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THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
EDITED BY MARSHALL P. WILDER
Volume VI
Funk & Wagnalls Company
New York and London
Copyright MDCCCCVII, BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
Copyright MDCCCCXI, THE THWING COMPANY
CONTENTS
PAGE
Abou Ben Butler
John Paul
1167
Advertiser, The
Eugene Field
1101
After the Funeral
James M. Bailey
1146
Apostasy of William Dodge, The
Stanley Waterloo
1084
Ballad of Grizzly Gulch, The
Wallace Irwin
1073
Banty Tim
John Hay
1173
Bear Story, The
James Whitcomb Riley
1047
Book-Canvasser, The
Anonymous
1113
Bully Boat and a Brag Captain, A
Sol Smith
1208
Bumblebeaver, The
Kenyon Cox
1145
Casey at the Bat
Ernest Lawrence Thayer 1148
Chad's Story of the Goose
F. Hopkinson Smith
993
Colonel Carter's Story of the Postmaster
F. Hopkinson Smith
1052
Comic Miseries
John G. Saxe
1121
Coquette, The
John G. Saxe
1127
De Gradual Commence
Wallace Bruce Amsbary 1164
Evening
Oliver Wendell Holmes 1175
Fairport Art Museum, The
Octave Thanet
1062
Famous Mulligan Ball, The
Frank L. Stanton
1103
Genial Idiot Discusses the Music Cure, The John Kendrick Bangs
1105
Grains of Truth
Bill Nye
985
THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
1
Her Valentine
Richard Hovey
1117
It Pays to be Happy
Tom Masson
1170
James and Reginald
Eugene Field
1171
Jones
Lloyd Osbourne
1007
Latter-Day Warnings
Oliver Wendell Holmes 1168
Lost Chords
Eugene Field
1080
Love Sonnets of an Office Boy
S.E. Kiser
1056
Martyrdom of Mr. Stevens, The
Herbert Quick
1151
Merchant and the Book-Agent, The
Anonymous
1124
Modern Farmer, The
Jack Appleton
1083
Mosquito, The
William Cullen Bryant
1199
Mr. Dooley on the Game of Football
Finley Peter Dunne
1059
My First Cigar
Robert J. Burdette
1204
My Philosofy
James Whitcomb Riley
1076
Octopussycat, The
Kenyon Cox
1112
Old Settler, The
Ed. Mott
1177
Owl-Critic, The
James T. Fields
1196
Paintermine, The
Kenyon Cox
1100
Shonny Schwartz
Charles Follen Adams
1206
Society Upon the Stanislaus, The
Bret Harte
1078
So Wags the World
Anne Warner
1092
Spring Feeling, A
Bliss Carman
1129
Talking Horse, The
John T. McIntyre
1185
Thompson Street Poker Club, The
Henry Guy Carleton
1140
Thoughts fer the Discuraged Farmer
James Whitcomb Riley
1081
"Tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-bum! bum!"
Wilbur D. Nesbit
1202
Unconscious Humor
J.K. Wetherell
998
Up and Down Old Brandywine
James Whitcomb Riley
1003
Verre Definite
Wallace Bruce Amsbary 1183
Wasted Opportunities
Roy Farrell Greene
1132
Weddin', The
Jennie Betts Hartswick
1134
Welsh Rabbittern, The
Kenyon Cox
1120
When the Allegash Drive Goes Through
Holman F. Day
1214
The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI, edited by Marshall P. Wilder.
CONTENTS
2
Wild Boarder, The
Kenyon Cox
1163
COMPLETE INDEX AT THE END OF VOLUME X.
[Pg 985]
GRAINS OF TRUTH
BY BILL NYE

A young friend has written to me as follows: "Could you tell me something of the location of the porcelain
works in S\u00e8vres, France, and what the process is of making those beautiful things which come from there?
How is the name of the town pronounced? Can you tell me anything of the history of Mme. Pompadour? Who
was the Dauphin? Did you learn anything of Louis XV whilst in France? What are your literary habits?"

It is with a great, bounding joy that I impart the desired information. S\u00e8vres is a small village just outside of St. Cloud (pronounced San Cloo). It is given up to the manufacture of porcelain. You go to St. Cloud by rail or river, and then drive over to S\u00e8vres by diligence or voiture. Some go one way and some go the other. I rode up on the Seine, aboard of a little, noiseless, low-pressure steamer about the size of a sewing machine. It was called the Silvoo Play, I think.

The fare was thirty centimes\u2014or, say, three cents. After paying my fare and finding that I still had money left,
I lunched at St. Cloud in the open air at a trifling expense. I then took a bottle of milk from my pocket and
quenched my thirst. Traveling through France one finds that the water is especially bad, tasting of the
Dauphin[Pg 986] at times, and dangerous in the extreme. I advise those, therefore, who wish to be well whilst
doing the Continent, to carry, especially in France, as I did, a large, thick-set bottle of milk, or kumiss, with
which to take the wire edge off one's whistle whilst being yanked through the Louvre.

St. Cloud is seven miles west of the center of Paris and almost ten miles by rail on the road to
Versailles\ue000pronounced Vairsi. St. Cloud belongs to the canton of S\u00e8vres and the arrondissement of
Versailles. An arrondissement is not anything reprehensible. It is all right. You, yourself, could belong to an
arrondissement if you lived in France.

St. Cloud is on the beautiful hill slope, looking down the valley of the Seine, with Paris in the distance. It is
peaceful and quiet and beautiful. Everything is peaceful in Paris when there is no revolution on the carpet. The
steam cars run safely and do not make so much noise as ours do. The steam whistle does not have such a hold
on people as it does here. The adjutant-general at the depot blows a little tin bugle, the admiral of the train
returns the salute, the adjutant-general says "Allons!" and the train starts off like a somewhat leisurely young
man who is going to the depot to meet his wife's mother.

One does not realize what a Fourth of July racket we live in and employ in our business till he has been the
guest of a monarchy of Europe, between whose toes the timothy and clover have sprung up to a great height.
And yet it is a pleasing change, and I shall be glad when we as a republic have passed the blow-hard period,
laid aside the ear-splitting steam whistle, settled down to good, permanent institutions, and taken on the
restful, soothful, Boston air which comes with time and the quiet self-congratulation that one is born in a
Bible land[Pg 987] and with Gospel privileges, and where the right to worship in a strictly high-church
manner is open to all.

The Palace of St. Cloud was once the residence of Napoleon I in summer-time. He used to go out there for the
heated term, and folding his arms across his stomach, have thought after thought regarding the future of
The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI, edited by Marshall P. Wilder.
COMPLETE INDEX AT THE END OF VOLUME X.
3
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