OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION

FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001

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FACULTY OF EDUCATION AND LANGUAGES
OUMH1303
ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
MAY 2014 SEMESTER
Name: FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI
Matric Number:
NRIC: 820216-14-5828001
Telephone Number: 018-4700551
E-mail Address: amycollection_ayra@yahoo.com
Tutors Name: FADZILLAH BIN FADZIL
Learning Centre:
OPEN UNIVERSITY MALAYSIA
KEDAH LEARNING CENTRE
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Good morning everyone. I am honored to be with you today to share my view on parenting,
thank you for coming along to grace the Opening Day of Brainy Montessori. As a founder of this
institution, i feel extremely glad to see your highly cooperation and support towards us.
Every parent wishes to be the best parent in the world. But when the life turns into reality,
most of the parents fail to remain best parents or at least good parents. How to know if you are
good parents to your children? Is there any easy method to understand if your parenting styles
are proper?
There can't be any specific rules or guidelines for parenting. Parenting is, in fact the
interpersonal relationship between parents and children. The depth, intensity or the methods or
relationship is highly personal and what works between few parents and children may not be the
same for certain parents and children.
There are multiple aspects to be considered to decide how the kids are to be brought up and what
approach parents should adapt to grow up kids in the best way. Yet, behavioral experts suggest
few general aspects and approaches that are generally regarded as the elements of good parenting
and being good parents to children.
All children behave as well as they are treated is one of the good parent quotes said by Jan
Hunt. Lets see how authentic it is in todays scenario.
Raising children is one of the difficult at the same time most rewarding jobs in the world. With a
little patience and accepting a little assistance you can take the right steps on how to be a good
parent. There is no such good parent definition.
Here are a few tips to help you raise your children and also add essential characteristics of a good
parent in you.
Create Family Rituals:
Having special little customs gives you and your child an opportunity to connect, no matter what
else is going on.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Cooking a simple meal together, reading a story every night, planting a garden, playing a favorite
board game -- these are the kinds of rituals that kids love. Be creative: One father I know got into
the habit of "shaving" with his 5-year-old son every morning, giving him foam and a toy razor.
Another gets up early every Friday to take his daughter out to breakfast before they head off to
work and school.
It doesn't really matter what your ritual is, as long as it's something you and your child both
enjoy. It's important that you continue doing it, even when you're frustrated with your child. This
isn't a privilege that you take away as a punishment. It's something sacred that you do, every
night or every week or every month, as a way to connect.
Know Your Child's Personality:
The essence of being a great mom or dad is to really know your child's temperament and to tailor
your parenting style to take that into account. Every kid is different -- even in the same family. If
you understand each child's individual personality, and deal with that child in the way that suits
him best, you'll minimize conflict.
Two simple examples: If you have a very active child, you should avoid roughhousing with him
in the evenings, which makes bedtime difficult. Instead, have him do a quiet activity to help him
calm down. Or maybe you have a child who has a difficult time with transitions. If so, you need
to understand that giving her an advance warning when it's time to leave the playground will
make the shift easier for her. The better you adapt to your child, the less conflict there will be.
*Stanley Turecki, M.D., psychiatrist and author of The Difficult Child
Be A Good Role Model:
Every night, parents should ask themselves, "If my child had only my behavior to learn from
today, what would I have taught him?" Probably the most common mistake moms and dads
make is that we say one thing and do another. We give our children lectures on self-control and
patience, and then explode when we get caught in traffic. We tell them not to gossip, and then
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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turn around and do just that. We urge them to be honest, then let an 11-year-old order from a
menu for kids under 10.
That's not to say parents have to be perfect. But when we fall down on the job, we need kids to
learn from our mistakes. If you lash out at your child when you're feeling stressed out, for
example, you should go back later and say, "I was wrong for yelling at you that way. I should
have stayed calmer. I'm sorry." By doing so, you're teaching your child the importance of respect
and forgiveness. If you're dealing with a challenging situation, you need to let your child see
you're doing your best to cope. When you acknowledge the difficulty ("We're all worried
because Daddy has lost his job, but everything will be okay"), you're showing your child that you
can manage tough times -- and that will help him learn to do the same.
Encourage Exploration:
Kids love to explore; it's an essential part of how they learn. When parents constantly say "Don't
do that" or "Stay away from this," children learn to be timid and fearful of the unknown.
Children who get lots of positive feedback from their parents as they explore new things will go
on to grab life by the horns.
The most important thing you can do is to make sure your child's world is conducive to
exploration. First, childproof your home so that she can roam around without getting hurt. Then
you need to pay attention to your daily routine, and make sure there's always new stuff for her to
explore. Let her bang pots and spoons in the kitchen, and play with blankets made of different
fabrics in the linen closet. Introduce her to a variety of foods. Take her to libraries, parks, zoos,
and art museums. If you encourage your child to be an active explorer as a baby and toddler, she
will embrace learning throughout life.
Set Clear Limits:
Children thrive when they grow up in a home that has structure, limits, and rules. But many
parents make the mistake of projecting their own feelings about rules onto their kids. As adults,
we don't like people telling us what to do, and we think our children will react negatively to
rules. But kids need parents who can impose limits -- and not back down from them.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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I'm not saying to make rules just to prove you're the boss. It's important to set limits for a good
reason and to explain them to your kids in a loving and caring way. But studies show that having
rules and structure makes a child feel safe and secure and teaches self-control and self-reliance.
Be Your Child's Biggest Booster:
The single most important thing you can do for your children is to let them know you're
absolutely crazy about them. Tell them often that they are terrific. Say, "You are the best thing in
my life." Research shows that these kinds of messages make kids resilient and help them deal
with disappointment, rejection, and the other unpleasant stuff that life routinely hands out.
Surprisingly, a lot of children don't know how much their moms and dads appreciate them, and
that's because parents aren't getting the message across. Make a conscious effort to be positive --
even when you're setting limits. Instead of criticizing a kid for fighting with a sibling, for
example, say something like, "I know that's not your best effort. I'm sure you love your brother a
lot more than you're showing him now." That lets your child know you have faith in him, that
you believe in him -- and what can beat that
Make Family Time a Priority:
In recent years, there has been a lot of emphasis on keeping kids challenged -- and busy. When
children are as young as 3 or 4, we sign them up for gym classes, music lessons, sports teams,
and more. We're afraid that our children will fall behind if they don't participate in what
everyone else is doing. So we've become servants to our kids -- driving them here and there,
scheduling our lives around their activities.
I think it's far more important to make family time your biggest priority than to cater to
everybody's individual activities all the time. Eat dinner as a family, even if it means your child
won't be able to make a soccer practice. Kids should carve out time for grandparents and other
relatives too. Children also need lots of downtime when you can all just relax and be together as
a family. Family bonds are an anchor for kids: Their activities will come and go, but family
relationships will last a lifetime.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Express Love and Affection to be a Good Parent
A warm cuddle, some encouragement, appreciation, or sometimes even a smile can do work
wonders in boosting the confidence of your children. Tell them you love them the most being a
good mother. Bestow lots of hugs and few kisses. Love them unconditionally; dont compel them
to become that person who you think they should be just to deserve your love. Convince them
that you will always love them without any expectations. Let them know how special they are
.Express them how much they are important for you.
Respect their Privacy and be a Good Parent
Give space to them as you would want them to respect your privacy; for example, if you tell your
child that your room is out of boundaries to him/her, do the same with his/her room. Let them
feel that once they enter their rooms they can assure that no one will peep through their drawers,
or flip through their diary and never do it, you cannot be a bad parent.
Offer Safety to your Children
Most kids are generally scared when a lightning appears or when they have a horrible dream etc.
some are insecure by nature. Based on your childrens nature, take right steps to feel them
comfortable, it makes a good parent.
Instill a Sense of Liability
Inculcate in them, a sense of belonging by manifesting individual and family photographs or
portraits on the walls to set a good parent example.
Behave Well with your Spouse before your Children
Good parent never argue with their partner in front of the children. Recent divorce rates have
made children feeling insecure when they learned parents bickering. In addition, children will
also pick up the habit of arguing with each other the same way following their parents. Being a
good parent, explain them when people disagree, they can sort out the differences by discussing
peacefully.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Avoid favoritism and be a Good Parent
Surveys say that parents often have favorite kids, but most children expect they are the favorite.
When your children quarrel, dont take sides.
Give up your Vices, become a Good Parent
Gambling, drugs, and alcohol can hinder your childs financial security. Smoking always adds
health hazards to your childs life. Second-hand smoke has been associated with various
respiratory ailments in children. It could also cut down the life span of a parent. Drugs and
alcohol might also become hazardous or pose violence to your childs environment.
Spend Sufficient Time with your Children to be a Good Parent
Your children need your time and attention. Spend time together by playing a game, going for a
walk or reading a book. Be a good parent and take help of your children in cleaning the house or
water the garden. It is a proven fact that bad children demeanor is the outcome of lack of
attention, so spend time with them and make enable them feel responsible.
Being a Good Parent, Reward your Children
All children want to feel they are important part of family. Thats the reason they will always
strive to learn and advance. So, when they do or learn something new or when they behavior
properly, tell them how magnificent that new thing was and how proud you are of them. But
dont forget to tell them to learn new things and more often playing a good parent.
Keep a Schedule for your Children
Children need to follow a schedule every day. It will enable them become disciplined individuals
and you a good parent. For instance you can ensure entire family eats at particular time every
day, if possible. You can ask them to go to bed same time every day except, a few days like
Saturdays or Fridays. Ask your children clean their teeth when they wake up and before going to
bed.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Listen to your Children
Children always want to express something. They appear to have a personal opinion about
everything and at the same time they are very inquisitive. Good parent would always listen to
them. Sometimes they will ask tough questions that may surprise you. Take time to discuss with
them and offer them simple and practical answers.
Avoid Criticism by Focusing on the Behavior
When your child acts in a harmful manner, being a good parent explain him/her that such
behavior is intolerable and advise properly. They must know what they did wrong and why it
was wrong, so be a good parent, take time to explain to them. Criticize the behavior, not the
person. It makes a good parent. Be assertive still gentle when pointing out what they have not
done right. Avoid public criticism or humiliation. If they publicly misbehave, take them aside,
and warn them privately.
Be a Role Model and Good Parent
Model the good parent behavior and character you expect your children should adopt and abide
by the rules you set.Children tend to become what they witness and hear.
Dont Spank your Children
Number of parents, when frustrated, spank their children. Spanking introduces nothing except
fear. If you feel frustrated or annoyed take a break. If you cant control yourself how you can
make your children have self control and discipline?
Dont Compare your Children
Never ever compare your children to others, specifically siblings. Each child is unique and
personal. Enjoy their differences and inculcate in each child the desire to pursue their dreams.
Failure may give your child an inferiority complex. Teach your children that its okay for them
to be unique and they dont need to follow all others. Teach them right from wrong when at early
age, and they will be able to make their own decisions.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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Enable them Experience Life being a Good Parent
Dont make decisions on their behalf every time. They must learn how to live with the
circumstances from the decisions they make. They must know that their actions have results
good and bad. It enables them in becoming good decision makers and will be ready for
independence and adulthood. You must explain to them options, and the consequences of each
option, then live with whatever option they select.
Realistic Expectations
You must know your own requirements and limitations being a good parent: You should realize
you cannot be a perfect parent, but a good parent.
You are having your strong points and weaknesses. If you have practical expectations from your
child, the same should apply on you and your spouse also.
Being a parent is tough. Most of us feel like we could do a better job, but resolving to be more
patient rarely works. That's because sometimes the first step to being a better parent is actually
about how we treat ourselves. We can only give what we have inside. And if we can't manage
Lastly, I would like to share a good phrase with all of you. Attitude decides your altitude. Yes,
attitude decides your altitude. Thank you. Best wishes to you and your children.
OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION
FARRAH NORASHIKIN BT JUHARI 820216-14-5828001
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REFERENCE:
*Craig T. Ramey, Ph.D., director of the Georgetown University Center on Health and Education and coauthor of Right From Birth: Building
Your Child's Foundation for Life
*Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., clinical professor at the Yale Child Study Center and School of Medicine, and author of Me, Myself, and I: How Children
Build Their Sense of Self
*Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., author of The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting
*Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of Don't Give Me That Attitude!
*Stanley Turecki, M.D., psychiatrist and author of The Difficult Child
*William J. Doherty, Ph.D., professor of family and social science at the University of Minnesota, in St. Paul, and author of Take Back Your
Kids