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The Stony Brook Press - Volume 28, Issue 4

The Stony Brook Press - Volume 28, Issue 4

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Published by: The Stony Brook Press on Dec 10, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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death egg zone
The Stony Brook Press
431. Head Crabs
2. Tick-borne Pink Eye
3. Acute Dizziness
4. Broken Arm

5. Mummy Jock
6. SIDS (Sudden Infants for a Democratic Society)
7. Quadrophenia
8. Beckzema
9. Rapid Onset Cybernetics
10. Marxism-Leninism
11. Popsicle Dropsy
12. Testicular Jaundice... of the Balls
13. Tightitis
14. The Clenches
15. Constant Female Erections
16. Kilt Dependency
17. Corporate Racism
18. Sebastian the Crab
19. Titty Twisters
20. Sexually Transmitted Pregnancy
21. Sexually Transmitted Scurvy
22. The Christmas Shivers
23. Creeping Peepers

24. Feral Ta peworms
25. Aggravated Throbbing

26. Diarrhea on a Plane
27. DJ Scripples
28. Compulsive Ornithology
29. Caroline's Sense of Humour
30. Perpetual Motion
31. Don Mattingly's Disease
32. Don Mattingly's Mustache
33. Geraldism
34. Bogeys on Your Six
35. Harry Carey Beri Beri
36. Vincent Michael Festering Wounds
37. Statesman Subscription
38. Chronic Jitterbug
39. The Flaming Lips
40. Counter-Reformation
41. Matt Damon!
42. Something About Ronald Reagan
43. The Plague by Albert Camus
44. Gulf War Syndrome
45. Lockjaw... of the Balls
46. Inflamed Chloroplasts
47. Fear of Pop
48. Oatmeal-related Diabetes
49. Alaskan King Crabs
50. Xylophonic Appendicitis... of the Balls

51. Delusions of l33tn3ss
52. Strawberry Gnome Infestation
53. Sticky Fingers
54. Loss of Spider-Sense
55. Metamorphic Muppet-ism
56. Phat Beats
57. Damn Dirty Ape Syndrome
58. John Kruk's Disease
59. Recurrent Wardrobe Malfunction
60. New Order Disorder
61. Leprosy During Urination
62. Cancer of the Clitoris
63. Robo-AIDS
64. Pwnage of the Liver
65. Pronouncing Pwnage With a P
66. Semicolon Cancer
67. Robin Williams
68. Recurring Bacon-Related Dreams
69. Cat Scratch Fever
70. Cow Bell Deficiency Disorder
71. Rugged Masculinity
72. Ebolio
73. Tripping... of the Balls
74. Mouth Breathing
75. Transubstantiation of the Spleen

76. Tupox
77. Ty Cobb's Being An Asshole
78. Congenital Matrimony
79. Conjunction Junctivitis
80. Takin' It To The Limit
81. Vaginal Halitosis
82. Sidecar Butt

83. Te slaphobia

84. Keifer Madness
85. Frosted Skin Flakes
86. Gradual Suddenness
87. Creeping Yeti Hands
88. Creeping Geddy Lee
89. Chronic Unemployment
90. Aaron Burr Flu
91. Iron Manism
92. Irony Induced Deafness
93. Finite Population
94. Rubik's Boob
95. Ill Behavior
96. Lots O' Puss
97. Habeas Corpus
98. Creeping Crabs... of the Balls
99. Dia-Rios

Alex Walsh
Will Give You
99 Diseases...

(But A Bitch Ain\u2019t One)
Top Ten
Things to do
as a Ghost
www.fuck the statesman.com

10Two Words: Dressing Room. 9Mess with that bitch Casper 8

Make friends with every
goth kid on myspace
Stalk that kid from The Sixth Sense
Read The Press over Shirley
Strum Kenny\u2019s shoulder
Piss on people
Make that assjack John Edward look
as dumb as he sounds, fucker.
Give Stony Brook\u2019s Ghost Hunters Society
a purpose! (Other than Ghostbusters)
2\u201cCan you see me now? Good\u201d
Im pregnate a Jewish virgi n

Give me the whip! Look, you got across fine, now it\u2019s my turn. So pass it back. It\u2019s only fair. I scrape a seething mass of tarantulas off your back, you scrape a seething mass off mine.

Hurry up, man, this whole place is coming down. This idol belongs in a museum, and I don\u2019t see a museum on this side of the gaping chasm. What I do see is an almost ridiculously slowly dropping stone door. So unless you\u2019ve got a better idea, I\u2019d send the whip across.

No time to argue. Throw me the idol, I\u2019ll throw you the whip.

Relax, you can trust me. Of course I\u2019ll throw the whip over. Remember that other guy who tried to shoot you? That wasn\u2019t me! I\u2019m the depend- able one. It makes more sense this way. How are you going to swing over while holding the idol? What if you drop it?

All right, I\u2019m glad you finally saw the logic behind my argument.
Thanks for the idol. Hmmm? Whip?
Adios, se\u00f1or.
\u201cGive Me the Whip!\u201d
\u201cThrow Me the Idol!\u201d

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