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Your Majesty Syndrome

Your Majesty Syndrome

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Published by Christine Stoddard
A humorous descirption of a fake disease that certain men suffer from. Learn more about Christine and her creative endeavors at www.christinestoddard.com.
A humorous descirption of a fake disease that certain men suffer from. Learn more about Christine and her creative endeavors at www.christinestoddard.com.

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Published by: Christine Stoddard on Dec 31, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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10/13/2012

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"Identifying and Treating Your MajestySyndrome"By Christine StoddardWe've all been there, ladies: you've justfinished another excruciating day at schoolor the office. You feel defeated in yourfallen hair, your pinching shoes, andmelting make-up. You failed theexam...even though you watched the movieAND read the book. Your boss was toobusy checking out his bimbo secretary topay attention to your brilliant report. Somewitch bought the last diet soda from thevending machine, and Mystery Meat's theonly item on the cafeteria menu. All youwant to do is roll off the pantyhose andpamper yourself chick flick style.But you dread coming home, alreadypredicting the terror that awaits you:
 
unthawed steak, unbathed children, and anunfulfilled ruler of his own imaginarykingdom. The last item concerns you most.The king of your proverbial castle habituallyleaves the 'fridge open, the toilet seat up,and his dirty socks on the dining roomtable. Okay, most women (and men, for thatmatter) would call that "typical guybehavior." But your man's annoying habitssurpass normal "guy things." You're notsure if he just watched "Monty Python andthe Holy Grail" too many times or if hismother dropped him on his head whilewatching re-runs of "Fractured Fairytales."You just know that your man is thedefinition of a "royal pain."He's not just a jerk, though; a medicalexplanation does exist. The disease isknown as Your Majesty Syndrome. Your
 
boyfriend or husband may suffer from YourMajesty Syndrome if he exhibits any of thefollowing behavior:*Insisting on being addressed as YourMajesty or Your Royal Highness eventhough his name isn't Sebastian AugustusCornelius Baudelaire IV, or even Richard orCharles.*Ignoring people if they do not bow beforespeaking to him.*Thinking he's related to Henry VIII, eventhough he lacks even the remotest claimsto a blue blood heritage (e.g., his personalhistory: grew up in a trailer park behind aWal-Mart, dropped out of high school to gethis tattoo license, failed the tattoo exambecause he punctured his customer's eye,ended up working as a security guard at ahunting supply store, served time forstealing naughty magazines from a

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Amanda Juric added this note
That was really cool. I will admit that some of us women have that syndrome too. I am one of them...there are times where I have to fight with myself about getting better at serving others...what is a silly petty empress to do when she wants to better herself for a good beneveloent outcome for all in her land? She prays to the true King of Kings to help her learn Humilityand servitude.
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