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I hate you.
There. I’ve said it.
..your help.
When I said ‘need’, I chewed
off a small piece of my lip.
When I said ‘help’, I vomited.
Consuming it calmed me.
 
Look. Press thisand we will bedone with it.And that being said, I need..A tutorial for Solium Infernum
 
My name is Schenevus.This was my given name, bestowed on me whenmy forebears excreted me into a bowl of pitch.When you Create An Avatar, you see this screen.For now, manipulate the document until you havematched what you see here. This is the way I likethings to be. It is far too early to tax your puerilemind with an explanation of these matters.I prefer my nickname: Fudge. An earthly delight.
 
You have created me.I would thank you were that not certain toflood my eye sockets with effluent.I would dismiss you now if only I could.Start a New Single Player Game and choose the foeswhose sinew I will consume on the night that I jointhe Infernal Conclave at last.

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Michelle LaBarreleft a comment

Whoops -- signed in as my wife. :)

Michelle LaBarreleft a comment

Thanks! Every now and then, I read it again myself, and giggle at my own writing as if it's someone else's.

Annie Jönssonleft a comment

Awesome. This must be the best, funnies guide ive ever read.

aperd1left a comment

a complete guide for a newbie. Best ever