Weaver 1

24 April 2008
Cant Let Go
Miguel sat by the bed and looked out the indo! "he last o# the $olor#ul autu%n
leaves ere being stripped #ro% the trees by the ind! "aking #light #or a %o%ent& they
ould sirl around in $ir$les then #all to the ground and re%ain there& al%ost i%%obile!
"urning his head slightly& Miguel sa his re#le$tion in the glass! "he rinkles in
his #orehead %ade hi% see% %u$h older than a %an o# '2& but his large& $hestnut eyes
looked like those o# a lost and $on#used $hild!
(ustling #ro% the bed $aught his attention! )e looked at his i#e& *%ily& ho
as lying on the rinkled& $rea% bed sheets! )er shoulder+length blonde hair as
s$attered over the pillo and her pink& heart+shaped lips parted slightly as she breathed!
Miguel ished that she asnt so pale! )e stood up #ro% his $hair and pushed it
ba$kards in #rustration! "he do$tor had to do so%ething, )e $ouldnt -ust give up,
Miguel looked at his i#e on$e %ore then alked out o# their bedroo%! )e as
going to get the do$tor ba$k here! )e had to!
.....
A#ter an hour o# arguing ith the ton do$tor& he returned to his i#e& de#eated!
When he alked into the roo% he sa his eight+year old daughter& *lla& trying to help her
out o# bed!
/What are you doing01 he asked *lla as he -erked her aay #ro% her %other and
leaned in to support his i#e!
/Ma%a ants to see %y #loers&1 *lla said so#tly& taking a step ba$kards!
/2ou kno she is si$k and needs to rest,1
Weaver 2
/Miguel& its #ine! 3 ant to go see the%&1 said *%ily as she eakly struggled
against hi% to stand!
/Absolutely not, 4o lay don&1 said Miguel ith a stern voi$e as he steadily
ga5ed into his i#es e%erald green eyes! A#ter a %o%ent o# si%ply holding her still& her
strength see%ed to deplete and she laid ba$k don! /3ll be ba$k in a %inute&
seetheart&1 he said a##e$tionately as he kissed her on the $heek! /*lla& $o%e ith %e,1
Grabbing his daughter by the ar% he pulled her out o# the roo% and 6uietly shut the door!
/7apa& youre hurting %y ar%,1 *lla $ried as they alked don the hallay!
Miguel slung her around in #ront o# hi%& grabbed both o# her shoulders& and shook
her as he said& /What ere you thinking0 2our %other needs her rest, Are you trying to
%ake her die sooner01
*llas eyes idened! "ears began silently sliding don her $heeks! 8he didnt
%ove! 8he didnt speak! 8he -ust stood there looking up at hi%!
Miguel took a deep breath! )is shoulders hun$hed #orard! )e let go o# *lla and
pla$ed his hand on his #orehead& trying to stop the li6uid drops o# anger and sorro that
threatened to #ill his eyes! A#ter a %o%ent he got don on his knees and looked at his
daughter! )er aist+length& avy bla$k hair as sti$king against her tear+stained olive
$heeks and her e%erald eyes& that ere so %u$h like her %others& shone like polished
ge%s!
/3% sorry& *lla! 3% -ust orried about your Ma%a! Co%e here&1 he said&
rea$hing his ar%s around her petite #ra%e and draing her $lose to hi%! /4o go to
your roo% and play #or a hile! 9k01
/9k& 7apa!1
Weaver '
Miguel at$hed *lla until she turned the $orner! "hen& he ent ba$k in to be ith
his i#e! When he returned she as sleeping again! )e sat ba$k don beside the bed!
)is hands began to shake as he looked at her! 8hi#ting in his seat& he leaned #orard and
pla$ed his head on the bed! "hen& $losing his eyes he hispered in a $ra$ked voi$e&
/God& please dont let her die!1
.....
Miguel s%iled as he at$hed his i#e and daughter $hase ea$h other through the
#ield! 3t as a per#e$t su%%er day and the roses in the garden ere all bloo%ing! )e
$lipped to& one hite and one red! 8trolling up behind *%ily& he hid the roses behind
hi% and tapped her on the shoulder! 8he turned! "he sunlight behind her #or%ed a glo
around her #a$e! Miguel thought she looked like an angel! )e brought the roses out #ro%
behind his ba$k!
/"his is #or you %y dear&1 he said& handing her the red rose! 8he tilted her head
and s%iled as she a$$epted it!
/"hank you&1 she hispered a##e$tionately as she leaned in and brushed his $heek
ith her lips! )e ga5ed at her #or a %o%ent& then looked don! *lla as standing there&
at$hing the% ith a s%ile on her #a$e! )e bent don and pi$ked her up ith one ar%!
/And this is #or you&1 he said& giving her the hite rose!
/3ts beauti#ul&1 she said as she rapped her deli$ate ar%s around his ne$k!
/"hank you& 7apa!1
)e sat her don and they all started alking! "he ind started to pi$k up! )e
$ould #eel it tossing his ebony hair #ro% side to side!
.....
Weaver 4
Miguel opened his eyes& not knoing 6uite here he as! )e $ould #eel
so%ething %oving against the top o# his head! )e raised his head #ro% the bed and
straightened up& stret$hing his hands to the $eiling as he repeatedly blinked his eyes&
trying to regain $lear vision! )e as still in the bedroo%!
/Miguel&1 he heard #ro% the blurry #or% on the bed!
/2es& dear! :o you need so%ething01 he asked& his voi$e still groggy!
/Wheres *lla01
/3% here& Ma%a&1 said a voi$e behind Miguel! )e turned to see his daughter
hugging the door#ra%e! 8he alked toards the bed and stopped beteen Miguel and
*%ily!
/*lla&1 *%ily hispered! Miguel took a step ba$k& noti$ing that his i#e as
be$o%ing paler! /*lla& 3 ant you to kno ho proud 3 a% o# you!1 *%ily rea$hed out
and stroked the side o# *llas #a$e as Miguel kept at$hing! /8tay good& %y love! 8tay
pious! 3# you do God ill alays prote$t you& and hen 3 -oin )i% in heaven 3 ill look
don on you every day so 3 $an see the beauti#ul o%an you be$o%e!1 *%ily glan$ed
up at Miguel and he kne she as about to leave hi%! )is heart rate 6ui$kened and his
lungs burned& like there as #ire inside hi%! )e as about to speak& but she turned her
ga5e ba$k upon *lla and his %outh $la%ped shut!
/*lla& re%e%ber& 3ll alays be here&1 she said& pla$ing her hand upon the girls
heart! Miguel looked at his daughter& the ob-e$t o# his i#es love! )is bro rinkled
and his eyes kept looking at his i#es hand and the girls #a$e! ;a$k and #orth he looked<
un#a%iliar #eelings passed through his heart! )e kept staring until the hand started
slipping #ro% its pla$e!
Weaver =
/Ma%a,1 *lla s$rea%ed! Miguel looked ba$k at his i#e! )e stared at her blank
eyes that ere still staring at the #a$e o# their daughter! *lla $lut$hed her %other and
$ried out! Miguel turned aay and #a$ed the indo! 3t as snoing! Winter had $o%e!
.....
While absently staring at the pastor& Miguel heard the spring+ti%e birds $hirping
outside the $hur$h! )e ished he $ould -oin the% and #ly aay! "hen& he $ould be #ree!
)e ouldnt have to orry about being responsible #or anyone but hi%sel#! )e ouldnt
have to #ind a ne -ob! )e ouldnt have to %arry #or %oney!
Miguel turned to Catherine& his ne i#e& as the pastor #inished speaking!
>or$ing a s%ile on his #a$e& he leaned in and kissed her! )is sto%a$h #elt like it as
o$$upied by a sta%pede o# elephants and his $hest tightened& inhibiting hi% #ro%
breathing! As he stood ere$t again& he s%iled! "he broader his s%ile be$a%e& the harder
he $len$hed his #ist! )e #elt a ar%& li6uid substan$e start to slide don his hand& but he
didnt $are! "his as li#e!
)e and Catherine alked don the aisle toard the $hur$h doors #olloed by
*lla& and his to ne step+daughters& Gabrielle and ?i$toria!
.....
Miguel sat in bed pretending to read hile his i#e sat brushing her hair in the
$hair a$ross #ro% hi%! )e $ouldnt believe that it had been a year sin$e *%ily died! )is
heart stung as he re%e%bered her! Why did it still have to hurt so bad0
8hutting the book and putting it on the night stand& he noti$ed Catherine looking
at hi%! )er %ousey+bron hair hung li%ply at her shoulders and her grey eyes see%ed
to s$an his!
Weaver @
/2ou looked deep in thought&1 Catherine said& slipping onto the bed neAt to hi%!
/2es& 3 suppose 3 as&1 he replied!
/2ou ere thinking about *lla& erent you01 Catherine asked! Miguel kept eye+
$onta$t ith her& but said nothing! /3ve noti$ed her attitude&1 she $ontinued! /Gabrielle
and ?i$toria have noti$ed it too! :id you kno that she onBt even play ith the%0 8he
says that shes busy& and then goes outside by hersel#! 3 kne it as only a %atter o# ti%e
be#ore you started orrying about it!1 8he looked don and stroked Miguels hand ith
her #ingertips! /)oney& 3 think e should do so%ething be#ore her attitude gets out o#
$ontrol!1 Miguel looked at the #loor!
/Like hat01 he hispered!
/Well&1 she said& no stroking his ar%& /she needs to reali5e that she is not
superior to us in any ay!1 Miguel looked up at her! /3 think she needs %ore
responsibilities! 3 kno she doesnt have any $lothes suitable #or orking in& but 3 $an
get those easily! 8he needs to kno that sheBs not too good to do any -ob!1 Miguel
opened his %outh to say so%ething& but shut it again hen his i#e $ontinued! /And& 3
think that e need to have her $hange roo%s! )er roo% is bigger than Gabrielles and
?i$torias& and that $ould be $ontributing to this attitude o# hers!1 Miguel shi#ted on the
bed! Catherine hesitated a %o%ent! 8he laid her head on his shoulder then said&
/:arling& youve been a#ully 6uiet! What do you think01
/2ou $anBt eApe$tC1
/Miguel&1 Catherine interrupted& raising hersel# to be eyelevel ith hi%! /8hes
old enough to a$t better than this! )er %other died a year ago! 2oure re+%arried! 3ts
ti%e she a$$ept that and %ove on! And& 3ll tell you hat 3 eApe$t! 3 eApe$t her to start
Weaver D
being dis$iplined #irst thing in the %orning! 3 re#use to live ith a girl ho a$ts like a
snooty prin$ess any longer! 3s that understood01
Miguels $hest tightened! )e looked at his i#e one %ore ti%e! )o dare she
order hi% around, *%ily ould have never done that, )e $len$hed his -a de#iantly as
his breaths be$a%e shorter and 6ui$ker! "hen& s$ooting don in the $overs& he rolled to
the side and $losed his eyes!
.....
Miguel alked briskly through the #orest! 3t as getting dark and he needed to
get to ho%e! )e thought he heard a noise& so he stopped and looked over his shoulder!
"here stood *lla!
/*lla& hat are you doing out here01 he asked! 8he started to run! /*lla, *lla&
stop,1 he shouted as he ran a#ter her! )e $ouldnt tell here she as going! 8he see%ed
to 5ig5ag through the trees& disappearing and reappearing! /*lla,1
8uddenly she stopped! )e $ould see her sloly alking toards so%eone! )e
ran $loser! 8he grabbed the #igures hand! 3t looked likeCbut it $ouldnt be! 8tanding
ith *lla as *%ily! 8he as radiant! As he approa$hed& *lla stepped in #ront o# her and
*%ily put her hands on the s%all girls shoulders! )e alked sloly no!
/*%ily0 3s that you01 he asked! 8he looked at hi% #or a %o%ent& then looked
don at the girl beteen the%! "hen *lla turned& took her hand again& and pulled *%ily
aay! "hey started running through the #orest!
/Wait! 7leaseCait&1 Miguel $ried as he tried to #ollo the%! "hey ran out o#
the #orest and a$ross a #ield! 3t looked like *lla as pulling *%ily toards a #en$ed+in
area ith statues! )e kept running a#ter the%& but he as too slo! "hey disappeared
Weaver 8
into the shados! As he ran #urther he reali5ed that the pla$e they had run into as a
$e%etery! )e ent in& $alled their na%es and sear$hed #or the%! "hen he sa her! 3t
as *lla! 8he as sitting on the ground!
/Wheres your %other01 he asked! *lla looked behind her and his ga5e #olloed<
there as a headstone ith *%ilys na%e on it!
.....
Miguel sat up in bed and gasped! )is hole body as shaking ith anger! )o
$ould *lla have stolen her #ro% hi% like that0 8eat dripped #ro% his #orehead and
don his ar%s! Catherine oke up and rea$hed over to grab his ar%!
/Miguel& hats rong01 she asked!
/3 hate her&1 he said& still breathing heavily! /)o $ould she01
/Who01
Miguel grabbed Catherine by the shoulders and shook her! /3 hate her, :o you
understand& Catherine0 3 hate her,1
Catherine sat 6uietly in his grip! )e $ould hear her breathing! )e i%agined that
her grey eyes ere enlarged ith sho$k& looking at hi% in the bla$kness o# the night! )e
released his grip and put his hands over his #a$e! A#ter a %o%ent& he looked up! )e as
beginning to be able to see the outline o# Catherines #igure neAt to hi%!
/3% sorry! 3t as -ust a night%are! Go ba$k to bed!1
/Are you sureC1
/3 dont ant to talk about it right no,1 Miguel interrupted! "hen& he s$ooted
ba$k don in the $overs! )e lay there #or a %o%ent& listening to Catherines breathing!
>inally& he heard her lay ba$k don! )is %ind over#loed ith thoughts about his past&
Weaver E
the present& and his drea%! "urning on his side to #a$e her& he said& /3 think youre right!1
/(ight about hat01 Catherine asked!
/About *lla! :o hatever you think is best! 3ts ti%e that $hild learn her pla$e!1
.....
Miguel stood at the kit$hen indo& blankly staring outside at here *lla had
been -ust an hour be#ore! 3t as *llas eighteenth birthday and he had been at$hing her
tend to her #avorite spot& her %otherBs grave! 8he had been earing a plain& grey dress
that as $overed in ash #ro% sleeping beside the #irepla$e! 8he looked so %u$h like her
%other ith her petite #ra%e& deli$ate #a$ial #eatures& and radiant green eyes! 9nly her
$urly bla$k hair re%inded Miguel o# hi%sel#!
"he ind ble& rustling the leaves on the trees& and Miguel looked don! )e
$ouldnt believe that *lla as really gone! )o as it possible0 )e never alloed her to
go out and so$iali5e ith people! )ed kept her in rags all these years! 8he as al%ost
alays $overed in ash #ro% the #irepla$e! )er sisters had even ni$kna%ed her Cinderella&
be$ause she stayed so dirty all the ti%e! What %an ould pursue that0
2et& the %an had $o%e and took *lla #ro% hi%! 8he looked so happy as she
alked out o# the house hand in hand ith the young %an that she $alled her /7rin$e
Char%ing!1 "he stupid en$h! )e should have knon better than to trust her! )e
should have knon that she ould sneak o## and #ind so%e guy to %arry! )e should
have knon that she ould try to hurt hi% again!
Miguel $len$hed his #ists together so he ouldnt $ry out! "here as nothing
%ore he $ould do!
.....
Weaver 10
Gabrielle and ?i$toria stood in #ront o# Miguel& ea$h pulling on one o# his ar%s!
/Why dont you $o%e ith us to Cinderellas edding01 asked Gabrielle!
Miguel shook his head #ro% side to side!
/9h& $o%e ith us! Cinderella %ight share so%e o# her good #ortune ith us&
espe$ially i# youre there&1 said ?i$toria!
/4o, 3% not going and thats #inal&1 said Miguel sternly!
/;ut hy&1 the girls asked in unison! Miguel -erked his ar%s #ro% theirs and
alked outside! )e anted to be alone! )e ent and sat in *llas #avorite spot and
a##e$tionately stroked *%ilys headstone!
/8he looks -ust like you& *%ily&1 said Miguel as he tra$ed his #ingers in the
engraving o# her na%e! 8he %ay have stolen your love& but at least 3 $ould see you
henever 3 looked at herCbut no shes gone!1 Miguel $ouldnt stop the tears #ro%
#alling! )is hands shook and his heart #elt s6uee5ed to the point o# bursting! /Whyd you
have to leave %e&1 he yelled into the air& no sobbing! /Whyd she have to leave %e01
Miguel thrust his hands in the dirt and s6uee5ed& then loosened his grip& hun$hed his
shoulders and hung his head! )e lay don prostrate on the ground& ith the to%bstone
tou$hing the top o# his head! )e $losed his eyes& but tears $ontinued to #lo don his
$heeks as the #irst leaves o# autu%n started to #all on hi%& $overing hi% #ro% head to toe!
;ibliography
Gri%%& Wilhe% and Fa$ob Gri%%! Gri%%s )ousehold "ales! "rans! Margaret )unt!
LondonG George ;ell and 8ons& 1884!