Corner

Mr. Pettigrew’s

Robert Allen
Nothing has Changed since MLK, Jr.
Preface No. 1
“Well that appears to me to be a kind of socialism for the
rich and rugged hard individualistic capitalism for the poor.”
Excerpt, in response to a question from the audience, from MLK,
Jr.’s “The Other America” speech at Grosse Pointe High School,
Michigan, March 14, 1968, three weeks before his assassination.
 I just saw this news bit in February, 2009. The commentary
really hit me hard.

Back, at a time when Martin Luther was describing the

state of economic affairs in the USA, he was also preaching about
equality and freedom for people of all colors. However, in the
context of this discourse, he was referring to a Federal bail out of
the agricultural industry where the Government was paying
farmers not to harvest certain crops by way of a subsidy. Sound
familiar?! And in the same breath, these monetary recipients were
stating that black workers should pull themselves up by their own
bootstraps to be successful. Quite a contradiction, if not
hypocritical opinion. So, the Reverend King simply pointed out
this discrepancy, and hence, the truth. And they tried to kill the
truth, but only the human body was snuffed out......

Return to today, in a moment of historical crisis where

highly paid and professionally deceitful businessmen, like Madoff,
Nadel and a host of unsolved others, who contrive Ponzi schemes
to defraud the public, abound, what is essential for reflection is
these insightful words of a wise man who’s only goal was clarity of
purpose. With the weight on our new President’s shoulders for
past wrongs done by Americans, and still being inseminated, there
rings an imperative upon which we the people must stand up,
accept responsibility for the truth, and act in that light. We should
no longer tolerate complacency for banking executives crooked
deeds. There are no repercussions or recompense for the loss,
except possible imprisonment of the bad guy. And we have
already allowed $300 billion in 2008 to be awarded these fine
individuals to meet their year end bonus plan of corporate retreats
and charlatan budget entry shortfalls.

As of this date, no evidence exists to corroborate the

strategy of dumping the randomly designed number of 700 billion
dollars on this broken financial system. The experts said we had to
pursue this strategy or the system would have collapsed. Plus, this
trickle down theory would free up liquidity to loan. As a locally
small contractor remarked about his company recently, “Give the
money to me; I can supply jobs for people. Instead, I had to fire
over half my staff.” Does not that sad tone ring in your ears?!
Banks are still not infusing any cash into the broken system or
lending to the small business owner to survive, and we are at the
beginning of the third quarter, July 1, 2009.
 Here it is full circle: we all need initial support to get a leg
up in this modern day depression. And I mean emotionally, most
importantly. Yes, the funding will help. But the crux of the matter
is within. What makes a mediocre football team make it to the
Super Bowl, like the Arizona Cardinals? Chemistry, coaching,
tapped talent, teamwork, spirit, and more. What I heard those
players and coaches say in interviews this year was basic: you
have to believe in yourselves. See the dream; be the dream; live
the dream. Without the appropriate relief on this front, we will
become demoralized as a nation, and this ripple effect will spread
like a pandemic disease.

That is why the outpouring of millions of folks, with

diverse backgrounds and of many cultures, to watch the
Inauguration gives me hope. It’s the difference in making this
country what it will become. Lets avoid the extreme separation of
classes and focus on assisting our fellow man or woman in need.
All for one, and one for all, as the four musketeers declared. That
might be the best game plan we have. I suggest we contemplate its
meaning and not let another 40 years go by with a certain famous
leader, like MLK, Jr., being quoted in paraphrasing an analysis of
the same unfortunate state of affairs then that exists today. Is this
forecast for our future, if not worse???

“Fix It”
(Reference to SNL weekend update, 11/08)
Preface No. 2
Since the federal bailout debate, I have forgotten my own
preaching of re-creating a new society, as further enlightened in
“Wake Up, America,” the treatise that follows. I must re-ask the
question: who are the new heroes of the 21st century??

AIG, Bear Sterns. Lehman Bros., Merrill Lynch, Wachovia,

and a host of other failed institutions to come? Federal buyouts
with our tax monies to save the day? Who are we kidding??
Why? The experts predict that the old school method would have
a major impact. On what?? As my wife reflected to me, at the end
of last year, we allow the capitalization of profits but the socialized
approach to losses. Again, sound familiar? Are we communist??
That’s a hell of a rationale to offer us lay people who work, rather
slave, hard for what we get humbly in the trenches. No one
initially bailed out GM, Ford, or Chrysler in the blink of an eye.
Instead, Congress scrutinized them like the IRS crawling up your,
well, you know what. Maybe they should have approved some
small measure of comfort. But no, last year as a farewell, to
appease the unions, George W. had to save the day with a morsel
of crumbs not even fit for a mouse.

In 2009, President Obama had to attempt to salvage the car

czars, an American institution, like baseball, and help the failing
unions in association therewith. At least give them a last chance at
making a go. Now, two big companies are filing bankruptcy. Why
didn’t we let the banks go under in this same way? I don’t want an
ownership interest in a private group liquidating. I’ll get 5 cents
on the dollar, and then they get a clean slate to start over and make
more money from scratch, as they wave bye-bye to me with my
nickel in my pocket....

Why don’t ‘we the people’ join this ridiculous party of

leaches. They’re parasites, really. We all could use a bailout in
these uneasy, hard times. I mean we should have let them all fall,
crumble. Screw ‘um!! As we can see, this horrendous theory of
economics has it’s flaws and weaknesses at the taxpayers expense.

For what’s the worse that could happen?! There is all ready
new heights of unemployment, unbelievable levels of foreclosures,
and, for all intents and purposes, we’re in the tank. No pun
intended as gas prices have gone through the roof. We can’t keep
passing the buck and the responsibility for bad decisions. For
deceitful stock practices. For untrustworthy service providers. For
corporate fraud on a subversive daily basis. All our dollars and
cents are spent rebuilding another country. Why not transport all
our resources there and start afresh?! Seriously, lets pick up and
move to where we invest billions. Just like the old Western
frontier. We obviously don’t give a hoot about this ole US of A.
Divided were fall, united we stand. But it’s difficult to wobble
about on one wooden leg that’s infected with termites. Why do
you think the rest of the international community mocks us. We
are such an easy target for terrorists’ reproach. And, unfortunately,
it is not our ACTION that speaks louder than words because
there’s no method behind our madness.

Before, a long time ago, the framers of the Constitution,

politicians of the Revolution, the Continental Congress, the
minutemen, who fought and shot the sound heard around the
world, started this original revolutionary bash against the mightiest
warrior of the colonial times..... And what did they do first??
They thought about it. They aligned themselves to what was right,
truthful, filled with integrity, and that which would pursue
freedom, liberty, and happiness for all involved. Not just out for
themselves. Or the quick buck!!

We didn’t have to bail them out, rectify a half-ass job, take

over when no one was watching or oversee their misdoings. They
were good down to the bone. And they convened as a community
and processed a plan that was actually workable for the people,
who wanted to live the same ideals and within that new precious
environment they had hoped to create. Yes, create!! They were
demigods creating a society for the betterment of all. So we could
all feel good about ourselves. We could all live freely without
prejudice and hate and persecution. We could all express our own
uniqueness without fear of harm and death. We could all live in
harmony, peace and joy. What happened since then?? We’re all
dying, withering on the vine.....

So what’s next?? What’s the band-aid solution?? Isn’t that

the problem?? Short term answers for long term realities. The
original thinkers of the 1700’s were not short sighted. They saw
deep into the future. Even our complete legal system rests on one
document. The Supreme Court revolves around the Constitution
fully. Too many exceptions have been pushed under the law.
White collar criminals walk away scott free with a bundle in their
pockets, and then fire their entire workforce. Laid off!! After 10,
20, 30 years. Without any healthcare benefits. Even pension funds
are failing. You know, pull the good ole bait and switch, but as you
sit there comfortably in you quaint little home hoping to relax and
enjoy, finally, the fruits of your labor, we regret to inform you that
you’ll need to begin searching for another career position as what
was left in the kitty to assist you into old age has been squandered.
No one cares about you anymore. Dog eat dog once again. “What
the.....,” as my teen nephew says.

So who’s running the show?? You or someone in whom

you had thought you placed your trust and faith. No longer.
Today, yes now, is the time for another form of rebellion. Not with
guns and the primitive instruments of the past. But with love and
good will toward others. We are forced, coerced, to an action long
over due. I am grateful for the morass the higher ups have branded
us with. This stigma provides more incentive to carry on together
as ONE from the “lower” classified ranks.
 At one time, I too used to be a “rape and pillager.” As a
lawyer, I made $150 an hour, on the average. Now as a teacher, I
make $5-10 per hour. What a shame. In my honest belief, there is
no nobler position than teacher, educator, nurse, or whatever
worthy subject matter, similarly situated. Of course, chasing
green-backs has some perks, but only if you deserve it according to
the relative appreciative factor. Most of us do, but aren’t given our
day in court. As a result, we must accept what is. I say BOSH!!
Accept nothing! Only what should be: ‘the what is making me
happy in life’ formula. I shouldn’t be confined to an area where I
have to beg, steal or borrow my way into the ranks of survival.

Who is the big bad English nation to rebel against in

2009?! We are those barely trained men in Concord, Mass.,
listening to the echoes of Paul Revere. “The British are coming!”
Even better, I’m instructing that they’re right behind you. So
before you run in fear or hand over your wallet in the symbol of
your life savings, think again. Take a deep breath. Look around
and contemplate. Feel the vibrations of your heart. Listen. What’s
it saying? Be open. Be mindful. Be positive in your analysis.
Revolution is only curative if developed in truly soulful
understanding. Whole. Balanced. Loving. Caring. Conscious.
Deliberate. Thoughtful. In light of the greater source. Emanated
out from the inner being to reflect the desires and passions of your
God, in goodness. Believe in that feeling, reach out to the
mountain top, stretch to touch the stars, and your life will change
and improve. In accordance with you true self. How perfect. But
first, we must modify being crushed, stamped upon, and burdened.

The American Revolution began with the abolition of the

Stamp Act. In a bizarre analogy, today’s rebuilding is a mirror
image of stamping out corruption, whipping out fear, overcoming
obstruction. In the end, let the big companies take their hit. Let
them experience bruises and restructure in normal bankruptcy. We
are already hurting and their loss is our gain. Lets stop buying,
paying for, their failure. The wealthy of this nation will recover.
But regardless, in each scenario, we, the average person, doing our
best with what we have got, will be stamped down even more. We
soon will be filing a new form of bankruptcy .... of the soul.

LETS REPEAL this so called STAMP ACT that’s

penetrating our very core and diminishing our worth. We are of
value. We have inherent self-esteem. Each of us has inherited
something special that only each of us can release, expand, and let
grow. We can’t afford to carry the wealthy anymore on our backs
to purgatory. They aren’t letting us grow into our true selves. In
short, the environment is stale and suffocating. Without that
support structure in place, we will surely perish. Forgive any
doom and gloom sermon here. Just plain facts. Hear now the beat
of the drum of your own heart calling you to reform in your own
way. We are soliciting help. Each must give for constructive
purposes. Lets re-frame a “document blessed” to re-protect the
freedom of all of us in these grand States, United, for America.

At this stage, I direct you to a new initiative that follows

entitled, “Wake Up, America.” May it prove a source for further
enlightenment......

Wake Up, America

(A treatise)

Note

I originally wrote the first draft of this pamphlet back in

2002, and but for lack of courage or whatever, I buried it in some
drawer in my filing cabinet downstairs. I have since updated it a
tad. However, I sensed I was afraid of how it’s message might
affect my start up business at that time in terms of adverse
feedback. But, in reality, my personality is such that I wanted to
avoid any conflict and not stir the pot. Now, I feel compelled to
pursue this theme once again as some things have not changed, and
it strikes a renewed nerve. My teeth have become so sensitive of
late. The doctors are not able to diagnose the problem. My ears
have developed a subtle ringing even. But, I know the medical
mishaps have to do with my stress over this subject. So like Walt
Whitman, or Johnny Appleseed, I bare the sacred cloak and mantle
and prepare to disseminate throughout our global network and
lines of communication in a promise of truth......a message......to
justify the means and the end, all in the present moment……

The New Introduction

Like Judas Iscariot, like Benedict Arnold, like myself, I feel

that I am betraying my trained background and fraternal
compadres with whom I used to conspire and associate in my
previous life. Yes, I was a lawyer and businessman for almost ten
years. What I saw disturbed me; what I did was disconcerting;
what I represented was a sad collection of humanity behind the
mask of a legitimate business. So in that light, let me spew forth
the secrets that most see and most ignore, but prefer to remain
untouched by the reality of what’s out there. (I expound on these
insights in the following ten sections entitled, “Time Bombs.”)

As a scary decision, from this instance onward, no one will

approve or accept you if you alter your position from the current
wolf in sheep’s clothing that you wear today. If you decide to
change, relinquishing the label as one of the inclusive ‘us,’ which I
know to be a farce, you will be actively rejected and abandoned by
the exclusivity of this “Club.” I know since I grew up in one, an
upper middle class country club environment. Let me expound
further beyond vague references, in spite of the tomatoes being
thrown at me on this hyperbolic stage.....

It is with a heavy heart and a sense of futility that I have

created this sliver of what, I believe, to be a tome of thoughts,
expressions, and feelings on the following issues that have plagued
America throughout the ages. As an open vessel, I implore you,
the reader, to re-examine this basic tale of society, and in
particular, war: from Alexander the Great, to Caesar, to the
American Revolution, to the World Wars, to Korea, Vietnam, and
Desert Storm, to today’s terrorist campaign. (A situation which
makes you forced to live a life in which you are afraid to let go
because of the fear and insecurity draped around it.)

I am not a historian but I do know this: we have been

fighting for freedom for a long time. Not just from evil, like
terrorism, but from every disease or plague, from slavery in all
forms, from each other, from ourselves. It’s never ending and very
tiresome. We have come to a new millennium and a critical time
to decide anew. We must weave a new world fabric, and it must
begin at home in America. That is why my heart weighs heavy
because the average person does not realize that they have the
fortitude within him or her. The process begins with someone
special with a strong character, full of integrity and simple faith,
which may be me, but in all likelihood, refers to you.

As this war affects Americans immediately, and in

particular, in New York City and Washington DC, there were civic
personalities that have been carrying us through those catastrophic
times (and I allude specifically to 911): the firemen and women,
all those police personnel who gave their lives, and ordinary
volunteers going beyond their day to day chores. If we need to
learn anything about that tragedy, it would be to observe these
persons’ examples. We should interview each and every one to
determine how they tick, and listen, then digest what we are
starving for from their truths and begin restructuring our lives
around that. Then we can begin weaving this new fabric.

I would imagine their perspective to be one of a certain

Martin Luther King, Jr. or Jesus of Nazareth. He was a carpenter
and lived from moment to moment. He ate what he needed, he
performed his duties when needed, and he wore only what he
needed. He relied not just on his heavenly Being to provide, but
also he relied on his fellow human beings. Again, I refer to this
connection as a weave, a fabric of cloth, in which we are all
interwoven between and among ourselves.

When the tenants in downtown New York were displaced

from their homes, who took them in? Their neighbors did. (This
includes their family, and moreover, the proverbial “we.”) Who
fed the working fire people and police force that came from all
geographic areas to help repair the damage in that horrible scene?
We did. (Or rather, local restaurants and volunteers from across
the nation that brought food and drink.) Don’t you see that we
provided for each other? We can together. We worked hand in
hand, side by side. And we sure don’t need another bombing to
make this a daily occurrence.

What was done at the Pentagon and the World Trade Center
was a result of hatred. I do not condone it. However, I believe this
incident gave us a vision through this bizarre situational
microscope. We got to see what firemen/women and policemen/
women do everyday. We saw the lives of a multitude of Jesus
personalities. We witnessed communities come together. We
experienced a love in a world that is in a poorly woven condition.
We desperately need new cloth, and that can only be sewn from
within. If each person could grab hold of one small particle or
edge of the blank template of this cloth and start weaving their own
thread, no matter what type, thickness, color, strand, or
shape….well….there’s the mosaic vision.

If we can start in this way with a new common purpose, I

think there will be revealed about and around us a more beautiful
American design. But again, each of us must be worthy and true
on the inside to play a positive role. Otherwise, the fabric takes on
hurtful strains that make it look like it currently does: the state of
our torn nation.

Take for example a baker’s dozen of problems that arise in

our conversations every day at the coffee shops or book stores but
are not publicized because they suggest the untouchable sores of
the walking wounded, “lepers,” that we fear to confront:

1. The War on Iraq, i.e. Terror International, which continues to

snuff out the lives of our soldiers, that amount to thousands per
year and costs hundreds of billions of dollars. (Again, as guised
under policies of liberty and freedom, the only resultant outcome
has been the doubling of gas prices that is helping to cripple our
economy and make oil and gas barons wealthy.)

2. The apparent questionable role of politician’s who play in self-

dealing: receiving huge government contracts where there are
obvious conflicts of interest.

3. Tsunami and Katrina: powerful examples of the devastation

due to the unpredictability of nature’s wrath.

4. The white collar crime (like the ENRON debacle), which

screwed seniors from their life savings, and forced them back into
the working field.

5. Bogus church groups and other stepchildren of falsity that use

religion to defrock.

6. Identity theft and consumer credit fraud each year that amounts
to billions of dollars.

7. The Wall Street “dot com” financial bust that left us hovering
above recessionary levels since 2002.

8. The bailout of Bear Sterns Investment Group with our tax

dollars setting a new precedent for high end economic deception:
not just corporate icons taking golden parachutes to jump ship
with millions just before the company’s failure leaving us to
hold the bag, but with the added proviso of our government
subsidizing this action.

9. The $700 billion government bailout package which has gone

unaccounted.....where we might recover 20 cents to the $1.00 in 10
years, best case, after having set up a RTC like entity paid by
taxpayers and that will re-hire the wall street crooks as consultants
to advise this agency since they were the ones who created this
debacle. As a result, they make money on the back end too.

10. Poverty that’s close to the worst in the world.

11. Multiple diseases, which kill without mercy and affects larger
groups of people each year, running the spectrum from kids to
seniors.

12. Homelessness of children and adults that is appalling.

13. Uninsured families that receive sub-par medical treatment for

chronic conditions, which lays the foundation for a busted
healthcare system.

14. Sexual molestation and abuse of minors from trusted adults

like priests, coaches, friends, relatives, or family members.

15. And forget the statistics on murder, rape, road rage accidents or
drunken driving deaths, drug addiction and overdoses, and
suicide (since mental illnesses still goes hardly noticed in spite
of the 400% increase in adolescent suicides).

PS. Take the untimely demise of Heath Ledger, David

Carradine, and Michael Jackson, and the questionable
promulgation of prescription medication via licensed doctors
pushing the drug companies’ agenda.

(NOTE: And who pays for all this morass?? Taxpayers!! Always.
What kind of fabric design do you think we have created and
continue to promote for ourselves in the technological and digital
age??? Things are moving too fast without much contemplation of
what’s happening at this second, or without even a break of
silence, to hear ourselves breathe.)

We need to go back to the firemen/women, the police

officers, and the carpenters. When I was a boy, that’s who I
wanted to be. But as I got older, things changed. Why? Because
money issues surfaced, and I longed for what it could give me.
And not just the money, but the conditional value system of
restricted dependency that is attached to it. In other words, it
straps your hands in a straight jacket and you feel trapped unless
you play the game. As a result, you sacrifice yourself and forgo a
way of life that would have helped you maintain the faithful course
of what and who you truly are at the core. Why do I have to suffer
to learn this? When one falls, we all fall. That’s who we are. That
should be America. Each of us represents that symbol, or at least,
we should.

It’s a heavy task in this day and age because it’s easier to
just give in. The power “machines” and structures that exist hold
sway over us. We are still slaves to each other. The Civil War
taught us nothing, but how to kill each other with innovation and
fight better biological and technological wars? Come on! What
sense of freedom, peace, and harmony do we really have? How
much does one person really need? (Oh, yeah, right, maybe if I
were wealthy, I would be singing a different song. Let me tell you,
I live reasonably well, but I try to picture an existence as if
impoverished. What a real eye opener, which I could hardly
imagine in any reasonably comfortable existence.)

There, that should be it! Put yourselves in someone else’s

shoes. Before you act, ask yourself how the person you’re
affecting might feel. We need to relearn empathy and compassion.
We need not a physical revolution but an emotional resolution to
be “reborn” in every sense of that word. The time has come; your
time is NOW!!!

What I elaborate from here I portray as ten (10) “Time

Bombs” to include in your decision making process. In an
unfortunate act, the terrorists forced us to see ourselves as we
currently exude globally. And not all of us, mind you, but most of
us. And we can’t delete ourselves from this picture as co-
conspirators in some tangential form. Even though the buildings
have been destroyed, let’s rebuild that which we know to be right
with materials that we know to be true. In a leap of faith, detonate
your emotional lethargy to wake up !!!!!!!

Time Bomb #1 - Re-Examine Your Life’s “Story”

Examine your life! That seems like a very simple request.

But I bet if you tried to do it, that procedure is, as has been
paraphrased, “It would be harder to put a camel through a needle’s
eye.” There that concept is again. It’s ages old and still unheeded.
But we have found those who can follow that example: the
firemen/women who gave their lives for love, for duty, for another.
(This generic role model should also extend to our modern soldiers
overseas placed in harms way.) There are people in this world who
have accomplished this parable. We need to locate them and begin
asking them questions and LISTEN.

As I mentioned, as a kid I wanted to be either a fireman or

policeman. But as I grew up, I was led to believe by societal
forces (and I will not name each one that influenced me, but you
can figure out who and what they were in your own lives) that
money was God. So, you guessed it, I strived to become one of
those ambitious working class Joes. In my twenties, I looked for a
steady job that would pay the bills and give me a little extra to help
receive credit, mortgage a home, buy a car, stereo (and now, a flat
screen TV, cell phone, iPod, updated computer, HD network, and
video equipment including, Guitar Hero and Wii) and go out with
the boys buying dinner and drinks ever so often. In that, I found a
sense of financial independence.

However, what my job had become was something I was

not. As a lawyer, I would represent clients who coordinated the
issuing of loans to people in monetary difficulty, or individuals
who wanted to pay off their debt, or to live in retirement
comfortably, or to buy a house bigger in size than they could
afford, and the developers who could supply that. I was green and
threw myself in whole heartedly. I was polite, worked hard, and
competent. I actually cared. Yet over time, I became callous and
jaded. I was turning into someone I was not: from kind to mean;
from caring to careless; from creative to festering and verbose;
from joyful and loving to hateful and angry. I had to set aside my
professional training due to the societal stress and start fresh.

By way of a confessional, as I closed those above

referenced deals, below are a few illustrations of what I and my
associates would tackle and co-promulgate.

Scenario 1: A middle-aged couple with two kids have

maxed out their credit cards. The father is a plumber unable to
make a living because of all the bills he has to pay to every
collector, you can imagine, just to survive. He has a bad credit
history. But my mortgage broker client gives him a loan to
refinance their debt (pay it off) at a lower interest rate than his
15%. My client offers them 10%, saving 5%, but still well over
the going prime rate, 6.5%. The couple is satisfied because
everything is consolidated into one debt, and, the kicker, they pay
no closing costs. Of course not, because these fees are all
(including a point at 1% of the loan amount and associated bank
fees) financed in the loan. In other words, they still pay for the
costs, just over time in their interest payments.

For example, if they needed $30,000 to pay off their credit

cards, the mortgage broker gave them $40,000 which includes
$10,000 worth of his fees to do the deal. Even though they have a
lower payment, it’s still at a higher loan amount. Does that make
sense? Well, it wasn’t my duty to say because I was hired only to
settle the transaction and record the documents, and not to give an
opinion. But, to make it even worse, to get this broker client’s
business, I also had to agree to fraudulently modify the HUD-1
statement: one to show the borrower without certain bogus fees
the broker never disclosed, including the kick back the broker
received from the final bank that would service the loan, and then
another revise the HUD-1 to the final lender where the loan would
be placed with all the charges. My fee was only $250 per closing.
Who do you think collected the most on this “legitimate”
transaction? The banker brokers absconded with thousands.....

Scenario 2: An older couple only have social security to

rely on for retirement. They have both worked their entire lives
until 65 and just had some money invested in savings bonds
because they were afraid of the stock market. They have their
home, but they took out a home equity loan to make repairs over
the years and used any extra money to pay off that. My bank
lender client offered them a new type of creative financing.
Without going into the technical details of it, needless to say, when
these folks die, the only thing they leave their children or heirs
would be another pile of debt. In other words, the inheritance
would end up zero, but instead became a negative number or less
than nothing, because all the equity in their house would be tapped
in the reverse. This loan was based on a inflated appraisal, which
reality later dictated to be of much lower value. The sale of the
home upon their demise didn’t even cover all the outstanding new
debt.

Scenario 3: I was required to account for every one-sixth

of an hour on a time sheet for the law firm, which I did religiously.
I did not make up any time for stuff I did not bill; however, most of
the partners did. My hourly rate was $125 and the partners’ rates
were usually $250. There would be times when I would sit in a
partner’s office for less than fifteen minutes and see that partner
mark two hours on his time sheet, classify it as a conference with
the associate on the case, and promptly leave for an early lunch.
Then I would go to work the rest of the day or week researching
the case on behalf of this partner in charge, who then would deduct
my time and override it with more of his or hers. This
misrepresentation hampered my growth for truly and accurately
accounting for my time and was reformatted falsely by the partner
to allow the firm to bill the client at a higher rate. This negative
reinforcement also made it tougher for me to get ahead without
resorting to the same scheme.

So, enough elaboration.......

These few experiences made life hard for me to sleep at

night knowing somehow I was a co-conspirator in these unfair
practices disguised under a legal mask. And as we in America
know, there are other scams in different industries that we breathe
in every day. I don’t mean just those perpetrated by the lower
classes of society, but by real educated people. (On a side note: A
whole separate book would be needed to elaborate on the constant
cheating and affairs by and among the office staff: lawyers with
secretaries, paralegals or court clerks, and clients.) With that
knowledge, I decided to change careers and to help others:
students. But even that experience was disillusioning in many
regards.

In this second stage of my life as a teacher, I realized that

the cracked framework lies beneath the “scum” of this earth and
has insidiously pervaded the very paradigms of the systems for our
youth. I left the realm of money and power as an attorney, and
began collecting the lowest paycheck I had ever received as a
working class stiff. An institution of higher learning hired me to
teach middle and high school kids. I had seen how the elementary
children behaved, which looked real fun, as they were still unsoiled
and genuinely curious about life. But since I didn’t have an
official teaching certificate at that age level, I had to pursue private
schools. Suffice it to say, there was some overlap with my prior
life. In this newer environment, my fellow teachers and I faced
some of the following unsettling scenarios.....

Scenario 1: As a new teacher, who was initially unfamiliar

with the territory, I worked diligently from 7AM until 10PM on the
average staying up at night preparing for class and learning more
about this new educational routine reading how-to resources. At
the end of the year, the kids were tough but good to deal with in
the larger sense, and I knew my efforts were making a difference.
But not once, did I ever get a “thank you” or “job well done” by
my superiors or other administrators. I think they had forgotten
what it was like to be in the trenches because I felt like a delegated
servant jumping to their every whim or idea, in the form of an
order; or, being convinced to take on more duties, for free, so that I
was physically on campus almost every weekend. Now, I enjoyed
being with the students, but sometimes one needs a break. I soon
discovered that this was one of the reasons this profession, as noble
as it is, has a high turnover rate.

Scenario 2: My fellow teachers were totally inconsistent in

their dealings with the students and me. Consistency in discipline
is a must, I understood. I had heard this principle from my
supervisor. But I was the victim of the chairperson of the
department not supporting my rules or classroom environment.
For example, she was guided by her need to be a popular teacher
and made fun of my policy of having students be to class on time.
In another situation, one minority student who had academic
problems was kicked out of school for plagiarizing, while another
unruly kid, whose parents were connected locally, received a slap
on the wrist for drinking on campus and shooting his fellow
classmates with a slingshot.

One day, we had a school meeting about honesty and

respect, and I discovered later that while the heads of the school
lectured on this topic, as we were all enclosed in the chapel facility,
they also had instructed other teachers, in cahoots with them, to
search the high school lockers for certain paraphernalia in question
at that time. Constitutional rights what? Invasion of privacy?
What real lessons are we teaching our children? Like radar, the
students knew, saw and listened to what was going on around them
in spite of the administration’s disguising.

Scenario 3: And the most troubling of all was the teachers’

interaction among themselves, and the parents’ apathy toward their
children’s behavior. Some teachers, married or not, would have
affairs and then bicker over things when they went soar. Some
threatened harassment suits. One new teacher had an affair with a
teaching couple’s husband and broke up the marriage, where he in
turned married this new teacher after a year. One teacher was
reprimanded for making snide remarks to the girls he coached
because he allegedly looked up their skirts. Another teacher
started relations with several single parents of students. And
finally, at almost every parent teacher conference, no matter what
the child did (poor grades, bad behavior, etc), the blame was
thrown always on the teacher or the school procedure as the fault.
And the school administration supported this denial perspective to
avoid negative feedback from parents, and at the private
environment, to insure their financial commitment next year. We
were like rats in a big maze scurrying about aimlessly to avoid
being unjustly targeted. No accountability!

Scenario 4: For academically weak students, a long term

teacher advised me to “flush them through the system.” Why?
Because what I was doing was requiring more parent conferences
than my co-teachers due to my giving kids lower grades, who had
received higher grades the year before. Not only did this action
make my co-workers look bad, but it showed a hole in the system.
Moreover, where access to firearms is unlimited, aka, Columbine,
this same mentoring teacher instructed me to give the student the
“B” to avoid him or her coming back the next day with a gun and
shooting me.

Scenario 5: And lastly, discovered when one of my close

friends left for a higher paying job at the nearest public school for
a similar position, he remarked there was only 5 minutes to teach
per class. He said he daily called a security guard to break up a
fight or some disturbance. In addition, due to all the bureaucratic
requirements, he couldn’t teach anything except the “test”, which
the students had to take statewide. No wonder we have the worst
public education on the planet.

Now, I ask you, which one of these careers reveals what is

more damaging to our society?? When I am on my deathbed
looking back, is this effort what I have to be proud of? When those
firemen/women went up in the Twin Towers, did they understand
that they were responding with a true clarity of purpose and were
prepared to die then? What about the victims? These are hard
questions to ask, but ask we must. For to begin the new fabric, to
begin again, to go beyond just mere survival and pain every day,
we must help each other. And this effort of love, an extension of
your frail being, will involve re-examining your life. This
reflection will involve quiet time. This analysis will require you to
slow down and really soak it all in and think, yes, think, about your
life. Think about YOU! What do you really want? Listen to your
heart from within to find the answers.

Time Bomb #2 - Where Are You Going? Ask Yourself

Directions!

By way of an analogy, lets examine our lives as one big

traffic incident. Let us pretend that we are Mr. and Mrs. Victims in
this court case. This is how the ordeal in the courtroom would
proceed hypothetically. In this light, it is important to reflect on
your thoughts, your feelings, and your arguments on your behalf.
This contemplation will be the ultimate to a final resolution!

Stage setting: Mini-Court Room Drama:

The Issue: (As I stated, I practiced law for a while before

deciding to give it up to teach. If you will indulge me, I am going
to employ a few legal stunts, as you might see on Judge Judy or
Judge Joe Brown, to begin my premise about our current state of
affairs, as we argue our case in trial.)

Pretend we are in the courtroom before a real Judge. We

are the lawyers representing the plaintiffs, Mr. and Mrs. Victims,
who are prosecuting the case. The defendants, who are several
parties, include Mr. Hurry and Ms. It’s Your Fault, as well as Mrs.
Deep Pockets. We are presenting the following issue: whether the
defendants are liable for damage to us, the plaintiffs, for
negligence, and in the alternative, an unconscionable act, i.e.,
against the norms of basic equity and moral justice.

The Prosecution’s argument: “I begin with the facts as best

we know them and use a black board to illustrate. At the
“Intersection of Life,” where “Forward Ave.” and “Backward St.”
meet, our clients, the Victims, were driving their car. They were
trying to move forward on Forward Ave. There was no light, no
signs, nor police officers to direct traffic, and they simply wanted
to go straight through. But every car on Backward St. traveling
under the same traffic conditions would not yield or stop to let the
Victims move forward. That posed the dilemma. And note, there
was no option to turn back or seek another route as they were
unavailable.

After fifteen minutes of waiting, a reasonable period in

traffic, the Victims decided they had to do something. So they
took matters into their own hands, knowing they must take full
responsibility for their actions, and they inched forward. But the
cars, trucks and buses on Backward never slowed down. No one
ever looked their way to show any sign of concern.

After another fifteen minutes, they decided they had to

move ahead. And, bam! Mr. Hurry was smashed into on the side.
And then wham! Ms. It’s Your Fault crashed into them from the
other crossing lane. And, here we have Mrs. Deep Pockets
stepping up and acting as the savior for the defendants by insuring
and indemnifying all their liability and loss.”

As we present our case, we realize that with our client’s

limited funds and resources, and since they were lucky to be alive
after surgery and possibly additional years of hospital care and
rehab, that things began to look rather dim. Here we have your
normal everyday couple, who pay taxes, work hard, obey all the
rules, and now become vegetables just because they wanted to
move forward on Life’s Boulevard. And what held them back?
Not themselves since they exhausted every remedy to improve
their situation. No, instead, the current world forces crushed them
and are prepared to beat them down now.

Since this case did not involve a jury, the Judge was the
mediator and final arbitrator. The Judge represented the symbol of
blind justice subject only to a higher force. However, the
sympathy we were trying to exude from this Judge, based only on
the facts, did not move him/her. We had to argue something more.
But what? What could we say to convince the Judge that our
clients want to move beyond being Victims in this world, and long
for a life free from anger, stress, hatred, and apathy.

Our time was up and it was the defendants turn to defend

their position.......

The Defense: The defendants didn’t have a lawyer

representing them because they all believed they had done no
wrong. Mr. Hurry stood up and proclaimed the following:

“Your Honor, I am here today because Mr. and Mrs.

Victims hit my car. I had many things to do that day, as I do every
day. First, I had to run an errand, then pick up some flowers, then
go grocery shopping, then do lunch with a friend, later start the
laundry, then pick up my kids for their sports games of soccer and
basketball after school, then drop one kid off at piano practice, then
get them back home to let the other kids in, then go to the subway
to pick up my wife from work and dinner at the fast food place; I
could go on and on forever. I think you get my point.

They expect me to slow down from my busy daily routine

and stop, yes stop, for these people who have nothing to do but go
forward. Are they even productive in our society? It doesn’t seem
like it since they have all this time. Obviously, my personal
concerns are more important than theirs are so I should not have to
stop on their behalf. No one else did or even would have.”

Then he sat down disgusted as if put out, and Ms. It’s Your
Fault took that as her cue to begin.

“You see, Your Judge-ship, I was minding my own

business, doing what was asked of me by my boss and focused on
the road, when out of no where these Victims plow into my lane.
Now, I don’t care why they did it, or for whom they did it, or if
there was an emergency or whatever. I just want to be left alone
and not be bothered by this whole ordeal. I mean, can’t we just
strive to keep the status quo. You know, business as usual. I know
I’m not to blame, and I don’t care again what happens as long as
my stuff is repaired back to what it was in the first place and I can
go on my way. Thanks.”

I sat rather slumped over in my chair as I was getting a six

sense that since my clients initiated the action, we looked like the
bad guys. Next up was the big golden lady. I just didn’t want to
hear it.

“Your graciousness, may it please this court of holiness and

good, I am Mrs. Deep Pockets. Folks call me that because we
seem to have all the money.” I even knew that for a fact, because
as standard procedure, you sue everyone but especially the one
with pockets that carried the figurative gold coins. And she
represented the insurance industry literally in her stead by
collecting years worth of premiums and hardly ever paying out.

“I was served by the prosecuting attorney, it appears, for no

apparent reason to stand before you in this case. As he stated quite
simply, his clients, the Victims, ran into ongoing traffic to create
this suit. It is unfortunate that Mr. Hurry and Ms. It’s Your Fault
have only reasonable salaries and that the plaintiffs only pursued
us for our money. What a shame! We aren’t related to these
defendants and we have no connection with the plaintiffs. It is
absurd, and we have no need to speak further as we sincerely
believe we hold no, not even an iota, of liability to anybody. Our
only role is a self-perpetuating and growing giant to feed our own
stomach and desires. Good day and good riddance to the Victims.”

Wow! I thought. Short and sweet. I stood up to rebut

them all but the Judge motioned me to be still.

“Your Honor.....” I tried to speak.

He continued to look down and take notes as he ordered to

defendants in a monotonous tone, “You may be excused.”

“But ......I ......” I stammered in a last gasp effort.

“Please.....in the name of justice, it is not fair............”

The Ruling: I slumped down in a cold wooden chair and

peered over at my clients, the Victims, who were huddled together
and shook in fear of losing their case. They had used all their
money to pay for the car damage, their lost wages, the continuing
hospital bills, and everything that might make things better. I
knew I wouldn’t get paid either. I only believed and laid my faith
on the blind justice balance. Maybe, there was hope left. The
Judge had yet to make this statement.

We waited for some time before the Judge looked up and

started his monologue.

“We live in a world that lies before us. We are ruled by the
rules that were crafted over the years by our predecessors. I am
appointed to view your case as one from this world, not from
above or below, or even, extraterrestrial. In that light, I must rule
in favor of the defendants.”

At that last word, my clients broke down in tears. My heart

sank.

“It came down to the simple determination that you are

legally at fault. People are in such a rush to travel backwards and
thus don’t care what direction they are going if only not to be
bothered by you or other worldly problems. And we all know that
those with a lot of money are the last to come to anyone’s rescue
by reducing their portion of the overall pie. You see Mrs. Deep
Pockets would expend every last penny she has to not have to give
to anyone else a portion of her gold coins. She is alive for herself
and those that run her. Having said that, the defendants need to be
made whole due to your unforeseen negligence. For you changed
the environment. You moved proactively.

So you see, you are in the wrong world to move forward.

You will need to appeal to a higher force than I can afford. The
sad thing is you are stuck in this situation. The reparations are up
to you; again you must choose your next course of action. But
remember this, no one listens to only one person alone digging...
their own trench. You will need strength in numbers. An orchard
of forward travelers. It’s really a matter of planting a multitude of
seeds. It starts small and grows beyond your wildest imagination.

I tell you this as no consolation to your loss today; but

rather, as the real legal ruling to this problem. There is no
conscionable alternative on this stage. It is the best I can offer.
Good luck.”

We had enough energy to acknowledge the Judge

respectfully on his/her departure, and looked at one another in a
bewildered way, and then hugged each other compassionately. We
realized the award of humility at that moment, for we had nothing.

And what a perfect circumstance to act without fear in the

future. We were prepared to ask the tough questions of ourselves
in tune with on our internal, heart-based guidelines. The
directional standards would come from there. Not in that court
room. What did we want and why? From there we could accept
the present and live in the present with only that expectation. And
like determined farmers, we would begin reaping a wider audience
of friends than what we had been sowing.

Time Bomb #3 - Where To Start from Here?!

I guess the basic question I had to ask myself after several

years in the grind was simply, am I happy? It’s that obvious. And
if you feel that living as you do as either the Victims, Mr. Hurry,
Ms. It’s Your Fault, or Mrs. Deep Pockets is all you want out of
life, and that way pays the bills, and you may or may not have a
significant other, but that’s OK, and you guess there is love in your
life because you have the kids to bond you in perpetuity, then best
of luck. But part of that is called complacency or inertia.

I once asked my sixty year old high school mentor about

life. We were sitting around his desk after school one afternoon,
just the two of us, and I told him that I wanted to be like him,
which made him smile. I asked him two things: one, how do you
do it? And two, why don’t you be a principal where I knew he
would be a greater influence and make a huge difference. He
chuckled and said that first, he has tried the best he could with
what he has been given; and second that he was “complacent,”
which he explained to me as being set in his ways and too old to
change.

At that moment I lost a little respect for him. I loved him

for all the rest he had done for me, in addition to his past and
current students, but I felt sorry for him for not having the energy
or will power to continue to act in change. If he would have said
that he loved his job and was perfectly happy, I would have
accepted that answer much better because he WAS making a
difference for me in these trenches, his classroom. But maybe
there was something more like he was afraid to move forward. He
was afraid to become vulnerable, to surrender to the overwhelming
forces of this universe. Did he not have other dreams in this world
or for himself before he died? Looking back on it, he did give
more that he knew because he empowered my life to become a
teacher, and I carry an imprint of his spirit with me to this day.

I guess what we need to examine is this: Is what you’re

living truly you? It’s hard to take the microscope to your life.
People would rather watch TV (I know I did) or drink (guilty) or
do something else other than sit down and relax and take some
time, maybe, ten minutes, to figure stuff out. Look deep inside
you. Are you the 21st century picture of Dorian Grey and melting
away under your skin while you look normal and sane on the
surface? Is what’s inside of you bursting to come out? Let the true
fabric spin out of you like a self-propelled loom!

In my case, the catalyst was creative writing. I started out

as a shy kid who hung around the cool guys in school. I never did
anything bad but was around or watched the activities happen.
Whenever I succumbed to peer pressure and did something bad,
like shoplift or cheat on a test, I always got caught. That was my
fate. Also, I bloomed late as a boy. I didn’t know about the birds
and the bees until college. In high school, I studied too much.
Later, girls became an obsession, or rather, a long phase. However,
through college and graduate school, my carousing became more.
I socialized and womanized well into my law experience. I was
thoroughly off track and wandering, using money and power to
leverage my position with women and improve my career.

Almost all my friends now look at me and say, “I still can’t

believe how much you have changed. Did you join a cult?!” I
have tried to transform myself into who I really was and must have
been slowly doing it subconsciously as best as I knew looking
back. The turning point happened, and it erupted when I found
love. Usually you need a geiger sized trigger to get moving. She
was the right person and is wonderfully supportive. As my friends,
family and societal connections chastised me initially for my
chipping away at my previous “real man” persona, my wife then
and now stood by me. After several years, I have regained my true
friends’ respect, or instead, found out I never lost them, but just
that our friendship had evolved.

I’ve been constantly changing ever since. The process has

been a struggle to be aware of one’s true identity and some days
you slip, for we’re only human. In my case, I left the law, became
that English teacher, and then took a sabbatical to write creatively.
But how could I afford being an artist? Tapping into some savings,
I went to conferences, attended seminars, and read ‘how to’ books
on the subject of self-publishing. And I became one of the first
children’s picture book company’s in the country to produce 4-
color prints. Few outside my expertise and geographic region have
heard of me. Why? Cause I’m a below average marketing agent.
I love to write but am not thrilled with running the business.
However, I still had some energy to break even every year in order
to survive.

Over time, I published several health resources for

hospitals and created programs for schools. The business unfolded
as if I hadn’t any plan. I wasn’t meeting any goals because I
hadn’t really formulated any. I knew there was a methodology to
not recreating the wheel yet conducted it at my own pace. I
struggled with success as my family held the bar of success as
being on Oprah, but I found that making an impact on those select
kids was enough. Since my wife had a job, we could make ends
meet. And I write every day. Someday, I’ll get the strength to
(self) publish that diverse collection of other genres that remain in
my file cabinets. Regardless, helping children makes all the
difference for me, and I can see the reward in their happy faces and
hear it in their positive comments, hugs and feedback.

Just know that in the beginning I sought outside support.

We are all frail, and it’s OK to seek the help from your family,
friends or others. By giving, you receive within the wellsprings of
your soul. That sounded a bit preachy. I do what I do to assist in
discovering me too. You may want to explore with a journal:
write down your feelings, or seek some professional counsel, or
talk with someone. It all helps. These are all stepping stones to
taking the ultimate path in your life. The transition takes a bit of
courage to face the unknown.

Once, I was being transferred by a rental car driver from

the car repair shop to the dealership when we actually were stuck
at an intersection. Almost like the Victims’ case. The cars in front
of us wouldn’t let us in to turn. Nobody looked our way. Sound
familiar. The driver gazed at me and asked, “What’s that about?”
Here I was in a real life Forward/Backward trial scenario. All I
could think about was that people are generally angry (as seen in
common day road rage) and seem to thrive off of a low level of
daily angst. We eventually turned after roughly five minutes, and
he told me some advice his single mom gave him when he was
growing up.

She said, “Son, I don’t care if you’re shoveling poop in a

zoo, you do it the best you can.” And he said he didn’t believe her
at first, until people were saying he’d never amount to anything.
But he proudly told me that he is doing it now, and had been, and
started out as a part-time driver years ago but now he’s the head
driver. “The higher ups ask me about everything now and my
opinion about what we should do,” he concluded. And, he was in
fact good: efficient, polite, and competent.

Using this new model, I think the test is what my old high
school principal stood for, as he used to say, and I paraphrase,
“Manners maketh men and women” and “We should strive for a
balance in our lives emotionally, physically, mentally, and
spiritually. And the standard is integrity.” As defined by Webster’s
dictionary, integrity is “the quality or state of being complete or
whole, of sound moral principle; upright; honest;
sincere.” (Footnote: Webster’s New World Dictionary, 3rd
College Ed., Copyright 1988)
 If you can look at yourself and see if you are living in those
terms, I know you will find some issues that need to be addressed.
And if you discover some and are unsure of whether or not to do
something about it, then I say to you, how lucky you are to be
alive! Can you imagine the horror those people felt, at and to their
very core, who crashed to their deaths in New York City or at the
Pentagon. We do not need that way of life. You can do something
about it in your own way. The rebirth always starts small, like any
plant seed, and grows and grows, if you keep watering your soul
with love and maintain a healthy perseverance. That’s a good way
to start. Be a gardener…….

Time Bomb #4 - When you Gaze through Your Eyes,

What do You See?

I once heard somewhere that your environment, that which

surrounds you, is a reflection of your true personality, i.e., who you
really are. Now, I’m not talking about the case where you take me
literally, but that indeed is part of the context. Is the room you
inhabit cluttered and dirty, full of things that distract you from your
course? I believe that to be the question as opposed to “do you see
all that glitters and fabulous riches before you?” We all have a
level of comfort that we must have. And so we strive for that. But
while we are striving, are we also sucking off from the men and
women who are truly in need? And are we abusing our good luck
in life that has been mysteriously apportioned to each his own??
Have we forgotten about the effects of positive energy?

Again, I go back to the interview with a fireman/woman or

policeman/woman. They are the modern day Jesus, Martin Luther
King, Gandhi, or whatever religious or non-religious personality
you feel honestly would fit this role model. If we can talk with
these real people, who gave their lives for total strangers, much
light would be shed on our daily troubles.

As an aside, I started painting. I am not very good at it, but

there is something about it that soothes me. I purchased an easel
and paints and draw whatever my mood is that minute or inspired
that day. In essence, I am reflecting my spirit on the canvas. I am
discovering a unique kind of beauty: the real me. The final
pictures may appear disconcerting at times but that is part of the
journey. I am purging my soul of that which I cannot comprehend.
There is no explanation, just feeling. I am no longer becoming
Dorian Grey trapping everything inside me like some ice man, but
instead taking the paintings out of the attic and displaying them in
the light. Others may not appreciate them at first, but then again,
they may not have my new sensibilities as I weave my newest
fabric. More importantly, they are for my growth and stimulation
and not meant for sale commercially.

I also have tried my hand at leisure reading (not business

related). I prefer classic literature and uplifting books so I tend to
stick with those. But I never was a good reader. My skills were
slow, and it would take me forever to finish even a small sized
book. Reading was very frustrating only because I had this
underlying feeling of failure that I should be doing something more
productive at that time, like doing the laundry, or cleaning the
house, or making a marketing call. That’s why I have taken toward
reading at bedtime because there are no distractions.

An epiphany in a nutshell…. I can’t enjoy any time reading

during the day because that time is unproductive from a tangible
perspective, for it doesn’t make me any money, so to speak. Why
do anything that doesn’t produce money? Or why engage in any
service to mankind, for your child or yourself, if you cannot see
any hard rewards. Reading is beyond the intangible! Out of it,
you travel far, experience new worlds, and see life from a new and
different view. In other words, you learn more about yourself and
others and how to express your feelings better. So now, I read
anytime I want. This desire is a state of acceptance that what you
may be doing this instant is just it, all there is to life. So what you
do all matters even if it’s not considered “productive.”

Physical activity can also induce the same reaction

physiologically. Whenever we exercise, our bodies activate
hormones that maintain our equilibrium. I’m talking about
walking, jogging, raking leaves or mowing the lawn. As a kid, I
played tennis. I had the worst temper but that exercise afforded me
an outlet to compensate for my anxiety in general. It also gave me
a chance to apply problem solving techniques, and participate by
being involved in a team sport to develop a sense of community. I
may not have been the best player on the circuit but I enjoyed the
outdoors and sun. I was grateful for a healthy physique then. Now
I long for that aerobic shape as I grapple with nutritional concerns
in my 40’s. And our news media groups recognize obesity as the
next great epidemic.
 However, there it is facing you as the biggest barrier, the
largest wall, which you can never surmount, forget about ever
trying to climb it. And that phrase is as follows: you need money.
My father once told me that money is my salvation. Whereas, my
father-in-law said that the only thing money gives you is that you
can suffer more in comfort. Either way, money overcrowds the
picture. The goal is to start anew. Let’s begin the drawing of our
lives without money first, not putting it in the “formula.”

You’re responding in your gut that this approach is

impossible. I disagree. Let’s look at a few simple examples of
passions in everyday life that do not involve the dollar as almighty.
(Granted you need a few coins to buy or borrow the initial
supplies.) In most cases, if you’re living the dream, sometimes the
initial status will improve and your avocation will become your
vocation.

1. Writer-- need pen, paper and dreams.

2. Artistic Painter-- need paint brush, paper and imagination.

3. Basketball Player-- need basketball, public court, and physical

ability.

4. Football Player-- need football, open yard, and determination.

5. Tennis Player-- need tennis racket & balls, public court, and
love (my favorite sport).

6. Carpenter-- need wood, hammer, nails, and trade skills.

7. Fisherman-- need fishing rod, tackle, bait, and patience.

8. Gardener-- need seeds, mulch, and knowledge.

9. Fireman-- need hose, fire hat & suit, and courage.

10. Policeman -- need badge, training and dedication.

11. Barber -- need scissors, chair and school certificate.

12. Teacher -- need education, school and caring.

13. Nurse -- need degree, hospital and love.

These are just some avocations that turn into vocations. Rather, if
you can merge your dream way of life with your day job, then you
have accomplished plenty. From the list of things mentioned, all
of them will bring a living in time.

So what do you do in the meantime? First, work with what

you know you have as talents or experiences. Calculate them.
Make a list and then try to narrow down the choices to your top
three. Now what? Well, we need to support one another and not
bury the other guy. It has been said that the new Messiah will
come to us in a form that we least expect. Have you been visited
by a messenger of the Messiah and turned them away? We should
be cultivating our own souls in this new light so that we are ready
and open to others. For who knows what we will face hereinafter.
The tally is here and now, and each day counts, no matter how
small the contribution. So, ask the universal forces how you can
help?

When I desired to switch careers and become a teacher, and

no one took me seriously, as I had no training and was still an
attorney, I volunteered at my church as a lay instructor for middle
to high school grade kids. I did it with my wife every weekend for
three years and further assisted non-profits in that related area at
their charity functions. These experiences and contacts led me to
finally becoming a teacher.

This same philosophy applies to every group. For those

who cannot afford healthcare, it should be provided by the rest of
us who can assist. There are groups who offer this arrangement
now. For those who cannot hire an attorney, there is the pro bono
service. There are many non-profits established to fill the gaps
where our government cannot reach. However, after reviewing the
most recent national crises, we, as Americans, are not sure where
that money is actually going and if any victims truly get actual
assistance. These things should be re-evaluated.

And that is the crux of the issue. Why should we have to

beg, be taken for granted, or second guess charitable work. If our
inner selves were whole, then our environment should be too. The
deduction simply follows. I am not espousing a communistic way
of life. We have survived on capitalism for years. All I am saying
is whatever system we have chosen, it should not tear and rip the
fabric of our community. We can adjust our capital society to
maintain in moderation (and not extremes) the new fabric that we
will weave today.

Freedom does not exist everywhere in America. We are

trying to defend that precious concept across the globe. Yet we
should not overlook our own backyards. As was once uttered, we
need to take the stick out of our own eyes before we can see clearly
to dispatch the negative gossip we impose judgmentally and willy
nilly on another. My minister used to say, whenever you point
your finger at someone or something, there is always three fingers
pointing back at you.

It’s an easy tool to remember that your completeness

should be continuously updated as you sew the new cloth. And
once we have come to terms with focusing on our dreams coming
to life, we will need some positive reinforcement to rely on. It is
through that process that our self-esteem, empowerment, and
emotional independence will grow and be fostered. We need
mentors. And where can we go to find them?

Time Bomb #5 - Who are Your Great Influences??

How difficult to see beyond the humanness of our behavior

and reach out to our underlying divinity?!... But role modeling
unprofessionalism and hypocrisy, like some past Presidents in the
White House, Governors of major cities, or even Mayors from my
region, provoke stumbling blocks to our society for what is right.
Yes, this ripple affect also reaches well into the sports arena,
celebrities, and many facets of our daily structures concerning so
labeled heroes, that in their own right are effective at first, but lose
focus, and we pay the price following their example.

We need to reflect back on our lives and ask ourselves who

were our greatest influences or who were the most meaningful
people to us. Again, the simplest way to do this is to take a piece
of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left-
hand side, write the person who had some positive impact on you.
And on the right side, write down what you think that was. To
make it easier, try to brainstorm names for the left list before you
begin on the right (unless you can handle this technique together).

In our lives, we must have had specific personal contact

with these persons. (In similar fashion, you could do this exercise
in the opposite way and discover all the bad people and how to
avoid becoming like them. This method is an alternative and acts
as a process of elimination. In other words, it allows you to reject
what thread you don’t want to use in your new fabric.) At first,
you may not think a certain person was a mentor, but remember to
be open as you enter names on your paper. For sometimes, one
good characteristic can outweigh and rise above all the bad.

Let’s see what you have discovered. Here was my list (in
its partial form):

Names Positive Influence

1. High School English Teacher Love of writing

2. Best Friend Love of reading and to

support my true self

3. Wife Total support, love and

respect of my life; increased
self-esteem

4. High School Music Teacher Love of music and to be a

good listener

5. College Tennis Coach Learned independence and

taking responsibility for my
actions

6. Elderly Lawyer associate Taught me the “ropes” and

made me feel apart of the
team

7. High School Principal Living example of how to

foster goodness and balance
in life

8. Father Taught me self-discipline

9. Mother Taught me to care for others

less fortunate
10. Mom-in-law Showed me respect for my
artistic talent and enlightened
my self-respect

11. ME Trust my inborn source for

good

12. Barack Obama Revealed how hard work and

determination can make
miracles happen...

This list can go on or stop short depending on each of our

individual lives. When I reviewed my list, I noticed how only 3
persons in that list also taught me how to make any money or
cherish power, social status, or own expensive things. Without
thinking, my role models (not people I haven’t personally met)
gave me the tools to become the next 21st century fireman.

It is with these tools, which constitute my new trade, that I

can cope with my life. And as the new firemen/women, we must
become mentors to others and seek more mentors for ourselves as
we get older. Most importantly, we must understand how to be
vulnerable, i.e., ready and open to fearful changes and transitions,
and brave, i.e., prepared and courageous to figuratively die for
each other and our own causes. If we have that kind of conviction,
then we have the characteristics of being fully alive.

As an example, my wife and I have taken up yoga. Sound

funny! Well, the most phenomenal thing has occurred. I can
stretch one inch farther since doing this nightly class once a week.
One buddy, who I hadn’t seen in some years observed, “Have you
grown or something. You seem taller.” And I have scoliosis.
Again, every form of growth takes practice. Moreover, my spouse
and I walk more together in our neighborhood. It allows us to
discuss stuff we don’t have time usually. We even walk to local
restaurants for dinner on occasion as a treat. And, of course, we
walk back home as a respite before retiring for the evening, to
settle our stomachs. Every little stride helps.

With this under our belts, most will now be overcoming

fears and low self-esteem to become champions of their own
freedoms and passions. Love will play a magical part in this
transformation and will act as a source to further development us
as new empowered persons in this new world. We must each be a
fruit bearing tree as our mutual orchards will begin to spread from
sea to shining sea and soul to shining soul.

Time Bomb #6 - “Positive Attitude!” Why?!

When I was a public middle school student, I was

considered lazy. I had normal schoolwork, average grades, but
preferred being socially “in” and “hung out” with the cool guys. I
didn’t know it then and may not have known it now, but I had
some severe problems with reading and maintaining my attention
span. I wasn’t hyper just unfocused. Then I took the entrance test
for the local private school and barely passed (they wanted to hold
me back a year) for the ninth grade.

I was so grateful for getting admitted to this tough

academically challenging school that I promised myself that I’d do
the best I could with what I had as a result. I was giddy with
excitement and enthusiasm to start fresh and do better than sub-par
marks, which I usually received.

When classes began, I didn’t care what anyone thought

about me and so I gave everything I had. I was a nobody with
nothing special. I participated in class, took notes, did all the
assignments, read every text, studied intensely and diligently; and
when the rankings were posted after a few months, I was
positioned at the top. I remained number one in the class (with a
4.0 GPA) for the entire year. When my classmates made fun of me
or tried to distract my goal, I just ignored them in a respectful and
pleasant way and kept to my program. In the end, they revered me
too, including my space, and stopped giving me such a hard time.
There, I developed friendly relationships, if not the most intimate
in my life.

When I re-examine that experience, I contribute most of

everything I did to my attitude. I had a positive outlook, never said
anything bad about anyone else, was enthusiastic and curious about
learning, and laughed and smiled a lot. I know that mental frame
of mind was the fuel and strength that maintained my course. I
could say it was my intelligence, but I was no smarter than any
other student in that class. My SAT scores were miserably low, so
how do you explain my grades? My consistent positive attitude,
reinforcing my pursuing this narrow path, nurtured me into
someone who was becoming smart. I didn’t start that way, but
strove for it with a purely upbeat perspective. Your mind is
incredibly powerful and gives you talents you never thought you’d
possess. (On the flip side, your mind can also act to stall your
progress and throw constant static and obstacles in and along your
steps. That deserves research on the ego and how deceptive that
“id” can be….)

Based on that. this is my speculation on what the new

America lacks. First, you need to believe in yourself. Doesn’t that
seem like a catch 22? How can you believe in yourself if you
don’t have any skills? Well, that’s just it. You must have faith.
Give yourself a small dose of faith. Forget about what the future
holds. Worrying about unknown events lurking just prolongs
atrophy. Snap out of it!!! Remember, it may not happen
immediately. Small steps are required and that takes time.
Practice some patience. If you are having trouble still, visit
multiple and a diverse set of churches and try to understand the
meaning of faith. This is what you are creating. Your person is
becoming its own church and steeple with its own faith and
spirituality. Your thread that you will weave in the interwoven
design of the new fabric of America begins here.

Second, you will need to think positive thoughts. If you try

and are happy with your efforts, look to what can be learned about
the experience. The other day rather than letting my mental
complaining get the best of me; I stopped and noticed what
illusions I was milling over, which were irrelevant. Then I said out
loud, “I feel great today.” And you know what, I did, and a suit of
confidence fell over me into place. So, turn the dilemma into an
opportunity to grow. You may need to take some time to socialize
with others, who are supportive and/or see this fresh way of
thinking and being. Avoid associating with the negative vibes that
bury the uplifting and inspiring stories in our world. What is the
news these days but war and death? What are the stories that sell
but betrayal and disease? Why do these topics have to be the
leading subjects of this day?

I no longer watch the news. In reality, how does it affect

me? It doesn’t. Sure, I need to know certain things, but this world
gives us enough of a challenge than being hit with more bad
reports. Again, now is time to create some good news. A classic
example is all the great performances that came out of the
Olympics. And, these awe-inspiring individuals from all across the
globe gave me hope and made me feel brave and unafraid. That’s
the key: to think and dwell on positive images to spark the action
that lies latent within your heart and soul.

Third, it is important to laugh at ourselves and in general.

My entire life, I have acted silly. And in some rare cases, my
whimsical antics have disappointed me. One example is during
college when I dressed up over Halloween like Adam Ant, the
punk rock star, and was jumping around a dining room /dance hall
being foolish when the girl I had a crush on walked into the party.
She saw me and left. I found out later from her friend that she
thought I was acting “uncool.” But that foolishness turned out to
be a blessing because it allowed me to understand who I really was
and with whom I really wanted to be associated.

In almost every other situation, my humor has offered great

joy and comfort. I love playing around and being silly with
children. They totally identify and shine up to me. Adults, in
certain circumstances, are unsure at first how to react but usually
crack a smile and chuckle as a visceral reaction or to be nice but
some look at me funny. I love being and doing nontraditional
things because it makes me feel young and energetic. Being me
restores my wellspring which feeds my soul. The children get it.
And this skill allows me to tap into kids and get them to respond
positively.

There have been studies which have revealed that humor

has a direct correlation to health. More is being done in this field,
and I believe we have only fathomed the superficial epidermal. A
whole universe of exploration and the inexplicable exists in this
field. Again, we must simply have faith and give in to its sway.
So, when you are having a bad day, find or do something that
provokes laughter, a smile, to break the trance.

Fourth, if you are living a life full of integrity, then you

should not have overwhelming worries or guilt about yourself.
Understandably, we all try to redeem ourselves for past wrongs
done from which we are trying to repent and be forgiven. But on
the other side, we must learn to forgive as well. It allows freeing
our mind to help us be in a place so that our vulnerability will
invoke our surrender to our true convictions and beliefs. As we
honestly deal with our neighbors, we can honestly cope with life’s
ordeals.

Moreover, I’ve heard of strategies of scribbling the things

that frustrate you and describe why that is so, and then burning
them in the fire as a way of letting go. It depends on your own
proclivities and tactics that will fit your style of coping.

It’s a matter of practice. The young firemen/women must

learn how to handle the water hose, how to approach a burning
building, how to resuscitate lives, and how to handle life and death
predicaments. As the firemen/women learn over time, he or she
gains more experiences to rely on, meets more mentors and friends
to count on, and eventually becomes a mentor and example for
others. This is the goal of the new America. We must be fully
prepared, confident in ourselves, and fully whole in our moral
convictions when the alarm goes off at the station house that calls
on our worthy services that precarious day.

And lastly, or fifth, we must never forget the acts of love in

our life. Love is the regenerating force that supplies the power to
make your human mechanism perform in a state of gracious living.
When we love another, we love everyone. By loving in this way,
we learn to love ourselves and others begin to love us. There is
nothing better than this intricate and phenomenal web of love. And
produced from this giving is the balance we so desperately need in
our daily lives. Miraculously, your attitude becomes one of love.
Close your eyes and imagine hugging someone in need, a close
friend, an enemy even, a disgruntled employee, an ostracized
family member, your elected council or town officials, your
significant other, child, city, state, country, the entire globe. It feels
super!

Time Bomb #7 - Do You Live with Purpose?

Here you are ... looking at your face first thing in the
morning in your bathroom mirror. You are slouched over,
exhausted, hair kinked out from a restless sleep, eyes full of sand,
and breath reeking. How in any higher power’s name can you
make it another day? You try to solve this problem with a shower,
coffee, and a bagel for your growling stomach; but when you
arrive at work, it’s the same old thing. You want to just go into the
next cubicle or office space and shoot the bull until lunch and then
coast until punching out. But then you encounter all the issues of
domestic strife upon your expired business day. All over again,
until before you know; you are in your sixties. And, you forget to
take all your sick days and vacation time, of which you only had
ten days out of 365 a year to enjoy.
 The rat race seems insane. It is! What is your purpose here
on this earth? I don’t know yours specifically, but I can sure tell
you that I’m tired of doing stuff that I don’t like, that makes me
complain, and that isn’t one of my dreams or passions in life.
Again, we sometimes are pulled back by money. It’s the glue that
keeps us stuck to the humdrum of our existence. Why? Because
you know no one in their right mind would help you out if you
took the road less traveled, as penned by Robert Frost (and which
should have become the new path for Americans).

Whose coat tails are you riding on? Or are you truly
independent in a pure sense.

Remember the folks that gave themselves for you and me

so that we can choose a life of freedom. Well, let’s do it! Choose!
You can die a clog in the machine or you can be someone.
Recognize that you are average. Begin from that vantage point. I
am not promoting each of us to save the world. No, rather, I am
saying live your life as brilliant as you are in your heart, and the
special meaning will arise. Look at the people that influenced you.
You carry their spirit with you whether you like it or not. This fact
may or may not be your duty to carry on the torch, but it is
minimally incumbent on you to do whatever little you can; that
you truly believe that you can. The effort matters!

Believe it or not: but the things on which you do have an

effect, like someone or something in your immediate circle of
family, friends, or business relations, act as the pebble dropped in
the pond of your life and ripples to other aspects. Your thoughts
and deeds are all pervasive. I never knew one of those firemen/
women in NYC or DC and I am motivated, inspired, as if I have no
control over the force, to write this short treatise for America in the
21st century.

I didn’t realize this epiphany until recently, but my father

relayed the fact that my grandfather, whom I never knew, started as
a fireman. He worked at one of the fire stations in DC and over
those years learned some carpentry skills. He was a young man in
his twenties and thirties before he left that position to earn more
money for his family. In a way, I wish he would have never left
because my father wouldn’t be so concerned about money, which
has transformed from a pimple to an ugly zit that has provoked
much turmoil among my siblings and with my parents. It’s not like
we were Bill Gates’ family, but all my father knows is that my
grandfather sacrificed his life, literally, for he died on the job, for
the betterment of his family. That had an impact.

My understanding was that grand-dad swung to the extreme

and lost focus by getting caught up in those certain worldly evils,
like pride and hubris. I can’t judge my predecessor. His dream
may have been to be an entrepreneur in the manufacturing
business. But I saw my father doing the same thing when he had a
heart attack on the job just recently. He survived and I don’t know
if he sees any difference in his life. But, all in all, my life falters
just the same. Until recently, my body was fine. Yet over the
years, I’ve been diagnosed with a plethora of ailments: gestational
reflux; scoliosis that requires chiropractic treatment and PT; mild
degenerative arthritis in my neck, knees and hands; and lastly,
ringing in my ears. Why? Is stress the culprit?? Lifestyle? Old
habits? Anger issues over the past and future? Holding false
expectations?? Living a lie all those years as an immature adult?
What? I give up…. Or is my time up?? Brain tumor or stroke
before I’ve had a chance to start this new race of marathon that is
life..?!!

If I ever did win the lottery, I would commit myself to form

a charitable non-profit and mold it like a collection bowl for
magnanimity. Like Elvis Presley, the entity would employ the
money as I would give a thousand dollars to the bum on the street
one day, a thousand to a total stranger who starves for a slice of
random kindness, more to the victims of a heinous crime, much
more to the families of destitute and needy in many forms due to
poverty, sickness or other. What a glorified form of spreading the
wealth. Instead of hoarding my piece of the pie and greedily
making more for me and my family only, I would be feeding my
piece of the pie to open mouths that are starving. Like tiny birds
….. so they could fly again with stronger wings than before. Is
that a crazy idea?

In this day and age, it sure is! But, that is my purpose in

this life. And it’s time to readjust my perspective. I believe I am
called upon to be the advocate for the disadvantaged. When I was
a kid, all the kids that had something wrong with them from a
socially acceptable perspective (like they were too skinny, looked
funny, fat, disabled, walked with a limp, wore ragged clothes, had
a lazy eye, or whatever) seemed to be magnetically drawn to me.
And I would respond to them in an open and safe way. I blame
this boomer-rang reaction on my aura. If I can actively do this and
write creatively and give back to mankind in some small way, I
will be on a mission from an universal source. Through me. No
one may ever know what I do for people, but that small effort still
ripples throughout the interconnectedness of this world. What I do
for one, including myself, I am doing for others.

Consider it that simple. When we live with a purpose,

which may evolve over time, we insure that our original stamp on
life makes its imprint somewhere and somehow and will be carried
in spirit for all the days of eternity, even if only on one individual
progeny or person who will carry your legacy. In this way, you
promote the reception of eternal life as it lives forever in this
earthly practice.

Time Bomb #8 - And You shall Receive Eternal Life...

There are no guarantees in this world. But we can at least

attempt to promise ourselves in many ways that whatever does
happen in the hereinafter, we are satisfied upon leaving this
realm ... six feet under. The thought really comes down to that age
old paradox: if you had three months to live, what would you do
to be happy, and are you satisfied that there is some form of living
legacy that you have gifted behind? (Let’s not presume that just
having a child fits that bill because I know a lot of children who
hate their parents and vice versa. However, being a good parent is
part of this story and amounts to a similar type of worthwhile
achievement.)

I have known people who in actuality were told by their

doctors that they had a limited time to live or that they would never
make it passed a certain age. These same people have struggled to
be a part of normal society and would give anything just to be
accepted as they are. Moreover, they start as being angry that a
higher force has imposed this unfortunate role on them. How
unlucky, I would imagine. Yet, the power of the human spirit and
will is miraculous. And they adjust and go on coping in this light.
This set of circumstances would really upset me and erupt tons of
questioning and struggling (or coming to terms) with hard issues
about my life, God, and death. We all don’t want to die, but in the
same breath, we don’t know how to live, or care to even try. We
just survive and mindlessly gorge our greed.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you visit your doctor for
your annual physical and a week later he or she calls you to make
another appointment based on one of the test results. You comply
and are waiting in the doctor’s office. They take you to his/her
office where he/she informs you that you have a rare disease that is
aggressive and has no cure. The prospects look dim and in another
month you will begin to feel its affects. You sit shocked,
emotionless, and helpless. But as of that second, your life is just
beginning anew.

There are many ways to respond and all are very normal.
However, we are given that same analysis the day we are born. We
are only given so many years to live. Most of us do not even
comprehend the magnitude of this happenstance until we are in our
forties. Some people never ever fully appreciate their time here at
any age.

Whenever I travel outside the US of A, I come back with an

amazingly revitalized view on my life. I have experienced
different cultures and their ways of existence. Some aspects of
those other countries I truly admire and some I am saddened by. I
am seeing this world through the eyes of another historical
telescope. When I return home, I realize how lucky I am and also
how much is wasted and how many conveniences, in America, are
taken for granted. We are the land of opportunity; but what about
the land of freedom, peace and justice. These concepts are being
perverted by all of us. This twisted fear has become the worst
disease of all because it eradicates the soul. All our faith, hope,
joy, and love disappear and get buried in a coffin to be lamented as
ashes or as cremated dust. When do we finally see it?? When
we’re lonely or experience loneliness. Then, we’ve lost our energy
and it may be too late. Now is the time to bring “Lazarus” back to
life.

And how are we to do this? We all want answers. We want

someone to tell us what to do. We long to be a pawn. And if that
is you’re longing, then be prepared for interment. You’ll get what
you deserve. Come to grips with dying because that’s what you
are achieving: your own living demise.

When we realize that our life is precious and limited, then

we may comprehend that it is time to infiltrate your body, mind,
and soul with the goodness that is abundant in life. Push yourself
to see the situation as if the doctor has given you the news of your
illness. At that moment, space and time will stop. You will be
floating in airlessness, a vacuum of uncertainty. What have you
then? Where are your possessions? The answer lies within you
and beyond you. As a twig floating buoyant on an endless flowing
river, you have experienced calm, rapids, rocks, draught, cold
water, light and darkness, and much more. So stop trying to
control the river and begin enjoying the ride. See it as a brighter
perspective, additional blessings, and decision making
opportunities that affect you and your happiness.

An amazing recent example is Flight 1549 where a pilot

Sullenberger choose to do the best with what he had been given
with less than 3 minutes to respond. In an interview, he has said
that he believed that all his life’s training amounted to dealing with
that moment in time. His experience, how he had handled that,
and how he addressed the present dilemma then, determined his
fate. And not to mention the impact and ramifications felt by the
surviving 150 passengers that owe him a debt of gratitude. Again,
he is a modern day hero, as were the rescue responders on the
Hudson to salvage the passengers from the sinking plane. And as
were the ones at the World Trade Center.

Once you have decided to move in this path, you will find
the direction changes. Life evolves with you in it. You must adapt
continually, offer your best in each instance, and believe in
yourself. In time, you will see your inner world transform into
your outer world like the wild flowers germinating in an open
field. And have you ever seen a field of wild flowers full of
sparkling colors of all hues and of all dimensions. The vista is
beauty beyond beautiful. And so it will be with you.

The interwoven placement of your thread and your

participation in the design of this new fabric, or way of life, is your
spirit pervading and permeating, inside and out, and along life’s
river. By your life, you are leaving your legacy, your imprint on
another’s soul, a small aspect of your character and integrity that
another will accept, identity with, and merge into in their own
composition. In turn, you generate eternal life for your soul in
others. We all know your physical body returns to the earth and
decays, but what lives on when you die is your spirit, your soul.

A fellow member of the civic organization in which I

belong recounted to me that the reason he joined was because of
his association with one of our older members, a prominent
business man, who would greet him cheerfully each year on a
street corner selling papers to raise funds for the less fortunate.
You see service is a grand example, and it re-energizes and re-
fortifies like some vitamin supplement. As Martin Luther King, Jr.
once said, and I paraphrase, you don’t need to be a rich person or
smart inventor to serve. Anyone can.

Do not try to make excuses that this is too overwhelming or

burdensome for you to appreciate, apply, or carry forward. Rather,
take a deep breath and start small. The process begins again by
planting that one seed, and then another, and maybe, that’s it. And
that’s all it takes, but the collective universal forces still
acknowledge your individual creative life force. What you think
will be heard in the stratosphere.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to overcome the grief those

victims’ families of the attacks on America must continue to
endure. I try to be more understanding to my father who has
congenital heart disease. I am humbled by the children that
weather terminal illnesses every minute of every day. What more
in this life do we need? I am thankful for every fireman/woman
and policeman/woman that gave their lives for our well being. It is
their spirit I accept and honor within me. I am trying to live my
life for my own happiness and the happiness of others. I now have
the spirit of others, who are still living and also deceased within
me. I didn’t have the chance to tell those that died how much they
had a positive effect on me. But, I can sure show and tell others in
my own way, and console myself that these passed souls will be at
peace .... in their sway over and within me, my thoughts, my
actions ... now and in the days to come.

Time Bomb #9 - How To Begin Again??

No matter how big or how small your particular dream or

dreams may appear, there is no time than the present.
Preliminarily, let’s come to terms with the magnitude of your goal.
Bottom Line: your plan doesn’t have to save the world. Contrary
to what Hollywood and other media outlets project, the simplest
goals are the hardest ones to achieve. However, they appear to be
the most worthy and soul fulfilling. So try to understand that your
dream can be to smile at least once a day. Or it could be to help
someone once a week. Or it could be to communicate better with
your spouse, your child, your family member, or employer or
associate. It doesn’t have to be to climb Mt. Everest. But, like the
hare and the turtle, perseverance will win the day. And who
knows, all those drops in your well-spring bucket will amount to
an overflowing wealth of water.

When you look at your life, you must realize that it doesn’t
matter what you look like, how old or young you are, or what
tastes you have. What matters is that you have come to a critical
juncture, or as some say, the moment of truth. We must decide
how do we begin this new journey? Let us take it in steps, yes,
small steps, as espoused.

First, we need to understand what it means to be brave.

Part of our motto in America is “home of the brave.” This phrase
has been and continues to be expended to make us who we are; so
it begs the question: is it needed anymore? Absolutely! Let’s go
back to basics. In Webster’s, brave means “willing to face danger,
difficulty, the new and unknown; fearlessness (which has the
broadest application considered here); constant readiness to deal
with things courageously by reason of a resolute spirit.” Ibid.
Simply, we need to be willing; we need to be ready; we need to
have an open mind and spirit, and we need not to be afraid and
have courage to move forward in that nature.

Second, we must rediscover our thread. Before we can sew

and sow a new America, our whole beings need to be re-
determined. In other words, we have to realize what our mission in
life has become. Remember this mission statement may change
and evolve, which is fine. We can adapt it to our circumstances as
we age. But, based on the ideas I have presented in this
commentary, those aspects of mentorship, attitude, and eternal life
can be used to assist in your development of purpose and vision.
So, who are you? What are you meant to do? Seek silence! Look
within and listen to your heart’s voice.

Third, let’s talk with our friends, spouses and family

initially. You will find some people that are doubtful, suspicious,
and some that help you without any question. You won’t
necessarily know where your support will come from or in what
shape, but hopefully it will arrive. For those who feel they have no
one, are totally lonely and friendless (including family), then
recreate a list of your greatest influences. Try to contact any of
your mentors as well, if still alive. Really try to think why you
believe you are all alone in this worldly venture. What have you
done to provoke this? And then, look to whom you sense you may
have been a mentor. Search for those people you’ve influenced
called, mentees. I’ve learned more from children than they may
have from my tutorage. If still stuck, locate a counselor (like a
minister, psychotherapist, or barber/beautician) or anyone you feel
comfortable talking with. You may be surprised.

Fourth, after you have presented your ideas, then test the
waters. You may want to research your passion as in talking with
others who are doing it, or have similar roles and situations. You
may need to volunteer at groups where your interests lie to see how
you like the environment or in what way you digest the experience.
This morsel may not be what you thought. But, work through that
level since it may evolve into a stepping stone to a new horizon. I
have been told that excellent results are 90% homework and
preparation and 10% performance. While you are reaching out
initially toward your dreams, what we are doing here is the
homework part. But, in this case, make it fun. And as you pursue
each step, you will surmount plateaus that offer more options.

In my transition from lawyer to teacher, I first volunteered

at out local church to instruct sunday school at the middle grade
age. It allowed me to receive experience for my resume I lacked.
Moreover, I substituted part-time at a special ed facility to
supplement my training. I also engaged an old friend from high
school who employed me to act as assistant coach to his varsity
tennis team after work. Added up, these experiences gave me the
boast I required as preparation to getting hired as a teacher in a
private prep school. That stretched over a 2-3 year period. The
transition doesn’t happen overnight often times.

Fifth, during this gradual resurrection of your soul, you will

develop confidence. Believing in yourself and your skills will take
actual palpable form. The feeling is almost as if you can touch it;
and at this stage, others do see your love too. Practice the art of
surrender to this higher Being. Utilize prayer as a tool to directly
communicate to it. Open these innate airways as a better form of
utilizing an Internet, cyberspace, arousal. As a result, this type of
surfing becomes contagious in all respects. So, accept these
characteristics in yourself and be grateful, thankful always.

And sixth, start living a life that is truly free. The best
definition of “free” is to be at liberty, independent, and open to all.
Wow! You have become my hero. To say that you may exhibit
these qualities is to be in reality, “living life,” no matter what your
particular limitations. And with regard to your enemies and
yourself, forgive them, one by one. Take time to address those
knawing grievances of old. By letting go of those prisoners, you
release more space inside to fill with love and be who you’re truly
meant to be. This type of freedom is for everyone no matter what
your status on this earth. No longer will money confine you as
your master or indebted keeper. That tragic fear will
metamorphosis into abundant love.

In the creation of America’s new fabric, you symbolize

your own unique and special thread. It is your being in all its
representation and brilliance that is a critical strand in the overall
design that should be America in this millennium. We are the
firemen/women, the every day, real heroes in this world. Our
lives, in connection with so many other diverse lives, replace the
torn and ripped American flag with one that is re-fortified and full
of each of us: in all our magnificence, no matter what.

Time Bomb #10 - Go Out and Conquer Your Fear

The judgement is not for us to decide the fate of our

neighbor. We can be there to love, support, and help him or her.
And, we must not neglect ourselves and any current close relations.
Life is the ultimate balancing act, and we have become the actors/
actresses of our own TV sitcom, movie, video, or theatrical play.
But the difference is, in this case, we don’t receive a gold plaque
for the best performance. We receive the “real deal” in its most
intangible and tangible forms. The act is indeed unbelievable, yet
has already instilled its life filling oxygen in our system to afford
us the necessities to begin.

In my case, after practicing law for eight years, I decided to

become an English teacher for middle and high school students. I
employed this same technique, I have described, to get me through
my journey. After several years of teaching and acclimating
myself to this new way of life, I discovered that I had no debt.
When I was making the most money, I had uncontrollable credit
card bills. As a teacher, I learned to live within my means and
accept a revised priority of items. Eventually, I researched the
publishing industry and wrote and self-published children picture
books on health, acceptance, and tolerance. The first year I made
nothing and spent my time doing ‘my homework’. The second
year I took home exactly what I made as a teacher, thanks to the
support of my friends and greatest influences.

In my third year, I didn’t know what it would bring. Now, I

see what hope brought me. I have evolved from a self-publisher to
a full fledged writer and presenter. I now give speaking
presentations from programs I have created. This is my bread and
butter to allow me to live my dream. What started in DC, has
relocated to Detroit in 2004, and I had to reinvent myself again.
The road has not been easy. The most difficult part was when I
fought this new fabric and clung to my past comforts and illusions
of life. Deluded!! Yet, slowly, my career was mimicking my
emotional growth, and I felt it moving forward in great light. Most
entrepreneurs would have not invested in such an amorphous long
term vision since the strategy runs on such a low margin of return.
But the decisions are my choices……and I am happy.

And some days, I need to remind myself of how happy I

am. Outloud.

I understand circumstances in people’s lives are different.

My wife and I have been able to survive. As mentioned, I work
full time for my company, Dream Publishing, and my wife also has
a job. This second stable income has allowed us to do the extra
things in life that we wouldn’t normally be able to afford. As we
do not have children, we spend this time traveling. My wife’s
passion. It really depends on your true personality as to where
things will need to be adjusted. But, the game is a team effort and
my wife is totally supportive of my desires as I am of hers. I
initiate focusing more on her wants and suggest to her to strive for
different career moves in her life. I say this in light of the fact that
she readily states that she is achieving her dreams every day:
simply to be happy and in love, which in its own way, is her
calling. But, she also aspires to her mother’s philosophy to be an
independent working woman, equal in every respect of a man, if
not surpassing that standard. And as the Director of her division,
she is applying that skill. What can I say, I feel lucky and blessed.
These attributes are out there for you too.

Over the last few years, I struggled with not meeting the
goals of society’s definition of success. My company has never
made a profit. I realized that my strength is not marketing and
business management, but rather creating and writing verse and
prose. I am at a stage in my career, again, to redefine my purpose
and focus on peeling more layers off the union of my existence.
Each year, month, day, and minute is ever changing. My weakness
is trying to eat the proverbial elephant in one bite. I want to do so
much that it shuts me down. That is why I re-read this text to re-
examine what needs to be maintained or repaired, like a used car.
The result: a new healthy perspective.

Thinking that my writing does matter in a positive way, that

what I am doing is good, that staying the course in the now, as best
I can, does have powerful consequences. I’m still around. In
business. Go figure for a ‘fish out of water’ like me. And
developing more time to play tennis, my favorite sport, and to
walk, to write, to create, to be more loving to my wife, by touching
her soft skin, stroking her hair, and kissing and dancing with her on
a whim. Love begets love. Mark my words....

So, it is with this end that you should begin. We are all in
this together and for each other. I congratulate you and am grateful
for allowing me to have known you in this way. Isn’t it time to
unearth the real you?? And if you elect to walk this walk, how
great a gamble (for you only have one life to live), as you are at
this present second. Scale the hard exterior, peal the complexities
of your onion shell, scrap off the baggage that weighs you down,
and burn it all up in a trash heap. Time is of the essence.

Mythical fire heals. And tragically, as a catalyst, the

tragedy we witnessed that September morn and the havoc it has
wreaked to this day domestically and on foreign soil has caused
pain and agony. But, destiny or not, these horrific deeds presented
to us a mirror of reflection. Find, locate the symbolic sewing
needle or spindle, and weave. Do it now, do it with a humble
prayer, true focus, and your best diligence.

What more can one ask???

Robert Allen

Copyright 2009 All rights reserved.

Dream Publishing Co. has innovated itself once again. Please visit
www.dreampublish.com to see how Rob Lyles is creating a
spectrum of visions for today’s society. Norms and values are
constantly evolving, so let us resolve to address the “suffering”
that make us who we are. For in the experience, we should accept
ourselves and then paint ourselves with this past to better free
ourselves as true living artists from the evils the world has to offer.

Join the peaceful Revolution !!!!!!!!