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Title: Best Short Stories
Author: Various
Release Date: April 20, 2005 [EBook #15667]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEST SHORT STORIES ***
There is a wide difference of opinion, even among the most
discriminating critics, as to what constitutes the point of a good joke.
Aside from varying temperaments, this is largely due to one's experience
with life in general. Or intimate acquaintance with certain phases of
life gives us a subtler appreciation of certain niceties, which would be
lost upon those who have not traveled over that particular path. The
doctor, the lawyer, the family man, and the soldier, each have their
minds sensitized to their own fields of thought. Human nature, however,
works according to universal laws, and a really first-class joke strikes
home to the majority.
The compiler of this collection has had it in mind to get as much
variety as possible, while at the same time to use only such material as
serves to illustrate some easily recognizable human trait.
It is almost needless to say that this book should not be read
continuously. It should be taken in small doses, as it is highly
concentrated.
times."
At this moment the General came up.
"What's all this?" he exclaimed, seeing the poor private about to begin.
The lieutenant explained.
"This ignoramus failed to salute me, and as a punishment, I am making
severe battle.
"I am sorry," said the man, "to see that you have a black eye, Sammy."
Whereupon Sammy retorted:
"You go home and be sorry for your own little boy--he's got two!"
him, the Kaiser came up.
"Hello," said the Kaiser. "Who have we here?"
"I'm an Irishman, your honor."
Then he winked solemnly.
"Oi say," he continued. "We didn't do a thing to you Germans, did we?
Eh, old chap?"
The Kaiser was horrified. Calling an orderly he said to him:
"Take this blasphemer away and put a German uniform on him, and then
bring him back."
Shortly the Irishman was returned, in a full German uniform.
"Well," said the Kaiser, "maybe you feel better now. How is it?"
Pat grabbed him by the arm, and leaning over, whispered:
"Oi say, we gave them Irish Hell, didn't we?"
The wife of a successful young literary man had hired a buxom Dutch girl
to do the housework. Several weeks passed and from seeing her master
constantly about the house, the girl received an erroneous impression.
to say somedings."
"Well, Rena?"
The girl blushed, fumbled with her apron, and then replied, "Vell, you
pay me four tollars a veek--'
"Yes, and I really can't pay you any more."
"It's not dot," responded the girl; "but I be villing to take tree
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