The Search For Myself: Edward & Bella
For what shall it profit a man,if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul.Mark 8:36
Have you ever felt like you were living inside a dream that you couldn'tescape from? Like you were reaching out, trying to find a hole to climbout of, or a crack to slide under... and yet, all you found was morewalls? Have you ever felt like you could be calling out for someone,anyone to help you, but all you heard was the sound of your voice as itechoed and bounced around you? This is how I felt. I was trapped,excluded. Forgotten.I never gave my existence much thought before today. I just
. Astime went by, I accepted this fate. But today -- today was different.I was not prepared. I should have been, but I wasn't. I never evenexpected to find myself in this type of predicament.All I wanted was for someone in this world to notice me for who I am,not for what I was. I wanted one single soul to look at me in my eyesand see a person behind them, not a monster. ...Somehow, deepinside, I never truly thought it would happen. So when it did, it took melike a windfall and knocked me off of my bearings. I couldn't breathe,couldn't move, couldn't think, and most of all, I couldn't process onesingle surrounding. It was uncontrollable."Look at me, Bella!" the beautiful creature shouted at me. I felt hisfirm, warm fingers on my skin, gripping my jaw, shaking my face untilmy eyes found his again. His eyes were a deep green, deep as themeadow we laid in just hours before this. I wanted more than anythingto be back there once again. I began to close my eyes, imagining wewere there. Warm. Alone now, but together.