Paper Workshop- Sarah

Direct, concise thesis

First page, third sentence, use of the word however after the semicolon is a harsh contrast
linking the two sentences, maybe use a comma and but
Page one, rst paragraph, sentence seven change loosing to losing
Page one rst paragraph last sentence saying born and raised suggests Wade was born a
violent person, when in fact he was not. Rather he was more of a turtle of a person, if you will,
due to him burying into the couch and such when his father beat him. Perhaps take out born
and
Well-written paper with impressive writing style and diction






































Paper Workshop- Grant

Well-written overall














































Paper Workshop- Abby