Love Systems Insider
Date: June 2008
A lot of the time we talk about meeting women in bars and clubs. Those are great places to meet largevolumes of beautiful women in one venue. But, Love Systems goes way beyond this.Last Monday morning, for example: 8am. On my way to work. That’s a bit earlier than normal, so I hadtime. And through the window of a coffee shop on the way, I saw a woman who caught my attention.My first inclination was not to bother. I have more women in my life than I know what to do with, andI’m really only interested in meeting the best of the best these days. I notice women who are true “10s”in both looks and personality – so it saves me a lot of time not approaching women who aren’t 10s. Andthis woman, while beautiful, did not look quite like the 10s that populate the clubs I go to.And then I remembered one very obvious thing:
“10s” look like “8s” or “9s” when they wake up.
Anyone who has brought home a beautiful woman and then sees someone who is merely attractive thenext morning will know what I’m talking about. And, no, “beautiful” does not mean “beautiful after tendrinks” – we’re talking about legitimate “10s” here.So, I decided to approach. First, I bought a coffee. This makes me relevant for the environment. A guywandering around a coffee shop talking to people and not buying anything is a bum, a loony, or trying tosell you something. A guy wandering a coffee shop with a cup of coffee and talking to people is acustomer.I made sure not to look at her too much when in line. I want to appear spontaneous. I looked for asecond and noticed that she was reading the USA Today. That’s all I needed.My book, Magic Bullets,introduced the concept of the Emotional Progression Model (since updated to
the all-newLove Systems Triad Model
). You have to go through the same 7 stages, in order, to developa sexual or emotional relationship with a woman. The first of these is
approaching.
So, how to approach? Also from Magic Bullets,there are six basic kinds of openers, for different
situations. If you didn’t know this, you can actually download the chapter on openers for no cost on theMagic Bullets page.This was my quick evaluation:
•
Functional opener (e.g., “do you have the time?”)
: Would have been okay in this situation, butI only use functional openers when nothing else fits.
•
Opinion opener (e.g., “so I have such-and-such of a situation, what’s your opinion?”)
: A low-energy opinion opener like “birthday party” (from the Love Systems Routines Manual Volume 1,
and there are many more in Volume 2as well) could have worked, but I didn’t want to have to
use an opinion opener in a not-particularly-social environment.
•
Situational opener:
•
No opener (just starting straight in mid-conversation):
Definitely not. The coffee shop had zerosocial energy.
•
Direct opener (e.g., “You’re cute. I want to get to know you”):
Could have worked. But it wasso quiet in the coffee shop that she might have felt the awkwardness of everyone else staring andwatching such an unusual event taking place.
•
Challenging opener (e.g., “So... is there more to you than meets the eye?”)
: Totally out of place in the situation, for the same reasons as for the direct opener.Day Game is different from Night Game. At 8:30am on a Monday morning at a quiet coffee shop, I’mnot going to be very sexual. I’m not going to run a high-energy opinion opener.If you’re lost, there is a practical description of each kind of opener in the free chapters that you candownload from the Magic Bullets page. There are a couple of examples of each kind of opener, but of
course it’s the Love Systems Routines Manual Volume 1and Volume 2 that have the exhaustive library
of openers (and routines for every phase until seduction) along with when and how to use each one andwhat to say next.So, I went situational. I casually walked slightly past her table with my coffee and then stopped andlooked at her for a moment.Me: You’re not from LA are you?Her: No... how did you know?Me: You don’t tend to see a lot of people in their home towns reading USA Today. It’s kind of a hotelthing. Unless you just really like small words and big pictures.Her: I’m from New York.Me: Oh, cool, why are you here? [
this is a boring, logical, rapport-seeking question that would not necessarily be ideal at this stage in a nightclub with lots of energy distractions, but worked just fine inthis situation]
Her: Shooting a movie... etc., etc., etc.And then off we went into a
normal conversation
(which I will explain below).During this time, I was also doing something that was opposite from what I’d do during nightclub game.I was deliberately being too quiet. This was only partly because we were in a quiet coffee shop, we’dobviously just met, and I didn’t want to draw a lot of attention to us that might have made her feelawkward or embarrassed. The bigger reason was that I was waiting for her to ask me to repeat myself.That gave me an excuse to sit down with her so she could hear me better.
Do not do this at clubs
.Within another minute, she was asking me what I do for work, where I’ve lived, and so on. She was become attracted.A
normal conversation
is what you’d have in any non-transactional conversation. It’s one where you arefree to talk about whatever you like and to move between conversation subjects. Someone you meet at acocktail party you’re pretty much already in a normal conversation with. But asking someone for thetime or using an opinion opener does not generally get you into a normal conversation. That’s why I
defined the Transitioning phase to get between Approaching and Attraction. A fuller description is alsoavailable in the free download on theMagic Bullets page.
One of the big reasons I don’t tend to meet women during the day is I’m pretty busy. I used to use that asan excuse not to approach women during the day at all. But then I realized that you don’t have to doDayGamefor a long time. I wasn’t going to try to pull her back to my apartment for a quickie. It might haveworked, it might not have, but I have things to do today and so does she and I’m far beyond the point of wanting to sleep with every beautiful woman who wants to sleep with me. (The Savoy of a few yearsago would have been appalled by this statement.)The cool thing aboutDay Game is that it’s like Social Circle Game. Women will always remember you.
They are almost always sober when you meet them, they don’t tend to meet a lot of people in the day, soit’s unusual and memorable. You don’t need a lot of time to make an impression.After about 10 minutes of conversation (which included very brief qualification), I started looking for the“hook” that would let us see each other again. I talked about places to go out in Los Angeles, she asked alot of questions, and I mentioned that some friends and I are going to a special party at a well-known club(sorry, I can’t put the specifics in the LSi) on Tuesday. She immediately offered her number. I told her if we go, that she could come along.And that’s it. There was almost no touching (not appropriate for the time or venue), no high-energygames, no peacocking. She came out the next night, bringing a friend at first, but giving her the signalthat she could go home without her after she became comfortable with me and the idea that we weregoing to have sex that night. I’ve written those kinds of “field reports” dozens of times and I want tokeep this article focused around Day Game.
The success was due to:
1.
I was in position to meet women. I looked good. Some days I leave the house in “whatever”clothes because I’m busy or don’t feel like getting ready or just am not in the mood. Those daysare usually missed opportunities to meet women. Always look and feel your best when you leaveyour house.2. I had time. If you’re constantly rushing around and late for everything, you’re not going to beable to take advantage of opportunities to meet women on the way. I used to be a terribleoffender at this, because I really have a very busy life and am always rushing. But I just got itinto my mind to plan to be 15-30 minutes early for stuff. Sometimes all that means is that I’mexactly on time instead of being late. Sometimes it means that I’m early, but so what? It’s notwasted time – with my Blackberry I can make calls, write stuff, do email, just like I cananywhere. And sometimes, like this morning, it gave me a chance to meet someone new.
3.
Calibrating the approach for the environment. There’s a reasonMagic Bulletshas six types of openers, four types of transitions, and seven attraction switches. That’s 168 uniquecombinations. The Love Systems Routines Manual Volume 1gives a map of what goes with
what and when you want to use different routines, and theRoutines Manual Volume 2buildsupon this even further with hundreds more advanced scripts.
Love Systems Insider: Foolproof Day Game
Meet Women at 8AM with Foolproof Day Game
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