colossal waste of time and money and as such I had no intentions of pursuing a career which was even remotely connected to academics. This was all fine, however the fact remained what was it that I intended to do. This was thehardest part. It took every bit of courage within me to speak out that I want to do‘something’ which guarantees no social security, something in which my future is not certain,in the conventional sense. This is something which I am meant to do, something I amblessed with and something which means a lot to me. I gave every possible argument toconvince my parents and justify my stand. But even the likes of Bill Gates and RabindraNath Tagore could not help me out.I gave up. May be I was not strong enough to follow my convictions, may be I did not have the guts to dare and stand up formyself. Or may be I was not audacious enough to go after my pursuit of happiness at thecost of my parents’. Whatever it may be, I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Idecided to repeat class XII while reading ‘Jonathan Livingstone Seagull’. Ashamed.It was the darkest phase of my life.“You are good for nothing”, the principal at the school said, when I told her, along withothers, that the Chemistry teacher does not teach well. “How can you judge whether ateacher is good or bad? You are a failure for God’s sake”, was the reply I got at my insistence. It was just the beginning. I was made to stay back in the school for studies, whilemy other class mates left for their homes on time. Gradually I was getting used to the factthat I m a failure, after all. Whenever I heard someone laughing around, I presumed it wasme they are laughing at. I was becoming cynical as well!!On the other hand, there was a continuous struggle going on within myself. I had toconstantly push myself, against my will, to study. I tried hard not to think about what I couldhave done, but the harder I tried, it struck me with even more intensity. It was getting worseby the day.