El tren aminor la marcha y se le hizo un nudo

en el estmago. Haca aos que la capital era para l

suelo prohibido. Un encuentro fortuito o el eco de
un rumor bastaran para excavar su tumba bajo el
asfalto. Pero a veces hay que hacer lo que hay que
hacer. Se baj del tren, cruz el andn con la capu-
cha calada hasta los pmulos, y lleg hasta la parada
del autobs urbano mezclado entre la gente.
En el taller de su padre recogi un ciclomo-
tor desvencijado. La llave estaba escondida, como
siempre, en el interior del faro delantero. Pate el
arranque varias veces, pero el motor se resista.
En movimiento arranca mejor. Usa los peda-
les.
Se dio la vuelta: su padre le miraba desde el mar-
co de la puerta. Ms arrugas de las que recordaba,
pero la misma cara de cemento.
Te lo dejo aqu maana por la noche.
Le podas cambiar las gomas. Que te vas a
matar.
Te importara?
La ltima patada caus un chisporroteo y el
motor se puso a toser. Sin mirar a su padre, aceler
calle abajo. La siguiente parada sera an ms des-
agradable, pero forzosa.
La de Maira haba sido su cama durante ao y
medio. Eran los das dorados, cuando los fajos eran
gruesos y los billetes nunca menores de cincuenta.
Se beba todas las noches, y siempre en compaa
a veces desconocida. Entonces Maira an no haba
empezado a emponzoarse, y su boca y sus dien-
tes y sus manos y sus uas eran todava agradables.
Una vaga nostalgia le apret en el pecho bajo el re-
fejo de las luces navideas. Cmo puedo echar de
menos lo que nunca he tenido, pens.
Apret cinco o seis botones en el telefonillo. Al
salir l del ascensor, un sujeto encogido y nervioso
se asom a la puerta del apartamento y se precipit
escaleras abajo. En lel umbral, Maira termin de ta-
parse con una bata mohosa.
Quin era ese?
Uno.
The train slowed down and a lump formed in his
throat. For years now, the city had been forbidden
ground to him. A sheer-chance encounter or the echo
of a rumor would be enough to dig his grave under
the concrete foor. But sometimes, one has to do what
he ought to. So he stepped out of the train, walked
across the platform with his hoodie over his head, and
reached the bus station lost amidst the crowd.
He picked up an old, beat-up moped at his fathers
repair shop. The key was hidden, as always, inside the
headlight. He kicked the lever several times, but the
little engine wouldnt give in.
Its easier to start in motion. Use the pedals.
He turned around: His father was staring at him
from the threshold. There were more wrinkles in his
face than he remembered, but it was the same cement
face.
Ill drop it off tomorrow night.
Might as well change the tires. Youre gonna get
yourself killed.
You wouldnt mind, now, would you?
The last kick caused a loud, crackling noise, and
the engine began sputtering. Without looking at his
father, he dashed down the street. The next stop was
to be even more disagreeable, but necessary.
Mairas bed had been his own for over a year and a
half. Those were the golden days, when rolls were fat
and bills never smaller than ffties. There was drinking
every night, and always with company even with
complete strangers. Back then Maira hadnt begun
poisoning herself yet, and her mouth and teeth and
hands and nails were still nice to see and touch. A
vague nostalgia packed under his chest as he looked
at the Christmas lights. How can one miss what he
never had, he thought.
He pushed fve or six buttons on the entry phone.
As he walked out of the elevator, a scrawny, hunched
man emerged from the apartment and rushed down
the stairs. At the threshold, Maira fnished covering
herself with a musty gown.
Who was that?
Someone.
Suelo Prohibido Forbidden Ground
Pablo I. Castrillo
This story was originally published in Spanish in www.respublica.es on February 21st, 2014.
1
No se hablaron durante un minuto.
Te quedas unos das?
Dnde est Ins?
Qudate unos das. T y yo podramos Pue-
do limpiar el piso.
La mir arqueando las cejas y pase la mirada
por la cochambre. Maira ya haba empezado a des-
nudarse.
Qudate. Te necesito. Slo hasta maana.
Maira le miraba y le dejaba de mirar con ojos
llenos de nada. Inmediatamente, sin mediar pala-
bra, se hizo una perfecta composicin de lugar: si
se quedaba, se despertara al da siguiente frente al
can de una pistola. Sent a Maira en el sof y le
cerr la bata en un acto de misericordia ms que de
honestidad.
Tu amigo. Ese uno Va a volver con otros
dos, verdad?
Sigues igual de guapo.
Le acarici las mejillas y l le dijo puta y zorra y
asquerosa. Encendi un cigarrillo.
Si no me dices dnde est mi hija
Maira dej escapar una risa aturdida y le quit el
cigarrillo de los labios. Sin dejar de sonrer, plant
la cabeza incandescente en su propia pantorrilla. El
olor a piel quemada le dej paralizado unos segun-
dos. Solt un manotazo, y el cigarrillo cay en la
alfombra y lo pis. Tom un vaso amarillento de la
mesa camilla y lo vaci en el muslo de Maira, que
se rea con un timbre manaco.
No puedes hacerme dao. Aunque quieras.
Mir el reloj; mir a Maira; pens en el tiempo
en que la amaba, ms o menos, y volvi a mirar el
reloj. Tena razn. Ech un vistazo alrededor: coca-
colas, ropa acartonada, ceniza, ron barato. La puerta
de la habitacin. Maira se removi en su asiento.
Qu haces?
Entr en la habitacin, vaci los cajones de una
mesilla sin patas, examin el armario, revolvi las
sbanas hediondas. Quiso vomitar. Desgarr la fun-
da de la almohada e introdujo la mano entre las plu-
mas hasta que sinti el tacto liso del plstico. Volvi
a la sala de estar con una bolsita en la mano. Maira
perdi los nervios.
No, no, no
Dnde est Ins?
Nononono
They didnt spoke for over a minute.
Will you be staying for a few days?
Wheres Agnes?
Why dont you stay for a few days? You and I
could I could clean up the place.
He stared at her raising his eyebrows and looked
around, taking in the flth. Maira was already taking
her clothes off.
Please stay. I need you. Just until tomorrow.
Mairas empty eyes looked at him and looked away
alternatively. Suddenly, without another word, he
perfectly and completely understood his position: If
he stayed, hed wake up the following morning with
a barrel on his face. He sat her down on the sofa and
tied her gown, more out of mercy than decency.
Your friend. That someone Hes coming
back with a couple more, isnt he?
Youre still so handsome.
She stroked his cheeks and he called her a whore
and a bitch. He lit a cigarette.
If you dont tell me where my daughter is
Maira let out a dumb guffaw and took the cigarette
from his lips. With the same smile on her face, she
planted the red-hot tip on her own thigh. The smell of
burning skin froze him for a few seconds. He threw a
smack and the cigarette fell on the carpet. He stepped
on it, took a glass of yellowish water from the coffee
table, and emptied it on her burn. Maira laughed like
a maniac.
You cant hurt me. Even if you want to.
He checked his watch, then looked at Maira. He
thought about the time when he loved her, more or
less, and checked the time again. She was right. He
scanned the place: soda cans, rotten clothes, ashes,
bottles of cheap rum. The bedrooms door. Maira
stirred on her seat.
What are you doing?
He burst into the bedroom, emptied the drawers
of a legless night stand, searched the closet, lifted the
stinking bedsheets. He wanted to throw up. He ripped
the pillow open and felt the smooth, fat touch of
plastic. He returned to the living room with a small
plastic bag. Maira lost it.
No, no, no
Wheres Agnes?
Nononono
2
Se subi el jersey tapndose la nariz y la boca
y prendi fuego a la bolsa. El plstico empez a
fundirse y a gotear. Maira se abalanz sobre l con
furia animal, golpeando, araando, mordiendo. l
protegi la bolsa en llamas con el cuerpo y us el
otro brazo para arrojar a Maira contra el suelo. Aho-
ra s, lloraba.
Dnde est Ins?
Estaba en El Palacio Luego se qued pre-
ada.
Qu?
Maira llor y gimi.
Sigue en El Palacio?
La bolsa, por favor.
Dnde est Ins?
La loba! Se fue con la loba. No s si sigue
all.
Mir a la bolsa terminar de consumirse y mir a
Maira, ya consumida. Dej que las llamas devora-
ran la herona haciendo esfuerzos para no respirar.
Pens en lo que dira a Maira: Eres una puta por
abandonar a tu hija; pero despus pens en lo que
ella le dira a l: Igual que t. Y tendra razn. Se
quem las yemas de los dedos. Dejo caer la bolsa
y la aplast, arrastrando el plstico fundido por la
moqueta. No cerr la puerta al salir.
El viento fro de la calle le espabil. Deba de
haber inhalado algo de ese vaho txico, porque se
senta mareado. Arranc el ciclomotor de una pata-
da. La Loba era una monja que acoga a muchachas
descarriadas. Pero era famosa por devolverlas a la
calle si no cooperaban. Y sospechaba que Ins no
cooperara. Preada. Manda huevos.
Aparc a escondidas, camin, fum, observ, y
fnalmente, le dio al telefonillo. Tuvo que pelearse
con la Loba para demostrar que era el padre de Ins
y que le dejara entrar. All estaba, su cara y su vien-
tre hinchados como una ampolla. All estaba, y ni
una sola palabra se asom a sus labios; o al menos,
ninguna que pareciera tener sentido all y entonces.
As que dijo hola, torpemente, y le arranc una
sonrisa a Ins. Ella seal su bombo.
Qu opinas?
Se encogi de hombros.
De quin es?
Todos preguntan eso. Nadie se pregunta
quin es.
Dime que no es del Palacio.
He covered his mouth and nose with the collar of
his sweater and lit the bag on fre. Plastic began to melt
and drip. Maira lunged at him furiously, beating and
scratching, biting him. He used his body to protect the
burning bag and threw her away with his free arm.
Now she was crying.
Wheres Agnes?
She was at The Palace. Then she got pregnant.
What?
Maira weeped and moaned.
Is she still at The Palace?
The bag, please.
Wheres Agnes?
The She-wolf! She went with the She-wolf.
Dunno if shes still there.
He watched the plastic bag burning out and
turned to Maira, already burned out. He let the fames
eat through the heroine, struggling not to breathe. He
thought about what he would say to Maira: Youre
a whore for abandoning your daughter. But then he
thought about what she would say to him: Same as
you. He burned his fngertips. He dropped the bag
and stepped on it, spreading the molten plastic across
the carpet. He didnt shut the door upong leaving.
The cold wind on the street shook him up. He
must had inhaled some of that toxic vapour, because
he was feeling dizzy. He kicked the lever on the moped.
The She-wolf was a nun who took in stray girls. But
she was well known for kicking them out if they didnt
behave. And he had the suspicion that Agnes would
not behave. Pregnant. For fucks sake.
He parked in hiding, walked around, smoked,
watched, and fnally, rang the bell. He had to argue
with the She-wolf to prove he was Agnes dad so that
shed let him in. There she was, her face and belly
infated like huge blisters. There she was, and not
a single word came to his mouth; at least, not one
that wouldve seemed to make sense. So he just said
hello, awkwardly, and drew a smile out of Agnes.
She pointed at her belly.
What do you think?
He shrugged.
Whose is it?
Everybody asks that. Nobody asks, who is
he.
Tell me hes not from The Palace.
3
No importa, no?
Por qu fuiste all?
Maira Ya sabes, el dinero.
Puta.
Gracias.
No, no. Tu madre, digo.
Ins se ri en alto. De l, de su ingenuidad, de su
torpeza. Titube.
Est muy crecido.
Salgo de cuentas a fnal de semana.
La Loba interrumpi, preguntando cmo la ha-
ba encontrado, y entonces, por segunda vez esa
noche, la realidad le golpe. Pareca estar teniendo
una claridad de visin especial, infundida, pero por
desgracia, tarda. En el momento en que aquel hom-
brecillo mermado sali del apartamento de Maira,
deba haberse marchado. En el momento en que for-
z a Maira a revelarle el paradero de Ins, la haba
puesto en peligro. Y, ahora se daba cuenta, la haba
dejado sin un lugar seguro donde dar a luz.
Coge tus cosas. Nos vamos.
Ins se ri con un gesto de madre paciente. La
Loba dio un paso hacia el telfono.
No lo entiendes. Van a venir a por ti si les
sirve para llegar hasta m.
Quin?
Mis amigos.
La sonrisa de Ins se desvaneci y su mirada se
ti de decepcin. La palabra amigos signifcaba
muchas cosas en la vida de su padre, menos lo que
de hecho signifcaba.
No tienes ni idea de lo que he pasado. No te
imaginas lo que este bulto ha sido para m. Lo que
me cost dejar de beber, dejar de usar. Crees que
eres el nico que tiene amigos? Yo he tenido que
dejar a los mos. Has venido a destrozarlo todo.
Le dio la razn la tena pero eso no iba
a cambiar el hecho de que tenan que irse cuanto
antes. Amenaz a la Loba con un dedo.
No se mueva.
Vaya a la polica.
La gente como yo no puede ir a la polica,
hermana.
Ya en marcha, sinti agradecido las manos de
Ins estrechndose alrededor de su cintura cuando
arranc el ciclomotor. Aceler de golpe para que
ella tuviera que agarrarse ms fuerte. Ins levant
Does it matter?
Why did you go there?
Maira You know, the money.
Whore.
Thank you.
I mean your mother.
Agnes laughed out loud. At him, at his naivety, at
his clumsiness. He stammered.
Hes grown a lot.
Im due this weekend.
The She-wolf interrupted, asking how had he
found them, and then, for a second time that night,
reality struck him. He seemed to be having a special
clarity of vision, infused, but unfortunately belated.
The very moment that little man had left Mairas
apartment, he shouldve left. The very moment he
forced Maira to reveal Agnes whereabouts, he had
put her in great danger. And only now he was realizing.
He had just left her without a safe place to give birth.

Pick up your stuff. Were leaving.
Agnes laughed with the demeanor of a patient
mother. The She-wolf stepped toward the phone.
You dont understand. Theyll go after you if it
helps them come after me.
Who?
My friends.
Anges smile vanished and her gaze flled with
disappointment. The word friends meant many
things in her fathers life, except what it actually
meant.
You have no idea of what Ive been through.
You cant even begin to imagine what this lump has
meant for me. What it took to quit drinking, to stop
using. Do you think youre the only one who has
friends? I had to leave my friends. Youve come to
spoil everything.
He said she was right she was but that wasnt
going to change the fact that they had to leave. He
threatened the She-wolf with a pointed fnger.
Dont you move.
Go to the police.
People like me cant go to the police, sister.
Once on the move, he felt, grateful, Agnes hands
tightening around his waist as he started the engine.
He accelerated harshly, so that shed have to hold on
tighter. Agnes spoke over the wind.
4
la voz sobre el viento.
Sabes qu estoy pensando, que es muy cu-
rioso?
No. Qu?
Que mi padre y mi madre son las dos personas
en todo el mundo que ms dao habis hecho a mi
vida.
El ciclomotor crepit dolorido. Se concentr en
el ruido rtmico del motor y el tacto de las manos de
Ins. Se olvid de todo, de a dnde iban y por qu,
hasta que ella lo sac de su ensueo.
Adnde vamos?
El albergue.
No puedes meterme ah estando as.
Y a dnde quieres ir?
Se hizo el silencio. El albergue ola mal y estaba
lleno de caras aprensivas. Ella dijo que si no se ha-
ba parado a pensar en que sus amigos tambin
tenan amigos, y que podan andar por aqu.
Malo ser.
Tuvo que echar a dos sin techo de una habita-
cin para hacerle sitio a Ins, pero cuando volvi
con ella, otros cuatro esperaban dentro, y eran ms
grandes. El primer golpe vino por detrs. Percibi
una mancha oscura en movimiento, se hizo a un
lado, y el puetazo aterriz en lateral de su cuello.
Carg con todas sus fuerzas para abrirse paso hasta
la puerta, pero se estrell como contra una pared de
hormign. Cuatro brazos ciclpeos le aferraron por
la espalda y la lluvia de golpes comenz. No supo
decir si fue medio minuto o media hora, pero al cabo
de un rato los gritos nebulosos de Ins le sacaron de
la inconsciencia. Los golpes cesaron, y las manos
amables de su hija lo acompaaron hasta el ascen-
sor. Sangraba y sudaba y se le haba revuelto el es-
tmago. Vomit en la acera y anade hasta la fuente
de un parquecillo cercano. Ins slo le miraba con
gesto incrdulo. Como si tanta incompetencia fuera
imposible. Mientras el chorro de agua fra relajaba
el dolor de su cuello, Ins dej escapar un grito aho-
gado que le hel la sangre. Se gir: su hija estaba
doblada hacia adelante, las manos frmemente plan-
tadas en el vientre y sus piernas mojadas, mientras
un charquito amnitico se iba formando a sus pies.
Mierda. Se hurg en los bolsillos buscando la car-
tera. Se la haban robado en el albergue. Le dijo que
no se moviera, y se lanz a detener el nico coche
You know what Im thinking, thats kind of
funny?
No. What?
My father and mother are the two persons in
the whole world who have hurt my life most.
The moped squeaked in pain. He focused on the
rhythmic sound of the engine and on the touch of
Agnes hands. He forgot about everything else: Where
were they going, and why. Until she pulled him out of
his thoughts.
Where are we going?
The hostel.
You cant put me in there. Not like this.
And where do you wanna go?
Silence. The hostel reeked and was full of
aprehensive faces. She asked him whether he had
stopped to think that his friends could have other
friends around these parts.
Lets hope not.
He kicked two bums out of a bedroom to make
room for Agnes, but when he came back four more
were waiting inside, and they were bigger. The frst
blow came from behind. He caught a glimpse of a
shadow in motion, stepped aside, and the punch
struck him on the side of his neck. He charged with
all his might to make for the door, but found himself
stopped by a concrete wall. Four Herculean arms
fetched him and the downpour of blows began. He
couldnt say whether it was half a minute or half an
hour, but after a while he was waken up by Agnes
nebulous screams. The beating ceased, and the gentle
hands of his daughter helped him to the elevator.
He was bleeding and sweating and he felt sick in the
stomach. He threw up on the sidewalk and waddled
toward a nearby water fountain. Agnes just looked
at him in disbelief. As if so much ineptitude were
impossible to fnd. He let the cold water appease the
pain in his neck. A sudden gasp from Agnes made
him freeze. He whirled around: His daughter was bent
over, her hands frmly planted on her belly, and her legs
drenched, as she stood in the middle of an amniotic
puddle. Shit. He searched his pockets for his wallet,
but it had been stolen from him at the hostel. He told
her not to move and leaped onto the road to stop the
only passing car. The driver tried to dodge him, but
he moved over to block the way. He barely managed
to jump aside on time, but the cars quarter panel hit
5
que pasaba. El conductor quiso esquivarle, pero l
trat de bloquearle el paso. En el ltimo momento
se apart y la aleta trasera del coche le golpe en la
rodilla y lo arroj al suelo. Se levant mareado de
dolor y coje hasta Ins, que se haba tumbado en
un banco.
Llama al 112.
Tienes telfono?
Busca una cabina. O alguien que te preste.
Pero haz algo.
Estaba nerviosa y se le entrecortaba la respi-
racin. Sin poder apoyarse en la pierna izquierda,
dobl la esquina y encontr un bar media manzana
ms all. Telfono. Ambulancia.
Mientras uno de los sanitarios calmaba a Ins,
el otro le examin la rodilla con cara de malas noti-
cias. Se trag un calmante, y el traqueteo de la am-
bulancia empez a adormecerlo. Balbuci un qu
tal, nia, pero slo oy los soplidos histricos de
Ins.
El frenazo lo despert. Los sanitarios empujaron
la camilla hospital adentro, mientras un tipo vestido
de verde sala a echarle una mano.
Qu ha pasado ah?
Nada, nada. Estoy bien.
Pero esa rodilla
Nada.
Se qued ah sentado, distrado. El conductor de
la ambulancia le pidi que se moviera. Le cost caer
en la cuenta de que le estaban hablando. Su mira-
da haba aterrizado en tres individuos que fumaban
junto a la puerta. Algo volva a estar fuera de lugar.
Los examin despacio: un calvo gigante y dos gori-
las con pendiente. Se acerc a ellos, les pidi taba-
co, y fuego, y pregunt por la hora.
Qu tal est Ins?
Perdn?
Ins. Tu hija.
La sonrisa torcida del calvo le dijo todo lo que
tena que saber.
No s de qu estis hablando.
He odo que ya has recibido bastante en el al-
bergue.
Te equivocas de persona.
El mostrenco le palme en el cuello con mala
baba. No pudo contener una mueca de dolor. Tir la
colilla al suelo y entr en el hospital, pero lo pens
dos veces y rpidamente se dio la vuelta. Qu que-
him on the knee and hurled him several feet away. He
landed harshly on the pavement. He got up dazed and
nauseated by the pain, and limped toward Agnes, who
was lying on a bench.
Call 911.
You have a phone?
Find a phone booth. Or borrow it from
someone. But do something.
She was anxious and her breathing faltered.
Unable to support himself on his left leg, he turned
the corner and spotted a bar half a block ahead.
Phone. Ambulance.
As one of the medics calmed Agnes down, the
other one checked on his knee with a face that spoke
rivers of bad news. He swallowed a painkiller. The
rattling of the vehicle made him doze off. He babbled,
Hows it going, kid, but he could only hear Agnes
hysterical huffng.
The squeaking brakes woke him up. The medics
pushed the stretcher into the hospital as a man in
green scrubs approached him to help.
What happened there?
Nothing. Im alright.
That knee
Nothing.
He sat there, spaced out. The driver of the
ambulance asked him to move away. He barely
realized he was being spoken to. His gaze was fxed on
three individuals who were smoking by the entrance.
Something was out of place. Again. He observed
them: A gigantic bald man and two gorillas with
earrings. He approached them, asked for a smoke and
a light and the time.
Hows Agnes?
Excuse me?
Agnes. Your daughter.
The bald mans crooked smile told him everything
he needed to know.
Dont know what youre talking about.
I heard you already took enough of a beating
at the hostel.
You got the wrong person.
The thug purposefully patted his neck. He
couldnt hide a painful wince. He dropped the stub on
the ground and made for the hospital entrance. But
he thought about it twice and turned around quickly.
6
ris, pregunt.
Te vienes con nosotros por las buenas y todos
en paz.
Tengo una hija chillando de dolor ahora mis-
mo en el paritorio
El grandulln sacudi la cabeza, impaciente.
y un nieto a punto de venir al mundo.
Me da igual. De verdad que me da igual.
Ahora haba lgrimas deslizndose por sus meji-
llas. Unas de rabia, y otras de autntico pesar. Poda
intentar correr, pero tena la rodilla hecha pedazos y
an quedaba Ins. Poda intentar pelear, pero eran
tres y ms grandes y l estaba exhausto, y si perda,
an quedaba Ins. Por no poder, no poda ni matarse
all mismo aunque quisiera. No le quedaba ni ese
privilegio. Porque todava quedaba Ins.
Saboreando la sal de sus propias lgrimas, asin-
ti. El matn le hizo un gesto con la cabeza y los
cuatro caminaron hasta el aparcamiento. Ins se
despertara con un nio en brazos y l ya no estara
all.
What do you want, he asked.
You come with us willingly and everyone gets
what they want.
Ive got a daughter screaming her lungs out in
the delivery room.
The big guy shook his head, irritated.
and a grandson about to come into this
world.
I dont care. Really, I dont.
Now tears were rolling down his cheeks. Some of
rage, others of true sorrow. He could try to run, but
his knee was shattered and there was still Agnes. He
could try to fght, but they were three, and bigger, and
he was exhausted, and if he lost, there was still Agnes.
He couldnt kill himself on the spot even if he wanted
to. He didnt have that privilege. Because there was
still Agnes.
Tasting the salt of his own tears, he nodded. The
goon pointed the way with a motion of his head
and the four of them walked toward the parking lot.
Agnes would wake up with a child in her arms but he
wouldnt be there anymore.
7