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-Life After Divorce: Choosing A Happy New Year
 The New Year is the proverbial time to make resolutions about ourlives. This year may I suggest that you resolve to make anempowering choice for yourself? Choose to have a Happy New Year.As human beings, the ability to consciously choose is our mostpowerful attribute. Choice is ours and ours alone. Choose to commit toliving this one precious life of yours as a happy person.We have all heard the stories of the wisdom that is revealed at the endof someone’s life. One hears, “ I wish I had not taken things so damnseriously”, “I wish I had laughed with my kids more”, I wish I hadtraveled more”, “I wish I had appreciated the people in my life more”.It is never about the things that they obsessed and worried about butabout the things that bring a smile to their faces: time with friendsand family, a day at the beach, a surprise birthday party, cuddling inbed with our little kids, helping out, laughter, good meals, wonderfulcultural events, loving pets, deep and meaningful conversations…getthe idea?I doubt that on your own deathbed you will say,” I wish I stayed stuckin my pain and resentment.” With free will you can choose how youwant to live the rest of your life. First we choose happiness and thenwe begin to adopt those behaviors that will make us happy andfulfilled. The choice is simple; the commitment to stay true to yourintention is a bit harder.Here are some tips on how to live a happier life:-Stop resisting what is and give up what you think life should looklike. To stand in a fast moving river and attempt to swim againstthe current is both exhausting and painful. One might even dietrying to fight against the natural flow of that river. Swimmingagainst the current keeps you stuck in that one spot. Imaginewhat it would be like to simply stop resisting the river’s flow andgo with it? Not only is it painless, it takes you to new places thatyou never would have seen had you continued your futileattempts to resist reality.Stop resisting the flow of your life’s direction and go with it. Allsorts of new opportunities and possibilities will open up for you, Ipromise.- Stay conscious. Be aware of your attitude and perspective on
 
life as you gothrough your day. Notice how you see things: are you lookingfor what’swrong or for what’s right? Are you always seeking more or areyou content and grateful with what you do have? Are you beingfar too serious? Do you view life as hard and let that permeateeverything you do?Commit to a perspective on life that serves you. What youcommit to takes all your attention. Where we put our attentionwill grow. It is possible to change.-Don’t rely on life’s circumstances to make you happy. Lifechanges all the time. Stuff happens. Just look at your own lifeand you will see that to be true. If you depend on life’scircumstances, like your job, to make you happy you are settingyourself up. Happy is a state of being. It is about your insideand not the outside. If you can only be happy when everything isgoing your way you are in for trouble because that is not the truenature of life. You and not your circumstances determine yourhappiness. That is not to say that you will not be affected by bad thingshappening to you…you will. But you can then choose how youwant to handle the situation so that you can recover and behappy again. Take the case of a powerful CEO. He has identified himself totally with his job circumstances but when his company is takenover and he is let go, he is devastated and lost. Who is he now?One CEO is lost but another rebounds quickly. What is thedifference? Their inner state of being.-Practice gratitude. Notice all that you do have. Look at what isright about life versus everything that you think might be wrong.Keep a gratitude journal.-Let go of fear. Fear is all about the uncertainty of the future andno one can predict or know the future. We don’t have enoughinformation about the future with which to fear or to bepessimistic. Try a perspective that says that everything will workout just fine.-Do things that make you happy. Don’t postpone joy. Make timefor fun and pleasure. Not only does all work and no play make Johnny a boring guy, it also makes him a grump! Go outside andplay. Make a list of the tings that you love to do. Reconnect with
 
your passions. Do it! Exactly what are you waiting for?- Lighten up. The other night I was sitting with my daughter andshe was showing me a video she had made for a friend. Imentioned that the song she was singing wasn’t in her key. Shelooked at me and said, “Jeez Mom, why do you have to takeeverything so seriously?” She was 100% right.- Our time is limited. That just happens to be the truth. We areborn and then we die and what we do in between is called life. You get to choose to have control and power over your life. Youget to choose how you live your life even if life has handed yousome rough spots. Again, its how we handle what life throws ourway that makes all the difference. Don’t wait until you are onyour deathbed to come to this realization.-Each day brings another opportunity to turn things around andchoose anew. Try experiencing each day to it’s fullest.Appreciate the little things like a walk on the beach or a beautifulsunset. That’s what the dying often want…another look at theocean or the stars.-Stop making comparisons. We fall into this habit and it makesus feel rotten. Even the richest man on earth envies someonefor something he thinks he lacks. Perhaps it is his looks or hishealth. Whatever. Comparisons create unhappiness and afeeling of ‘lack of’. If you have to compare yourself to someone,try a person who lives in a shack with AIDS. You have everythingyou need to be happy.-Give up waiting for something to happen. When I get that job,when Iremarry, when I buy that house. Now is where you live. Moreoften than not, when you do get what you think you need to behappy, you still aren’t. Again, its about your inside state of being.-Accept life as it is. The real nature of life is ups and downs,good and bad, joy and sorrow. If you are expecting a ride that isnothing but the good stuff, you’re in the wrong amusement park!Expecting only good from life sets you up for disappointment,resentment and unhappiness. You are a totally unique person who will never be replicated in thehistory of mankind. To the best of my knowledge, you get this onetime around. The truth is that it is all up to you how you choose to live
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Library111

Happy New Year!!! This was awsome, I needed something like that now, we all need it at any time anyway, great writing, well written. chantale

reply12 / 11 / 2009
bookworm0003

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

reply12 / 11 / 2009
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