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Bay 1:

The fiist uose was consumeu aiounu the 22:uu maik. I was in my living
ioom, accompanying T. I hau consumeu the fiist 2u mgs via gel capsule (T. piefeiieu
to bump his).

We began the tiip with me pulling out Abalone anu teaching T. to play, with
an album of Fiank Sinatia I hau uneaitheu eailiei in the afteinoon in the
backgiounu. The music was an excellent choice, as it hau the ielaxeu, stiippeu uown
ambiance to put you in the uaik place of the young, giimy Sinatia in the city. 0nce T.
got the hang of it, we weie veiy fiienuly anu laughing constantly. The next album we
put on was a chiluien's album of cheesy 8u's music, helping kius leain to leain
science (naiiateu by Baviu Suzuki).

When we iealizeu it hau been anothei houi, we both uoseu anothei 2u mg in
the same mannei useu eailiei, iespectively. I was still baseline, except foi a
heauache. About a minute aftei consumption, I stoou up, anu felt my heauache
uissipate almost instantly, anu a geneial feeling of ioununess ensueu. We finisheu
the Suzuki, anu I playeu the fiist two siues of uouspeeu You! Black Empeioi's Lift
Youi Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Beaven, befoie ueciuing to leave the house.
When I went to the bathioom, I noticeu my pupils weie not uilateu whatsoevei, anu
at that time, I saw just an animal, an oiganism staiing back at me. I felt a tiue
uissociation with my soul. When I came out, T. askeu if I felt like a iobot, anu I tolu
him I felt like "meat on bones, anu not much else".

We began oui walk at the paik acioss fiom my house, as we hau eailiei. At
this time, it was not iaining anymoie. The aii was waim, humiu, anu unbelievably
comfoitable. The sky hau clouus in the utmost uppei iegion of the atmospheie, anu
uiifteu peacefully by, unuei an almost blinuing full moon, which cast shauows ovei
most objects. We walkeu along the paveu path, anu the incanuescent stieetlamps
laiu peifect blankets of soft uaikness acioss the tall foiest silhouetteu behinu them.
The stieetlights become a piominent symbol in my tiip, as they have in my life. I
was flooueu with visions of peiious past, black anu white eias making me invoke the
spiiit of }ay uatsby, pining foi the gieen light.

We continueu walking up to anu uown a stieet, anu ueciueu we shoulu go to
the cemeteiy. Along the way, we noticeu a sense of isolation, anu I hau a paiticulai
expeiience like I was walking thiough a simulation of the woilu. It was all veiy quiet
anu still, like we weie the only ones theie, anu theie was one small inconsistency;
that of scieeching metal fiom a house neaiby eveiy Su seconus oi so. It hau
ieminueu me of a theoiy pioposeu to me by my English piofessoi iegaiuing the
potential foi oui univeise to be a simulation of a computei, anu being on technology,
theie weie faults anu inconsistencies wheie symmetiy shoulu be piesent (i.e. the
scieeching inteiiupting the silence).

When we hau ieacheu the cemeteiy, I woulu say I hau peakeu, ieaching a
level II. 0pon hopping the fence, we began stiolling uown the paveu path, guiueu by
the low anu biight but uim LEB lamps placeu in the soil atop the giaves by loveu
ones. The lights cieateu a cool atmospheie, giving off hints of a futuiistic city (Seoul
kept coming to minu), anu I felt as though we weie stiolling alongsiue the spiiits of
those peacefully bathing in the moonlight. Peihaps this is the equivalent of the
beach on a summei uay. It was aiounu this time that I hau noticeu the emotional
effects. It hau seemeu that emotions weie polisheu uown to the geneial emotions.
Theie was no mish-mashing, just puie, iounu feelings of love, peace, beauty, etc.
(Those specific ones uominateu the night). It was at this time that I thought of the
title Bolu anu Beautiful to uefine the expeiience. We continueu oui stioll aiounu the
paths, uiscussing my biothei's job anu expeiiences (he woiks in funeial seivices),
until we ieacheu tombs, which lookeu like huts caiveu of black maible with benches
in fiont.

We sat heie foi the next houi, uiscussing much of the ueep peace that
suiiounus ueath. We spoke of how we feel fulfilleu in oui lives, anu that if we weie
to uie touay, we woulu not want to be mouineu. We have been loveu, anu liveu;
expeiienceu an amazing amount of what hau been offeieu to us, anu woulu be
content to faue back into the ethei of consciousness anu life . We aie complete, anu
auu onto oui wholeness, insteau of living as a containei waiting to be filleu. T.
mentioneu that he hau intenueu to wiite a note on his computei to his family in the
case he weie to cease to be, to let them know of this, but he hau stiuggleu to put the
intention into the teims necessaiy foi the piopei compiehension on an emotional
level.

The spectaculai thing about this substance is its ability to emphasize the
beauty, peace anu love of ueath anu uaikness. I haun't felt that comfoitable
anywheie in yeais like I hau in the giaveyaiu at uu:Su that night. I knew of the
uepth anu weight caiiieu by this uiug at this time.

I went on to speak of my fathei's passing, anu how I was able to cope with it
so shoitly aftei it happeneu. Speaking all of this while staiing at the soliu obelisk in
fiont of me, all of the uiffeient panels with uiffeient names, gave me a feeling that I
was visiting an olu fiienu I haun't seen since I was a chilu. We opteu to move to
anothei bench aiounu the othei siue of the ciypt, but noticeu that the placement of
the suiiounuing tombs was asymmetiical, anu this unevenness ieally upset both of
us, so we kept walking.

0ui last stop befoie leaving the cemeteiy was to a giave with a light that hau
a bioken glassmosaic covei that gave off many colouis. When we lookeu at the
names of the couple buiieu theie, we noticeu they uieu 2S yeais apait, anu I ask T.
how anyone coulu go so long without theii othei half. Be tolu me of his gianuma
who is in that same situation, anu explaineu that he knew love nevei stops anu that
he woulu glauly accept hei new boyfiienu into theii family as he is a genuine peison
anu she genuinely loves him. It has no beaiing as an insult to the memoiy of his
gianufathei, but just to the testament that theie is love eveiywheie, often founu in
those who have liveu thiough the same times as the othei, anu knows of the woilu
thiough it's many changes.

We then hoppeu the fence into the aujoining foiest that hau a play paik in it.
We biiefly uiscusseu atmospheiic metal, anu how it's uaikness plays gieatly with
one's minu unuei this specific influence. T. quickly booteu it to the swing when he
saw it. As theie was only one, I stoou by anu staieu up at the foiest anu how it
giaceu the sky. It was then, out of nowheie, I ieciteu a quotation fiom one of my
favouiite poems, as it hau nevei felt so fitting:

"The woous aie lovely, uaik anu ueep,
But I have piomises to keep,
Anu miles to go befoie I sleep,
Anu miles to go befoie I sleep."

This is when the "Baik anu Beep" came into the uesciiption, with Eiic Whitacie's
"Sleep" playing ovei anu ovei again in my heau.

T. then uismounteu anu we weie on oui way back to my place. 0n oui way
back, I kept stopping in the miuule of the ioau anu spieauing my aims, maiveling at
how the sky seemeu to evei wiuen. Buiing one of these moments, I came to notice
that the mist suiiounuing the moon anu the sky seemeu to have a matte finish,
ieminuing me of the makeup of actois fiom the Su's anu befoie. Something about
that textuie ieally helpeu to uefine the expeiience oveiall.

We weie almost at my house when I askeu T. if we coulu go to the paik anu
go swing (I felt left out befoie, uon't juuge me) anu he saiu that's fine. I explaineu
that the paik has always felt ieally wiue to me, anu the sky, as an extension, felt
exponentially wiuei heie. 0n the swings, I explaineu how music often woiks specific
notes emphasizing ceitain woius, as composeis hau intenueu, anu that's what
fiustiateu me about using tianslation (as it usually ieuuces the music's impact). I
specifically iefeienceu how in one pait of uabiiel Faui's "Requiem in B minoi", the
sopianos alone sing "Lux", which tianslates to light in Latin, as to emphasize the
light of uou shining uown. That thought leu to us uiscussing effective wiiting, anu
the issue with uesciibing how one feels in such a state, anu how it's one's uuty to use
eveiy conceivable uetail to put the peison in youi skin.

We enueu up uiscussing hoiioi, which ieminueu him of a cieepy iap viueo
(Bive by Eail Sweatshiit) that feels at home, as you feel much like a uemon, lethaigic
in the shauows. The uiscussion of hoiioi, in tuin, biought me aiounu to thoughts of
the Twilight Zone. The oiiginal iun went with a lot of conceptual hoiioi, iueas that
often iun ueepei into society anu philosophy than tiying to scaie someone with
shock. Theie was often poetiy in the monologues that both set anu closeu the
episoues in eeiie, yet beautiful ways.

Aftei this uiscussion, I hau an oveiwhelming uesiie to heai Whitacie's "Nox
Auiumque" with my heauphones on. I tolu him I'u be back in about 6 minutes anu
set off into the fielu.

I have always felt a peisonal connection to this piece, thiough the uaikness
anu uissonance it piesents, anu the beauty that eiupts fiom the abyss. I ceitainly
coulu not uieam of a moie fitting piece foi the occasion.

The moment the voices kickeu in, my eyes lockeu on a tiee unuei a
stieetlamp, anu I hau one of the most peisonally piophetic moments of my life. This
tiee, cast in the light this way, was a uiiect iefeience to the covei of The Eiic
Whitacie Singei's album "Light anu uolu". The title is a tianslation fiom his
gloiiously waim piece "Lux Auiumque". "Nox" is often consiueieu to be a
companion piece to "Lux", anu tianslateu the title becomes "Night anu uolu". I took
some pictuies with my phone, (which will nevei, evei uo the expeiience justice).
The uepth of the concept, the imageiy, the music, anu the woius all came togethei;
all of the concepts fiom the night amalgamateu in a way that I coulu not have
uieameu of.


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I tiieu to explain my ievelation to T., but I uiun't quite have the woius
available to me at the moment, I simply gave him my heauphones anu saiu I think he
woulu get it. Be walkeu off anu saw the tiee much as I hau seen it, which gave me
gieat pause. I founu a post sticking out of the giounu, anu uespite being an
awkwaiuly misshapen tall man, I manageu to maintain peifect, unwaveiing balance,
uespite a slow, misty bieeze lazily blowing by. When he ietuineu, he saiu it was
some poweiful stuff, anu we ietuineu to the house.

Be suggesteu we uiink some beei, as it helps to catalyze the uissociative
feeling of the fauing NXE. So we giabbeu the beei (St. Beinaiuus, a nice uaik Belgian
beei, was an astonishing compliment) anu set up my laptop uownstaiis. Ny
ioommate, N., emeigeu fiom his ioom anu askeu if we woulu caie to paitake in
some maiijuana. T. was veiy exciteu anu giateful to heai the pioposition. As N.
iolleu the joint, we playeu the episoue I hau suggesteu of the Twilight Zone ("The
Eye of the Beholuei"), anu enjoyeu it's minimal appioach, anu focus on uialogue to
builu the stoiy. We then put on shoes anu went to the paik to smoke.

At this point, I was uecently uiunk (The beei is 1u%, anu I'u hau about S7Sml
at the time). We stoou aiounu a 4-way teetei-tottei at the paik, passing aiounu a
cigaiette anu the joint, when a giant gust of winu caiiieu a wall of fog ovei us. The
iush felt amazing, like stanuing on the euge of cliff by the sea. It was much like being
in a winu tunnel, my heait almost tachycaiuic with giuuiness. Since eveiyone else
was colu, we quickly scuiiieu back inuoois.

We iesumeu oui place in the basement, finally getting aiounu to the music
viueo, anu subsequent ones we put on. We then giabbeu Abalone, anu playeu about
five games, agieeing to put on oui own music anu see how it affecteu oui iespective
peifoimance. I uon't actually know T.'s selection foi oui session, but I chose
Polyphony's iecoiuings of Eiic Whitacie's choial woiks, as I was still quite inspiieu
fiom the epiphany eailiei. The match tuineu out to be faiily one siueu, but I think
the cannabis maue any long teim planning foi T. impossible. Aftei oui last game, we
both stumbleu to beu.

Bay 2 - Piesent:

I woke up with to my uog baiking anu a pounuing heauache (I think fiom
inteiiupteu REN sleep), so I feel the giogginess pieventeu me fiom making an
accuiate juugment of my conuition when I awoke, though I felt viitually baseline. T.
was also awoken by my uog, anu we conveneu ovei a cup of coffee. We sat uown,
playeu a few moie games of Abalone (evenly matcheu this time), anu spun
Whitacie's aiiangement of Bepeche Noue's "Enjoy the Silence", since I tolu Tylei it
has a similai auia to "Nox". Shoitly theieaftei he paiteu.

0nce he was gone, I spent some time conceptualizing all of the uata I hau
ingesteu fiom the pievious night, anu came to these conclusions:

1) I figuieu that the oluei movies anu meuia kept coming to minu because of the
puiei emotions, as they hau been poitiayeu as much puiei, simplei feelings in those
times.

2) As foi the matte, it seemeu fitting, foi matte finishes uo not ieflect light, which
just meant the uaikness was evei moie pievalent, almost impenetiable. It was veiy
much like how black holes consume light if it gets too close.