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Unless we're talking about my Barbies. They used to capture my brother's GI Joe, tie himup & then take his stuff.-Karen Laakey'know, when everyone's wearing black, you really have to look before you randomlygrab someone's butt.-Karen LaakeBlack's Law Dictionary defines "pro se" as "Appearing for oneself, as in the case of onewho does not retain a lawyer and appears for himself in court." Judges define "pro se" as"idiot."-Jay Laefer The next new episode of Star Trek: Voyager will involve a "space carnivore" that "eatsspaceships."-Jay Laefer The policy is no eating, not no food.-Jay Laefer Usenet may not be an infinite number of monkeys sitting at keyboards trying to createShakespeare, but it's the closest thing we've got.-Jay Laefer  Naturally, prosecutors pick up a lot of criminal vocabulary, especially in the drug trade,where criminal words for things are the only words there are; you can say, "He washolding a deck," or you can say, "He was holding a glassine envelope of a white powderysubstance . . . alleged and believed to be heroin." Crack isn't usually packaged in vialsanymore but in miniature heat-sealed plastic bags, which the dealers call "slabs." Theofficial and legal term for them is "slabs" as well. To make a rule of this kind of exception would lead to indictments that read, "To wit, defendant did possess one mad fatrock of yayo."-Marcus LaffeyAny girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.-Hedy Lamar 
 
There was a fever over the land. A fever of disgrace, of indignity, of hunger. We had ademocracy, yes, but it was torn by elements within. There was, above all, fear. Fear of today, fear of tomorrow, fear of our neighbors, fear of ourselves. Only when youunderstand that can you understand what Hitler meant to us. Because he said to us: 'Liftup your heads! Be proud to be German! There are devils among us. Communists,Liberals, Jews, Gypsies! Once the devils will be destroyed, your miseries will bedestroyed.' It was the old, old story of the sacrifical lamb. What about us, who knew better? We who knew the words were lies and worse than lies? Why did we sit silent?Why did we participate? Because we loved our country! What difference does it make if a few political extremists lose their rights? What difference does it make if a few racialminorities lose their rights? It is only a passing phase. It is only a stage we are goingthrough. It will be discarded sooner or later. 'The country is in danger.' We will 'marchout of the shadows.' 'We will go forward.' And history tells you how well we succeeded!We succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. The very elements of hate and power aboutHitler that mesmerized Germany, mesmerized the world! We found ourselves withsudden powerful allies. Things that had been denied us as a democracy were open to usnow. The world said go ahead, take it! Take Sudetenland, take the Rhineland -remilitarize it - take all of Austria, take it! We marched forward, the danger passed. Andthen one day, we looked around and found we were in even more terrible danger. Therites began in this courtroom, swept over our land like a raging, roaring disease! Whatwas going to be a passing phase became a way of life.-Burt Lancaster as Ernst Janning in Judgment at NurembergOne person can make a very big difference. Most of the time, in fact, that's the only wayvery big differences ever get made.-Rob LandleyBy the way, if you ever consider getting involved in any area that requires knowledge of the symmetry of solids: just do yourself a favor and start flipping burgers.-Greg LandrumI've had bowls of spaghetti that were more tightly structured than this argument.-Anthony LaneWell in my opinion a battle never works according to plan. The plan is only a common base for changes. It's very important that everyone should know the plan, so you canchange it easily... the modern battle is very fluid, and you have to make your decisionsvery fast -- and mostly not according to plan. But at least everybody knows where you'recoming from, and where you're going to, more or less.-Gen Dan Laner, Israeli Defense forces commander, Golan Heights, 1973It was bad. It was kissing-your-sister bad.-Kenard Lang
 
Wall Street pays a lot of attention to the Internet, but the Internet doesn't pay muchattention to Wall Street.-Larry LangI need to have some useful applications on there to suppress my nagging concience into believing I didn't just buy this machine to play Doom on.-Mark LangIf anyone had told me back then that getting back to embarrassingly primitive UNIXwould be the great hope and investment obsession of the year 2008, merely because it'sname was changed to LINUX and its source code was opened up again, I never wouldhave had the stomach or the heart to continue in computer science.-Jaron Lanier goddammit, how come the only time i get quotefiled is when i mention penises?-Len Lanphar i wish my intestines were multithreaded-Len Lanphar If i kill my officemate, can one of you come to court and say I was in Cleveland or something at the time it happened?-Len Lanphar They should start bundling Clue with the linux kernel.-Len Lanphar I meet women who use punctuation all the time. Perhaps you're hanging around in thewrong places.-Nat LanzaI'm not carrying another goddamn body for you. Find someone else to carry it to thatsecret hole behind your fireplace.-Nat LanzaIraq moves troops close to Syrian border and announces it is a military exercise. The U.S.moves Patriot missle outfit to Israel with some troops and announces it is a militaryexercise. My trainer told me that sometimes you can overdo the exercising.-Fred Lapides
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