> The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class
> the following question, "What is bright red and shiny?". Little
Johnny

> jumped up and shouted, "A fire engine!!!!???"
> No! No!" said the teacher," But I like the way you think.. anyone
> else?" Little Susan replied that it was an apple and everyone was
> happy except Johnny of course..
> Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to
> which she nodded OK.
> "What is long, hard, rounded and has hair at one end?" "JOHNNY!!!"
she

> screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT TALK HERE..."
> Johnny replied, "No, it's a toothbrush, but I like the way you
> think"..

> Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems When his
> teacher picked him to answer a question..
> "Johnny, if there were 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shot one
> with your gun, how many would be left?"
> "None", replied Johnny "cause the rest would fly away."
> "Well, the answer is 4", said the teacher. "but I like the way you
are

> thinking."
> Little Johnny retaliated. "I have a question for you now. If there
> were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her
> cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone,
> which one is married? "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess
the

> one sucking the cone?"
> "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her
> finger. But I like the way you are thinking.."

> town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing
> in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the
> lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and
> then Daddy got on top of her and -"
> The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word! Wait until
> your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what
> you've just told me."
> Father comes home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him. "But
> why?" he croaks. "Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told
me."
> "Well," said little Johnny, "I was playing in your closet and Daddy

> came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they
> got into bed and Daddy got on top of her..." "...and they did just
> what you did last week, Mommy, with Uncle Bob".

> Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day,
> the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to
> heaven first.
> One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to
> heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in
> God." The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his
> hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God
is

> all about love." "That is so beautiful, Billy", praises the teacher.
> The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she
> thought, "I'm not gonna like this..Little Johnny, which part of the
> body do you think goes to heaven first?"
> Little Johnny says, "Your feet." The teacher
> (relieved) asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.. He
> replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and
> my mom had her feet up in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh God, I'm
> coming!'"

> Johnny missed his final exams due to the flu, but he'd done so well
> during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they
> give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The
> principal agreed so they called Johnny into the office, explained,
> then the teacher asked, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I
> only have two of?" Johnny replied, "Legs." The teacher asked,
"Johnny,

> what do you have in your pants that i don't have in my pants?" Johnny
> replied, "Pockets." The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital
of

> Italy?"
> Johnny replied. "Rome." The teacher turned to the principal and
asked,

> Little Johnny's mother sent Little Johnny to the store to get a loaf
> of bread..Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the
> loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket..
> Along comes Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good
> opportunity to say something from the Bible to Little Johnny." He
> walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny, that you
> have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
> Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread, Father".

> he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win
> lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The
> teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had
> handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of
> little Johnny's urge to gamble. Shortly after lunch, the father
called

> the teacher and asked her how things were going.
> "Oh, everything is going very well" she said. "I think I may have
> cured little Jhnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what
> had happened.
> "He absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole
on

> my rear," she said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the
> teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole." "Crap!" The father
> said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the
> teacher's bare butt before the day was over."

> One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her
> cleavage.She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about
> you,jonny?"
> "Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
> "No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer.
> Roses drink water,"explained the teacher.
> "Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"

> Johnny returns from school and says he got an FAIL in
> arithmetics."Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is
> 2x3?' I said '6'"
> "But that's right!"
> "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
> "What's the fucking difference?"
> "That's exactly what I said."

> Five years old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a
> keyhole at their parents making love "Wow, look at them! And we are
> not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"

> Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each
> other."Dad, what're the dogs doing?" asks Johnny. "Well, the one
below