A Ninth Step Amends to a Little Boy Lost
(The events leading up to it and my first clean and sober outing away from home)Part One
I will strive to forgive rather than to be forgiven!
What does making an amends mean tome? Making an amends gives me the opportunity to look at my part, my behavior, my actions,and my words. How have I hurt people that have crossed my path over the years? Why did I notcare? Making an amends gives me the opportunity to admit when I have acted poorly and givesme a chance to say, “I am truly sorry”, without any expectations. Not to ask for forgiveness, butthe chance to make things right in the eyes of the people who I may have wronged. I say mayhave because there might be times that I have blown things out of proportion and carried hurts inmy heart for a lifetime when the other party involved had forgotten about it long ago. I will dowhatever is asked of me to make it right. I will do this with willingness in my heart that I acquireas I strive to be the daughter that my Father in Heaven wishes me to be.
It so happens that I am 35,000 feet up in the air on a Delta Airlines flight
headed for Delaware. I am above the clouds, which are puffy and white. The sky looks rather dark todaylike there is a storm on the way. I am on my way to see my close friend Antonio whom has madeit possible for me accomplish the VERY First amends on my ninth step, and in my eyes longoverdue, although I was incapable of it before now. Without Antonio's help I would have beenunable to afford the cost of this trip. The name that is at the very top of my eighth step list (Step8 reads: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to themall) is that of my second son Isaiah. The need to do this amends face to face is great. I have anoverwhelming feeling that my chance at a lifetime of sobriety will be greatly increased once Icomplete my ninth step. I will have a large amount of guilt and shame that has been left behind