Love Systems Insider
Date: June 2009
Hey guys,Have you ever had this happen?You meet a girl. Things go well. You get her number. Maybe you even meet up once or twice. And thenthings just seem to...... die?She doesn’t say she has a boyfriend. She doesn’t give you the “let’s just be friends” speech. But, you alsofeel her attraction slipping every day. And there doesn’t seem to be any obvious reason.Well, we’re going to deal with that situation today, but first some quick review if you’re new to LoveSystems.
REVIEW
If you’ve read our books Magic Bullets and the Love Systems Routines Manuals Volume 1and Volume
2,you know about emotional momentum. If not, for now think of attracting women like riding a bicycle.You have to move forward, or you will fail. There’s no standing still. The more you’re already moving,the easier it is to keep moving (the opposite is also true). It’s a rough analogy, but it’ll work for now.It can be tough to move forward in the first call or text messages. She may not be in the same emotionalstate as when she first met you. The initial attraction you built with her has been evaporating since themoment you left. You have to recover all of that ground AND move forward.Or... you fall off the bicycle.(If this is new to you or if you’re not regularly converting phone numbers into dates... this isn’t the timeto go into the details of phone and text game. Get up to speed – re-read Chapter 20 (Phone Game) of Magic Bullets, listen to Sinn and I talk about phone game,or read the classic Braddock/Savoy post on
text messages. And stay tuned... soon we’ll be releasing the comprehensive guide to phone and text game byBraddock (withMr. M).
THE LOVE SYSTEMS SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL MOMENTUM
If you feel a solid “pickup” slipping away, keep these three rules handy.
LOVE SYSTEMS SECRET #1: Bait, don’t chase
When a woman seems to be slipping away, most guys (at least most guys who don’t know Love Systems)will chase her harder. She didn’t answer the last text? Call her! Phone calls are short? Ask her out!It’s logical, but counter-productive.You want her to invest her time and emotional energy in you. But once you’ve asked her a couple of times, continuing to push the same offer on her will make her want it (and you) LESS.It’s the same with any kind of investment. Let’s say your friend Joe wants you to invest in his new business. You keep dodging the question but Joe keeps asking or hinting at it. The more he does this, themore SURE you are that you don’t want to invest. And after a while, you stop answering Joe’s calls because you smell his agenda a mile away.A BETTER WAYWhat if Joe recognized that you didn’t want to invest. Instead of pressuring you, he backed off, talkedabout other things, and only casually once in a while referred to his business but without asking you for anything. It sounds like it’s doing well, and one day he invites you to drop by and visit.Well, you can do that can’t you? And if you liked what you saw, what’s going to happen next? You’ll probably ask HIM if he’s interested in more investors. Just like a beautiful woman will often start hintingat date opportunities and places to meet up when you’ve got some emotional momentum going.The first key is to LOWER THE INVESTMENT LEVEL YOU ARE ASKING OF HER. There are manyways to do this, depending on the situation, but here are some of the big ones:
•
Texts instead of phone calls
•
Light, fun conversation instead of serious topics
•
Conversation for the sake of it alone instead of making plans
•
Shorter rather than longer phone calls (and text messages)In summary – take a step back, make sure she’s with you, and then start going forward and buildingmomentum again... together.
LOVE SYSTEMS SECRET #2: Be in the moment
Tell me if this story sounds familiar. You met a woman you’re interested in. She is all over you, insistsyou take her number, promises to make you dinner this weekend and implies that she might be thedesert...... but it’s not that same girl when (if?) you get her on the phone. She’s actually busy this weekend anddoesn’t suggest another date.Well, that’s not fair, is it?
Darn right it isn’t. Before I learned Love Systems and changed my life around, this used to get me sofrustrated. Sometimes I’d even call the girl and ask what the heck happened. (There’s no point doing thateither.)To explain what’s going on and what to do, I’m going to take you on a little detour.I love playing board games. It’s a very nerdy hobby – I’m not talking about games people know, like
Trivial Pursuit
or
Monopoly
. I’m talking about games no one has heard of – detailed games re-fightingancient wars, and so on.(Obviously, this isn’t something most women can relate to. But, it’s my hobby and I’m passionate aboutit. Since women are attracted by emotion, not logic (you should know this), the average swimsuit modelwill genuinely prefer to hear me passionately talk about board games and why I love them more than Mr.Generic boring her droning on about his cars and money.Like Love Systems expert Mr. M wroterecently on The Attraction Forums, she feels what you feel. I’ll take passionate over bored any day.)Anyway... there’s one game I used to play a lot called
Diplomacy
. It’s a game of negotiation, betrayal,and intrigue, with a bit of military strategy thrown in. I used to be fairly good, but not great. Attournaments, I’d often get to the “final table” (the top seven players, since it’s a seven-player game) and just as often be one of the first players eliminated.Almost ten years ago, at the World Boardgaming Championships (yes, it does exist), I deliberately got a previous year’s champion drunk so he’d tell me my flaw. See, one of the lessons I learned in school froma Goldman Sachs guest lecturer was “Alcohol Works.” I stick with good advice wherever I find it.My flaw? Not strategy. Not tactics. Not negotiation.Optimistic self-delusion.He told me he could pull the wool over my eyes by figuring out what it was that I wanted to believe, andthen use that against me while he prepared to stab me in the back. If I was playing France and I reallywanted to believe that my English ally wasn’t about to attack me, then I’d believe just about anyexplanation the English player would give me... Before he stuck the knife in.
“Play the board as it is, not how you want it to be.”
Board games are silly, but the lesson isn’t. It’s funny how many times I’ve repeated that exact phrasewithout anyone asking where or what this “board” was about. But the meaning is clear, and veryapplicable to Love Systems.The woman you want was all over you last night? That was last turn. Board’s changed.A woman is in your neighborhood and wants to come over tonight after being standoffish for weeks?Board’s changed. Tomorrow she might not want to. You’ll get nowhere by saying “but last night youwanted to,” at least no further than I’d get in a Diplomacy game saying “but last turn you didn’t have anarmy next to Paris.”
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