No opener (just starting straight in mid-conversation):
Definitely not. The coffee shop had zerosocial energy.
Direct opener (e.g., “You’re cute. I want to get to know you”):
Could have worked. But it wasso quiet in the coffee shop that she might have felt the awkwardness of everyone else staring andwatching such an unusual event taking place.
Challenging opener (e.g., “So... is there more to you than meets the eye?”)
: Totally out of place in the situation, for the same reasons as for the direct opener.Day Game is different from Night Game. At 8:30am on a Monday morning at a quiet coffee shop, I’mnot going to be very sexual. I’m not going to run a high-energy opinion opener.If you’re lost, there is a practical description of each kind of opener in the free chapters that you candownload from the Magic Bullets page. There are a couple of examples of each kind of opener, but of
course it’s the Love Systems Routines Manual Volume 1and Volume 2 that have the exhaustive library
of openers (and routines for every phase until seduction) along with when and how to use each one andwhat to say next.So, I went situational. I casually walked slightly past her table with my coffee and then stopped andlooked at her for a moment.Me: You’re not from LA are you?Her: No... how did you know?Me: You don’t tend to see a lot of people in their home towns reading USA Today. It’s kind of a hotelthing. Unless you just really like small words and big pictures.Her: I’m from New York.Me: Oh, cool, why are you here? [
this is a boring, logical, rapport-seeking question that would not necessarily be ideal at this stage in a nightclub with lots of energy distractions, but worked just fine inthis situation]
Her: Shooting a movie... etc., etc., etc.And then off we went into a
(which I will explain below).During this time, I was also doing something that was opposite from what I’d do during nightclub game.I was deliberately being too quiet. This was only partly because we were in a quiet coffee shop, we’dobviously just met, and I didn’t want to draw a lot of attention to us that might have made her feelawkward or embarrassed. The bigger reason was that I was waiting for her to ask me to repeat myself.That gave me an excuse to sit down with her so she could hear me better.
Do not do this at clubs
.Within another minute, she was asking me what I do for work, where I’ve lived, and so on. She was become attracted.A
is what you’d have in any non-transactional conversation. It’s one where you arefree to talk about whatever you like and to move between conversation subjects. Someone you meet at acocktail party you’re pretty much already in a normal conversation with. But asking someone for thetime or using an opinion opener does not generally get you into a normal conversation. That’s why I