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On Re~ationship 4

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O~ufemi Fas,anya +234(0)8037257479 re~ationshipmatters@glmai~~co!ml

Dear Reader,

Introduction

All of thequotes here ~re extracts fr~ri1 the write ups I have written for media organizations here In Nigeria; they are all from me.

I have a desi re that I wish you can support me to fu Ifi II; that desire is to get this e-book into the hands of over one million singles all over the world. I have a burden to see relationships lead to successful ma rriages, and I do bel ieve that th is e-book filled with quotes will inspire sing les to critically look into their relationships before taking it to the next level- marriage .. or even before g~ttlng into inti mate relationships,

You have my permission to download and pass this e-book to as many singles that you know (there are people that only you can reach with th is e-book).

Stay bless

.Olufemi Fasanya www.relationship-singl.es. blogspot.co.m

• 70% of those opting out of their ma rriage saw that th ings weren't right when they were singles but assumed that their partners will change. So one of the la mentable statement that I have read in divorce columns is, 'I thought he will change after m.arriage.'

• Many have gotten married with a mental image of beauty and the beast story, believing that a' kiss will turn a beastly man into a' prince; experience soon taught th'em however that the reverse was the case, the beast remained a beast, In rea'i life scenario, a kiss after saylnq I do, never turns an irresponsible fellow into a responsible one.

• Only an unwise single believe that she can nurse a' man who is not responsible to health.

'. Marri,age don't change people, it amplifies who they are.

• Men are designed to hunt for the kind of women that appeals ~o them; if any lady appeals to his senses, he will seek for ways to woo her. If you want to scare awav any man, you go chasing him. He will run for his dear life.

• True love goes beyond being crazy about someone like the storyline and song you watch and listen to; it has more to do with how much you know.

'. Every single need to learn how to love: loving is not natural with, humans.

• Give any thing time, it'll reveal it's true color; you are th'en to decide if you want to be blind or not, Love is blind;

• Marri,age really does not bring fulfillment; what does that is accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord of your life, and fulflllinq God's purpose for your creation'.

• Two people in love, but heading nowhere, are doomed to a life of misery together.

• Relationship was created to fulfill a purpose, not because man was lonely.

• It is so easy to be emotionally attached to the opposite sex, and the only thing you have in common is that feeling. Yet one area in deterrnininq the. future of any relationship is the path that you both are walking in'.

'. If you have not discover.ed your purpose; do not get into an intimate relationship with anyone, Jesus said, the blind cannot lead th'e blind.

• We all are selfish by nature: we believe that if we find the love of our lives', we will treat that person' better than we treat those around us. However, reality has r.evealed itself to many of those married that no one can truly treat you better than' the way he/she treats others; how you treat people reveals your true nature.

• The wa'y you treat people is the wa'y you will eventually treat the person you get involve intirnatelv relationship.

• I believe that we are designed to live in a consistent manner; a selfish person will not become a selfless one in a relationship for too lonq,

• To love requires that you seek knowledge and not assume that you know it all.

• One of the content of true love is that it doesn't make mathematical calculations; true love isn't 50/50 or 80/20 expectation of the love feeling and responsibilities, rather it is 100/100.

• Love really carries an absolute figure which is 100/100; it implies' that you are expected to do the right things irrespective of the behavior of your partner.

• True love doesn't hide things·, it comes out clean with what the other party needs to know before. marriage. It is not ashamed to talk about the past, the chances that the person has made, and the hope of the future.

• No one wants to marry a crazy person, which explains the reason why many of the relationships that one partner is crazy about the other does not lead to rnarrlaqe or a successfu lone.

• The emotion people call love is not strong enough to build successful rnarrlaqe on.

• People who fall get up with pains in their body. So also people who fall in love get up with a broken heart, unforgiveness, sometimes with psychosis, and suicide tendency.

• When you heart keeps skipping a beat when you meet a person, you are not far from a heart attack. Medically, it's dangerous for the human heart to kee"p skippinq beats and over working its self.

• When a female sinqle seek my counsel on the issue of her relationship; I tell her to go ask "Iover boy' when he intends settling down. Most female slnqles assume that, the guy they are datinq have the 'same time table like they have. They assume that the man will one day wake up and decide that it's time to get married. This doesn't often happen, especially when the guys they are dating are already sexually involved with, them or when th'e relationship has taken so long a time.

• The best thing to do after heartbreak is to do a truthful study of the broken relationship; what did you do wrong, and make amendments to it before getting into another. Do not make the mistake of polntlnq an accusing finger on the other party alone: do not forget that your other four fingers points back at you.

• If any man/woman let go of a relationship, he/she has only given' the other person the opportunlty to find someone better,

• The mind can be a burial ground for anything 'you want buried if' you really want to. If you don't allow your mind to work as a cemetery for that relationship, you Will never get into another relationship that will lead to a successful rnarriaqe. Bury that person and move on with your life, don't pray that he/she come back, it is usually a waste of your valuable time.

• Why did you go into the relationship you are in in the past?

Why did it fail? Why are you in the relationship you are in now? Unanswered questions is one of the reasons for history repeating its self. Think on this

.• I feel before a single should consider anyone for relationship, he/she should spend time to really see.k the mind of his/her Ma ker on the issue, it's terrible to ma ke decisions in life out of emotions or logical deduction alone.

• Love the LORD with ALL of your heart, love anyone else AS yourself; this is the secret of not having your heart broken.

• God only knows the future; it's important that you consult Him before you take steps in .serious issues of life such as relationship.

• I believe that when it comes to heart matters, a person should be guided by established lnstructions and not by feelinqs because of the deceptive. tendency of the human nature,

• Money ls the catalyst of love.

• You probably have heard the saying, money can buy you drugs but can't buy you health: money can buy you a house but not a home, etc. This ls a nice 'saying, and full of facts; however, imagine what will happen if you have malaria and you don't have a hundred naira to buy the dose that will cure you. You will soon join the millions of people who die of this disease yearly in' Africa. Imagine if you have beautiful and lovely children but can't afford to rent an apartment and you and your family can only live under the bridge; you know what a lovely family that will turn out to be.

'. Adam was made. to exercise his productive. ability before his 'toasting' ability.

• Love is more of a' character thing than an emotional one; feellnq is not stable, so care must be taken not to make a choice of partner based on it.

• You will not find a' diamond without a flaw; if you find one without it, you have been given an imitation.

• If you are giving a piece of diamond and an imitation and you do not know how to tell the difference, you will likely pick the fake. The original diamond always comes with a' flaw; it is never perfect Ii ke the imitation. If you ever want to make the right choice of a partner, you must learn to appreciate people beyond the. looks they carry. You must learn t.o view beauty from the heart a' person carries than the looks they have alone.

• The beautiful ones are already here, while the perfect one will never walk the earth.

• I love saying to singles that when it comes to making the decision on who ~o get into relationship with, they should be very selfish because when a relationship is taken to the stage of marriage, selflessness is required to make it succeed.

.• For you to enjoy the relationship that you will be involve in, requires that the decision be made with one objective- your happiness.

• I once responded to a question in a social network that I am a member on the internet: a lady asked if it is right to get into relationship out of pity? My response was, date him out of pity; marry him out of pity and live in pity all through your life.

• When it comes to the issue of your marital future, care should be taken not to make decisions that will have a life time negative effect on you and others, Havinq a feeling that the man/woman is the perfect one, may just be a conclusion th'at you will regret after rnarrlaqe,

• I have come to realize th'at motive determines motivation, while motivation determines motion. If the motive for doing a thing is wrong it will eventually impede its motion.

• If you really desire to have a successful rnarriaqe in future, there is a need to be practical, open minded and wise in the kind of person that you date and chose to eventually

marry.

• I have met singles who are too smart for their own good; they carry an air of I know what I want, and I don't need other people's opinion on the issues of my relationship.

• Believe me; if the person that you are dating is not faithful to God, you are involve with a potential unfaithful partner.

.• I feel that any change that will be lasting should come from making a commitment to the Lord (Jesus) as savior of your soul. From my Christian perspective; it's the sure foundational step to developing a successful relationship.

• If you are in a relationship that you believe that the 'Spirit' led you into, but you do riot have any iota of love feelings for the person even after you have being in the relationship for quite a while, my advise is that you quit the relationship.

• Love often blinds women to the flaws of the man they are interested in', but sexual intercourse binds the men" to partners that they often regret getting involved with.

• Men of a kind, flock together.

• You cannot rnalntaln a life that you have not been' living when you are married.

'. Beauty is tied to appreciation than outward appearance,

• If you can get the attention of a woman's ears, you can win her heart.

• Wh"at I have observed is that fear causes a vicious cycle of event when it is misdirected. Fear that is constructive will guide from rnakinq the mistake of the past by been knowledgeable; destructive kind of fear judge people as the same from the experience they had gone through without giving the new lover the opportunltv to prove himself to be different.

• How will you know if the person you are in relationship with really loves you? Just check out the. way he treats people around him.

'. Excessiveness in anvthinq is not healthy; excessive loving, caring, protecting, jealousy, etc are. signs of someone that does not feel secure in the relationship.

'. Always let your partner have a breathing space; do not monitor or hunt him' around town. Never make your partner feel he is been caged, he will look for ways of escape,

• Every single should have the understanding that the way to the heart of your partner is not through their sexual organ.

• It is the women that play impossible to get in the area of sex that often keep their relationship to the point of marriage and till death do them part afterwards.

• What is inside your panties is called private part, if you make it a public part, the public will abuse it and abuse you. The public includes the love of your life, until the day you both say 'I do. f

• A man will profess his undyinq love to a lady; like the emotional movies, he will kneel to say how much she meant to him. He will cherish her as lo·ng as he has not killed his prey (had sex with her): then he will demand for the means, the lady should show her love for him- that in

most cases is for her to have sex with him. He will beg, coax, and even try to manipulate her to qettlnq what he wants. If a' lady ever falls for this, she had lost over 510/0 chance that he will get married to her.

.• If you read a sound book on relationship, ·you will note that abstinence from premarital sex i~ advocated with a passion on it; break the rule, you will end up breaking your life.

• Never allow any man go in between your legs until after he has said 'I do. r

• Women can be vengeful. Hurt one real bad; pray for your dear life.

.• I am of the opinion that if a relationship will succeed, both parties must come out with any skeleton in their cupboard.

• The person that you are dating presently should be seen' as a new individual, and should be separated from' the past; the essence of the past is to learn from its mistake and not to live in them.

• Life is like a classroom; the past is one of the classes you have to pass its examine to move to the next class. If all you hold on to is the painful experience instead of the lesson, you will keep repeating the mistakes over and over

•

again'.

• I feel that singles should get rid of the mindset that brands everyone in the opposite sex as the same; all men' are the same, is a bogus .staternent.

• I believe women especially should get rid of the mindset that in-laws are bad; I feel this mindset is the beginning of the 'end of any relationship,

'. Never ignore the flaws that you see your partner have.

• Singles should put it at the back of their mind that rnarriaqe is a life time commitment to an imperfect person.

'. If you know how your parents effectively relates with one another and you apply this wisdom' into your relationship, it will succeed.

• Marri,age is not a bed of roses as it is painted in films and novels: your parents! rnarrlaqe shows the reality of what

• However good the reason' one may give for wanting to rush' into rnarrlaqe, it will never be a tenable excuse.

.• If you want to have a successful relationship that will end in a lasting and happy marriage, you'll need ~o dump some of the trash that you read and watch (romantic and pornoqraphic films, books and magazines). You'll need to overhaul your mindset, by renewing it with healthy and balanced information.

.• If you ever hear a motivational speaker talk about succeeding without been educated; don't be gullible to accept his words hook line and sinker. It's true that you can be financially successful without been in the wall of any tertiary institution; however, been educated has a way of giving you a healthy way of seeing things.

.• Disorderliness is the reason for most of the heartbreaks singles have qone through in the past; the time they ought to spend developing themselves academically is spent on running after the opposite sex or falling in love with the opposite sex.

• Who do you think should be blamed for people who are not married at 40; God, the devil or the person? Who will you blame if you get to the aqe of 40, broke, still single and searching?

'. If you see a man cry and beg when there are challenges' in' your relationship, you may call it love, but it really is not, Crying and begging is good for romantic films, but in real life events men' ought to comport themselves.

• It is not love when a man hits another man because of you; it is not love when a' man stays with you 24/7 instead of going to get a job or work; it is not love when a man keeps getting anqrv when he sees you relating with the opposite sex, etc. It shows there is a problem.

• I counseled a male single once; his complain was that the ladies he had loved in the past left him for other men despite the affections he showered on them. I responded by saying that, he deserve what he got. I told him, he was designed to act as a man instead of been sissy. No woman should stay with a ma-n' like that.

• When you meet a man that is just to fine, smooth and is a ladies man, you should think twice about getting involve with· him intimately. You will not be Ms Lucky for long if you go into relationship with him'; men· like that never stick too long with any lady.

'. The best way to know a' responsible fellow is to observe the way he treats his own family and people. around.

• I have heard people say, that one should not give. allow a third party in their marria·ge. I feel that this statement is not right; we a·1I need someone who can reprimand us, whether we are single or ma·rried.

• If a man does not. have that coverinq in his life, he is not someon·e that will make a good hubby.

• The company we keep is a reflection of who we really are,

• It will be frustrating living with a man that is not your opposite.

• If you meet a man who talks too much; repeats events over and over again, I will implore you not to take the relationship to the level of marriage. It is horrifying to see a man just keep repeating himself on issues he should just express his mind on once.

• If you ever meet a lady who can .say anything just as they are, you have found disaster that is about to happen.

• You need to know how a man thinks; men do not go for women who they feel are smarter than them. They want to retain the loqlc power (decision making power) in the home; if a wise woman wants to relate with her man, she will get through to him by making him feel that the wonderful thoughts/ideas came from him .. Once a man feels like king (the one in control), he will do almost anything for his woman, That includes takinq the relationship t.o the next level- marriage.

'. If a lady undermines the authority of the man sh'e is dating, he will likely leave her for another woman who is wise. enough to say 'yes sir. f

• If the man you are interested in ask questions relating to your past in' relation" to the opposite sex, answer th'e question discreetly. I do not encourage lying, I however, do not encourage stupidity.

.• Men feel that the women they are dating was primary their decision; they believe that they are the don who got what they want. The one who won the battle against other suitors that were interested in their ladies. That my friend (to the men) is a joke.

• The reality is that women like most smart preys, stoke their hunters until if care is not taken on their part (the hunter), gain the upper hand against them. Lions are. known to kill men who hurt them; they are not just savage beast, they are quite intelligent too.

• Some men feel that they can just walk into a woman's life; sleep with her and assume that that is all between them. The day a man sleeps with a lady, he should know that he is actually having sex with a lady who wants to tie him down. Sexual intercourse is more than fun to women'; it is actually the giving out o'f her body and soul. Once she gives that out, she expects to keep whoever she gave it to.

• In the war of who will keep a lady arnonqst the suitors available; the one who will win her heart is not the one who can only write and speak Shakespeare. The one who will likely win will be th'e bold, daring and economically comfortable person amongst them'.