!

"
#$#
!" %&'
#$# ()
%& *+(
Never, '

Waning Moon
in the nearly four hundred years now since I was born,

have I ever seen anything to make me doubt that

God exists in some form or the other.

Not even the reflection in the mirror...

By all accounts we're damned regardless.

But I still hope...

by YborJen
2009

Waning Moon
 THIS IS A FAN FICTION NOVEL

IT WAS PRINTED AT LULU.COM

FOR ONLY THE COST OF PRINTING
AND AT NO PROFIT TO THE AUTHOR

DISCLAIMER:
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the
property of their respective owners. The original characters and
plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way
associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media
franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Because this is a CANON STORY, use of situations and

dialogue from Ms. Meyer’s novels is purely meant to keep the
narrative in canon. No plagarism is intended. As much as
possible, I tried to write these scenes from Carlisle's perspective
and/or interject my own ideas into them.

I hope you enjoy the result.

1
2
~~ WANING MOON ~~

By

YborJen

3
4
 This book is dedicated to:

Stephenie Meyer for creating characters we all love

My husband whose undying love carries me every day

My mother who is still my editor and my original fan
My sister and sister-in-law who introduced me to Twilight
My friends in Tampa who are unswervingly supportive
The Appinellis who encouraged me
The Frogs who kept me laughing

Mr. Peter Facinelli for an inspired performance

Special thanks to:

Kristi, Heather, Sarah, Drea, Alexis, Kimberly
and my readers and friends at TWILIGHTED.NET
Beta Admittedly Obsessed
Junior Beta myimm0rtal

5
6
TABLE OF CONTENTS
~~ PART I ~~

Chapter 1
1661

Chapter 2
1666

Chapter 3
1671

Chapter 4
1678

Chapter 5
1679

Chapter 6
1686

7
Chapter 7
1721

Chapter 8
1752

Chapter 9
1770

Chapter 10
1770

Chapter 11
1784

8
~~ PART I ~~
The Old World

9
10
 CHAPTER 1
~~1661~~

Carlisle’s breath clouded in front of him as he stepped

out of the carriage and his trunks were unloaded and set just
outside the parsonage. The small square windows of the house
that faced the street were completely covered with drapes on
both the first and the second floor. He looked up at the noontime
sun as it peeked through the gray winter clouds. Not a single ray
of sunlight was able to penetrate the Reverend’s house. That was
how it had been since his wife died giving birth to Carlisle.
As he paid the driver and then watched the carriage drive
away, Carlisle wished for just a moment that he was still riding
in it. Then he shook his head at himself. He knew why he was
home: he had to try.
Carlisle opened the front door and the heavy hinges of
the wide wooden door creaked quietly. He had to bend slightly to
enter the old parsonage which had housed three previous
generations of pastors. The Reverend was not visible when he
entered. Carlisle was certain his father had received his letter

11
detailing the date and time of his arrival. He hated to admit it,
but he was a little relieved that the Reverend had chosen not to
meet him.
After unpacking, Carlisle went to the market and got
some eggs and flour. During the rest of the daylight hours he
cleaned the house. When the Reverend still did not return he
settled himself with a blanket around his shoulders at the kitchen
table and read the New Testament with a single candle as he
waited. When the church bells tolled at nine in the evening
Carlisle closed the book of Luke and walked upstairs to bathe.
He was still awake when he heard the front door slam
just below his bedroom after midnight. He was angry with
himself for worrying about his father, but he did not allow
himself to be angry about the fact that his father had completely
avoided him on the day of his return.
The Reverend’s heavy footfalls on the stairs brought
back profound, onerous fears. Carlisle had to grit his teeth to
keep his heart rate under control. The Reverend reached the top
of the stairs and slowly walked over to his son’s door. Carlisle
squeezed his eyes shut and worked to control his breathing. A
few seconds later, which felt like an eternity, the Reverend
walked away from his son’s bedroom door. Carlisle angrily
wiped a few beads of sweat from his brow. He did not fall asleep
until after he heard the bells for three in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12
 Carlisle threw back his blanket and washed his face as
the church bells tolled six. He had slept fitfully. He prayed that
his father had not heard his dreams. His dorm mates had woken
him several times when his father visited him in his nightmares.
He was taking the morning bread out of the stove and
the soft-boiled eggs from the kettle of boiling water just as his
father made his way down the stairs at half-past seven. Carlisle
turned and stood up to his full height as the Reverend entered the
kitchen. He had not seen his father in two years and had had a
growth spurt around his eighteenth birthday. He was now the
same height or just a bit taller than his six-foot tall father;
however, he did not yet compare with the Reverend’s brawn or
girth.
The Reverend gave his son no words of approval,
greeting, or dismissal; he simply sat down at the end of the
kitchen table and waited. Carlisle turned to the stove and put two
eggs on a plate and cut a large chunk of bread. He could feel the
Reverend watching every move he made.
After Carlisle put the plate in front of his father he stood
near him and waited for some acknowledgement. The Reverend
looked back at his son with slightly narrowed eyes and ate his
entire meal before he finally spoke. “My son, your Reverend
requires a new cross for his fortress of God.”
Carlisle recognized the strange shine in the Reverend’s
eyes. It was the kind of dark light that he saw when his father

13
was preparing a crusade, like his crusade against the false
religion. Carlisle recoiled slightly from his father’s fervor and
the old man saw it.
“My son does not share my passion? The passion of
God?” The Reverend demanded at the top of his voice,
slamming his hand on the table.
Carlisle clenched his jaw; there was nothing he could do
to stop the Reverend. His father was determined to set the tone
from their first meeting. “Father, I just… sometimes wonder if
Christ would… persecute any child of God.”
The Reverend jumped up and with the backside of his
fist struck his son across the face sending him flying toward the
kitchen wall. Carlisle hit the wall headfirst; narrowly missing the
searing heat of the iron stove, and fell to the ground. His lips
were swollen and bleeding from his father’s strike and blood also
ran from a laceration on his forehead from where he hit the wall.
Carlisle pushed himself up off the floor groaning with pain. He
turned over and slowly looked up at his father, whose massive
frame loomed above him. Carlisle pushed himself up the wall,
and stood unsteadily as he forced the building dizziness and
nausea out of his mind.
The Reverend took several steps closer to his son, until
he was inches from his face. Carlisle refused to flinch. “My son
WILL do the work of God. We will fight the demons. We will
send those who are NOT the children of God back to the abyss
of hell.”

14
 He lifted his hand in front of his son’s face; it was balled
into a fist, but he did not beat his son with it. Instead he
displayed the gold ring symbolizing his church authority.
Carlisle examined his father’s face: the Reverend’s deeply
wrinkled brow was wide and high, his green eyes were narrow
and shadowed by heavy brows, and his full lips were turned
down into a permanent frown. Carlisle was searching for any
sign of resemblance, seeking once again to reassure himself that
there was still no connection between them. Satisfied, he
defiantly pulled himself up into his full height again before he
kissed his father’s ring depositing a little blood from his lips onto
the shining gold.
The Reverend’s eyes narrowed. “Go and do what I have
commanded, my son. God told me again of the demons among
us. We will find them and burn them. We will continue our
mission tomorrow under your new cross of Christ.” The
Reverend then walked to the door, put on his black hat and coat
and left his son bleeding in the dining room.
Carlisle quickly lurched toward the back door of the
dark parsonage and vomited his bread in the dirty snow just
outside as the church bells tolled eight o’clock. His head
throbbed from the pain and ringing in his ears, and his throat
burned. Carlisle leaned back against the doorframe looking up
beyond the tall wooden and brick buildings of their
neighborhood to the gray snow-heavy clouds over the city. He
wiped his hand across his brow again and found that the bleeding

15
had not stopped. He applied some relatively clean snow to his
wounds and then held his sleeve up against his head. After about
twenty minutes, the bleeding finally slowed enough that he felt
he could stand up to find a cloth to bind his head with. After
wrapping the wound, Carlisle retrieved his hat and trudged out
onto the streets of London.
The wide-brimmed hat was painfully ill-fitted over the
bandage, but he ignored this as he walked with the edge pulled
down over his eyes through the churchyard and then turned
south. The cloud cover overhead was breaking for the morning
sun, but the increasingly bright sky could not stop Carlisle’s
thoughts drifting darkly to the Reverend.
As time went on, Carlisle thought of him more and more
as a possessed madman and less and less as his father. The
Reverend had never remarried, he had apparently spent his love;
all that was left was hate. Carlisle had accepted long ago that his
father would never forgive him, but the Reverend’s sheer malice
toward him caused him to wonder if this new cross he was now
charged with was, in fact, his cross to bear.
Carlisle turned east again onto Thames Street heading
toward the local carpenter. He was not going to pay for a
commission but the carpenter still was the supplier for the finest
raw materials. Carlisle mused about how it was that he could
attend boarding school, study science and religion, and when he
returned to London that his father reduced him to carpentry. He
supposed that he should be thankful his hands had become a

16
shadow of Christ’s: not a scholar’s, imparting knowledge and
writing books; instead they were a carpenter’s hands.
Carlisle had learned the craft from an old master who
had attended the Reverend’s church when Carlisle was a boy. To
escape the Reverend’s wrath as a child he would often run away.
His favorite refuge was the carpenter’s shop. He would spend
hours in the old man’s company, and though he desperately tried
to hide it, the old man knew what Carlisle was running from. The
carpenter taught him to take out his anger and frustration on the
wood – not on people, and not on God.
Finally, Carlisle turned in to the carpenter’s shop: the old
man was gone, and his son was now running the business. The
carpenter’s son was ten years older than Carlisle and had
witnessed his childhood. Carlisle knew that he would be
recognized but did not look anyone in the eye because he did not
want to answer any questions. He quickly found the ideal wood
and purchased it. The carpenter’s son was wary of Carlisle’s
secretive manner, but he personally drove him back home with
his purchase, and then helped him set up the wood so it could be
worked in the churchyard. In the broad daylight the man’s gaze
lingered for a moment on Carlisle’s swollen jaw and noted the
bandage, and then he shook his head and left without another
word.
Without stopping to eat, Carlisle immediately stripped
down to his billowing white shirt and dark breeches, and began
working the wood under the noon sun, shaving it down until it

17
was smooth. He grunted with every stroke as he planed the
wood, and suddenly he discovered that tears streaming down the
sides of his face were mixing with sweat and blood escaping
from his bandage.
“Carlisle Cullen, what is your mission today, brother?”
A cheerful baritone voice rang out behind him.
Carlisle closed his eyes and shook his head. Vile,
gossiping carpenter’s son. The visitor’s smile quickly
disappeared when Carlisle finally turned and faced him.
“Sweet Mary. Go inside the parsonage and let me attend
to your wounds,” Arthur whispered, his small, brown eyes
widening with horror. Arthur was Carlisle’s longtime boyhood
friend and worked as a blacksmith just a few doors down from
the carpenter shop Carlisle had visited that morning. The
carpenter’s son had gone straight to Arthur when he returned
from delivering Carlisle’s wood.
Carlisle grimaced. “I think the Reverend prefers that I
carry my burdens and not try to wash them away, Arthur.”
The brawny, five and half foot man folded his thick arms
across his chest and gave his old friend a hard frown. “The
Reverend prefers that you carry his burdens, especially on your
face. Which, according to my father, resembles your angelic
mother far too clearly for the Reverend to bear it.”
Carlisle shifted his weight but did not respond.
Arthur sighed, ran his hands through his short brown
hair, and then motioned toward the wood. “Might I at least share

18
your tasks?”
Carlisle looked to the snowy ground. “Your offer is kind
and selfless, my friend. But I think solitude is more conducive to
my penance for my transgressions against God’s work.”
“Do not repent for sins you did not commit,” Arthur
grumbled. Then he nodded; he could see he was not going to
break his old friend’s melancholy with mere gestures. “I am glad
to see you have finally come home. I’ll see you at the gathering
tomorrow, then, Brother Cullen.”
Carlisle nodded, and then turned back to his work,
shaving down the wood and making more and more long curly
strips fall to the cold ground.
That night Carlisle finished the cross by treating the
wood to kill any insects inside and to harden it. He had decided
against ornate carvings and allowed the planes of the wood to
direct his tools creating the cross. He stood in front of his
finished project, still dirty and bloody from his efforts and
injuries, and realized only then how the ends rounded to a point
looked almost dagger-like. Its possible relationship to this
strange new mission made it quite foreboding. Carlisle could
already feel the weight of the five-foot cross on his shoulders.
His eyes were drawn up to the old cross that still hung
over the altar. His father had carved the simple straight lines and
beveled edges when he had married his true love. After his
mother’s death, over the years from when he was a small child,
the cross had developed a double meaning for Carlisle. When he

19
prayed to it, he was praying to God but also to his mother. And
sometimes he was praying only to her. Carlisle prayed once
again to the symbol on the wall.
I need to know your plan for me. Am I to serve in the
church? Am I to leave this place and return to learning? Am I to
stay and take care of my father’s community? Please, let me
know how to fulfill your wishes.
Carlisle pulled down the old cross and then held back a
curse because he had dripped his own blood all over it. He wiped
off as much as he could, but there was still a stain. He placed the
new cross over the altar, and set the old one over the church
entrance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next few years, however, Carlisle’s prayers were

unanswered. He endured the Reverend’s gaze, and his fist. He
had done so as a child before leaving for school, but as an adult
the Reverend seemed to find more and more reasons to beat his
son down. Carlisle knew that his few friends in the community
were aware of his torment, but none could find a way to aid him,
and he was not sure he wanted them to suffer any of the
Reverend’s wrath on his behalf.
As an additional curse, instead of having his educated
son help with teaching or speaking, the Reverend saw fit to
charge his son with aiding him in recording the trials of demons

20
in the community. Witches and vampires were being burned at
the stake. Carlisle did what he could from his subservient
position to save innocent lives, pushing the Reverend when he
knew the mad old man was in error and often suffering because
of it. Arthur frequently assisted Carlisle when he was concussed
or required the services of the local surgeon.
One afternoon Arthur found Carlisle unconscious on his
doorstep with a black eye and a slightly askew nose. He could
see a trail of blood where Carlisle had dragged himself to
Arthur’s house all the way from the parsonage. Arthur was lucky
to have enough brawn to move Carlisle’s nearly twelve stone in
dead weight. Arthur removed Carlisle’s shirt and found large,
swollen bruises that, when probed, woke Carlisle and elicited
cries of pain due to broken ribs.
“Carlisle, you’re twenty-two this week. You are surely
now more than a match in size for your father. Why do you not
fight back, brother?” Arthur whispered, holding back tears.
“Turn… the other… cheek,” was all Carlisle would say
through gritted teeth. Arthur did what he could to alleviate the
physical pain, for he could do nothing to soothe any of the other
hurt Carlisle suffered from.
Two days after Arthur found him, Carlisle was sitting in
church on a Wednesday morning when he glanced to his right,
and caught Elenor, Arthur’s pretty sister, looking at him again.
He looked back to the altar and did not see her expression deflate
as she realized finally that Arthur was right: Carlisle’s heart

21
could not be touched.
While he was staring at the cross he had created, all he
could think about was the old cross that now hung over the
entrance to the church. He felt as if that cross was boring into the
back of his skull: it demanded that he never concede defeat, the
congregation needed him now more than ever. The old cross had
more power over him than did the Reverend, who was standing
in front of him.
“Today my heart is full of God’s fury!” the Reverend
cried, beating his pulpit. “Vampires and demon witches are
among us! We must fight the Devil who takes human form!” The
Reverend frowned at the congregation. “Some people,” he gazed
down on his son who looked away, “believe that I have
sometimes misread the signs. But I know that any man or woman
may be taken as a servant of darkness!”
Carlisle’s eye was still rimmed with a green shadow and
his ribs broken because he had challenged the Reverend on a
case of a young boy who was slow in thought and action.
Carlisle knew that his mother drank more ale than water, and he
felt the child had suffered in the womb; which was a common
problem where the water pumps were often putrid. His father
saw it as possession by the devil, which carried a sentence of
torture and imprisonment. Carlisle had refused to take the child
into custody. The Reverend had punched him out and beaten him
with his walking stick.
“Today God showed me the answer! I am appointing his

22
servant Carlisle to now be the judge of what is holy, and what is
of hell in our community!” the Reverend said in a tone that only
Carlisle recognized was mocking. Sincere and relieved applause
erupted from the congregation and Carlisle was genuinely
startled. He did not look up at his father for fear that he would
smile.
Arthur sought him out after the service and put a careful
hand on Carlisle’s shoulder. “I think our prayers have been
answered, brother. You are now in a place where you can truly
aid the innocent and defend the weak.” Carlisle gave his friend
one of the first half-smiles that Arthur had seen on his lips in
years.
Soon afterward, however, Carlisle found out that several
prominent members of the church, who also paid significant
tithes, had finally confronted the Reverend after Arthur reported
to them what Carlisle had done to save the boy and what he had
suffered because of it. They had demanded that Carlisle be put in
charge because they agreed with his judgment. He was mortified
that they had intervened on his behalf, but no one even
whispered about the incident ever again, and the supportive
smiles and nods he received from the congregation heartened
him.
Carlisle did exactly as he intended and protected the
innocent, which resulted in very few prosecutions – and this did
not please his father. However, the Reverend had never
anticipated the possibility that Carlisle would actually gain

23
popularity by not prosecuting witches. He tried to remove his
son several times, but the church elders refused. Even with the
Reverend speaking against his own son in the pulpit, when
Carlisle spoke at the trials, even more heads nodded. The young
man had found his voice.
It was not that Carlisle disagreed with his mission –
quite the opposite – but his methods were different from the old
man’s. He compiled evidence, made lists, tested theories, and
especially noted mysterious deaths or activity.
One morning there was a knock on the parsonage door.
Carlisle opened it to find Arthur, pale and drawn, and he was
instantly alarmed.
“What is it, my friend? How can I help you?” He put a
bracing hand on Arthur’s shoulder.
Arthur’s lip trembled slightly, “My… sister… She is
dead.”
Carlisle’s heart gave a small thump. It was an old feeling
of guilt for being the cause of Elenor’s suffering. Carlisle had
never openly refused Elenor; he had simply avoided her
completely. He looked to the ground as he wondered if he was to
blame.
“She was found on the riverbank. She had been out in
the afternoon to the market, and was expected back within an
hour, but she never returned.” Carlisle allowed himself to be
slightly relieved, and then Arthur stepped forward and seized
Carlisle’s shirt. “You must come to my house,” he whispered

24
harshly. “I must show you something I found on her.”
Carlisle was taken aback. What could possibly be
mysterious about how Elenor had died? But he immediately
retrieved his coat and hat, following Arthur’s unsteady gait
through the streets.
There was weeping in the house, and Carlisle could
smell the stench of the Thames before he entered the bedroom
where the body was laid. She was certainly freshly dead, but
Arthur pulled up her right sleeve and beckoned for Carlisle to
come closer. There on her wrist was a fresh semicircular human
bite. It was directly above a primary system of veins, which
Carlisle had seen in a textbook drawing of a dissection once in
school.
Carlisle stood up straight and looked down into Arthur’s
fearful face. Arthur’s voice shook as he asked, “Is it what I think
it is, my friend? Are we among vam —”
Carlisle raised his hand to stop the word being spoken
out loud so near the rest of the family. Then he leaned closer.
“Show me where she was found, immediately.”
They walked among the muck and filth by the Thames
until Arthur noticed Elenor’s basket near one of the sewer drains
and fell down crying in despair. Carlisle felt immense
compassion for his friend’s suffering, but quickly made note of
where he was, and how many other drains were nearby, before
gathering up his friend and delivering him back home.
That night, he sat alone near the street with a good view

25
of the sewer drains, waiting. The moon was high so he had taken
care to guard his position and hide his shadow. His eyes never
left the drain entrance. He mindlessly chewed on a chunk of
bread, afraid to think, or even wonder at what he was doing. And
then, there was movement.
Carlisle expected a creature, or a specter perhaps, or
maybe he hoped that would be what he found. Instead, he saw
what appeared to be the shadow of an infirm old man, hobbling
out of his filth-covered lair in the sewers. But then the man
suddenly ran off at a speed Carlisle’s eyes did not believe
matched his apparent health and was gone. In shock, he panted
as he realized he had been holding his breath. He continued to
wait, seeking more evidence, wanting to be certain of his
suspicions. Within the hour, before the church bells rang the
dawn, the creature returned, dumping another corpse before
retreating to his lair. How careless a murderer, Carlisle thought,
not even attempting to dispose of… but then two others emerged
and also appeared to attack the corpse and then withdrew.
Vampires. Carlisle leaned back against the building and
ran a hand through his blonde locks. He had seen his first true
demon. He ran all the way back to the parsonage, afraid to look
behind him.
That night Carlisle fell on his knees in front of the old
cross and prayed; but finally, he turned to the cross he had
shaped with his own hands. He thought of the mission it had
symbolized, which he had fought for the past five years, and

26
suddenly realized that he did have a real enemy. When the dawn
finally broke that morning, Carlisle went back to the parsonage
and spoke to the Reverend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next evening Carlisle, Arthur, the Reverend, and ten

others from the church stood outside the sewers with their
torches in hand. They did not have Carlisle’s patience, and soon
the Reverend’s nerves wore thin. “I command you in the name of
Holy God to reveal yourself, vile creature of Lucifer!!” he
yelled. “You have taken our sister in Christ! You shall pay for
your crimes!! Reveal yourself!!!”
No response came. As the hunting party exchanged
glances indicating they did not know what to do next, suddenly a
low hiss came from the darkness. Carlisle turned, and saw
something in the depths of the sewer… red eyes.
“Stultus bestias! Fugite!!”
A creature bolted from the sewer opening, and Carlisle
looked after it but then turned back to the sewer. Where are the
others?
Almost as if they had heard him, two more creatures
growled and snarled as they ran in the direction of the first one.
The hunters followed it with Carlisle leading the way. He was
the tallest man of the group, nearly the tallest in the entire
community, and he had the longest legs. He easily outpaced

27
them all and closed in on the vampires.
The Reverend had said the vampires must be burned to a
cinder to kill them. Their speed and indestructibility prevented
any other route of destruction. Carlisle planned to take the
lagging vampire down and hold him until they could bind his
limbs like a lamb or a pig; then they would pursue the others and
burn them all.
Carlisle realized that he was catching up to their targets,
and he was so elated he ran harder. Then suddenly, the lead
vampire turned his head, and he realized they had been allowing
him to catch up, luring him farther from the rest of the hunting
party. He slid to a stop as the creature in front abruptly changed
directions and the other two followed.
Carlisle’s heart beat against his chest wall as he fell
backward to the ground and then scrambled to his feet. All he
had with him was rope and a torch. The vampire was too quick.
There was no way Carlisle could outrun him. He would have to
stand and fight. Behind him there were screams; the others had
realized they were under attack.
“IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND
THE HOLY SPIRIT!!” Carlisle yelled at the top of his voice.
Then the red eyes were upon him. The vampire lunged for him at
a full run, and the other two passed him and headed toward the
others in the hunting party. Carlisle dodged, swung his torch at
the creature, and missed. He swung around again, tossing the
rope aside, but the beast was missing in the darkness.

28
 “‘Though he slay me, yet I will hope in Him; I will
surely defend my ways to his face…’” The Book of Job had
often been on Carlisle’s tongue in the last few years.
The vampire attacked from behind. Carlisle felt a wicked
fire in his neck as the vampire tore into his jugular vein, and he
instantly buckled at the knees, a silent scream caught in his
throat. But just as suddenly, the vampire jumped off, wailing
with an unholy sound.
“CARLISLE!” It was Arthur. He had managed to swing
at the monster with his torch while it was feeding, and the
tattered rags on its back were now on fire. Arthur put a cloth to
the oozing blood at Carlisle’s neck. “Brother, we have to get you
out of here!” But just as he spoke, the still flaming vampire ran
up behind Arthur and seized him, carrying him off as he
screamed Carlisle’s name.
He reached out for his friend, but Arthur and the
vampire were already halfway down the street and had
disappeared into the night. There were two bodies in the street
and Carlisle had been left for dead. The fire in his neck was not
abating, and it was spreading. He cried out as he turned over
onto his side, and tried to push up to his hands and knees. The
flame under his skin was moving down his arm, and Carlisle
feared he actually was on fire, so he ripped off his coat, opened
his white shirt covered in his own blood, and confirmed what his
rational mind had been saying: he could not be burning without
flames.

29
 Dawn was breaking, and in the pale light he noticed
something. The blaze under his skin had already spread to his
left hand, the same side as his bite. Shaking with pain he
compared his two hands: the left was now several shades lighter
than the right; it was almost ghostly white.
“Dear God,” he gasped, then the pain hit with a fury
unparalleled, and Carlisle doubled over. I must get off the street
before anyone sees me! He began to crawl, fighting against the
agony as it spread down his torso. His heart was racing and the
faster it went the faster the fire spread. He wanted to get to a safe
place before his legs stopped working; his left arm was already
much weaker than the right. He crawled down the nearest alley,
and fell upon a cellar door. He pulled open the door and
stumbled down into the dark room. There were piles and piles of
supplies everywhere he looked.
I need a hiding place, just a small corner to lie down
and recuperate. Though he could feel his body succumb to some
type of poison, he had convinced himself that he was going to be
fine, that he just needed to heal, like he always had after he was
beaten. He would be fine.
The pain caused him to fall forward onto a pile of
potatoes in the far back corner of the cellar. Half of the pile was
rotten; they clearly had not been touched in months, and they
probably would not be until someone decided to dig the pile out
of the cellar with a shovel. Carlisle began to dig mostly with his
right arm, and, once he had a small hole started, he forced his left

30
arm to help shove potatoes aside. After he had shifted enough to
just wedge himself in behind the pile, he put his coat back on,
settled himself, and began building the potatoes up around him,
half burying himself in the process. He was hidden from view,
and, despite the stench, he was dry and warm, though he could
feel he was getting colder every minute.
Gasping for breath due to the conflagration in his chest
and his physical efforts, Carlisle laid his head back, but then his
right arm was ablaze. It was a slow torture, taking hours and
hours. Once the scorching agony reached his fingers, he looked
down again, and this time he actually watched as his fingers
slowly faded from pink stained with blood to a ghostly white
color.
Carlisle’s eyes filled with tears which began to spill
down his cheeks. But he did not have long to mourn what he
knew was happening to him, because the inferno was now
burning upward into his head, and Carlisle had to stuff a potato
in his mouth to muffle his screams.

31
32
 CHAPTER 2
~~1666~~

Carlisle opened his eyes. For a moment he was

paralyzed and his eyes swept the room. The dawn of the third
day had broken. The sun had not risen and the sky was barely
purple, but compared to the pitch black of the cellar a dim light
was visible through the cracks in the cellar doors. Carlisle knew
he was missing a short period of memory because he had last
been aware of his fading breath, and it had been completely dark
outside. Had he…?
Suddenly, he sat straight up as an explosion of every
smell, sound, and color around him overwhelmed his senses. He
closed his eyes and put his hands over his ears. But just as
quickly his mind filtered the noise, so when he opened his eyes
again he noted that he could perceive every moving creature’s
sound in the house, could identify every smell within a six-block
radius, and saw with perfect acuity even in near complete
darkness every object in the room.
For a moment, Carlisle was exhilarated and easily pulled

33
himself out of the pile of rotten potatoes, but when he was free
he smelled and then looked down and saw the dry blood that
covered his shirt. He was overcome with the desire to suck his
own blood out of the fabric. And then a deep, ravenous thirst
suddenly stabbed at his insides but he did not desire the shelves
of wine, or sacks of turnips or pickled meat in the cellar. His
instincts took over, and he sniffed out the closest available
source of what he desired – a small female, just at the top of the
stairs to the cellar beyond a flimsy wooden door, which he knew
he could pulverize quite easily.
A CHILD!? I want to drink the blood of a CHILD?! I am
plotting to kill a child!! Carlisle backed up toward to cellar
doors, struggling to push down the monstrous craving that was
rumbling deep inside him. Several times he started toward the
stairs leading up to the playing little girl who was so close, such
an easy meal… Finally, he managed to open the cellar doors and
forced himself to walk up the steps to the street. He looked up at
the purple morning sky, which was starting to turn slightly pink
in the east as the sun crept higher, and he closed his coat over his
bloody shirt so he would not attract attention, but that reminded
him of…
He put his hand up to his neck, where the vampire had
bitten him. The bite on his neck was healed over to a soft scar.
Then he realized that it was more than a bite mark, one soft
raised line lead to another, and another. The vampire had torn
apart his neck in the attack. Suddenly he was seized with rage,

34
and he slammed the cellar doors with such force that they
splintered. The door handle had come of in his hand and when he
looked at it he saw that his stone-hard fingers had squeezed the
thick metal as if it were clay. He was shocked by his strength,
and he ran down the alley for fear of being caught but realized
that in a blink of an eye he was two miles from where he had
been. Carlisle gasped and looked around him. There were not
very many people around yet, and those that were out apparently
had not seen him moving too fast for their eyes to perceive. Fear
gripped him, anger pulsed through him, thirst called him in all
directions toward the humans nearby who were completely
unaware of the newborn vampire that was cowering between two
buildings in London, covering his head trying to block out all of
the heartbeats pounding in his ears.
When Carlisle could bear it no longer he determined to
run as far and as fast as possible away from all of the people. He
ran in short spurts, hiding from the sight of any human, and
headed for the woods nearby. He would have to go a long way,
out of the city, past the fields of workers; but he appeared to
move unnoticed. When he could no longer hear any heart beats
calling him nor smell any hint of the enticing aroma of blood, he
finally stopped and was amazed that he felt no fatigue from his
efforts. Carlisle was standing in a clearing near the edge of the
forest under a tree that had to be a thousand years old. Only
fifteen minutes had passed, the sun was just peeking over the
treetops, and he had run at least twenty miles. For the first

35
moment since he awoke he took some time to think.
I cannot do this! I will not become an agent of death! I
will not become this monster! This must …END.
Carlisle formulated the plan instantly. He sat next to a
tree completely still and calmly waited through the entire day,
deliberately watching nothing but the slow crawl of the sun
across the sky until darkness fell again so there would be fewer
humans around to tempt his senses as he ran. His plan might
instantly condemn him to hell, but he did not care. He preferred
to go to hell for this rather than for killing one of God’s people.
He could not believe it was such a simple choice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle sat by the shore on a boulder as large as a house

at the top of a cliff face that was hundreds of feet from the rocky
shore where white waves crashed. The bright sunlight reflected
off his diamond hard skin and the sounds and smells of the sea
and wind rolled over him like the surf far below but he ignored
everything. He wasn’t sure why he was there. He had been
sitting on the boulder for four days without moving. He had no
motivation to move, so he simply didn’t. He thought rather
apathetically that he could try again to kill himself by jumping
off the cliff into the sea, but he knew that there was no hope of
success. He had jumped from the spire of Saint Paul’s Cathedral.
He had stood in the flames of a glass factory. He had leapt from

36
the London Bridge and sat at the bottom of the Thames. He had
tried every weapon he could find. He had even stolen some holy
water and drunk it. And he had finally come to the conclusion
that while his body was whole and strong, there was nothing that
could destroy its power. Carlisle began to wonder if all of the
legends around how to kill a vampire existed because any
vampire who had been successfully killed was weakened.
A voice of hope in the back of his mind proposed that
because the only thing he could feel anymore was his blood-
lusting thirst, eventually lack of nutrition might finally weaken
him enough to make him vulnerable; or simply end the
nightmare. And it was a nightmare, a never-ending horror,
because he also could not sleep. He had spent every waking
moment since he was reborn as a demon loathing his very
existence.
Hypocrite, his inner voice said. You loathed yourself
long before you died. You are a child of death, born of a dead
woman, reared by a man whose faith in life and God was dead.
You have always been dead inside. You never even knew what it
was to be truly alive. And now, you never will.
Carlisle’s inner voice was becoming louder and louder.
He began to wonder if the voice was his vampire conscience, or
if it was who he really was, finally breaking free. The voice
never told him to feed; that was his body, which he kept
perfectly locked in place with every ounce of his will. So he
dared to hope that the voice was himself, some remnant of his

37
humanity that he clung to no matter how loudly disapproving it
was of his attempts at suicide.
Slowly, his body actually began to weaken. He could
feel it. After twenty days, he could no longer hold himself still.
He moved from the boulder and took one more look down the
cliff. He still knew that the fall would not kill him, and it wasn’t
worth the effort of climbing all the way back up the cliff face or
running along the shore until he found an easier way up.
He headed back, or was drawn without realizing it, to the
forest. He thought he was wandering aimlessly, until he
happened upon a natural rock cave: a perfect hole to crawl into
to die. Carlisle crawled in and found that it was clean and dry
and recently vacated by a family of wolves by the scent he
picked up. Something inside him told him that running into
wolves was dangerous, but he did not care. He lay down on the
bed of grass in the corner of the tiny cave, and waited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle had been lying in a daze, not asleep but not

exactly sure what was inside his mind and what was out in the
world. He knew it was fall, but he was unfazed by rain or sun,
heat or cold, day or night. All he could think of was the thirst.
Carlisle had never wanted for food in his mortal life, and
he knew what a blessing that had been. His father had inherited
his mother’s small fortune, which was supplemented by his

38
church salary and the parishioners’ tithes. Carlisle’s tuition at
boarding school was always paid on time, so he had every meal
he needed. He had seen desperate hunger before in both men’s
and animals’ eyes. He had also seen starvation. It was the most
visceral depiction of living death that he had ever seen, in his
opinion even more graphic than a drawing and quartering which
was over quickly. Oddly, however, though Carlisle felt he was
reaching his end, his body was not wasting like those he had
seen in the slums of London; he was simply weaker. It was as if
his body had been frozen in time to an impermeable,
unchanging, indestructible force. Not so indestructible, he
promised himself. This will end.
He felt the ground vibrating underneath him. He bolted
up straight, and his nostrils flared before he could regain control
of himself. He sighed with relief. He knew that it was not a
human party. He had successfully evaded humans for more than
four months. There was no way he would tempt himself now. He
felt the comforting weakness return to his temporarily energized
muscles, until he caught the scent. It was not human, but it called
to him. Carlisle rolled over onto his side and sniffed again. He
did not really know what he was doing until he was crawling out
of his cave and pulling himself up from the forest floor. The
vibration was palpable now through his feet, and he could see
them through the trees.
Carlisle was running; where the energy came from he
did not know, but just ahead of him was what he craved, what he

39
desired. He reached out with his hand…
When he finally looked up at the sky his vision was
much clearer than it had been. All of his senses were heightened
again. The velvety dark of the night sky above was sparkling like
the sea. He could see colors in every shining star. The grass of
the meadow around him was turning brown, and it whispered as
it swayed in the chilly fall breeze. He closed his eyes and felt the
air wrap around his cold skin, and then he felt something more
viscous than water dripping from his chin. Carlisle looked down
and saw on his hands the unmistakable crimson stains of blood,
as if he had bathed in it.
His breathing quickened as he backed away from the
body next to him, the image of its unmoving form seared into his
eyes like a hot iron. His first kill. Carlisle began to
hyperventilate, and he crawled backward away from it though he
was unable to look away. And then he bumped into another
body. As he jumped up from the forest floor, away from his
second kill, he turned his head and saw in his field of vision four
more.
His mind suddenly took hold of his heart and said, Look
at them, you fool.
Carlisle closed his eyes and shook his head.
I said, LOOK AT THEM. His inner voice demanded.
Carlisle opened his eyes and first looked at his hands.
They were still drenched in blood. Then he looked back at his
first kill. It was a deer. He turned to the second – another deer.

40
He walked past all of the rest of them; there were nine
altogether.
Carlisle stood still as a statue, staring at the last one. Its
large black eyes were still and empty. He could see where his
own teeth had ripped out its throat, and then he rubbed the faint
scars on his neck.
This is the answer. Carlisle realized the inner voice was
not simply critical of him; it was his voice of reason.
He turned and ran toward the craggy peak in the
distance, his legs moving faster than they had in months as the
new blood filled his open veins, and he tracked the herd he had
attacked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1669~~
Carlisle walked through a small farmer’s market on a
cold and cloudy afternoon in a clearing by the crossroads five
miles from the center of London. He still did not trust himself to
walk into the city, but when he was well fed he felt capable of
walking in this smaller gathering of humans.
The market was actually just a collection of lean-tos set
up along the crossroads. There were barely thirty humans
around, and as long as Carlisle gave them a wide berth he was
able to stay in control. However, every trip took a significant
effort and caused him physical pain. Every time he took a breath

41
around humans, Carlisle felt as if he was breathing in burning
ash; a burning he knew would only be quenched by satisfying his
thirst for blood.
When he listened in on the conversations as he passed
by, it seemed they barely took notice of the mysterious figure
who always had a hood over his head and only came to the
market when there was cloud cover. None suspected a vampire
in their midst – especially not one who did not feed on humans.
He returned to his cart and began to pack up his wares. He had
made several significant sales that day, plenty of money for the
supplies he required.
It had all started about seven months after his
transformation: while hunting one evening he found a caravan
that had been attacked in the forest and the dead left to rot in the
road. He found weapons, clothing, and some books. His clothes
had been reduced to rags, with the exposure he endured over the
first few months and his failed suicide attempts. It felt strange to
have such luxurious fabrics on his cold dead skin, but the
sensation was far more intense than he had ever realized as a
mortal. Clothing had been about utility, not comfort, in his
former life.
The books he found were all written by Greek
philosophers. He had spent a little time translating the classics in
boarding school in his Greek class, but reading them again from
an entirely different perspective immediately intrigued him. He
read them over and over, even after he had memorized each

42
page.
The weapons he put to immediate use for hunting, but
not for himself. He used his superior sight and reflexes to kill
foxes, deer, and wolves, and he sold the meat and pelts. He had
found a way to make a good living, with minimal human contact.
Carlisle was in a hurry to leave the market because he
did not like stay among the humans any longer than he had to.
But a man on a horse arrived at the crossroads and stopped
behind him.
“Good evening, sir. I can see you are leaving, but I must
trouble you for one of your warm pelts, I’m afraid I may be ill
before I reach my destination.”
Carlisle could smell the man’s general good health, and
guessed that he must be past his prime, probably in his forties.
Carlisle could hear his wealth with the rubbing of fine fabrics.
But as he turned to look at the man the first thing that caught his
eye was the tied stacks of books hanging from his saddlebag.
The man followed Carlisle’s gaze and smiled. “You
have an eye for reading, sir?”
Carlisle nodded. “I had an aptitude for science and
religion in school. My studies were forgotten for years, until
recently.”
The man had not really expected such a response, and
now dismounted and looked more closely at the strange hunter
with a pale face. Carlisle instantly shrank from the man’s gaze
and began to untie some of the furs he had just put away.

43
 The man frowned. “You are a learned man, I can see it.
But something dreadful has happened. Where is your family?
Your home?”
Carlisle’s instincts were reawakening; this human was
taking too much of an interest in him, and it was enticing his
senses. “I have none, sir.”
The man leaned a little closer, and Carlisle had to stop
breathing to prevent the scent of blood from overwhelming him.
“Are you a Catholic?” the man said quietly and sympathetically.
Carlisle did not answer. The man took this as something
of a confirmation. “My mother’s sister married into a Catholic
family. They were killed and their lands taken. I will presume for
the moment that is what has happened to you, sir, for I can see
you do not wish to discuss it.” He walked back over to his horse,
and Carlisle took the opportunity to relax his face a little. The
man returned with three books. “I hope you will accept this as
payment for that fine wolf’s skin.” He indicated the deep black
fur on the top of Carlisle’s collection.
Carlisle was taken aback by the generosity and shook his
head. “You must know I cannot accept more than one book in
payment, sir.”
The man smiled. “Your honesty has proven my instinct
about you, sir. My name is Thomas Hawthorne. I am a professor
of physic, and I am to teach at Trinity College in Cambridge.”
He smiled broadly when he saw that Carlisle recognized the
college and suddenly appreciated to whom he was speaking.

44
 “I had considered applying, but at the time, it seemed
God had other plans for me.” Carlisle frowned as he spoke.
Hawthorne was intrigued. “And what was your intended
field of study?” he asked eagerly.
Carlisle shrugged. “I… don’t remember.” Carlisle’s
brows knit as he searched his memory, but the desire was long
gone from his human mind, and now had completely faded as his
entire existence had become focused on resisting his very nature.
Hawthorne watched the young man struggling internally
and he felt a great swell of sympathy for him. He held out all
three books to Carlisle and waited until Carlisle took them.
Carlisle handed Hawthorne the wolf skin, which Hawthorne
threw over his shoulders.
“I can see you are still young, and you have likely had a
hard start to your life or lost a legacy that was due to you. But
your thirst for knowledge is a rare thing. If you ever find you
have sufficient curiosity, I will make certain we find you the
means to study.” Hawthorne bowed slightly to Carlisle.
Carlisle bowed back, and watched with wonder as
Hawthorne rode away. Carlisle looked down at the books: Galen,
Hippocrates, and Fuchs. Carlisle opened Galen: On the Natural
Faculties.

“Since feeling and voluntary motion are peculiar to

animals, whilst growth and nutrition are common to
plants as well, we may look at the former as effects of

45
 the soul and the latter as effects of the nature.”

Carlisle closed the book and looked in the direction

Hawthorne had ridden. For the first time in years, Carlisle had a
new thirst gnawing at his insides when he had thought he would
never be able to move beyond simply surviving. Carlisle packed
the books in his saddlebag carefully with his other treasured
volumes, wrapping them all in cloth to protect them. He decided
in that moment to formulate his plan to return to civilization.

46
 CHAPTER 3
~~1671~~

Carlisle knocked on the arched wooden door facing the

stone hallway on the second level of Neville’s Court. It was
seven o’clock in the evening and Carlisle had timed his walk to
the door perfectly to avoid any contact as long as the door
opened before a nearby human exited the north stairwell.
The door swung open and Thomas Hawthorne smiled at
his visitor. “I was wondering when we might meet again. I
presume that if you have come to see me that you have an
interest in the subjects I left you with.” He beckoned Carlisle
inside, not even bothering to let him get a word in. Hawthorne’s
office was very small, almost claustrophobic. There was a main
room with a small hearth to the right of the door, a large square
window at the back facing the court, a work bench covered with
beakers and implements on the left near the window, a trunk
under the window, Hawthorne’s desk to the right, and directly to
the left of the front door was a smaller doorway leading to a
private room where Hawthorne slept. Carlisle could see that

47
these two rooms contained Hawthorne’s entire personal and
professional life, and Trinity College likely contained his whole
world.
“My current project will wait, so I would like to begin
with an examination of your level of knowledge,” Hawthorne
seated himself in one of the two chairs by the hearth putting his
feet up on a wooden stool.
Carlisle was suddenly stricken with an old schoolboy
panic from years of being tested out loud in front of classmates,
but Hawthorne was clearly expecting his reaction, and he
laughed at Carlisle’s snow-white face. “Fear not, I will not have
you quoting all of Genesis.”
“That might be something I can do perfectly.” Carlisle
muttered. Hawthorne looked at Carlisle intently, so Carlisle
looked down at his feet. “Professor, I’m not sure what I can do to
repay you for this.”
Hawthorne ignored this overture. “Let’s begin with
every conjugation tense in Latin, then proceed to French, and
then to natural science.”
Carlisle could not help but allow a slight smile to touch
his lips. Hawthorne was a man of average height, with broad
shoulders and a slightly round belly. He had been an athletic man
at some point and had now gone slightly to seed as his
intellectual pursuits took precedence. His chin-length gray hair
was full and curly, and his excited mannerisms reminded Carlisle
of a young professor’s assistant from his boarding school. The

48
assistant had tutored Carlisle in spelling, and he had an innate
enthusiasm for learning very similar to Hawthorne’s. He had
made learning fun. For the first time in over three years Carlisle
could see before him something that he would not have
described as “fun,” but as more than that: a meaningful
existence.
“But before we begin,” Hawthorne put out his hand,
smiled when Carlisle hesitated. “We have not been properly
introduced. I am Thomas Hawthorne.”
Carlisle’s insides clenched at the prospect of touching a
human. He was in control of himself but he was less certain
about having any physical contact with potential prey without
intending to drink its blood. He put his hand up, but did not
touch Hawthorne. “Carlisle Cullen.”
Hawthorne’s smile did not waver as he lowered his
hand; he actually seemed intrigued and then he nodded. He was
pleased to at least have learned his student’s full name. “A
pleasure to meet you Mr. Cullen. Would you be seated?”
Carlisle sat down in the second chair by the hearth and
they began with Latin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1672~~
Over the next six months they met three times a week.
Carlisle had rented a room over a carpenter’s shop in the village

49
because he did not feel safe living in the college dorms where
prying eyes would have ready access to his belongings. He often
worked for the carpenter and developed a reputation for fine
craftsmanship in heavy wood like oak. Carlisle would work
inside the shop during the day, going out only if it was cloudy
enough. Hawthorne refused to take any money from him, so all
of his earnings were put away.
Carlisle met with Hawthorne in the evening after his
lecture hours, in his office. Occasionally another student or a
professor would interrupt them, but though Hawthorne often
mentioned how impressed other professors would be with
Carlisle’s aptitude as a student, he never drew attention to
Carlisle. He had noted Carlisle’s instinct to withdraw, and even
sometimes to flee, from any other person who came near them.
Hawthorne glanced up at his student one evening as
Carlisle looked nervously at the door after a valet stopped in to
deliver a message for Hawthorne. “Mr. Cullen, I think you will
find that the more relaxed you are around people, the less likely
they are to notice anything strange about you,” Hawthorne said
casually as he looked back down at his workbench. “People tend
to see what they want to, and ignore what they cannot explain.”
Carlisle frowned at Hawthorne. “Somehow I suspect that
you are not one of those people.”
Hawthorne smiled to himself but still did not look at
Carlisle. “There is a significant minority of people with inquiring
minds who do pay attention to life’s little mysteries, but like I

50
said, the majority of people will accept most explanations that
are logical as long as they do not feel threatened.”
“And the rest?” Carlisle said quietly.
Hawthorne sighed. “You will have to deal with them as
they come.”
“Do they ever ask about me?” Carlisle looked back at
the door again.
Hawthorne was focusing his microscope on a sample of
parasite worms and did not look up. “Occasionally, and I simply
tell them you are a young gentleman who prefers anonymity.
They ask if you are a royal in disguise, and I say no,” he
chuckled. “They understand discretion, Mr. Cullen, you do not
need to fear.”
“I do not fear them.” Carlisle said.
Hawthorne looked up for just a moment and then looked
back down at his instrument, “No, you do not.”
Carlisle’s brow knit slightly. He looked back over at
Hawthorne, who did not look up from his desk, and he knew the
conversation was over.
At their meetings they studied science mostly.
Hawthorne was a physic but did not treat patients. He spent most
of his time and research on naturalist pursuits. He particularly
enjoyed botany and apothecary. They conducted experiments on
the healing powers of herbs and dissected animals and plants.
Carlisle was surprised that dissecting the dead animals
held no temptation for him. In fact, it was becoming easier every

51
day for him to ignore the constant drum of heartbeats around
him, the rhythmic heat of the human pulse, the enticing aroma of
blood just under thin layers of skin or floating off the breath as it
engorged the mucosa of every person who spoke to him. The
only thing that continued to test Carlisle’s restraint was spilled
blood.
He was getting a reputation for having a slightly weak
constitution when it came to blood because every time a
craftsman in the carpentry shop accidentally cut himself on one
of his tools, Carlisle disappeared. The others sometimes teased
him about it, but he took the abuse because he never, ever
wanted to put the men in danger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1673~~
Nearly a year after Carlisle had settled in at Cambridge,
he realized he was starting to feel quite at home in his new
environment. His work was fulfilling, his study was exhilarating,
and his mentor was inspiring. He was already pushing Carlisle to
start writing. Carlisle began to take notes on their experiments
and a catalog of their animal dissections. He was particularly
fascinated by the circulatory system, and he noted the similarities
between humans and animals.
Privately, Carlisle began another journal. In that book he
began cataloging what he observed about himself and his

52
experiences as a vampire. He was voraciously seeking more and
more information about his own natural body strength and
ability, his feeding instincts and habits, and methods for
maintaining his appearance as a human. He could not justify
seeking out ways to test his restraint, but whenever he was in a
situation where his resolve was challenged, he made notes on
every moment.
One evening, as Hawthorne and Carlisle were dissecting,
Hawthorne quietly asked, “Where is your mind, tonight, Mr.
Cullen? You have barely moved beyond that fox’s abdomen
circulation. What are you thinking about?”
Carlisle looked up and blinked. “Oh, I was, thinking
about… my past, Professor.”
Hawthorne nodded and sat down across from his pupil.
“My past is colorful too, Mr. Cullen.” He sighed. “I told you
when we first met that my aunt’s family was all killed. But I did
not tell you that my wife and child were visiting her parents
when her mother was collected for being raised a Catholic, and
the entire family was also immediately executed.” He watched
Carlisle’s reactions and was satisfied by the horror Carlisle
registered. “So you see, I am alone, too, just as you are.”
Carlisle nodded and looked back down at the partially
dissected fox. “I am not a Catholic, as you have inferred. My
father was a Reverend. My mother died in childbirth. My father
never forgave me.” Carlisle had never attempted to describe to
anyone who he was. He was not sure what else Hawthorne might

53
think was relevant.
“How were you educated?” Hawthorne probed.
Carlisle was relieved by the easy question. “My
mother’s fortune made it possible for my father to send me away
as soon as I was old enough.”
“And when you returned?” Hawthorne was now
listening with rapt attention, leaning forward slightly over the
table.
Carlisle looked away from Hawthorne. “We…
disagreed, on many things.”
Hawthorne was silent in contemplation for a while. Then
he leaned forward again. “How did you leave things with him?”
Carlisle flinched slightly, recalling the night he was
transformed. “He does not know I am alive.”
Hawthorne watched Carlisle intently but then carefully
contained his questions. He could see Carlisle withdrawing from
him. Hawthorne stood to walk to his shelves.
“Why don’t we put away the animals for this evening
and start on some newly collected willow bark? We can distil
some concentrated bark extract – ”
He was so enthusiastic about this new task that he
carelessly swung around and smashed a beaker on his worktable.
He didn’t feel the cut immediately, but when he did the pain hit
suddenly.
“Damn!” Hawthorne grabbed a nearby cleaning cloth
and pressed it to his bleeding palm. Then he turned and found

54
that Carlisle had, instantly and soundlessly, moved to the back of
the room near the hearth and was pressed against the wall.
Hawthorne paused with surprise but then watched his
student closely. Carlisle fought internally against his instincts; it
was a physically painful battle, and he was unable to hide the
agony from his mentor. He slowly inched farther away from
Hawthorne. Hawthorne quickly finished wrapping his hand, and
his eyes became wide with interest, taking in every moment of
reaction from Carlisle’s face.
“You’re afraid you’re going to hurt me.” Hawthorne said
as he crept toward Carlisle, who was now moving more
purposefully away from Hawthorne. “Mr. Cullen, there are dark
forces at work in you, but I have never doubted that you have a
completely overriding consciousness of what is good, and right
in the eyes of God. Whatever you are fighting against, we can
face it together! Let me help you!” Hawthorne reached out with
his newly cut hand. Carlisle turned his head away from the hand,
and Hawthorne realized which hand he was using and put it
down.
Carlisle was forced to take a breath to respond. “I need
to leave. I’ll return in two days.” He turned and headed for the
door.
Hawthorne called after him, “You mean, after my hand
has healed?”
Carlisle stopped in his tracks. For a moment he hesitated
but he was out of air, and if he took another breath in the room

55
he feared what he might do. Carlisle pulled open the door and
walked out.
That night he cataloged every thought that had passed in
his mind after he smelled Hawthorne’s fresh blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Carlisle returned, three days later, Hawthorne was

ready. Carlisle noted there was a new student’s desk and chair
next to the workbench and still a faint smell of blood in the air,
and he assumed it was from the healing scab under the bandage
Hawthorne wore.
“Well, my young prodigy, what is your experience with
the Black Death?” Hawthorne said lightly.
Carlisle shrugged. “The plague takes hold in waves in
certain quarters of London. I have seen the dead, but I never
knew anyone who died from it.”
Hawthorne nodded as he sat on the front edge of his
desk. “I was working in Turkey with a Moorish physic who
noted that in the previous three waves he had witnessed, many
physicians and nursemaids died caring for the ill. But, among
those who lived, they never became ill, even in successive
outbreaks of plague. What could allow them to withstand the
disease?”
Carlisle thought for a long moment. “I suppose they
could have some natural power, or constitution, that shields them

56
from harm.”
Hawthorne nodded. “How about the concept of a holy
man who disciplines his body and eventually becomes numb to
the pain?”
Carlisle shook his head, his eyes slipping yet again to the
bandage on his teacher’s hand. “To survive, the body must adapt
to stimuli, noxious or otherwise.”
“Precisely.” Hawthorne smiled, and laid his hand on a
heavy wooden chest that sat on his desk. “It is a simple concept,
whereby one purposefully exposes oneself to a stimulus, or
malady, and becomes accustomed to it.”
Hawthorne opened the chest, and Carlisle threw himself
backward against the wall again as he was assaulted by the
overpowering smell of human blood: a small beaker holding
about two ounces of Hawthorne’s blood sat inside the wooden
chest. “Hawthorne! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Carlisle cried
with the last air in his lungs, terrified to take in any more.
“Mr. Cullen, through careful observation over our past
year working together I have deduced that this is the problem.”
He picked up the beaker of slightly coagulated blood and set it
on his desk. Carlisle turned his head away to avoid looking at it.
His veins popped from his forehead as he strained to keep his
composure. Hawthorne stood up and walked back into Carlisle’s
field of vision.
“This problem is overpowering your will to learn, and I
cannot accept that. We must fight back, and we must win. You

57
have too much intelligence, too much potential!”
Carlisle looked at the intensity in Hawthorne’s face. The
kindness was still there, but it was accompanied by a new
passion and determination.
“NOW IF YOU CAN STILL FOCUS ON MY VOICE,
BE SEATED!” Hawthorne shouted.
Carlisle gripped the chair of the student’s desk nearby,
and his stone-hard fingers bit into the wood as he carefully eased
himself down into the seat.
Hawthorne put a book in front of Carlisle. “You must sit
here and read for one hour.” He returned to his desk, and turned
over an hourglass. “And you must BREATHE.”
Carlisle took in a tiny breath and stopped as the smell
overtook him again. He used that tiny bit of air. “But… I…
may… kill… you.”
Hawthorne looked up at Carlisle’s agonized expression,
but there was no fear in his eyes. “No, Carlisle. I do not believe
that you have ever killed. I know what a killer looks like. Instead
of killing me, when you cannot stand the smell, you will run
away from me.” He smiled. “And then you will return tomorrow,
and we will try again.” Then his smile faded. “Now breathe,” he
commanded.
Carlisle closed his eyes, and gripped the desk again, the
impressions of his grasp sinking deeper into the weak wood. He
slowly opened his lungs. The blood filled his nostrils, and he was
suddenly reminded of the first night that he fed as he began to

58
lose his sense of the world around him. He gripped the desk
tighter, fighting to keep his feet on the ground and his body in
the seat. His head was swimming with pain and desire; as he
tried to exhale a drunken stupor took hold as the aroma flew past
his nostrils again lighting his chest, throat and nose ablaze, and
his feet felt like they were sliding on a cushion of air. Then he
tried to take another breath in, and his will began to falter.
Carlisle gripped the desk tighter, but then he cried out
with rage as the desk and chair finally submitted to his strength
and splintered into thousands of pieces, and Carlisle bolted from
the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle did not return for a week. When he finally

darkened Hawthorne’s door, he was so gorged with animal blood
he felt like he was going to burst. Hawthorne smiled when he
saw him.
“Well, two breaths, and you disappear for a week. Let’s
see if you can handle three this time, shall we?”
Carlisle did not respond but sat down again. He looked
up as Hawthorne reached for the box holding the beaker of
blood.
“You are cataloging this experiment aren’t you?”
Hawthorne nodded. “For your benefit only, Mr. Cullen.
My notes from these experiments are your property. The

59
notebooks are here in my locked desk; you are welcome to read
my reflections anytime you wish.”
“And how long have you been observing me?” Carlisle
said a little petulantly.
Hawthorne looked slightly amused. “Since the day we
met.”
Carlisle sighed and nodded his head. “I would like to
thank you for your efforts.”
Hawthorne nodded back. “I must confess that as a man
of God I have been encouraged meeting a demon with his
humanity intact. And as a scientist, meeting you has been more
illuminating than any sign from God ever has.” He chuckled.
“But then, Carlisle, I have considered that you may in fact be a
sign from God.”
Carlisle shook his head. He knew that Hawthorne was a
man of tireless curiosity and flawless logic and that the puzzle of
Carlisle must have been relatively simple. To call him a “sign
from God,” however, offended Carlisle’s upbringing and his
beliefs.
“Mr. Hawthorne, God has no connection to me. His
child Carlisle ceased to exist years ago.”
Hawthorne cocked his head. “My data do not suggest
that is a reasonable conclusion at all.” He smiled again when
Carlisle looked up at him. “Let us begin. And try not to destroy
every piece of furniture I possess.”

60
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1676~~
Carlisle walked with a heavy heart toward Hawthorne’s
office. As time passed he felt more and more restless. His
progress with Hawthorne seemed to be accelerating over the
years, and Hawthorne did not hesitate to push him further and
further than either of them would have imagined when they
started. Carlisle was now able to conduct a normal day of study
and discussion with an open, dripping cut on Hawthorne’s arm.
Carlisle no longer disappeared when his coworkers at the
carpentry shop cut themselves. And his fear of walking into any
unknown situation involving humans was slowly dissipating.
Something, however, was gnawing at Carlisle from the
inside. As he walked toward Hawthorne’s door the chapel bells
tolled five in the morning, and slowly Carlisle came to a stop. He
turned toward the chapel and realized that the bell in the chapel
matched the pitch of the bell in his father’s church. He shook his
head, trying to rid himself of ghosts from his past. He proceeded
into Hawthorne’s office and hung his coat as he walked in.
Hawthorne was upon him almost immediately and
handed Carlisle a sheet of paper. “This is your next goal.”
Carlisle looked down at the paper. It was a letter
addressed to the Regius Professor of Physic, Lord Francis
Glisson. It proposed that Carlisle should immediately begin his
studies to be trained as a physician. Carlisle was stunned, but

61
before he could protest Hawthorne put a hand up to silence him.
“It is the natural application of your knowledge and
scientific prowess. And, I believe, it will be a successful
application of our experiments.” He sat next to Carlisle.
“Imagine the possibilities! A demon becomes a messenger of
mercy!”
Carlisle looked down at the letter, considering
Hawthorne’s vision. For a brief shining moment he appeared to
consider it. Hawthorne was the first person who had been
completely sympathetic to his plight, and he had given Carlisle
the method to help him achieve what he wanted most – to hold
onto his humanity.
But then a voice from his past rang in Carlisle’s head as
clear as the chapel bells: You are a demon among us! Walking as
if you are human! Carlisle knew that he had to come to terms
with one more part of who he was.
“Professor, I’m not ready.” Carlisle handed the paper
back to his mentor. “But you are right. It is time for the next
step.” He stood up. “I need to return home.”
Hawthorne was completely horrified that he had
somehow pushed Carlisle away. “Whatever for? How can you
leave now, after you have made so much progress?”
Carlisle shook his head. “You are right, more than you
know. I have made a lot of progress. I have faced a lot of my
fears. You are responsible for that, and I thank you for believing
in me. But you are also right: I am a demon. And I must face

62
that.”
Hawthorne put up his hands, “Carlisle, please, I never
meant to imply…”
Carlisle countered, “You were simply reflecting what I
had projected to you. It does not matter how you meant it. It is
the truth. If I am ever going to be what you have envisioned for
me, I must face God first.” He walked over to the desk to
retrieve Hawthorne’s journals; then he turned back to Hawthorne
and put out his hand. “Thank you, Professor.”
Hawthorne remembered their first meeting in his office
nearly five years prior as their friendship came full circle.
Hawthorne now took Carlisle’s hand and then he jumped
because it was as hard and smooth as marble, and as cold as a
block of ice. Carlisle held his hand in a firm but gentle grip, and
shook it.
Hawthorne looked up into Carlisle’s supernaturally
amber eyes and conceded defeat. He knew that he was not the
man to advise Carlisle on any spiritual crisis. He claimed he was
a man of God, but he knew, and Carlisle knew, that his anger
with God over the death of his family kept him distant from
grace.
Carlisle gave Hawthorne a genuine smile; and
Hawthorne thought when Carlisle’s porcelain visage registered
any happiness it made him look like an angel.
Carlisle walked out of Hawthorne’s office, leaving the
professor to sit heavily behind his desk, pondering how a

63
vampire could be such a positive force in the life of a human.

64
 CHAPTER 4
~~1679~~

Carlisle walked down Lambeth Place Road late at night.

He had been walking for nearly thirty-six hours because he knew
that the more time he spent acclimating himself, the less pain he
would be in around humans. Carlisle recalled running out of the
city as a newborn vampire, terrorized by what his senses drew
him toward. Now he was observing the city of his birth with a
hyper sense of reality, and he had the skills to sift through the
noise, to hold his natural desires in check, and, instead, to try to
help.
Carlisle was spending more time on the South Bank
because that part of London was in the grip of a concurrent
outbreak of cholera and scarlet fever. Carlisle remembered
Hawthorne’s goals for him and decided to volunteer his services
as an assistant in one of the local hospitals, where nurses labored
mostly to relieve the suffering of the dying. This type of work
was entirely different from the work of the upper class
Cambridge physics who actually had the luxury to try to prevent

65
deaths. In the hospital he was given the job of carrying the dead
to the morgue and stacking them like wood. The burial teams
came every two hours.
Carlisle was learning more about what he was able to
endure; he was exposed to open wounds daily, and he pushed
himself. He felt a moral struggle daily because he still felt he
was putting the humans around him in danger, but he could not
stop, mostly because he was succeeding. Every day he felt
himself becoming stronger. Every day he believed a little more
that he might one day conquer his vampire instincts.
One afternoon a young woman was brought in to the
clinic; she had become unresponsive a day after cutting her hand
while cooking. Carlisle did the initial intake assessment, and
then informed the head nurse that she was dying of blood
poisoning.
She gave this strange young man a second glance. “How
do you know that?”
Carlisle blinked. “I don’t know. I think it’s the way she,
um – smells.”
“Smells?” The nurse looked at him with disbelief. She
leaned over the patient and took a cursory sniff. Then she walked
away dismissing him.
As Carlisle walked home that evening he barely paid
attention to his surroundings and instead allowed his instincts to
take over as he walked. He was considering the possibilities of
using the same power to gather more information about the

66
patients. He had denied his sense of smell for so long because it
was so utterly connected to his lust for blood that he had not
realized what he was depriving himself of. He began to take
careful, deeper breaths as he passed humans, and what he
discovered was amazing, and alarming. Every other human he
passed had some sort of health condition, and he could guess at a
diagnosis from simply using his sense of smell.
He was so fascinated that he merely followed his nose
most of the evening, all night and into the next day and evening.
After he passed Lambeth Place he proceeded to County Hall and
he saw a group of people standing in a small crowd. It was
several minutes before he realized that he had happened upon an
evening street performance. It was a comedy with prat falls and
colorful costumes. He was reminded of standing in that very
plaza as a child with friends watching similar performances, and
the fading human memory carried him away from his present
concerns. He was laughing along when suddenly the story
changed into a morality tale, and one of the players appeared
with sharp fang teeth, causing the children present to scream.
Carlisle’s smile faded as he remembered seeing many similar
vampire tricks in the past. He was suddenly uncomfortable and
he turned and quickly left.
He hailed a carriage and paid to be taken directly to the
City of London. Carlisle was silent the entire time, watching the
buildings flash past him. He tried but could not stop the
memories from flooding back from the night he was changed. He

67
closed his eyes and was overwhelmed by images: the moment
when the vampire had turned back and Carlisle realized he was
under attack, the red eyes of the vampire as he ran toward him,
his shaking hand that held the torch in a desperate attempt to
penetrate the darkness, Arthur’s frightened face as he tried to
stop the bleeding from Carlisle’s shredded neck, and Arthur’s
outstretched hand as he reached back to Carlisle when he was
carried off by the vampire.
Carlisle’s memories were interrupted when the carriage
stopped. He stepped out onto the street and knew he was about
two blocks away. His senses were on high alert as he walked
slowly toward the lane. The stench of the nearby Thames was
overpowering and the darkness of night was creeping into the
edges of the well-populated area, but Carlisle could see every rat
in every shadow. As he came upon the spot where he had fallen
he looked down at the stone street and saw no remains or mark
of what had happened there. It had been thirteen years since that
night. Then as he stared at the spot, suddenly he thought he could
see with his vampire eyes traces of blood. He closed his eyes and
told himself it was not real. When he reopened them, the shadow
of blood he had seen was gone.
Next he turned toward the alley he had stumbled into.
Less than half way down the alley he found the cellar door he
had opened and crawled through. It was now chained and
padlocked. Carlisle put down the temptation to wrench it open.

68
Instead, he walked around to the servant entrance to the house
and hesitated for only a moment before he knocked on the door.
A young woman with dark skin answered the door. “Sir,
I cannot properly receive you; let me get my mistress.”
Carlisle lifted his gloved hand in greeting. “That is quite
all right. I just wanted to inquire who the owner of this property
is.” Carlisle gave her his best “trust me” smile.
She smiled back and trusted him, too easily. But as she
began to explain that the master, someone called Mr. Billings,
was away, Carlisle caught a more intense whiff of her blood
coming off her breath. He was slightly horrified when realized
she was the small girl who had been playing at the top of the
cellar stairs the morning after his transformation. She was the
girl who might have been his first kill.
Carlisle abruptly cut her off, thanked her for her time,
and turned and left. Her blood did not tempt him extraordinarily,
but the memory of his early thirst was disturbing to him. As he
walked out of the claustrophobic alley and took a deep cleansing
breath, his eyes turned toward the direction where he had seen
his friend Arthur carried off. Carlisle headed toward the river
and the sewers where it had all begun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle sat inside the opening of the sewer completely

oblivious to the filth around him. He contemplated the point of

69
view of the vampire who had sat in this very spot and looked out
on the Thames and saw the same waning moon in the sky above.
The vampire who had bitten him had lived in this sewer,
probably only for a short time as he most likely moved from
place to place, seeking prey and just barely surviving. Carlisle
was now able to see very clearly how frighteningly close he had
come to such an existence when he was living in the forest. He
had nearly become separated from his humanity while he sat
around waiting to die.
Carlisle wondered what would have happened to him if
he had chanced upon any humans in his weakest state: Would he
have fed on them in his delirium instead of on the unfortunate
herd of deer? Would he have continued to live on the edge of
life, hiding in the darkness until driven by extreme thirst to run
out in a deranged state to find another meal? Would he have
descended to the sewers like the one he now sat in, immersed in
self-loathing each time he came to his senses after feeding and
looking down upon another dead human? Would he have
forgotten who he was in his human life as the despair of facing
an eternity as an agent of death gnawed away at his mind?
Suddenly, Carlisle felt his throat close, and he could not
stop one tearless sob from escaping his lips. He did not know
how or why he had been saved from such a fate, but he clenched
his jaw and his fists as he felt a new iron determination to stay on
the path he had chosen.

70
 Sitting right behind him a little way back from the sewer
entrance was the charred remains of a vampire. It was an ash-
white pile of stone and dust that resembled a burned human. His
knees were pulled up and hugged against his thin body, and his
skull and yawning jaw frozen in his final scream of agony, were
preserved in the stone figure left behind.
There was only one body; the other two who had been
with him must have escaped the conflagration. This was very
likely the vampire who had bitten him. He must have been very
old or at least very weak. Carlisle had tried to use fire to end
himself, but he was so new and so strong at the time that it had
not affected him at all.
As a final act of mercy, and perhaps even forgiveness,
Carlisle pulverized the stone remains of the vampire and
scattered them into the Thames. The ancient being had spoken
Latin to him the night he was bitten, so this could not have been
the river of his homeland, but Carlisle hoped the sea would take
him closer to his home.
With a slight crease in his brow, Carlisle watched as the
river carried away the remains. He suspected that someone had
taken revenge for the events the night of his transformation.
There were signs of the fire everywhere along the bank – scorch
marks on the sewer masonry and plants that were less
overgrown. Carlisle suspected, however, that the arsonist’s
motivation was not just revenge. His father would have easily
deduced, if not witnessed himself, what had happened to

71
Carlisle. The Reverend would not have taken lightly the prospect
of having a vampire for a son. Nor would he have likely had any
mercy left in his soul. The Reverend had gone to the one place
he thought he might find Carlisle with the other vampires… and
he had burned it.
Carlisle wiped the last of the old vampire’s dust from his
hands and then headed toward his father’s church.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle stood outside listening to the singing, but he

could not quite bring himself to walk in. Carlisle went to the
graveyard and looked for Arthur’s grave. He found it next to
Arthur’s sister Elenor.
He wished more than anything to talk to Arthur again.
Carlisle unconsciously reached up and felt the bridge of his nose
where Arthur had reset the cartilage after the last time the
Reverend had displaced it. It was now perfectly aligned and
immovable. Arthur had held him together physically and
mentally during his years with the Reverend. Carlisle had
frustrated Arthur with his martyr-like attitude, but at the time
Carlisle could see no other alternative. To prevent the Reverend
from harming others, he had taken the burden on himself. The
true burden, however, had been taking care of Carlisle. He
wanted to thank Arthur for saving him, more than once. It was a
debt that Carlisle had hoped to repay but never would.

72
 Suddenly the quiet bell tolled, and Carlisle knew that the
service had ended. It took every ounce of Carlisle’s control to
keep his feet planted where he stood. He found it incredibly
ironic that a nearly indestructible being could still be nearly
overwhelmed with the instinct to run from the man who had
controlled him for so many years of his mortal life.
Carlisle stood among the gravestones and watched as the
worshipers filed out of the church. He recognized many faces,
and most of them glanced in his direction but did not take any
special notice of the unmoving dark figure with a glowing white
face observing the end of the service.
Finally, the flow of people slowed to a trickle and then
stopped. The double doors still hung open, so Carlisle silently
crossed the churchyard, and entered through the doors he had
helped to hang when he was a child.
As soon as he looked down the aisle he saw the cross the
Reverend had commanded him to carve. After Carlisle had taken
a few steps, he turned around and looked above the entrance of
the church. There, still hanging over the entrance, was the
Reverend’s four-foot cross, slightly darkened with age. He was
nearly overcome with emotion at seeing it. He thought that
seeing it again would pain him, but instead it awoke in him a
familiar longing for his humanity. Even with so much tragedy
and hardship, he cherished his memories of his mortal life.
The church was completely empty, but the altar candles
were still burning. The Reverend had not yet left for the evening.

73
Carlisle could hear footsteps and the rustle of fabric; the
Reverend was hanging up his robes. Carlisle sat in his usual
position, second row right, and leaned forward on the back of the
front pew with his hands folded in prayer.
As the Reverend reentered the sanctuary, he paused
when he saw Carlisle. Carlisle kept his eyes closed; he prayed
for the strength to have this conversation and that it would end
peacefully.
“I apologize, my son; I thought everyone had left.”
Carlisle’s eyes snapped open, and he lifted his face. The
man in the Reverend’s clothes was not his father.
Carlisle stood up and nodded to the stranger. “It is I who
ought to apologize. I did not mean to trespass. I was looking for
Reverend Cullen. I attended this church over a decade ago.”
The new Reverend’s smile faded slightly. “It grieves me
to be the bearer of such news, but Reverend Cullen is dead. He
died two years ago of scarlet fever, which took a good number of
this congregation. I came from the country just before he died.”
Carlisle nodded. He had surmised what had happened
the moment he saw this small, round man with a kind smile and
missing teeth. Carlisle was surprised at how little the news
affected him. He did not even regret missing the opportunity to
confront his father or that he had actually been in London when
his father died. It was strangely liberating to never have to face
him again. And he found it difficult to repent of that relief.

74
 “Was there something in particular you need of this
church, or were you simply looking to find Reverend Cullen?”
Carlisle looked back at the Reverend and grimaced
slightly. “I was looking for Reverend Cullen for an entirely
different reason, but… there is actually something I need to work
out with God.”
The new Reverend was intrigued and sat down on the
front pew with his face turned toward Carlisle. “Please, go on,
my son.”
Carlisle sat down and looked down at his hands and then
back up at his cross. “The last time I spoke to the Reverend, we
were discussing God and the Devil and forces of light and dark.
The Reverend always believed that there is only one or the other.
I believed that there is light and dark in everything, and
everyone. Even a person surrounded by light may still have the
darkness inside him.”
The Reverend seemed to process everything Carlisle was
saying. “Go on.”
Carlisle sighed. “I need to know how much darkness can
be overcome and what it is that makes the final separation from
God. If there are forces outside one’s control driving you, tossing
you down into the darkness, can you find your way back?”
The Reverend looked at Carlisle intently, clearly sizing
him up. Carlisle looked down at his hands again, uncomfortable
with such intense scrutiny.

75
 “What darkness are you fighting, my son?” the Reverend
said, a little wary.
Carlisle turned his head and looked back at the
Reverend’s cross sadly. “It is in my entire being.”
The Reverend followed Carlisle’s gaze and then looked
back at him. Suddenly, he jumped up.
Carlisle looked back at the Reverend and in an instant
knew he had been recognized. He could smell the adrenaline
being dumped into the Reverend’s blood and seeping out his
sweat pores.
Carlisle put up his hands and made his expression as soft
as possible, “Do not fear; do not fear!”
The Reverend was backing away from Carlisle, holding
up his gold crucifix. “You…you are his son! He warned me
about you! You look so… human!” He was breathing quickly
and Carlisle could hear his heart pounding. “How? How can you
look… even sound so like an… angel?”
Carlisle lifted his open hands, “Truly I will not hurt you.
I need your help! I need your counsel!”
“LEAVE! Leave this House of God at once!” The
Reverend’s hand landed on the altar, and the first thing he
reached for was one of the large candleholders with three long
tapers in it. “BE GONE!”
“Please! I will do what you wish. Just be calm!” Carlisle
began to back away with his hands still lifted, but the Reverend

76
suddenly tripped over his own feet and the burning candles went
flying.
Carlisle was able to move faster than sight and catch two
of the candles, but the third landed on the cloth banner to the
right of the altar. The dye used in the banner had to have been
combustible, because it instantly became engulfed in flame.
The Reverend screamed, partially in fright because
Carlisle had moved so fast and partially because he wasn’t sure
if Carlisle had actually set the fire. He was frozen in fear for his
life, so Carlisle had to pull him up off the floor.
“RUN!! RUN!!” He shook the stunned human and
physically threw him the first few steps toward the doors; and
finally the terrified man ran from the sanctuary. The entire
rectory behind the altar was already ablaze. Carlisle glanced at
the blaze and knew there was nothing he could do. He took one
last look at the cross he had carved as the flames licked the sides
of it. Carlisle was almost happy to see it burn, along with all of
the pain it represented. Then he turned back to the cross of the
Reverend, and in an instant he pulled the cross off the wall. The
Reverend’s cross embodied the best parts of his human life, his
mother and the remains of his faith.
Carlisle ran out the back door of the blazing church, and
spirited away with the cross. He never saw his father’s grave, but
he never regretted it. He left his past behind him vowing never to
return.

77
78
 CHAPTER 5
~~1679~~

Carlisle walked slowly across the courtyard and noted

how little things had changed. He knew every worn step in the
stairwell, and there was still a dent in the familiar door where he
had knocked too hard one afternoon. There was no immediate
answer. It had been over five years since he had walked out, and
he hoped that the tenant had not left.
Carlisle turned his ear toward the door and heard snoring
on the other side. It was Hawthorne – he was sure of it – and a
few more moments of careful listening told him that Hawthorne
was alone. Carlisle’s brow furrowed slightly. Hawthorne was
alone and asleep at ten o’clock in the morning?
Carlisle carefully forced the lock on the door, causing as
little damage as he could, and then quickly re-bent the
mechanism into its proper shape as he re-latched the door. It was
dark inside; the curtains were drawn, and there was an
overwhelming odor of maladjusted living. Carlisle threw open
the curtains and took a full assessment of the mess.

79
 Hawthorne was asleep on his workbench, his hand
gripping a bottle of wine. The apartment was covered in soiled
clothes and half-eaten food. The lab was unkempt and dirty. The
books and stacks were completely scattered, notes unfiled.
Carlisle’s face became grieved. He had caused more
harm than he could have ever predicted by leaving his mentor.
Carlisle walked over to Hawthorne and pulled the wine bottle
from his grasp. He could see there was no danger of rousing him.
He lifted the unconscious man easily, though Hawthorne had
clearly gained nearly forty pounds in the last five years, and
deposited him on the small bed in the private room.
Carlisle then proceeded to clean up the mess. He spent
most of the day reorganizing the books and notes, and cleaning
the worktable and lab where he had spent countless hours.
Under a pile of rags and other detritus he found the
wooden chest from their blood experiments. Carlisle opened it
and found the letter Hawthorne had written to the Regius
Professor of the Physic for him. He put the letter back inside,
picked up the chest and put it on the worktable.
Then he heard retching in the private room. Carlisle ran
in quickly and turned the old man on his side to prevent him
from choking on his own vomit. He then cleaned him up and
started to change his foul clothes. As Carlisle turned Hawthorne
on his side he noticed something; he pressed his hand into
Hawthorne’s side, causing him to grunt in protest as he slept, but

80
Carlisle could easily feel what he knew was a significantly
enlarged liver.
Carlisle pulled off Hawthorne’s shirt and took a closer
look at his belly. The massive girth shook easily, too easily. It
was fluid, not fat. Carlisle turned his head toward the chamber
pot he had used to hold Hawthorne’s vomit. He had already
smelled the blood, but when he looked inside he saw more blood
than he expected. Carlisle bowed his head. Hawthorne was
dying.
For a brief moment Carlisle considered leaving as he
wondered if reappearing so suddenly would not be a terribly
cruel act. But then his compassion for his mentor overwhelmed
that inclination. Hawthorne deserved a caretaker.
Carlisle ran back to the inn where he had deposited his
belongings and quickly arranged for an evening meal to be
prepared for Hawthorne. Then he retrieved a few of his books
and paid for his room for the week.
When Carlisle returned with the food and supplies
Hawthorne still had not moved. He put the meal next to the
hearth to keep it as warm as possible until the old man awoke.
As Carlisle cleaned the common room he found a stash of ale
and wine. He grimaced, realizing how bad the situation was; he
was not going to be able to throw away the alcohol. Hawthorne
was going to have to be weaned off or allowed to drink until he
died. Carlisle would have to give him that choice.

81
 He made a little space for his books and belongings and
around two o’clock the chapel rang the morning hour as Carlisle
was reading a book he had bought in London about maladies of
the liver. When he heard Hawthorne stirring, he looked up.
Hawthorne stumbled slightly as he walked out into the
common room. He did not even note that Carlisle was sitting in
the chair by the fire closest to the front door. He simply went
directly to the opposite corner by the window to the large trunk
that held his alcohol. When he opened it he cursed loudly
because though Carlisle had not thrown the bottles away, he had
moved them so the trunk was empty. Then Hawthorne turned to
the window and realized it was either very late or very early, so
getting more provisions would have to wait. He sat heavily on
the trunk and sighed. Then he put a hand to his right side and
grimaced from the pain.
“Your pain is getting worse?” Carlisle said quietly.
Hawthorne looked up at the pale figure and shook his
head. “Mr. Cullen, leave me alone. I’m tired of talking to you.”
Carlisle smiled slightly. “I haven’t spoken to you in over
five years, Professor.”
Hawthorne did a double take. He closed his eyes and
shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, Carlisle had
soundlessly crossed the room and was now crouching next to
Hawthorne. Hawthorne nearly fell off the trunk with surprise,
but Carlisle caught him, lifted him up and put him down on the
couch by the fire.

82
 Hawthorne’s eyes were wide with disbelief, and he was
completely speechless. Carlisle sat down nearby with a small
smile on his lips and waited for Hawthorne to recover from the
shock of seeing the sophisticatedly dressed and confident
incarnation of his former student. Hawthorne tore his amazed
eyes from the graceful blonde vampire and took a cursory glance
around the room.
“Now I understand why this place is so clean,”
Hawthorne mumbled.
Carlisle merely smiled again.
“Do I smell hot food?” he said with a raspy voice.
Carlisle nodded.
“You have learned to cook?” Hawthorne lifted his brow.
Carlisle chuckled. “I always knew how to cook; I just
don’t eat.” He walked over to the covered bowl and brought it to
Hawthorne with a spoon.
Hawthorne was still slightly dumbfounded and ate the
stew with quiet relish, keeping one eye on Carlisle, who sat and
waited patiently.
“I really wish you would not sit there and watch me.
You become a little creepy when you do that,” Hawthorne said
grumpily.
Carlisle flitted over to the chair he had been sitting in
and picked up his book. Hawthorne continued to watch Carlisle
sit and read silently as he ate. He knew he was still at least
partially drunk, and he half expected Carlisle to disappear again.

83
When he finished eating Carlisle took the bowl and set it aside.
Then he went to the cupboard where he had put all of the alcohol
and locked it in. He heard Hawthorne curse again.
“What are you doing, hiding my wine?” Hawthorne
exclaimed.
Carlisle turned around and was holding a full cup. He
walked over to Hawthorne and handed it to him. Hawthorne
looked back at Carlisle as he sat down again next to him. Carlisle
leaned forward onto his knees and held Hawthorne with his deep
golden gaze.
“I’m sure you realize that you are dying. I am going to
stay with you. I need to know what you want me to do.”
Carlisle’s face became quite serious. “I will unlock the cupboard
if you wish.”
Hawthorne looked down at the cup of wine in his hand.
Then he sighed and looked back at Carlisle and a half-smile
pulled up his chubby cheek. “Unlock it, Mr. Cullen. We’ll make
it a death worthy of your return.” And then he tossed back the
entire cup.
Carlisle was somewhat relieved to not have to nurse
Hawthorne through alcohol withdrawal, which was a common
problem in the indigent clinics where he had worked in London.
Instead, he simply had to dose Hawthorne every few hours, and
he remained marginally intoxicated and relatively affable.
Hawthorne had Carlisle telling stories of his adventures in

84
London, of what he had observed, and of the general state of
humanity there.
Several days later, however, Hawthorne took a turn for
the worse. The pain in his right side was increasing, and the
alcohol could not give him any more relief. He was vomiting up
blood regularly and unable to eat due to the pain. Soon he was
unable to get out of bed. Carlisle suspected the bleeding would
kill him before the cancer in his liver would. Carlisle obtained
some laudanum in case things turned ugly.
When Carlisle returned that afternoon he found
Hawthorne at his workbench. He was just closing the wooden
chest.
“Professor, please, you really shouldn’t move around a
lot when I’m not here, I’m afraid you could fall and injure
yourself,” Carlisle said gently, putting his hat and cloak on the
chair near the door.
Hawthorne hobbled over to the couch, and Carlisle
helped him find a comfortable position. Hawthorne breathed
heavily through the pain and wiped his brow with his sleeve.
Then he looked up at Carlisle’s concerned amber eyes.
“Why did you come back, Mr. Cullen?” Hawthorne
shook his head. “Why did you come back now, when I’m in such
a sad state?”
Carlisle had been so preoccupied he hadn’t thought
about it much since the day he had returned. “I thought I was

85
returning to begin my training.” Carlisle looked up at
Hawthorne. “But the truth is, I came back to see you, Professor.”
Hawthorne’s eyes shined with tears and he looked away
to the window. Carlisle had not truly realized how much
Hawthorne cared until that moment. He knew Hawthorne
deserved to hear everything.
“I went to see my father,” Carlisle said softly.
Hawthorne looked back at him, his brows lifted.
“He had died of scarlet fever two years prior to my
return,” Carlisle said dispassionately. “I discovered that after I
was bitten he tried to hunt me down and destroy me.” His brow
knitted. “He never in my entire life did anything to benefit me.”
He looked up at Hawthorne. “I deserted the one man who did.”
Hawthorne smiled slightly. “Yes, well, I did not have
entirely pure motivations either, my boy. You were the prodigy
that I had been seeking my entire career. You were my crutch.
As long as I focused on you, I was able to ignore myself. And
you can see how talented I am at taking care of myself.” He
laughed. “But none of that is your fault.” He shook his head.
“You left when you needed to. That is what a young man should
do.”
Carlisle smiled. “I’m thirty-six now.”
Hawthorne chuckled. “You don’t look a day over
nineteen, although the way you carry yourself now, makes you
seem older. But I’m over fifty now, so you should listen to the
old man.” Hawthorne leaned forward. “I know you see your life

86
as a curse, but believe me, God has purpose for you. You are
unique among humanity, so I must conclude you are one of a
kind among vampires. Others in the past may have attempted
what you are about to embark upon, but their accomplishments
will pale next to yours. Your will, your intelligence and your
compassion are unparalleled. You have a radiance about you that
I cannot fully comprehend.” Hawthorne smiled slightly at
Carlisle’s disbelieving expression.
“Oh, how I envy you. To have an eternity to dedicate to
books and learning!” He laughed at such trivial thoughts, and
Carlisle had to smile. “There are so many things I would do that
I never pursued in this life! Music, engineering, philosophy!” He
seemed to relish that last subject in particular. He turned back to
Carlisle. “Do not waste it. Find your peace in helping others.
You are a sign from God, Carlisle.”
Later that night Hawthorne slipped into a coma, and
three days later he died. Carlisle arranged the burial with the
university and spoke at the evening funeral.
There was a light drizzle the entire day, almost as if
Hawthorne somehow had made certain that Carlisle would not
be caught indoors due to a sunny day. The chapel bell tolled as
the small crowd gathered, and they all stared at Carlisle as they
entered. He nodded at each of the professors and administrators
but did not shake any hands.
The lack of sun outside made the interior of the church
very dim. Candles were lit to help those with failing sight to read

87
their scripture. Then Carlisle stood up at the pulpit. He could see
they were intimidated by his size and Carlisle frowned at the
crowd because they were all wondering about him and not
thinking of Hawthorne.
“My name is Carlisle, and Professor Hawthorne asked
me to speak today because I was one of his last students. But, the
professor was more than just a teacher. He saw me for who I
was; he helped me to better myself when I was in a dark place.
He was a friend to me when no one else would have dared. He
taught me to love learning again. He gave me direction when I
had none. He showed me how I could learn to live in the world
again. He was the savior of my humanity. He will always be
more of a father to me than mine ever was.”
Carlisle was gratified when by the end of his speech
there were some wet eyes and many nodding heads. He was too
tall to carry Hawthorne’s coffin on his shoulder as a pallbearer,
but he easily supported the coffin with his arm in the procession
out to the burial site in the chapel cemetery.
The drizzle continued as they lowered the coffin, and as
Carlisle dropped in the first handful of dirt he whispered, “Thank
you.”
Carlisle assisted with cleaning out Hawthorne’s office,
and the university clerk brought Carlisle Hawthorne’s will.
Hawthorne had changed his Last Will and Testament while
Carlisle was still in Cambridge and left everything to Carlisle.
He didn’t bother to change it again after Carlisle left.

88
 Hawthorne had been a man of means before he married.
When he married he had been elevated by his wife’s dowry to a
status where he never had to work again. When his wife died he
returned to his first love, academia. Because he lived a simple
life in Cambridge, his untouched wealth had grown significantly
during the last twenty years of his life.
Carlisle made arrangements to sell the land and property
that Hawthorne had inherited and liquefied everything else but
his books and notes. Most of them he donated to the university,
but he kept certain medical texts and a few others with
sentimental value, which he packed away carefully.
The last thing Carlisle retrieved was the wooden chest
from the worktable. He opened it and found again the letter
Hawthorne had written for him. But now there was a new item.
Carlisle picked it up and recognized it as Hawthorne’s family
crest ring. He had noticed that Hawthorne had not been wearing
it the last few days before he died. Carlisle had assumed that
Hawthorne’s fingers had simply gotten too swollen for him to
wear it any longer. But Hawthorne had left it to him.
Carlisle put the ring on his left ring finger, and it was
only slightly loose. Carlisle was so moved by this final gesture,
essentially naming Carlisle as the heir of Hawthorne’s family
line, that he briefly considered taking Hawthorne’s name. But
Carlisle finally decided that he needed to remember where he
came from, no matter how much distance he put between himself
and England.

89
 Carlisle flexed his hand that now bore the ring and then
picked up the wooden chest and walked out of the university
apartments.

90
 CHAPTER 6
~~1686~~

“Hold him down!” the master surgeon barked. Carlisle

took extra care not to break the man’s bones with his iron grip.
He forced himself to keep breathing the scent that set fire to his
throat every time he took a gulp of air, but he did turn his head
away to avoid a squirt of bright red blood. The master surgeon
saw Carlisle turn away and scowled. “So help me, boy, if you
don’t do your job I will find a little child who can!”
Carlisle finally gave up trying to desensitize his nose and
stopped breathing and then focused on applying the right
pressure with the tourniquet. He had worked around a lot of
blood and body fluids in his five years of training in the hospital,
but when there were open arteries spouting fountains of blood
right before his eyes Carlisle still had not found a place he could
go with his mind where he could completely keep his focus. It
was excruciating work, but the mental defeat was even worse.
Carlisle was very, very frustrated.
A twist of fate or luck had brought Carlisle to the

91
attention of the master surgeon, a physic called Moreau, and
Carlisle had accepted a position training with him in a somewhat
masochistic attempt to seek a breakthrough. For two months he
had worked inhuman hours with the master.
Moreau never gave a first name to anyone. Carlisle
supposed that a few of the older physics must know his real
name, but no one seemed inclined to reveal it or even whisper it.
There were wild rumors among the students about Moreau being
a former government assassin, a spy, a pirate, and even a fallen
royal family member.
The man was struggling less and turning pale. Carlisle
looked up at his enigmatic teacher. Moreau worked skillfully at
repairing the artery that had been slashed in a knife fight on the
streets of Paris. Suddenly the man lost consciousness and went
limp in Carlisle’s hands. Amazingly, Moreau worked even
faster. Carlisle had never seen a human with such nimble fingers.
Within seconds the artery was repaired. Then Carlisle released
the tourniquet, allowing a little venous blood in the leg to return
to the man’s system, and his color improved slightly.
“Well, if the bastard has enough blood left, he might live
to revenge his assault and be back on our table in a month,”
Moreau growled as he threw down his tools and wiped blood and
copious sweat from his face.
Carlisle began to breathe again, and Moreau
immediately turned toward him with a raised eyebrow. “Were
you HOLDING your breath?” he said incredulously.

92
 Carlisle did not dare look up at Moreau. He knew better
than that.
“Get out of my theatre! Come back when you’ve
collected your senses, you incompetent BRAT!” Moreau
thundered.
Carlisle exited Moreau’s presence closing the door
behind him of the small operating room where they performed
the particularly disturbing operations. The thin walls did slightly
muffle the sound of screaming patients. He sighed with relief as
he walked quickly away and began to strip off his blood-soaked
apron as he walked down the hall toward the larger patient
wards. The last few months had been particularly difficult, but he
could not deny that working with the surgeons was the most
amazing challenge he had met since beginning his work in
indigent hospitals ten years before in London. And he was still
clinging to the hope that as long as he continued Hawthorne’s
method he would find a way to work as a physic without pain.
He just needed more time. Carlisle smiled ruefully. Time was
exactly what he had.
“The old pirate kicked you out again, did he, kid?” A
man in his twenties with long dark hair walked up beside
Carlisle with a twinkle in his ice blue eyes.
Carlisle allowed a small smile to creep into the edges of
his mouth but did not meet his friend’s gaze. Pierre was five
months older than the twenty-four years Carlisle was now
claiming, and had started his training at the hospital only six

93
months before Carlisle. Many others had come and left the
training; they alone had survived the last five years together.
“The secret spy allowed me to stay until he finished this
time, Pierre,” Carlisle shrugged.
Pierre laughed out loud. “I think you are the only student
to see an entire surgery by Moreau. He must believe you are the
future master of surgeons, or a possible future surgeon to the
Dauphin.”
Carlisle chuckled. “No matter how perfect my French is,
an Englishman will never be allowed into the inner sanctum of
Versailles.”
Pierre shook his head. “All you have to do is meet my
friends, and they can get you an audience with the Duchesse. She
will introduce you at court.”
Carlisle turned his head slightly toward his friend. “How
can you think of such things? How is that frivolity at all worthy
of your time?”
Pierre laughed again. “If I did not meet my friends and
discuss the frivolity of Descartes occasionally, all of this
suffering would drive me mad.”
Carlisle stopped walking and turned to look into his
friend’s eyes. “Are those thoughts not more worthy of a
conversation with God than with humans?”
Pierre lifted an eyebrow. “God?” Then he smirked.
“Come now, Carlisle, you are a good British Catholic boy, you
know what Hell looks like. You know God does not exist in this

94
abyss. He has forgotten these people. God cannot help me
through this work.” Pierre waved a hand toward the rows of
dying poor, unable to look back at them while admitting his
despair. Carlisle frowned, considering Pierre’s bleak perspective,
but then a booming voice interrupted his thoughts.
“MONSIEUR CULLEN!” Moreau was back.
Pierre’s head turned as quickly as Carlisle’s. Then he
looked back at Carlisle’s slightly frightened expression.
“I did not think you could blanche any whiter, my
ghostly friend,” Pierre laughed. “You’d better run, kid, or the
government assassin may come after you with a cleaver.”
Carlisle tried to laugh off Pierre’s comments but then
turned and rushed back toward Moreau.
As he ran up, Moreau stood with his arms crossed over
his broad chest. He was several inches shorter than Carlisle but
much more solidly built. His disapproving stare and deep frown
was withering, but Carlisle was never as intimidated as Moreau
wished he was because Carlisle knew what true hatred looked
like. Moreau’s expression in no way resembled his father’s
countenance.
“Yes, Monsieur!” Carlisle stood at attention and did not
look at Moreau.
Moreau growled low in his throat for a moment. “Get
your pathetic bony ass in here.” Then he turned and walked back
into his theatre.
Carlisle was completely taken by surprise. He did not

95
hear a new patient inside or any other staff. Carlisle rushed in
after Moreau. As soon as he crossed the threshold he realized
what his heightened senses had been telling him, and the wave
hit him in the face: death. There was so much death everywhere
in the hospital he actually did not notice it as much as simply
accepted the stench along with the smell of the living humans.
This room, however, held the uncompromising reek of recent
death – an odor even humans can appreciate but never
experience as acutely as vampires.
“Do you know why this man is dead, Monsieur Cullen?”
Moreau was circling the table, which held the corpse of the
patient on which they had just operated. Carlisle could still feel
the residual heat radiating from the dead man’s body. Even after
the heart stopped, the remainder of the body continued to
struggle to maintain life, until all physiologic processes failed,
one by one. Because Carlisle was so close and acutely aware of
this body he could sense the slow death of each organ, as
Moreau continued to stare at him, waiting for an answer.
Carlisle held his back straight. “Monsieur, the patient
had a severe incised wound of his femoral artery and lost
approximately one third of his blood despite the successful repair
by our master surgeon,” Carlisle said quickly.
Moreau now stared at Carlisle with narrowed eyes. “No,
Monsieur Cullen, that is not why he died.”
Carlisle held perfectly still and awaited his lashing.
Moreau stood right next to Carlisle and stared at him for

96
a few seconds before he whispered, “Are you an angel of death,
Monsieur Cullen?”
Carlisle’s eyes widened, and he looked down at Moreau
with just a little panic creeping into his face. In an instant he
recalled his escape plan: he would leave most of his possessions
behind, and he had a small but significant reserve of money
hidden and easily accessible…
Moreau did not notice that Carlisle was completely
frozen as he resumed pacing. “Monsieur Cullen, I suggest you go
home this morning and contemplate your career.” Moreau
cleared his throat. “You have precision and stamina that I have
not seen in a decade.” This admission of any redeeming quality
in Carlisle seemed to leave a severely bitter taste in his mouth.
But Carlisle then realized his secret was safe, and he tried to
refocus his thoughts on what Moreau was prattling on about.
“Monsieur Cullen, PAY ATTENTION!! THIS is what I
am talking about!” Moreau waved his arms at Carlisle. “You
LACK FOCUS!!” He pointed a finger at Carlisle’s long, straight
nose. “Every time you come close to demonstrating what you are
REALLY capable of, or every time I am trying to TEACH you
something, you seem to drift off to some other place and
daydream about things other than what is RIGHT IN FRONT OF
YOU!” Moreau turned to the table and lifted the dead man’s arm
and shook it at Carlisle to emphasize his last five words. He
dropped the arm back to the table, and it landed with a dramatic
thud. Moreau moved closer to Carlisle again. “Until you dedicate

97
yourself to this endeavor, FULLY dedicate yourself, you will
continue to kill people.” Then he lifted up the tourniquet.
Carlisle stared at the tool in Moreau’s hand and
wondered how many people were going to die while he trained
himself to ignore his instincts. Experiments that put no one in
danger were one affair, but trying to be something against his
very nature was playing with people’s lives to achieve his goal.
Moreau leveled his narrow gaze into Carlisle’s golden
stare. Carlisle dropped his eyes slightly. With that small act of
contrition Moreau was finally satisfied that Carlisle had listened.
“Now move this man to the morgue, and go home,
Angel of Death.” Moreau snorted at his new joke as he headed
for the door. “And pray to Almighty God that he will reclaim
your soul!” Moreau shouted as he left the room and walked out
into the hall.
Carlisle looked down at the body. He wasn’t sure he
could pray. He hadn’t tried since he sat in his father’s church,
before it burned to the ground. His prayer since the night he was
transformed was that God would strike him down. That prayer
had gone unanswered. Carlisle felt more disconnected from God
than ever.
Carlisle wrapped the body in a sheet, and then easily laid
it over his shoulder. He carried it down to the basement level and
carefully deposited it on the pile for pickup later that evening. As
he turned to leave he noticed a corpse on an autopsy table. He
moved closer, curious about what they had found. He noted that

98
there was no blood on the floor, or on the corpse. Then he
realized it was completely drained of blood. Carlisle
immediately lifted the chin of the fully rigor body, and found
what he suspected: a half-moon bite mark. Sloppy to allow a
body to be found… like the vampire who bit me, Carlisle
grimaced.
Carlisle leaned on the autopsy table and stared at the bite
mark. He had seen several bodies like this one over the years on
unnamed victims. He had not actively sought out his kind in
more than forty years as a vampire. He had many questions, and
his long study of himself and his body now filled over 100
notebooks locked in his cabinet. Something still kept him from
seeking others like him. If he did find them, he wondered, how
would they perceive him and his unwillingness to feed on
humans or his wish to live as a human? Would they merely mock
him, or would they destroy him?
Carlisle walked slowly back up the stairs to the ward. He
washed his hands in the tub of bloody water merely to prevent
staining his clothes with blood and retrieved his coat and hat.
“Dismissed already?” Pierre said lightly.
Carlisle had heard his friend coming long before his
footfalls were audible to human ears. He wanted to talk to Pierre
and had taken his time preparing to leave. He turned toward his
friend. “I feel the need for a discussion of ethics. Is your
invitation to the salon still open?”
Pierre grinned widely. “They are going to be very

99
intrigued by you.”
Carlisle did not like the sound of that. He had come so
close to panic just a short time ago when he thought he had been
discovered. But he had to start somewhere and he was not ready
for another confrontation with the church – not yet. He would
start with some philosophes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle walked up to his apartments off the Avenue des

Champs-Elysees, admiring the aromas of spring green and
carefully tended flowers. The early morning moon was large and
low, just peeking over the buildings of Paris.
He had emerged under a full moon from the English
Channel in Calais in 1681 looking more like a wet rat than a
gentleman. He had to swim after the ship that transported his
belongings because there was no way to avoid the sun on a ship.
Once in Calais he went through another transformation.
He kept his name, but he was now a nineteen-year-old son from
a Catholic family escaping persecution by coming to France, and
was on his way to Paris. He was maintaining this façade to fit in
better in the society ruled by the Catholic-dominated court of
Versailles. Over the year prior to sailing he had concluded his
consolidation of Hawthorne’s estate and had arranged a
relationship with a solicitor in Paris who had connections to
Hawthorne’s wife’s family. Msr. Francois Perenott already had

100
Carlisle’s bank accounts and apartment set up prior to his arrival.
The carriage ride from Calais to Paris was much more pleasant
than the turbulent swim from Dover to the French coast.
Soon after his arrival in Paris he began working at a
local public clinic as he had done in London and quickly caught
the eye of local physics, who had inquired about his previous
training. He claimed to have none – just a close relationship with
his family physic. They took him under their wings and soon
began training him in triage.
Pierre had started the training just before Carlisle and at
first he was wary of the pale, young newcomer. One evening he
helped Pierre with a woman who was complaining of a terrible
rash that covered her body. Pierre was at his wit’s end because
he could not find a systemic cause. Carlisle pointed out that she
was wearing wool undergarments that seemed to irritate her skin.
They laughed all night. Despite Carlisle’s clearly superior
knowledge and skill, Pierre had assumed an older brother role
due to his supposedly greater age and he had become quite fond
of Carlisle even though his manner was quiet and secretive.
Carlisle was nervous about finally meeting more of
Pierre’s friends, or even just expanding his social circle. He was
not sure about how this would affect his cover of mystery.
He entered his apartments and was greeted by his
maidservant. He feigned weariness from his shift at the hospital
and then withdrew to his bedchamber that was already cleaned
and set. Carlisle lay out on the settee completely still and

101
contemplated the following evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Duchesse’s palais was just outside the center of

Paris, and Carlisle could feel the heat of all the guests before he
even crossed the threshold. The salon was a gathering of great
and lesser minds and was financed by the Duchesse primarily for
her own amusement. Carlisle walked into what was the opulently
gilded main parlor of the house, and a tidal wave of sensory
information engulfed him. The playful tones of a light and gay
string quartet with a soprano belting out some lyrics about her
latest lover floated through the far doorway from the high,
arched ceilings of the music room. There was a group smoking
hand-rolled tobacco in one corner near an open window and
partially concealed by the heavy silk drapery and Carlisle caught
the scent of their blood diluted by copious champagne.
There was a group of ladies wearing clashing floral
perfumes and large feathers that floated two feet above their
heads, lounging on large couches and eating chocolates. They
instantly noted Carlisle’s entrance, and with his superior hearing
he could discern their comments on his viciously pale
complexion and deliciously lean figure.
There were several sets of pairs and triples walking
between the series of rooms, completely oblivious to all to all the
fine pieces of artwork, the sculpture, and even the wealth of

102
intellect all around them; instead, they were discussing
completely inane and vapid topics like the color of the Dauphin’s
hat that day. And Carlisle could hear that within the rooms
several couples were radiating heat and endorphins as they
engaged in various levels of copulation in the dark corners not
illuminated by candlelight.
In the far corner of the main room standing next to one
of the four fireplaces was a tall, slim man who had also watched
Carlisle’s entrance. He was near to a small group of men with
various levels of formal dress who were engaged in the one of
the few intellectual conversations. The man by the fireplace
watched Carlisle take stock of every occupant in the room. Then
one of his group headed straight for Carlisle.
Pierre had been engaged in a vigorous debate, but as
soon as he saw Carlisle he hurried over. “Welcome! Welcome,
Monsieur Cullen! You must first meet the Duchesse; then I will
need your help to convince these fools that Cartesian
Rationalism is not dead, for the Demon trickster is among us!”
He laughed, tossing a glance back at the tall man by the
fireplace.
Carlisle was steered over to the group of women
lounging with the chocolates. The most impressively dressed
woman in the group was introduced as the Duchesse. Carlisle
kept his face perfectly neutral and formal and held her eyes in an
unblinking gaze, his back perfectly straight as he bowed low.
She nodded her head but despite her best attempts to appear

103
bored with the introduction Carlisle heard her heart rate increase.
He could see pulsing arteries in her neck and feel the warmth of
a slight flush in her cheeks under her painted white face which
could not hide the fact that she was well into her forties.
When Carlisle stood up again it was quite apparent to all
that he was the second tallest man in the room. The man still
watching him from the fireplace was perhaps an inch or two
taller but significantly skinnier. All the women looked up at
Carlisle in wonder. Pierre grinned as the entire room quieted and
everyone tried to discreetly gawk at the introduction. Then he
immediately brought Carlisle to the group in the corner, and
Carlisle heard the women discussing his physical attributes once
again behind him. He cringed slightly internally.
The tall man standing next to the fireplace did not wait
to be introduced before he stepped forward, somewhat rudely.
“That was the biggest reaction I’ve seen from the Duchesse in
years.” Then he lifted one brow and the same side of his thin
mouth turned upward giving him quite an impish look.
“Monsieur De Molineus is used to being the most
impressive man in the room; ignore his jealous ill-humor.” Pierre
quipped.
“Alain De Molineus.” The tall slim man lowered his
lifted brow and then bowed.
“Carlisle Cullen.” Carlisle returned the bow.
“Cullen? You are British?” Alain’s other brow lifted
independently of the first one in the same high arch.

104
 Carlisle nodded. “Catholic British.”
“Ah, calamité! We need an atheist in this debate!” Alain
put his hand to his forehead in mock anguish.
The other men in the group chuckled at Alain’s theatrics.
Pierre turned toward them. When Carlisle regarded this motley
crew he wondered if he had overdressed for his gathering; his
pale gray silk had seemed subdued when he dressed. Among the
elite in the room he did look bland, but his suit outshone the
darker tones and poorer fabrics of a few of his new companions.
However, they were each obviously educated gentlemen of
means; they simply lacked the fashion sense of some others in
the room.
Pierre pointed toward the first man. “Monsieur Cullen,
may I introduce Monsieur Gaudet.”
A red-haired man with a warm smile who smelled of his
fish dinner stood up. “Thierry Gaudet.”
“Monsieur Lechevalier.”
A man with a very young face, wide green eyes, and a
white wig stood up. “René Lechevalier.”
“Monsieur Prideaux.”
A man with olive skin, dark hair, and blood with an
aroma like moist earth smiled at Carlisle. “Luc Prideaux,
Monsieur Cullen.”
“I am delighted to make your acquaintance.” Carlisle
nodded to each of them. “And I am religious by birth, but in
spirit, God and I have a few… differences.” All of the men

105
cheered, except Alain, who smiled broadly.
Across the room, the Duchesse watched the handsome
newcomer for the rest of the evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle began meeting the group of philophes three

times a week. They would meet at the Duchesse’s salon on
Saturday evenings. Monday they met for brandy at the Léon, a
dining room and lounge. And once a week they would attend
some kind of lecture or performance chosen by Pierre. He was
the only one connected in the universities, so he had the most
knowledge of events.
Alain and Pierre had attended university classes
together, but Alain decided he was superior to the professors and
dropped out while Pierre continued to bear the brunt of
tyrannical professors. Thierry and Luc were a little older and had
graduated, and their independent fortunes afforded them the
leisure to continue intellectual pursuits, which quite often
involved significant wine consumption. René was the baby and
was mostly there because he worshiped Alain. René confided in
Carlisle that it was his intention to go to university, but he
enjoyed the superior company of the gentlemen and found giving
up the lifestyle a difficult prospect.
Pierre and Carlisle often found themselves on the same
side of an argument, but Carlisle knew that Alain just enjoyed

106
pitting his intellect against the next strongest mind in the group.
Sometimes the others would fall asleep as Alain and Carlisle
refused to let them get a word in. Luc was the only one who
could get under Alain’s skin with his snide sarcasm, and he
would often wink at Carlisle once he finally succeeded in turning
Alain’s head.
Work remained primary, but for the first time Carlisle
began to look forward to his time outside of work. The release of
entering the social sphere alleviated an ailment Carlisle did not
even realize was plaguing him: achingly abysmal loneliness. He
had been in survival mode for so long, hiding from everyone,
including himself, that the last time Carlisle had a group of
acquaintances with whom to waste away the time had been in
boarding school. The happy memories came flooding back, and
Carlisle began to relax.
Moreau began to notice the change in Carlisle’s
demeanor over the next couple of years, and as Carlisle relaxed,
Moreau actually did too. They were working more smoothly, and
with their speed and Moreau’s expertise, together they were
developing quite a reputation as the miracle workers of the night
shift. Soon Moreau began letting Carlisle take the lead. He was
precise, but he still had limits, and Moreau watched him
carefully.
One evening a screaming young woman was brought
into the theatre. She was giving birth, but all that was coming out
was blood. “We have to remove her uterus, or both she and the

107
child will die!” Moreau yelled. Their new assistant held the
woman down as Moreau made the first incision. Within seconds
he had the uterus open and the child out, and he walked away
trying to revive the child. Carlisle was expected to finish the
surgery.
Carlisle quickly lifted the engorged uterus and began to
count the vessels as he clamped them off, but suddenly the
aroma of the uterus in his hands began to overwhelm his senses.
The heat from the blood was rising in his face, and then suddenly
there was blood on his lips and his face as an anomalous vessel
he had failed to clamp sprayed him as he cut the uterus from the
patient. The patient had lost so much blood already that the
unclamped vessel was her end, and Carlisle watched her eyes
fade.
“Apparently you are not praying hard enough, Angel of
Death!” Moreau screamed.
Pierre found Carlisle sitting, still stained up to his
elbows with the young woman’s blood and leaning forward onto
his knees in a hallway. “You all right, kid?” Pierre had never
seen Carlisle looking so forlorn.
Carlisle looked away. “I’m really starting to question if
this is what God means for me to do.”
Pierre looked at Carlisle thoughtfully, “Come my friend,
we are due at the Léon.”
Alain was the only one to meet them that particular
evening. “Tell me what the problem is, Monsieur Cullen. I’ve

108
never seen you as cheerless and boring as you are this evening.”
Alain sipped his brandy and looked irritated.
Carlisle considered his words. “I am unable to find a
place of peace when I am trying to focus during surgery.”
Alain scoffed. “What am I, a priest? You are seeking
advice?” Then he smirked as he lifted a brow. “You want
something from me, I want something from you. Agreed?” Alain
leaned forward.
Carlisle narrowed his eyes, but then he nodded.
Alain smiled. “Instead of finding your focus in peace,
you must find your focus and the peace will follow. Simple,
n’est-ce pas?”
“How do you expect him to simply ‘find his focus’?”
Pierre chuckled, amused by this entire exchange.
“That I cannot say. What causes you to lose your way?”
Alain waved his hand at Carlisle.
Carlisle was tired and frustrated, and he wanted to know
if Alain truly had some knowledge that he lacked. He decided
honesty was the only way to get to the problem. “Overwhelming
desire.”
Alain’s eyes narrowed. “Desire for what?”
Carlisle looked directly into Alain’s gaze. “Blood.”
For the first time since they had met, Alain was
speechless. Pierre’s eyes were wide. Carlisle looked at each of
them in turn, holding their gaze with all of his magnetic powers.
He used his mesmerizing voice. “I had a teacher who showed me

109
that continued exposure to what I desire most diminishes that
desire, and it worked. But there is one more step I am missing. I
can follow his method perfectly, but I still fail to conquer my
desires, the pain causes me to make mistakes, and I lose
patients.”
“It is you, Monsieur,” Alain said without any pretension
in his voice.
“What do you mean?” Carlisle was becoming impatient.
“Whatever is driving you toward this goal, you must let
it go. You are getting in your own way. Instead, your attention
must be on your task and your patient. When you stop making
your surgery about overcoming your problems and instead focus
on repairing a laceration, or on saving a man’s life so he can see
his children, then you will succeed.”
Carlisle was shocked. He was concentrating only on
overcoming being a vampire. Instead, he needed to reconnect
with his humanity. After all, was that not what Carlisle had been
trying to do since the day he was bitten?
“The light in your eyes just changed, Monsieur.” Carlisle
realized Alain was now leaning forward as far as he could and
still remain seated on his silk-covered chair across from Carlisle.
Carlisle knew he had opened a door to an extremely
inquisitive human, and he was taking a risk that could quite
possibly require him to move much sooner than he intended.
Alain was exactly the minority Hawthorne had warned Carlisle
about. But he didn’t really care if he had to leave. This revelation

110
was worth it.
“Now I want something from you,” Alain looked
directly into Carlisle’s eyes and did not smile. “You can enchant
a Duchesse and an entire room and even entice me to tell you
exactly what you need to hear. I want to know if you have made
some pact with the Devil for such beauty and power?” Alain was
practically salivating as he voiced his long-held desire to
command such control over others.
Carlisle had known for years that Alain did not want
friendship from him. The desire for physical beauty Carlisle
understood; the Duchesse had made it quite clear to him her
desires. But Alain’s obsession was entirely different. Carlisle
realized how dangerously close he was. He had revealed his
bloodlust, but he would not give Alain any more. “No, I made no
deals. I never wanted this life. But I fear the Devil possesses me
despite my best efforts.”
Carlisle stood, paid for his still untouched brandy, and
walked out of the club, leaving Pierre and Alain to stare at
opposite corners of the café.

111
112
 CHAPTER 7
~~1721~~

“Doctor Cullen? Doctor Cullen!!” The man with the

lantern outside had seen him walking through the front parlor
and was waving at him frantically.
Carlisle had heard the carriage approaching a mile away,
and had timed his appearance to the moment the farmer would
be running up the drive. He opened the small wooden door,
which was low enough that he had to stoop slightly to step
outside the country cottage.
“Please, sir! My daughter is ill!” Sweat dotted the
farmer’s brow as he stopped short of the impressively tall, pale
man.
Carlisle inclined his head. “Of course, Herr Zimmer.”
Carlisle reached back inside and picked up his bag, which he
always kept by the door.
Zimmer drove Carlisle under an enormous full moon to
the small farmhouse just over two miles away through fields of
aromatic barley.

113
 “She just had a fever, but now my girl’s not making
sense, and she thrashes about!”
Carlisle’s sat in silence and listened calmly to Zimmer’s
worried chatter. Zimmer’s wife had died the previous spring of a
cough and fever, so it was no wonder he was sensitive about his
daughter’s temperature.
They arrived and Carlisle vaulted out of the carriage.
Zimmer brought Carlisle into the girl’s bedroom where he found
her listless and burning with fever in the arms of their older
housemaid. When he moved her head her legs flexed. Carlisle
probed the girl’s neck and could feel the swelling at the base of
the skull. “Herr Zimmer, your daughter is gravely ill. If I do
nothing she will die.”
Zimmer’s lip trembled, but his eyes were hard. “Please,
doctor, she is all I have left,” he whispered.
Carlisle looked at Zimmer with deep compassion. “It is
very likely she will still die, no matter what I do.”
Zimmer nodded. “What do you need?”
“You both must leave the house. If you have the
constitution to hear her scream you may stay within earshot; if
not, come back tomorrow at sunset.” Carlisle spoke without
looking at them and continued to probe her neck, noting her
responses to noxious stimuli.
Zimmer sighed and laid a gentle hand on his daughter’s
hair. “I love you, liebchen.”
They left with a few belongings to go to the farm five

114
miles down the lane. Within minutes Carlisle had his instruments
out and the girl laid on the kitchen table on a sheet. There was no
one within miles so Carlisle’s hands moved faster than human
sight. The cut-down took less than fifteen seconds. She barely
acknowledged the pain. Then he waited over an hour as the pus
drained from the base of her skull into the plate he slid beneath
her neck and chin. When the drainage had stopped she was
beginning to move around a little more, so he quickly closed and
cleaned his incisions. All he could do at that point was wait. But
as he carefully laid her on her back and wrapped a blanket
around her to prevent her from moving too much and pulling out
his stitches, he noticed a Bible on one of the kitchen table chairs.
He could not help himself; he silently prayed for the girl’s safety
without even thinking about it.
As he opened his eyes after the prayer, they were
widened with disbelief. He had not prayed in decades. Why
now? Why for this little girl? Carlisle quickly stood up and
stared at her tiny unmoving form for a moment, and then turned
away to busy himself finishing the cleanup after the surgery.
Around four in the afternoon Carlisle heard the girl
stirring in the next room. He went to her and found her blinking
in the sunlight. He moved closer to her and smiled down at her.
She lifted a hand and touched his sparkling face and
smiled. “Shiny… smooth,” she whispered. Carlisle looked down
at her tiny face framed by brown curls and wide blue eyes. For
the first time in a very long time he laughed.

115
 When Zimmer returned at sundown, Carlisle was
feeding the little girl chicken broth. The farmer fell to his knees
and wept on his daughter’s dressing gown. Zimmer drove
Carlisle home before daybreak. “She said you shine like an
angel.” He laughed at his daughter’s silly hallucination as he
stopped at Carlisle’s cottage.
Carlisle gave the farmer a half smile. “She will recover
her faculties in time. She must not exert herself with her chores
for at least a month.” Carlisle jumped down from the carriage
and retrieved his bag.
Zimmer nodded. “Thank you, doctor. You are an angel
to our family.” He drove away, and Carlisle waved at him before
retreating from the rising sun.
For thirty years Carlisle had kept to the countryside. He
had left Paris without preamble or explanation. He smiled to
himself when he thought of Moreau grousing over finding a new
assistant. Carlisle had decided to let go of his dream of being a
surgeon while he reconnected with his humanity. He became a
country physic, working with small communities for short
periods of time and focusing on his patients. He would appear
when a village needed his services, live on the very edge of the
town, and leave before anyone began to question his strange
ways and the fact that he never went out in direct sunlight. He
had shifted toward a more nomadic existence. Carlisle found it
alternately satisfying and secure but also crushingly isolating.
Three days later Carlisle decided to pay the little girl an

116
evening house visit. He drove up in his small, one-horse carriage
and saw that there was a fire in the hearth, but he did not hear or
smell any of the family. He decided to investigate because he
was worried that the small girl should not be traveling so soon.
Carlisle walked up the wooden steps to the house porch
and looked in the windows. Nothing looked disturbed. He
entered the house to investigate because he was absolutely
certain that the family was nowhere in the area.
The kitchen hearth was in fact slowly burning down to
coals, and had not been fed for some time. There was a pot full
of dinner stew hanging over the dying fire. There was no recent
evidence of the father, but he should have been indoors already
because at dusk the workers went home. The girl’s bed upstairs
was still warm. As he bent over the pillow he suddenly caught a
shadow of a scent that he never expected to find: vampires.
In an instant he put together the entire scenario. Nomad
vampires had probably happened upon the father as he returned
from the fields. Then, they surmised where he was heading and
quickly dispatched the housekeeper and daughter. Carlisle’s
vision in his head of the death of the little girl at the hands of a
vampire detonated an explosion of rage he had never felt before.
Now that Carlisle knew what he was looking for, he flew down
the stairs searching for the vampire scent, and he found it in the
kitchen and at the dining room table. They had been in the house
when Carlisle approached in his carriage.
Just as Carlisle stood up, he heard their return. He

117
straightened his spine and smoothed his silk jacket. It took every
ounce of his control not to attack the two vampires as the male
and female walked calmly into the kitchen. When they looked at
Carlisle, however, they blinked and looked at each other as if
they had seen something unexpected. After a moment of silence
the female looked back at Carlisle and spoke.
“We detected you on the child’s clothes. She was the
last, and we did not know you were first in the territory until
then. We extend our sincere apologies.” The female spoke with
authority, but she was authentically gracious.
Carlisle was completely caught off -guard. He had never
encountered a female who spoke before a male companion. But
overwhelming everything was his barely controlled fury at the
death of the family. His anger was so palpable that the male
glanced at the female and then stepped forward.
“I can see we’ve upset you, sir. But if you were here
before, why did you not take the family then?” His manner was
placid and rational.
Carlisle looked at the male and was elated to realize that
these were likely the first civilized vampires that he had ever
encountered, and then he was completely dismayed they had
misunderstood his anger as a territorial dispute. Carlisle regarded
both of them sternly. “I was here to save her life.”
Both vampires blinked again and the female looked to
the male, and the male nodded at her. Then with a lifted brow
she turned back to Carlisle. “And why would you save her life?”

118
 Carlisle lifted his bag and set it on the table. “Because I
am a healer.”
Again the female looked to the male who nodded then
she turned back to Carlisle. “Our kind have posed as healers
throughout history and taken the weak and the ill. Why would
you not do the same?”
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed and he replied through
clenched teeth, “I do not feed on humans.”
This time both vampires shifted their weight slightly
back as Carlisle spoke. When the male nodded at the female she
stared at her companion for several seconds. Then she took a
step forward with both hands outstretched. “I am Makenna. This
is Charles.” She was small and had long, dark hair; Charles had
short, maize-colored hair and was taller than Makenna, but still
nearly a foot shorter than Carlisle. They both wore common
clothing, and had bare feet.
“Please accept our sincere apologies. We never thought
we would give this kind of offense.” Charles’s voice was
placating.
Carlisle made no move to close the space between them
or to complete the introduction. “Where did you come from?” he
asked curtly.
“East,” Makenna said simply.
“Where did you come from?” Charles asked cordially.
“West,” Carlisle said plainly.
Charles smiled at this. “We would like to hear more

119
about you. Please. We have never met an animal-feeder before.
There are only vague legends, and the Volturi are not a library of
open information.”
These two strangers did not realize it, but the word
information changed Carlisle’s entire perspective on the
conversation. And the way the name Volturi fell with such
weight also caught his attention. Against his personal feelings,
he judged that he desperately needed to at least have this
discussion and to learn as much as he could from the visitors.
And he had to accept that they had murdered the farmer, the
housekeeper, and the little girl out of a natural instinct with
which he was only too familiar. If he was going to survive as a
vampire, he had to learn how to be around vampires.
Carlisle’s face remained stern. “While you are in this
village you will not show yourselves, and you will not feed on
any more of the residents.”
Charles glanced at Makenna, and then he nodded at
Carlisle. Carlisle was still frowning, but he nodded to them. “My
name is Carlisle. Follow me.”
The visitors seemed impressed not only by Carlisle’s
dress and demeanor but also by his carriage which was light and
fast. When they arrived at his cottage they were again surprised.
“Why do you have a permanent residence?” Makenna
said inquisitively as they walked inside.
“I try to stay in one place for as long as possible.”
Carlisle explained as he removed his jacket and solitaire,

120
loosening his shirt collar. Carlisle turned his head and Charles’s
eyes widened.
“My God, you were mauled, weren’t you?”
Carlisle looked back at Charles and his brows came
together. “What do you mean?”
Charles shook his head. “He must have been a complete
animal. I don’t know how you survived.” Charles pointed to
Carlisle’s neck. “Your scar – it looks like he tore out half of your
neck. You must have been a very strong human.”
Carlisle stared at Charles as his hand unconsciously
moved to the network of slightly raised lines where his wound
had healed many, many years before. He had absently traced the
lines on his neck with his fingers thousands of times while he
was deep in thought. It never occurred to him that others could
see it, and no one had mentioned it, except this vampire.
Carlisle suddenly felt terribly self-conscious and
vulnerable because he was unable to banish his memory of the
attack at that moment, and he pulled his collar tighter. Carlisle
never looked at himself in a mirror. He didn’t need to look at
himself to dress, and his hair did not grow and body never
changed so he did not even need a mirror to shave. He didn’t
want to admit it, but he was also afraid to look in a mirror
because he preferred to remember how he looked as a human,
even though he knew that his skin was pale, and Hawthorne had
observed that his eyes changed color depending on length of
time since his last feeding. He knew how humans perceived him,

121
and though he looked slightly unnatural to them, they still saw
him as one of them.
Charles noticed Carlisle’s confusion and pulled up his
sleeves to reveal several brightly shining half-moon bite marks.
Carlisle was surprised at how vivid they were, and now
understood how his scars must appear to other vampires. His
neck must look like a ragged, radiant web of healed venom
wounds.
“You were bitten more than once?” Carlisle said to
Charles.
Charles shook his head. “No, this was my transformation
wound.” He pointed to one wound among dozens. “The rest are
from battle.”
Carlisle lifted his brows as Charles chuckled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle heard his opponent’s approach and turned,

anticipating his strike angle. He moved low, just as his opponent
came down upon him from above. With his center of gravity
closer to the ground, he easily struck at his opponent’s legs and
brought him down, pinning him. Carlisle looked into Charles’s
eyes and he felt a strange thrill in his chest as he realized looking
at Charles’s surprised expression that he had won on the second
try. He instantly released Charles, who stood up quickly. Charles
looked over Carlisle’s fairly impressive six-foot build. “You are

122
not the fastest I have seen, but you have good strength and
incredible anticipation.” His brow creased. “Do you hear
thoughts?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No, I just know a little about
you, and that reveals how you might attack.”
Charles nodded. “Very good; use that instinct. It seems
your natural empathy allows you to size up opponents as well as
friends,” Charles smiled. “Your mild manner betrays you. You
will be even better at avoiding fights, but I would take you into
battle.”
Makenna smirked. “That is a significant compliment,
Carlisle; take it to heart.”
Carlisle never wanted to think of himself as a warrior.
His early exposure to violence had made it completely distasteful
to him. But he had to admit this new world was even more
violent than the mortal world he had left behind. He was not a
fool, and he would not be taken by anyone. “Where are all of
these battles? I have seen nothing of them in my time.” Carlisle
was terribly curious about what they were not telling him.
Makenna and Charles exchanged glances, and then
Makenna spoke. “Carlisle, are we the first vampires you have
encountered?” Carlisle nodded. “How long have you been
alone?”
Carlisle’s mind drifted back through time. “Over fifty
years.”
“War is all vampires know,” Charles looked at him with

123
intensity. “The struggle for power is all they have left. Some of
us participate; some of us try to make our own way and stay
away from them. But if you’ve been living in Europe as long as
you say, they know of you and probably are following your
movements.”
Carlisle’s thoughts instantly drifted to the occasional
feeling of being watched while he was working at the hospitals.
He had assumed it was his own paranoia. He was slightly
horrified to think that someone might have been methodically
following him and had skills to prevent him from discovering
them.
“Part of the reason why you never met any vampires in
Paris is that the primary covens in France were destroyed,”
Charles said softly.
Carlisle’s brows came together again. “Destroyed? By
whom?”
“The Volturi.” Makenna’s eyes were suddenly
bottomless pools of memory. They had seen unspeakable horrors
and amazing displays of power. For the first time Carlisle could
see her age by looking into her eyes. “The Volturi are the ruling
coven. They maintain order.” Carlisle could immediately discern
that the rule of the Volturi was distasteful to her but that she
respected them. “The Parisians amassed some… indiscretions.
They were a bit too free with their lust and their venom. They
danced on the edge of giving up the secret, and the Volturi
decided to discipline them.”

124
 Carlisle shook his head. “How many were killed?”
Charles shrugged. “Dozens.”
“People?” Carlisle gasped.
“Vampires,” Charles corrected. “They were not all in
one coven, which are rarely larger than two or three. It was the
entire city and most of the northern countryside of France.
Though they did not live together, they generally were all
created by each other and behaved similarly. But even those who
were more conservative did not escape.” Charles clearly had lost
someone, and the pain on Makenna’s face said that she felt a
similar sadness.
“But in Paris I saw humans that had been killed by
vampires,” Carlisle insisted. “I examined their bodies.”
Charles shook his head. “Feral animals. If the Volturi
find them, they are destroyed as well. I’m sure they tried to find
them all, but they hide so deep you cannot see them. They are
the worst danger in revealing the secret. The secret must be
kept.”
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed. “What is this ‘secret’ you keep
talking about?”
Makenna’s strong voice responded. “It is the highest
law, higher than the Volturi. We all respect it even if we do not
respect them. The humans must not have proof that we exist. We
are of the night and we stay in the dark.”
Carlisle understood the importance of the law. His entire
vampire existence had become centered around careful guarding

125
of his secret, except with Hawthorne, Alain, and Pierre. He knew
he had come too close to revealing his secret and that had caused
the change in his lifestyle. Suddenly Carlisle realized how truly
reckless he had been; and, if that was why he was being
followed. “How long have the Volturi been enforcing the law?”
Makenna shrugged. “I was created eighty years ago, and
my creator was over 200 years old. We have heard that it was
over 1,200 years ago that the Volturi overthrew the Germanic
covens. The Germanic vampires have tried several times to
reclaim their domain, and they even succeeded in killing one of
the Volturi wives. But the authority of Volterra remains
unchallenged.”
Carlisle was now intrigued. “How long were the
Germanic covens in control?”
Charles shook his head. “Only those ancient covens have
memories that goes back that far. Vampires as a rule do not live
very far past two hundred – even less if they are routinely in
battle. Life is violent, hard, and short, much as the humans. The
best hope is to live as you have, and as we do; alone and
wandering.”
Carlisle felt somewhat disturbed by their austere
perspective. He had really begun to feel a measure of peace in
the past couple of decades as he worked to help small
communities. He did have dark moments of loneliness, but the
companionship he found in his human acquaintances did fill the
void for brief moments in time. Carlisle wondered for the first

126
time if he might find another like himself. A tiny ember of hope
lit in his mind as he thought of finding a vampire who did not
feed on humans so that he would be able to travel with someone,
like Makenna and Charles did. “How many vampires are there?”
Makenna responded, “I have never seen so few. But
human populations are still relatively low. Some areas only
support two or three covens. My sire told me that after the Black
Death, there are still areas where there are no humans for
hundreds of miles. Some of us have had to feed on animals just
to make it from one town to the next.”
Carlisle smiled slightly at this statement, wondering if
the act of desperation had led to some keeping the lifestyle, and
his ember of hope burned brighter. Charles chuckled when he
saw Carlisle smile. “Again, we mean no offense, but I must say
that I do not understand how you can prefer animal blood to
humans.”
Carlisle looked at Charles. “I’ve never tasted the blood
of a human.”
Charles now looked intently at Carlisle. “You tell the
truth.” He shook his head. “How is that possible? When you
were new, you never fed on humans?”
Carlisle shook his head. “I tried to destroy myself to stop
myself from feeding on humans.”
Charles stared at him again. “Again, you tell the truth.”
Carlisle’s brows furrowed. “How do you know that?”
Charles frowned. “Some of us carry with us abilities

127
from our human lives. Our gifts are often amplified when we are
changed. When I was a child I knew instantly when anyone was
lying to me. I knew the vampire I met was lying to me when he
said he was there to welcome my family to the village we had
settled in.” Carlisle set his jaw, thinking of his own attack.
Charles looked at Carlisle with wide eyes. “You must have
carried with you an intense empathy for human life when you
were transformed, or some kind of self-control bordering on self-
sacrifice that few have even as humans.”
Carlisle immediately thought of Arthur, and was pulled
back to a long-buried memory. Arthur was driving Carlisle home
the morning after the Reverend beat him for saving the mentally
disturbed child from being imprisoned for being possessed.
Every bump in the cobbled road jostled his broken ribs, and
Carlisle could not prevent himself from gasping from the pain.
“Carlisle, your compassion for the innocent borders on
self-sacrifice,” Arthur had said through gritted teeth.
“Compassion is what separates us from the darkness.
Sacrifice may be what God calls us to give. I will give whatever
He asks for.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks after their initial meeting Carlisle walked

alone through the barley fields once owned by the farmer killed
by the vampires. The town had discovered the family was

128
missing only three days after their deaths, and they questioned
Carlisle about them. He told the villagers about saving the
daughter but claimed he had not seen or heard of them since.
Charles and Makenna sat upstairs in his bedroom silently as he
handled the situation.
Their three-way conversation had continued night and
day for the entire two weeks. Carlisle had learned more in that
time than he had ever dreamed he might. Makenna even taught
him some basics of vampire healing. In her traumatic past she
had learned from others and had healed many vampires after a
local territory dispute. The Volturi arrived when the dispute did
not end and the vampires she had healed were all killed. Carlisle
discussed with her what was strong enough to penetrate the skin
of vampires, the effects of their venom on other vampires, killing
with fire, and the effects of dismemberment and reassembling
limbs. He took two books of notes.
In the end, Charles finally had to admit to Carlisle that
his thirst was reaching a point where he feared to stay any longer
in Carlisle’s village, lest he feed again on one of Carlisle’s
neighbors. Carlisle was gratified that Charles and Makenna
respected him enough to leave when they had to. They did not,
however, invite him to join them. Carlisle knew that he would
not have wanted to keep company with vampires who regularly
fed on humans, but as they moved on he could not help but feel
dismayed. He wandered slowly through the barley fields under a
carpet of stars. He began to wonder if most of vampire existence

129
was one of detached rootless drifting and loneliness. He wanted
to know if anyone had found a better way.
They had parted amicably, but not exactly as friends.
Charles seemed to feel confident in his read on Carlisle’s
sincerity, but Makenna had made a comment about how
Carlisle’s inquisitiveness and odd lifestyle reminded her of the
Volturi. Carlisle was concerned about their stories about the
Volturi and about Charles’s parting warning.
“Carlisle, you lived in Paris. Be certain that even if you
are not being watched right now, they will be coming for you
eventually. You are a unique vampire. You have a strange power
that I cannot fully understand. It seems to emanate from you…”
Charles stared at Carlisle for a moment before he continued.
“Don’t let Aro get his hands on you. And be aware that very few
of the vampires he has collected have ever left him and lived
very long. Be careful.”
Carlisle was passing a dead tree, and in an instant he
circled the tree faster than human sight and sank his teeth into
the bark, and then pulverized the weak wood with a sweeping
strike from his fist. When he landed on the ground he inspected
what he had done. The tree was splintered into thousands of
pieces. Carlisle looked down at his hands and wiped off the dust
from the tree. He practiced over and over through the following
months. He was thoroughly distressed to find out what an
effective fighter he was. But he knew that if he was to survive,
he had to be prepared for his first contact with the Volturi.

130
 CHAPTER 8
~~1751~~

Carlisle’s frigid fingers flowed over the strings of the

violin as if they were a warm current of water. The melody he
played was slow, in a minor key, and expressed a depth of
sadness inside him that he did not often touch. The music floated
to the highest rafters of the small stone church lit by candlelight.
The second movement was more proactive and commanding, but
the final movement returned to an uneasy contemplation of the
future. Carlisle’s brow was creased as he drew out the final note
with his bow. The candles flickered as a breeze flowed through
the church, causing the light to dance off the colored stained-
glass windows.
The audience of one clapped vigorously as he walked
toward Carlisle. “You really ought to go into Vienna, Mister
Cullen. The masters need to hear you play, and you need their
instruction. You can surely pay for your learning…”
“Father Auer, my constitution keeps me indoors; the
masters work only sunup to sundown.” Carlisle responded as he

131
cleaned his instrument.
Father Auer smiled warmly. “Mister Cullen, if you
would agree to it I will speak with Herr Koller; he was a luthier
in Vienna until a few years ago, and he shares your passion for
music. You have been a strong benefactor of our little church
since your arrival. It is the least I can do, for I can feel your
desire to be closer to God through your music.”
Carlisle frowned. Father Auer had always been far too
kind to him. Carlisle had arrived in Austria nearly ten years
before, traveling as he always did from village to village. One
night as he was driving though one of the villages in the outlying
fields around the walls of Vienna, he had stopped a band of
thieves from stealing the iconography from Father Auer’s
church. He had tended the priest’s minor wounds, but when he
tried to leave, the Father would not hear of it. Carlisle had rich
clothing and expensive possessions like trunks of books and
scientific instruments. The Father could see that he was a
potential patron that he should not let slip away.
Father Auer insisted upon seeing Carlisle at the evening
mass when Carlisle protested that he had a skin condition that
kept him indoors and out of the sun. And despite Carlisle’s shy
and withdrawn nature, the Father introduced him to the church
elders and heaped praise upon him to any of his parishioners
who would listen. When he stopped by Carlisle’s new residence
and happened to hear him playing, he encouraged him to play his
violin during the services. Carlisle had drawn the line at the idea

132
of putting himself on public display, but he had agreed to play
for the Father in private.
Carlisle had picked up the violin after helping a man
who had reminded him intensely of Hawthorne. He was an older
man who had fallen on hard times due to his drinking. But he
owned a treasured violin and would not explain where it had
come from. Seeing Carlisle’s interest he expertly instructed him,
and within two years Carlisle was composing his own music.
When Carlisle decided it was time to leave that community
several years later, the old man had given him the violin.
Carlisle had actually studied music since then in
Germany as well as Salzburg. He had to admit that learning the
instrument had opened up his emotions more than he had
expected and that it both intrigued him and frightened him. But
his nearly 100 years of life had taught him not to shy completely
away from things that frightened him. Carlisle finally looked
back at Father Auer and nodded.
Father Auer smiled, “Wonderful! I will introduce you to
Herr Koller tomorrow. He had a student who left for Nürnberg,
and I think he needs a new student.” He grinned. Then he sighed,
“I’m afraid I must dedicate the remainder of my evening to
tomorrow’s morning service, but you are welcome to practice in
the sanctuary for as long as you wish.”
Carlisle picked up his case. “I’ll leave you to your
thoughts, Father.”
Father Auer regarded Carlisle’s expression and saw that

133
the sadness in his music had lingered beyond the end of the
performance. “What melancholy could haunt so young a man?”
Carlisle appraised the Father, and for the first time saw
no hint of a self-serving agenda. He appeared to be genuinely
concerned for Carlisle’s spiritual health. Carlisle had avoided
engaging the Father on spiritual topics for months, and though he
knew this conversation was inevitable, he still was not ready.
“Father, I appreciate your pastoral concern, but I would
like to wait until another time to discuss my spiritual crisis.”
Carlisle spoke quietly and looked sincerely at the priest.
Father Auer nodded, though he looked intrigued.
“Another time then. Good evening, Mister Cullen.”
“Good evening, Father.” Carlisle collected his hat and
cloak and walked out of the modest country church with his
violin case tucked under his arm.
After the sermon the following evening Father Auer
walked over to him and brought with him a stern-looking older
gentleman. “Mister Cullen, this is Herr Koller. I have told him of
your gifts, and he has agreed to hear you play.”
Carlisle nodded to Koller “I thank you for your
generosity, sir. I’m afraid I have a condition that dictates that I
can go out only in the evenings. Will that inconvenience you?”
Herr Koller was over six inches shorter than Carlisle and
lifted his chin to speak to him. “Not if you can play by
candlelight.” Herr Koller was a little rough around the edges but
not exactly impolite. Carlisle sensed that it was a defense

134
mechanism, not his real nature, and nodded amiably.
Two evenings later, Carlisle arrived at the home of Herr
Koller. When Koller opened the front door and saw that Carlisle
nearly filled the doorframe he cleared his throat and stepped
aside. “Please come in, young man.”
Carlisle walked in and deposited his hat and cloak in the
modest foyer. The house was small, but Carlisle noted that there
were some fine fabrics on the chair cushions and elaborate
carving on one of the tables. When they walked into the small
parlor there were instruments everywhere: every string
instrument, a harpsichord, and several wind instruments as well.
Carlisle now began to wonder about Koller because the house
appeared to imply that the furnishings had come from another
residence. Carlisle put these thoughts aside, knowing too well
that people who asked too many questions were often trouble.
Koller sat down in a cushioned chair by the fire and
settled himself. Then he looked up at Carlisle expectantly.
Carlisle had not been invited to sit, so he stood still waiting to be
instructed. Koller sighed. “Go on, then; let me hear you.”
Carlisle quickly laid his case on a nearby chaise and
opened it so he could retrieve his violin. After a few quick
adjustments, he set the bow to the strings. He played the same
piece he had performed for Father Auer. After the first
movement, Carlisle could hear that the three other humans in the
house whom he surmised to be servants had all stopped their
activities and were sitting still and listening. By the end of the

135
second movement they had all moved to the top of the stairs, and
by the end of the third movement one of them, a female, was
weeping softly. Carlisle had become so preoccupied with the
other humans in the house he almost forgot he was performing
for Koller.
Koller sat in his chair frowning and smoothing his thin
gray hair as Carlisle stood very still before him with the violin
once again tucked under his arm. Then both men heard an
audible sniff from the top of the stairs. Carlisle’s eye shifted
slightly, but Koller looked up and then cleared his throat again.
“Mister Cullen, for it is mister not Herr, is it not?” Carlisle
bowed slightly, ignoring the disapproval in Koller’s voice. “You
are too old to begin training for a career in music; you are too
wealthy to be seeking another income; you are not talented
enough to be seeking a position as a master. May I ask what you
seek from me?”
Carlisle smiled slightly at this. “Herr Koller, I am twenty
and I am seeking only to learn more appreciation of music.”
Koller lifted a brow. “So, you have not come here to
seek an audience with my daughter?”
Carlisle’s eyes widened, “No, sir! Absolutely not!”
Carlisle now understood who was crying at the top of the steps.
And then he realized what had happened. “Father Auer…” He
sighed.
Slowly a slight smile spread across Herr Koller’s face.
Then he started to chuckle. Then seeing how uncomfortable

136
Carlisle was he began to laugh out loud. “Oh, my boy, we have
both been tricked.” He laughed even louder. Carlisle shifted
uneasily, but managed a nervous chuckle. Koller stood up and
clapped Carlisle on the shoulder. “Come back tomorrow
evening, Mister Cullen. We will begin with Mozart.”
They played together, often for hours, Koller had great
prowess with the viola, violin cello, and the violin. They played
duets and filled the fields surrounding the village with music.
Father Auer conveniently avoided speaking directly to
either of them for over a week, no doubt to avoid any reprimand,
and merely smiled a little smugly at each of them. Carlisle
surmised that he had seen both men in pain and in need of
friendship. And the fact that Carlisle was a young man and that
Herr Koller had a daughter of marrying age no doubt appeared to
Father Auer to be an additional benefit. Carlisle wondered how
Father Auer found time to write his homilies between all of his
benevolent scheming.
The news of the new friendship quickly spread and
Carlisle found himself at the center of more gossip than he
wished. This tiny community situated just outside the wall of
Vienna was isolated enough that he was not terribly concerned.
The villagers had taken to calling him “the albino physic,” and
he was comfortable enough with that title. They assumed that he
occupied his time with science and experiments because of what
Father Auer had told them of his books and equipment. He really
only practiced medicine when someone brought a problem to

137
him because there were two other healers in the area. But with
the discovery of Carlisle’s musical prowess, they now began to
wonder how so cultured a man had chosen to live among them.
One evening Koller poured them both a glass of wine
and glanced out the window. “Hmm, it seems that more young
women are taking their evening strolls by my home to hear you
play.”
Carlisle sighed, “Father Auer seems to be undeterred.”
Koller chuckled and sipped his wine as he handed a
glass to Carlisle. “You are an unmarried man of means. Do you
not wish to settle down? Have a family?”
Carlisle looked up at Koller. He had not expected such
direct questions. “I have means, but no home, and no other
family. That is not much to offer to a marriage.”
Koller gave Carlisle a knowing smile. “And what of
love?”
Carlisle frowned. “I… have never known real love.”
Koller’s brows lifted. “Never been in love? Or never
been loved?”
Carlisle looked over at Koller and put down his
untouched wine. “My mother died when I was born, and my
father hated me. I had a teacher who loved me like a father, but
mostly he loved the idea of his perfect pupil.” Carlisle looked
down at Hawthorne’s ring on his finger. “I have never felt
unconditional love.”
Koller looked at Carlisle with compassion. “You hold

138
people at a distance, Carlisle. You cannot get close to anyone if
you always live like that.” Carlisle looked up at Koller and
smiled, but did not respond. “Father Auer saw in both of us men
who have been damaged: you by your family and me… by my
student.”
Carlisle nodded. “What happened with your student?”
Koller took another drink and sighed. “He was my best
friend’s son, and he was like my son. I taught him everything I
knew about crafting the finest instruments; I taught him formally
from the age of twelve. He was there when my daughter was
born and when my wife died a few years later.” Carlisle stood
still listening intently as Koller’s eyes were filled with memory
and hurt.
“Over the years he became more overbearing and
eventually he began to ask for a share in my business. I was
saving for my daughter’s dowry, and I had no idea she was
already love with him. They began a secret romance even though
she was only twelve and he was twenty-four. Finally, he
demanded an equal partnership and revealed their romance,
threatening to elope with her if I refused. I had to protect her,
and I knew then that he was not an honorable man. He left, and
he denounced their engagement.” Koller’s baritone voice became
tight. “My daughter fell into a deep melancholy, and she required
constant supervision for six months to prevent her from harming
herself. She was nearly catatonic when we moved out of the
city.” Then he looked back at Carlisle. “When you played for me

139
the other evening, it was the first time she had cried in almost
two years.”
Carlisle blinked. He had been listening so intently he had
forgotten some of his human affectations. He knew that Koller’s
daughter was sitting in her rooms upstairs listening to them play
earlier, and she had not moved. He could not tell if she knew that
her father was relating her sad story.
Koller looked into his glass. “I am grateful that we are
friends, Mister Cullen. I believe that our music has brought some
life back into my home.”
Carlisle felt a slight smile at the corners of his mouth. “I
have been lost for a long time. I think being here has brought me
to a better place in my life as well.”
Koller smiled. “What are your plans for Christmas,
young man?”
Carlisle shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it, sir.”
Koller laughed. “Would you consider escorting me and
my daughter to the Christmas Eve ball?”
Carlisle was completely speechless, and his jaw hung
slightly open as Koller smiled at him. “Of… of course, sir; it
would be an honor.”
Carlisle left the Koller home soon after that and went
directly to the church and pounded on the parsonage door.
Father Auer opened the door holding his reading candle
and was instantly alarmed. He had never seen Carlisle even the
slightest bit disturbed. “What is it Mister Cullen? What’s

140
happened?”
“Koller has asked me to escort him and his daughter to
the Christmas ball!” Carlisle whispered harshly.
Father’s face was frozen in shock for several seconds,
and then his mouth turned up and he began to chuckle. Carlisle
was completely dumbstruck, and all he could do was shake his
head, waiting for the appropriate awe and fear to take hold.
“Mister Cullen, what is the problem? Is this not what
you wanted?” Father Auer said reached out to him but Carlisle
moved out of his reach and stared at Father Auer.
The answer in Carlisle’s mind was, NO! But he could
not deny there was a tension in his throat, and his cold heart was
saying, YES! Carlisle’s friendships had always been complicated,
and most of his friends were work-related. He had never thought
about becoming part of a family. He now knew that was what
Herr Koller intended. Carlisle had no idea how he would react to
Koller’s daughter, but this was clearly the way a parent chose
prospective partners for their children. That prospect however,
brought Carlisle to his impasse.
Carlisle looked directly into Father Auer’s face, and with
as much vehemence as he could conjure he said desperately, “I
am not a full man! I cannot be Fräulein Koller’s husband!”
Father Auer was again astonished by the passion in
Carlisle’s face and voice. “Mister Cullen, you are a man made in
the image of God just like any…”
“GOD DOES NOT KNOW ME! I AM NOT OF GOD’S

141
CREATION! I AM DAMNED TO A LIFE OF THE NIGHT!! I
AM DAMNED!!” Carlisle’s throat closed up, and his breath
hitched in what sounded like a sob. Carlisle turned away so
Father Auer would not see that he had no tears.
Father Auer was silent behind him for several seconds
while Carlisle regained control. Then Carlisle felt a hand on his
shoulder. “Please, son, come inside and let us talk. I think it is
time for you to lay your burden before God. He knows you, no
matter how far into the darkness you may think you have fallen.”
Carlisle looked to the ground and then turned and
allowed Father Auer’s hand to guide him inside the warm
parsonage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle arrived at Christmas Eve mass and sat in his

usual isolated front-row seat among the gentry. Koller arrived
after him and sat in one of the few open seats on the opposite
side of the altar. The services were particularly full at this time
of year, and spirits were high because after mass everyone would
dress for the dinner and ball.
Carlisle listened to the Father’s homily and heard him
discuss many of the points they had debated in their recent
discussions. He was talking about Jacob at the River Jabbok.
Carlisle had tried to convince the priest that he was a damned
creature, that every instinct he had was to do evil, and that anger

142
consumed him when he did not consciously control it. Father
Auer had responded quietly, “I do not know what dark past you
are fighting, but all of us are fallen creatures. We are made in
God’s image, but we are separate from God until we accept our
salvation.”
Carlisle shook his head, “But how can one created by
evil accept salvation from God?”
Father Auer gave Carlisle a hard look. “You actually
believe you were created by the Devil?”
Carlisle met Father Auer’s eyes, “If you knew where I
came from, you would understand.”
Father Auer regarded him closely. Carlisle would never
know the depth of pain the priest saw in his eyes. Father Auer
also could see more age than he perceived possible. But he still
only saw Carlisle as the generous man who he had always
admired, but now he was also a lost soul like everyone else, and
he was glad he could finally give something back to Carlisle. “I
will pray about these matters, my son. But know this: I have
never seen a man walk so closely with God yet claim that he is
from hell.”
Carlisle’s mind returned to the present and he listened
vaguely to the homily and wondered if he was like Jacob. Was
he thinking he was wrestling the devil but was actually wrestling
with God? Was he wrestling with God unnecessarily?
Then Father Auer raised his voice, “A man once said to
me that he was afraid that because his instincts were to do the

143
opposite of God’s commands, he feared he was a servant of the
Devil. But I had never met a more compassionate, disciplined,
and strong-willed man. Servants of the Devil have no will, no
resistance, and no compassion.” There were nods of agreement.
“He thought he must have been created by the Devil!” There
were some gasps in the audience, and Carlisle had to work to
keep his face completely devoid of emotion. “But I say to you,
all of creation is only made by God. The Devil cannot create life!
The Devil can only trick you; he can never own you.” Carlisle
stared at Father Auer. Father Auer looked toward him and
smiled. “We can wrestle with God on these points all we wish,
but our souls belong only to God; no other has claim.”
Carlisle looked away from Father Auer’s kind eyes, and
tried to compose himself. He had not come close to the kind of
emotion he was experiencing in decades. It had been nearly
eighty years since his transformation. He had never doubted the
existence of God, but he had not sat in a sanctuary of God and
considered that he might actually belong there for just as long.
For the first time since he was changed he was certain that God
was speaking to him.
Carlisle put his hands together and looked up at the
crucifix above the altar. He thought of the large cross hidden
under his bed in his rented house, the one that still carried the
stains of his own blood. “‘I am not worthy of the least of all
these mercies, and of all the truth which thou hast shewed unto
thy servant…’”

144
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That evening Carlisle stood still as a statue in the corner

observing the scene and trying to be invisible. As a six-foot tall,
blonde-haired, amber-eyed vampire who smells as attractive as
he looks he did not succeed in avoiding attention. The ladies
were done up in their Christmas finest, and they whispered
constantly about him. Then Carlisle saw from the corner of his
eye Koller’s carriage arriving. He quickly crossed the room and
moved outside to greet his friend. Koller exited the carriage and
smiled at Carlisle; then he extended a hand to someone else
inside. A tiny, gloved hand took Koller’s, and then a young
woman of no more than seventeen or eighteen stepped out of the
carriage onto the gravel of the driveway. She wore an ice-blue
dress that matched the blue in her eyes and had long ringlets of
chocolate brown hair. Carlisle knew immediately from her smell
that she was the one who had cried the first time she heard him
play.
They approached Carlisle, and he bowed to Koller first.
“Mister Cullen, may I present my daughter, Fräulein Koller.”
Carlisle bowed to her. “Good evening; it is a pleasure to
make your acquaintance, Fräulein.”
“The pleasure is mine, Mister Cullen.” She tripped
slightly over the word “mister” but pronounced his name
perfectly.

145
 Carlisle was immediately uncomfortable around her
because her beauty overwhelmed him, and he could not escape
how intently she was looking at him.
Koller chuckled again at the obvious connection between
the two young people. “Mister Cullen, please escort us inside, I
think we should find some refreshment.”
Carlisle had to tear his eyes away from Koller’s daughter
and bowed. “Please, sir, this way.” Koller kept his daughter on
his arm, and Carlisle walked on the other side.
Father Auer watched with satisfaction as midway
through the evening Carlisle took Fräulein Koller’s gloved hand
in his and they had their first dance. In fact, the priest was not the
only one to notice. By morning, the entire village was talking
about it.
The following week Koller’s daughter began joining
Carlisle and her father in the parlor when they played in the
evenings. Carlisle spent the New Year with the family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In late February Carlisle was driving through the harsh

cold to bring Koller and his daughter some firewood, when his
head turned toward a scent that he had not detected in twenty
years but knew instantly. He stopped the carriage and jumped
out, dropping immediately into a defensive crouch. He could not
smell any humans nearby that were in danger. He turned his head

146
again and knew the stranger was headed away from him and
probably had not caught his scent. Carlisle vaulted into his
carriage and whipped his horse.
Carlisle arrived at the Koller home in a state of near
panic as he rushed inside the kitchen door and deposited the
wood. Koller’s daughter came in to greet him, but when she saw
his face she reached out to him and grasped his arm.
“Mister Cullen, what is wrong?” Her large blue eyes
were wide with worry.
Carlisle gently brushed his gloved hand along her
jawline. She looked up at him and closed her eyes as he caressed
her face. Then he dropped his hand, and she opened her eyes. “I
need to speak with your father immediately.”
She led him into the parlor where Koller was blotting a
sheet of music. “Mister Cullen, back so soon?” He smiled to
himself before he looked up. When he saw the frown on
Carlisle’s face he put down his quill and he turned to his
daughter. “My dear, would you please excuse us?” She curtsied
and then closed the sliding doors to the parlor behind her.
Carlisle stepped closer and whispered quickly. “Have
there ever been any mysterious deaths or disappearances in this
area?”
Koller stood up and walked around his desk.
“Mysterious? How?”
Carlisle shook his head, “Entire families vanished,
unexplained illnesses, bloodletting – especially more than

147
one…” Carlisle’s voice ran out because Koller was nodding.
“Yes. Five years ago, right after we moved to this
village. Six people, an entire family of four and two workers on
the same farm all disappeared one night and were never seen
again.”
Carlisle closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Then he
strode over to the front window of the parlor and threw it open to
the bone-chilling February air. Sheets of music flew around the
room but Koller did not move. Carlisle took in a deep breath, and
then he turned back to the man shivering behind him.
“The entire village is in danger. Whatever was here five
years ago has returned. I must protect the village. Stay indoors
with your daughter. Promise me you will not leave this house
until I return!”
Koller was completely speechless. All he could do was
nod stiffly in agreement. Carlisle closed the window and turned
to rush out. When he slid open the parlor doors, Koller’s
daughter was standing there with tears streaming down her face.
She threw her arms around Carlisle. Carlisle tensed slightly
knowing that she must feel the hardness of his stony skin and the
coldness of his body through his clothes; but she only held him
tighter. She knew that there was something different about him
and she didn’t care. Carlisle hugged her back.
“Please,” she whispered, “please, don’t go.”
Carlisle tilted his head down to her brown curls and
kissed her warm head with his cold lips. “I promise, no harm will

148
come to you or your father, but I must go now.” He pulled her
chin up so her liquid blue eyes looked up at him again. “Take
care of your father. I will return when it is over.”
Carlisle gently removed her arms from around his chest,
and handed her to her father. Then he walked out the front door.
He took in another deep breath. There was more than
one. They were moving east. Carlisle headed for the pitch-black
fields and ran. His senses placed them at a house just a mile from
his position, and he ran faster. He heard screams of terror. They
were taunting their victims. Then he heard Father Auer.
“DEMONS BE GONE!!”
Carlisle ran inside the house, knocked one of the
vampires across the room and into the wall, and grabbed the
second one by the hair and pulled him down. The first vampire
regained his footing and whipped around so that his claw-like
nails raked down Carlisle’s arm, tearing through his jacket into
his stony flesh and leaving long, deep gouges. Carlisle roared in
pain and flipped the second vampire around in a blur to knock
down the first one again. Then he locked the second vampire into
an iron hold. It had all happened so quickly a human could
barely understand what occurred.
Carlisle held the second vampire while the first one
regained his stance. “Stand down, or I will rip his head off,”
Carlisle growled.
“This is NOT your territory!!” the first vampire snarled.
“On the contrary, this village is defended by me. You

149
would do well to leave and to warn any others who pass through
here that they will meet with destruction if a single villager is
harmed.” Carlisle tightened his grip on the second vampire so
that there was a quiet crack from somewhere on the vampire’s
body as its integrity was challenged by Carlisle’s strength.
“Let’s GO!” the second vampire yelped.
The first vampire growled and then stood up. Carlisle
waited and then let the second vampire go. “LEAVE!” he
commanded. The vampires gave him one more look and then
disappeared out into the night. Carlisle listened and was satisfied
they had left the area.
Carlisle then turned to see the extent of the damage.
There were three living witnesses. The elderly matriarch whom
Father Auer had come to visit had been killed. Carlisle cursed
himself for the loss of that one life. The mother and daughter
were cowering in a corner, covering their eyes and weeping.
Father Auer was standing over them and staring in astonishment
at Carlisle.
“They are gone,” Carlisle said with authority. “Did they
see anything?” Carlisle pointed toward the two women.
“No, no, they saw nothing.” Father Auer said honestly.
There was a tea service that had crashed to the ground when the
women had walked in with Father Auer and found the vampires
waiting for them. “They have not lifted their heads since we
found the intruders.” His eyes slipped to the long, bloodless
gouges in Carlisle’s upper arm, and he pointed. “You are hurt.”

150
 Carlisle quickly wrapped his neck scarf around the
injury and interrupted him. “I need one final promise from you,
Father,” Carlisle said with a tone so ominous the priest recoiled
slightly. “You must never reveal what really happened here.”
“Mister Cullen…” Father Auer whispered, but Carlisle’s
eyes told him that there was nothing he could say to prevent this
parting. He sighed, and took one long look at Carlisle, and shook
his head. “Even as you fought them I saw no resemblance
between you and them.”
“Father, you have done more for me than you will ever
know,” Carlisle smiled.
Father Auer smiled back. “Mister Cullen, you will be
remembered as a savior of this village.”
Carlisle shook his head. “It would be better if…”
“I will keep the secret. Go in peace, my son,” Father
Auer smiled again.
Carlisle nodded and ran out the door. For the first time
he put his escape plan into action. He had always managed to
leave before he outstayed his welcome, but this time was
different. Though he left no concrete evidence there were too
many witnesses to the strange events. He would not be able to
withstand all of the questions and still live in peace in the small
community. This way the people who he had been close to could
at least distance themselves from him. After he loaded his
carriage, he drove back to Koller’s house and knocked on the
front door.

151
 “Koller! It’s Mister Cullen!”
Koller came running up to the door, swung it wide open.
Koller’s daughter ran forward and embraced the man she
worshipped.
“You are safe. The village is safe.” Carlisle said with his
nose in her brown hair.
“But you are still leaving,” she whispered through tears.
“I must. Others may need my protection,” he said with
pain in his voice.
She lifted her head, and then she reached up and put both
of her bare hands on his marble cheeks and pulled his cold
forehead down to rest against hers. She never flinched from the
icy chill on his hard skin and she closed her eyes. “You are
meant for more than to stay here and protect one village.” Then
she pulled back slightly but kept her hands on his face, as she
smoothed the creases in his granite brow and smiled. “Thank
you.”
Koller then cleared his throat and sniffed slightly. He
was clearly not comfortable with saying good-bye. “Thank you,
for everything.” He put his hand on his daughter’s shoulder, and
she turned to smile at him.
Carlisle stepped back from them and reached outside the
front door to retrieve what he brought with him. He handed
Koller his violin, but Koller refused.
“Think of us, every time you play,” Koller said with a
slight quaver in his voice.

152
 Carlisle nodded and then looked at both of them one last
time. “Farewell.”

153
154
 CHAPTER 9
~~1770~~

Carlisle walked across the stone courtyard of the Palazzo

del Commendatore in Rome as the heat from the day rose up
from the stones and evening spread across the sky. Pigeons flew
overhead and cooed from the rooftops and the sounds of the
street just outside the main entrance to the palazzo drifted
towards Carlisle as he neared the archway.
Carlisle had been working evenings at the Ospedale di
Santo Spirito for six years, teaching classes to the physicians in
training, and he had moved into a three-room apartment in the
palazzo because the administrator of the hospital and Carlisle
had strong mutual respect. The clock on the portico of the
palazzo struck seven in the evening as he neared the front door
of the chapel that split the braccio vecchio. He could hear the
turmoil inside the hospital long before he stepped over the
threshold.
For just a few moments, however, he ignored the noise
around him, and he knelt before the altar, looking up at the

155
octagonal chapel dome above him. “Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and do not forget all his benefits – who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the Pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies
you with good as long as you live so that your youth is renewed
like the eagle’s.”
Settling in Rome had been a deliberate choice. Carlisle
had worked with the Knights of Santo Spirito before in more
exotic locations and had heard that the church had been helping
the poor in this hospital for centuries. Almost every pope had
added to its facilities and resources. Additionally, a city that was
so consumed with spirituality fed Carlisle’s growth. He had
never felt so at home.
Finally, Carlisle could no longer ignore what was
happening around him. He lowered his eyes back to earth and
then stood up and walked back toward the two hallways. He
looked to the left down the hall into the west end of the braccio
vecchio and heard some nurses struggling with a trauma patient,
doctors arguing about a diagnosis, and several patients taking
their last breaths. To his right, however, past the east end of the
braccio vecchio, he caught a strong new scent in the braccio
nuovo. If he was right, there could be a serious problem brewing.
Carlisle turned right without any further hesitation.
The closer he got, the more certain he was. There were
all kinds of foul smells that swirled around Carlisle in the narrow
hallways of the hospital, but when he entered the large main

156
ward he knew that at least six patients among the dozens of beds
were ill with a specific and virulent disease. Giuseppe, a young
student of Carlisle’s, ran up to him.
“Doctor Cullen! I just arrived but during the day we got
four more patients.” Guiseppe was tall and thin and Carlisle
could always detect the scent of his girlfriend’s perfume on his
hair and clothes.
Carlisle walked over to the beds and began to examine
the patients: two children, a young woman, and a thin, older
man. “From the same area of the city?”
Giuseppe blinked, “I – I don’t know, sir.”
The patients were ranging in severity, all had evidence
of a systemic infection, and one had dark urine. Carlisle turned
back to Giuseppe. “Find out where they live. Compare them with
the two from yesterday evening.” Then he walked out of the
ward and up the grand staircase toward the office of the Knight
of Santo Spirito.
Carlisle went directly into the offices of the
administrator of the hospital. The office, consistently a picture of
controlled chaos, was filled with books and dust. Bright sunlight
pierced the dim room from a circular window on the far wall.
The Giovanni Brambilla sat bent over his desk and barely
glanced at Carlisle when he entered.
“We may have a new crisis of Roman fever,” Carlisle
said urgently.
Brambilla looked over his glasses at Carlisle and his

157
bushy eyebrows lifted. He was only in his fifties but his face had
aged and his hair had grayed while he was head of the hospital.
“You are certain?” he said calmly.
Carlisle nodded. “I have one of the students researching
the place of residence of the six patients I am concerned about,
looking for a common source.”
Brambilla stood up slowly and stretched his knees before
he walked over to his book stacks. He ran a finger over dozens of
books and then finally pulled out one small volume. “This is by a
physician called Ramazzini. You should read it. He recommends
the use of chinchona bark in the treatment of Roman fever.”
Carlisle took the book and looked back to at Brambilla.
“I had not heard of this. Do we have any chinchona bark?”
Brambilla smiled. “The theory is fifty years old, but not
popular. I knew a good friend of Ramazzini. I have kept a store
of chinchona ever since.” He sat back down. “Some of the
apothecaries may also have some stock. Have your students look
into it.” He picked up his quill again and resumed writing.
“Thank you, sir,” Carlisle turned to leave.
“Mister Cullen,” Brambilla called after Carlisle without
looking up, “I will cancel your lecture for this evening. Please
take charge of this affair until you are satisfied that it is
contained.” Brambilla had a naturally serene personality but
Carlisle also knew that he had complete faith that Carlisle would
not rest until the crisis was over.
“Yes, sir,” Carlisle said and walked back out. He spent

158
the entire evening documenting the symptoms and progress of
the six patients to confirm the diagnosis. Giuseppe found more
chinchona bark and they immediately began treatment. Three of
the six unconscious patients were alone, but they interviewed
family members of the other three. All of the families were from
different apartment buildings and obtained water from different
fountains. There appeared to be no connection between the
cases. When Carlisle left the following morning, he instructed
Giuseppe to take more detailed histories on all of the patients
about their recent activities.
The dim morning was overcast and a light fog muted
sight and sound: but as Carlisle walked toward the front archway
of the palazzo his unnaturally sensitive ears heard the soft
mumbling.
“Don’t know why… why am I pulled here? Who can
help me here? I’m in the open… they’ll find me… I can sense
them… they are coming… they are coming…”
Carlisle paused in shock. Not only was the whispering in
English, but the speed of the whispers and the low pitch told him
long before he caught the scent that it was a vampire. The only
others he had heard speak that way were Charles and Makenna.
Carlisle sensed paranoia, but not maleficence. The visitor was
agitated and Carlisle decided he wanted to announce himself
rather than scare him. “My friend, how can I aid you?” Carlisle
whispered quickly in English.
The visitor stopped mumbling to himself, and now

159
Carlisle heard him scrambling to stand up. Carlisle ran as
quickly as he could while still appearing human and stopped just
inside the entrance to the courtyard to catch the visitor. He
hadn’t needed to run. The visitor was unable to move quickly –
he was missing a leg. He was also swaying unsteadily in a way
Carlisle did not imagine was possible for an invulnerable and
immortal vampire.
The visitor’s face screwed up with rage under a curtain
of chin-length, unkempt, dark hair and he pointed accusingly at
Carlisle. “You speak English! ARE YOU ONE OF THEM??
YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM!!”
Carlisle put up his hands. “Friend, I do not know who
you are referring to. Please, let me help you.”
The visitor slowly lowered his finger, and his face
relaxed only a little. “No… you don’t sound like one of them.
But you look like one of them…” Then he swayed again slightly.
Carlisle thought he would catch himself, but then Carlisle saw
that the visitor was missing not only his left leg but also his left
arm. Carlisle moved swiftly to catch him before he fell.
Then Carlisle started to carry him toward his apartment
but the visitor was waving his remaining arm toward the ground.
“The blanket! The blanket!”
Carlisle reached down to grab the dirty pile of rags
which the visitor seemed to treasure and found within it the
dismembered arm and leg. Carlisle sighed with relief. “Well, my
friend, I don’t know what ability rules your senses, but now at

160
least I understand why you were drawn to me.” He looked
directly into the visitor’s eyes. “I can help you; I just need you to
trust me.”
The visitor’s brow creased as he looked back at
Carlisle’s angelic face. “Trust?”
Carlisle could not help but smile, so he turned and
picked up the arm and leg wrapped in the blanket and then
carried his visitor inside the entrance of his section of the
palazzo.
The wide stairs wound upward to the apartment level
with a scrolled iron handrail. Carlisle hurried up to the main
hallway, his light steps barely audible on the pink marble tiles. A
row of windows on the left let in what little illumination was
available that foggy morning, and on the right were the
apartments. At the end of the hall Carlisle deftly swung open his
door.
His apartment was relatively luxurious, consisting of
three rooms: the main parlor, a kitchen hearth and bathing room
to the left of the front door, and a bedroom to the right. Each
room had large windows that faced the street, but because
Carlisle had a corner apartment the bedroom also had a private
balcony that faced a narrow alley and had a lofty view of the
city.
Carlisle deposited his visitor on a silk couch in the parlor
and went to his locked cabinet to retrieve his fifty-year-old notes
on vampire healing from Makenna. First, he had to completely

161
remove any concentrated vampire venom around the dozens of
bites he found on his visitor. Vampires can survive dozens of
bites at once, but the venom in addition to the injury would cause
healing to take even longer. Carlisle used his billows to create
suction in a glass bell he placed over the wounds. It wasn’t as
easy as it seemed in principle. The bites were partially healed
already. The process was more excruciating for his patient than
he had predicted and Carlisle had to hold a pillow over his face
to help muffle the screaming.
When Carlisle finished he had only two hours before
dusk and his evening shift. He quickly retrieved some fresh
animal blood and kept in water chilled by saltpetre. Since he had
learned of the technique of mixing citrus juice with blood to
preserve it, he had been able to bring back a glass jar full for
emergencies. He fed his visitor some blood to feed his overtaxed
system. The vampire was in a barely conscious state and
protested the taste of animal blood but accepted the nourishment.
Carlisle looked down at his patient as his face relaxed
again. He was physically probably the oldest vampire Carlisle
had ever met. He had to have been in his mid-forties when he
was transformed, yet Carlisle could see the same magnetic
attractiveness that the change brought to every vampire. He was
not overtly beautiful but he had a square jaw and long lashes,
and when his narrow eyes were open their dark depths were
captivating and haunted.
Carlisle decided that his visitor had taken enough

162
abusive treatment for one evening and leaned over him. “I have
to go to the hospital for about ten hours. Rest and recover, and I
will reattach the limbs when I return.”
The vampire opened his eyes, nodded, and then closed
them again.
When Carlisle arrived at the hospital his sense of smell
told him immediately that there was now an epidemic
developing. He had to stop it. He rushed into the wards and
found the doctors frantically running around and the nurses
practically sprinting.
Carlisle strapped on his apron and stepped up to
Giuseppe. “What happened?”
“You were right; our first patients are recovering, but
now we have thirty more!”
“All of them at once?”
Giuseppe nodded. “The devil himself is behind this.”
Carlisle stared at his student for a moment. Then in a
moment of irrational fear he turned his head and scanned the
area just to be certain there were no other vampires nearby.
Carlisle frowned at himself. There was obviously no way a
vampire could be responsible for an outbreak of Roman fever,
but he realized he was feeling uneasy about his visitor. He shook
his head and put away that thought.
Carlisle worked all night and ended up staying all day.
The intake was so busy they never sat down. Through
questioning the patients Carlisle and Giuseppe still could find no

163
common connection between the patients. They were from
different areas of the city, they used different waters for their
washing and drinking, and they even shopped in different
markets.
“It appears we have a mystery on our hands,” Brambilla
said calmly as he walked stiffly toward Carlisle with his hands
clasped behind his back.
“Sir, we can find no evidence of a connection,” Carlisle
threw down his notes.
“And yet, we have an epidemic,” Brambilla shrugged.
“No family connection, no residence connection, no diet
connection, no water connection, no market connection, no
church connection. What else is there?” Carlisle threw up his
hands.
Brambilla mused quietly for a moment. “What about
joy?”
“Joy?” Carlisle lifted a brow.
Brambilla looked down at Carlisle and smiled.
“Entertainment, leisure. Everyone must find a way to relax.”
Carlisle bolted upward. “The minstrels.” He ran to the
end of the row and knelt next to the first of two minstrels who
had come in the previous evening. “Where do you perform?
Where do you set up every evening?”
The man was shaking with fever but whispered,
“Pi…Piazza Navona…”
Carlisle immediately stood up again and went to a young

164
woman who was conscious two beds down. “Where do you go to
watch the performers in the evening?”
“Piazza Navona,” she said quietly. Carlisle asked three
others; their answer was the same. Carlisle ran to throw on his
coat. He had just over an hour to sunrise.
“I will go with you.” Giuseppe began to take off his
apron.
“No, Giuseppe, it may be dangerous.” Carlisle put up a
hand.
Giuseppe ignored his teacher’s concern. “I will see this
through.”
Carlisle could see the light of adventure in his student’s
eyes and relented.
They took a carriage past Sant’ Agnese in Agone and
then walked. They spoke with everyone they passed. They
looked everywhere for standing water – barrels, broken
fountains, old rainwater – and found nothing. They sat on the
Fontana del Nettuno and Carlisle worried that he was going to
run out of time. He stared at the gods fighting the serpents of the
sea and the horses frozen in time in the rippling water, and then
he saw a single mosquito flying toward him. It landed on him,
but of course Carlisle had no blood to tempt it. He smashed it
before it could fly over to Giuseppe. He stared at the dead insect.
One I cannot track far, but this is an outbreak; there must be
thousands nearby. He listened harder, and immediately he heard
it: a swarm.

165
 Carlisle got up and ran across the piazza toward the
sound, scattering pigeons in his wake, with Giuseppe right
behind him. The sound led him to the Palazzo Pamphilj, and
outside the kitchens was a trough used for washing, covered with
mosquitoes. Carlisle cast a tightly woven net over it to prevent
any more from escaping, and Giuseppe tossed lye on the entire
swarm.
Carlisle returned home that morning to find his visitor
completely recovered from the venom fever. “Why would you
leave me with that mud to drink?” he grimaced as he pointed to
the half-empty glass bottle.
“I am Carlisle.” Carlisle did not expect him to answer
just yet but wanted to offer his name first. Carlisle smiled as he
removed his coat and scarf. “That, sir, is what I drink all the
time.”
The visitor sniffed the air. “But you’ve been around
humans. I can smell them all over you, and everything in here
smells like humans too. It’s like you’re around them all the
time.”
Carlisle stopped to look down at the perplexed vampire
and gave him another amiable smile. “I don’t feed on humans; I
heal them.” Then he ignored the stunned expression on his
visitor’s face and proceeded into the kitchen where he opened
the corner stove and started to stoke the fire. “The unfortunate
side effect of removing the venom is that you will be more lucid
for the reattachment,” he called back to his guest.

166
 “What exactly are you planning to do?” the vampire
asked apprehensively.
Carlisle returned to the main parlor. “I have to make the
fire hot enough to join the limbs back onto you but not hot
enough to destroy them. It’s a delicate balance.” The visitor
frowned and turned his head away. “Can you tell me how this
happened?” Carlisle asked. The vampire did not look back at
him and remained silent. Carlisle went back to the fire and
continued to stoke the flames. An hour later, when the fire was
finally hot enough he retrieved the dismembered limbs, which
were twitching slightly, as if they knew what was coming.
“Carlisle,” the vampire called from the couch. Carlisle
put down the leg and went to his patient. “Do we really have to
do this?”
Carlisle looked at him compassionately. “That is your
choice. But you are going to live through the venom fever, and it
will be very hard for you to hunt without your limbs.”
The vampire thought for a few moments and then looked
back at Carlisle. “Harder to run too.” His eyes became more
intense. “They are coming, you know.”
Carlisle’s brows knit. “Who is coming?”
The vampire’s eyes were distant and unfocused. “They
want you: I can feel it.”
Carlisle frowned, “I don’t know who you think I am, but
I am of no value to anyone but my patients.”
The vampire’s eyes shifted back to Carlisle. “You must

167
fix my limbs, but then you must come with me!”
Carlisle looked into the vampire’s frantic eyes. “Friend, I
don’t even know who you are.”
The vampire shook his head. “You don’t want to know
who I am, trust me.”
Carlisle smiled slightly. “I thought you trusted no one.”
The vampire appraised Carlisle and then nodded. “I am
called Alistair.”
“Alistair, it is a pleasure. You are the first Englishman I
have met in my travels.”
Alistair snorted. “I’ve met plenty. I care nothing for
them.”
Carlisle appreciated this slightly misanthropic tendency
and felt a strange affinity for this character. “And who attacked
you, Alistair?” Carlisle said directly.
Alistair held Carlisle’s eyes, “The vampire coven that
has ruled our world for twelve centuries: the Volturi.” Carlisle’s
face fell slightly hearing the name, and Alistair was satisfied he
had instilled the necessary fear. “If you have heard of them, they
knew about you long before you knew of them. And as I told
you, they are coming for you. I can feel it.”
“But why would they attack you? A single vampire
among thousands?” Carlisle replayed in his mind what Charles
and Makenna had told him. They attacked covens, not singles,
unless they broke a law… “Did you break their laws?”
“Laws, bah! They have no authority but fear. They are

168
not MY masters, no vampire rules me,” Alistair growled. “They
wanted me for something. They tried to capture me. Sent their
best after me. But I can get away.” Alistair smirked.
Carlisle understood, remembering Charles’s warning.
You have a gift they want.
Alistair looked back at Carlisle. “Carlisle, you are
unique too. I can feel it; though I don’t know exactly what you
have in you, I was drawn to your power. You MUST flee with
me!”
Carlisle shook his head and leaned forward slightly.
“Alistair, I appreciate your concern, but this is my home. I have
commitments, and I will leave when I choose to. No vampire
coven rules my destiny either.” Alistair frowned at Carlisle as his
own words were reflected back to him, and Carlisle smiled. Then
he stood and held a pillow out in front of Alistair. “Are you
ready?”
Alistair took the pillow and set his jaw. “Do it.” Carlisle
walked back over to the trembling limbs and put Alistair’s leg
into the fire, and Alistair screamed in pain and then threw the
pillow over his face, which partially muted the inhuman cries.
Setting the limbs back in place was relatively easy but it
took Carlisle’s bellows a long time to get the stony flesh hot
enough. The process essentially slowly burned Alistair alive to
restore him to wholeness.
Even after the limbs were back in place and Carlisle had
wrapped them tightly to hold them until they were completely

169
healed, Alistair fought against the residual pain. To keep
Alistair’s mind off the agony Carlisle began to tell him stories of
his life and adventures. He left out most of his human life but
spoke extensively about his time with humans as a vampire.
Finally, Alistair growled, “Why are you so fascinated
with living with humans?”
Carlisle smiled at Alistair’s ill humor. “I’m not sure how
I feel about living with vampires.”
Alistair frowned. “Hmph. Well we agree on that point,
Carlisle. The lot of them can all go to hell.”
Carlisle looked down at Alistair with tremendous
sympathy. It was probably the strongest feeling he had toward a
vampire. “Tell me what they did to you, Alistair.”
Alistair turned and stared at Carlisle with wide eyes.
“What is your gift, Carlisle?”
Carlisle shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean,
Alistair.”
Alistair seemed to scan over Carlisle’s entire body and
frowned deeply. Finally, he appeared to decide to drop the topic.
“Carlisle, I have been places and done things that you cannot
comprehend at this moment.” His haunted eyes looked up at
Carlisle’s furrowed brow. “I can tell you that I have worked
tirelessly to prevent vampires from destroying humanity. But – I
am still a killer.”
Carlisle stared at Alistair. “Did you face the Volturi?”
Alistair smirked again. “I don’t face anyone. I whisper,

170
sidle, and undermine. I work in the shadows. I don’t know why I
do most of the things I do. I don’t know where I am going half of
the time.” Alistair frowned and groaned slightly against the pain.
Then he looked back at Carlisle with pained eyes. “All I know is
I was being drawn to Rome with a force I had never felt before.
In all of my time, I have never had such a strong pull on my
path. But as I approached the city, I was attacked. I am certain
one of them was a Volturi – Felix. I’ll never forget his stench.”
Alistair growled. “The other, he was too skilled, and I never
caught a face or scent. They left me in a ditch, they don’t have
the courage to simply kill me, so they just maimed me and left
me!” Alistair shouted, and his limbs shook. Carlisle put a hand
on Alistair’s chest to calm him. Alistair looked back at him. “It
appeared to be too sloppy an attack to be ordered by the Volturi.
But Felix does not do anything of his own accord.” Alistair’s
brows lifted as he whispered, “They must been watching you,
and were leaving to return to Volterra, but they sensed my
approach. They tried to stop me from reaching you because --
they are coming back.”
“Why would they try to stop you from meeting me?”
Carlisle was stunned.
Alistair chuckled. “The Volturi must want you all to
themselves. And they fear the hand of destiny,” Alistair pointed
to himself, then he scanned Carlisle again and grinned as he
nodded toward Carlisle and whispered, “as well as the future.”

171
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next evening when Carlisle left for work, Alistair

lay essentially in a state of exhausted repose, recovering from the
trauma of the treatment. Carlisle left him to his thoughts.
Carlisle began his evening in the chapel again. He was
troubled by his encounter with Alistair but he thanked God for
bringing Alistair to him. Then he prayed that whatever destiny
God had laid out for him that he would do God’s will.
With his head still bowed, he heard Brambilla walking
down the hall to find him. Brambilla sat in a pew and waited as
Carlisle finished his prayer at the altar, and then Carlisle joined
him.
“Giuseppe has been singing your praises and telling the
story of your amazing discovery of the nest all afternoon,”
Brambilla smiled.
Carlisle chuckled and nodded.
“I’m leaving within a month,” Brambilla said quietly.
Carlisle turned to stare at him. “Why?”
“I have been asked to become director of the Josefinum
school and hospital in Vienna.”
Carlisle raised his eyebrows. “The Emperor is letting
you leave?”
Brambilla chuckled, “Joseph will be in good hands
without me. He understands that I will be carrying on his good
name in Vienna.” He turned toward Carlisle, “I have

172
recommended that you be joined to the order and take
administration of the hospital.”
Carlisle stared at Brambilla. “Giovanni, I cannot accept.”
Brambilla smiled. “Carlisle, you have abilities, and
leadership beyond any other here. You know how much good
you can do if you take on this hospital. You may carry this
hospital into the next century.”
Carlisle stared at Brambilla, and Brambilla did not look
away. Carlisle knew the look on Brambilla’s face: for some
reason when men of God recognized Carlisle for what he was, it
did not concern him as much. Brambilla’s eyes wrinkled with
amusement. “God told me you were coming, Carlisle. And
whether you accept my offer and stay, or if you go, you have
done His work. And I know you will continue His work, no
matter where you are.”
Carlisle turned his gaze back to the altar and tried to hear
God’s wishes. Was this the response to his prayer?
Just as he was about to ask for God’s guidance he caught
a scent, and he turned his head quickly. It was new, and it was
close. Carlisle stood up. Yet again, it seemed his responsibilities
as a vampire would interfere, but this was the first time Carlisle
considered that God might have something to do with his destiny
as a vampire.
“Giovanni, I must leave. I will return when I can.”
Carlisle ran out of the chapel and to his apartment. Alistair was
right.

173
 Carlisle knew before he ran inside his apartment that
Alistair had fled, and he found the note in the kitchen.

Carlisle – You have saved my life. That is a debt I can

never repay. I am drawn away, and by now I am sure
you know they are here. Do not trust them. Do not aid
them. Your gift is the strongest I have ever seen. They
will try to keep you.
Good luck – Alistair

Carlisle expected as much the moment he caught the

scent of the vampire watching him at the hospital. He shook his
head and smiled. Alistair was, so far, the vampire he had
connected with the best. Carlisle folded up the note and put it in
Hawthorne’s box, silently wishing that he might see Alistair
again someday.
Carlisle walked out to his private balcony and looked out
over Rome. Evening church bells were ringing, and Carlisle
contemplated his future. It seemed that wherever he went, the
vampires came to him. He was not really trying to avoid them,
he simply wanted to live as he wished. But now he knew that
would not be possible until he faced the oncoming challenge.
Carlisle threw out his right hand, and without needing to
look for his target he locked his fingers around the throat of the
vampire that had appeared at his side only a moment before.
Carlisle had sensed him following him from the hospital and

174
waiting outside his window, which was why Carlisle had walked
out onto the balcony. Carlisle turned his head to the newcomer.
“I am Carlisle.”
The new vampire was the same size as Carlisle, had
chin-length dark hair and dark eyebrows, and he smiled even
though Carlisle still held his throat in an iron grip. “Yes, I know,
Señor Cullen. My name is Eleazar.”

175
176
 CHAPTER 10
~~1770~~

Eleazar’s dramatically angular face and sharply defined

lips were turned up in a pleasant smile that did not falter as
Carlisle assessed his expression, still keeping his fingers around
the visitor’s throat. “Entering my home uninvited might be
considered inexcusably rude, or terribly arrogant,” Carlisle said
with a slight edge in his voice.
Eleazar did not bother to discount either theory. “Your
apprehension is understandable. Please, let me assure you that I
am here alone because we did not wish to alarm you, especially
considering your recent company.”
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed and his grip tightened slightly.
“Where is Alistair?”
Eleazar chuckled. “Oh, I arrived only moments ago and
found you at your hospital. He was long gone and is now far
from our reach. And that is just as well, in my opinion. They
should have known better than to even try to interfere with him.
Alistair’s fate is his own business.”

177
 Carlisle decided Eleazar did genuinely believe that the
Volturi had no legitimate claim over Alistair, and that put him a
little more at ease. Finally, he released his hand and took a step
back.
Eleazar smiled more broadly. “I know you have been
aware that we’ve been watching you. I personally have followed
you on and off since Paris.”
Carlisle was not shocked. “May I presume you speak for
the Volturi?”
Eleazar bowed. “Yes, you may assume that I am their
eyes and ears, but I speak for myself.” He grinned as he
emphasized the last statement.
Carlisle was now intrigued, but he was carefully guarded
his reactions. “And what have you reported to the Volturi about
me so far?”
Eleazar smiled again. “That you are the only exclusive
animal-feeder currently in Europe that we are aware of. You also
appear to be the first in at least five centuries to intend to
maintain a completely human lifestyle indefinitely. And, most
interestingly, by learning to desensitize yourself to blood you
have become a healer and a surgeon for humans.” Elezar shook
his head. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw you perform
surgery back in Paris. I watched from the roof as you jumped in
the back of a wagon that brought a man to your hospital and you
had to amputate his leg in the open air. I thought you would feed
on him right then and there.” Eleazar chuckled, but not

178
mockingly. “But look at you now! I saw you covered in blood
last month with barely a wrinkle in your brow.”
“It’s been nearly century since I began practicing. And
there were times I never thought I would be able to do what I can
today.” Carlisle’s eyes were distant with many memories of past
failures.
Eleazar shook his head. “Does the scent of blood not…
light your mouth on fire anymore?”
Carlisle shrugged, “Yes, there are times it still bothers
me, but the pain decreases over time. And I enjoy the work too
much now to let it interfere.”
Eleazar tilted his head slightly to the side. “I sense
unparalleled self-control in you. You think you have struggled
over the last 100 years, but you have no idea what it is like for
the rest of us.” His brows knit, his grin disappeared, and he
leaned forward slightly. “And you also draw me in with your
dedication, your conviction, and your deep, endless compassion
for suffering… because you have suffered…” Eleazar’s voice
was almost a whisper as it faded out. Then he blinked, shook his
head, and his smile returned. “Fascinating. You are like – a force
of nature, Carlisle.” He took a step backward as if he was trying
to escape a gravitational pull and shake off Carlisle’s influence
on his mind.
Carlisle looked back at Eleazar. He was obviously gifted
in reading vampires, and both Charles and Alistair, two other
gifted vampires, had said similar things to him. Yet Carlisle still

179
could not fully comprehend what it all meant. Carlisle did not
feel anything significant from the vampires he met. Vampires
felt different to Carlisle, had a different impact on his senses, but
he was certain he was significantly more affected by humans
than vampires. Carlisle was a little shocked by that realization
and began to wonder if there was something he was missing. He
put that thought aside and focused back on Eleazar.
Eleazar did seem genuinely interested in Carlisle, not
simply a mouthpiece or a minion. However, Carlisle could not be
sure if Eleazar was reading things that he might share with the
Volturi and not with Carlisle. “Eleazar, what do the Volturi want
with me? And who are you in relation to them?”
Eleazar smiled again. “Carlisle, I promise you that all of
your questions will be answered shortly. I have been following
you to fulfill my own curiosity, but I was recently asked to make
contact with you as a member of the Volturi Guard, and to give
you a gift.” Eleazar produced a small parcel wrapped in velvet
from underneath his cloak.
Carlisle was completely surprised by this gesture. He
took the package and cautiously unwrapped the fabric to reveal a
rolled, crimson-red dyed leather pouch that was lavishly
embellished with gold stitching. He untied the thong and
unrolled it. The leather had been sewn into smaller pockets, and
inside each sleeve was a highly polished metal tool. It was a
surgeon’s instrument pouch with over a dozen fine knives, saws,
spreaders, and clamps. Carlisle glanced up at Eleazar. While he

180
was flattered by the gift, he found the context somewhat
macabre. “Please express my gratitude to your master.”
Eleazar chuckled good-naturedly. “Trust me, Carlisle,
we none of us have masters any longer.” He bowed slightly. “It
truly was a pleasure to finally speak with you after following you
for so long. I have enjoyed watching your progress.” He started
to turn away but stopped and looked back at Carlisle again. “And
I look forward to talking much more in the future about your…
lifestyle.” He lowered his head and then stood straight and
smiled once more before he turned and jumped off the balcony
into the starlit night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, as the sun was setting before Carlisle left
for work, he heard a carriage pulled by a team of six horses stop
under his apartment window. Carlisle immediately stopped what
he was doing and listened. When he heard feather-light footsteps
he knew what was coming. He picked up the crimson leather
pouch, which was sitting next to him on his desk, and walked
toward his front door. When he was within one step of the entry,
there were three polite knocks. Carlisle opened the door, and
Eleazar was standing there with a black, cloaked figure.
Eleazar was slightly less genial this time. He actually
seemed tense. “Carlisle Cullen, may I present Aro of the
Volturi.”

181
 The cloaked figure lowered his hood, and Carlisle was
surprised to see that his complexion appeared aged. His skin was
flakey, like translucent shale instead of marble, and his eyes
were slightly cloudy; and both gave him an unsettling
appearance because it was difficult to read his face. Even his
long curtain of dark hair seemed unnatural because it appeared to
melt into his dark hood and cloak. Carlisle nodded to the new
visitor whom every vampire he had met took so seriously. “It is
an honor.”
Aro smiled more warmly than Carlisle would ever have
thought possible, and it was a strange contrast to his cold face.
“No, Carlisle, I fully expect that the honor is in fact mine. May I
enter?” His voice was soft and amused, and almost musical.
Carlisle wondered if Eleazar had reported to Aro about
his respect for etiquette. Carlisle stepped aside and gestured for
the two vampires to enter. Only Aro, however, crossed over the
threshold. Carlisle turned back to Eleazar, who smiled for the
first time at Carlisle. “You have much to discuss.” Then he
disappeared in a blur as he ran back down the stairs.
Aro took no notice of Eleazar’s departure, and Carlisle
found him standing in the middle of the parlor gazing around the
room at various objects with a smile on his face like a child
surrounded by his most cherished desires. “You are a collector!”
Aro glided over to Carlisle’s cabinet that held all of his journals
and held his palm out in front of the locked doors without
touching the handle. “You spend hours each day here. This holds

182
a great deal of who you are.” His voice rang with barely
contained excitement. He drifted over to the desk and held his
hand over Hawthorne’s box. This time his soft voice was more
reverent. “This has been with you since the beginning, and it
reeks of blood and exudes memory.”
Then Aro stopped in his tracks and stared at the wall in
front of him. Carlisle followed Aro’s eyes but that particular wall
boasted only an unassuming painting that had come with the
apartment. Aro drifted forward through the arched doorway into
the bedroom just to the left of the wall where his eyes were
locked. Carlisle now understood what had captivated Aro.
Carlisle followed and found Aro staring down at the Reverend’s
cross where it leaned against the wall. Aro pointed to the cross,
and now he was not smiling, the child-like glee gone. “This was
your first piece. It is the oldest.”
Carlisle did not feel the need to respond. Aro floated
over to the cross and for the first time he reached out and
touched an object in Carlisle’s apartment. He ran his fingers very
gently over the soft, flowing grain in the wood. Aro closed his
eyes; touching the cross seemed to somehow disturb him. Aro
turned back to Carlisle. “This is from when you were still
human. It still carries the scent of your blood.”
Carlisle still kept his face completely neutral. He had
received enough warnings about the Volturi to know not to try to
hide anything but also not to give anything away.
“So, you have only one item in your collection from

183
your human existence, which suggests that you are more
interested in learning from your vampire existence. Yet you
spend all of your time pretending to be a human. I cannot resist
asking why, Carlisle.” Aro looked directly into Carlisle’s eyes,
his amused curiosity returning.
Carlisle looked back at Aro. “I did not choose to be a
vampire, and I do not want to kill humans. I must learn about
myself so I can learn how to use my abilities to help them.”
Aro turned to the cross again and held his hand just
above the wood. “There is more pain in this wood than there is in
your entire collection.” Aro’s deep red eyes closed. “You
suffered as a human. Why do you want to help them?”
Carlisle answered simply, “What other purpose can God
have for an eternal life but to help others?”
Aro shifted his weight away from Carlisle and his eyes
snapped open, and he whipped his head around to stare at
Carlisle. His eyes held Carlisle’s for a moment and then looked
Carlisle over thoroughly as he stood there dumbfounded. Carlisle
stared back at him because while what he had said was probably
shocking, Aro appeared to be physically affected by Carlisle.
Finally, Aro looked back into his eyes. “Carlisle, I
thought that Eleazar and the others were exaggerating about you.
And I am not wrong very often.” His words carried the weight of
millennia of experience. Then a smile slowly spread across this
face, “But apparently, you were made to break the mold.” Aro
laughed lightly, but Carlisle could see something he had not

184
expected in this patriarch: fear.
Carlisle examined Aro’s cloudy eyes. “Why should you
fear me?”
Aro chuckled, his red eyes narrowing to half-moons as
he smiled. “Carlisle, how old are you?”
“I am 127.” Carlisle could not see the significance.
Aro did not react. “And how long have you been a
vampire?”
“For 104 years,” Carlisle said quietly.
Aro nodded and then drifted over to the double doors
that were letting in the last of the direct sunshine from the setting
sun and put his hand out into the light. The rays bounced off the
surface of his skin, flashing a rainbow of colors. “I am over 2700
years old.” He stated that fact lightly, but Carlisle knew he meant
it to have an impact. He turned back to Carlisle. “Most vampires
can feel that I carry a significant presence. But you,” Aro waved
his hand lightly toward Carlisle, “you actually project such
waves of power all around you… that you barely even notice I
exist.” Carlisle could not hide his surprise, and Aro laughed out
loud. “And you do not even understand what I mean.” Aro took a
step closer. “Carlisle, I’ve come to ask you to visit Volterra. I
think that we can learn a lot from each other.”
Carlisle looked for any sign of deceit in Aro but saw
none save the element of fear he was still trying to hide. Carlisle
knew that Alistair was right; the Volturi would try to keep him.
However, Carlisle also knew that he still had so much to learn,

185
and that this was an invitation that would enable him to see what
the Volturi were about for himself, as well as to have access to
some of the oldest records and memories in existence. If the
vampires had anything that Carlisle might find more meaningful
than the life he had made for himself serving humans, this would
be his best chance of finding out.
“Send a carriage for me and a second for my collection
in thirty days,” Carlisle said simply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleazar returned on the appointed date. Carlisle had

concluded his affairs with the hospital, much to the chagrin of
the new administrator. “You will always have a place here in
Rome, but especially at Santo Spirito.”
Carlisle was melancholy as they drove away, and
Eleazar left him to his thoughts for the first few hours. They
drove all night with the curtains open; Carlisle breathed in the
sea air as they skirted the coastline. Suddenly, Eleazar began to
chuckle. “I have never seen a vampire behave so much like a
human.”
Carlisle had to smile a little. Eleazar would sit still as a
statue for the entire trip, but Carlisle felt the need to continue to
shift and breathe and blink, like humans did. “It’s become such
second nature I barely think about it anymore.”
“May I ask you my questions, Carlisle?” Eleazar’s voice

186
had taken on a delighted and curious tone that reminded Carlisle
of Aro.
Carlisle nodded. “You may ask me anything you wish.”
“How did you resist feeding on humans right after the
change?” Eleazar asked.
Carlisle shrugged. “I was so focused on not becoming
what I feared the most that I was able to isolate myself so I
would not harm anyone.”
Eleazar’s eyes went wide. “You tried to kill yourself,”
he was leaning toward Carlisle again, captivated.
Carlisle’s small smile returned. “Tried and failed.”
Eleazar’s brows came together. “Carlisle, you do
realize… that it may be impossible to kill you?”
Carlisle chuckled. “What do you mean? All of us can be
killed in some way – ”
“No, no, listen to me. You wanted to know why Aro
fears you, yes?” Carlisle nodded. Eleazar seemed to be searching
for the correct words. “Aro fears you because you are likely the
most powerful vampire we have ever seen.” Carlisle merely
stared at him incredulously, so Eleazar continued gesturing with
his hands to express what he was trying to communicate. “The
power within you – it is not a tangible, overt gift. It is a corona.
It radiates out like the sun and moon send out light. My gift is to
read the gifts of others, and in my 600 years I have never met
another like you. Even Aro was clearly confounded by you. We
do not yet know the limits to your strength. And to my

187
knowledge, you have only tested your mental strength.”
Carlisle nodded in agreement. “I have never had the
need to test anything else.” The only exception was when he
trained with Charles and Makenna. Carlisle decided not to bring
up their names. He doubted they would want to become a topic
of conversation in Volterra.
Eleazar seemed to have more to say on the subject of
Carlisle’s unknown talents, but instead he switched back to his
original question. “Do you never thirst for human blood?”
Carlisle shook his head. “I never want to drink human
blood. But yes, the old thirst is still there.”
Eleazar’s brow wrinkled. “And how do you control it?”
Suddenly, Carlisle realized there was more behind these
questions than simple curiosity. “You’ve been following me
because you want to live like me.” Carlisle was for that brief
moment happier than he had ever felt in decades. He was not
alone.
Eleazar, however, became guarded and looked away.
“No, no. I simply… need more information.” Then he sighed. “I
don’t think I could ever hope to have your self-control, Carlisle.”
Carlisle felt the hope inside him wane slightly, but not
completely. Eleazar clearly had a complicated life. He was part
of the Volturi and did their bidding; but, that allowed him to
wander mostly on his own, and he did not call them his masters.
He was also clearly questioning his way of life after watching
how Carlisle lived his, but he did not believe he could make it

188
work. “I am always here if you want to know more,” Carlisle
said quietly.
Eleazar nodded and then dropped the topic. They drove
through the night and the day; their human escorts changed
drivers as needed to get both carriages to Volterra by the
following dawn just as the sun was rising.
When they arrived the carriages were driven into an
opulent covered driveway with gargoyles that stared down at
them from every inch of the roof. The two vampires walked
directly into the citadel through two enormous ornate doors that
were covered with wooden carvings painted in gold, and
depicted scenes of terror and massacre. Carlisle found the doors
quite unwelcoming.
A tall, thick vampire with short, black hair met them at
the entry. His crimson eyes were somehow more disconcerting
than Eleazar’s, perhaps because there was only thinly veiled
menace in them, and his lips curled up in a sinister smile.
“Mister Cullen, my name is Felix. My master asked me to admit
you to the castle, and bring you directly to the audience chamber.
All of the Volturi are there to greet you.”
Carlisle nodded cautiously. “Thank you.”
Felix shot a glance at Eleazar that Carlisle could not read
and then he turned and led them forward.
“I thought you did not have masters,” Carlisle murmured
with a little mocking in his tone. Eleazar merely smiled and
looked forward. Carlisle knew what he had meant: they and a

189
few others were on a different level than some of the other
Volturi Guard.
The enormous entry hall was two stories high, and every
inch was painted fresco. And astonishingly, it was full of human
servants. Carlisle was instantly horrified by how many were
there and Felix suddenly flinched, then stopped in his tracks. He
looked back at Carlisle, and then turned to Eleazar and lifted a
brow in surprise.
Eleazar quickly put a hand on Carlisle’s shoulder and
leaned close so he could whisper into his ear. “They are only
servants. We either go outside the city, or our food is brought to
us. Volterra is very safe for its human inhabitants.”
Carlisle tossed Eleazar a quick disapproving glance, but
reminded himself once again that he was willingly entering a
vampire fortress. He had to respect their customs. He promised
himself, however, that he would not allow any killing in his
presence.
Eleazar and Carlisle walked behind Felix as he led them
up the grand marble staircase that was lined with mirrors. They
went up several levels to chambers high above the main level of
the citadel. Eleazar seemed tense but in control and confident.
Finally, they stood at the top of the staircase under a
large painted dome and in front of two more enormous, ornately
carved wooden doors. These doors were even more ghastly than
the entryway. Everything about this palace screamed: run away.
As soon as they were standing in front of the doors, the panels

190
swung open.
Aro’s lilting tones rose above the din inside. His voice
actually seemed to come from everywhere and right in your ear
all at once. “My new friend, Carlisle, please, come and meet the
Volturi!”
The audience chamber was a stark contrast to the rest of
the building Carlisle had passed through. The white marble
floors shone, and the ceiling was painted in glorious bright
pictures of the countryside and the sea filling the domed roof
above a circle of large windows that bathed the room in bright
morning sunlight. The chamber itself resembled nothing so much
as an ornate Roman cathedral with stained glass windows and
carvings, even wooden box pews where the Volturi sat, and
Carlisle found the echo of such holy sanctuaries distasteful.
There were over three-dozen Volturi varying in shapes and sizes;
all wore the deep black robes, their skin gleamed in the natural
light that flooded the room, and every pair of eyes that stared at
Carlisle were a deep, blood-red color.
Eleazar remained at Carlisle’s side as they entered the
room, but Felix moved to the left and let them pass and then
immediately began reporting to those around him in a low growl.
“As we were walking through the hallway past the humans I felt
him!”
Carlisle did not listen to anymore because he was too
focused on what was ahead of him. On a dais several steps above
the mass of vampires there were three wooden thrones with lions

191
carved on the armrests. Two more ancient vampires now flanked
Aro, and they mildly resembled each other but they differed in
the appearance of their physical age and one had white hair.
“Carlisle, this company is the Volturi Guard, and we are
the original sons of Volterra. May I present, Caius,” Aro
indicated the vampire with white hair and a displeased look,
“and Marcus.” Aro turned to the other with long dark hair and an
exquisitely bored countenance.
“So this is the animal-feeder,” Caius looked down his
long nose disapprovingly. “You think 100 years without drinking
human blood is impressive?”
“Ah, now, brother, he has never tasted human blood.
Ever.” Aro corrected gleefully.
“He has probably bathed in more human blood than you,
Caius, and never consumed a drop of it. And you have never
saved a human life, or any life for that matter,” Eleazar said
defensively, and with more than a little ire. Carlisle was
surprised that Eleazar felt the need to be his advocate and put up
a hand to prevent him from going any further.
“Living among humans is simply hubris. You think you
are the first to try it? The arrogance,” Caius scoffed and turned
away, sitting down on his wooden throne.
Though Marcus still looked supremely bored, his cloudy
eyes were now on Carlisle, and he did not sit down. Aro sighed.
“Caius does not care for my interest in expanding our knowledge
– a passion that I believe you share, Carlisle.”

192
 Carlisle, however, did not miss what Caius had implied.
“How many others like me have there been?”
Aro grinned. “There have been many others.”
Carlisle’s eyes were now wide. “Where are they?” For a
moment he hoped that they might actually be in this group.
“Gone,” Eleazar said quietly.
Carlisle turned to him. “Gone where?” He glared at
Eleazar as if he had kept a secret from him.
“We do not know, Carlisle,” Aro said soothingly. “We
find them occasionally, we make contact, and most of them
recant their ways after a period of time. But those who remain
staunchly abstinent after about 100 years simply… disappear,”
he waved his hands theatrically.
“We assume they fade and die. We have found no traces.
Well, some naturally are killed, but most of them are simply
gone,” Eleazar frowned and his tone betrayed his frustration.
Carlisle suddenly felt completely exposed. Before the
largest coven of vampires he could ever imagine existed, he had
been told without ceremony that he was alone, and would likely
be alone forever.
“You, however, seem to be the exception.” Aro said
eagerly. “You have not only survived over 100 years, you have
also thrived!”
“After I lost the last one, I swore I would not let you out
of my sight.” Eleazar said firmly. “We have been completely
surprised because we see no weakness in you, in fact, we all feel

193
a power that we cannot comprehend,” Eleazar finished with a
smile.
“Enough! He is not a herald or an omen as you all seem
to think! Look at him! He is a child! What could he possibly
bring to us? He doesn’t want to even be one of us!” Caius
screamed.
Suddenly, Marcus lifted a hand from beneath his robes
and offered his palm to Aro without looking at him because his
eyes were still trained on Carlisle. Everyone turned toward
Marcus, and even Aro seemed slightly startled but eagerly
clasped Marcus’ hand. Then he smiled more broadly still as he
released the hand and Marcus turned to sit down.
“My brother says that Caius is wrong. He senses that the
power of your connection to life, all forms of life, is larger than
the simple relationships between individuals. It is a type of
connection he has never experienced before.” Aro clapped his
hands together ecstatically. “We have so much more to discuss.
We will begin after you have settled and unpacked. Eleazar, will
you see him to the family level? We have prepared an entirely
new apartment for him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle spent most of his time over the years with Aro.
It was clear that Caius had no desire to spend any more time near
him. Also, Aro was obviously unsure that Carlisle did not

194
represent a significant challenge to their authority, but he also
perceived more than most that Carlisle was genuinely
uninterested in amassing power. Aro found this a little foolish
considering the strength at Carlisle’s disposal, but he was happy
to be able to converse with Carlisle without wondering whether
Carlisle was gathering tactical information.
Aro and Carlisle frequented many artistic venues but
favored the local opera, and they would sit in silence marveling
at the heights capable of the human voice. As yet, Aro did not
know of a vampire that had the range of a boy soprano.
Vampires had inhumanly beautiful voices that carried the sound
of music even when they spoke, but they could not reproduce the
labile motion of the vocal cords of an immature human child.
They sat in Aro’s patron’s box and drank in a range of sound that
only a vampire can appreciate fully.
Afterward, they often walked in the gardens of the castle
together and one evening Aro stopped to lay a hand on an
ancient olive tree that stood near the center, with its branches
reaching to the velvet sky streaked with billions of stars. Carlisle
saw how lovingly Aro stroked the bark, and he smiled slightly.
“The first in your collection?”
Aro did not look back at Carlisle. “No, it was my
father’s.”
Carlisle’s smile faded. “As was the cross in my
collection. It hung in his church for over thirty years.”
Aro was intrigued. “Your father was a clergyman?”

195
 Carlisle nodded. “And yours?”
Aro sighed. “He was a spice trader. Our shipments came
from the port at Piombino, and we brought them to Volterra for
trading with inland merchants. We enjoyed quite a colorful life.
We left the village more than most people, we mixed with sailors
and people from distant lands, and we brought culture to our
region. My mother was the daughter of the administrator of the
port. She brought my father even more wealth and more than a
little spice into his life.” Aro smiled, and then the smile faded.
“As my father aged, I began to learn about running the
business. Marcus was the son of my father’s business partner, a
good six years older than me, and he had the best mind for
business deals because he seemed to understand the relationships
between people. I had the brains and helped Marcus with the
numbers and strategic planning.” Then Aro’s face became hard
with a deep frown. “Marcus and I were driving a new shipment
home from the port when we got word on the road that a local
war lord had attacked Volterra. I had never been so frightened.
We found the city burning, and our parents among those who
had been murdered. The clan that attacked did not care about the
fertile fields or defensible position of the city; they only cared
about looting and stealing people for slave labor. My sister was
among those taken. There were not even enough men left alive to
mount a counter-offensive.” Aro’s ancient teeth were clenched,
and his crimson eyes were burning with hatred over two
millennia later.

196
 “Marcus was inconsolable, he wept over his mother’s
body for days. I was merely frightened for my life. We found
Caius wandering aimlessly in a livid rage. He had killed dozens
of the attacking clan and swore revenge for his burning home.
Marcus wandered away from our camp one night while we were
asleep, and we did not find him for two weeks despite our
desperate search. Then one evening he simply walked back into
our camp as if nothing had happened. Only something had
happened,” Aro’s eyes went wide as he recalled the ancient
memory.
“Marcus had in his hand the white severed head of our
enemy. And we could see in the firelight that Marcus now had
blood-red eyes. He said that he had found a way to restore peace
to Volterra. Caius immediately wanted to join, but I was more
cautious. ‘Where did you find men to help you kill the war lord?’
I asked plainly. Marcus shook his head, ‘I found the power to kill
him myself.’
“Caius was ravenous; he screamed, ‘Give me the power
too!’ But I wanted more information. ‘Where did you find such
power?’ Marcus lifted his hand. ‘Take my hand.’ I reached out,
and the moment I touched his frozen skin I knew what Marcus
had become and what he had done. I began to recoil, but he
pulled me into an iron grip and sank his teeth into my arm.” Aro
sighed. “Four days of pain later, I woke up to find myself
changed, and Caius was already awake and looking for his first
kill.”

197
 Carlisle looked sympathetically at Aro. He was certain
Aro had revealed more than he intended. “Did you resent
Marcus?”
Aro turned to Carlisle and looked a little defiant. “Yes,”
then the fire returned to his red eyes, “until, as he promised, we
reclaimed the city. We hunted down our enemies. I rescued my
younger sister, Didyme, who had been taken.” Aro’s brow
creased as he said her name but then he quickly recovered. “And
then we built our citadel with this garden around the ruins of my
father’s house. And we made the city safe. And we have held it
for nearly 3,000 years.”
Carlisle watched as Aro’s eyes became almost wild with
his tale of glorious revenge. Carlisle empathized with the trauma
that led Aro to his current life, but he knew that Aro would never
understand Carlisle’s perspective on the corruption of power.
Aro noted Carlisle’s reserved acknowledgment of the
tale of the Volturi, and he grinned as he changed the subject to
another point of contention between them. “Now may I ask you a
question?” Carlisle nodded. “Do you acknowledge that your
natural thirst is for human blood?” Carlisle nodded. “And do you
acknowledge that most beasts of the world crave what will
nourish their bodies the best?” Carlisle nodded again. “Then why
do you fight your most natural instinct for survival?”
Carlisle took a moment to consider his reply and then he
looked back at Aro. “Why do you enforce the law against
revealing the secret?”

198
 “To maintain order and the food supply.” Aro replied.
“Maintaining order in vampire society?” Carlisle asked.
Aro smiled and nodded. “I am upholding the social rules and a
morality of human society, and I believe they are more
important.” Carlisle spoke softly, but firmly.
Aro’s eyes swept over Carlisle again and he did not
speak for several minutes. “Every time you talk about humans
with such empathy, you send out a current, Carlisle.” Aro looked
back at Carlisle’s face. “I wonder if this innate source within you
is endless.”
Carlisle saw wonder in Aro’s eyes, but there was a hint
of jealousy. He ignored it and focused on the question he had
wanted to ask Aro for years. “But what do the currents feel like
to you?”
“I do not know,” Aro whispered. Then he dropped the
topic. “Do you think that upholding human social rules makes
you faultless?”
Carlisle frowned. “No, I do not believe anyone is above
moral judgment or the consequences of their actions.”
“But we are above human morality, my friend. Our
society has completely different values,” Aro smiled.
“And what principles among vampires are different or
higher than human morals?” Carlisle inquired.
“We kill. We must kill. Life is not sacred. The only
sacred value for vampires is our fidelity.”
Carlisle frowned again. “If life has no value, then life

199
has no meaning. And that would make our existence
meaningless. I cannot accept that.”
Aro grinned. “Carlisle, my dear one, you look for
meaning in an existence that is endless. The longer you live the
more you will see that things that are eternal rarely have
meaning, they simply exist.”
Carlisle’s brow creased. “So then what is your reason for
living?”
Aro’s grin spread across his face eerily. “Curiosity, my
dear Carlisle, I am driven by unending curiosity.” Then Aro’s
eyes narrowed. “And what drives you, Carlisle?”
A single word answer appeared in his mind, and he
knew it was the only word that could describe what drove him to
fight his instincts every day. “Compassion.”
Aro turned his head and stared at Carlisle again. This
time however, he did not tell Carlisle what he was thinking, and
after an hour of silence Aro left Carlisle in the garden and drifted
back into the citadel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle spent his afternoons in the cloistered garden

enclosed by a very high stone wall that allowed a few hours of
direct sunlight. There was no danger of any humans seeing the
dazzling display of vampire skin in the sunlight, so Carlisle spent
every available hour of direct sunlight in the beautiful green

200
space next to the olive tree.
Carlisle had never seen so much sun. Growing up in
England and spending most of his time in the north did not
afford him much exposure to the warm glow. Now, living so
much farther south, Carlisle could not get enough of it. His
vampire eyes could perceive even more in the world around him
when it was bathed in sunlight.
During one of his sunlit afternoons Carlisle was reading
a scroll Aro said was originally from the library at Alexandria
when he heard some familiar footsteps. Carlisle turned and saw
Eleazar bearing his characteristic broad smile. “When you left I
did not realize that you would be gone for so long.” Carlisle
chuckled.
Eleazar shrugged. “What is eleven years to a member of
the Volturi, Carlisle?”
Carlisle narrowed his eyes slightly as he smiled, but he
let the misnomer slide. “Are you staying long?”
Eleazar stepped out into the sunlight, and the shine on
his skin was almost as lustrous as the blue-black sheen of his
hair. “I’ve returned because I am reporting on my latest find.”
Eleazar smiled broadly.
Carlisle nodded, but there was something in Eleazar’s
smile that made Carlisle’s brows crease. “What is it? You are
hiding something behind that large grin.”
Eleazar did not reply. He simply turned and walked back
into the castle. Carlisle was meant to follow. Carlisle sighed and

201
rolled up the scroll before placing it back in the engraved metal
tube. As soon as Eleazar walked back into the citadel Carlisle
heard him speaking to another vampire. When Carlisle walked
inside, Eleazar was blocking his view of the visitor.
“He is one of my favorite vampires, the most fascinating
of our kind that I have ever encountered,” Eleazar said. Then,
hearing Carlisle behind him, he stepped aside to reveal a vampire
with long, curly, dark hair pulled up into an elaborate twist, her
petite figure encased in a voluminous royal purple gown. With a
broad Eleazar smile he introduced her with a bow and flourish.
“Carlisle Cullen, may I introduce Miss Raisa Yashin.”
She was breathtakingly beautiful; her petal lips led to a
dramatic pointed chin that accentuated her long swan neck. Her
hair came to a widow’s peak and framed her enormous eyes. Her
beauty almost distracted Carlisle from the shining golden color
looking back at him. Carlisle was speechless. Finally, he
whispered, “Another like me?”
Raisa smiled broadly. “Yes, Mister Cullen. Though, I
confess, I have tasted human blood a few times.” She lifted a
brow coquettishly.
Carlisle reached for her hands without thinking about
decorum and clasped both of them within his own. “I cannot tell
you… how long I have waited for you.” Carlisle felt as if his
cold heart might start beating again.

202
 CHAPTER 11
~~1784~~

Carlisle stood with Eleazar when Raisa was introduced

to Aro. Aro seemed somewhat put out by her.
“And where did our talented Eleazar find you?” Aro’s
tone was smooth as silk. Carlisle tossed a glance at Eleazar who
rolled his eyes.
“Siberia, my Lord,” Raisa said graciously.
Aro smiled, “Well, dear one, I can see my friend Carlisle
is happy that Eleazar brought you to us.” Aro looked up at
Carlisle, and his grin faltered slightly. “You will stay in Volterra,
Carlisle?” The statement was more a command than a question,
but Carlisle let it slide because he didn’t care.
“Of course, Aro,” Carlisle said quickly.
Aro smiled again and then held out his hand to Raisa,
“May I share your thoughts, dear one?”
Eleazar stepped forward, “Aro, stop – Raisa, remember
what I told you: Aro can read every thought you ever had
instantaneously if you touch him.”

203
 Raisa lifted her hand to Eleazar, “I do not object,
Eleazar. I have nothing to hide.” She delicately touched the
center of Aro’s palm and then stepped back as Aro grinned down
at her.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Raisa.” Aro’s smile now
held a strange tension, but it was as gleeful as ever.
Carlisle spent weeks with Eleazar and Raisa, showing
them what he had learned and taking Raisa to all of his favorite
haunts in and around Volterra. Together the three of them were
the liveliest bunch among the Volturi. When Eleazar left again
on another assignment and Carlisle was alone with Raisa nothing
else in the world existed.
Raisa was from a remote area of the harsh cold southern
region of Siberia. She had been changed by an unnamed vampire
who had then left her completely alone. She had killed her entire
village by the time she recovered from the haze of her
transformation and early thirst, including her entire extended
family. She’d had a husband and six children and she’d fed on
all of them before she realized what she was doing.
The village was so remote that six months would go by
between visitors. Raisa began feeding on animals out of
necessity but quickly realized that she could easily survive
without human blood. Out of remorse for what she had done to
her family and village, she swore an oath never to kill another
human.
A traveler came eight months after she was transformed.

204
Her lack of exposure to humans made being near him a nearly
impossible situation. When she bit him, however, she
remembered sobbing for weeks over her husband’s decaying
body, and she recalled her oath. She sucked out the venom from
his burning arm, nursed him to health, told him he had caught a
fever, and sent him on his way. From that moment on, she
remembered her oath and lived only on animal blood.
Raisa remembered with longing everything about her
human life, especially her husband and her children. She told
Carlisle the entire life story of each of her six children. It took
two months, and Carlisle did not speak until she was done.
Raisa was the second person that Carlisle told about his
father, and he told Raisa much more than he ever told
Hawthorne. He told her his entire story which took nearly a year
and a half.
When Carlisle finished telling how he came to Volterra
they were out in one of their favorite remote wooded areas
hunting for deer, Carlisle’s favorite. Raisa preferred wolves,
tundra wolves especially, but was developing a taste for the local
deer.
Carlisle was looking up at the vast sky and telling her
about the octagonal dome in Santo Spirito. “When I would pray
every morning I would look up at the ornate carvings and just
imagine they were part of the night sky. Nothing can match the
beauty of the Milky Way.”
Raisa turned to Carlisle. “Tell me how you made your

205
peace with God.”
Carlisle looked back at her and smiled. “We cannot deny
that we are all made by God. We would not exist if we had not
been created by the same natural forces as every other creature
on this earth. Therefore, we must have a place in God’s creation.
But because we are also of humanity, we must have the same
choices. We must be able to choose to go against our primal
nature, one that humans have as well; to kill, to steal, to lie and
cheat. God has given us that choice as well. So I choose to
follow God’s wishes and put love, not hate, at the center of my
life.”
Raisa had moved closer to Carlisle as he was talking,
and he felt her interlace her fingers in his and kiss the back of his
hand. He stared at her, and she looked up into his eyes. Suddenly
she laughed. “I never thought I’d see fear in your eyes.” She
leaned forward and pulled his head down to meet hers, and their
lips met in a tender kiss. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her,
pressing her lips against his. She responded fully, bringing her
fingers up through his short blonde hair and deepening the kiss.
Carlisle pulled back, staring at Raisa with pained eyes.
Raisa looked back at him slightly confused, and then her
face melted back into an adoring smile. “Carlisle, do not worry. I
will be careful with you.”
Carlisle blinked and looked away for a moment before
he looked back at her with a slight crease between his brows.
“Raisa, I have been searching for so long for someone who

206
believes as I do…”
Raisa put a finger to his lips and whispered, “I believe as
you do, and I want to stay with you, always.”
Carlisle smiled down at her and then kissed her deeply.
She immediately began to pull off layers of his clothing. As they
pressed closer to each other, Carlisle discovered that his stony
skin was able to give against hers and her cold breath on his face
felt warm to him. Carlisle had never imagined that he might have
such a physical and spiritual connection with another person.
And in each other’s arms they felt they might never be lonely
again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One evening Carlisle and Raisa were in his rooms

discussing his musical education. Carlisle had a parlor, a
bedroom and bathing room, and a study that were connected by a
long balcony that looked down on the cloistered gardens. The
high ceilings were filled with sunlight during daytime hours and
he kept the giant crystal chandeliers lit all night. Carlisle’s
collection of art and personal belongings were scattered among
the rooms, and his father’s cross hung in a place of honor in the
parlor.
Raisa was almost completely uneducated, and they had
spent the years in Carlisle’s study and around Volterra
supplementing her knowledge, mostly by discussion and reading.

207
Music, however, was hands-on, and he was teaching her to play
the piano and the violin, often with his arms wrapped around her,
guiding her technique.
Suddenly, Raisa lifted her bow from the strings. “Do you
hear that, dearest?”
Carlisle turned his head and listened. “A crying child? In
the citadel?”
“Yes!” Her eyes were alight and she quickly deposited
the violin on the table and ran out into the long hallway, her
skirts flowing behind her as she ran.
Carlisle’s brow was furrowed. It could be only one kind
of child. “Raisa wait! I have to explain!” Carlisle caught up with
her swift feet just before she reached the main audience
chamber, where he knew the child was. “Raisa, listen to me. It is
not a human child; it’s what they call an ‘eternal child.’ Aro and
the Volturi have been systematically trying to rid the world of
these children. They are a danger.”
Raisa laughed. “Nonsense! How can a child be any kind
of danger?” She pushed open the large doors and found most of
the Volturi watching a small boy who was sitting in the middle
of the floor throwing a horrible tantrum. Raisa rushed forward to
the child and pulled him into her arms to comfort him. “But he is
a vampire!” Raisa exclaimed delightedly, cupping her fingers
around the child’s head and rocking him as he continued to
whine.
“He was made a vampire as a child.” Aro corrected, his

208
smile slightly dangerous.
“Aro, why did you bring another one here?” Carlisle said
angrily.
“Why, to study it, my dear Carlisle! We must learn as
much as possible; surely you can appreciate that! And look how
Raisa has taken to him!” Aro declared delightedly.
Carlisle’s teeth were grinding. “The decision was
unanimous! Why did you not destroy him with his family? Why
subject him to this inhumane treatment?” Carlisle was shouting.
He rarely shouted, and no one shouted at Aro. The entire
audience turned their faces to look at Carlisle.
“Kill him? Why on earth would you kill this child? Or
his family?” Raisa picked up the child protectively, and he was
becoming calm so he began playing with Raisa’s hair.
“My dear Raisa, the eternal children have no self-
control. They kill indiscriminately; they care nothing for
protecting the secret.” Aro sighed.
“Then why did you bring him here?” Carlisle raised his
voice again.
“I will train him.” Raisa said decisively, looking
lovingly into the boy’s face. Then she turned and left the
audience chamber.
Carlisle watched her go and then turned back to Aro who
was smiling wickedly. Carlisle narrowed his eyes at him.
“Jealousy does not become you, Aro.” The old vampire
continued to smile and did not reply. Carlisle turned and

209
followed Raisa.
Carlisle returned to his rooms and closed the door
behind him. Raisa was giggling as she played with the boy in the
middle of the room. Carlisle walked up to them and sat in a
nearby chair.
“I know what you are going to say, but we can do this,”
Raisa said without looking up at Carlisle.
“Raisa, when you touched Aro’s hand he instantly knew
everything about you. He knows your greatest wish is to have a
child again,” Carlisle put his hands on her shoulders, and his
voice was pained. “We must succeed in training him,” Carlisle
sighed.
She looked up at him and smiled, “Really?”
Carlisle nodded. “We will prove Aro wrong.”
Raisa jumped up and threw her arms around Carlisle.
Then she turned back to the boy. “Anton, come and hug your
father!”
The boy got to his feet and walked over to Carlisle. He
had very dark hair and enormous eyes like Raisa. Carlisle looked
down at the boy, who smiled up at him and opened his arms
wide, lifted them up toward Carlisle, and waited. Carlisle
reached out and put his hand on the boy’s head and smiled.
Anton smiled back but kept his arms out. Raisa giggled and
picked up Anton and put him on Carlisle’s lap; then he put his
head on Carlisle’s chest and did his best to wrap his arms around
Carlisle. Finally, Carlisle enveloped the boy in his arms and

210
closed his eyes. He could see in his mind the last eternal child
Aro and brought to Volterra twenty years before. And he
recalled the day Caius had determined she had to be destroyed.
Carlisle opened his eyes. “I have a plan.”
“What do you mean?” Raisa said as she smoothed
Anton’s hair.
“They have never tried feeding the eternal children with
only animal blood,” Carlisle whispered.
Raisa looked into Carlisle’s golden eyes and she smiled.
“I named him after my father.”
Carlisle nodded. “I know.” Raisa leaned forward and
kissed Carlisle.
Anton began to giggle. “Kisses!!” Raisa giggled too and
kissed Anton on the head. They were both determined. They
knew the price that would be paid if they failed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anton completely enjoyed the chase and the capture

inherent in hunting. He and Carlisle made a special game of it.
They would often end up gorging a little too much because they
enjoyed spending the time together. Anton was also a voracious
learner. His vocabulary expanded exponentially within months,
and five years later he was working with Carlisle on scientific
experiments and composing music with Raisa.
Except for hunting expeditions they purposefully kept

211
Anton away from humans and cloistered in Volterra. They
wanted to be certain of success before they tried anything that
could be dangerous because Aro was watching them so closely.
But Aro and Caius had other plans.
Felix came to the Carlisle’s apartments in Volterra one
afternoon. “One of the servants has cut her hand. We need
your…expertise.”
Anton looked up from his toys and his nostrils flared.
Carlisle looked over to Raisa, and with his eyes he told her to
keep Anton in the apartment. Raisa nodded at Carlisle. Then he
stood, picked up his bag, and ran out following the scent of
blood.
He arrived to find that the maidservant had actually
attempted suicide in the kitchens. Her veins were opened and she
was whispering a man’s name.
The head chef stood up when Carlisle arrived. “Please!
Please don’t take her! She was having an affair and it ended! She
thinks she wants to die, but she is young!”
Carlisle shook his head impatiently. “Why would I take
her?”
The chef looked at Carlisle warily. “They usually take
anyone foolish enough to spill their own blood.”
Carlisle frowned. The humans who worked in the
citadel, even in useless façades like the kitchens, were there
because they were paid exorbitant wages; but they knew only too
well who had ruled their city and kept it safe. The stories went

212
back thousands of years. Some wanted to stand at the cusp of life
and death, and some actually wanted to be vampires.
“I am here to help her,” Carlisle said brusquely, he did
not have time to discuss the matter. He picked her up, and put
her on the nearest table. He put a tourniquet on her bleeding arm
and then with quick, precise movements he began to sew the
vessels back together. The damage was not devastating, and if
she could survive the fever that would follow, she still had plenty
of blood. The chef watched with wide eyes as Carlisle sewed so
fast his hands were nearly a blur because he could hear Anton’s
footsteps and Raisa running after him.
Carlisle knew that Anton was too fast for Raisa because
he had seen him hunting so many times, but he had hoped that
Raisa’s strength would keep Anton away. Just as Carlisle
stopped the bleeding he realized that there was still blood
everywhere – on the floor, the table, his own hands.
Carlisle turned to the chef. “Clean up the blood! Find a
mop and some water!” Carlisle shouted. He began to clean up
the table and to wipe the blood off the girl, and then his excellent
hearing allowed him to perceive that Caius and Felix had
intercepted Anton, and that Raisa was screaming.
Carlisle stood and ran out of the kitchens as fast as he
could toward the hall where he could hear Raisa sobbing. He
found her on the floor, collapsed in the middle of her skirts, and
Caius standing over her. Felix and Anton were nowhere in sight,
because Caius had already burned Anton, and Felix did not wait

213
around to see Carlisle’s reaction.
Carlisle’s face was drawn. Caius’s face was completely
unrepentant. Carlisle knew the entire plan had been set up to
break Raisa’s spirit. But the moment Raisa had seen the boy,
there was nothing more Carlisle could have done to stop the
ingenious scheme. He walked over to Caius and stood toe to toe
with him while Raisa sobbed at their feet. Carlisle struck Caius
across the face, tossing him across the hall into the wall and
leaving a dent in the wood paneling. Caius coolly pulled himself
out of the wall, straightened his robes, and looked back at
Carlisle who was still standing defensively over Raisa. Then
Caius smiled viciously and walked away.
Carlisle waited until Caius was completely out of sight
and then gathered Raisa’s petite body in his arms and carried her
back to their apartment.
When he laid her on the couch she caught his arm.
“Carlisle,” she sobbed, “you still have blood all over you; it
burns my throat.”
Carlisle bowed his head and left to bathe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle immediately began making plans to leave

Volterra. Raisa barely reacted when he told her of his ideas about
where they should go. Three days later Carlisle returned from
hunting and found Raisa looking at the instruments in the

214
surgeon’s pouch that Aro had given Carlisle. When he walked
over to her, she lifted her head, stood up, and kissed him deeply.
Carlisle was so overjoyed to see her responding to him again that
he forgot what she was doing before they made love.
When they lay in each other’s arms she was stroking
Carlisle’s chest when she sighed, “Why have you not been
working in the local hospital?”
Carlisle looked down at her, but she was not looking at
him. “I have on occasion in the past, but when you came to me, I
had more important things to do.”
Raisa was silent for a few moments. “But, Carlisle, that
is your gift.”
Carlisle put a finger under her chin and turned her face
toward him. “You are the greatest gift. And you are all I ever
wanted.”
Her brows knit slightly. “No, Carlisle, I’m not. You’ve
spent most of your life searching for a way to save humans as a
vampire… to serve God.”
Carlisle was unsure where she was leading, but he did
not like that she did not include herself in that picture. “Raisa,
I’ve made my peace with God. All I want is to have a quiet life
and to work and live with humans. And I want to do that with
you.”
Raisa got up and pulled on a robe. She was facing away
from him again. “Carlisle, do you have any idea why I lived so
far from humans?”

215
 Carlisle closed his eyes. “Because you were afraid you
would massacre them as you did your family.”
“I cannot live around humans. I can barely control
myself around one or two. I cannot live around you coming
home every day smelling of the blood of your patients. I cannot
live like you do.”
Carlisle felt his throat closing up as he reached for her,
“Raisa, don’t – don’t do this!”
Raisa’s eyes were endless pools of emotion as she
looked back at him. “Carlisle, I know myself, and I know that I
do not have your control. And I want a family. I want it more
than – anything!”
Carlisle ignored the fact that she wanted a family more
than she wanted him, and he jumped from the bed to block the
door. “You cannot leave like this, Raisa! We will find a way;
we’ll have a family! You don’t have to live with me in the cities
–”
Raisa interrupted him before he got any further. “Live
separate lives? Carlisle, I want to BE with you!” She put an
ivory hand on his marble face. “You have a mission, a calling
that I can never truly be a part of. I would never try to take that
part of your life from you, and you cannot compromise who you
are to be with me, to give me what I want.” Her forehead
wrinkled as she whispered, “I love you, Carlisle. I will always
love you.”
Carlisle put his arms around her and with clenched teeth

216
he shook his head. “No, NO!” His body shook from tearless
sobs, “Don’t leave, please, don’t leave.” He locked her within his
iron arms and swore he would never let go until she agreed to
stay.
She pulled his head down to her and kissed him
passionately, so passionately he felt like his head was swimming,
and then suddenly he realized his arms were empty and he was
standing alone by the open door, completely naked both
physically and emotionally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle remained in his chambers, not moving. Aro

came to resume his role as Carlisle’s most frequent companion
and acted as if he’d had no part in Raisa’s departure. Carlisle did
not even acknowledge his presence. Aro became irritated and
eventually left.
More weeks passed. Carlisle did not go out to hunt; the
thirst began to gnaw at his insides, but he endured the pain. He
had not felt so hopeless since he was first changed.
One afternoon there was another knock at the door, and
Carlisle still did not move to answer it. The door swung open
and a vampire glided into the room, but Carlisle did not turn to
see who it was; he assumed it was Aro. He hoped it was Caius,
arriving to end his misery.
“You must move, Carlisle.” A deep, faint voice rumbled

217
from behind him. It was the voice of a vampire who had not
spoken outside his own mind in centuries.
Carlisle was so astounded he finally turned his head for
the first time in months because he realized that not only had
Marcus come to see him but that he also had something to say.
Then Carlisle’s brow creased, because when he looked at the
ancient vampire he could see in Marcus’s dead face his future. If
he allowed himself to become consumed by his loss, he would
turn to stone.
Carlisle turned his entire body toward the Volturi who
still stood just inside the doorway. “Marcus, tell me how you lost
your wife.”
Marcus did not move from where he was standing, and
did not speak. Carlisle waited patiently as the sunlight traveled
slowly across the floor and walls of his room.
Several hours later, Marcus spoke again. “My wife is
dead because of the nature of vampires.” Marcus’s dead eyes
looked back into the past beyond what Carlisle could hope to
understand, and then he went back further. “Our knowledge of
vampire history only reaches only as far as the memories of
others we have contacted can remember. We know that over
7,000 years ago there was an unexplained decline in the human
population in Europe, most likely due to disease or famine
because of changes in the position of the northern ice.
“The vampires were forced to move or starve, and over-
hunting reduced the human population even more, so the fighting

218
began over territory. Vampires migrated all over the world to try
to find new areas to feed and discovered there were already
covens of various sizes in every corner inhabited by humans,
even on the most remote islands. The newcomers to the southern
hemisphere entered into feuds with the older vampires, and that
conflict still rages.
“The vampires who stayed in Europe fought until around
5,000 years ago when the first Germanic coven dominated the
majority of the continent. They hailed from an advanced culture
of humans and brought with them a respect for order and social
responsibility unheard of among vampires at that time. Older
vampires were tired of fighting, and younger vampires were
more interested in peaceful survival, so the ruling coven amassed
their power and they began to grow arrogant. Their leader sat in
his halls of stone and did not move, ruling by exerting his will
through thought rather than deed, and eventually, after another
2,000 years, he turned to stone and never moved again.
“There was only one other in the coven whom the
remaining vampires would follow, but after the security of the
previous ruler, within a few hundred years others began to
question his absolute power. A cycle of infighting began, and the
Germanic coven fought only amongst themselves for the next
2,000 years. By that time, civilized vampire society as we know
it was already fairly well established so they did not need the
Germanic coven to rule as they had; and so few took notice as
one Germanic leader deposed another.

219
 “However, as human society became less stable and the
population changed again, we, the Volturi, were changed in that
time. The warlord who attacked Volterra took advantage of the
weakened power of the local governor and looted while he could
without consequences – until we were changed. We destroyed
him, set up a benevolent ruler in the city, and defended it against
vampires and any other attacks. Volterra flourished under our
protection, and we were able to choose which vampires were
allowed to stay, with the understanding that they would never
hunt within the city walls.
“Then Stephan and Vladimir, brothers changed by the
heads of two prominent factions, took control of the Germanic
coven and united the power of the north. Over the next 500 years
they ruled by ruthlessly destroying any coven that grew too large
and too powerful. As the Roman Empire began to fall apart
around us, the Germanic coven expanded their interests, and we
came under their scrutiny.
“We knew if we fought them we would lose, so Aro
devised a plan. We began to recruit. We sent out messengers to
our friends, reminding them of our respect for the laws and for
the opportunity of all vampires, and many came to fight with us.
The battle took place in the Alps, and there were thousands of
vampires involved. Over half of the vampires present died, and
mostly on the Germanic side. We were victorious because Aro
understood that if we were perceived as saviors, we might be
saved ourselves.

220
 “But unfortunately, as our rule progressed, our success
in keeping the order among the vampires caused us to believe
our own propaganda. And I, as natural leader of the Volturi
began a mission to ensure that the law was respected, with no
exceptions. Caius dutifully carried out the necessary discipline,
and Aro continued his campaign to solidify our image as the
protectors of vampire society, even expanding that image to
other continents.” Suddenly, Marcus stopped talking.
Through this monologue Marcus had not moved save his
mouth, and his tone had varied little. But when Marcus fell silent
he floated over and sat in a gilded wooden chair across from the
chaise lounge where Carlisle sat amazed. Now Marcus’s deeply
clouded eyes were turned upon Carlisle. Carlisle wondered if he
could actually see anything through the haze or if he simply
knew every single centimeter of Volterra so well he did not need
his sight.
Marcus pulled open his robes to reveal a deep, long,
jagged scar that crossed his chest like a fluorescent lightning
bolt. “A thousand years ago the Germanic coven attacked
Volterra. They killed humans and vampires without
discrimination. But they did not succeed. After a few centuries,
they tried again, focusing on the vampires. I was attacked and
separated from my Didyme, but when I had vanquished my foes
I found Aro standing next to the fire our enemy had started and
he was looking down at his hands.” Marcus bowed his head
slightly and closed his robes. “When I came close enough I saw

221
that he was holding a dismembered tiny white hand. He looked
up at me and showed me the hand – it bore my wife’s ring.”
Marcus looked back up at Carlisle. “In my grief, I began to see
what our society had done: we had replaced one ruthless empire
with another and simply expanded the blood feuds of the
southern continents to a larger scale. We were not more
enlightened vampires; my Didyme had taught me that true
enlightenment for a vampire was to love, not to dominate. I
stood by as Aro continued to dominate the vampire world.”
Marcus reached out and grasped Carlisle’s arm, and
Carlisle stared into his clouded eyes. “Carlisle, in my nearly
3,000 years, I have never seen a vampire so dedicated to living in
peace. It was not until you met Raisa that I felt that you are
capable of strong ties to your own kind, as deep as your
connection to humans. I know now that not only will you affect
the human world, but you will also affect vampires just as
profoundly.” Marcus’s eyes bore into Carlisle’s. “You must
leave Volterra. Do not stay with Aro. You must follow your own
destiny because that destiny may be – to change the nature of
vampires.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle and Marcus found Aro in the audience chamber

with Caius and half of the Guard. They were expected.
Aro stood and frowned at them as they approached.

222
“Marcus, there is something you have been keeping from me.”
Aro held out his hand and waited.
Without hesitation, Marcus stepped forward and climbed
the steps up to the dais where their trio of thrones sat. Caius
actually seemed slightly intimidated by how animated Marcus
was. Aro stood his ground, with his eyes narrowed and his hand
outstretched. “Not just you, brother, all of us. Caius, Carlisle, I
must measure all of your thoughts on this matter.”
In all of Carlisle’s years with the Volturi, Aro had never
asked to touch him. Perhaps he feared what he would find in
Carlisle’s mind or the effect it might have on him. Carlisle had
nothing to hide from Aro, so he stepped forward. Several of the
Guard shifted forward when Carlisle moved up onto the dais, but
Aro lifted his other hand. “Stop, dear ones. There is nothing to
fear.”
Carlisle stood next to Marcus, and Caius stood next to
Aro. Caius placed his hand on top of Aro’s, Marcus put his on
top of Caius’s, and Carlisle placed his on top. Aro’s fingers
curled around all three of them.
Instantly, Carlisle was pulled into Aro’s power. He could
hear his own thoughts speeding past his ears and could see his
experiences flying past his eyes. Then he heard in the faint
distance the thoughts of the Volturi. They were not in direct
communication with each other; instead, one-sided
communication with Aro caused the arguments to come all at
once in a mass explosion of thought. The Volturi simply knew

223
each other so implicitly that they knew every argument the
others would make, and each contradicted every angle the others
might present. Carlisle struggled simply to catch the thoughts as
they passed, and was able to guess mostly from whom they were
coming from.
He is a danger, he has always been a danger, he must be
eliminated…
I would leave with him if I could…
You will be more content with us if he stays to keep you
company…
We need him to solidify our power, his passion matches
my own, and his natural magnetism draws more power to us…
He will not solidify anything but his own following in
our midst and will breed dissention…
We are all more compassionate when he is present, his
power pulls the best tendencies out of everyone near him…
He will never be changed by you…
He carries too much guilt for his very existence…
We do not seek penance or forgiveness…
We do not seek peace either…
He will never feed on humans…
He will never be one of us…
He truly believes that vampires have a role outside of
destruction, that vampires are a natural part of the world…
If he stays he may have a positive influence on all of us,
and he may be able to positively influence the world through us,

224
we will be more compassionate rulers…
That is a lie; we will never be compassionate. We must
never fall for our own lies again…
We rule by maintaining order, through justice and swift
judgment; he has no place with us…
He will never fight for us; he is strong and fast, but he
locks his opponents in his grip and refuses to kill…
He respects our harmonious life, our pursuit of
knowledge…
Our existence is based on fear, locking ourselves inside
our citadel…
He will not last another hundred years…
He is stronger than the others were…
We will outlast him…
No, brothers, you do not seem to see beyond his death…
He will outlast us…
Aro suddenly broke the connection, releasing all of their
hands. Aro and Caius stared at Carlisle. Carlisle saw the same
fear that he had glimpsed only once before when they first met in
Carlisle’s apartment.
Carlisle stood tall as an oak, his eyes narrow and his
hands taut at his sides. Aro gave him another cryptic smile, but
Carlisle could see that a tiny edge of emotion was creeping into
his perfect mask. “Carlisle, I love you like all my dear ones. You
must stay with us, always.”
Carlisle understood perfectly what Aro meant. He would

225
not be allowed to leave while it pleased Aro that he should stay.
“Aro, as I’m sure you realize, I have no fear of my own
destruction. Therefore, you have no power over me. There is
nothing more I wish to learn from you. I prefer to gather my own
evidence and to draw my own conclusions.”
Felix stood poised and very nearby, awaiting his
master’s signal. But none came.
Aro lifted his chin, but there was now a measurable
sadness in his soft voice. “Compassion may drive you but it will
not help you survive the darkness of the human world.” Aro’s
frown deepened. “Farewell, Carlisle. I sincerely hope your inner
light endures long enough for us to meet again.”
Carlisle ignored Aro’s implied meaning. “Thank you. I
cannot fully express how much this experience has taught me. I
leave you in peace.” And he turned and left the marble chamber.
Carlisle left Volterra the following evening. Each of the
Volturi watched his carriages drive away from different windows
in the citadel. Aro dropped the curtain on the window in his
private chambers as Carlisle’s carriages vanished through the
gates of the city. Marcus’s words echoed in his mind. “He will
outlast us…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle drove away from Volterra with a new fire inside

him. Marcus had been right, and so had Raisa. He felt more

226
dedicated than ever to finding a way to live in harmony with
humans and with vampires. But the farther he got from the lights
of Volterra, the pitch black of the road ahead began to
overwhelm him. He was, once again, completely alone.

227
228
 ~~ END PART I ~~

! ""#!
! "$%!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
~~ PART II ~~

Chapter 12
1811

Chapter 13
1847

Chapter 14
1863

Chapter 15
1918

Chapter 16
1921

Chapter 17
1928

231!
 Chapter 18
1933

Chapter 19
1937

Chapter 20
2005

Chapter 21
2005

Chapter 22
2006

Chapter 23
2006

Chapter 24
2007

Chapter 25
2113

~~ EPILOGUE ~~

232!
~~ PART II ~~
The New World

233!
234!
 CHAPTER 12
~~1811~~

Carlisle looked up from his modest wooden desk and

lifted his nib pen from the notebook he was writing in. The
knocking on the door was persistent, never a good sign. Carlisle
didn’t need to push aside the heavy velvet curtain blocking out
all sunlight from the single window in his tiny office to know
that the day was fading and he had an appointment to keep. He
closed the notebook and locked it inside his desk. He would have
to find a way to make this unscheduled visit quick if he hoped to
arrive on time.
Carlisle opened the door and greeted his visitor, a young
man in his twenties of average height, with slick black hair.
“Good evening, Samuel. I have an appointment at seven. I trust
this will not take long?”
Samuel did not smile. “We have another one you’ll want
to see, Carlisle.”
Carlisle looked up at his colleague, and frowned. “When
did the body arrive?”

235!
 “She wasn’t a body,” Samuel shook his head. “But just
like the others her blood was drained. We tried to transfuse her,
but we think the blood we gave her hastened her death.”
Carlisle’s brow creased and he shook his head. “You
must mix the blood of the patient, and the blood of the donor for
at least two minutes before you transfuse!”
“Carlisle, trust me, we didn’t have time.” Samuel’s eyes
were pained. “She was fading very, very fast.”
Carlisle nodded and picked up his coat and hat from the
stand. “Show me the body.”
They walked to the morgue deep in the bowels of the
hospital. Samuel shivered, and Carlisle pretended by pulling his
coat tighter.
Samuel unlocked the door and led Carlisle to the second
autopsy table. Carlisle could smell the vampire who had bitten
the girl, but did not recognize the scent. Whoever it was, they
were new to the area. Carlisle was already acquainted with all of
the vampires of the territory. Nearly all of them were migrated
old world vampires; only a few were humans transformed while
already living on New World soil. So, either one of the older
vampires had made a new vampire, or an unknown element had
moved into the area.
He frowned as he examined the wounds. The local
vampire covens would not appreciate being put in danger by
such carelessness. He was now twice as glad for his
appointment. If someone had made a new vampire, they were not

236!
taking responsibility for it. The community needed to be
informed.
“Thank you for bringing this to my attention.” Carlisle
nodded to Samuel.
“It’s been months since we had one of these. Whatever
you are doing with your investigation into these cases, it’s saving
people like this,” Samuel said earnestly.
Carlisle nodded, looking to the floor. “Well, my friends
and I know how to handle the… stranger murders.”
Samuel cocked his head. “Carlisle, my great-great-
grandfather started practicing medicine here over one hundred
and sixty years ago. These kinds of deaths ebb and flow, but they
have always been here.” Samuel sighed. “Others have taken an
interest, but no one has actually used their fortune to send men
go to the streets to fight for these people.” Carlisle glanced up at
Samuel and saw only admiration, no fear. Carlisle did not shy
away from Samuel’s knowing gaze, but he did not give Samuel
anything more to feed his suspicions. “Shall I send her for
burial?” Samuel said quietly.
“Yes. I’ve seen all I need to see. Please make sure I get a
copy of the autopsy file number so I can refer to your report
later.” Then Carlisle waved and walked back up the stairwell and
out the front hallway nodding to the night watchman as he left.
He stepped outside and the purple dusk sky streaked
with clouds tinted orange greeted him. Carlisle put his hat and
coat on against the frosty November evening, and turned to his

237!
right, walking quickly due west toward the Charles River.
Carlisle had arrived in Boston twelve years before and within
two years was studying at Massachusetts Medical College of
Harvard University. When the college moved to Marlborough
Street seven years later Carlisle was offered an associate
professor position, but he taught only one class at the college
because he spent most of his time at his office helping set up the
new Massachusetts General Hospital.
Carlisle was attracted to the project with some of his
former classmates and professors because the hospital was
conceived to care for the poorest residents of Boston. Carlisle
was reminded of Santo Spirito in Rome, and brought his
expertise in setting up the programs of care. He also worked in
the pathology department as an investigator of mysterious deaths
like the one Samuel had brought to him that afternoon. Because
the poor could not pay for police investigations, Carlisle was
often their only hope. As a result, Carlisle saw most of the deaths
which were obviously due to vampire feeding. And he was on
his way to meeting the friends who helped him make sure that
feeding never got out of control.
Carlisle walked through the Charlesbank Park toward
the river, enjoying the evening lights across the water. Though
most of the people had gone home at sundown, there were still a
few carriages driving through the park with their oil lanterns
alight, and some scattered chatter nearby. Just as Carlisle sat on a
bench his companion appeared next to him and sat down

238!
gracefully. “Good evening, Siobhan.” Carlisle said with a slight
smile and took off his hat.
Siobhan was a six-foot tall, voluptuous, stunningly
beautiful woman. Her fiery red hair was pulled back into a neat
bun, covered by a fur-trimmed hat. She also wore a fur wrap
over her high-necked, long-sleeve emerald green gown which
was a stark contrast to her bright red eyes. “Good evening,
Carlisle. So what shall we discuss this evening?”
Carlisle sighed and looked out over the water again. “We
appear to have a rather careless hunter.”
Siobhan scoffed. “None of the Irish clan would be so
imprudent.”
Carlisle nodded. “I did not recognize the scent. It must
be someone new to the area, or one of our own has been making
new vampires.”
Siobhan frowned. “No one has added to their clans since
we arrived nearly forty years ago. You are the most recent new
resident. The only reason why we accepted you is because you
do not threaten our food supply.” Siobhan chuckled.
Carlisle turned to look directly at Siobhan. “The female
victim I saw tonight was attacked so negligently, she was not
even dead when she was found.”
Siobhan grumbled, “That is unacceptable. It must be a
migrating sewer rat.” Carlisle turned away and nodded as he
unconsciously adjusted his cravat. Siobhan regarded him
sympathetically, her eyes drifting momentarily over the edges of

239!
the livid scar that still peeked just above his stiff high collar. “Do
not worry, Carlisle. We will stop this before he changes anyone
against his or her wishes. We are definitely of the same mind on
that topic.”
Carlisle turned back to Siobhan. “Is Garrett still in town?
He would be a great help in the search.”
Siobhan shook her head. “He decided it was time to see
the country again.” Siobhan sighed. “I miss my own countryside.
I remember running over the hills and along the shore as a little
girl. I will return someday.”
Carlisle smiled. “I could always take you on a hunting
trip...”
Siobhan laughed. “Always a thoughtful gentleman, but
my answer is still no. I will go back when the time is right. In
fact, I should tell you the next chapter in my little Irish
runaway’s story…”
Carlisle lifted an eyebrow. “You are still following her?”
Siobhan sighed and rolled her eyes. “Do not tease me.”
Carlisle could not suppress his smile. “Careful, Siobhan,
you may start feeling something for this girl.”
Siobhan sniffed. “She is a fellow Irishwoman. I take an
interest in protecting my sisters. Even if they are still – mortal.”
Carlisle turned toward Siobhan. “You’ve influenced her,
haven’t you?”
Siobhan rolled her eyes again. “Carlisle, you don’t know
what you are talking about.”

240!
 Carlisle shook his head. “Siobhan, since she arrived with
her family from Ireland and they were all killed by the pox, she
has survived starvation, four Boston winters and untold abuse on
the streets. You think that your gift has nothing to do with that?”
“I wish only that – she survives a little longer. Besides, I
think she has a few instincts of her own that are keeping her
safe.” Siobhan lifted a brow.
Carlisle blinked. “Really?”
Siobhan smiled. “She was getting her meal at the soup
kitchen and one of the child slave labor masters approached her.
He promised her a warm bed, three meals, and pay. Even though
the deal was clearly too good, he had an honest face, and a very
engaging demeanor; but she saw right through him, and ran
away. I took care of him that night,” and she smiled viciously,
“just to be sure he wouldn’t bother her again, of course.”
Carlisle sighed and nodded. “Of course.”
Siobhan stood up. “I will encourage the others look for
the sewer rat, and in exchange, I want you to memorize her
scent.” Siobhan produced a single, curly red hair. “If she comes
to you, I want you to let me know.”
Carlisle took the hair, sniffed it and he nodded. He stood
and held out his hand, Siobhan laid her hand on his and he kissed
the back of it. “Always a pleasure, my lady.” Then he placed his
top hat back upon his head and she winked and disappeared as
only a seasoned vampire can.
Carlisle lifted his chin and sniffed the night air and

241!
found not a hint of the vampire he was seeking or the little
redheaded girl Siobhan was watching. He took the opportunity to
walk at human speed back to his brownstone house on Louisburg
Square which he had bought when he’d arrived from Europe.
The neighborhood accepted him as a younger son of a genteel
British family, and asked no more questions when his accountant
evaluated the wealth he had amassed over more than one
hundred and fifty years.
When Carlisle reached his door he unlocked it and was
greeted by his newest housemaid, Mary Christine. “Good
evening, Dr. Cullen. Are you not working tonight, sir?”
Carlisle handed her his top hat and smiled, “I have a late
shift at the hospital. I’m just stopping in to change.”
Mary seemed disappointed. “I wondered if you’d ever
stay in from the dinner club and let me make you a home-cooked
meal.”
Carlisle chuckled, “I don’t pay you to cook for me, I’d
never impose.”
She sighed, “You pay me enough to clean and wait on
you hand and foot, sir. I don’t feel right about it, to be honest.”
Carlisle smiled. “I don’t like people to be unhappy
working for me, and I find if they are happy they stay with me
longer.”
Mary was forced to smile finally. “Oh, don’t you worry.
I’ll stay after you marry, and run after all of your children and
grandchildren, Doctor.” Carlisle’s smile faded a little, and he

242!
looked away. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Did I offend you?”
Carlisle turned back, but did not look her in the eye.
“Not at all, Mary.”
Mary backed away slightly. “I’m sorry, Dr. Cullen. Your
family is none of my business. It’s not my place.”
Carlisle turned toward the stairs again. “I’ll go and
change now, Mary.” He walked up the stairs and heard Mary
muttering to herself in the parlor about how such a young,
handsome, wealthy man should find a wife and settle down. But
she also said thoughtfully that he was a bit too sad, and a young
man ought not be so melancholy, for he was too young to have a
broken heart.
Carlisle went to one of his locked cabinets and opened it.
He found what he was looking for in exactly the place he had
packed it over a decade ago before he left for America. He
pulled out the papers, set them on the mantelpiece and then
retrieved his violin.
The cheerful song flowed from his strings as his bow
floated lightly through the stanzas, and Mary stopped making
noise downstairs as she listened, which reminded Carlisle of
Herr Koller’s servants listening to them play in Vienna. The
single-movement piece ended almost too quickly. Carlisle leaned
against the mantelpiece and stared at the music for several
minutes, then quickly picked up the pages and tossed them into
the fire. The last gift Raisa had given him, one of her many
compositions, was now reduced to ashes.

243!
 Carlisle changed to his work suit and left without saying
goodnight to Mary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few months passed without many epochal

moments. Carlisle continued to work, teach, and meet with
Siobhan on a bi-weekly basis. There were no more strange
killings, and Siobhan’s “pet” continued to survive the brutal
streets of Boston. The weather turned colder, and the gray skies
hung low as winter took hold, and Carlisle was able to go outside
a lot more during the daytime.
One afternoon Carlisle decided to go for a walk across
the common and enjoy the daylight hours. He didn’t see nearly
as much daytime as he had in Volterra, and he liked to take
advantage of it when the opportunity was there.
Carlisle swept his gaze across the snow-covered ground,
delighted in the crunching sound his boots made in the fresh
snow, and with his vampire eyes he relished every unique
symmetric pattern in each snowflake that fell before his eyes. It
was a very light drifting, floating snowfall that seemed to take
forever to reach the ground and muted much of the noise of the
city that surrounded him and cleaned the air.
Carlisle lifted his chin slightly and took a deep breath,
then his eyes snapped open and he turned his head to the right.
He heard a sound just as he caught the scent. He ran as fast as he

244!
could in daylight. He turned down the alley, and found the
crumpled body. He turned her over and actually watched as the
last of her life drained from her eyes. The stench of the vampire
he had been searching for months was all around. Carlisle looked
for a sign of the vampire, and saw nothing, but could already tell
the vampire had left by running down the alley in the opposite
direction Carlisle had come from. Carlisle now cursed the
daylight. He had lost the vampire and the girl because he was
running at a human pace.
Carlisle’s anger pulsed through him, and with a heavy
heart he laid the girl down again, and vowed to return and
retrieve her body properly. He had to pursue her attacker because
no one else could. He ran down the alley and lifted his nose
again. He turned right and ran down the street. The vampire was
not far ahead of him, he could feel it. Carlisle began to assess the
situation around him. Despite the snow and the chill there were
humans walking everywhere. It was four in the afternoon. The
street was full of carriages. However, the vampire knew Carlisle
was coming; and he had slowed to a walk. Within minutes,
Carlisle reached out and put a vice-like grip on the vampire’s left
arm and pulled him forward. “Keep walking,” Carlisle hissed
into his ear.
The vampire did not respond. He simply did as he was
told. They walked in silence until Carlisle found a small café and
then he led the vampire to a table in the corner and sat him
down. The vampire did not look up at Carlisle’s hard amber

245!
gaze. His blood-red eyes stayed on the table. The waitress came
over to them and took Carlisle’s hat and coat, but the other
vampire did not move. When the waitress shot a questioning
glance at Carlisle, he gave her a slight smile, “Bring us two
brandies, please.” His smooth, soft voice clearly pleased her and
she happily walked off to procure his request.
Carlisle turned back to the vampire. “What is your
name?” The vampire did not respond or move. “Do you know
who I am?” No response. “Do you understand that you have
moved in on a territory that is held by vampires who will stop at
nothing to drive you out if you continue to kill in daylight and
recklessly leave corpses behind?” The vampire nodded.
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed. As he had been speaking, suddenly his
own anger was ebbing away, and he began to put together a
picture of what was really happening.
The vampire was distraught. Carlisle could feel it. His
affect was completely disconnected. He had run away from
Carlisle at first, but then he had given up. He was aware he was
not following the rules. Something was desperately wrong.
“What happened to you?” Once again, no response. And then
Carlisle dropped in the last piece of the puzzle. The first girl was
still alive, but she was dying. “I saw the first girl. My staff tried
to save her at the hospital.” The vampire lifted his eyes for the
first time, and Carlisle saw what he expected, anguish. “She died
before I saw her.” The vampire’s eyes dropped to the table again
as he shook his head.

246!
 The waitress arrived in that moment with their drinks,
and Carlisle paid and tipped her generously. She looked for an
opportunity to linger, but Carlisle did not give her one so she
reluctantly walked away.
“I failed,” the vampire whispered.
Carlisle sighed, “You failed to change her.”
The vampire nodded. “I left her at the hospital. I didn’t
have enough control to do it.”
Carlisle put a hand on his face. “So now, by killing in
daylight are you trying to get the Boston vampires to kill you, or
the Volturi?”
The vampire looked up. “Who are the Volturi?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No one. Where did you come
from?”
“North,” he said dejectedly.
Carlisle leaned forward. “Why did you try to change
her?”
The vampire lifted his eyes and they stabbed into
Carlisle’s as he said with exquisite pain, “I am alone.”
Carlisle’s sympathy for this vampire suddenly
overwhelmed him, and he had to look away because he did not
want to expose himself completely to this stranger, even if they
were feeling exactly the same emotions. But as Carlisle looked
away, the vampire jerked back slightly as a wave came off
Carlisle.
The vampire looked back at Carlisle. “What was that?”

247!
 Carlisle shook his head. “I really don’t know.”
The vampire realized that the wave he felt from Carlisle
was definitely not malicious, and his eyes fell. “You aren’t here
to kill me, are you?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No. You need to leave or the
Boston vampires will kill you.”
The vampire put his head in his hands. “If you won’t
even help one of your own kind, why didn’t you just leave me
be??”
Carlisle sighed. “Please, leave the city. I am your last
warning.”
The vampire stood and with stooped shoulders walked
dejectedly out of the café. Carlisle stared down at the untouched
brandy. He sat there for nearly an hour and barely moved. When
he finally stood to leave the waitress handed him his hat and coat
almost immediately and smiled at him. Carlisle was unable to
conjure much more than a half-hearted attempt to return the
smile, and left.
He walked back to the body of the girl and found her
covered in a light dusting of snow. She was already half frozen.
He could not carry her across the common yet; it was still
daylight. He returned to the hospital and waited until he and the
staff could discreetly retrieve the body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

248!
 “Carlisle, if you don’t start listening to me I’m going to
leave,” Siobhan said impatiently.
Carlisle looked over at her and frowned. “Siobhan, have
you ever seriously considered changing a human?”
Siobhan looked a little annoyed at the change in topic,
but smiled. “Of course.”
Carlisle lifted his brows in surprise. “Really?”
Siobhan regarded him sympathetically again. “Carlisle,
we were not all changed as you were. I wanted this life.”
Carlisle accepted that statement because he knew she
was being honest with him, even though he could not relate to it
at all. “And, do you still want it when the loneliness sets in?”
Siobhan chuckled. “I will let you know when my coven
leaves me completely alone. But I plan to find one to change
before that happens.” She smiled at Carlisle. “I’m waiting for my
little runaway to grow up. Then I’m taking her back to Ireland.”
Carlisle’s brows lifted again. “You’re going to change
her?”
Siobhan nodded sincerely. “She won’t last if I don’t, and
I can see it in her eyes. She’s a predator, and she wants to live, to
survive. She will make a perfect vampire.” Siobhan looked at
Carlisle as he looked away while she was speaking. “You
disapprove?”
Carlisle shook his head. “I don’t think I can do it, I can’t
change a human.”
Siobhan sighed. “Carlisle, I think you should.” Carlisle

249!
gave her yet another astonished look. “If you don’t, I’m not sure
you will ever find anyone who can truly follow you.”
“Follow me?” Carlisle’s brow creased.
Siobhan laughed out loud. “Yes, follow you. You live so
differently, I’m not sure that anyone can live up to that unless
they are with you… from the beginning.”
Carlisle tried to imagine biting a human, and could
barely get past that horror. Then he tried to imagine feeling their
pulse slow, their muscles fail, their resistance weakening and the
light fading from their eyes. Then suddenly he was overwhelmed
with the memory of the pain of his transformation. Carlisle dug
the heels of his hands into his eyes and then stood up suddenly.
“Good night, Siobhan.” He quickly walked away without
looking back. Siobhan watched him go. Carlisle was one of her
favorite vampires, but she had never met a more tortured man.
Carlisle walked up to his front steps, but a scent stopped
him. He hadn’t smelled that scent in almost thirty years. “Come
down and say hello properly, Eleazar.” Carlisle smiled and
turned around as Eleazar landed like a cat in front of him.
Eleazar gave his friend one of his trademark large grins, and
embraced Carlisle like a brother.
Carlisle shook his head. “I never would have believed
that the Volturi would come for such a small problem. The
trouble-maker has already been dealt with.”
Eleazar lifted a brow. “I have no idea what you are
talking about. I left the Volturi about ten years ago.”

250!
 Carlisle could not stop his jaw from dropping slightly,
but pure joy swelled within him. “How?” Then Carlisle caught
the new scent. “Who is with you?”
A tall, slender female with deep black curls barely
contained in a large bejeweled hair net, and wrapped in a yellow
gown and fur coat casually walked up to the two men and also
grinned at Carlisle, as Eleazar tucked her under his right arm.
“Carlisle Cullen, I’d like to introduce you to Carmen Flores of
España.”
Carlisle bowed and Carmen held out her gloved hand.
Carlisle kissed the back of it. “It is an honor, Señorita.” Then as
Carlisle looked back up into Carmen’s face, he saw that Carmen
had dewy golden eyes. Carlisle looked back at Eleazar and
realized that he too had the same amber glow in his irises.
Carlisle’s mouth turned up into a smile. “It appears you have a
story to tell me.”
Eleazar’s smile faded. “We do, Carlisle, but first, I must
give you some news.” Eleazar looked to Carmen for strength,
then he turned back to Carlisle and put a bracing hand on his
shoulder. “My friend, Raisa is dead.”

251!
252!
 CHAPTER 13
~~1847~~

Carlisle opened the private car door and stepped inside

the train to Unalaska. Eleazar and Carmen were not back yet
from hunting so Carlisle walked over to the far window of the
train car and slid the glass open. Even after thirty years of
traveling across the continent with his companions, the vast,
untamed beauty of the Canadian wilderness never ceased to
render him completely speechless with awe. The European
countryside was unlike any other, but the sheer scale of North
America frequently caused Carlisle to sit and stare with wonder
until one of his friends reminded him to blink. Outside his
window the evergreen trees went on for miles, the eagles
swooped and dove overhead, the salmon jumped in white river
water, and the cries of so many different kinds of wildlife filled
the wilderness with a symphony of sound. Carlisle also watched
every town they passed and often jumped off the train to
investigate any scent of a vampire. He was just returning from
one such detour after easily catching up with the train.

253!
 Carlisle took his atlas out of his suitcase and wrote a few
more notes at the approximate latitude the train was passing. The
newly formed animal-feeder coven was traveling across Canada
in search of others like them. Even though his stop in the village
they had passed did not reveal any vampires, Carlisle was filled
with anticipation as they got closer to their destination. Carmen
had found a vampire in San Francisco who had encountered an
entire coven of vampires who only fed on animals, and they were
now on their way to try to find them.
Their investigation had been mostly disappointing and
confirmed what Eleazar had found in Europe during his time
with the Volturi: most vampires who switched to animal feeding
eventually gave up on it, and vampires in general completely
avoided mixing in human society. There were exceptions but
they were few and far between. In addition, there was at least
one case where the vampire they were looking for disappeared
without a trace, which Eleazar had seen twice before. They had
eventually found his house deep in the wilderness, but it had
been abandoned for at least a decade.
In San Francisco they had their first breakthrough when
Carmen met one of the animal-feeder coven’s conquests.
Carlisle’s confused look at the word “conquest” made her laugh.
“It seems they love not only vampire men, but human men as
well. So they don’t feed on them. But it was a vampire who
noticed our eyes and told us of this coven. They are a bit of a
journey from here.”

254!
 Without hesitation, they began the journey north as soon
as their fortunes were secured with Wells Fargo. Carlisle had
saved the daughter of the San Francisco branch vice-president in
a near-tragic delivery. Carlisle’s steady hands and calming
influence resulted in a healthy baby boy and the mother survived
and was well enough to return to public life within four months.
Her father pledged his eternal loyalty to Carlisle and assured the
party that their assets would be well guarded while they were
traveling.
Carmen returned to their train car while Carlisle was
sitting next to the window and writing in his atlas. “Writing,
writing, writing! Always writing, my Carlisle!” Carmen laughed
as she brushed snow from her shoulders and hair. “Most of your
luggage is full of books of your writing!”
Carlisle smiled and kept scribbling. “Most of yours are
full of your paintings, my dear.”
Carmen laughed. “Touché, my Carlisle! I wish you
would write me some more music. I love to dance with Eleazar
to your compositions.”
Carlisle chuckled. “Next time I am inspired you will be
the first to benefit.”
Carlisle had never known a more contented period in his
vampire existence. With friends to travel with Carlisle could
work and relax and life was full and happy. He did not count his
fifteen years with Raisa. He tried not to think of that at all.

255!
 In Boston Eleazar had told Carlisle that Raisa had
returned to her home in Siberia and assumed that because she
was so far from both human and vampire civilization that she
could do as she pleased. She created an eternal child.
Unfortunately, Aro was still bent on revenge and sent his best
tracker, Demetri, after her. As soon as he discovered Raisa and
the child, Caius descended with several members of the Guard
and disposed of them both.
Raisa knew what she was planning to do would have put
Carlisle in danger, and she would never have allowed that. She
had been trying to push Carlisle back toward what she knew was
his mission in life, but she was also trying to protect him from
her gamble. In the end that was what mattered most to her; he
had to accept that.
Eleazar and Carmen knew that they had devastated
Carlisle with the news they brought, and they insisted that he
accompany them. It took five years for Carlisle to extract himself
from all of his commitments in Boston, and even then the Boston
coven protested his departure. Siobhan was very sad to see him
go. But she soon transformed her “pet,” Maggie, and they left for
Ireland right after Carlisle finally departed from Boston.
“I sincerely hope we meet again, Carlisle,” Siobhan said
with a smile. Maggie’s red curls bounced as she threw her arms
around Carlisle.
Carlisle hugged Maggie back and smiled at Siobhan. “If
you wish it, Siobhan, I’m sure it will come true.”

256!
 Siobhan rolled her eyes, but then laughed a hearty Irish
laugh. “Be careful up north, your thin British blood may not be
able to handle the chill six months into winter.”
Carlisle chuckled. “Safe travels to you both.”
The newly formed coven of animal-feeders moved up to
the frozen and eternally cloud-covered latitudes of Canada. The
hunting was unparalleled, and living in such sparsely populated
areas made life easier for Eleazar who was learning quickly how
to control his instincts, but still needed a wide berth. Carmen had
a few more years experience than Eleazar, but her demeanor was
so calm that she handled the stress and pain of exposure to
humans with composure that impressed Carlisle.
Eleazar met Carmen on a trip back to his home in
Seville. She had suffered since she was a child from a blood
malady which made her constantly fatigued and her skin turn
yellow. When one of Eleazar’s original coven tried to feed on
her he found her blood so distasteful he stopped feeding before
she died. Her heart was weak from her long illness but she
survived. When she awoke from her transformation and
discovered for the first time in her life she was whole and
healthy she embraced her vampire life. Her adventurous soul had
been confined for twenty years to her private chambers painting
the scenery outside her window, but now the world was open to
her.
Her happiness, however, was short-lived and she quickly
became disturbed by feeding. She experimented with feeding on

257!
animals, and found she had a natural gift for control around
humans, but the other vampires of the coven tried to convince
her that their way was the natural way. She went back to feeding
on humans but the tone of her paintings betrayed her distress.
When Eleazar returned to visit the coven, seventy-five
years after Carmen was changed, the elders told him of their
troubled new vampire. Eleazar and Carmen were distantly
related through the same noble family though they were five
hundred years apart, and both were educated and cultured. They
also connected over their dissatisfaction with feeding on humans
and their burning attraction.
Carmen accompanied Eleazar back to Volterra but
Eleazar soon discovered what had happened to Carlisle and the
subsequent murder of Raisa. Those offenses in addition to
centuries of revulsion for the manner in which the Volturi upheld
the law that he passionately believed in caused him to finally
throw his Volturi necklace back at Aro. When Felix tried to bar
the exit Eleazar smiled.
“Do you know how I sense the abilities of vampires,
Felix? When I am close to a gifted vampire I absorb a sample of
their power. It’s just a small sample, but it is enough for me to
feel what it is like to be that vampire.” Felix looked uncertainly
at Aro as Eleazar grinned broadly at him. “Do you recall what it
felt like, for example, when Carlisle would push his power
outward?” Then Eleazar lifted his hand and unleashed a small,
focused wave of power at Felix. It was just enough to disorient

258!
Felix and allow Eleazar and Carmen to escape. Eleazar swore to
Carlisle that he heard Aro laughing until they were miles outside
the city. Eleazar had also sampled enough of Demetri’s tracking
ability to get a sense of which part of the world Carlisle had
moved to.
Now Eleazar walked into the train car with a troubled
expression marring his chiseled face.
“What is it mi amore?” Carmen placed a tender kiss on
his cheek.
Eleazar looked at Carmen and then at Carlisle. “Some
days are easier than others, but I am starting to get worried.”
Carlisle sighed. “Eleazar, as I have told you hundreds of
times, you have the strength, it is more about finding the will.”
Eleazar shook his head. “No, Carlisle,” he whispered
very quietly, “I am worried that there is more going on here. I
am worried that Aro has been disposing of the animal-feeders.”
Carlisle was completely shocked. “For thousands of
years? Complete genocide?”
Eleazar shrugged, “That is their policy against the
eternal children. Why not us?”
Carlisle shook his head, “Because the eternal children
are a threat. Animal-feeders are not a threat. They can’t be, there
are so few of us!”
Eleazar nodded, “I see your point, but what other
explanation could there be?”

259!
 “I don’t know, Eleazar, but we will keep on looking for
answers.” Carlisle put a hand on Eleazar’s shoulder and then
forced a smile. Carlisle also had a strange new feeling growing
in his gut that he could not identify. The closest he could come to
describing it was: fear.
“My boys should relax! The coven will be there. They
were seen as recently as two years ago. They were happy and
healthy. They will be there when we arrive.” Carmen smiled at
both of them and leaned over Carlisle and flipped through his
atlas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They traveled by train all the way to Unalaska, and then

they went north by carriage. The territory had been settled by
Russian fur traders since the 1730s, and there were small
settlements dotting the main trail.
They were barely 100 miles away from Denali when
they decided to stop to hunt. Carlisle was just finishing off a deer
he had captured when he heard a giggle behind him. He knew
instantly it was not Carmen’s laugh. Suddenly, he felt an iron
grip on his throat and slim arms and legs encasing his body in a
deadly grip.
“Who are you? Why have you come here?!” The
vampire hissed angrily.

260!
 “We came here seeking a coven which feeds only on
animals,” Carlisle said calmly with his hands up, making no
move to resist her hold.
She tightened that hold causing Carlisle to grunt against
the pain. “You were sent by Aro, weren’t you?”
“No, we weren’t. We are not with the Volturi.” Carlisle
could hear Eleazar and Carmen approaching cautiously. “My
two companions are here; please, let me introduce them. They
will not hurt you.”
The girl lifted her nose and sniffed the air. “You are all
animal-feeders?”
“Yes. That is why we came to find you. I do not know
what the Volturi did to you, but I can assure you, we only
wanted to meet you.” Eleazar and Carmen appeared then just
behind Carlisle and approached slowly. “This is Eleazar and
Carmen.”
Carmen stepped forward. “We mean you no harm,
Señorita. Were we rightly informed? Are you alone or do you
have a coven?”
The young girl finally released her hold on Carlisle. She
stood next to him, and was at least six inches shorter than the tall
vampire. She had long curly strawberry blonde hair, was lean
and clothed in fur-trimmed pants and a long parka. “My name is
Tanya. I came to meet you alone because I had to find out who…
I was so sure only a Volturi could exude such…” Tanya shook
her head and stared at Carlisle.

261!
 “…Power.” Eleazar finished her sentence. He smiled
kindly as she turned toward him and nodded. “Carlisle
confounds all of us, even the Volturi,” Eleazar could not
suppress a chuckle.
Tanya turned to Carlisle, her eyes wide with wonder.
“You defeated Aro?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No, I am not a warrior. I do not
wish anyone harm.”
Tanya looked a little dazed and took a slight step
backward, and then looked toward Eleazar, who nodded. “I felt it
too. Our Carlisle does not realize how he affects the rest of us.”
Tanya looked at Carlisle with wonder. “I haven’t felt
anything like you since Aro.”
Carlisle looked back at this young woman with
sympathy. “When did you face Aro?”
Tanya grimaced and recoiled slightly. Carmen stepped
forward and put a gentle hand on the woman’s arm. “We can
discuss this later. May we meet the rest of your coven? We
would like to get to know all of you.”
Tanya gave Carmen a slight smile. “Come with me. I left
them without any indication of where I was going. They will be
worried if I’m gone much longer.”
The house was situated a few miles from the nearby
town of Denali. It was three stories tall and had very steep gables
to keep the snow from collecting on the eaves, was surrounded
by very tall pines that nearly obstructed the view from the road,

262!
and warm firelight glowed in the windows as they approached.
They were met just inside the entry hall by two perturbed female
vampires. But when Carlisle walked into the hall they seemed to
understand.
“This is Carmen, Eleazar and Carlisle.” Tanya
announced with some pride. “I met them in the forest because I
thought they were coming for us.”
Carlisle smiled. “We are delighted to make your
acquaintance.”
The smaller sister with chin-length silvery blonde hair
eyed Carlisle suspiciously, “So then you are not from…”
Carlisle put up a hand, “No. Eleazar and I both spent
time in Volterra and we know Aro. But we are NOT Volturi.”
“Then why did you come to find us?” The third sister
had the longest straight blonde hair and put an arm around her
sister.
Eleazar bowed slightly to the sisters. “We are all animal-
feeders. We have been searching the country to find others like
us. You are the first we have found.”
The sister with the long straight hair looked back at
Eleazar then to Carmen and Carlisle. “I am Katrina, and this is
Irina. Please, excuse our apprehension. When you hear our story
you will understand.” Her eyes swept over to Tanya and she led
Irina over to the couches in the parlor. The others followed, and
Tanya and Carmen sat on the second couch, while Carlisle and
Eleazar stood by the fire.

263!
 “There have been others?” Tanya whispered as she
looked back at Carlisle.
Carlisle regarded her sympathetically. “Well, right now,
we are the only ones that we know of. Most of the others have
disappeared.”
“Disappeared?” Katrina said sadly.
“How long have you abstained from drinking human
blood?” Eleazar said.
None of the girls answered immediately, but Tanya
eventually looked up. “Nearly three hundred years.”
Carlisle’s eyes became wider. “You have had no human
blood in three hundred years?”
“Well, really only exclusively for the last one hundred
and fifty. We came to this conclusion slowly. It started with our
mother.” Irina said, but then Tanya and Katrina stared at the
floor.
Carlisle knew instantly they had touched a nerve and
looked at them sympathetically. “What happened to her?”
Tanya appeared too upset to tell the story so Katrina
looked at Carlisle and explained. “She changed all of us in
Slovakia over five hundred years ago. We all traveled together.
We built this house and enjoyed the travelers and humans we
found. Over time we talked more and more about our feelings for
the human men we were taking. Then our mother told us about
how the vampires in the wastelands of the north subsisted on
animals in times when humans were scarce. We decided to try it.

264!
We found that we could control our thirst when we fed on
animals, and still enjoy men without killing them.”
Then, Katrina’s face darkened. “But one day our mother
started leaving us for extended periods of time. When we asked
her what she was doing she said she was merely investigating
some reports of activity by the Children of the Moon. We were
all frightened by the possibility of werewolves in the area, but
she said she was taking care of it, so we did not ask for more
explanation from her. Until… they came for her.”
“Why? What brought them here?” Eleazar whispered.
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed.
Irina continued the story. “They came without warning,
demanding to see her. She had returned that morning, and they
kept shouting, ‘Where is the child? Where is the child!?’ Finally,
she led them across the snow to another house she had
constructed, one which we had never seen. Inside was a child
vampire.”
Carlisle leaned against the mantel and looked away from
Irina. Tanya watched Carlisle’s body language and realized he
knew how the story ended. “You have seen this before?” she said
quietly as her voice hitched.
“A very dear friend of mine.” Carlisle nodded, his voice
heavy with pain. Tanya stood up and put her arms around
Carlisle and laid her head on his chest and they took comfort in
each other.

265!
 “Aro and Caius were tracking the Children of the Moon
across Russia and into Alaska. Our mother had found the child in
a caravan that had been attacked by the wolves. He was dying, so
she transformed him. And then, Caius found them. We watched
them burn,” Kate said with a flat tone. Tanya hid her face in
Carlisle’s shirt. Carmen stood up and sat between the other two
girls and pulled their heads to her shoulders.
Eleazar sat down on the couch Carmen had vacated and
shook his head. “We learned about the death of our friend years
after it happened. We are very sorry for your loss.”
The girls all looked at Eleazar. Tanya finally let go of
Carlisle and looked up at him, then at Eleazar and Carmen. “You
are all welcome to stay as long as you wish.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Denali Coven was older than Carlisle, but younger

than Eleazar and Carmen, who easily fell into older sibling roles
for the young girls, though Tanya remained the head of the
household. Tanya was eighteen, and Katrina and Irina were both
seventeen. Eleazar was twenty-one and Carmen was twenty.
Carmen in particular became quite attached to Irina, and soon it
was clear that the bonds forming among the animal-feeders were
growing stronger than they had expected. Carlisle theorized that
they were free from the emotional baggage of bloodlust, and that

266!
made their relationships easier and more tied to affection than
convenience.
Soon the Denali coven extended a permanent invitation
to their visitors and Eleazar and Carmen declared they wished to
stay. Carlisle, however, was more reserved. He knew that the
girls all cared deeply for him, especially Tanya. Tanya was in
awe of Carlisle, but he very carefully kept her at a distance.
Carmen reassured him, “You make her feel safe. She thinks of
you as an older brother.”
Carlisle appreciated how much they all wanted him to
stay, but something inside him also was pulling him away. Tanya
confronted him in the study one evening. “Why must you go?”
Tanya asked him sadly.
Carlisle looked up at her narrow golden eyes and sighed.
“I’m not sure I can explain to you fully my connection to
humans. I feel compelled to help them.”
“There are humans here that need your help.” Tanya said
somewhat petulantly.
Carlisle smiled. “I appreciate that, truly. But there is
some kind of sickness that is taking hold in the nearby villages. I
can feel that there is a serious tragedy coming. I must go, soon, if
I am to help them.”
Tanya looked over at Carlisle with wide eyes again.
“You’re doing it again.”
Carlisle bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry, I don’t even
know what I’m doing.”

267!
 “It’s okay, Carlisle, I think I needed to feel that again
from you to remember. You really are meant for more than
hiding in the wilderness with us.” She put a hand on his arm.
“Just promise you won’t forget us.”
Carlisle took her hand in his. “You are my only family,
Tanya. I will think all of you every day.”
The following week, the coven got word that people in
Denali were dying. Carlisle left immediately to help at the local
clinic and found that it was a respiratory illness that led to
pneumonia and death by sepsis within a few days. When Carlisle
returned to the coven they knew it was to say farewell.
“Please come back soon.” Tanya sobbed openly.
“I promise.” Carlisle hugged her back. Every coven
member embraced Carlisle in turn; Eleazar was last.
“My friend, I wish you would reconsider. But I know
you won’t.” Eleazar could not muster up one of his characteristic
grins, but forced a sad smile.
Carlisle put a hand on Eleazar’s shoulder. “You have
been my one true friend, Eleazar, since I was changed. And you
also are my oldest friend, by over one hundred years.” That got
them both laughing, and they hugged as brothers. Carlisle
smiled. “We’ll meet again soon. I’m not planning to leave the
continent anytime in the near future.” He turned to Tanya and the
others. “Check your post at the Denali Office. I will write.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

268!
 Early one afternoon Carlisle rode into a small port about
800 miles north of San Francisco. His horse was getting tired,
and Carlisle needed to wash his clothes. It had taken a couple of
months for him to ride about 2,500 miles down the coast with
stops along the way to warn the settlements he passed about the
coming epidemic. It had not spread very far into Canada yet, but
he had seen a few cases as he rode south following the coast.
Carlisle checked into the local hotel and then inquired
about any physicians in town and found that, as usual, there was
only one. Sometimes there were none for miles.
When Carlisle told his harrowing tale to the local
physician he looked sadly back at Carlisle. “Doctor Cullen, the
plague you are talking of is already in Port Angeles. Trains move
faster than you on your horse.”
“Where is it concentrated? Where have there been the
most deaths?” Carlisle said anxiously.
“There’s a small settlement a few miles west, at the fork
of the Quillayute and Bogachiel rivers. I know the physician
there, Worthington is his name. I’m sure he needs help, but I
have a family, Doctor Cullen. I can’t go there right now.”
Carlisle nodded sympathetically at the man’s conflicted
expression. “I’m thankful you are able to go, but be careful,
Doctor. There are a lot of Indians in that area.” Even though he
was talking to an over six-foot tall, muscular man he still felt the

269!
need to warn Carlisle. Carlisle thanked him and coaxed his tired
horse to ride west.
When he arrived at the settlement he saw a small
wooden sign with neatly painted letters that said “River Forks.”
Carlisle smiled to himself. It had a practical ring to it. The sign
was set up just outside the main strip of tiny crude shops. Some
were hastily constructed with freshly cut wood, and some were
merely tents. Most of the shops were just as practical as the
name of the small settlement and sold fishing and camping gear,
fixed wagons and offered grain alcohol.
Carlisle stopped at the first sign that said
“Dentist/Surgeon/Physic/Opium.” He walked into the tiny
wooden shack, which was actually in better condition than most
of the shops. Carlisle was immediately aware of the bloodstains
that streaked the floor and pooled by the table in the corner. He
could even perceive the smell of recent death. The building
appeared to be deserted, but Carlisle could hear a human
breathing slowly in the back room. He was asleep.
“Hello? Is anyone here?” Carlisle called loudly enough
to wake the sleeping man. A few seconds later a man of average
height, in his early forties and balding, stumbled through the
doorway, pulling his suspenders up as he walked in.
“What is it? Has something happened at the clinic? I just
laid down a few minutes ago…” He was mildly irritated, but was
clearly concerned that something had happened in his absence.

270!
 Carlisle bowed slightly. “My name is Dr. Carlisle
Cullen. I’m here to lend you a hand.”
“Oh, my God. You’re joking?” A look of pure relief and
joy grew in the tired man’s face.
Carlisle nodded. “I followed this epidemic down from
Denali and the peninsula. I’ve been trying to warn settlements on
the leading edge, but it seems it has already passed me. I heard
you have been hit hard.” Carlisle said with great compassion.
The small man stepped forward and eagerly grasped
Carlisle’s hand. “My word, you’re frozen through. I’m James
Worthington, born and educated in Madison, Wisconsin. Come
with me to the hotel; let’s get you a room and a warm meal and I
will tell you what has happened.” They started walking and
Carlisle untied his horse as James talked. “The first case was
brought to my attention a week ago. It was an older man who
was panning in the rivers, and he said he was at the saloon when
a traveler came in for a shot of whiskey and sneezed on him. The
next day he had a high fever, and a cough. Two days later, he
was dead from pneumonia, and I had three more cases. In just
this week ten have died, and two have recovered. I have ordered
that all contact with natives must be avoided, no trading, because
we have caused deaths among the natives before with these
epidemics.” They had tied Carlisle’s horse at the hotel and
entered the small establishment. It was two stories and had ten
rooms. At the front desk the manager greeted them with a smile.
“This is Doctor Cullen,” Worthington informed him with some

271!
relish. “He’s here to help with our crisis. Give him your best
room at one-third price, please.”
The manager seized Carlisle’s hand. “Thank you for
coming, sir. I’ve kept my wife and daughter at home, I’m so
worried.” He smiled. “I’d take your coat but you are still
freezing from outside. Here is your key, you are room two at the
top of the stairs.”
“We are going for a quick meal and then to the clinic
tent,” James said to the manager quickly.
Carlisle shook his head. “I actually ate while I was
riding in, let’s drop my packs and go now.”
James led Carlisle to a double tent with fur insulation to
keep the patients warm. It was the end of February, so there was
no snow on the ground but the winds were frigid and
unforgiving. There were seventeen patients at that moment, and
three were clearly dying. Their lungs were full of fluid, and
Carlisle was certain one lung had an abscess. Carlisle drained the
pus, but he found another two hours later. It was clear that he
would not find all of the abscesses, and the patient died that
night.
As Carlisle carried the man to the nearby graveyard he
heard a horse approaching from miles away. But the hoof sounds
were not coming from the road, but from the wilderness. When
Carlisle got back to the clinic tent, the horse neared the camp,
and Carlisle realized who it was. He rushed forward.

272!
 “Stop! Please! We have an emergency here! You will
become ill if you don’t leave!” Carlisle ran toward the horse but
then realized that not only was there a native American chief
riding the horse, he was carrying an ill child. “My God, the
illness has reached your village?”
The chief stared at Carlisle. Carlisle wondered if the
chief spoke English. “Do you understand me?”
The chief’s eyes were now wide, and he lifted a finger
and pointed at Carlisle. “You are… a Cold One!”
Carlisle’s jaw dropped. It had been decades since anyone
had even come close to recognizing him. He put up his hands
and put on his most sympathetic face. “Listen to me, please. I am
a physician. I help humans.” Then he whispered, “I only feed on
animals.” The chief stared at him, and held the child close to
him. “Please, let me help you. You may stay with the child the
whole time. Stay and witness what I am doing here. Please.”
The chief stared at Carlisle, and Carlisle recognized the
expression that people got when they were feeling the effect of
his powers, but the chief was not frightened. He actually seemed
a little calmer. He put the child over his shoulder, and then
swung his leg over and dismounted his horse. He would not hand
the child to the Cold One, but he was willing to follow Carlisle
into the tent.
The chief never allowed Carlisle to be alone with his son
while they stayed in the clinic. He observed everything Carlisle
did, and he did not sleep for the two days it took for the child to

273!
recover. The child liked Carlisle and played peek-a-boo with him
every time Carlisle passed the bed. The boy did not know
English and they taught each other many words and phrases. The
chief looked on somewhat approvingly, but did not participate.
When they finally left on the third day Carlisle handed the boy
up to his father. The chief still frowned at Carlisle, but nodded.
“Thank you, Cull-en.”
The boy waved. “Good bye, Cold One!” The chief
hushed his son and then turned the horse back toward the tribe
lands.
Carlisle waved until the little boy turned toward the
direction they were riding. He dropped his hand and took a deep
breath of relief, but there were so many unanswered questions.
How had the chief recognized him? What vampires had the
tribes encountered who had revealed themselves to them? And
even more intriguing, why did these tribesmen smell different?
Carlisle had had contact with other races and people, but humans
for the most part smelled the same. This chief and his son
smelled… different. Carlisle had one more concern: he had been
recognized, and the chief now knew his name. Carlisle was
certain he was flirting with breaking the rules. He smiled slightly
thinking of Caius’s ire. Somehow, however, Carlisle did not fear
that the chief was going to expose him, or even spread word of
what he had seen.
When Carlisle finally left, after the epidemic had passed,
Carlisle realized what in impact this small place had had on him.

274!
He rode along the coast and breathed in the salty ocean spray and
looked up at the tree line, marveling in the beauty of the
enormous eagles overhead.
The epidemic spread east, however, and after concluding
his affairs in San Francisco he took the railroad east and began
his first trip across the United States of America.

275!
276!
 CHAPTER 14
~~1863~~

Like most vampires, Carlisle took little notice of the

daily drama of human politics because the climate changed so
rapidly without any meaningful lasting effects. However, he was
acutely aware of any political events that increased the suffering
of humans, especially war. He had considered trying to serve in
the military once or twice as he became more and more attached
to his adopted country, but he could never find a way to do it
without putting himself in situations that would surely lead to
exposure.
Suddenly, however, Carlisle found himself completely
enamored with national politics with the election of Abraham
Lincoln. It was the first time he had actually voted because he
had never seen a politician who seemed so dedicated to reducing
human suffering. Carlisle found it tragic and providential that
Lincoln was elected just in time for a war. Carlisle was living in
Fairfield, Pennsylvania, and working with an older physician
who was heading for retirement at the local hospital. Dr.

277!
Finnegan was always talking about Lincoln, and drew Carlisle in
with stories of Lincoln’s speeches during the 1858 debates.
“I never read a speech that explained so perfectly the
definition of human dignity. That man was sent by God.” Dr.
Finnegan would often get misty-eyed, and with good reason. His
son was an officer with the Army of the Potomac, and was now
embroiled in the conflict of the Eastern Theater. Finnegan was
very close to his son, and was taking care of his son’s wife and
five boys during his absence.
Carlisle was known as the “albino” doctor, which helped
make sure that he would not be expected to go outside during the
daytime, or serve in the military. The story also helped feed the
general feeling that he was an outsider, which unfortunately
isolated him but also kept probing minds at a safe distance. The
Finnegan family, however, embraced him because of how much
he was helping the older doctor serve the community which was
desperately in need of health care while most of the local
physicians were at war. They did find the fact that he refused to
eat meals with them a bit strange, but appreciated that he was
perfectly amiable, and the Finnegan boys adored him.
Over the years Carlisle had developed a bit of an
aversion to children, especially after his experiences in Volterra.
Human children, in addition, needed too much physical contact,
they asked awkward questions about his cold skin and amber
eyes, and they were not always convinced by his explanations.
However, children were also honest, and saw things for what

278!
they were; and they all knew that Carlisle was a good person,
and were drawn to him because they knew he would empathize
with them.
Finnegan’s oldest grandson was a quiet, highly
intelligent seven year-old, and he would often come and observe
his grandfather as he worked. Finnegan was certain that young
Alexander would follow in his footsteps, and he took the boy
under his wing.
“My son is a very charismatic man,” Dr. Finnegan
mused. “He is outgoing and lively, but Alexander is not. He is
more like his mother. I think sometimes he is really intimidated
by his father. He knows his father is a good man, but they do not
relate to each other at all.” Thus, Alexander spent many hours
around his grandfather and Carlisle as they worked.
Carlisle liked Alexander’s inquisitive nature and innate
ability to understand the human body. He would often instruct
Alexander on pathophysiology of disease.
“Were you a teacher before, Doctor Cullen?” Alexander
asked one evening.
Carlisle smiled down at his young student. “Why do you
ask?”
Alexander shrugged. “You are patient, and you explain
things very well. You remind me of my teacher, before he left to
fight.”
Carlisle’s smile faded as Alexander frowned and looked
away. “It will be okay, son. This conflict cannot last forever.”

279!
 Alexander looked back up at Carlisle. “Will you stay if
my dad doesn’t come home?”
Carlisle smiled again. “Alexander, I have my own family
up north and they have asked me to return home when the war is
over. I cannot stay forever.” Alexander nodded but he looked
away and pulled his lip in. Carlisle assured him, “While I’m
here, you can come to me whenever you need anything that your
mother or your grandfather can’t help you with.”
Alexander looked back at Carlisle and nodded with a
small smile. “I hope my father gets to meet you.”
Carlisle smiled again. “I hope so too.”
The spring of 1863 came and went and the summer
months became oppressively hot and dry in Pennsylvania. The
war raged on, and Dr. Finnegan was constantly reading the
newspapers for any shred of information about the status of the
battles. As his obsession for searching for news deepened,
Carlisle took on more responsibility, and the hospital staff
depended on him more and more for leadership. In late June he
found Dr. Finnegan looking out his office window at his
grandsons playing in the grass outside the hospital. “Lee is
headed straight for us. There will be a battle near here, and
troops in our lands.” He turned to Carlisle, his eyes full of tears.
“The war is on our doorstep. We are about to get very busy.”
On the morning of July 1st the skies opened up and the
boys were nervous because they were hoping for good weather
for Independence Day; but the entire town was thankful for the

280!
rain quenching the thirst of their summer crops. Alexander was
reading in Dr. Finnegan’s office and Carlisle was quietly
working on his charts while the storm thundered outside. But not
even the thunder could drown out the sound of cannons. Carlisle
looked up from his paperwork in the direction of the fire. It was
west of them, and about ten miles away. His gaze slid over to
Alexander, and the boy was already staring at him with wide
eyes. He understood exactly what was going on.
Carlisle took Alexander’s hand and started down the hall
to find Dr. Finnegan, but Finnegan found him. “Dr. Finnegan!”
he called the moment the other man was in sight, “I’m going to
drive Alexander home!”
Finnegan shook his head. “No Carlisle, trust me, this
hospital is now the safest place for Alexander to be, and with
cannon fire so close, I wish my entire family was here. Come
with me. We must prepare for the wounded who are about to
land in our beds.”
The staff moved all of the beds in the ward to
accommodate dozens of patients on the floor. Sheets were torn
into bandages. All of the surgical instruments were cleaned.
Aro’s instrument set was about to be put to good use.
Alexander was given water duty, walking around with a
bucket and ladle, giving water to any patients or staff who were
thirsty. “But I want to work for YOU!” he said to Carlisle in a
determined voice.

281!
 Carlisle shook his head as he knelt down to look
Alexander in the eye. “I will be in surgery, son. That is too
bloody and too disturbing for you to imagine. Please, do this
task, it is an essential thing, and everyone you give water will
thank you.” Alexander frowned and his lower lip was jutted out
slightly, but he finally nodded.
One hour later the wounded began to arrive, and
eighteen hours later Carlisle had been operating for the entire
time. The nurses had switched shifts twice on him already. He
knew he could go for days, and he fully intended to make sure
that as many of the soldiers as possible did not lose their limbs.
His vascular surgery techniques were far more advanced than
any of his colleagues in town.
One of his patients was struggling as Carlisle tried to
repair a femoral artery injury, and his assistant was trying to hold
the leg steady and the tourniquet tight. “HOLD HIM DOWN!”
Carlisle barked over the patient’s screams. Carlisle thought of
Moreau and he smiled slightly as his fingers deftly threw the
stitches faster and faster.
Suddenly, he heard a tiny gasp behind him, and Carlisle
turned. “Alexander! You should not be here!” The boy’s eyes
were wide as he took in the scene of the operating room, then he
turned and ran away. Carlisle immediately turned back to his
patient, and finished the repair. He would go and find Alexander
when he was able.

282!
 Another eight hours later, Carlisle finally left the
operating room. He had saved eighteen patient’s lives, and
twelve limbs from amputation, and operated for over twenty-six
hours before he allowed the less experienced relief surgeons to
fix the lacerations and some simple bullet extractions.
Carlisle used his sensitive nose to find Alexander hiding
in a linen closet sound asleep. Carlisle gently lifted the slim little
boy and carried him to his grandfather’s office. As Carlisle laid
Alexander onto the small couch in the corner his eyes fluttered
open.
“Are you mad at me Dr. Cullen?” Alexander whispered.
Carlisle shook his head. “No, Alexander, I could never
be mad at you. But, you shouldn’t be in the operating room when
I am working.”
Alexander frowned. “I wasn’t scared. I wanted to help
you.”
Carlisle smiled at Alexander’s brave frown. “I promise
that when I need help that you will be the first person I ask.”
Alexander looked up at Carlisle and smiled, then
nodded. “Okay.”
Suddenly, there was gunfire very nearby and Carlisle
pulled Alexander off the couch and flipped it over, shoving
Alexander underneath it. “Listen to me! Stay in this room, and
don’t come out from under here unless your grandfather or I
come and get you, do you understand? Don’t talk to anyone
else!”

283!
 Alexander’s eyes were wide with fear but he nodded just
as there was another burst of gunfire. Carlisle got up and ran out
into the hall. Dr. Finnegan was headed toward him. “There is a
union convoy under attack! They are less than a mile from here!”
Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder, “Keep everyone
calm in here. I will make certain no harm reaches the hospital.”
Carlisle was headed for the entrance when a union
soldier with a head wound came running inside. “Our lieutenant
was hit! We need help to get him to the hospital!”
Carlisle called back to Dr. Finnegan, “I’ll take the
wagon! Keep everyone inside!”
Carlisle and the soldier drove through the pouring rain
toward the conflict but could not even get close with the wagon
and had to leave it behind a farmhouse. The group covering the
injured lieutenant was behind the farm’s barn under heavy fire.
The soldier was completely at a loss as to how to reach his
comrades.
Carlisle could see that there was no other way; he was
going to have to retrieve the wounded officer himself. “Soldier,
cover me, I’m going to go and get your lieutenant.”
“Doctor, are you a former soldier?” the young man said
nervously.
“Just cover me, and don’t shoot me!” Carlisle
immediately ran at his top human speed across the field toward
the barn. The confederate soldiers got off four shots as he ran
and Carlisle easily dodged all of them. The stunned men watched

284!
Carlisle assess their commander right on the field. The lieutenant
had a slow bleed, but the larger problem was that a bullet had
shattered his humerus. Three other soldiers had been killed.
Carlisle looked up at the three remaining men. He could not
leave them there.
One by one he ran each of the exhausted soldiers,
through mud that pulled their boots off their feet, from the barn
to the farmhouse while the group behind the barn fired steadily.
When the last man jumped into the wagon with Carlisle, the
soldier who had come with him from the hospital whipped up the
horses and they escaped. The other union troops involved in the
nearby skirmish retreated and the confederates claimed the road
at Fairfield, but the shooting ended.
The men were all tended to at the hospital. Alexander
brought food and water to the traumatized men. Carlisle went
directly to surgery and tried desperately to save the lieutenant’s
arm, but the damage to the bone was far too extensive. When
Carlisle finally moved the lieutenant to recovery, he went to
check on Alexander and found him happily helping bandage
some minor wounds on some of the soldiers. When Carlisle
appeared they stood up and saluted him.
“Thank you,” said one of the men who had been pinned
down by the barn. He was barely older than sixteen.
Carlisle frowned. “If it weren’t for you, your lieutenant
never would have made it.”

285!
 Alexander was smiling broadly up at Carlisle. He could
see in the boy’s eyes a shine that he had never seen before.
People had looked at Carlisle with awe, wonder, fear and hatred
at various times, but never before had Carlisle seen anyone look
at him with pure love and admiration – except Anton. He was
assaulted by the memories of his long buried love for his first
son and he stood there stunned for a moment. Carlisle had held
Alexander at a distance, never allowing himself to even dream of
being a father-figure, but he realized that he already was. He
finally reached out and patted Alexander on the back. Alexander
smiled.
Two weeks later Carlisle was working an afternoon
shift, when Alexander arrived with a tall man in an impressive
union uniform. Carlisle instantly knew who the man was and
finished up his task so he could go and greet them.
He finally met them in Dr. Finnegan’s office and
extended his hand to Alexander’s father. “It is an honor to meet
you, sir.”
Commander Finnegan flinched slightly at Carlisle’s cold
hand, but shook it firmly. “James Finnegan, and the honor is
mine. Alexander can’t stop telling me stories of working with
you and my father.” He had a very smooth, deep voice, and was
clearly proud of his son. He was perfectly cordial, but could not
hide his jealousy of the time Carlisle was spending with his
family.

286!
 Carlisle decided it was time for a well-placed lie.
“Alexander speaks of you constantly. He has been looking for
your return every day.”
Commander Finnegan smiled at Carlisle and knew he
was trying to make him feel better. “Do you have a family, Dr.
Cullen?”
Carlisle’s brow creased as his memories took hold again.
Then he shook his head. “No.”
Commander Finnegan looked over at his son who was
playing with his grandfather, and he sighed. “Having children is
the most heartbreaking experience of your life.” He turned back
to Carlisle. “You would give your life for them, but you may
never really know them, and they may never really know you.”
Carlisle’s cold heart ached slightly watching the
Commander’s eyes.
He stayed in Fairfield until the end of the war and then
when some of the doctors who went to war returned to resume
their practices he decided to go back and visit Denali. Alexander
could not hold back the tears as he hugged Carlisle good-bye
with his father looking on. “Dr. Cullen, thank you for taking care
of us.”
Carlisle knelt down and looked at the child’s tear-stained
face. “Alexander, you have been the best assistant I’ve ever
had.” Alexander managed to smile. “And you have been a very
good friend. You have to help out your grandfather and your
father too. You have a lot of responsibility. Make me proud.”

287!
 Alexander nodded, “Yes, sir.”
The entire time he was in Denali Eleazar noted that
Carlisle’s despondent mood could not be broken. Carlisle
realized that he was really wasn’t still grieving for Anton and
Raisa. He was not ready to be a father when he was with them,
and the bizarre idea of fathering a child who would never grow
up had made him regret that Raisa ever became attached to
Anton. But he had buried his guilt over those feelings with his
grief when they were gone. His friendship with Alexander had
been different, and left him in anguish because for the first time
he desperately wished that he could be a father. And because of
the biologically stagnant reality of being a vampire, he never
would be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1911~~
Carlisle sat at his small wooden desk in the corner of the
main ward of Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus. He had
started the job two years before with an old classmate from
Dartmouth Medical School just after they finished residency
together, but this was the beginning of his last month in town
because he was planning to move to a less sunny climate. He
was tired of working mostly nights and wanted to see daylight
again. He had accepted a position in Chicago, and anticipated a
few more cloudy days there.

288!
 The start of the evening had been rather busy. There
were several victims of a mill factory accident that required
emergency surgery. Carlisle’s speed and precision with his hands
had saved the lives of two men. The other physicians had always
been a little stand-offish because they were constantly in awe of
his skill, but they were also naturally unaware that he had been
practicing for about two hundred years at that point and had done
over one hundred and thirty thousand surgeries: everything from
suturing wounds to neurosurgery. So, his old classmate from
Dartmouth, who knew his eccentricities better, was the only one
who he associated with with any regularity.
The last few decades Carlisle had allowed the darkness
of loneliness to seep in a little. He did not try to change his
melancholic manner because as a defense mechanism it had
helped keep most humans at bay, which protected his identity.
The change in his personality had bothered the Denali clan, and
they were worried about him. Eventually Carlisle had tired of
their attempts to lift his spirits and he had left again. He decided
that it was time to update his education and landed in Dartmouth,
and then Columbus.
With the early evening crisis past, a quiet calm had
settled on the hospital. People were carrying out their duties, and
the nurses patrolled the rows and halls like sentries. Despite the
strict discipline of their ranks, they never failed to linger by the
desk of the mysteriously attractive doctor if he dared to not look
completely occupied for even a moment.

289!
 Carlisle had not quite gotten used to the change in
decorum between human men and women that had come with
the turn of the century. As human social rules shifted over many
lifetimes he’d had to constantly readjust his behavior. The
expanding independence and public consciousness of twentieth
century women impressed Carlisle to no end, but he was
increasingly unsure about social boundaries. He sometimes
became quite flustered with how to handle some women’s
aggressive advances. Their behavior sometimes reminded him of
eighteenth century French noble women who were free to treat
men of lower rank as they wished. Now, however, women of any
rank were willing to approach him and he’d realized that over
time that he had actually had very little practice in speaking to
human women who were not patients. He had met a few
daughters and mothers of his human acquaintances, known only
a handful of female vampires, and had almost never had an
extended conversation with an un-chaperoned human woman.
Carlisle was gradually learning how to talk to women
much less formally, and with that practice he had been recently
reminded how apparently impressive his presence was. Carlisle
had always known that women were attracted to him, but he’d
recently observed that if he used his smile at opportune
moments, women’s heart rates would climb and he could ask
them to do anything for him. He recognized this as a significant
power, and very carefully reserved it for special needs, and only
for things that benefited the patients. He never had any intention

290!
of using people for his own benefit, so he kept a very careful
distance between himself and the women he worked with. Some
women appreciated his “traditional” style, which he merely
thought was respectful; but he observed that not all men kept as
respectful a distance as he did. This particular hospital had
relatively young nurses, and many times he had heard their heart
rates go up if he simply entered a room. Before he realized they
were reacting to him he’d felt like he was constantly asking the
nurses if they were all right, concerned they were becoming ill.
They also whispered about him quite a bit, and with his excellent
hearing he knew exactly how they thought about him. He found
it somewhat disconcerting.
Carlisle pretended at his desk to be checking over notes
from the previous shift, but some of the nurses were drifting
closer, so he closed his charts, and decided to take a walk before
they realized he was reading a blank sheet of paper. Just as he
stood up, however, a very young nurse ran up to him.
“Dr. Cullen!” She blushed slightly when she said his
name.
He gave her a small, careful smile, “Yes, Nurse Fallon?”
She turned a deeper shade of red, “I…um, I have a
patient for you. She broke her leg on her family farm two hours
ago, and her father just drove her in.”
Carlisle dropped his charts on his desk. “Was it a femur
or a compound fracture? How is her blood pressure?” He
motioned for her to lead the way.

291!
 “No, doctor, she actually does not appear to be in very
much distress. It looks like a simple tibia fracture, but she’s
already quite swollen so I can’t be sure.” Nurse Fallon grinned
broadly at one of the other nurses who squinted and frowned
back at her.
Carlisle followed her to the examination rooms and
pulled back the curtain indicated.
A middle-aged gentleman stood nervously holding his
hat in one hand, and in the other hand he held the small white
hand of his teen-aged daughter. She had long tumbling golden-
brown curls, a heart shaped face, large blue eyes, and a wide
smile that betrayed her youth. Carlisle was quite surprised to see
that she was actually smiling.
The middle-aged man nodded to Carlisle. “Doctor, my
name is John Platt, and this is my daughter, Miss Esme Platt.”
Carlisle nodded back. “Mr. Platt, Miss Esme, my name
is Dr. Cullen. I was told Miss Esme has a broken leg, but I
confess I am surprised you don’t appear to be in pain.” His
eyebrows were high with wonder at her demeanor.
Esme giggled. “I think Father is in more pain than I. But
I do have a bit of a twinge in my left leg.” She pointed at the leg.
The left corner of Carlisle’s mouth turned up but he
resisted the smile. “And how did this happen?”
Mr. Platt seemed too nervous to speak so Esme squeezed
her father’s hand and continued. “I was trying to retrieve my
parasol.” Carlisle’s expression was obviously dumbfounded

292!
because she laughed again. “Father bought me a new Sunday
parasol for my birthday. It is made with French silk, and when I
was doing my chores, I opened it to scrub off a dirt stain, and the
wind blew it up a tree. It might have fallen out on its own, but
well, honestly, I’d been looking for an excuse to climb that
particular tree for a while…”
“Esme!” her father chided.
“Father thinks I am not being ladylike.” She smiled
again at her father. “Anyway, once I got the parasol dislodged, I
tried to jump down, and sort of… fell out of the tree instead.”
Carlisle’s jaw hung open slightly as he listened,
imagining the scene, and then suddenly, perhaps because of her
self-effacing story, or her light and amused manner, he found
that he could not stop himself from chuckling. Her father’s eyes
became wide with alarm, and Carlisle glanced at him, and then
back at Esme who started giggling too, and that was enough to
send Carlisle into an out-loud laugh. Soon they were laughing
together, and her father finally could not help but smile.
Nurse Fallon had been standing there during this entire
exchange, and was so shocked to see Dr. Cullen laughing so
spontaneously, that she was instantly seized by a burning
jealousy. She had never seen anyone even manage to amuse Dr.
Cullen, much less amuse him to the point where he genuinely
laughed.
“What would you like to do, Dr. Cullen?” She said a
little shortly.

293!
 Carlisle was not quite done laughing, but the nurse had
called him to order, so he chuckled while he said, “Well, I need
to have a look at the leg, and we may need an x-ray if we are
unsure of the bone placement, but we’ll splint it and keep you
overnight, then send you home tomorrow morning, because…
well, it’s too late to drive home now.”
This was not entirely truthful, but the father seemed
relieved to not have to take care of the broken leg alone that
evening, and nodded. “Whatever you think is best, Dr. Cullen.”
Carlisle smiled at him, and was satisfied that this funny,
young girl would be around for a little while longer. “Miss Platt,
would you please show me your broken leg?”
Her father turned around, to avoid seeing his daughter’s
ankles, and she stuck her left leg out from under her voluminous
skirts. It was quite swollen, but there was no visible or palpable
compound fracture; it did seem, in fact, to be a simple tibia
fracture. He was impressed by how she controlled her breathing
and heart rate, as he knew he was causing her pain when he
probed the area around the fractured bone. She was not only
cheerful and funny, she was also strong and brave.
“My, your fingers are cold! But I confess it is helping
with the pain.” She sighed.
Carlisle smiled again. “I think I’d like to get an x-ray
just to be sure. Nurse Fallon?” The nurse hurried off to retrieve a
gurney. Carlisle looked back at Esme and smiled. “So I hope
there are no other trees you are looking to climb?”

294!
 She smiled again. “No, doctor. I’m sixteen and Mother
says I’ll never find a husband up a tree.”
Carlisle laughed out loud again. He had been up a tree
that very afternoon looking out for deer tracks prior to coming in
to work. He was quite tempted to tell her that, but he was
suddenly aware of how intently she was looking at him, and
recognizing her increasing interest, he reluctantly turned away
from her pretty face.
“Well, I’ll check back with you after the film is
developed. Please, let the nurses know if you need anything. Mr.
Platt, Miss Esme.” Then he quickly walked away, but he was
unable to stop smiling.
He returned to splint her leg an hour later after the x-rays
confirmed there was no reason to fear any complications. She
had him chuckling the entire time, but he kept his gaze down
because he knew how closely she was still looking at him.
Finally, she tapped him on the shoulder and he jumped from the
contact.
She giggled at his reaction. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to
startle you, but do you know why all of the nurses are staring?”
She whispered.
He smiled at her again, and he was actually pleased
when he heard her heart rate increase. He knew that she must
have an idea of what the nurses were thinking, but she was
enjoying making light of the situation, so he continued to amuse
himself by playing along.

295!
 “I think that they have never thought of me as the type
to… laugh. They must disapprove,” he whispered back as if they
were co-conspirators of a shocking scandal.
Now it was Esme who laughed out loud. “You all are
quite serious here, are you not? Death really ought to be more
funny.”
Carlisle was taken aback. “Funny, Miss Esme?”
“Yes, it would make it less scary, more a natural part of
life. And, you might have more fun at work,” she said
thoughtfully. “You look like you need to have more fun.”
Carlisle’s smile became sad as he stood up.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I upset you?” For the first time that
evening Esme’s smile faded.
Carlisle shook his head no as he finished elevating and
stabilizing her leg. “Not at all, Miss Esme. It’s just that,” Carlisle
sighed, “this was the most fun I’ve had… in a very long time.”
He looked into her blue eyes and gave her one more sad smile.
“Thank you, Miss Esme.”
She smiled back at him, and suddenly Carlisle realized
that for the first time in over a century, he felt drawn to a
woman, but she was a human. He was so uncomfortable he
quickly turned and left to finish his charts.
When his shift ended before dawn, he firmly resisted the
temptation to visit her before he went home. He regretted not
saying good-bye to her, but he did not want to even entertain the

296!
idea of getting to know her better. He could not afford to get
close to a human woman. His cold heart could not take it.
He never knew that she returned a week later with a
small gift of thanks, and found out that he had already moved to
Chicago.

297!
298!
 CHAPTER 15
~~1918~~

A hot summer breeze blew through Carlisle’s window in

Chicago and his mail was blown on the floor. He picked up
another letter from Denali. Eleazar was clearly following
instructions from the women of the household to inquire yet
again about how Carlisle was doing. The slight elevation in
Carlisle’s mood after meeting the young human woman had
lasted only a few years. Now his isolation seemed an even more
stark a reality than it had been before. The loneliness was
starting to consume him. Eleazar was the only one he had told
about Esme because only Eleazar knew what he had gone
through with Raisa. Carlisle was fairly certain that Eleazar was
going to be forced to relate all of the details to the others, but he
would only write to Eleazar about this topic.
Eleazar’s letter stated quite simply, “My friend, I am
afraid for you. I have seen others fall into this state before. I
know that staying with us in Denali does not cure your malady. I
want you to consider making a companion.”

299!
 Carlisle folded up the letter and stared at the bright sky
outside his window. He tried yet again to imagine what it would
be like to bite into the neck of a human, to have the scent of
blood fill his nose as the blood slid over his tongue, and then to
force himself to stop feeding before… before the heart stopped.
He shook his head and stuffed the letter into the leather portfolio
where he kept his letters from Denali.
Carlisle turned his attention to the second personal letter
he had received that afternoon. The postmark was from Haskell
County, Kansas. He had no idea whom it could possibly be from,
but he carefully opened the envelope and read through all eight
pages with eyes wide from surprise. It was from another
classmate from Dartmouth named Hanson White. He was a close
friend of a physician in Haskell County called Dr. Loring Miner
and White was relating a harrowing tale.
In January of that year, Dr. Miner had noted a
particularly brutal epidemic of influenza unlike any he had seen
in Kansas before. Dozens of the strongest and most robust
citizens in the county were being taken down without warning.
Swiftly, they progressed to pneumonia, and then they began to
die. Carlisle was suddenly terribly afraid as he recalled his
experiences with the epidemic from Russia fifty years before.
Then, as abruptly as the epidemic started it disappeared,
the remaining patients recovered and went back to their lives,
and news of the Great War returned to the headlines of Kansas.
White wrote that Miner remained concerned, however, and he

300!
had encouraged Miner to report the outbreak to the Public Health
Reports weekly journal of the U.S. Public Health Service. The
report had been published, and Carlisle quickly flipped through
his piles of journals and found it. There had not been any other
reports in previous or subsequent journals so far that year.
White concluded his letter stating that he was writing all
of their classmates who he could find, warning them personally
of the event because they had never seen a strain of influenza
take down and kill such healthy people before. He included a
description of the history, clinical findings, and common
presentation of their patients.
Carlisle put away the second letter with a new feeling of
dread growing in his chest. He could not recall the last time he
had been so ill at ease. He could not find anything to relieve his
stress, and when he wasn’t working he simply stared out from
his window at a bright blue summer sky and stood inches from
rays of sunshine that he could not allow to warm his shining,
cold skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With the first cold front in early September Carlisle

heard of some men at the military base north of Chicago
becoming gravely ill with influenza. Carlisle immediately
cleared his schedule and took an evening trip to Great Lakes
Naval Training Station only thirty-two miles north of the city.

301!
Carlisle brought the letter from White with him and examined
the sick men. After an hour with the patients, Carlisle asked to
see the commander of the base, and together they called John
Dill Robertson, the Health Commissioner of Chicago.
On September 16, Robertson placed signs on the
elevated trains, in public areas and in all of the newspapers
warning of the coming epidemic and the dangers of spitting,
coughing and sneezing in public. He also declared that influenza
was now a reportable disease to the Department of Health.
Theaters, dance halls, athletic meets, and cabarets were closed
until they could be inspected for vectors of disease. Crowd sizes
were strictly controlled, and work hours were staggered to
minimize crowds in public transportation. Police ordered
children to clear the public parks and church service times were
limited.
Carlisle took charge of prevention in the hospital and
immediately enforced strict hand-washing and mask-wearing
policies in his hospital. Despite all of their best efforts, however,
Carlisle found their first case on the twenty-third of September
1918.
Carlisle set up living quarters for the staff and
quarantined them all to the hospital and their individual homes.
Nurses with young children were immediately sent home to be
with their families. He kept enough doctors on the staff to run
three shifts a day, and sent the rest to monitor the community
and send the worst cases to the hospital.

302!
 Within a month the deaths at Cook County Hospital
alone numbered in the hundreds. Carlisle had also lost one third
of his staff to illness and death. He was routinely working for
forty-eight hours straight with only six hours of “rest” between
his shifts. Carlisle had never seen anything on this scale, but he
had not lived in a large city during the Russian epidemic. Dozens
were arriving every day, and most of them close to death. They
were routinely splitting the patients into those who might
recover, and those who were already lost. City trolleys were
being draped in black and used to move the dead because there
were not enough hearses and bodies were being stacked like
wood in the morgue.
By November Carlisle’s staff had been reduced to half-
strength and the hospital administrator was dead, so Carlisle had
taken on much of his responsibility too. He was getting reports
from colleagues all over the country of the spreading epidemic
so severe that he was beginning to fear for humanity. Hawthorne
had told him stories and read the accounts of physicians who had
lived through the Black Death. There were no similarities
between that plague and this virulent influenza except the
increasing dead; but he feared how high the toll would go and its
affect not only on humans, but vampires. The vampire
population in the United States of America had grown as the
population had exploded with more and more immigrants every
hour. The vampires were also immigrating from all corners of
the globe. But Carlisle was constantly aware of the stories that

303!
Marcus had told him in Volterra of the shifts in human
population and the beginning of vampire wars over territory. The
last thing Carlisle wanted was an uprising that brought the
Volturi across the ocean. The stress of all of these concerns
weighed on Carlisle’s mental state as the months crawled by and
the epidemic worsened.
In late November there was a slight reprieve as the cold
temperatures kept more people indoors, but more of the patients
who arrived at Carlisle’s hospital were close to death. His morale
was reaching an all time low. Another family had arrived that
morning and the two sisters died within hours of their arrival.
The father was unconscious and very close to death, and the
mother and son were close to their final days.
Carlisle triaged the family when they arrived and all of
them were taken to the death ward. He noted the unique beauty
of the sisters as they were taken to the morgue, and went to
check on the condition of the mother who was the only one still
alert.
Carlisle found that her bed was empty, but she was just
two beds over weeping over her son and sponging his fevered
brow. She did not turn to look at Carlisle, but knew he was there.
“My husband is dead,” she said in a hollow voice; “the nurse has
gone to find someone to move his body.”
Carlisle looked down at the father’s face one more time.
He had a strong and proud face and had died so quickly the
disease had not taken any of the appearance of health from him

304!
except for his pale color. His mustache was neatly trimmed, and
there were smile lines at his mouth and laugh lines at the corners
of his eyes. He was a man who had loved and known joy.
Carlisle lifted the sheet up and gently covered him.
Carlisle turned back to the mother as a fit of coughing
shook her thin frame. “You really should get back into your bed,
ma’am.” Carlisle moved to help her back to her bed.
“Elizabeth,” she said forcefully.
“I’m sorry, I don’t – ”
“My name is Elizabeth. My husband’s name was
Edward. My daughters were Sarah and Ruth. And this is my son,
Edward.” Elizabeth began to weep as she introduced her dying
son to Carlisle. She continued to wipe her son’s brow as Edward
shook from chills and pink foam dribbled from the corner of his
mouth.
Carlisle sat down on the other side of the bed.
“Elizabeth, I’m very sorry for your losses. My name is Carlisle.”
Elizabeth’s deathly pale face turned up and she actually
smiled slightly as tears still streamed down her face. She sighed,
“I’m sorry, Doctor. I know that you have watched people like us
come in as we did and leave on wagons full of bodies. I cannot
imagine what you have been through. It must be hard to care at
all anymore.”
Carlisle reached out and took her hand. The difference in
temperature between her fevered hand and his cold and bloodless
fingers must have been shocking to her but she only briefly

305!
glanced down at the contact then looked into his eyes. He
smiled, “Elizabeth, I would not be here if I did not care for every
life that came into this hospital.”
She smiled again and wiped away another tear. Then she
looked down at her son, “He’s all I have left. He was the only
one who looked like me. My girls both looked like their father.”
Carlisle looked down at Edward’s face and nodded,
“You could not be more right. He has your eyes and profile.”
She smiled. “He’s tall like his father, but he loves music
like me. He plays the piano, and he loves poetry and learning.”
She sighed again, “But he was going to leave us. He wanted to
join the army rather than go to university. I was desperate to stop
him, he’s my only son, but his father would not intervene. He
said that Edward was seventeen and had to make his own
decisions.”
Suddenly, Elizabeth began to cough again, and she
sprayed blood onto Edward’s white sheets and became dizzy.
Carlisle quickly moved to her side and scooped her up before she
swooned and laid her back in her bed and she drifted into a fitful
sleep. The orderly arrived to remove Elizabeth’s husband, and
then Carlisle moved Elizabeth into the bed next to her son. He
was struck once again by their resemblance and the overall
striking beauty of the family as he looked more closely at
Edward’s face. He saw similar but youthful smile lines at the
corners of his mouth and Carlisle thought that a childhood with

306!
this family must have been happy. He was suddenly overcome
with sadness and longing, so he turned away and left the ward.
Carlisle tried to stay away from Elizabeth and Edward
but found himself standing next to them and checking their
condition nearly every hour. After Elizabeth slept for a few
hours she was leaning over her son and nursing him again.
Carlisle tried to encourage her to rest but she refused. She began
telling him more stories about their family.
“Edward’s father works all week at the bank, but the
weekends are all family time. Ever since the children were
young we would take them to the park for the day on Saturdays;
then on Sundays we spent the day at church service, then
luncheon, then games. My husband would play in the fathers and
sons baseball tournaments with Edward. The girls and I would
play horseshoes with the ladies. We would compete to see if the
boys or the girls came home with more ribbons.” Each time he
came by to check on them she told Carlisle more stories of
Edward’s childhood, and as the hours passed Carlisle understood
more and more about this dying boy.
The evening three days after they arrived Carlisle went
straight to Elizabeth and Edward as he came on his shift. When
he walked up Elizabeth was leaning over her son and his eyes
flickered open, and he looked up at his mother’s pale and drawn
face and gave her one of the purest, most loving smiles he had
ever seen on a young man’s face. Elizabeth cried as she caressed

307!
her boy’s caramel colored hair and his eyes closed again.
Carlisle had to help her back into bed.
Carlisle knew that Elizabeth would not last much longer,
so he decided to stay with her. Her temperature was now raging
out of control and Carlisle was trying to comfort her with wet
cloths. He was wiping the sweat from her arms and neck and
legs. When he went to change the cloth on her forehead she
suddenly seized his arm.
“Carlisle! Please, you must!”
Carlisle leaned closer. “What is it Elizabeth? What must
I do?”
Her eyes were suddenly wide open with desperation.
“You must save him!
Carlisle frowned, “I’ll do everything in my power,” he
promised solemnly, taking her hand in his.
She clutched his hand, “No, no you must!” Her emerald
green eyes burned like her fevered brow. “You must do
everything in your power, Carlisle. What others cannot do, that
is what you must do for my Edward!”
Carlisle was completely speechless. Elizabeth’s gaze
pierced his and he knew that she had guessed what he was.
Before he could even try to process what she was asking him to
do, her eyes rolled back into her head and she was unconscious.
Within an hour, though she strained to live, her body finally gave
up. Carlisle was unable to give her any comfort before she
passed.

308!
 Carlisle sat next to Edward’s bed and looked down at
him, watching every labored breath he took. He regretted every
moment he had spent with this family. Not since Vienna had he
allowed himself to fantasize about being a part of a human
family. But, he did admit to himself that never before had he
been so far into the depths of agonizing loneliness. Edward was
now alone, just as Carlisle was.
Carlisle moved Edward’s mother to the morgue first.
When he was cleaning her body and removing all personal items
but her dressing gown he discovered that she had her husband’s
wedding ring clutched in her hand. Carlisle removed her
wedding ring and put both into his pocket. He found a few other
pieces of jewelry from Edward’s mother and sisters among her
belongings. He would at least be able to save a few tangible
remnants of Edward’s family for him. Then he returned to the
ward and wheeled Edward downstairs before spiriting him out
the back door of the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing still as a statue in his bedroom, Carlisle looked

down on Edward. He was so weak that he was not even
coughing up the bloody sputum, he just lay with half open eyes
gasping for breath. Carlisle could hear Edward’s heart slowing
down, too slow. Soon his blood flow would not support his
organs and they would begin to die.

309!
 Carlisle’s fists were clenched as he fought his internal
moral battle, then suddenly he heard Elizabeth’s soft, desperate
voice again in his mind. Save him… What others cannot do, this
is what you must do for my Edward… Save him!!
Carlisle’s hands still remained at his sides. Was his
motivation pure? Was he really trying to save the boy, so young
and unfulfilled, or was he trying to save himself? Carlisle
sincerely doubted himself. He could never be as loving as
Edward’s father had been. But he felt in his cold heart a new
ember burning to carry on their example… Something must
survive of this good family. Their love for each other must not
die.
Carlisle knelt down, and laid his cold hand on Edward’s
forehead. Edward flinched slightly at the touch, but then sighed
at the slight relief from his burning fever. His weary eyes
opened, and then he struggled to focus as he tried to see who was
there.
“It’s Dr. Cullen, Edward,” Carlisle said quietly.
Edward turned toward the gentle voice, and some bloody
saliva leaked from the tiny lopsided smile he gave Carlisle when
he focused on the doctor’s angelic face.
“Edward, you must listen to me and answer a
question…” Carlisle was desperate for Edward’s approval, for
his understanding and consent. Even with Elizabeth’s blessing,
Carlisle’s fear of what the actual taste of human blood would do
to his dedication paralyzed him.

310!
 Edward looked up at Carlisle and lightly pushed his
forehead against Carlisle’s gentle cool palm, as if to nudge him
to ask the question.
Carlisle, looked down at the floor for a moment, then
leaned closer and held Edward’s eyes in his deep unbreakable
gaze. “You’re mother wanted me to save your life. But do you
want… to live FOREVER?” He spoke in a harsh whisper, his
eyes wide, blazing golden with intensity.
Edward gazed back at Carlisle, and his brow furrowed
slightly.
“I can save you, but you will never die – we, will never
die. We will be damned to live forever.” The depth of Carlisle’s
hundreds of years of loneliness felt like a chasm in his heart that
gave his words a disturbing resonance. His separation from
friendship and intimacy had been so complete that he had almost
forgotten what it was like to be totally unguarded with another
being.
Edward felt the weight of Carlisle’s words and his own
eyes filled with tears as he continued to look up at Carlisle’s
pained expression. A tear rolled down the side of Edward’s face
to the pillow.
Carlisle wiped away the tear. “I will take care of you,
Edward, no matter whether you decide to live or die.”
Edward gasped for breath again. Carlisle quickly
retrieved a handkerchief and lifted Edward up so he could
breathe a little easier. Carlisle wiped the bloody sputum away

311!
with the handkerchief as he held Edward in his arms.
Edward looked up at Carlisle. “Forever?” He whispered
so quietly that no human could have heard him.
Carlisle nodded, and wondered yet again, Am I saving
this child, or am I saving myself?
Edward looked directly into the vampire’s gaze and
whispered more clearly, “You are… saving… both of us.”
Carlisle stared incredulously, Did he hear me? But he
did not have to wonder any longer because he could see it in
Edward’s eyes. Edward was resolved: he wanted to LIVE.
In that instant, Carlisle struck with deadly force at
Edward’s throat, possessed by a bloodlust that he had denied for
centuries. As the human blood pooled on his tongue, and lit his
taste buds, as it slid down his throat, it was as if every nerve
ending in his body fired in pleasure, stronger than any orgasmic
pinnacle he could recall from his existence. He continued to
drink, his mind a whirl of passion and thirst, screaming for more,
and more, and more.
Then he realized his mind was screaming for him to
stop. And then he heard Edward’s screaming. Edward was
crying from the depth of his soul, and he was weakening. He had
to stop!
Pulling away from Edward’s throat was like pulling a
redwood tree from its ancient grounds. It felt like an eternity,
extracting his teeth from the veins of his prey, and it was
excruciating for him to withdraw without filling his thirst. Twice

312!
he tried and failed, but as he heard Edward’s cries of agony,
ripped from bloody lungs ravaged by the influenza and
pneumonia, Carlisle’s infinite compassion finally gave him the
power to release Edward.
Carlisle fell backward onto the floor, and dropped
Edward on the bed. Edward writhed and shook with the pain,
and though Carlisle was dazed, and completely clouded by his
feeding furor, he crawled back up to the bed, covering his mouth
with horror at what he feared he had done.
He again took Edward in his arms, and Edward strained
to find Carlisle’s face though the agony.
I’m so sorry, Edward! I’m so sorry! I deserve to be
destroyed for doing this to him! I’m a monster! I’m so sorry!
Carlisle’s empathy for his victim overwhelmed him and he fell
deeper into his abyss of despair.
Then suddenly Edward put a vice-like grip on his arm.
Carlisle looked down at Edward with anguished eyes. “You…
are… NOT… a monster!” Edward whispered hoarsely. Carlisle
stared at Edward, and then thought in his mind, Be you reborn
my son.
Edward continued to cry out and writhe in pain as his
body transformed, cell by agonizing cell. Carlisle never moved
and continued to hold Edward in his arms, for two days and three
nights.
Edward was getting weaker and weaker again, moving
less and less. About eight o’clock on the third night, Edward

313!
looked up again at Carlisle, who smiled again, smoothing
Edward’s bronze-colored hair. Edward gave him a crooked smile
in return, and then Edward’s eyes slid shut and he stopped
moving.
Carlisle started, shocked. He knew what the presence of
another vampire felt like. He had felt little inklings of that sense
over the days as the process had continued, and he had finally
convinced himself that he had done the transformation correctly.
But suddenly, Edward’s hear stopped! He was rigid, and cold,
and his face was frozen in the crooked smile.
“Edward? Edward?? EDWARD! EDWARD!!!” Carlisle
shook the frozen boy, screaming his name. His dead heart shrank
as his hope for a new life drained away. His desolation of
centuries of watching his human friends all die exploded in his
head and he collapsed on Edward’s chest.
Then suddenly Carlisle lifted his head. He realized that
Edward’s bare chest under his hands was hard, very hard, and
cold.
“Carlisle?” Edward’s velvet voice floated up, and
Carlisle turned his head moving toward Edward’s face. Edward
gave Carlisle another crooked smile. “I’m thirsty.”
Carlisle nearly fell off the bed as he erupted with
laughter, but Edward sat up and embraced Carlisle tightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

314!
 Carlisle quickly concluded his affairs in Chicago
claiming that distant relations in Alaska had taken ill with
influenza and he needed to aid the family in their affairs. He
removed Edward to Denali and the coven welcomed the new
vampire with open arms.
Carlisle and Eleazar took Edward hunting every day.
Edward demonstrated a prowess for wild cats while Carlisle still
preferred deer in any form. Once their appetite was sated, they
would race each other in the woods, and due to Edward’s
amazing speed he most often won. Then they would walk
together among the few humans nearby to practice Edward’s
restraint.
Under Carlisle’s guidance they found that it was a bit
easier for Edward to adapt to controlling his thirst than it had
been for Carlisle, who had groped alone in the dark for decades.
Edward’s surprising tenacity to resist his strong instincts to hunt
human blood resulted in very few occasions where Carlisle had
to contain him and drag him home. Most often Edward’s impulse
to kill occurred when they passed a human with violent thoughts,
which seemed to intensely influence Edward when he read their
minds. Part of the reason they left Chicago sooner than Carlisle
intended was that Edward had lost control and killed the first
human he met who had violent thoughts. Edward was distraught,
but when they arrived in Denali and he met an entire coven who
struggled daily to deny their thirst he took up the task of learning
how to be like Carlisle with renewed dedication.

315!
 They focused a lot of energy on Edward’s gift. Eleazar
had never seen anything like it. Edward could not recall actually
hearing thoughts when he was human, but simply knew
instinctively what people were thinking. After the change
Edward could hear humans’ thoughts fairly well, and he very
easily became attuned to Tanya’s coven, but Edward was most
acutely aware of Carlisle. They also discovered that Edward
could hear only what was immediately passing through
someone’s mind, including coherent thoughts, feelings and
impressions. Vampires seemed easier for him to hear. What
Edward heard from vampires was often packed with a lot more
sensory information as their senses were heightened, and it made
the relationships among their coven very honest.
Carlisle had been so closed off and secretive for so long
as he strove to live as a human, it was an immense relief for him
to suddenly have someone who was so receptive to his ideas and
teaching, and to who he really was. They spent their endless
expanse of time talking about what Carlisle had learned about
vampires over his hundreds of years of experience. Often they
would sit for the entire night without Carlisle speaking a word,
and Edward would silently listen to Carlisle’s mind wander
through time and his personal history as a seemingly endless
narrative. Carlisle began to collect paintings that told the story,
though Edward could see each scene in Carlisle’s memory as
clearly as Carlisle did.
Edward was like a child again, following Carlisle’s

316!
example, and striving to please him with great sincerity. Edward
knew Carlisle’s every thought and so could clearly see his
authenticity and compassion. But Carlisle also on rare occasions
would turn his mind from things he did not want to discuss with
Edward.
Edward noted that the avoided topics included Carlisle’s
human family, Edward’s human family, and a coven in Italy
called the Volturi. When Edward found himself deflected from
Carlisle’s thoughts, he would become frustrated; but he also
sensed deep wells of emotion that Carlisle worried would
overwhelm Edward, so Edward assumed Carlisle was simply
protecting him and disciplined himself to wait until the day when
the discussion would finally be boundless.
Within a couple of years, Carlisle felt very confident
Edward was ready to start desensitizing himself to living in
constant community with humans. He began writing to inquire
about small town positions for physicians and found several
communities in need of medical expertise.
The Denali coven was very sad to see them go, Tanya
most of all. Edward brought the post to Carlisle one day and his
brow was creased. What is it, Edward?
Edward looked at Carlisle warily. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Carlisle understood that Edward did not want prying ears
around this conversation.
They hiked out into the woods and when they were
several hundred yards from the house Edward hopped up into a

317!
tree and Carlisle followed.
“Tanya is upset we are planning to leave,” Edward said a
little sadly.
Carlisle smiled. She has always wanted us to stay, but I
warned her we were only here for your training.
Edward looked Carlisle and then sighed, “She wants me
to stay.”
Carlisle knew Tanya well enough to understand
immediately that she wanted Edward. Carlisle had hoped the
situation would work itself out, but clearly Edward was
conflicted. Edward, you are a grown man. You are capable of
making your own decisions. Do you want to stay with her?
Edward looked back at Carlisle and seemed surprised by
the question. “No, I want to stay with you.”
Carlisle could not hide the happiness that thought gave
him, but also knew that his wishes could be influencing
Edward’s course. You know very well how happy I am to have
you with me, but I always want as much honesty from you as you
have from me. You are free to stay with me or go as you wish.
Edward looked back at Carlisle considering what he had
said, and understood exactly why he was saying it. “Carlisle, you
know Tanya thinks she is in love with me. She has had…
feelings for me ever since we arrived, even after she understood
that I could hear her thoughts. I don’t feel the same way about
her.” Then he looked intently at Carlisle. “I know that you
changed me because my mother asked you to, and you were

318!
desperately lonely. And I know from their thoughts and yours
how much happier you have been since you changed me. But, I
don’t want to leave you. I have so much to learn, and I am
happiest with you.”
Carlisle looked to the ground and smiled. Thank you,
Edward. You already know how much that means to me. But,
please, if you ever decide you must leave, promise me you will
follow your own feelings and not mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1920~~
Carlisle and Edward settled on Ashland, Wisconsin.
There was a small private academy that was ideal for continuing
Edward’s education, and a local hospital in dire need of medical
direction. A number of the staff had been killed by the Spanish
influenza epidemic. Carlisle would see to the recruitment and
retaining of a new network of physicians and nurses to help
serve the surrounding community.
They arrived in the fall and Carlisle was pleased that the
sun was already at its customary winter nadir, and would not be
seen for at least eight months. He established with the school and
with the hospital that they both suffered from the rare condition,
xeroderma pigmentosum, and the shared severe skin condition
easily explained his reason for wanting to adopt Edward when he
was orphaned. Also, the diagnosis meant that their activities

319!
during sunny periods could be restricted without suspicion, and
they could remain indoors and carry out their activities. On those
days Edward would study at home, and Carlisle would take
house calls in his home office with the curtains all drawn tightly.
They purchased one of the larger houses in the small town since
their personalities demanded a significant amount of personal
space, and Carlisle needed a professional office for his patient
visits. They settled in easily, and the community welcomed them
and dismissed any oddness as a result of their skin condition and
big city origins in Chicago.
The hospital benefited greatly from Carlisle’s immense
expertise and modern practices. As Edward’s education
progressed their evening discussions were turning toward
science and philosophy, and Carlisle smiled often as Edward
worked out Carlisle’s theories of non-violence in such a violent
world. Edward soon became curious enough to visit the hospital
and work with Carlisle and his patients. He had a supremely
natural rapport with patients because he could read their thoughts
and find the real causes of people’s illnesses within moments of
meeting them, even though people’s minds often tricked their
own bodies. He took advantage of this time in the hospital to
reduce his sensitivity to human blood more and more but Edward
could not work in the operating room. This slight weakness
embarrassed Edward, and he felt ashamed so that he avoided
talking to Carlisle about it. Carlisle’s patience with him,
however, seemed infinite.

320!
 Despite his continuing challenges in restraint, Edward
demonstrated such a penchant for medicine that Carlisle was not
surprised when after a year in Ashland Edward inquired about
attending medical school after university.
Carlisle could see that Edward was modeling himself
more and more on Carlisle’s example. One evening Carlisle sat
in his office reading. He had been drawn to the Flexner Report
on medical school quality reform again because Edward did not
want to move very far, knowing how his adoptive father felt
about the northern Midwest. But Carlisle was concerned about
the current policies of the Dean of the University of Wisconsin’s
College of Medicine. He had already had several arguments with
the Dean about local public health concerns. The kinds of
epidemics that had plagued Wisconsin recently were often due to
careless management by doctors and hospitals, not new diseases.
It was the kind of tragedy of ignorance that had befallen
Edward’s family, who had originally become ill due to poor
containment.
Carlisle put down the book; he hadn’t thought about
Edward’s parents in a long time. Carlisle smiled to himself, but
then the smile faded as he wondered if Edward’s mother would
have been proud of what he had done to her son. He had no
doubt Elizabeth would have been proud of Edward, but Carlisle
still doubted how his abilities compared to Edward’s loving
human parents.
“Who is Elizabeth?” Edward said lightly as he walked

321!
into the house. “And how could she be better than you,
Carlisle?” Edward laughed.
Carlisle stood up and sighed, placing the book on his
desk and then walked out of the study following Edward’s path
toward the music room. Elizabeth was your mother’s name,
Edward. Don’t you remember? Carlisle said carefully.
Edward had been retrieving a set of sheet music from the
bookcase, but suddenly stopped what he was doing when
Carlisle mentioned Edward’s mother as he entered the music
room. “Yes, I remember, I just thought… I didn’t realize you
were thinking of her specifically.”
Carlisle watched his Edward closely. Do you think of her
often? Carlisle asked sadly.
Edward changed his mind and he moved to another
bookcase without turning to look at Carlisle, then he busied
himself finding the new selection of music he was seeking.
When he found it, he walked over to the grand piano and sat
down. “I think of all of them…every day.”
Carlisle’s face fell slightly. Then he looked back at his
Edward. I was wondering how I compare to them…
“Carlisle, stop. You are more to me than they ever were.
Yes, I miss them, but neither of my parents could have shown
me the world that you have.”
Carlisle nodded, and then glanced over Edward’s
shoulder. Debussy?
“It was my mother’s favorite.” Edward said quietly. He

322!
began to play, and Carlisle sat down on the settee and listened to
the floating chords of Claire de Lune. Edward would sometimes
play for hours because it seemed to calm Carlisle when his
thoughts were troubled, and Edward knew Carlisle was troubled.
Edward listened to Carlisle’s mind wander as he played,
and to his surprise, for the first time Carlisle candidly reflected
about his own mother, how Carlisle’s own face resembled hers
and that was the only knowledge of her likeness that he had.
Then he thought of how Edward’s mother had inspired him to try
to save Edward. And then, Carlisle felt that he and Edward
needed more, they were missing something…
Edward stopped playing. “Is my company not enough?”
he said, somewhat childishly petulant.
Carlisle sat up again. Edward, your company is more
than I ever expected to deserve.
Edward’s brow furrowed. “Then what do you mean that
we are missing something?”
Carlisle shook his head. I don’t know. I missed not
having a mother, and I feel like you need that. Perhaps there
may be things you cannot tell me, and you may want someone
else to tell them to. I really don’t know, Edward.
Edward considered this. “I don’t think anyone could
replace the mother I have lost. I wouldn’t want you to even try,”
he said softly.
Carlisle nodded. I understand.
Edward started to play again. “I was talking to my

323!
teacher today about loss. I like her and we speak often. She tells
people she is a war widow, and she is working while seven
months pregnant to support herself. But that is not the whole
story.” Edward’s brow creased. “Her thoughts told me her
husband was abusive, and he did go to war, but he didn’t really
die. When he came back, he beat her horribly, so she fled
west…”
Carlisle cringed inwardly. Suddenly he was in the
unyielding grip of the memory of his father brutally punching
him in the eye with his iron fist, sending him staggering to the
ground. Then the monster was reaching for his walking stick and
drawing it back far behind his head before whipping it down on
his son’s back, hitting Carlisle repeatedly, causing large welts to
swell over the cracks in his ribs before he could lift his arms to
defend himself and get away. The memory rose up like a tidal
wave, overwhelming hundreds of years of mental walls which
had imprisoned that part of his past.
Edward was assaulted by the memories as they flooded
out of Carlisle’s mind, and he slammed his hands on the
keyboard as he braced himself against the onslaught. “Carlisle!”
Edward turned around and found Carlisle sitting on the
settee, bent over with his head resting against his left hand.
Edward listened to his thoughts which still poured forth like a
confession. Carlisle was still not fully healed, over two hundred
and fifty years later.
Edward was now the only living being, save for one of

324!
the Volturi, who knew of Carlisle’s private pain. Edward had not
seen Carlisle so vulnerable since the night of his birth as a
vampire. He was caught off balance because he had become so
accustomed to seeing Carlisle as an immovable object, strong,
dependable, and emotionally steady. For the first time Edward
truly understood what Carlisle had actually been doing when he
saved him: Carlisle had been trying to find unconditional,
familial love, a love Edward had always had with his family, but
Carlisle had never known. Though he had thought of Carlisle in
this way for a long time, and often referred to Carlisle as his
father to the humans because they expected it, he had never said
the word to Carlisle’s face. “Father…” Edward said the word out
loud, and it was heavy with meaning.
Carlisle looked up, slightly stunned, and then smiled at
Edward. “Son.” Then he stood, slid his hands into his pockets
and walked out into the main hall and slowly up the staircase to
be alone. Edward dutifully closed his mind, but he threw open
the bookcases, pulling out piles of music, and played for his
father the entire night. The complete works of Debussy drifted
up through the house and Carlisle listened with his eyes closed in
meditation.
When Carlisle emerged from his seclusion the following
morning, it was a Sunday, and Edward produced something
completely unexpected: a baseball glove. Edward’s lopsided
smile escaped as he saw Carlisle’s bemused expression.
“It’s time you woke up to the Twentieth Century. You

325!
need learn the national game, and it’s something I always play
with my family. Besides, I think we’re going to need some new
competitive sports since I will always beat you in running.”
Carlisle chuckled, and they had their first game of catch
that afternoon.

326!
 CHAPTER 16
~~1921~~

Carlisle sat in the courtyard of the hospital and looked

up at the stars. He often sought solitude when there was a short
reprieve in his duties. Edward was busy with menial tasks that
were expected of younger student volunteers.
“Do you mind if I intrude, Doctor?” A gruff older
physician approached Carlisle’s bench.
Carlisle did mind, but he was not about to be rude to the
man who he hoped would take over his job as chief of medicine
at the hospital when he and Edward left to start the next cycle.
“Not at all, sir. Please sit, Dr. Newell.” Carlisle said
pleasantly. Nathaniel Newell was a rough man, but he was
highly intelligent and sincere in his wish to help mankind. What
he lacked in bedside manner he made up for in shrewd authority,
and it made him an ideal choice to replace Carlisle.
Newell cleared his throat, “You know, your boy is a rare
find. I wouldn’t expect many orphans to turn out so well. I think
he’ll make a fine physician one day.”

327!
 Carlisle smiled. “He seems fairly determined at the
moment.” He chuckled. “But, he’s also young and quite
passionate about many other things, especially music. We’ll see
what career he settles on in time.”
Newell nodded. “Why are you not married, sir? There
are many young ladies in this town who have pined for you for
years, I hear.”
Carlisle chuckled again at Newell’s awkward, direct
manner. If something occurred to him, he ignored social graces
and simply asked. Carlisle shrugged. “I met a girl once, who
made me laugh. No one has made me laugh like that since.”
Newell seemed even more perplexed. “You are a young,
accomplished, learned man. How did you let her get away?”
Carlisle was surprised by how genuinely concerned
Newell appeared to be. Carlisle wondered if he seemed
particularly forlorn to people around him lately. “She got away
because… I didn’t think at the time that I would be good for her.
I wanted her to live a long and full life. She would never have
had that with me.”
Newell laughed, a full belly laugh. “There are plenty of
physicians who have good family lives. I know your boy is
nearly grown, and you should consider your life after he goes to
university.”
Carlisle looked over at Newell and realized the older
man had been talking to Edward. Edward was worried about
Carlisle being alone more and more as he was occupied with his

328!
education. Carlisle chuckled again. “You and Edward do not
need to be so concerned for me. I’ll find plenty of projects to
occupy my time.”
Newell was not satisfied, but he allowed the topic to
drop.
Edward ran up to the two physicians. “Father, another
automobile accident victim has arrived.”
Dr. Newell growled as he stood up again, “Those
contraptions will be the death of the human race!”
Carlisle stood, and indicated that Newell should precede
him. They worked on the young man for over an hour, but could
not save him. He had already lost too much blood, and
transfusions could not sustain him long enough for his lacerated
liver to clot.
Carlisle took the body to the morgue with Edward who
shook his head and commented, “I knew him from school,” as
they placed the young man on the table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later Edward came to the hospital after

school and he was positively agitated. “My head hurts. I’ve been
bombarded all day with everyone’s tragic thoughts. First the
Smith boy’s death, and now Mrs. Evenson just lost her baby to a
lung infection.”
Carlisle looked up from his charts. “Your teacher?”

329!
 Edward nodded as he flopped onto the couch in
Carlisle’s small office. “The one whose husband supposedly died
in the war, but she actually left him. The students were upset, but
she was strangely at peace with her baby’s death. Her thoughts
were strange, like she had decided it was okay.”
Carlisle was suspicious. “My goodness, what was she
doing in school today?”
Edward shook his head. “I have no idea. And the entire
last hour of study time she seemed really focused today on going
to watch the sunset at the cliffs, and how serene it would be.”
Carlisle’s head jerked up again. Edward, someone
jumped off the cliffs an hour ago – at sunset. When was the last
time you saw your teacher?
Edward’s eyes were wide. “Before I went to play
baseball with the other guys.”
Carlisle stood up. I’m going to check and see who was
brought in. Stay here.
Edward sat up, “Why? Are you worried I can’t handle
it?”
Carlisle shook his head. You know I have faith in you,
but if it is someone you care about…
“I’m coming with you.” Edward stood up.
Carlisle looked at his son’s determined face and then led
the way. He walked into the trauma ward and inquired about the
patient.
“I think they said she died before she arrived.” The

330!
resident physician said quietly.
“And what was her name?” Carlisle said.
“Um, I’m really not sure. I think it was Platt?”
Carlisle sighed with relief that it was not Edward’s
teacher. “Not Evenson?”
The physician nodded. “Oh, yes, that’s right, Platt
Evenson. I think Evenson was her married name.”
Suddenly, Carlisle’s eyes went wide. And Edward’s
head turned toward him. “Father?” Edward reached out to
Carlisle.
“Esme… Platt… Evenson?” Carlisle said in a strained
whisper.
The physician was now beginning to look confused by
Carlisle’s expression. “Yes, Dr. Cullen, I think that’s right.”
Before the physician could finish speaking, Carlisle
turned and ran out of the ward, and Edward followed. “Too fast,
Carlisle! Slow down!” Edward called after his father who was
moving a little too quickly for a human.
Within minutes they were in the cold morgue. Carlisle
flipped through the charts and found the name he was looking
for. He braced himself with the table in front of him as he read
the chart: Esme Anne Platt Evenson: Suicide.
Edward turned to his father, horror on his face. “You
knew her? You knew my teacher?”
Carlisle turned to look at his astonished son. She was the
first woman in over a century I had feelings for.

331!
 Edward bowed his head slightly. “I really liked her too.
She was beautiful, and very caring, but sad.”
Carlisle smiled slightly, remembering when he had met
her like it was the day before. No one ever made me laugh the
way she did.
Edward smiled too, seeing Carlisle’s memories inside
his head. “I know.”
Carlisle turned his head. “What is that?” Carlisle said
softly.
“What?” Edward turned his head.
Edward, I hear… a very faint heartbeat in this room.
Edward closed his eyes, and instantly knew that Carlisle
was correct. He moved to the right, listening, and then Carlisle
pointed, three drawers to the right.
Edward threw open the drawer door and pulled it out to
reveal the body draped in thin cotton gauze; the toe tag read Platt
Evenson, Esme. “Carlisle, she’s still alive,” he turned back to his
father. “But she won’t be for much longer.”
Carlisle knew what Edward wanted him to do, but he
was frozen. His memories of Edward’s transformation replayed
in his mind. It had been traumatic for both of them. But then
Carlisle recalled the night he met Esme, and how their laughter
had echoed in the quiet wards. He had smiled when her heart
beat faster when he looked at her. She was so young, and happy.
He could not reconcile that girl with the woman who had jumped
to end her life.

332!
 “Her baby died. She thought she had nothing left,”
Edward quietly responded to Carlisle’s thoughts.
Carlisle looked down at her pale face. “What happened,
Esme? What happened to the funny girl I knew?” He leaned
closer. “Did you really want to die? Or did you have nothing to
live for? I know what that feels like.” He sighed. “Would you
live…” he could not say the words, to be with me?
Edward watched his father smooth the dying woman’s
hair. He listened to Carlisle think about how wonderfully things
had gone with Edward, how much the world would be missing if
Esme died, and also how desolate his life was after he had to
leave her.
Edward could see Carlisle making his decision and
immediately turned his attention to checking for possible
obstacles and saw none as Carlisle picked up her body. Edward
led the way, keeping watch as they quickly ran out of the
hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Esme walked up a forty-degree incline through the trees

in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. She allowed her senses to
become inundated by the colors of the fall leaves, the abundant
life below among the trees and above flying through the air. She
had not bothered to tie up her light brown hair and allowed the
wind to swing it around and twist it. Esme giggled like a child as

333!
she sprang easily up the steep slope and then leapt up into the
trees at the top of the edge. She flew up to the highest branches
that could support her weight with ease and then gasped and
nearly fell out when she found Carlisle’s face looking down at
her.
Carlisle easily clasped her arm and steadied her as she
recovered from the shock. “Didn’t your mother tell you that
you’d never find a husband up a tree?”
Esme’s face slowly changed in to a small smile and she
laughed. Carlisle chuckled lightly but his smile hid his sadness:
she had changed. She was not as quick to laugh, not as full of
impish charm, and because she no longer had a heartbeat he
could not tell whether she was reacting to his presence the way
she had when they first met. Carlisle found himself in a position
he was not used to. He was trying to make her laugh, and to gain
her attention.
The tree joke had succeeded where many others had
failed so Carlisle relished that success and reminded himself yet
again that he had to be patient. She was still adjusting, and she
might still decide to leave.
Carlisle sat down on the nearest branch and turned his
attention to some circling bald eagles a few dozen meters away.
The eagles were hunting.
“She found a mark,” Carlisle pointed at one of the
eagles.
Esme turned and looked, “How can you tell?”

334!
 Carlisle flattened his hand out and tilted it slightly to
match the eagle’s wing position, “She has adjusted her down-
angle. In about five seconds she is going to dive,” Carlisle
grinned.
Esme turned to watch the eagle and, just as Carlisle had
predicted, the eagle completed one more circle and then folded
her wings and dropped like a rock into the trees below.
Esme turned to stare at Carlisle with wonder. Carlisle
shrugged, “I have spent many, many hours up in trees, Esme.”
Esme smiled at him. “You weren’t joking were you?”
Carlisle smiled. “When, in 1911 or now?”
Esme giggled. “Either.”
Carlisle shook his head, “No, I never joke about
climbing trees. You could break a leg, Miss Esme.”
Esme laughed out loud. “See now, I knew you could be
more funny than you were letting on.”
Carlisle noted that she was leaning forward a little more
and he was both elated and frightened. “Hmm, as I recall, you
said that ‘death ought to be more funny.’”
Esme smiled and looked down bashfully. “I was a child
and I had no idea I was talking to a three-hundred-year-old
immortal at the time.”
Carlisle shook his head, “My dear, I’m not a day over
two hundred and seventy-seven.”
Esme lifted a porcelain hand up to Carlisle’s stony cheek
and gently ran her fingers over his skin. She sighed, “Everything

335!
feels different.”
Carlisle looked down. “I can barely remember what
things felt like as a human.”
Esme put both hands on Carlisle’s face and he looked
back up at her. “I remember how I felt about you.”
Carlisle was frozen by her gaze but then for a moment
he panicked, worrying what would happen if they really did
cross this line and Esme chose to leave him. But she was ready
for his retreat and quickly interlaced her fingers in his. “You’re
not going to run away to Chicago this time, Dr. Cullen.”
Carlisle laughed and Esme pulled him into a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~1924~~
Esme sat alone on the front porch of the large ranch
house. The two-story house was situated in a clearing and
surrounded by wildflowers and grass which should have
attracted grazing wildlife, but the animals knew who lived
inside, and were staying away.
Carlisle walked up from behind her and sat down next to
her. He picked up one of her hands to caress it, but Esme pulled
it free from his grasp. “Edward already tried, love, just give me a
little more time,” and Esme shook her head.
Carlisle leaned forward onto his knees and turned his
head to look up at her, but her gaze was fixed out among the
trees toward the rushing river in the valley below. “Did Edward

336!
tell you what I used to tell him?” Esme did not respond, so
Carlisle continued. “I lived alone in the wilderness for five years.
I spent another five years learning to desensitize myself to blood.
I spent another three years learning how to live as a human in a
large city. I have spent over one hundred and fifty years
overcoming failure after failure trying to practice as a physician.
I know failure. I know what it feels like.”
Esme turned to look at Carlisle’s earnest face. “Do you
know what it feels like to kill a human?” Carlisle did not respond
but did not look away. “Even after years of practice? Even with
the most loving teachers…” Esme allowed a sob to escape her
lips, and Carlisle reached over and picked her up, enveloping her
in his arms. She put her arms around him and continued to sob.
“Carlisle, I don’t deserve you.”
Carlisle shook his head. “How could you even think
something like that?”
Esme was silent for a moment. “I wanted to kill him,”
she whispered.
Carlisle rested his chin on her caramel head and caressed
her hair. “Why did you want to kill him, love?”
She lifted her head and looked at him with her bright red
eyes, wild and untamed. “He hurt her.”
Carlisle held her blood-filled eyes with his warm amber
gaze. “I understand.”
Esme’s brow furrowed slightly, then smoothed out
again. “Edward told you.”

337!
 Carlisle nodded. “I know Charles was chosen by your
parents, and you didn’t love him. I know he began to beat you
when you started to refuse him. Then he was drafted. And when
he returned, he started to force you. You left when you found out
you were pregnant.” Esme was silent and looked away as he
spoke. “What you don’t know is that I understand because I was
beaten too.” Esme’s eyes never left his face as he told her his
story, and about his father.
Esme was still contemplative when Carlisle finished his
story. “Edward tried to make me feel better. He told me that he
still has problems when he hears the thoughts of violent people.”
Carlisle nodded. “Just a year before we found you,
Edward and I were in a saloon in California. We were stopping
to complete some business before we headed to Wisconsin.
There was a large man seated in the opposite corner of the
establishment, and I was reading over some documents.
Suddenly, Edward stood up and marched over to the man, and I
could tell by his posture he was poised to kill. I barely made it in
time to catch Edward’s fist before it landed in the man’s face.
The man had apparently marked us as we walked in, decided that
Edward was slight enough to be easily overpowered, and he
planned to break my neck and steal whatever money and
documents I was riffling through. Edward is very overprotective
of me, even though he knows no one can hurt me. But really, he
is overprotective of the innocent, and I am proud of him for that.
And you are the same way, and I love you for it.”

338!
 Esme smiled. “Edward is your son. I would not expect
any less than a principled man. I love him because he
understands my thirst.” Carlisle looked slightly troubled, but
then Esme leaned forward and kissed Carlisle softly. “I love you
because you understand my pain. And no matter where I have
been or what I have done, you still look at me as if I was
sixteen.” Esme smiled.
“Miss Esme Platt,” Carlisle asked.
“Yes, Doctor Cullen?” Esme used a slightly higher
pitched “young” voice.
“Will you marry me?” Carlisle smiled.
Esme was completely shocked. It was such a quiet,
unpretentious, real moment. She nearly fell off his lap, but he
held her steady and laughed.
“You see, even when I propose you can still make me
laugh,” Carlisle chuckled. Carlisle reached into his pocket and
pulled out a red ring box and opened it to reveal a four-karat,
oval sapphire ring nestled in a delicate filigree platinum setting.
Esme laughed and playfully swatted Carlisle’s chest.
Then she kissed him again and whispered “yes” into his ear.
Carlisle slipped the deep blue jewel onto Esme’s finger and
whenever she struggled with her thirst for blood, with anything,
she looked down at her ring, and focused on her passionate love
for Carlisle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

339!
 ~~1925~~
In March of 1925 the Cullens returned to Denali Carlisle
and Esme were married by Wonder Lake in Denali National
Park. Esme was a picture perfect ingénue in French lace and
carrying white tulips, Edward posed as Esme’s younger brother
and gave Esme away, Eleazar was best man, Carmen was matron
of honor, and Tanya, Irina and Kate all threw rice at them.
Tanya had insisted on a cake even though none of them
ate it because she wanted it in the pictures. They had a
photographer come to Tanya’s house and take several posed
frames of the entire family. Carlisle was staring at a five-by-
seven print of the family photo and smiled to himself while he
sat in the small Denali clinic.
“Newlyweds,” Edward chuckled as he walked by
Carlisle, listening to his father’s thoughts as he carried a tray of
surgical tools he had just cleaned. Carlisle smiled and put down
the picture as he walked over to help Edward sort the tools. The
clinic was barely a wooden shack but Carlisle often went out to
the railroad construction project and the mine nearby. Because
there weren’t as many families there weren’t as many everyday
colds and fevers; it was more traumatic injuries and often there
was nothing they could do. Edward was studying by
correspondence but spending most of the daytime hours with
Carlisle. Carlisle was completely enjoying working with his son,
but he had noticed that Edward seemed troubled. He wondered if

340!
it had anything to do with his marriage, and feeling left out, but
Carlisle knew that Edward’s closeness with Esme was rock solid,
and their family unit was sound. It was something else.
Carlisle turned toward the back of the building.
Someone was coming, someone who needed help. Carlisle
moved to the back door and opened it. He looked down the road
and saw man on horseback approaching with a second man
slumped over in front of him. Both men were clearly Chinese
railroad workers. They were both in tattered rags and were
terribly unkempt. The man who was ill had a scar on his right
cheek but that was old and healed; he had many other wounds
for Carlisle to inspect.
Carlisle had no hope of understanding what the first man
was trying to say but all he needed was his eyes to see what was
wrong with his companion. He was dying from exposure,
malnutrition, and obvious abuse. Carlisle was able to ascertain
that their unit was not far, and it was very likely that the first
man had stolen the horse to bring his friend to the clinic.
“The superintendant will come and find them, and very
likely kill them for stealing the horse,” Edward said with his jaw
clenched.
Carlisle stood up and retrieved his hat. “I’m going to talk
to the judge. Do not harm anyone who comes after them, but do
not allow them to be taken, do you understand?”
Edward nodded mutely. He did not often see Carlisle so
upset, but he still wondered if justice would be done in this

341!
situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle and Edward arrived home that evening to find

Kate and Carmen sitting in the parlor with Esme working on
some heavy new sun-blocking drapes for the modest house Esme
had built for the Cullen Family across town. The Denali Coven
preferred to stay outside of human society, hidden away in the
forest. Carlisle and Esme had decided after their wedding that
they would build right near the edge of town and stay for about
fifteen years, which was as long as they could stretch a visit
using gray hair dye.
Carlisle went straight to Esme and placed a kiss on her
forehead then left almost immediately. Carmen and Kate looked
at each other and then looked at Edward and Esme. “They didn’t
feel it, did they?” Kate mused.
Esme’s brow creased. “Feel what?”
Carmen smiled. “Eleazar will be interested to hear this.”
Now Edward was intrigued. “What do you mean?”
Carmen smiled again. “Something happened today
didn’t it? Something affected the humans?”
Edward nodded. “He treated a man from China who was
working on the railroad. He’s been very poorly treated. Carlisle
spoke to the judge and has been considering all afternoon the
ramifications for the rest of us if he pursues pressing charges

342!
against the railroad company.”
Carmen nodded. “Eleazar was wondering, because you
never seemed to notice the last time you were here, Edward, that
Carlisle seems to push his power off him when he’s feeling
empathy or compassion. Eleazar senses that because you were
both made by Carlisle, that you carry some part of his power,
and don’t feel his presence the way we do.”
Edward pursed his lips thoughtfully and looked at Esme.
Esme looked at Carmen. “Does Eleazar have any idea
yet what Carlisle’s power is doing?”
Carmen shook her head. “He says that Carlisle cannot be
put in a category the way he used to classify vampires. All he
will say is, ‘He is changing us.’”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1928~~
Eleazar rubbed oil very slowly onto Carlisle’s father’s
cross. The soft wood was getting older and Carlisle had
instructed him about how to carefully work with the grain. As
they each worked on an arm of the cross, Tanya and Irina walked
up onto Carlisle’s porch.
“Still shining God’s apple, Carlisle?” Irina laughed.
Carlisle smiled as he gently polished the wood grain
with a circular motion. “It’s a cross, Irina, something that has
been used against vampires in the past, my dear.”

343!
 Irina was slightly aghast. “You were a vampire hunter,
Carlisle?”
Carlisle lifted a brow and pulled down his scarf to reveal
most of his livid scar to her. Then he gave her a devilish grin.
“How do you think I got this?”
Eleazar laughed loudly at her shock, “Perhaps we should
start attending church again? I miss the pomp and ceremony and
I haven’t been in decades! Well, since I was married, at least.”
Eleazar smiled wistfully as he dipped his cloth in the oil,
continuing to work on the cross.
“I wouldn’t mention church around Edward, if I were
you, Eleazar,” Tanya said quietly. “He’s been a bit touchy
lately.” Tanya had a slight pout and her tone was irritated.
Carlisle looked up at her and frowned. “Did something
happen?”
Tanya tossed her strawberry curls and sighed. “All I
know is I made a joke that he didn’t like.”
Carlisle’s brows lifted. “What joke?”
Tanya shrugged, “We were out hunting this afternoon,
and he seemed a little frustrated. He was tearing up the animals a
bit more than usual. So I said, ‘Wow, Edward, we’re going to
have to pray for your soul if you keep mangling the little
creatures that way.’ He got all offended and ran off.”
Carlisle stood up, a new feeling of dread growing in his
stomach. “Did he say anything about where he was going?”
Tanya shook her head, “No, he just said he was going to

344!
fill his thirst elsewhere.”
Carlisle waited at home anxiously for the rest of the day.
The others tried to stay with him, but he even sent Eleazar home.
Carlisle sat in the parlor and stared at a book he was not reading,
fighting the temptation to go and search for Edward, but his
resolve to trust his son to work out his own problems forced him
to stay in his chair.
Then suddenly, Esme appeared at the front door with her
arms around Edward and they walked into the house together.
Esme’s eyes were wide and concerned.
Carlisle had already jumped over to them and was
looking over both of them. “Are either of you hurt?”
“No.” Edward’s voice sounded dead, his head and eyes
were down.
Carlisle knew immediately what had happened. He put
his finger under Edward’s chin and when he lifted it up and
Edward looked at his father, Carlisle saw the crimson in his
son’s eyes. Oh, son… My boy… Carlisle moved to put his arms
around Edward, but suddenly Edward jerked out of both of their
grasps.
“I’m not a boy, Carlisle,” Edward snarled, his brows
low, and his eyes narrowed.
Carlisle put his hands down. No, son, of course you are
not. You are a man, and you are the ruler of your own life.
“That’s right, I am.” Edward turned and walked out the
back door of the house.

345!
 Esme reached out to catch Edward’s arm, “Edward,
please!” But Edward did not stop walking.
Carlisle gave Esme a sad look, but she waved for him to
follow their son. Carlisle rushed outside after him. “Edward,
please tell me what happened!” He called.
Edward rounded on him. “I killed that railroad
superintendant! It’s been years and that judge had no intention of
helping you because the railroad company was paying him! I
heard that bastard actually calculating how many more days his
current workers were going to live and he would need a fresh
shipment! I KILLED HIM!”
Carlisle stared at his son’s face, twisted by anger and
anguish. He had known for a long time that Edward was tortured
every day by the onslaught of thoughts he could hear, and that
was in addition to the heightened senses of a vampire. Edward
was pacing and raking his hands through his hair. Carlisle had
never seen him so agitated. I can see you are already suffering
because of what you have done. Please, Edward, let us help you!
“You help fix people! You help put people back together
after they are hurt! What about all of the people that I see who
are the ones hurting others? Don’t you think we have an
obligation to stop them? Is that not also in God’s design? Why
else are we here Carlisle? How else are we to make amends for
who we are?”
Carlisle looked into Edward’s eyes. Carlisle could feel
his pain, and it pierced his cold heart. Edward, we do not have to

346!
make amends to God; we are made by God, all of us. I know that
hearing the thoughts of evil people has been weighing on you
since you were transformed. Your gift is a great blessing and a
great burden. But that doesn’t mean God wants you to be the
judge.
Edward looked back at Carlisle angrily. “Who else will
do it if not us? God has taken our souls away so we can do this.
We are made to kill without remorse!”
Carlisle winced slightly at the words coming from
Edward’s mouth, and he had to force down his panic. He was
losing Edward; he could feel it. Edward, I can promise you, son,
we are not without souls. We cannot lose them because they
never belonged to anyone but God.
Edward shook his head and his eyes narrowed. “Carlisle,
even if you believe that is true, how do you think we fit into
God’s perfect universe? Our instinct is to destroy God’s humans,
to cause pain, to be the most perfect predators of creation!”
Carlisle’s eyes became soft to match Edward’s hard
gaze, and he took a step forward and put a hand on Edward’s
tensed shoulder. I believe we have the same gift of grace God
gave humanity, the ability to choose. We choose to not be
predators. We choose to live among humans. We choose to
preserve our humanity, and thus we serve God, not the darkness.
Edward pulled away from Carlisle. “I’ve listened to
everything you’ve taught me. But I’m going to serve God by
ridding the world of people who serve the darkness.”

347!
 Carlisle reached out and put both hands on his son, his
brow creased in pain. Please! Please, Edward, I don’t want to
see you hurt…
Edward threw off Carlisle’s grip. “Goodbye, Carlisle.”
Edward took three steps backward, then turned and ran off into
the night.
Carlisle stood as still as a statue with his arm out and his
hand curved as if he was still holding his son’s shoulder and a
slightly stunned look on his face. Even when Esme came outside
and tried to coax him in he did not move. Esme wrapped her
arms around Carlisle’s still chest and waited. An hour later they
were still standing in the same place outside on the lawn. Carlisle
finally whispered to Esme, “He’s really gone.”

348!
 CHAPTER 17
~~1928~~

Carlisle carried on, but was a shadow of his former self.

He continued serving at the clinic; but when he left to go home
Carlisle would sit in his office alone, not reading, not speaking,
and not moving. Esme would sit on his lap for hours and he
would hold her close to his chest. She would sometimes have to
remind Carlisle to get up when his eyes turned dark, and he
would comply, but that was all that he would do. Even the
Denali coven was at a loss. Eleazar would come and sit with
him, and sometimes he would talk, but mostly they would sit in
silence.
One afternoon, Eleazar was reading the paper while
Carlisle sat in his chair looking out the window, and then he
suddenly turned to Eleazar.
“How much have you considered there might be some
kind of fatal flaw in feeding only on animals?” Carlisle said with
a slightly haunted expression.
Eleazar put down the paper and leaned back. “I have

349!
always considered it, and I know you have too. I now think it is
more likely than a Volturi genocide.”
Carlisle looked back out the window. “The Denali girls
have lived for nearly six hundred years, but only the last two
hundred on animals, and really only recently exclusively on
animals. Everyone we have met at some point has fed on
humans, except…”
“Except you,” Eleazar said looking down at his feet.
Carlisle’s brow furrowed. “Am I forcing an unnatural
lifestyle on the people I love and leading them to an unknown
fate because of my misguided ideology?”
Eleazar turned his head toward Carlisle. “Edward left
because he is young, and he needs to work out his principles on
his own. What he does is his own destiny. You, my friend, have
a destiny of your own. You have been driving toward it your
entire existence. I have no idea what it is, but you must remain
true to yourself if you are ever to achieve it.” Eleazar stood up
and laid Carlisle’s newspaper on the desk in front of him. “And
by the way, Esme believes in you implicitly.”
That evening Carlisle took Esme by the hand and they
went for a long walk in the woods. They walked to their favorite
tree and climbed up to watch the moonrise.
“Maybe we should move,” Carlisle said quietly.
Esme was quiet, her eyes on the sky, and then she shook
her head. “If he comes back, he needs to know where we are. We
should stay.”

350!
 Carlisle looked at her. “Love, it’s been six months. You
know him as well as I. He is not coming back. And you deserve
more. I want us to have a fresh start. I don’t think we can do that
here.”
Esme was still focusing on the moon and stars. “Where
would we go?”
Carlisle pulled her closer and laid his cheek on top of her
head. “I was thinking about heading back east. New York, New
Hampshire, Vermont, that part of the country has some fairly
good cloud cover.”
Esme sighed. “We are really giving up?”
Carlisle frowned, and his throat closed up slightly, “We
need to respect his wishes.”
Esme nodded. “I’ve never been to New York.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1931~~
Esme whistled as she cleaned another giant pot. She
could not help but enjoy herself because caring for people,
especially children, helped to fill the hole in her heart. Whenever
Carlisle was working, she was at the hospital orphanage.
The Great Depression had left many families homeless,
and parents who were unable to feed their families were
dropping off their children at the orphanage where she worked.
Esme loved to be around people who needed her, and the

351!
children were all drawn to her loving nature.
Esme had taken over direction of the kitchens, Sally ran
the bath and laundry, and a third co-worker named Maxine
planned the education. They were seriously over capacity, they
had beds for fifty, and they had seventy-two; but the women all
had hearts larger than their facility, and turned no one away.
Carlisle and Esme were almost single-handedly funding
the orphanage and were in the middle of constructing a new
dormitory. Their independent fortune had not been terribly
affected by the crash because Carlisle did not trust the stock
market. Most of their money was tied to significant land
holdings out in California and Alaska which he had obtained in
the previous century. Carlisle had sold a deed to a railroad
developer and that single sale was funding all of their
philanthropy. Carlisle’s modest physician’s salary and associate
professor’s position at the University of Rochester afforded them
a small city townhome for two. Their new life had brought them
a level of contentment they never would have thought possible.
Carlisle watched Esme whistle as she rinsed the giant
pot with a small smile on his face. Her caramel hair was swept
back into a small bun, and wavy tendrils were swaying around
her face as she worked. He remembered how her hair looked
when she was sixteen, a long and wavy curtain that covered her
shoulders. Then he remembered her hair twisted up underneath
her cloche hat as they left on their honeymoon after their
wedding.

352!
 “Are you going to watch me all night, or are we going
home sometime soon?” Esme laughed as she continued to scrub.
No one was in the kitchen with them, so Carlisle ran up behind
her with lightning-quick vampire speed and pressed his body up
against hers while kissing her neck softly.
Esme giggled and in a flash had Carlisle up against a
wall but kissed him delicately. “Hmm, I think we had better
escape before one of the children walks in looking for an
evening snack.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1932~~
“I’m sorry, you can’t bring your girl in here,” said an
irritated young man.
“But, sir, she’s had a cough for four days, and she isn’t
getting any better.” A second man’s voice sounded calm, but
held some tension.
Carlisle looked up from the chart he was reviewing and
turned toward the conversation he was eavesdropping on. Then
he turned back to his patient, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Miller, would you
excuse me for just a moment? I have to go and check on a
situation.” He gave her a winning smile and she giggled.
“Of course, Dr. Cullen. Are you still married?” She
smoothed her white curls, and straightened her nightgown.
Carlisle smiled back. “Mrs. Miller, you know you are

353!
next in line, but Esme has me tied down.” He lifted his hand and
wiggled his ring finger.
Mrs. Miller smiled, “I’ll be waiting for you!”
Carlisle chuckled and walked out of the ward. He
walked into the entry hall and toward the back entrance, where
the argument was still taking place. One of the younger
physicians, Leonard Davis, was blocking the way of a well-
dressed, negro man who was carrying his daughter curled up
against his chest. “I just want someone to listen to her lungs so I
can sleep a little better tonight.” He was very carefully
controlling his temper, but Carlisle could hear emotion starting
to creep into his voice.
Carlisle hurried toward them before Dr. Davis could
deny the man at the door entry again. Davis and the man turned
to look at Carlisle as he approached with an air of authority
surrounding him. “Dr. Davis, I believe you are needed in
pediatrics,” Carlisle said with a soft but firm tone.
Davis looked at Carlisle and his brow creased. Carlisle
was a senior staff member, and had the ear of the administration
and the board. Davis, however, made no secret of the fact that he
did not like Carlisle. Carlisle could smell adrenaline in Davis’s
blood and hear his heart rate increase every time Carlisle came
close to him.
On some level, Davis actually knew that there was
something unnatural about Carlisle, as many humans sense that
there was something odd about any vampire. However, Carlisle

354!
was confident Davis had no idea what his instincts were telling
him, and would never believe what he really was even if he
admitted it to Davis’ face.
Carlisle waited placidly for Davis to leave. Davis fumed
but there was nothing he could do to defy him, so he slumped his
shoulders but did not drop his gaze as he passed Carlisle and
walked away.
Carlisle turned to the man still holding the little girl.
“Now, then, please come inside, sir.” He waved his hand and
after a moment of hesitation the man stepped over the threshold.
“Please tell me your name.”
“Gerald Addison, sir,” the man still seemed unsure of
Carlisle.
“Please, call me Dr. Cullen,” Carlisle placed the cool
back of his hand on the little girl’s forehead, “And who is this?”
“Her name is Violet,” Addison said lovingly.
Carlisle placed his stethoscope on Violet’s chest and
listened to her heart, slid it up to the apex of each lung, and to
the sides of her chest. “Tip her up so I can listen to her back.”
Addison did so and Carlisle listened. “You were correct, Mr.
Addison. She has a lobar pneumonia on the left side, and a
significant fever. Would you like to nurse her at home, or keep
her here?”
Addison thought for a moment. “I think her mother will
be more at ease if I keep her at home.”
Carlisle nodded. “I want you to get some buffered

355!
aspirin tablets to control the fever, it’s more effective than other
extracts. Make sure she drinks as much water as possible. Keep
her slightly elevated to help her breathe, and use wet cloths to
cool her down. I’ll need your address so I can call on you and
see how she is recovering.”
Addison nodded. “Number 14 Cherrywood Lane. And
you think she’ll be okay?”
Carlisle nodded. “If we keep her strength up, she will
fight the infection better. And she is young and healthy -- she
will be fine. Tell her mother that too,” Carlisle added with a
smile. “What is her mother’s name?”
“Iris.” Addison gave Carlisle the first smile of the
conversation.
Carlisle smiled back warmly. “You have a Iris and a
Violet. Take care of them both, I’ll see you this evening, around
eight.”
Addison looked into Carlisle’s eyes, staring at them for a
moment, and then he nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Cullen.”
Carlisle knew that he was being thanked for more than
listening to the girl’s lungs, but dismissed it. “I am doing my job,
sir. I’ll see you this evening.”
He cheerfully ignored Davis’s livid glances all
afternoon. And though Carlisle was sure Davis had complained
to the chief of medicine, no one mentioned the incident to him.
Carlisle carried his bag with him as he walked up to the
large, well-appointed house on Cherrywood Lane. The

356!
Addison’s were an older northern family, educated, and with a
reasonably substantial income. Addison’s ancestors were likely
freed men or former indentured servants.
When Carlisle knocked on the front door, a housemaid
answered but a woman in her thirties walked up right behind her.
“Good evening,” he said pleasantly. “You must be Mrs. Iris
Addison.”
She smiled at Carlisle. Her hair was up in a tight bun and
she wore a tailored housedress with an apron, and several small
flowers in her hair. “And you must be the kind doctor who met
my husband today. Please come in.” She took Carlisle’s hat and
coat and handed them to the housemaid waiting. “She is already
improving doctor. She has been drinking and I got her to take
some broth just an hour ago.”
Carlisle sighted with relief. “Well, in that case, this will
likely be a short visit. You have already done my work for me.”
She smiled again and he followed her up the staircase.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day Carlisle noticed Davis talking with a few

of the other physicians on the other side of the ward and listened
in.
“That colored man took a job from my brother. It’s not
right,” Davis said angrily.
Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment, and then made a

357!
note of the others involved in the conversation: Harold Martin,
Gil Sheldon, and Maxwell King. This situation had suddenly
taken on a different light, and Carlisle’s eyes darkened as the
corners of his mouth turned down. All of them were members of
the local fraternity known for some serious racial crimes,
including a few violent incidents.
Carlisle did some research and learned that Addison had
gone to university for civil engineering and met his wife while in
school. He’d spent years building his clientele, often fighting
prejudice; but he had developed a reputation for fairness, hard
work and uncompromising quality. More and more firms were
hiring him for short jobs at a good price. Recently, however,
Addison had outbid several firms, including Davis's brother, for
a job with the city that had been the last straw. Those firms and
their rough employees were now venomously angry with
Addison. Carlisle could not understand how such a grievance
could translate to violent intent, but he had seen mistreatment of
non-whites over and over through history. It reminded him of the
wars of power between Catholics and Protestants, and it
reminded him of his father. Intolerance in any era was still
intolerance. And he could hear in his mind Edward’s reprimand,
“Do we not also have an obligation to stop the ones hurting
others?”
Carlisle shadowed the group after he left the hospital. He
could feel that the tenor of the enmity was rising, and he did not
have time to warn Esme. She was not going to be happy, but

358!
lives were at stake and he had to act.
He timed his visit to Addison's house to be sure that he
would be present just before the mob arrived. He did not want to
give Addison a chance to send him away.
Addison answered the door, his face drawn and stressed.
"Thank you for calling again, Dr. Cullen, but I think you should
leave."
Carlisle shook his head, "No, Mr. Addison, I think you
need me to stay more than you realize."
Addison lowered his voice. "Listen to me, Doctor, I've
lived in this city for over twelve years, I know when they mean
business. I really think you should leave, sir."
Carlisle leaned forward, "Please, trust me, I have dealt
with these situations before. And besides I will not renege on my
duty to check on your daughter until she is recovered." Carlisle
looked at Addison and calmly waited for him to relent, and
finally, he did.
Carlisle walked in the front door and immediately saw
Iris wringing her hands. He smiled comfortingly at her, "Good
evening, Iris. How is Violet today?"
Iris’s face was pale, but she forced a smile, "She's…
she's fine doctor. I'll take you up to see her."
"Thank you," Carlisle said cordially.
As they walked up the stairs Carlisle turned his head,
and he could hear the mob a half-mile away, walking en masse,
swearing and shouting. He continued up to Violet’s room.

359!
 She was sitting up smiling and blissfully unaware of the
drama unfolding outside. He listened to her heart and lungs and
let her listen to herself. Then with his acute ears Carlisle heard
Addison downstairs loading his shotgun.
"Violet, I need to go speak with your father. Why don't
you go into your mother’s room and listen to her heart?" Carlisle
picked up the little girl and handed her to her mother. With his
eyes he told Iris to hide, she nodded and turned, motioning for
the two frightened housemaids to follow her.
Carlisle rushed back down the stairs and found Addison
in his study holding a double-barreled gun and looking out his
window. “They are almost here,” he said, his voice harsh.
Carlisle walked up to him and waited for Addison to
look at his calm, luminescent face. “They won’t act until they
work themselves up to a certain level. All we have to do is stand
up to them.”
Addison’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “Seven years
ago, a friend of mine… these same people…”
“I need you to promise me something,” Carlisle put a
cold hand on Addison’s shoulder. “You must stay in this house.
No matter what I say, no matter what they do, you stay in this
house. Protect your family.”
Addison’s brows came together and he looked intently at
Carlisle. “Doctor, what are you going to do?”
Carlisle merely smiled. Then he turned and walked
outside. “Bar this door behind me, Addison.”

360!
 “Doctor, I – ”
“Addison, don’t argue with me now!” Carlisle could
already see the torches of the mob. He slammed the door behind
him, and then walked up to the edge of the porch and leaned
against one of the columns, waiting. He heard Addison shoving a
chair up under the door handle and cocking both barrels of his
shotgun.
It took another ten minutes for the entire group to reach
the house. There were about sixty men in all. The men in the
back were shouting. If Carlisle had been human his heart would
have beaten faster and faster as adrenaline pushed him. Instead,
he was a picture of calm. He did, however, feel something within
himself; something was building, and it wasn’t anger. The men
up front held weapons and glowered sternly at Carlisle. Carlisle
merely looked back at them, waiting to see who would make the
first move.
Finally, Maxwell King took a step forward and pointed
at Carlisle. “Cullen, what are you doing here?”
Carlisle folded his hands behind his back. “I am
checking on my patient. What are you doing here, Maxwell
King? Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?”
King frowned at Carlisle. “We want to talk to Addison!”
There were shouts of agreement.
Carlisle shook his head. “Addison is tending to his sick
daughter, a little girl who is nine years old.” Carlisle emphasized
the age loudly. “He also has a son who is five, and a baby

361!
daughter who is almost two.” Carlisle narrowed his eyes at the
crowd which was growing more and more quiet. “Would you
gentleman like to talk to them too?”
“Don’t meddle in things you don’t understand Cullen!
You’re not from around here!” Someone from the center of the
crowd shouted. Carlisle knew who it was.
“Davis, I may not be from around here, but I know a
mob when I see one. And I refuse to let you terrorize a man who
as done nothing but conduct himself, his family and his business
in an honorable manner.” Carlisle folded his arms over his chest,
daring them to defy him.
Suddenly, a younger man, no more than sixteen walked
out of the crowd with his torch in hand toward Carlisle. Carlisle
turned his head slightly, assessing his actions, but then he saw
sadness in his eyes, and he stopped at the foot of Addison’s
stairs. Carlisle saw in this young man’s expression a shadow of
himself at that age, unwillingly taking part in his father’s witch
hunts, struggling to hold his torch aloft, feeling the eyes of God
on him. Then the young man turned and faced the mob with his
arms crossed like Carlisle’s.
“Sam, what are you doing?” a middle-aged man said
angrily.
“This is wrong, Pop. Momma thinks so, and I agree. You
dragged me here, but I’m not going through with it,” Sam
shouted back with a wavering voice, but stating his position with
conviction.

362!
 Carlisle’s jaw clenched slightly as he felt a connection
that this young man would never understand. Only a person who
has seen both the good and bad in the world and lived to tell the
tale can feel the exquisite pain of watching a younger person go
through the exact same pain and trials they have suffered. In an
effort to bolster the young man’s confidence, Carlisle stepped
down two of the four steps, closer to his new supporter, and then
lifted his chin and stared down the crowd. He could feel what
was building inside him was growing larger.
Maxwell King fumed. “We’re not leaving until we see
Addison, so you’d both best step aside!”
“Maxwell, unless you want to explain to the board of
directors, I think you had better leave,” Carlisle said with quiet
authority. “And that goes for you too, Davis, Sheldon, and
Martin. And you, Matthews, you are a lawyer, and you, Hall, are
a city councilman. I know all of your faces. If this boy’s family
disapproves, I can guarantee that I can find a thousand more in
Rochester who will disapprove of any names published in the
paper about this incident.”
The crowd was starting to falter, and Carlisle could tell it
was time. Carlisle raised his voice, and pushed his words and the
energy that had been building in his chest out into the crowd. “If
you have any shred of humanity left in you, leave this man’s
family in peace!” The humans did not realize what was
happening, but they felt something as he spoke; some even took
a step backward. Even Sam turned to look slightly aghast at him.

363!
After a moment of stunned silence, the crowd slowly began to
dissipate.
Carlisle sighed with relief. It was the first time he had
tried to push his power outward, willingly. And it had worked,
perfectly, on a crowd of humans.
As the last men left, Sam finally looked back at him
again, but seemed too awestruck to speak, so Carlisle smiled at
him. “Well, young man, I think it may take you a few years to
appreciate how important you were tonight.”
“Dr. Cullen, how did you do that?” Sam said quietly.
Carlisle shrugged, “Do what, son?”
Sam gestured toward the space in front of the house.
“How did you talk them out of it? Even when I came over here, I
was expecting at least a fight, or something!”
Carlisle nodded. “The psychology of a mob is
immorality by anonymity. When you turn the mob into
individuals, and their target into a sympathetic human instead of
a monster, they fall apart.”
Sam frowned because he knew there was more to it, but
he nodded. Carlisle smiled. “Would you like to come in?”
Sam took a step back. “No sir, I think that might be a
bad idea.” He looked at the ground; he had crossed a line with
his father but he was not prepared to go any further.
Carlisle nodded, “All right, son. But if over the next few
weeks you need a friend, come and find me at the hospital.”
Carlisle hoped that he was right and the only lashing this young

364!
man would receive would be from his father’s angry tongue.
Sam looked up again and smiled slightly, “Yes, sir.”
Then he turned and walked away down the lane.
Carlisle watched Sam disappear into the night and then
walked onto the porch and reached the front door just as Addison
opened it.
Addison looked at Carlisle carefully. “Dr. Cullen, I have
to ask you the same question. How…?”
Carlisle waved his hand. “Words are mightier than the
sword.”
“That is ‘the pen is mightier than the sword,’” Addison
corrected.
Carlisle chuckled. “Of course, sir. And fear is a powerful
ally as well.”
Addison nodded, but his brow crinkled and his dark eyes
probed deeply. “But just now, I felt something. Something
changed. I didn’t feel fear…”
Carlisle smiled. “No. But I hope they felt just a moment
of compassion. It was enough.” Carlisle let the meaning of that
sentence hang in the air. “Take care of your family, and call on
me at the hospital anytime you need my help.” Addison nodded,
and watched Carlisle calmly slide his hands into his pockets and
walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

365!
 ~~1933~~
Carlisle was packing up his briefcase for the evening
when there was a delicate knock on the door.
“Come in,” Carlisle said as he continued to collect his
files and organize his desk.
A well-dressed woman with blond hair and large blue
eyes walked in with an air of superiority which immediately
amused Carlisle. “Good evening, Doctor Cullen,” she began with
refined diction. “My name is Emiline Hale, and I apologize for
my late call, but I have been immensely busy with my duties for
the Lady’s Aide Society today. I wondered if you might come to
our benefit with your wife this spring. We are looking for new
table sponsors, and I have been trying to get your wife interested
in the society for years now.” There was a trace of irritation
sneaking into her tone, but her speech well practiced and
theatrically delivered.
Carlisle bowed slightly. “We would be honored to
attend, but I fear Mrs. Cullen has many commitments already.
She may be hard to convince.”
Emiline was clearly not to be defeated. “Of course, but
she has not met me yet.” Then she tilted her head slightly. “I’ll
expect you then on May 23rd?”
Carlisle nodded, “Until then, Mrs. Hale.”
She nodded back, but did not turn to leave. “I wondered,
Dr. Cullen, if I might trouble you for something else for myself.”
Carlisle looked up from his briefcase which he had just

366!
closed. “Are you ill, Mrs. Hale?”
Emiline tilted her head slightly again. “I have some
severe headaches, Doctor.”
Carlisle regarded Mrs. Hale again, and his brows came
together slightly. “I’m afraid I do not understand.”
Emiline shrugged. “Mr. Hale has proposed a marriage
for our Rosalie and it is to a good family. Rosalie seems happy,
but I have been getting headaches from the stress of all of the
wedding arrangements. I want Rosalie to be content, and I want
her to be married before she turns nineteen. I think some
morphine would help me immensely.”
Carlisle now understood perfectly. “Mrs. Hale, I’m
afraid the administrators here at the hospital have determined to
restrict access to morphine to only post-surgical patients and
patients with malignancies. I cannot help you.”
Emiline was now perturbed but quickly recovered her
features into the mask of perfect grace which she meticulously
maintained. “Well, then thank you for your time, Doctor.” Then
she turned and left without a backward glance.
Carlisle waited long enough for her to make her way
down the hall with her tiny steps so he would not have to run
into her as he left. Esme was waiting outside, and she could wait
just a few more minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

367!
 Esme tore around the curves in the road, her hair and
scarf flying, a broad smile on her face. The Bentley Blower
roared as she pressed harder on the gas and gravel and dirt flew
behind her. The Bentley was the first racing car Carlisle had ever
bought, and Esme had been intimidated at first. Now Carlisle
could barely get Esme to drive him to work, and she never let
him behind the wheel.
Esme pulled in front of their brownstone and parked.
Carlisle smoothed down his blonde locks and chuckled to
himself as he swung open the passenger side door. Esme seemed
to be in a hurry. She jumped from her seat and ran ahead of him,
pulling her scarf off her head, and flipping off her driving gloves
as she reached for the door with the key in hand.
When she unlocked the front entrance she waved at him.
“Come on!” She was smiling broadly and giggling.
Carlisle grabbed his hat which he had removed so it
would not fly away due to Esme’s exuberant driving, retrieved
his brief case from the back seat and then took the steps two at a
time. Esme was already through the entryway. By the time
Carlisle was at the door Esme was half way through the house.
Now he was certain she was leading him somewhere.
“What possible reason could you have to give me a
surprise?” Carlisle called after her as he dropped his briefcase
and hat.
“You’ll see!” Esme called back at him.
Carlisle zipped at vampire speed through the house to

368!
catch up to her, running out the back kitchen door into the back
yard. Esme had flown through the garden and was now standing
next to the garage that faced the driveway to the street behind the
brownstones. She was grinning broadly at him. “Come over here,
love!”
Carlisle chuckled. “Should I close my eyes?”
She giggled. “There’s no need, it’s covered up.”
Carlisle turned the corner and saw that there was a car
covered with a tan tarp parked in front of the garage. Carlisle’s
jaw dropped. “What have you done?” A large grin spread across
his face as he chided her.
Esme laughed out loud. “The economy is recovering and
you got a promotion. Since you defended Addison, your practice
has tripled and our orphanage has all the funding it needs. You
deserve a reward, especially since I stole your first car.”
Carlisle leaned down and grasped the corner of the tarp,
then flipped it off the entire car in one graceful motion.
Underneath was a cherry red 1933 Alfa Romeo 6C 1750 with tan
leather upholstery. Carlisle swept his eyes across the entire car,
and then gently ran his fingertips over the soft leather of the
seats.
“Oh! If you don’t take it out for a drive immediately, I
will!!” Esme hissed.
Carlisle laughed and kissed the pout on Esme’s lips, then
swung the door open and bent down, way down, as he eased into
the driver’s seat. He stretched his long legs out and pumped the

369!
gas pedal, then with his foot on the brake, he turned the engine
and it purred for him.
Carlisle looked up at Esme with a smile of pure joy
spreading across his face, and she leaned over and kissed him
again. “Have fun, love!” Then she turned and skipped back into
the house as Carlisle backed out of the driveway.
Within fifteen minutes Carlisle was in the countryside
and opening up the cylinders. This was a real racing car, after all.
As Carlisle drove he began to marvel at the modern age he was
now living in. He was a long way from seventeenth century
England.
Driving past deep groves of trees, he was reminded of
living in the forest after his transformation. He flew past country
churches and was reminded of the small church of Father Auer
outside of Vienna. As Carlisle drove back into town he was
reminded of the edges of Boston. Then, as he pulled back into
the driveway of the brownstone, and wiped down the beautiful
new car with care, he smiled to himself thinking, I might actually
be able to go on without… him.
“Please tell me you didn’t mean that,” a soft voice
replied.

370!
 CHAPTER 18
~~1933~~

Edward stepped out of the shadows and walked across

the garden until he was standing directly in front of Carlisle. He
looked disheveled and was wearing a black tuxedo with no shirt
and no shoes. His eyes were on the ground. Carlisle stared at
him, completely stunned, his mind blank.
“Please… tell me you didn’t mean what you just
thought,” Edward pleaded without looking up.
Carlisle continued to stare at Edward, his lips slightly
parted with shock, and both his mind and body frozen. The
moment stretched into an eternity and Edward’s brow began to
crease as the young man began to fear that his father would
reject him. Carlisle saw the deep lines of pain appear on his
son’s face and suddenly he was back in control of his limbs. He
reached out and put his hand on Edward’s shoulder in the same
place he had put it when Edward walked away from him five
years prior. Son, I never tried to live without you by choice.
Edward nodded with his eyes closed, and then he

371!
grimaced and his breath hitched so Carlisle pulled his son into an
embrace. Edward buried his head in his father’s shoulder and
began to sob. Carlisle held him for over an hour as he leaned on
Carlisle physically and emotionally. When he finally regained
some measure of control, Carlisle broke the embrace.
Do you need me to take you to hunt? Are you physically
okay? His concerned eyes swept over his son’s body quickly
looking for new venom scars or evidence of trauma.
Edward shook his head with his eyes still on the ground,
“I’m fine.”
Carlisle sighed. Let’s go inside, I’m sure you know Esme
has been pacing by the door this whole time, trying desperately
to leave us alone. Edward nodded.
The moment they were through the door Esme’s arms
were around Edward, and she kept at least one hand on him as
she brought him inside, found some clothes for him from
Carlisle’s closet, and then showed him the bathing room. She
finally had to let him go long enough to clean up and change.
Then her hand was back on him as soon as he emerged, and she
proceeded to talk for hours bringing Edward up to speed on their
life.
Edward listened intently, his hand covering both of
Esme’s tiny hands as they grasped his arm, and Carlisle
interjected points into Esme’s narrative, but Edward still kept his
eyes on the floor. Carlisle had kept his thoughts focused on
Esme’s story for most of the evening, but finally sometime

372!
around dawn, Carlisle thought to himself, Please look at us, son,
we want to see your face.
Edward finally lifted his chin for the first time, and
Esme stopped talking. Carlisle and Esme both looked intently at
Edward’s eyes, but they were not blood-red, they were deep
black. Carlisle leaned forward, “Edward, we should take you
hunting, you must be starving!”
Edward looked over at Carlisle with a tormented
expression. “I tried… I tried to feed. I picked the perfect human,
a murderer, the lowest fiend I could find. And they were
everywhere. Humans’ thoughts are so dark.” Edward’s brow
creased again.
Carlisle frowned. “Surely, you can see that there are
more shades of gray in people if you can read their thoughts,
son? Not everyone is all dark or light.”
Edward looked knowingly at his father. “Carlisle, you
have too much faith in people. Most people start with very dark
thoughts, then they censor themselves. But when they speak they
still have those dark thoughts even if it is not what they say out
loud. Good people will censor themselves again in their own
minds. But most of us harbor those selfish, angry, evil tendencies
and even fester in them.”
Carlisle leaned forward onto his knees and kept his eyes
on Edward, but did not bother to contradict him because while he
chose to think better of humanity, there was an element of truth
to what he was saying.

373!
 “I wandered through each city and town, never making
contact with anyone except my victims. I would take them down
before their premeditated crimes occurred and I thought for a
time that I could handle their final thoughts of horror. But
then...” Edward’s face fell and he paused. Esme tightened her
hands on Edward’s arm supportively.
“A week ago, I was in a bar, watching the patrons from a
shadowed corner and I found a man who was drinking whiskey
and mumbling about his cheating wife. He hated her deeply, and
was planning ways to kill her. I waited for hours before he
finally stumbled out the back door of the bar and vomited in the
alley. I grabbed him by the jacket and jumped to the top of the
building, and then I sank my teeth into his neck. But as his life
was draining away, his final thought was a prayer to God.”
Edward’s lips trembled slightly and he grimaced. “He asked for
forgiveness for his thoughts of killing his wife. He told God that
he hadn’t meant any of it, and in his last thought he prayed that
their son would be okay growing up – without a father.” Edward
dissolved into sobs.
Carlisle looked at the floor as Esme tried to comfort
Edward.
“After that every time I took down another victim I saw
your face! They had your face!” Edward looked up at Carlisle,
his brow creased. “And the next one, the same thing happened!
And the NEXT one!” Edward rubbed his eyes with the back of
his hands.

374!
 Esme curled one arm around Edward’s elbow and laid
her head on his shoulder, her eyes looking to Carlisle, pleading
with him to say something. But Carlisle knew that there was
nothing he could say to comfort Edward, so he simply said, “Go
on, son.”
Edward dropped his hands from his face and sighed. “I
thought that I was going to save humanity from itself. I thought
my gift of reading the intentions of humans was infallible. I
thought that if I was strong enough that I could use my gift to
stop the suffering. I thought that if I drank human blood that I
would find that strength.”
Suddenly, all of Carlisle’s doubts about what he had
taught Edward and Esme flooded his mind. He worried that he
had done something unnatural and perhaps even dangerous. It
broke his heart to think that he might have caused Edward’s
current pain. Carlisle felt his brow crease and he covered his face
with both of his hands and sighed.
“Carlisle, don’t ever doubt that you did the right thing,”
Edward said with a clear voice. “Ever.”
Thank you, son. Carlisle nodded, but he could not banish
every doubt that had filled his mind since the moment he had
changed Edward.
Edward heard the undertone in Carlisle’s mind. Carlisle
started to stand up, but Edward stood too and pulled Carlisle into
another embrace. “The only time I have ever felt like I actually

375!
had a soul was with you. Both of you.” Edward said quietly,
referring back to their final argument.
The embrace caused a flood of emotions even more
overwhelming and Carlisle finally wrapped his arms around his
son and lifted his eyes to see Esme. Her hands were folded in
front of a wide smile and her tiny body shook slightly as she
cried with tearless joy. Carlisle smiled at her as he tightened his
left arm around Edward, and lifted his right hand to Edward’s
caramel-colored hair. Their family was complete again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edward decided to start at The Harley School in college

preparatory classes where he was introduced as Esme younger
brother from Wisconsin. To help with the transition back into
human society Esme bought season baseball tickets for her boys.
Carlisle sat in Red Wing Stadium and wrote on his
scorecard. Edward sat next to him silently watching the game.
“The Red Wings were bought by the Saint Louis Cardinals a few
years back, but the triple-A players are very talented, and it’s
been interesting watching them grow up to the big leagues,”
Carlisle said as he looked up again at the field.
Edward merely nodded, and kept his eyes on the field.
Then he turned his head slightly to the right. “Who is the King
family?” Edward spoke quietly and quickly, so that no one even
sitting next to them could hear him.

376!
 Carlisle frowned. Maxwell King was one of the
ringleaders of the lynching mob I stopped. They are an old
prominent family, high in society. Maxwell’s nephew, Royce, is
engaged to be married sometime in the near future, I believe,
why?
Edward grumbled. “There are a lot of people here who
think very highly of you, and are wondering who I am. But
someone who is friends with Royce King just considered
breaking your jaw as a wedding gift to the King family.”
Carlisle chuckled quietly. Unless he has a tire iron in his
hand, I’m not concerned, Edward.
Edward shook his head. “Does anything ever concern
you, Carlisle?”
Carlisle smiled, and then he projected to Edward a few
of his concerns that morning: how the community was going to
react as word spread about Edward, how his bone cancer patient
was going to react to the amputation he had performed that
morning, how the board would replace him if they decided to
move again for Edward’s benefit, whether the construction
project in downtown was going to disrupt sewage lines and cause
a public health hazard…
“I get the point,” Edward was amused.
And you thought nothing fazed me? You of all people
should know better. Carlisle chuckled again.
Edward nodded and then frowned deeply. “I should have
known better. You were right, Carlisle.”

377!
 Carlisle realized Edward had changed the subject of
conversation and looked sideways at his son. Please, don’t judge
yourself too harshly, Edward. You also know that I am still
learning… as you are.
Edward sighed. “I know, I just have to prepare myself
for a few centuries of catch-up learning.” He turned toward
Carlisle and gave him a lopsided smile.
Carlisle smiled back. You really are staying?
Edward nodded. “I think if I ever left again, Esme would
hunt me down herself and tear me apart on your behalf.”
Carlisle chuckled again and began to write again on his
scorecard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later Carlisle heard Esme and Edward

laughing in the parlor. He knotted his necktie and slipped on his
jacket and then picked up two wrapped parcels he had hidden in
his bureau drawer. He took the stairs two at a time and before he
could walk into the parlor Edward called out to him.
“Carlisle has a surprise and he’s really excited about it,
but he’s hiding what it is from me pretty well,” Edward laughed.
“I perfected that technique a long time ago,” Carlisle
chuckled. He walked into the parlor and found Esme drawing in
her sketchbook, and Edward working on a new piano
composition. He handed one box to Esme and kissed her on the

378!
forehead, and then tossed the second at Edward who caught it
with one hand.
Esme giggled and pulled the blue bow off the box and
lifted the lid. Inside was a black velvet sack. She gently pulled
on the sack strings and revealed a sterling silver bracelet.
“Carlisle, it’s beautiful!” Then she turned it over and saw the
bangle was adorned with a large family crest also made from
silver and with black painted detail. “Carlisle!”
Carlisle nodded, and turned to see Edward had opened
his box too. The crest was fixed onto a thick leather band.
“Hawthorne adopted me into his family by giving me this ring. I
want to do the same for our family.”
Edward smiled as he slipped the leather band over his
hand and Carlisle put the bracelet on Esme’s wrist. “Thank you,
Carlisle.” Esme threw her arms around Carlisle’s neck and
kissed his cheek.
Carlisle smiled at both of them and then walked out into
the entry hall to retrieve his hat, coat and scarf. “I’ll be back in
the morning, my shift ends around 6 o’clock.” He picked up his
keys and walked out the back door.
The air was unusually brisk for an April evening and
Carlisle was certain that he was not going to be able to get away
with driving with the top down on his car for much longer
without people looking at him strangely. He was just about to get
into his Aston Martin when it started to snow. Carlisle looked up
at the snow-heavy clouds and smiled to himself as he reached for

379!
the canopy to pull it up. He took a deep breath of the clean cool
air, and then suddenly he caught the scent of fresh blood.
Someone was in trouble. Carlisle dropped his keys on his front
seat, flipped the cover over his car to protect it from the snow
and ran in the direction of the scent.
Within a few seconds his nose brought him to a stop in a
section of the road that was filled with trees and bushes. Carlisle
turned and heard her shallow breaths. Her crumpled body was in
the shallow ditch next to the road.
Carlisle bent down and turned her onto her back. Her
blonde hair was matted with blood and her face was bruised and
scratched. “Can you hear me?” He could see that she was trying
to focus her eyes on him, but her eyes kept rolling. Her dress and
corset were completely torn apart so Carlisle quickly assessed
her condition and found her body was also covered in bruises
shaped like fingers where rough hands had held her as she
struggled, and she was bleeding from sexual trauma but they had
not stabbed or shot her. He checked her for internal organ
damage and found none. Carlisle pulled her torn skirts over her
shivering body and then laid his coat over her as well. Then he
checked her skull and found the problem. The blood in her hair
was from a severe depressed skull fracture of her left temporal
bone. She was dying.
Carlisle looked down at the girl’s pretty face and saw a
tear rolling down from the side of her eye. In that instant he
made his decision and gathered her up in his arms, keeping her

380!
left wrist in his left hand so he could monitor her pulse. Then he
ran.
When he arrived at home and flew through the house
into the dining room he ignored Edward and Esme’s initial
surprise. “That was fast,” Esme laughed until she smelled the
blood.
Carlisle quickly sank his teeth into the girl’s neck, then
both wrists at the cephalic vein and her great saphenous vein at
the ankle. “Carlisle! What are you doing?” Edward yelled, and
the girl with long blonde hair began to scream.
Carlisle put a hand over her mouth to quiet her screams.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her ear, “It will be over soon, I
promise. You were horribly injured. You were dying. We are
here to help you. You are changing.”
Carlisle picked up her hand and held it as he leaned over
her. Esme joined him and picked up her other hand.
“Carlisle, what were you thinking? Rosalie Hale?”
Edward said in an irritated tone. “I have met her at school, and
she has the most superficial, vapid – ”
“Edward!” Carlisle silenced him with a word. “She can
hear you.” He turned back to Rosalie and apologized again as
she screamed. “I saw what they did to her. I couldn’t just let her
die. It was too much – too horrible, too much waste.” Carlisle
could not banish from his mind the ghastly state he had found
Rosalie in when he arrived on the scene. He could still smell and
identify her attackers. He knew their names.

381!
 Edward wiped his eyes seeing every sickening detail in
Carlisle’s mind. “I know,” Edward sighed.
Rosalie screamed again, and Carlisle swept her
bloodstained hair from her face. “It was too much waste. I
couldn’t leave her,” Carlisle repeated quietly.
Esme reached over and put a hand on top of Carlisle’s
hand. “Of course you couldn’t.” Carlisle looked up at Esme, and
he thanked her with his eyes for her support.
Carlisle whispered into Rosalie’s ear again. “I am a
vampire that takes care of humans. I could not let you die.”
Edward put a hand on Carlisle’s shoulder. “People die
all the time,” Edward said with a flat voice.
“I am well aware of that, Edward,” Carlisle said plainly.
“Don’t you think she’s just a little recognizable? The
Kings will have to put up a huge search – not that anyone
suspects the fiend,” Edward growled.
“The Kings are not our concern,” Esme said with
determination. Then she got up and returned with a washbasin
and began to wash the dirt and blood out of Rosalie’s matted hair
with tenderness. Carlisle loved seeing that motherly expression
on Esme’s face.
“What are we going to do with her?” Edward said in a
resigned tone.
Carlisle was helping Esme by washing Rosalie’s
trembling arms with a cloth and he turned to Edward. “That’s up
to her, of course. She may want to go her own way.” Carlisle

382!
looked back at Rosalie and then put down her arm. “We’ll see
what she decides when the transformation is over.” Then he
leaned over Rosalie again and began whispering in her ear. “We
are going to take care of you until you can decide what you want
to do. You are free now to decide.”
A little less than two days later Edward walked into the
upstairs bedroom where Carlisle had moved Rosalie and brought
several milk bottles full of animal blood. “It’s just a quick taste
to hold her until we get out of the city. Then I’ll take her
hunting.”
Esme had just finished redressing Rosalie in a clean
housedress, and she stood up and walked over to Edward. She
pulled his head down and kissed him on the cheek. “That’s my
boy,” she smiled.
Edward smiled back, “Thanks, Mom.”
“Mom?” A weak voice came from the bed.
Esme rushed over and put a cool hand on Rosalie’s
forehead, which now as cool and hard as Esme’s hand.
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?”
Rosalie opened her eyes, and bolted straight up panting
with fright. The blood-red color was a shocking contrast to her
white skin and golden hair. She turned toward the sound of
Esme’s voice. “My mother isn’t here is she?”
Esme shook her head. “No sweetheart, she’s not.”
Rosalie turned toward Carlisle, who stood on the other
side of the bed and blinked when she looked at him. “You were

383!
telling the truth weren’t you, Dr. Cullen?”
Carlisle nodded. “Yes, Miss Hale, I was.”
Rosalie looked directly at Edward. Her eyes narrowed
slightly at his completely disinterested gaze. But then he lifted a
milk bottle full of blood. “This is for you.”
Rosalie grimaced slightly then her new instincts awoke
and she realized how thirsty she was. She grabbed the bottle and
downed its contents. As she licked her lips her eyes softened.
“Thank you.” Then she frowned slightly. “You look at me like
you are my brother.”
Edward paused for a moment, and looked over at
Carlisle, then he looked back at Rosalie. “I am your brother.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle began making plans to relocate the family

because Edward was right; Rosalie could never reenter
Rochester society. While that process was in the works, Esme
decided to quit her job at the orphanage so she could stay home
with Rosalie and help her adjust. Carlisle was very thankful that
Esme took such an interest in bonding with their newest female
family member. Rosalie clearly needed a motherly touch, and
her trauma was in many ways worse than what Carlisle himself
had endured and very similar to what Esme had endured for
years.
The King family and the Hale family instigated a search

384!
and, naturally, nothing was found. Though it pained Rosalie to
see her parents upset, she knew Carlisle was right and it was best
that she simply disappear. Edward and Carlisle had cleaned the
scene of the crime thoroughly, and incinerated any evidence in
the hospital furnace.
Two days later, however, a young man named John
Gordon, the eldest son of a wealthy family, was found dead after
accidentally falling down the stairs in the family home and
breaking his neck. The next day, another young man from a
wealthy family, Peter Johnson, fell out a window and broke his
neck. And the next day, a young man from the Michaels family
died from a fall off a horse.
When Carlisle got home that night he went up to
Rosalie’s room and knocked on her door.
“Come in, please, Carlisle,” Rosalie said graciously.
Carlisle opened the door and found Esme was already
sitting on Rosalie’s bed. Carlisle stepped inside and leaned
against Rosalie’s bureau. “I have inspected each body. None of
these deaths were accidental.”
Rosalie nodded, “Of course not.”
Carlisle frowned. “You realize that you are forcing us to
move faster to leave the city.”
Rosalie nodded again. “Edward said that he did not have
a problem with it. And when he saw my memories, he said he
had to stop watching to prevent him from doing it himself.”
Carlisle sighed. “So you do understand the concept of

385!
control.”
Rosalie stood up was mildly contrite. “Of course,
Carlisle. I swear have not spilled a drop of blood.”
Carlisle’s brows creased slightly as he looked deeply
into her eyes. “Tomorrow would have been your wedding day.”
Rosalie’s jaw set and she looked away. “Yes, it would
have been.”
Carlisle nodded. “You have something planned for
him?”
Rosalie looked up at Carlisle, and then her eyes slipped
left toward Esme, who said nothing. Rosalie finally nodded,
“Yes, I do.”
Carlisle looked over at Esme, and Esme looked back at
him with unrepentant eyes. Carlisle relented. “We will leave
Rochester within a month. After tonight you will not leave this
house except to hunt and you will do nothing to endanger our
swift and smooth transition. Do you agree?”
Rosalie nodded. “Of course, Carlisle.”
Carlisle nodded, doing his best not to frown
disapprovingly and turned to leave.
“Carlisle,” Rosalie called him back as she walked over
to him. She took both of his hands in hers and looked up into his
amber eyes. “I wanted to thank you, genuinely, for saving me. I
know you understand that I have had trouble – adjusting – but I
thank you for valuing me enough to save me.”
Carlisle put a hand on her cheek and she tilted her head

386!
slightly to lean into the caress. Then Carlisle dropped his hand
and sighed. “And I know you understand that I did not save you
so you could have your revenge. I saved you because you
deserve a better life than the one that ended too soon.”
Rosalie looked up at Carlisle with large, sad eyes, “You
mean… you didn’t… change me for Edward?”
Carlisle’s mouth turned up at the corners. “I hoped you
two would get along, not annoy each other like you seem to; but
no, I know Edward will have to choose for himself, and so will
you. Love is more complex than simply finding someone who is
like you. I learned that the hard way.”
Rosalie’s sadness seemed to deepen. “Will I ever fall in
love and marry like you and Esme?”
Carlisle smiled again. “If you are able to love yourself,
you will love another. And I know you will, because I see you
with Esme and she only connects with loving, caring people.”
Rosalie seemed finally satisfied. “I promise never to be
the reason why we move again.”
Carlisle chuckled. “I have a feeling Edward will collect
on that debt someday.”
Rosalie rolled her eyes. “Of course, he will,” then she
returned to Esme’s open arms, laying her golden head on Esme’s
chest. Carlisle left the bedroom, with a much better feeling than
when he had entered. As he walked through the door, out of the
corner of his eye he noticed white lace of a dress peeking out
from the wardrobe, and he realized that it was a white wedding

387!
gown that had been tucked away out of sight quickly before he
entered the room. Carlisle decided he did not want to query the
purpose of the dress. He walked to his study.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1935~~
“Where is Rosalie?” Carlisle said, looking at the sky. It
was getting late and the morning cloud cover was getting a little
lighter. Carlisle’s conference was nearly over, and the family
was leaving Asheville to head back to Pittsburgh in two days, so
Carlisle wanted to get in one good hunting trip, because it would
be a long time before he could get back to the mountain deer
which were so much more delicious than the field animals he
had to make do with so often while living in a city.
Edward sighed. “I made her mad again this morning, so
she left early.”
Carlisle shook his head at his son. You really ought to
make more of an effort with her, son. She is still adjusting.
“I don’t tease her that much, but this time I was trying to
help her,” Edward said earnestly.
What did you say to her? Carlisle braced himself.
Edward sighed. “I told her to be careful.”
Carlisle blinked. You are going to have to explain why
that offended her. Edward became a little hesitant when he was
about to reveal private information which he had picked from

388!
another person’s mind. Carlisle recognized Edward’s expression
and nodded. If you want to respect her privacy I trust you, son.
“No, it’s not that. You should know what has been going
on, Carlisle. I was chastising her for not telling you sooner.”
Edward put up a reassuring hand when Carlisle’s face fell with
worry. “She’s fine, everything is fine right now.” Edward took a
deep breath and blew it out as he considered how to begin the
story. “The first day we were here do you remember Rosalie
decided to go exploring on her own because she was so irritated
with me?” Carlisle nodded. “While she was out she ran into a
hunting party. There were four mounted riders and one of them
caught her eye. He’s tall and strapping, and has a very puckish
smile. He rides with a rifle, and is the best shot of the group.”
Edward smiled as he saw Carlisle was having no trouble
following what was happening. “She followed them back to their
hunting lodge that first day, and she waited for him to introduce
himself. He did so within five minutes of catching sight of her.”
Edward grinned and Carlisle could tell Edward liked the boy’s
style. “He was a perfect gentleman, called her an angel, and
would not leave her alone until she promised to meet him for
dinner at the lodge.”
Carlisle nodded as he put the pieces together. “Which is
where she went the second evening.”
Edward nodded back. “They have met every day for the
past two weeks. He is from Gatlinburg, and is the third of seven
sons and the favorite in his family. There is a roguish quality in

389!
him that Rosalie enjoys, and something about his hair and
dimples remind her of a boy she loved when she was a human.
But he is also quite attentive and kind.” Edward sighed. “I told
her to be careful, because this morning she was becoming quite
sad about the thought of leaving and never seeing him again.
When she realized I knew everything that had been going on
because I had read it in her mind, she became embarrassed and
angry because she felt she had done something wrong. I told her
no, that she hadn’t; but then I pointed out the reasons why she
could not be with him, and her anger exploded. She took a swipe
at me and then ran into the woods.”
Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment and then sighed.
Do you know where they were heading today?
Edward shrugged. “She had a vague idea that they were
going hunting.”
Carlisle nodded. Well, at least she has found a little
happiness. I trust her to do the right thing.
Edward smiled again. “I never saw her this happy, even
when she was human and just got engaged. And she thought that
was the happiest day of her life at the time.”
Carlisle, Esme and Edward went hunting and Esme
revealed that she knew all about Emmett too. Esme laughed
when she saw the slightly dismayed look on Carlisle’s face.
“Love, you can’t expect to understand everything in the heart of
a modern woman.”
When they moved to Pittsburgh Carlisle had a

390!
beautifully ornate necklace with the Cullen crest made for
Rosalie. She had sobbed when he gave it to her, and hugged him
tightly. For the first time since he had transformed her, Carlisle
felt like he had finally connected to Rosalie’s heart and made her
feel loved and accepted. But things like the story of Emmett
reminded him that she was still closer to Esme, and sometimes
Carlisle couldn’t help but feel a little left out.
Suddenly, Edward stopped where he was and lifted his
head. “No, oh no…”
Esme put a hand on Edward, “What is it?”
Edward turned to Carlisle. “You are about to meet
Emmett.”
Carlisle could hear in Edward’s tone that this was not
going to be a happy meeting. Less than a minute later Carlisle
caught the scent of blood, and soon after he heard Rosalie’s light
steps in the woods as she ran toward them, carrying an enormous
body in her strong arms.
“It was a bear!” she sobbed as she laid Emmett’s
mangled body gently at their feet. Emmett was barely conscious
and gasping for breath, and she knelt and curled her arms around
his head. “I didn’t – I didn’t know what to do! If I killed it with
my bare hands he would have known! I hesitated for one second
and it was too late! It’s my fault!!” She stood and seized
Carlisle’s shirt, “Please! Please, Carlisle! I’ll do anything, just do
this one thing for me! Please!”
Carlisle put a calming hand on her head and she sobbed

391!
against his chest. “He knows you, you need to stay with us.”
Then he moved around her and immediately assessed Emmett’s
wounds. He had large incised wounds down to his ribs across his
back from being clawed, he had large puncture wounds in his
back and chest that were bubbling blood and air where the bear
had bitten him, and he was oozing blood from just under his
clavicle. Carlisle had to work quickly. He tore off Emmett’s
boots and shirt sleeves, putting his bites in the same places he
had for Rosalie. When Emmett began to scream Rosalie cradled
his head in her lap and spoke soothing words to him, sobbing the
entire time.
Every transformation had a unique effect on Carlisle. He
began to understand that no matter what he did to try to ease the
process, every transformation was traumatic. But in his centuries
of experience, most transitions in life were painful, except, oddly
enough, death. He had seen many horrific deaths, but the vast
majority of people simply slipped away quietly. And there was
something about the look of peace on the face of a person who
had just passed that filled Carlisle with a strange sense of
jealousy. He would never know that feeling.
The technique he tried on Rosalie, biting her in several
different major artery and vein groups to spread the venom faster
throughout the body, had effectively made her transformation
faster, and he hoped that it had resulted in less pain. Emmett was
larger and he had lost more blood than Rosalie, and it made his
transformation a little slower than hers. Carlisle carried Emmett

392!
back to the house they were renting and gave him an injection of
morphine which seemed to reduce the pain. But it was Rosalie’s
voice and touch that calmed him the most.
Several days later Carlisle found Emmett standing quite
still with his arms crossed on the front porch of the house
looking out at the North Carolina Appalachians. They had
extended their stay a few more weeks, though Carlisle was
leaving in the morning for Pittsburgh because his commitments
would not wait.
Carlisle walked up behind Emmett and stood next to
him. “Amazing isn’t it? The difference in the colors you can see
as a vampire is uncanny.”
Emmett chuckled. “Not just the colors. I can see and
hear every animal in a three-mile radius. It’s almost deafening.
Where is the sport in that now?” He lifted a brow.
Carlisle smiled. “I know you were a prize-winning
hunter, but I’m sure you will find other activities to amuse you.”
Emmett lifted a brow. “Like what?”
Carlisle chuckled, then pulled a ball from his pocket.
“Ever play baseball?”
Emmett laughed out loud, disturbing a nearby flock of
geese, which flew away honking in protest. Then he slapped
Carlisle on the back but his newborn strength was too much, and
he knocked Carlisle over the wooden railing and into the mud.
They both laughed, and Carlisle just lay in the mud not even
bothering to try to get up.

393!
 Emmett could not stop laughing even as he apologized.
“Sorry!” Emmett jumped over the railing and stood over Carlisle
and shook his head. “Well, sir, I think I might find competing
against you a little boring too.”
Carlisle lifted himself up, leaned back on his elbows and
smiled. “Oh you won’t be competing against just me. Edward
taught me, and the girls enjoy competing against us.”
Emmett smiled and pulled Carlisle out of the mud,
setting him on his feet. “Something tells me I’m going to like
being a Cullen.”

394!
 CHAPTER 19
~~1937~~

Emmett’s appetite for bears caused Carlisle to move the

family back to the Pacific Northwest. Remembering the vast
coastline he had seen on his ride following the wave of influenza
back in the nineteenth century, Carlisle recalled unparalleled
bear hunting in that part of the country, and wanted to show the
rest of them the clean air and enormous trees. He inquired about
positions in the area and found a young physician working in the
mill town of Hoquiam who needed help. When Emmett found
out there was an town nearby that had burned to the ground a
little over ten years prior called Carlisle, Washington, he
campaigned for a month for them to go and rebuild it.
Unfortunately, Carlisle felt it was a little over the top so Emmett
was overruled – but it became one of Emmett’s favorite running
jokes.
Emmett had an uncanny ability to bring more fun and
excitement into the Cullens’ lives, and even helped Carlisle relax
and enjoy himself a little more. Together Emmett and Esme

395!
made quite a comedy team. Emmett and Edward also became
very close and spent hours competing with each other. One of
their favorites was hunting with just the boys and competing
with Carlisle in hunting skills and speed.
The rest of Emmett’s time was spent making Rosalie and
Esme happy. His charm and liveliness were quite a contrast to
Edward’s quiet, brooding personality and Carlisle’s reserved,
bookish nature, and the girls enjoyed the attention. Within just a
few short years Emmett managed to secure a special place in all
of their hearts. When Carlisle finally received Emmett’s wrist
cuff in the mail from his jeweler back east, the entire family
celebrated.
“For our newest son, brother, and Rosalie’s true love.”
Carlisle smiled when he handed Emmett the box.
Emmett was at a loss for words, and just shook his head
smiling at the new leather bracelet on his wrist. “Thank you,
Carlisle. I never had anything like this given to me before.”
Edward slapped Emmett on the back and Rosalie and Esme both
kissed him on the cheek.
Then Emmett smiled at Rosalie. “Rosie, I think this is a
good time to talk to you about something with the whole family
here.”
Rosalie beamed broadly as Emmett got down on his
knee and held out his hand. She daintily placed her left hand in
his. “Rose, Carlisle told me that you begged him to change me.
If it hadn’t been for you, I would have died and never even had a

396!
chance to know what love is. You are my angel, and you and
your family are my life. I want to spend my eternity with you.
Will you marry me?”
Rosalie sighed, and everyone stared. Rosalie was usually
controlled to the point of obsession and rarely showed her
feelings except for a few unguarded moments. But with Emmett
and a happy life stretching out in front of her, she was unafraid
to show them all everything she was feeling.
Rosalie threw her arms around Emmett and whispered,
“Yes to you and yes to forever!”
Esme began to sob with joy and hugged Carlisle close to
her, Edward grinned broadly, trying to avoid listening to
Emmett’s thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1939~~
Edward and Emmett went out hunting one afternoon
when Carlisle left for work. Rosalie and Esme had plans to shop
for some more home-schooling materials at the general store.
They were currently working through eighteenth century French
poetry together and were planning to order more books.
Around noon there was a lightning storm and torrential
downpour that soaked the area and Carlisle was alone working in
Dr. May’s clinic. Suddenly, he looked up from his paperwork
and Emmett was standing there completely drenched with his

397!
arm around Edward who was leaning on him, holding his right
arm close to his chest.
“Carlisle!!” Emmett’s eyes were horrified. “I broke
him!”
Carlisle bolted up and jumped over next to Edward
reaching for his injured arm. Edward grimaced and then cried
out when Carlisle touched his arm. Carlisle pushed down his
panic because he could hear the barely contained terror in
Emmett’s voice. “It’s going to be fine, boys. Just tell me what
happened.”
“There was a hunting party, and one of the men sliced
open his arm, and I couldn’t stop myself – ” Emmett began with
a shaky voice.
Carlisle’s head snapped up and he looked into Emmett’s
eyes, they were crimson. He calmly nodded to his remorseful
son. “It’s okay Emmett, we’ll deal with that in a minute. Tell me
what happened to Edward.”
Emmett picked up Edward and put him on the
examination table and Edward grunted in pain when they laid
him back. “He tried to help me stop, Carlisle! He tackled me
when I went for the first human, but I twisted to the side and
cracked him across the chest with my elbow! Then I killed the
first hunter, but before I could get the second Edward grabbed
me by the head! So I flipped him off of me and tossed him into a
tree before I killed the second hunter!” Emmett’s head was down
with shame.

398!
 “Emmett… it’s okay… I understand!” Edward said
through gritted teeth.
Carlisle removed Edward’s shirt quickly and carefully
by ripping up the sleeves to the neck. He found Edward had a
fine, jagged diagonal crack across his chest from when Emmett
had initially hit him with his elbow, and a slightly deeper crack
in his right forearm from when he had hit the tree. Carlisle could
see that if he didn’t get the arm fixed before he moved it too
much, it could crack apart. Emmett groaned when he saw the
injuries under the examination light and walked away from the
table with his hands raking through his hair.
“Emmett! Calm down, son, these are not bad injuries;
they are just painful.” Carlisle looked down at Edward, “And
fixing them is not going to be pleasant either, I’m afraid.”
Edward grimaced again, “Get me home and let’s get this
over with.” Carlisle helped Edward sit up with a grunt, and
Emmett carried Edward home with utmost care.
Esme was beside herself with worry despite Carlisle’s
reassurances. Rosalie spent all of her effort trying to help
Edward convince Emmett that he was fine. Emmett could not
stand listening when Edward started screaming as Carlisle began
to patch Edward’s cracks and Rosalie had to take him out of
earshot, which was nearly fifty miles away. Carlisle put Edward
in the spare bedroom, which was the only bedroom with a bed,
and sat at the food of the bed reading a book with Esme curled
up next to Carlisle with her head resting on his leg.

399!
 “We are going to have to come up with a different plan
on how to stop Emmett if he comes too close to humans,”
Edward whispered, and then he groaned as he shifted his
position to look at Carlisle.
Carlisle could not help but smile when he looked up at
Edward. “Clearly his strength is going to be an issue. I really
thought it would fade more by this time.”
Esme sat up and turned to Edward, reaching out to hold
his left hand. “You are both going to have to talk to him. He’s
really devastated and Rosalie is only going to be able to do so
much to calm him down.”
Edward smiled. “I swear, Mom, I told him over and over
again as he carried me back.”
Carlisle sighed. “He just needs time, he will be fine. I’m
going to have to look into the matter of the hunters he killed,
however.”
Esme looked back at Carlisle. “They were planning to
clean up the camp site when they went out. That should be taken
care of.”
“It is all done,” Rosalie said calmly as she and Emmett
walked into the bedroom, each carried an armful of glass bottles
full of animal blood. “There was no identifying information on
the hunters, but they did not look like state senators out on a
weekend hunt. We gave them a proper burial the way you prefer,
Carlisle.”

400!
 Emmett handed some warm blood to Edward who drank
every last drop they brought with relish.
Carlisle nodded, “Thank you, Rose. I hope it brought
you some peace too, Emmett.” Carlisle turned toward him, and
Emmett flinched slightly under Carlisle’s gaze. Carlisle frowned.
“Emmett, everyone here has had problems; you are not alone.”
Emmett frowned. “You’ve never killed anyone, Rose
never killed anyone,” he grumbled and looked away.
Rosalie put an arm around Emmett’s waist. “You know
that’s not true. I’ve never tasted human blood, but I’m not an
angel and you know my story.”
Carlisle stood up and put a hand on Emmett’s shoulder,
“We’re going to help you. It won’t happen again if we work
together. Edward and Esme both understand what you are
feeling. Talk to them. We are your family, and we’ll get through
this.”
Edward was fully recovered within a week, but the
family hunted all together or in groups of at least three for until
Emmett’s control improved and his confidence returned. As they
closed ranks their family bonds became even closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several months later on one such family hunting party,

Carlisle was running through the woods of Olympia National
Park enjoying the crisp air against his face. There was a strange

401!
scent on the air and he recognized it, but it was very faint, as if
someone was covering their tracks…
Carlisle was about to investigate when he heard Rosalie
call the group together as they closed in on the herd. Moving as
one, they selected two specific prey and easily took them down.
As Carlisle broke the neck of the first deer and prepared to bite
into its carotid artery, his nostrils were suddenly filled, not with
the scent of blood, but the faint odor he had detected minutes
before which was now multiplied exponentially. And, he
remembered where he had smelled it before: at River Forks.
Carlisle stood up just a moment before the others
detected the new scent, and he had to put his hands up to calm
them because they all instinctively smelled danger. “Stop! I
know these people!” Carlisle hissed.
As the rest of the Cullens relaxed their stance the
Quileute group ran up, then halted abruptly and stood there
staring.
“Cold Ones!” The leader said angrily in his language.
Carlisle put up his hands. “We – not – harm – the
People!” He responded in their language, straining to recall all
he had learned so long ago, and the entire group of warriors
froze in their tracks. Because none of them replied, Carlisle
continued. “I know – Chief Black Fur – I heal – son.”
There was a long silence, and then the Chief suddenly
lifted his spear and took two steps forward. “Cull-en.”

402!
 Carlisle lifted his hands higher, but walked around the
others to stand before the Chief. Carlisle could easily see the
resemblance. “Son of Black Fur – gave me – your words.”
The Chief nodded. “He was my grandfather,” he replied
in perfect English. “He told me the story of the ghostly healer,
the kind Cold One – Cull-en.” Then he took a sniff of Carlisle
and recoiled.
Carlisle smiled. “I apologize for any odor.”
The Chief frowned again. “You are hunting on the
People’s lands. You cannot kill the creatures here.”
Carlisle nodded. “I am certain we can find a suitable
border for an area we may hunt.”
The Chief looked back at his men and then back to
Carlisle. He clearly did not want to discuss the entire matter out
in the open. Such discussions required discretion. “We will
escort you back to the meeting house. We will discuss our terms
as we walk. The council will then decide.”
Carlisle smiled. “Agreed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~1951~~
Carlisle walked casually down the hallway at University
of Pennsylvania. He was starting his MD/PhD program and had
just completed his first meeting with his dissertation committee.
There was one professor that was a department chair who was

403!
definitely determined to make the process difficult, but the rest
of the committee was dutifully impressed with his proposal to
track infection control in the hospital. He would focus on the
surgical department, and naturally it was the chief of surgery
who was resistant to the proposal.
Carlisle felt certain that he would win the man over
because he could tell that he agreed with Carlisle’s ideas, but
Carlisle would have to make the conclusions seem like the
chief’s idea, and very likely give him most of the credit. Carlisle
didn’t mind; in fact, he tried to keep his name out of the medical
journals as much as possible. It would not do for an observant
researcher to realize there was an entry for his name in 1893,
again in 1919, and then again in 1953 when this new project was
completed.
This project was going to take a significant amount of
time, but luckily Carlisle was able to spend time with his family
and wife when most of the world was sleeping. In addition,
Carlisle would not have to do another medical degree for another
forty years. Well, he corrected himself, he hoped that he would
not need to, but recently the volume of medical knowledge had
increased significantly.
Carlisle collected his books from his locker and walked
out to his Aston Martin. His classmates assumed he was from
some kind of old money, and mostly steered clear of him and his
eccentric family. Edward and Rosalie were posing as Carlisle’s

404!
younger brother and sister, and Emmett was posing as Esme’s
cousin by marriage.
That night Edward came into Carlisle’s study. How is
your school, Edward? he asked curiously. One of my professors
gave me a pretty hard time today. Carlisle smiled to himself.
Edward did not immediately respond. He sat down on
the settee in the corner and stared at Carlisle’s book collection.
Carlisle put down the newspaper he was reading and waited
patiently for Edward to formulate his thoughts.
“The biology professor was talking about the definition
of life today.” Edward paused, Carlisle waited. “He said that the
definition of life is biological functions of ingestion and
excretion, reproduction, and sentience.”
Carlisle nodded. You’ve heard that definition before.
Edward pursed his lips. “Do you believe we are alive?
We don’t reproduce.”
Carlisle smiled. Well, to follow the definition, we ingest
blood, we excrete energy, we are sentient self-aware beings, and
we reproduce by injecting our venom into a host. I’d say we are
alive.
Edward considered this, and seemed to accept Carlisle’s
perspective but was still ill at ease. He leaned forward and
looked directly at Carlisle. “I know you believe that we are
created by God, and that we have a place in His creation, but if
our purpose once was to control the population of humans,
which has spun out of control already, and you believe we

405!
should not kill humans, are we a by-product of evolution that no
longer has a place?”
Carlisle looked at Edward closely, appreciating once
again his son’s expanding mind. However, he could feel
something was troubling Edward deeply. His son’s demeanor
was forever changed after his experiences on his own.
Periodically he would bring his questions to Carlisle, but Carlisle
wondered how many questions he did not bring to him. Edward,
I do not believe that having a choice makes us irrelevant. It is the
choice itself that proves our relevance. If we are to evolve, like
every other creature in God’s creation, then biological and
behavioral peculiarities must be given a chance to flourish – or
fail. I believe we are flourishing.
Edward sighed and looked to the floor. “Then is my only
purpose – to flourish?”
Ah, I see. Carlisle frowned. Edward, it took me nearly a
century to find and commit to my purpose. Don’t be too hard on
yourself. You will find your way.
Edward was frowning too. “What is your purpose?”
Carlisle lifted his brows. You know what I believe my
purpose is.
Edward shook his head, “No, not ‘to benefit humans and
vampires,’ your purpose for existing, what is God’s plan, if He
has one, for you?”
Carlisle blinked. I haven’t a clue, Edward. I’m still
hoping that God will reveal that to me someday – if I am worthy.

406!
 Edward flashed a lopsided smile. “Carlisle, if anyone is
worthy of a conversation with God, it would be you,” Edward
stood up to leave. “Oh, by the way, Emmett and I are going
hunting over the weekend. Would you like to join us?”
Carlisle shook his head and sighed. I got past the
doctoral committee today, but I have a lot of typing to do this
weekend.
Edward chuckled as he walked out the study door.
Carlisle picked up his newspaper, but stared at it without reading
it for a while because he was still considering the conversation
with Edward. They had touched on several levels of meaning,
but Carlisle could see in Edward a lot of the melancholy and
loneliness he had felt over the decades. And now he was certain
that Edward was still struggling with his spiritual crisis. The only
advantage Edward had over Carlisle’s experience was that he
was not alone. He had loving parents, a brother and a sister.
Carlisle silently prayed that it would be enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle wrote a letter to Siobhan, banging away on his

typewriter as quickly as he could without breaking the delicate
machine. She had written recently to inquire about Carlisle’s
growing family and to tease him about his sudden change of
heart regarding transforming vampires. She also mentioned that
she had met a fairly reclusive vampire recently who claimed to

407!
know Carlisle. Carlisle’s jaw dropped when he read the name
“Alistair” in her letter. She made a point of stating that Alistair
had not sent him any words of greeting; he had simply said,
“Hmph, animal-feeder. Strange, that one.” Carlisle chuckled to
himself because in his mind he could hear Alistair’s voice saying
those words.
Carlisle paused in his typing to stand up and change the
record playing on his stereo. He had favored Italian opera that
morning. Verdi’s La Traviata had just finished so Carlisle lifted
the needle and slipped Ernani out of its paper sleeve. In the
relative quiet without music while Carlisle placed the disc on the
player, he heard Esme humming a few bars of his last record as
she worked in her study. She was working on some new designs
because they were discussing building a house in the country
where they could more easily do the necessary hunting. He
paused for a moment and smiled to himself listening to her hum,
and then noted that Rosalie was banging away out in the garage,
working on her brand new 1951 Porsche 356. Then he gently
lowered the needle.
Just before the needle touched the spinning disc there
was a sudden knock on the front door. Carlisle’s brows lifted. He
had not heard a car approach, the front gate squeal, or any steps
on the front porch. Edward and Emmett should have been miles
away.
Edward, stop playing games. Carlisle said in his mind
somewhat jokingly, though he felt fairly certain that such

408!
childishness would have been Emmett’s idea, if the boys were
indeed responsible for the phantom knock. Edward? Is that you?
The knocker rapped on the door again, polite, but
definitely persistent. Carlisle put the turntable arm aside and
reached for the door handle to his study.
“He’s coming!” A small female voice said delightedly at
the front door the moment Carlisle put his hand on the door
handle. Carlisle’s instincts were instantly awakened, and he
heard Esme’s pen stop scratching on her sketchpad. It was a
vampire, and he was certain he sensed more than one.
Carlisle’s protectiveness for his family caused him to
bolt down the hall but Esme was suddenly standing in front of
him with a concerned expression on her face. They exchanged
glances as they turned toward the garage, behind the house, and
both realized that Rosalie was no longer making any noise. She
was on alert, and Carlisle sensed she was sneaking back around
the house. He was not really concerned; he knew that they could
protect themselves and they were not out-numbered. But new
encounters with vampires always put him slightly on edge.
“We’ve frightened them,” the small female voice was
now upset.
Carlisle was encouraged by this remorse and, nodding to
Esme, they moved with quick assured movements and were
instantly down the stairs. Carlisle winked at Esme with
confidence and he opened the front door.

409!
 Carlisle smiled good-naturedly at the petite female with
spiky, chin-length brown hair standing on the doorstep holding a
large pale-blue box with a white bow. Then his eyes were
quickly drawn up to the tall, slim vampire with wavy blonde hair
and thick sideburns standing behind her. His skin was covered
with venom marks of war; there was barely an inch that was not
scarred. Carlisle’s right hand unconsciously jumped up to his
neck before he could stop himself, his fingertips running over the
long jagged lines where his neck had been torn apart.
“Please,” the male vampire’s deep voice was soft and
reassuring. He put up his hands and bright vampire venom scars
webbed even his palms. “Please, don’t be apprehensive, sir. I can
see your scars run deep. We mean you no harm.”
Carlisle felt a wave of calm wash over him, and he knew
immediately that one of these two vampires was pushing an
influence on them. One more glance at each of them and he
knew it was the male. Carlisle looked back up and assessed the
young male’s face. “Your gift is some kind of mood influence?”
The male nodded, and sadness emanated from his
haunted eyes. “Yes, sir.” Carlisle saw both of the newcomer’s
eyes were dark, not red.
The tiny female put a reassuring hand on her companion
and then turned back to Carlisle. “He feels the mood, and the
pain of his victims. I can see the future promise of my victims
fade away to nothing as their life drains away.” She turned to

410!
Esme. “Please, Esme,” Esme’s eyes widened as the girl turned
back to Carlisle, “Carlisle, we need your help.”
Carlisle wished once again that Edward were there to
help guide this conversation, but he glanced at Esme and she
smiled. When she smiled he realized that he had actually already
decided to trust these strangers.
Carlisle turned to the two newcomers and stepped back
from the door and gestured for them to enter. “Come in,
Miss…?”
“I’m Alice, and this is Jasper.” As she walked inside the
house she pulled Jasper along behind her.
Carlisle glanced at Esme, but she was looking toward the
end of the hall and Alice had stopped in her tracks. Rosalie was
standing in their path with her arms crossed.
Alice smiled sweetly. “Rosalie, I’m Alice.” She closed
her eyes for a moment, and then looked back to Rosalie. “Your
brothers will be returning in seven hours as long as they don’t
change their minds on which route to take home.” Rosalie
looked to Carlisle for reassurance as Alice continued, “I promise,
you don’t have to worry, we are not a threat to you or your
family. Carlisle wants to hear more about us, and you should
too.”
Carlisle chuckled behind Alice, and she turned to smile
at him. “I already have one family member who can read minds,
am I going to have to deal with another?”
Alice giggled, “No sir, but I know a few things.”

411!
 “Alice, you know my name, call me Carlisle.” Alice
smiled back at him warmly. “Let’s talk in the parlor.” Carlisle
led the way.
Carlisle sat in his leather chair, the one that was closest
to the fireplace. Esme and Rosalie sat on the larger couch facing
the settee where Jasper sat up straight holding Alice close to him.
“Alice, please tell us about your gift,” Esme began
welcomingly.
Alice glanced at Jasper. “I have visions, but I can’t see
the past. When you make a decision, any decision, it makes
waves which change the currents of fate. I can feel those
changes, and if I’m paying close enough attention, I can see the
effects of those changes in my mind.”
Carlisle sat with his legs crossed and his fingers steepled
listening intently. Esme tossed him a glance, and then looked
back at Alice. “So you found us by seeing the effects of some
decisions we’ve made?”
Alice nodded, smiling. “Actually, the first time I felt you
was when you were in Chicago,” she said as she turned to
Carlisle.
“Chicago?” Carlisle’s eyes were now wide because he
did not recognize the scent of either of these newcomers. He had
not sensed many vampires while he was there, and the ones he
did meet thought he was too strange and steered clear of him.
“I was in the city when I felt a very strong change in the
currents, one of the strongest I had ever felt up until then. When

412!
I followed the waves back to the source I found you. You had
decided to move away from the city to make resisting feeding on
humans easier for Edward. You were upset with yourself for
having stayed so long after he was transformed.” Alice’s face
was completely empathetic. “At the time I did not understand
why you would want to live without human blood, but I had only
been changed recently, and I had no guide. I was confused and
angry.”
Carlisle leaned forward, “So you felt the effects of my
decision?”
Alice smiled, “You saved hundreds of lives that day
when you decided to leave.”
Carlisle felt a surprisingly strong sense of relief. He did
not know that every parent goes through the same kind of
heartache that he had with every decision he made for his family,
but with Edward in particular he had agonized over every choice.
He had felt keenly his accountability for making a new vampire,
and that his decision had resulted in a human death. He was not
entirely convinced that he was not going to hell for creating
vampires who have killed. However, he would never regret
transforming any of the members of his family. He simply took
responsibility for all of their transgressions on himself.
Alice reached out and laid her tiny cold hand on
Carlisle’s. “You have no idea how correct you were to make that
choice. The humans who lived because of you will positively
influence human society for generations.” She smiled again. “So

413!
after I saw you that first time, I’d check on you occasionally,
mostly out of fascination. I still did not understand you. As I
wandered my own depression began to get worse, but you were
becoming happier, and happier. You changed Esme, and when
Edward returned to you and you found Rosalie, and then
Emmett, I felt deeper and deeper waves from you.” She glanced
at them all, apparently unsure of how much to tell them. Carlisle
wondered if his family was making waves like the kind Eleazar
had insisted emanated from him.
Alice was frowning sadly as she continued, “Then, one
day I was in a moment of despair, and I saw you had made the
minor decision to spend the day with your family. You were
planning to go hunting together, and the joy it brought you made
me long to feel that kind of contentment so much, that without
realizing it I had decided to come and find you. And the effects
of that choice struck me more intensely than any other I had felt
before.” Her black eyes were wide, and her voice was soft as the
memory filled her mind.
Jasper laid a comforting hand on her arm, and she was
brought back to the present. She turned toward him and smiled
again. “And in that vision, I saw for the first time that not only
was I with your family, I was not alone. Jasper was there with
me.” The happiness of that day caused them both to smile at
each other, and Alice laid her head on Jasper’s shoulder.
Jasper looked up at Carlisle. “She found me here in
Philadelphia a week ago, and literally walked into my desolate

414!
existence as abruptly as we have appeared on your doorstep. She
brought me hope when she told me of you and your family.”
Carlisle’s brows lifted slightly as he uncrossed his legs
and leaned forward. “You want to learn to live like us.”
“No.” Everyone turned toward Esme, who sounded as if
she was denying the request, but then they saw she was smiling.
“No, they want to live with us.”
Esme stood up and took Alice into her arms. Alice knew
that the decision had been made, and Carlisle would go along
with it after he had spent some more time with them. Rosalie
stiffened slightly, but she too had been affected by their story,
and finally she also stood up and offered Jasper a handshake.
Jasper took her hand but turned it backside up and bent
to kiss it. “Miss Rosalie, it’s an honor,” he said nodding to her,
and Rosalie could not help but break into a small smile in return
for any true flattery.
“It’s lovely to meet you both,” Rosalie said graciously
and then she finally smiled down at Alice.
Alice stood up and almost jumped on Rosalie as she
hugged her. “Oh! I have a sister now!” Carlisle saw Rosalie’s
face melt into a genuine smile when Alice used the word
“sister.”
“And two more brothers!” Esme giggled as she squeezed
Jasper’s hand.
Carlisle stood up and everyone turned toward him. “You
need to feed, but would you like to wait for their return?”

415!
 Alice turned to Jasper. His face was tight, but he nodded,
“Seven hours will be fine.”
Alice smiled, “Good! I have to give them their gifts!”
She reached down to where she had set the large blue box and
handed it to Esme. “For our new family.”
Esme smiled and untied the bow on the large box and
Alice explained each gift. There was a set of tools for Esme “for
your next project,” a pearl necklace for Rosalie “for your next
wedding to Emmett,” a fountain pen for Carlisle “for when you
sign your final dissertation,” a new baseball for Emmett
“because he’s going to crush one in our first game as a family
when I strike him out,” and a record for Edward, Jackie Brenston
with His Delta Cats: Rocket 88, “trust me, he’s going to love it.”
Esme smiled when she hugged Alice and Jasper tightly
again. “I’m so sorry we have nothing to give you in return!”
Alice smiled back, “I’d like Edward’s room, please.”
Everyone laughed. Rosalie took Alice’s hand and
grinned broadly. “I know the perfect place for all of his junk.
And I’ll help you move your things in.”

416!
 CHAPTER 20
~~2005~~

TWILIGHT
Carlisle stood on the back deck of his house looking out
over the river. The first meeting of the evening had gone
relatively well and the Black family, the modern descendents of
Black Fur, was still amenable if not entirely friendly. Carlisle did
not blame the Quileute for being cautious and inhospitable since
the Cullens had returned to Forks two years ago; the original
story was, after all, over 150 years old. But they trusted their
own legends which went back over a millennia, and the oral
tradition trumped everything, including modern science.
Carlisle’s dedication to modern medicine was yet another reason
the Quileute mistrusted him.
Carlisle had been called to the territorial border in the
woods because apparently the Elders had been reading the signs
and saw trouble coming. Carlisle had no new information to give
them but conceded that his family was a possible lightning rod
for trouble in the area.

417!
 “Do you know of more of your kind coming to the river
forks?” Billy Black, the current tribal leader, asked with
narrowed eyes.
Carlisle shook his head and his forehead creased with a
small frown. “No, I depend upon Alice to warn us of any
upcoming encounters, and she has not seen anything that would
alarm her. Even if our friends from Alaska came to visit, we
would be sure to warn you and inform them of the treaty.”
Billy still seemed unsatisfied and Carlisle now looked
slightly sideways at him. “Is there any information that you have
and need to share with me?”
Billy looked over at one of the Elders, and then back to
Carlisle who was still eyeing him with a creased brow. “No. We
part in peace.”
Carlisle did so, and jogged back to his house. The
meeting had gone well, but the Elders’ unwillingness to be
completely open with him left him with a lingering sense of
uneasiness.
Then almost as soon as Carlisle arrived back at the
house, he felt the tension level in the house rise exponentially as
his sons and daughters arrived home from school. Without
saying a word, he walked directly into the impromptu second
meeting of the day in his own dining room.
Edward had returned from exile just two before. Being
separated from Edward was something that Carlisle never
endured well, especially when he knew Edward was suffering.

418!
Edward had left because the daughter of the chief of police,
Bella Swan, had tempted his bloodlust like no other human
Edward had ever encountered. It was a torment on the senses that
Carlisle had only felt once before, and he had chosen at the time
to immediately leave the village and never go back. Edward,
however, had chosen to return home. When Carlisle asked him
why Edward was reluctant to explain; so Carlisle was left to
wonder at his son’s motivations, and at his strange insistence that
they stay and not move the family. Carlisle decided to put his
faith in his son and let the matter drop.
Edward’s first day back at school, however, had almost
resulted in Edward breaking the highest law of keeping the
secret. He had saved Bella from being crushed in a car accident
using his incredible speed and strength, and as a result Bella
Swan knew without a doubt that there was something different
about the Cullen family.
The meeting that night in the dining room had not gone
well and had ended on an ambiguous note. Alice had informed
them that Edward was destined to fall in love with Bella Swan
and that she saw two futures: one showed Edward holding
Bella’s lifeless corpse after he had drained her blood, and the
second showed Bella part of the family and transformed into a
vampire. Edward was so distraught by this news he ran out of the
back of the house and jumped the river to be alone.
Carlisle left the dining room after Edward escaped, not
making eye contact with any of his conflicted children or even

419!
with Esme. He slowly walked out the back door and now stood
on the porch looking over the river Edward had just jumped.
Carlisle began to contemplate possible connections
between the two meetings that day. Was the changing destiny of
Edward and this human girl somehow related to the
premonitions of the Quileute? He now realized that what he had
considered to be a private family problem might have been
information he should have shared with the Quileute and could
have prompted them to hold back from him.
The rest of the family was obviously going to be affected
by whatever was in store for Edward, but would that effect be
positive or rip the family apart? Rosalie and Jasper were already
showing significant signs of dissention; both had been ready to
kill Bella Swan to protect the others. Carlisle was deeply
concerned about how easily they had both decided that a human
had to die.
Carlisle bowed his head slightly. He sometimes felt
badly taking Edward’s side on so many of the family arguments,
but Edward was often the most in line with Carlisle’s particular
views on ethical conduct. And he would never agree to ending a
human life for their benefit. He had to find a way to reach out to
Rosalie and Jasper and make them feel validated while
remaining unswerving in his support to Edward.
Just as Carlisle thought about Jasper, the back door
swung open and Jasper walked outside to stand at attention next

420!
to Carlisle. They stood side by side for several moments before
Jasper finally spoke.
“Carlisle, I apologize for my rash judgment,” Jasper
muttered.
Carlisle’s relief manifested in a slight smile, “Jasper, I
know we have a slightly different set of priorities, but you are
the next oldest in this family after me and I respect your
experience and instincts. I only disagree with one thing: killing
to make Alice safe. I truly do believe that we can ensure her
safety without resorting to violence.”
Jasper nodded but he frowned deeply. “I have tried to
use mercy so many times, and it has failed twice as often as it
has succeeded. Carlisle, I cannot live with that chance if Alice’s
life is in jeopardy.”
Carlisle sighed, “I understand, but please believe that I
will defend a human life, any human life, as intensely as a
vampire, especially a vampire from my family. And that includes
you, son.” As Carlisle spoke he felt the familiar warmth growing
in his chest but despite his effort to hold it in check he felt it
expand beyond his body.
Jasper suddenly shifted his weight away from Carlisle,
and he turned his head in Carlisle’s direction.
Carlisle had seen that reaction many times before. He
put his hands up, “I’m sorry, Jasper, I don’t have complete
control over that.”

421!
 Jasper’s eyes were wide. “Carlisle, Eleazar told me
about your gift when we met him back in the seventies, but that
is the strongest wave I’ve ever felt from you. And it – it actually
made me feel different.”
Carlisle’s brow creased. “Different? How?”
Jasper thought for a moment but shrugged. “I’m not
sure. I feel better about the human girl, but I don’t know why.”
Carlisle sighed, “I’m sorry if I made you feel
uncomfortable.”
Jasper shook his head and looked into Carlisle’s eyes,
“No, Carlisle. Alice is my life, but you gave me a home. Living
with your family has made me more content than I ever felt
before in both my mortal and immortal lives.” The sincerity of
Jasper’s expression made Carlisle smile. “I won’t betray that. I
would leave my comfort and happiness here behind before I
would ever betray you.”
Carlisle nodded, “Thank you, son. I can’t tell you how
much that eases my mind.”
Jasper leaned forward onto the railing and Carlisle did
the same. “Should I go after him? Apologize?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No, he needs to work out what
Alice told us tonight on his own.”
Jasper nodded. “And what is your opinion?”
Carlisle lifted a brow. “On what?”
“On Edward falling in love with a human,” Jasper said
with a little tension still in his voice.

422!
 Carlisle sighed again. “I think… that everything is going
to change for us. This situation feels bigger than just our family.
And, I’m afraid that Alice may not be seeing all possible ends.”
Jasper nodded. “Now you understand my dilemma.”
Carlisle nodded in agreement. They stood on the porch
together for several more hours in commiserate silence. Carlisle
knew in his cold heart that the two meetings that day had been
entirely related. He was very troubled by the fact that the
Quileute saw the coming changes as a bad omen because he
trusted their instincts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice was waiting for Carlisle in the entry hall when he

walked into the house from the hospital.
Carlisle lifted a brow. “You have some news?”
Alice grinned. “The weather is just right for a ball
game.”
Carlisle laughed as he walked down the hall and put
down his briefcase. “I caught the scent of that storm.” Then he
looked back at her. “Anything more about the movements of our
friends?” Alice had warned Carlisle that morning about a small
coven of vampires moving closer to the area.
Alice closed her eyes for a moment and then smiled.
“They are moving north, they are leaving.”

423!
 Esme put her head out a doorway, followed by Rosalie.
“So are we on for a game?”
Carlisle smiled. “All right, call the boys, I’ll clean up
and head over to set up the bases.”
Twenty minutes later Carlisle and Esme were running
out to the field when Esme turned to Carlisle. “Edward is
bringing Bella.” She could not hide her satisfaction.
Carlisle lifted his brows. “Really?” Then he smiled back
at Esme. “Have you spoken to him about her yet?”
Esme nodded. “Only to say that I enjoyed listening to
him play the piano for her this afternoon. He told her your entire
story today.”
“Yes, I was surprised that she was so interested,”
Carlisle replied, still a little bewildered.
Esme turned to Carlisle. “Don’t you see, my love?”
“See what?” Carlisle’s brow creased.
Esme giggled. “She is trying to learn as much as she can
about her new family.”
Carlisle frowned.
“What is it?” Esme said putting a hand on Carlisle’s
arm.
Carlisle could not stop the sinking feeling in his chest as
he slowed to a stop and looked at Esme. “I understand that she
loves Edward, and I know he loves her back, but she wants to be
one of us?”

424!
 Esme squeezed his arm. “She wants to be with Edward.
And she wants to be part of a loving family.”
Carlisle smiled at Esme. “She already is a part of this
family.”
Carlisle was measuring out the bases when Edward and
Bella arrived in the Jeep, mostly because Esme didn’t trust any
of the others to measure properly. Carlisle watched how Edward
kept his arm around Bella protectively and how easily his smiles
came. The change in Edward reminded Carlisle of how much he
had changed when Edward and Esme entered his life and pulled
him back from the brink.
The game proceeded with almost no arguing. Carlisle
was amused that the family seemed to be on their best behavior.
He had hit a home run so his team was ahead by two runs by the
time he was at bat again. But as he lifted his bat for Alice’s pitch,
she suddenly gasped and looked at Edward who instantly ran to
Bella’s side.
“They heard us playing, and it changed their path,” Alice
said remorsefully.
Carlisle’s jaw tensed and he turned to Edward. “How
soon?”
Edward grimaced. “Less than five minutes. They’re
running – they want to play.”
“Can you make it?” Carlisle looked back at Bella.
“No, not carrying – besides the last thing we need is for
them to catch the scent and start hunting,” Edward growled.

425!
 “How many?” Emmett asked Alice.
“Three,” she said tersely.
“Three?” Emmett scoffed. “Let them come.” He
laughed.
Carlisle pursed his lips as he deliberated for a moment
and then he nodded to the others, “Let’s just continue the game.
Alice said they were simply curious.” Then he thought in his
mind, Son, we more than out-number them. She will not be
harmed.
Edward whispered low and fast, “Carlisle, do you really
believe diplomacy can win in this situation?”
Carlisle frowned. I do not hold much hope, son, but I
will try diplomacy first. This is our home and I will not allow
them to endanger our family.
Edward looked sadly into Carlisle’s fierce eyes and
whispered, “Thank you.”
“Have they sensed her presence?” Esme said in a quick
whisper Bella could not hear. Edward shook his head, and Esme
sighed with relief.
They kept the ball in the infield and within seconds
Carlisle, Rosalie and Jasper turned first, and the others a moment
later toward the whisper-quiet approach of the vampires. One by
one they cleared the edge of the forest.
Carlisle didn’t even have to give a signal. He knew that
Edward and Esme would cover Bella. Emmett and Jasper were
already flanking Carlisle on either side. Rosalie and Alice stood

426!
between the front three and the back three covering both their
partners in front and their mother and brother behind them. He
lifted his chin as the three vampires stopped about ten meters
from the Cullens.
The Cullens all stood upright and their refined dress and
manner was in strange contrast to the worn and wild appearance
of the nomads. The nomads straightened their spines but kept a
more informal stature. The first vampire had long, dark hair and
smiled as he took one more step forward toward Carlisle.
“We thought we heard a game. I am Laurent, this is
Victoria and James.” He had a slight French accent, an easy
smile and bright white teeth which contrasted with his dark skin
and sinister burgundy eyes which narrowed slightly as he
gestured to his two companions. Victoria had curly mane of
shockingly red hair and catlike grace. She was constantly
shifting her weight and her leather pants creaked slightly as she
moved. James wore blue jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt
and had rugged features and long light-brown hair that was
pulled back in a leather thong.
Carlisle assessed each of them and felt no extraordinary
talent from any of them. Tread carefully, Edward. Don’t provoke
them. “I’m Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper,
Rosalie and Alice, Esme, Edward and Bella.”
“Hello,” Laurent grinned as his eyes swept the group.
“Do you have room for a few more players?” He asked casually.

427!
He sounded delighted at meeting such a large group and at the
prospect of engaging in some recreational sport.
Carlisle smiled, and matched the social tone Laurent was
taking. “Actually, we were just finishing up. But we’d certainly
be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area
for long?”
Laurent waved his hand dismissively. “We’re headed
north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the
neighborhood. We haven’t run into any company in a long time.”
Carlisle could tell that Laurent meant that he was
seeking others. Carlisle reassessed the coven. James and Victoria
were clearly committed to each other. Laurent seemed a bit of an
outsider, despite the fact that he was the speaker. Carlisle
realized that was exactly what was happening. Edward, Laurent
is speaking for himself, but James is watching our reactions to
Laurent. James is the leader.
Carlisle nodded. “No, this region is usually empty except
for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves.” Carlisle very
purposefully let them know that they were not welcome to stay
for an extended period. He was far more concerned with
Edward’s peace of mind than being cordial to any outsiders.
Laurent got the message. “What’s your hunting range?”
he asked pleasantly.
Carlisle ignored the assumption because he did not want
to move much beyond the pleasantries. “The Olympic Range
here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion.” But Carlisle

428!
was also sensitive to the fact that Laurent was trying to extend
the conversation because he actually wanted new acquaintances.
“We keep a permanent residence nearby. There’s another
permanent settlement like ours up near Denali.”
Laurent looked shocked. “Permanent? How do you
manage that?” His voice betrayed honest curiosity, and Carlisle
heard James sniff derisively and his eyes shifted to James.
Carlisle made a quick decision. Edward, he wants to
leave this coven. We can take care of two problems here. Get
Bella out of here, and I will chaperone these three to our house.
Bella will be safer if we escort them home and then out of the
area when we are done talking.
“Why don’t you come back to our home with us and we
can talk comfortably? It’s a rather long story.” Carlisle watched
as James and Victoria exchanged a surprised look.
Laurent, however, kept his smile genial. “That sounds
very interesting. And welcome. We’ve been on the hunt all the
way down from Ontario, and we haven’t had the chance to clean
up in a while.” Laurent was clearly envious of Carlisle’s refined
appearance and lifestyle.
Carlisle nodded. “Please don’t take offense, but we’d
appreciate it if you’d refrain from hunting in this immediate area.
We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand.” Carlisle
wanted to make sure to underline the fact that he was in control
of what happened to the humans in area before he let Bella out of
his sight.

429!
 “Of course,” Laurent agreed, nodding. “We certainly
won’t encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle,
anyway,” he laughed.
Carlisle did not laugh. “We’ll show you the way if you’d
like to run with us – Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edward
and Bella to get the Jeep,” he added offhandedly.
Carlisle began to turn in the direction of the house, and
Laurent turned to follow but James and Victoria did not move,
their eyes on the rest of the group. Then a small gust of wind
swept the field and Carlisle heard Edward growl.
Carlisle moved directly between James and Edward.
Edward, do not move unless he attacks!! Hold steady, son!
“What’s this?” Laurent exclaimed.
“She’s with us.” Carlisle said firmly and he was not
speaking to Laurent any longer, he was addressing James
directly. He felt the warmth in the center of his chest growing.
James’s eyes narrowed as he realized Carlisle had a full
understanding of the situation. Then a menacing grin spread on
his face. “You brought a snack?” he said as he took a step
forward which prompted Edward to snarl even more ferociously,
his lip curling. Laurent stepped back.
“I said, she’s with us,” Carlisle’s voice was becoming
hard and his expression fierce. The warmth in his chest grew
hotter.
“But she’s human,” Laurent protested incredulously.

430!
 “Yes,” Carlisle said without moving an inch, his fiery
amber eyes holding James’s bloody gaze. Emmett leaned
forward toward James, every inch of his muscles poised.
Laurent looked from one to the other and spoke in
soothing tones. “It appears we have a lot to learn about each
other.”
“Indeed,” Carlisle said coolly.
“But we’d like to accept your invitation. And, of course,
we will not harm the human girl. We won’t hunt in your range,
as I said.” Laurent added emphasis to the last three words.
James had had enough, and he showed Laurent his
aggravation. Victoria waited to see what would happen, but the
slight smile on her lips showed that she knew who would remain
the dominant male in her coven.
Edward, go NOW, before this goes any further, Carlisle
thought urgently. Edward immediately moved Bella toward the
trees and Emmett and Alice followed.
Rosalie took Emmett’s place at Carlisle’s side and Esme
stood right behind them. Carlisle gestured to the left, and Laurent
nodded.
James however, growled low. “You don’t smell right.”
Carlisle looked down his nose at James, who was still in
his attack crouch watching Edward and Bella as they reached the
trees. “If you look at us I think you will find that our eyes look
different as well.” Carlisle heard Edward pick up Bella and run
with the others to the Jeep.

431!
 Laurent was closer to Carlisle’s eyes and he looked at
them. “I could not place what was different until now. What are
you?”
Carlisle looked at all three of them in turn and then
spoke with conviction. “We are all animal-feeders.” Carlisle
could hear the Jeep was safely away.
James stood up and began laughing. Victoria walked
over to him, curled her arm around his waist and joined in.
Laurent did not laugh. “You don’t feed on humans at
all?”
Carlisle turned to Laurent. “I am a physician, I heal
humans.” The warmth in his chest was now reaching the edges
of his skin, and as he felt it spill over he suddenly pushed it
outward and one large wave.
James and Victoria stopped laughing and all three
visitors shuddered. Jasper was used to his adoptive father’s
influence, and barely blinked. James looked at Carlisle with a
completely stunned expression and his arrogance wavered for the
first time. Victoria shrank, and shifted slightly behind James.
Laurent was speechless.
Then James recovered himself, and smirked. “If you
heal, that means you don’t kill. Which means, the hunt is on.”
James grinned, flashing his teeth, and without another word he
ran for the tree line in the direction of Edward and Bella, and
Victoria followed. Laurent did not move.

432!
 Jasper, Rosalie and Esme waited for Carlisle to make the
next move. He frowned at Laurent. “Come with me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle heard Bella’s heartbeat and her truck

approaching. Her truck was thunderous and growling, and her
heart was beating frantically and unevenly. He watched as
Emmett tucked Bella into his large arms and bolted from the
truck to the house and Edward scanned the sky and surrounding
area as he followed with one hand on Emmett’s back. Carlisle
felt a great stab of anguish watching his sons behave as if they
were at war; and they were. It is the greatest fear of a parent to
see their children decide to fight and risk their lives willingly for
something they believe in. They were all about to put their lives
on the line for Edward’s happiness and the human girl he loved.
Carlisle turned back to Laurent who was looking at the
ground remorsefully. Edward and Emmett burst into the house
and Edward locked the door behind him as Emmett set Bella on
her feet and growled at Laurent.
“He’s tracking us,” Edward said angrily.
Laurent frowned. “I was afraid of that.”
Alice danced over to Jasper and whispered into his ear
so quietly Carlisle only caught a few words. “…Drive south… J.
Jenks just in case…may have to fly…” Then Alice and Jasper
dashed up the stairs. Carlisle grimaced. He hoped that they

433!
would not have to use their enigmatic lawyer/counterfeiter to
hide Bella internationally, but he was grateful that Alice was
looking to all possible ends.
Carlisle looked at Laurent. “What will he do?” he said in
a chilling tone.
“I’m sorry. When your boy there defended her, it set him
off.” Laurent sounded genuinely upset.
“Can you stop him?” Carlisle’s golden eyes burned.
Laurent shook his head. “Nothing stops James when he
gets started.”
“We’ll stop him,” Emmett said with complete
confidence.
Laurent glanced at Emmett then looked back at Carlisle.
“You can’t bring him down. I’ve never seen anything like him in
my three hundred years. He’s absolutely lethal. That’s why I
joined his coven.” Laurent knew that Carlisle was well aware of
his situation and for the first time Carlisle’s eyes softened
slightly. Laurent glanced at Bella then back at Carlisle. “Are you
sure it’s worth it?”
Edward’s enraged roar filled the room; Laurent cringed
back as Carlisle stepped forward and put a hand in the middle of
Edward’s chest. Son, if Bella is going to be with us, you are
going to have to learn to control your responses to their
perception of her. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to make a
choice,” he said gravely to Laurent.

434!
 Laurent nodded, and then his eyes swept the room. “I’m
intrigued by the life you’ve created here. But I won’t get in the
middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won’t go
against James. I will head north to that clan in Denali.” Laurent
looked at Edward and Bella. “Don’t underestimate James. He’s
got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He’s every bit as
comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won’t
come at you head on. I’m sorry for what’s been unleashed here.
Truly sorry.”
“Go in peace,” Carlisle said formally. Laurent took
another long look around the house and then hurried out. Esme
was already zipping around the main room touching keypads and
large metal shutters began sealing up the large glass wall at the
back of the house. Carlisle immediately turned to Edward. “How
close?”
“About three miles out past the river; he’s circling
around to meet up with the female,” Edward said with a tight jaw
and his arms around Bella.
“What’s the plan?” Emmett said flexing his muscles.
“We’ll lead him off, then Jasper and Alice will run Bella
south,” Carlisle said as he walked toward the garage, everyone
followed him.
“And then?” Esme asked.
“As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him,” Edward’s tone
was vicious.

435!
 Esme glanced toward Carlisle and their eyes met. “I
guess there is no other choice,” he said grimly.
Esme whispered, “No, there isn’t my love. It is the right
choice.”
Edward looked at Rosalie and nodded toward Bella.
“Get her upstairs and trade clothes.”
“Why should I? What is she to me? Except a menace – a
danger you’ve chosen to inflict on all of us,” Rosalie hissed.
Carlisle had been testing the GPS systems on all of the
cars but stepped out of the Mercedes as Emmett put a hand on
Rosalie’s shoulder. “Rose…”
Edward – let me handle this. Then Carlisle spoke low
and fast so only the family could hear him. “Since our meeting
the situation has changed: Bella is with Edward. She is part of
this family now. If you have any complaints about Bella that are
not personal then I will hear them now.” Rosalie stared lividly at
Edward, but dropped her eyes without looking at Carlisle. “In
that case, as part of our family we will protect Bella, as I would
protect any of you.” Carlisle looked at every face in the room
and did not see any dissention. He knew that if he addressed
Bella’s position in the family directly they would all realize what
was at stake. He walked past Edward to a set of drawers. Leave
Rosalie alone, Edward. Have Esme switch clothes with Bella.
Edward turned to his right. “Esme?”
“Of course,” she said quietly, and she quickly swung
Bella up into her arms and dashed upstairs.

436!
 Carlisle handed a tiny silver phone to Rosalie. “You
really are willing to sacrifice one of us for her safety?” she said
sadly, her venom gone; she looked almost frightened.
“Have you ever seen Edward this happy?” Rosalie was
forced to shake her head, no. “And you recall what a risk I took
changing Emmett?” Rosalie nodded yes. “For your brother’s
happiness, as I did for yours, I am willing to risk everything. Do
you understand?”
Rosalie frowned. “I don’t envy her, I envy her
humanity.”
Carlisle nodded. “I know. Just give it time. You two are
more alike than you realize. You are both willing to do anything
for love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle was speeding through the streets of Phoenix.

“Left, Carlisle!” Alice yelled with a clear voice. They had hidden
Bella in a hotel and led James and Victoria with a false trail for
days, but the experienced tracker had figured out their plan.
Victoria found where they had hidden Bella and James
eventually managed to separate her from their protective grasp
and lured her to her old ballet studio.
“Left again!” With each command Carlisle slammed the
breaks and spun the wheel, and the tires of his Mercedes
squealed as he took each turn in a controlled drift.

437!
 “THERE!” Alice yelled. As soon as Carlisle spun the car
to a stop they all sprang from their doors, and Edward took off.
Even as they followed, Carlisle heard him already inside tossing
James across the ballet studio. Carlisle led the others inside and
went straight for Edward, who had James in a death grip.
Carlisle crossed the room in a flash and put a gentle
hand on Edward’s shoulder. “Son – enough.” Edward turned to
look at his father, bloodlust shining from his eyes. “Remember
who you are.” Carlisle nodded at Edward. You are not a monster.
Edward remembered speaking those words to Carlisle as
his father held him during his transformation, and then he
released his grasp on James. Emmett and Jasper pulled James
away.
“Bella needs you!” Carlisle ran over to Alice who was
trying to stop the bleeding with her own hands, but she was also
turning her head and leaning away with a grimace on her face.
Edward followed.
“Alice! GO!” Carlisle called. Alice ran off and Carlisle
heard James’ final scream as Alice twisted off James’ head.
Jasper had started a fire and he and Emmett finished
dismembering the rest of James’ body. Carlisle leaned over Bella
and checked her head wound.
“Bella!” Edward sobbed.
“She’s lost some blood, but the head wound isn’t deep.
Watch out for her leg, it’s broken,” Carlisle said calmly. Bella

438!
was moaning with pain as Carlisle probed further. “Some ribs,
too, I think.”
“Bella, you’re going to be fine. Can you hear me,
Bella?” Edward said desperately.
Carlisle turned to look for where he had dropped his bag.
“It hurts,” Bella cried.
“I know Bella, I know – can’t you do anything?”
Edward cried to Carlisle.
Carlisle was still assessing Bella’s leg. “Edward, my
bag, please!”
Edward zipped over to where Carlisle pointed, and
brought it back in a split second. Carlisle pulled out a syringe of
morphine, but then suddenly he took a sniff. And his head turned
toward Bella’s right arm. Edward, I smell –
“My hand is burning!” Bella screamed.
Carlisle had already picked up Bella’s arm and was
staring with horror. “He bit her!” Carlisle’s anger nearly boiled
over.
Alice had returned from the fire and was crouching near
them. “Edward, you have to let her transform.”
“No!” Edward bellowed.
Carlisle frowned. “There may be a chance. See if you
can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean.” After
an injection of morphine, Carlisle had begun to quickly stitch up
Bella’s head.
“Will that work?” Alice said worriedly.

439!
 “I don’t know, but we have to hurry.” Carlisle was
throwing his stitches faster; the cut was long and he was already
up to thirty-two stitches.
“Carlisle, I don’t know if I can do that,” Edward’s voice
was anguished.
“It’s your decision, Edward, either way. I can’t help you.
I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you’re going to be
taking blood from her hand.” Son, I have faith in you. Bella was
writhing from the pain. “Alice, get me something to brace her
leg!”
Edward’s jaw tightened and he lifted Bella’s wrist to his
lips. Carlisle could sense the smell of the venom decreasing and
then fading to nothing.
“Is it all out?” Carlisle finished his last stitch and then
turned toward his son. He could see Edward’s will faltering.
“Edward, stop!” He put a hand on Edward’s shoulder.
Edward strained as he pulled away from Bella’s wrist
and fell backward on his heels. Carlisle quickly took her hand
away from him. “Her blood tastes clean. I can taste the
morphine,” Edward gasped. He seemed nearly spent with the
effort, but he laid a cool hand on Bella’s newly stitched head.
Carlisle turned back toward Edward and smiled. Well
done, son. I have been impressed by your control around Bella,
but this is a new level of restraint. I am very proud of you. He
could see that the edges of the wound were already livid with
venom damage, which meant she would bear the scar and he

440!
couldn’t stitch the skin shut, but he quickly repaired her vessels
and then wrapped her wrist in gauze.
“Bella, is the fire gone?” Carlisle said urgently.
“Yes, thank you, Edward,” she mumbled.
“I love you,” Edward whispered.
“Bella, where is your mother?” Carlisle finished taping
Bella’s wrist and was quickly wrapping her leg against the piece
of wood Alice had used as a brace.
“In Florida. He tricked me,” she groaned against the
pain.
“It’s time to move her,” Carlisle said with authority.
Edward picked her up and continued to whisper into Bella’s ear.
Carlisle turned to Jasper and Emmett. “Boys, let’s go!”
Carlisle heard Edward whispering as they all ran for the
car. “Sleep now, Bella.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle was standing in the nurses’ station reading

Bella’s MRI report that confirmed that Bella had escaped any
permanent harm. The effects on everyone involved had been
more psychological than physical.
Edward had been faced with allowing Bella to
transform, but instead chose to save her mortal life. Carlisle was
extremely proud of his son’s choices, and also sad for him and
his continued torment from loving a human girl. He was also

441!
very proud of his family because when Bella was in mortal
danger they had succeeded in saving her. Carlisle’s only regret
was that vampires like James were such determined killers with a
complete disregard for human life and that the only way to stop
him was to destroy him. In addition, James’ mate Victoria, was
still unaccounted for. But Carlisle would have to let her go for
the moment and just appreciate that his family and all humans
involved in the situation were alive and well.
The elevator doors opened and Carlisle heard and
smelled Charlie Swan, Bella’s father, running down the hall.
Carlisle casually walked out into the hall so that Charlie would
recognize him and see him reading Bella’s chart.
“Dr. Cullen!! Dr. Cullen!!” Charlie called out, and then
waved his hand when Carlisle looked around to see who was
calling his name.
Carlisle closed the chart and smiled reassuringly.
“Charlie, I’m glad you got here so quickly. Come with me, I
want to introduce you to Bella’s physician – ”
Charlie put a hand up, “No, no, I need to see Bella,
please!”
Carlisle considered insisting that they discuss what had
happened first, but he could feel Charlie’s pain and intense need
to be reassured. “OK, let’s go see her, but then we’ll talk, all
right?”
Charlie frowned but nodded. Carlisle led the way and
spoke quietly as they walked, “She is still asleep from the

442!
medication they gave her when they set her broken leg and
repaired the wounds from the glass of the window she fell into,
but other than that she will be just fine.” Carlisle stopped just
outside the door of the room. “Also, Edward and Emmett are
inside, I’ll make sure they leave. Please, go easy on Edward; he’s
been completely thrown by this entire episode.”
Charlie stiffened at the mention of Edward’s name, but
then he seemed to empathize with the idea that Edward was as
confused and upset by this situation as he had been. He frowned
up at Carlisle. “We’ll talk about that later too.”
Carlisle smiled and then he opened the door. “Boys, give
Chief Swan a moment with his daughter, please,” Carlisle said
with quiet authority. Charlie seemed to approve of the tone
Carlisle had used with his full-grown sons.
Emmett and Edward both stood up. Emmett took off his
baseball cap and nodded to Charlie as he headed out of the room.
Edward appeared to want to say something apologetic but
Carlisle shook his head from behind Charlie. Not now, Edward.
So Edward closed his mouth, nodded to Charlie and followed
Emmett. Charlie turned to watch Edward leave, and then looked
up at Carlisle who quietly backed out the door and closed it
behind him.
Carlisle turned to the boys who were standing just
outside the door, and saw Jasper and Alice walking up the hall.
“Chief Swan is much calmer now that he’s seen her,”
Jasper said quietly, Alice squeezed his arm. “We just spoke to

443!
Esme; she and Rosalie are picking up Bella’s mother at the
airport.” Jasper turned toward the door, “You’d better go in and
reassure him, Carlisle, he’s starting to feel overwhelmed.”
Carlisle patted Edward on the shoulder because every
muscle in his body was tense as he struggled to keep himself out
of Bella’s room. Emmett put a restraining hand on Edward and
frowned at Carlisle as he walked back in.
“Charlie, why don’t you come and talk to her physician
so you can understand everything that happened?” Carlisle said
very soothingly.
Charlie sniffed slightly and quickly wiped his nose
before he cleared his throat and finally turned back to Carlisle’s
warm, reassuring face. “Uh, sure, Dr. Cullen,” Charlie mumbled
and cleared his throat again. He squeezed his daughter’s hand
and then put it gently down on the bed and followed Carlisle out
of the room.
The two fathers walked past the group of Cullens
standing silently outside the door. Charlie did his best not to
stare but could not help but look a little longer than normal at
Carlisle’s striking brood. Carlisle could tell what he was
thinking, but decided to deflect any comments about how
attractive or out of place they looked. “They are all very worried
about Bella. They’ve all become quite close in such a short
amount of time. I’ve never seen them open up to someone so
quickly,” Carlisle said with a smile.

444!
 Charlie turned to look over at Carlisle and nodded,
“Yeah, she, uh, seems to be really close with Alice.”
Carlisle chuckled. “Edward has a hard time getting a
word in when Alice is around.”
That comment seemed to please Charlie and he said,
“Hmph,” which was half a grunt of acknowledgment and half a
laugh.
Carlisle smiled to himself. He had always liked Charlie;
he was the most honest person Carlisle had met this time in
Forks. And apparently Carlisle had passed some sort of
unwritten test that earned Charlie’s trust, too, because Charlie
always called Carlisle first when there was any problem that
required medical intervention. Charlie had become a bit more
standoffish when Edward’s intentions toward Bella became
public, but Charlie was a professional, and still respected
Carlisle’s authority and expertise. Carlisle felt certain that
Edward would win over Charlie eventually, and a reserved
friendship would definitely be possible with between the fathers.
At least, it might be possible until there was some kind of clarity
regarding Alice’s vision of Bella’s future…
Carlisle was as conflicted as Edward on the subject, but
for different reasons. Edward was still unconvinced by their
regular debates that vampires had any connection to God, much
less a soul once they killed another human. Thus he felt certain
that Carlisle had a soul, but Edward was sure that Bella would
slip as every other member of the family had and he was never

445!
going to change her until he found some kind of comfort or
assurance that Bella’s soul would remain intact.
Carlisle was conflicted because he had never been a part
of changing a healthy, growing human with a positive future into
a vampire. He could not be a part of that in good conscience. If
Edward had decided to change her at the critical moment that
they had just faced, Carlisle would have welcomed it. But now
that she was safe and well, Carlisle knew he could never take
Charlie’s daughter from him out of his own desire to see his son
eternally happy.
Carlisle opened the door to the doctor’s lounge and
looked in. “Dr. Johnson? Would you please come and meet
Chief Swan?”
A tiny, slightly round, middle-aged black woman stood
up and waved at Carlisle. “Of course, Dr. Cullen.” He heard her
heart rate increase as she smiled at him and he returned the smile
kindly. She reached out to Charlie as they walked out of the
lounge. “Hello, Chief Swan, I am Dr. Johnson. Your daughter is
going to be perfectly fine in a couple of days, but I’m sure Dr.
Cullen has already told you that,” she smiled up at Carlisle
again, and Charlie rolled his eyes just a bit. Carlisle suppressed a
chuckle. Charlie had endured many females swooning over
Carlisle when Charlie was trying to discuss business with him.
Carlisle sat and listened in silence while Dr. Johnson
went over all of Bella’s test results, giving Charlie way too much
information. When they finally left the room because Alice came

446!
to let them know that Renee had arrived, Charlie stopped
Carlisle in the hallway.
“Um, all that meant that she’s fine, right?” Charlie
grumbled.
Carlisle smiled. “Yes.”
Charlie nodded and sighed, “Thanks, for… for
everything.”
Carlisle nodded, “It’s my job Charlie, but my son is
involved, and I consider you a friend. So I can assure you, I am
quite on top of this situation.”
Charlie shifted uncomfortably and grimaced as he
paused considering his words. “Edward, he… really does seem
to like her.”
Carlisle smiled again. “Well, this is a little more intense,
I think, Charlie. I feel fairly certain that, despite the overly
dramatic context of being a teenager… Edward is in love with
Bella.”
Charlie seemed to take that news the hardest of any other
news he had gotten since he arrived at the hospital. He took a
step toward the hallway wall, leaned back against it and sighed.
Carlisle regarded him sympathetically. “I can promise
you, Charlie, Edward will continue his completely honorable
behavior.” Carlisle allowed a very subtle tone of danger to enter
his voice, and Charlie looked at the floor and smiled.
Charlie looked back up at Carlisle, “You ever been in
my position, doc?”

447!
 Carlisle nodded and frowned, “With Rosalie. She was
the one who found Emmett, my oldest adopted son. He was
essentially a stranger, but had a good upbringing before he was
orphaned. She begged me to take him in because she feared what
would happen to him if I didn’t. It was a leap of faith, and
considering I knew how they both felt about each other, it was
a… challenge.”
Charlie shook his head. “I don’t think I could handle
that.”
Carlisle repeated his position with a smile, “I am on top
of the situation, and so is Esme.”
Just then Esme walked up with one arm around Bella’s
mother, who appeared nearly overcome with anxiety.
Carlisle nodded at Charlie and they both went to
reassure Renee that Bella was fine. Carlisle was as afraid of the
future as Charlie was, but he was now certain the changes that
had been predicted just a few months before were inevitable. He
silently prayed that he, and the rest of his family, would be ready
for what was to come.

448!
 CHAPTER 21
~~2005~~

NEW MOON
“You’d better play along with this, or she’s going to
have your head,” Esme hissed as she straightened Carlisle’s
collar.
Carlisle feigned innocence. “I promise to behave.”
Esme growled and Carlisle placed a light kiss on her
forehead then slipped out of the room and down the stairs
chuckling as he went. He simply enjoyed winding her up when
he had the opportunity, and he had suggested to Esme that he
might aid Edward in escaping with Bella before Alice began the
“Happy Birthday” chorus.
Alice was calling everyone to order just as Carlisle
reached the bottom of the stairs. “They will be here soon
everyone!” She didn’t have to yell, they could hear each other
whisper from the far corners of the house, but she enjoyed how
her ringing voice echoed from the foyer.

449!
 Carlisle dutifully headed for the formal living room and
paused for a moment to appreciate Alice’s talents. Every surface
was covered with crystal bowls filled with hundreds of roses.
Along the windowsills and at the edges of the room, large round
pink candles bathed the room with warm dancing light. The
room lights had been dimmed, and a table covered with a white
tablecloth near Edward’s piano held a tiered birthday cake with
Bella’s name on the top and a stack of glass plates next to the
small pile of gifts wrapped in silver paper. Alice was
incorrigible, but Carlisle had to admit she also had amazing
style.
Carlisle wondered sometimes if Alice got all of her
ideals about human life from Martha Stewart and Modern Living
magazines. It worried him sometimes that she felt she needed to
compensate for having no memory of her human life by creating
these elaborate shows. Sometimes, however, Carlisle felt certain
she simply appreciated beauty and made it her mission to make
the world around her beautiful and happy.
Carlisle took up his position, seating himself on the
contemporary couches, and while he waited for the others he
flipped open a medical journal. Emmett arrived next, pulling
Rosalie along behind him and whispering encouraging words in
her ear. Alice and Esme arrived last with Jasper behind them.
Carlisle watched as Jasper entered the room and he could
instantly tell that his newest son was having a difficult day with
his thirst. Carlisle considered stopping the party immediately, but

450!
as he continued to watch Jasper he could see the young man
slowly and methodically relax each major group of muscles in
his body as he held perfectly still and at attention in the back of
the room. Carlisle swelled with pride. Jasper was using every
method they had discussed to control his instincts, and he was
succeeding. Carlisle knew he could not stop the party; it would
be too discouraging and embarrassing for Jasper. And he knew
Jasper was in control now.
And just then, on cue, Bella and Edward walked in the
front door laughing. Edward led Bella to the living room and
everyone shouted, “Happy birthday, Bella!” with the precise
inflection Alice had taught them.
Carlisle could not suppress a smile as he saw Bella’s
face fill with blood and she ducked her head slightly as she
grimaced and smiled at the same time. Esme moved toward
Bella and hugged her carefully and then Carlisle felt compelled
to put an arm around the blushing human.
“Sorry about this, Bella,” he whispered so all of them
could hear. “We couldn’t rein Alice in.”
Alice narrowed her eyes at Carlisle, and Esme slapped
his arm. “You promised, my love,” she hissed.
Carlisle chuckled and stood back as the others greeted
Bella, enjoying the moment. It didn’t matter if Alice was
compensating for anything, the emotional bonds in the family
were real, and the evening already was a complete success. Alice
and Jasper were the last to greet Bella, and Carlisle was happy

451!
that Jasper actually managed to smile at Bella even though he
was still working hard on his control.
“Time to open presents,” Alice declared as she danced
over to the table, towing Bella along beside her.
Bella resisted her just a little, “Alice, I know I told you I
didn’t want anything…”
“But I didn’t listen,” Alice said smugly. “Open it.” She
took Bella’s camera from her hands and replaced it with a square
silver box. The first gift was from Rosalie and Emmett, and
Rosalie actually smiled when the box was revealed to be empty,
and Bella realized that Emmett was already gone.
Jasper actually laughed. “It’s a stereo for your truck.
Emmett’s installing it right now so that you can’t return it.”
Emmett’s booming laugh echoed outside from Bella’s truck.
Alice handed Bella another gift. “Open mine and
Edward’s next!”
Emmett bounded through the door. “Just in time!” he
crowed and pushed in behind Jasper.
Bella sighed and slipped her finger under the paper and
jerked it under the tape. “Shoot,” she muttered as a single drop of
blood fell from a fresh paper cut on her finger.
In a split second Jasper had crossed the room. Edward
screamed as he pushed Bella back against the wall and she fell
onto one of the tables covered with crystal bowls of roses.
Carlisle watched with horror as the shards of crystal sliced into
Bella’s arm, spilling more and more blood. Edward threw

452!
himself at Jasper and Carlisle pushed Esme back as Jasper went
flying and crushed Edward’s prized piano. In a flash Jasper was
up again and Emmett now had his iron arms locked around
Jasper and Carlisle moved toward Bella. But Edward growled at
him viciously.
Carlisle used his well-practiced, authoritative voice.
“Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside.”
Emmett was not smiling as he held Jasper who was still
struggling and twisting as he bared his snapping teeth at Edward,
his mind still beyond reason.
Rosalie’s face was smug as she helped wrestle Jasper
through the door Esme held open for them. Esme’s face was
ashamed. “I’m so sorry, Bella.” She turned and followed the
others out the door.
Carlisle’s eyes were still on Edward. “Let me by,
Edward.” Slowly, Edward brought himself under control and
relaxed as Carlisle knelt by Bella and examined her arm.
Alice handed Carlisle a towel, but Carlisle shook his
head. “Too much glass in the wound. Bella, do you want me to
drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it
here?”
“Here, please,” Bella whispered.
“Let’s take her to the kitchen table,” Carlisle said to
Edward. Edward lifted Bella and Carlisle kept the pressure
steady on Bella’s arm.

453!
 Edward, I’m sorry. This was my fault. Carlisle thought. I
knew Jasper was having a bad day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle was taking his time unpacking his office. In

some ways he was moving slowly because it didn’t feel like
home yet. He had found it easier to move into his new office at
Cornell, and even to get into his new routine with his students,
but coming home was somehow daunting. The condominium
was just too empty, and the truth was, it didn’t feel right.
Each of the Cullens had their own reasons for enjoying
the life they had built in Forks and he also knew that they had
been the most content as a family both times they had lived in
the area. There was something about the quiet streets, the simple
lives of the happy people, the warmth of the homes that repelled
the constant rain and clouds, and the way the community left his
family in peace that made it the one place in the world that
Carlisle truly felt at home.
When Esme was not working at her new charity for the
elderly she did what she could to fill the void, taking Carlisle on
evening adventures when he got home from work and looking
for something new to explore every day. That was how they had
found her new restoration project: a seventeenth century house
north of the city. They were planning to move in once it was
done and it was going to be breathtaking, but what was the

454!
purpose of having five bedrooms and a wrap-around porch if
there was no one to live in those rooms or to sit on the porch and
tell stories to?
Edward hadn’t moved with the family at all; leaving all
of his belongings behind, he had immediately begun tracking
Victoria, James’s mate, who had sworn revenge against Bella for
James’s death. And he had refused to take anyone with him.
Rosalie was not happy with the move even though she
had supported the decision when Edward asked her to go along
with it because she still owed Edward for forcing the family to
move after she took her revenge in Rochester. Rosalie decided it
was time for her and Emmett to spend some time alone, and they
left on a European tour because Emmett was actually close to
depression himself with Edward gone and Jasper so distraught
about his role in forcing the family to move. Edward had always
feared outside forces threatening Bella’s safety, but a threat from
within that could not be absolutely controlled was the final
straw. Edward saw no other way to ensure Bella would be out of
danger, and so the Cullens left Forks.
The morning Carlisle was bleakly trying to unpack his
study again the final blow came. Alice tiptoed into Carlisle’s
study as he was slowly depositing all of his three hundred and
sixty-three years of journals into his large locked cabinet. She
hovered, waiting for him to look up but he did not. She pouted
for a moment, and then realized what he was doing.

455!
 “Avoiding me won’t stop what has to happen,” she said
gently.
Carlisle stopped moving his journals, but could not look
at her. “I’m not sure I can say any more good-byes, Alice.”
Alice gracefully walked in and sat down cross-legged on
the end of Carlisle’s desk and looked at her adoptive father
sadly. “I know, Carlisle.” Then she reached out and put a tiny
white hand on his black cashmere sweater. “But, you know that
we will return… eventually. We just need some time, all of us.”
Carlisle finally stood up and then sat in his leather chair
and sighed. “Where will you and Jasper go?”
Alice looked reassuringly at Carlisle, “We will be fine.
Jazz and I are going to look for my – family.” Alice stumbled
over the word because she realized too late what was implied
might hurt Carlisle, but as she started to clarify Carlisle waved
his hand at her.
“It’s okay, Alice, I know what you meant,” Carlisle half-
smiled. “I haven’t spoken to Jasper in a couple of days. How is
he?”
“I don’t think he will ever be all right until Edward
comes home and he can finally apologize. Edward won’t come
home if he can’t go back to Forks, but he will never go back to
Forks because that puts Bella in danger. Rosalie wants to go
back to Forks, but she won’t if Bella is there, and Emmett just
wants things to go back to how they were.”

456!
 Carlisle sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Alice
had to look away; she couldn’t bear to see Carlisle so miserable.
But then Carlisle laid one of his large hands over hers. “Alice,”
he whispered, “is there any hope?”
Alice smiled sadly. She knew Carlisle was looking for
assurance that Edward would return safely. She unfocused her
eyes for several moments and then she looked back at Carlisle. “I
can see that you and Esme will be happy in the future, but I
cannot see any of the surrounding circumstances.”
Carlisle brightened a little and took Alice’s small hand
in his. “Then I know we will all be together again. Please, don’t
keep us waiting long.”
Alice and Jasper slipped away soon after that
conversation, and Carlisle sat in his office contemplating his last
conversation with Bella.
“How can you do this?” She asked as she turned her
head away from the sight of her own blood.
“Years and years of practice,” Carlisle replied as he
gently pulled the stitch snug against her skin. “It’s pleasant
knowing that, thanks to what I can do, some people’s lives are
better because I exist.”
Bella frowned. “You try very hard to make up for
something that was never your fault.”
“I don’t know that I’m making up for anything,”
Carlisle said with a shrug. “Like everything in life, I just had to
decide what to do with what I was given.”

457!
 “In the beginning, though, why did you even think to try
a different way than the obvious one?” Bella said uncertainly.
Carlisle’s mouth turned down at the corners. “You know
my father was a clergyman… I didn’t agree with his particular
brand of faith. But never, in the nearly four hundred years now
since I was born have I ever seen anything to make me doubt
whether God exists in some form or the other. Not even the
reflection in the mirror.” Carlisle grinned at her surprised
expression. “I’m sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming
from a vampire. But I chose this way – I was compelled to seek
this path, because I’m hoping that there is still a point to this
life, even for us. By all accounts, we’re damned regardless. But I
still hope, maybe foolishly that we’ll get some measure of credit
for trying.”
“Damned? So that’s the problem, isn’t it? That’s why he
won’t change me?” Bella’s brows came together.
Carlisle sighed. “If you believed as Edward does, could
you take away his soul?”
“It’s my choice,” she insisted.
Carlisle nodded. “It’s his too, whether he is responsible
for doing that to you.”
Bella looked toward the door. “He’s very upset.”
Carlisle sighed. “Tonight is exactly the kind of thing that
he fears the most. You being put in danger because of what we
are,” Carlisle said sadly.
Bella narrowed her eyes, “It’s not his fault.”

458!
 Carlisle smiled. “It’s not yours either.”
In Carlisle’s mind he thought, It was my fault.
Carlisle’s mobile phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket.
He looked at the number; it was international. Carlisle flipped
open the phone. “Edward, where are you?”
There was no response. Carlisle could hear the sounds of
a busy street in the background and within a few seconds he
determined the language was Portuguese. “Are you in Brazil or
Portugal? Do you need me to come and get you, son?” The
phone went dead.
Carlisle closed the phone, just as Esme appeared in the
doorway. Carlisle looked up at her with grieved eyes. Esme
walked behind the desk where Carlisle was sitting and pulled his
head to her chest and laid her head on top of his as he wrapped
his arms around her hips.
“He still needs to hear your voice,” she whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mr. Sanders? Mr. Sanders?”

Sanders’s head jerked up from the desk and the entire
lecture hall laughed. “Yes, sir?” Sanders mumbled.
Carlisle suppressed a chuckle and looked down his nose
sternly. “What is the order of the arteries branching off of the
external carotid artery?”

459!
 “Um… uh… superior thyroid… um… lingual… internal
–”
“External,” Carlisle corrected.
“Yeah, external maxillary… umm… mandibular and
infraorbital?”
Carlisle allowed the moment to hang in the air before he
finally nodded and Sanders’s shoulders slumped with relief.
Carlisle leveled a severe gaze on the entire class. “I hope you can
all quote that in your sleep just like Mr. Sanders.”
The class laughed again, and Carlisle turned back to his
laptop on the podium so he could hide his smile. “Read the rest
of the vascular system chapter by tomorrow and be prepared to
label any slide I put up on the view screen. And to answer your
question, no, not all of the slides will be in your book tonight.
You will have to guess at some of them.” The class groaned and
then started to collect their computers and power cords as
Carlisle closed his laptop and left the classroom.
Carlisle walked down the hall and nodded to students
and professors as he passed. He avoided stopping to talk to the
female students who smiled at him wistfully as he walked by
them, but when his colleague Dr. Myra Richards stopped him he
could not avoid her.
“Yes, Myra, how can I help you?”
She smiled at him and paused to collect her suddenly
scattered thoughts. “I wondered if you would reconsider coming
to the walk-a-thon, Carlisle. You can stay under the tent and help

460!
with registration so we can make sure you stay out of the sun,
and you could bring Esme. We’d love to have you.”
Carlisle smiled graciously. “I’ll watch the weather
report, Myra, but I cannot promise you anything.”
She smiled again, “Of course, that’s all I can ask, right?
Let me know okay?”
Suddenly, Carlisle’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He
looked at her apologetically and pulled out the phone. It was a
call from France. Carlisle carefully hid his excitement, “Myra,
I’m sorry. This is my son, I have to take the call.”
“It’s fine! Just let me know!” She called after him and
watched him leave. Carlisle nodded as he waved and walked
away.
Carlisle flipped open the phone. “Emmett? How are you,
son?” Carlisle could not suppress the cheerfulness in his voice.
“We’re coming home today, Dad!!” Emmett’s booming
laugh echoed through the phone and Carlisle smiled broadly.
“When should we pick you up at the airport?”
“At two in the morning. Esme has all of the information,
I just wanted to tell you myself.” Emmett chuckled. “I wouldn’t
miss hearing your reaction.”
“What made you decide to return?” Carlisle was barely
paying attention to where he was going as he talked but he knew
eventually his feet would bring him to his office.
“Rose talked to Alice this morning. Alice has a plan to
try to get Edward to come home.”

461!
 Carlisle’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Emmett sighed. “I don’t think it’s gonna work, yet, but I
know the kid needs us more than ever. How often does he call
you?”
Carlisle arrived at his office and closed the door behind
him. “Every few months. He never says a word.”
“Same here.” Emmett paused for a moment, then
decided to change the subject. “Alice found something in
Mississippi.”
Carlisle’s brows raised. “Really?”
“Yeah. Her full name was Mary Alice Brandon. Her
parents were not from the social circle. It looked like they were
pretty poor. She found her parents’ engagement and her birth
announcement and her death. She even stole her admissions
papers from the old asylum archives. Her admission date was the
same as the date of her death.” Emmett sounded like he didn’t
quite know what to do with this information, or how to help
Alice. “Didn’t James say that she had been in a dark hole of a
cell for a long time? And that the old vampire who changed her
worked at the asylum and he stole her from there?”
Carlisle nodded to himself. “Yes, he did.” Carlisle was
afraid that the facts were leading to the conclusion that the old
vampire had stolen Alice as soon as she was admitted. And that
he held her in some unknown location for years before James
found them. Carlisle wondered at the meaning of such behavior.

462!
 “There’s one more thing. She had a sister named
Cynthia. Cynthia’s daughter, Alice’s niece, is still alive in
Biloxi.”
Carlisle was dumbfounded. Emmett knew where his
family and their descendants all were. Rosalie’s brothers’
descendants were scattered around the country. Edward’s entire
family had been wiped out. Esme had four brothers and two of
them had died in World War I, while the third died of cancer at
an early age and childless. Her youngest brother had married and
had two children who were still alive in Ohio.
“Did she go and see her?” Carlisle whispered.
“Rose said that she went to the retirement community,
but she did not go in,” Emmett replied sadly.
Carlisle considered how this news might have affected
Alice’s vision of herself and her human life. Her current life was
such a stark contrast, that he wondered if she was even able to
imagine such a bleak existence.
“Thank you, Emmett. I’m not sure I would have wanted
to ask her to repeat that story,” Carlisle said quietly.
“I think it’s been good for both of them. It’s given them
both something else to concentrate on. And being on their own
they both realized – they don’t want to be alone by choice.”
Carlisle smiled. He knew that Emmett was also relating
how he and Rosalie felt. “See you at the airport, son.”
“Bye, Dad,” Emmett chuckled.

463!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle shut off the engine of the Land Rover and

chuckled as Eleazar laughed out loud. The Cullens were visiting
Denali while Cornell was on Spring Break and had arrived in the
early hours. Carlisle and Eleazar spent the rest of the morning
pushing the Rover to its limits like two little boys as they caught
up on each other’s lives.
Since the Cullen boys returned home they had taken a
special interest in spending time with Carlisle and he appreciated
the effort. Jasper had enrolled at Cornell and was studying
seventeenth century philosophers which amused Carlisle, and
they spent hours discussing Carlisle’s old friends from the salon
in Paris.
Emmett had taken over running a little league for
children with disabilities that was associated with the Komansky
Center for Children’s Health at Presbyterian/Cornell Medical
Center. Emmett demanded at least two evenings a week from
Carlisle to help coaching.
Alice and Rosalie had started taking fashion design
classes together and they took special joy in using Carlisle as a
guinea pig as they tried to update his somewhat buttoned-up,
genteel style. He tolerated it well enough.
Esme’s renovations of the new house were nearly
complete and they had all moved in so they could be closer to
the forest for hunting. The boys and the girls had also started

464!
challenging each other to baseball games again. Carlisle was
starting to feel that they had finally recaptured some measure of
happiness despite Edward’s absence.
Eleazar had not asked any direct questions about
Edward. He had been present the first time Edward abandoned
Carlisle, had sheltered Edward the second time when he was
escaping his thirst for Bella Swan, and now was once again he
was supporting his friend after Edward had left to be alone. Now
as they walked up to the Denali coven’s house he watched
Carlisle carefully.
“You seem to be doing well, my friend,” Eleazar said
gently.
Carlisle sighed. “You need not be concerned about me. I
only suffer in that I know Edward is suffering. But we will
survive. And he will return. I know him well enough to believe
that much.”
Eleazar chuckled. “Yes, he is much like you.” Carlisle
stopped and lifted a brow. Eleazar laughed again, “The first time
you left Denali, Tanya and the others worried about you
constantly. I was… despondent.” Carlisle frowned, but Eleazar’s
smile did not falter. “The second time you left they thought you
would never return, and I think they were a little hurt. I was less
upset but very worried about your state of mind. It was very
difficult letting you go off on your own. But I knew that all I
could do was let you find your own path. Much how you feel
right now.” Eleazar smiled broadly at Carlisle. Carlisle shook his

465!
head as he realized how much he had put the Denali coven
through over the years. But before he could apologize Eleazar
lifted a finger, “Only, I do not consider you my son.”
Carlisle laughed out loud with Eleazar and put an arm
around his old friend’s shoulders as they walked up the front
steps onto the porch of the house. Suddenly, the laughter died on
Carlisle’s lips and he felt an overwhelming sense of sadness
emanating from Jasper. Eleazar felt the mood change too as soon
as Carlisle stopped laughing.
“Edward…” Carlisle whispered, and then he charged
through the front door with Eleazar right behind him. He walked
in and Esme was suddenly at his side looking worriedly up at
him.
“Come with me,” she said quietly.
Carlisle was so taken off guard that he allowed Esme to
take his arm and steer him into the front parlor. The entire family
was there: Jasper was standing rigidly at the window, Carmen,
Tanya, Kate and Irina were all standing together whispering with
Alice and they looked up at Carlisle and Eleazar when they
walked in. Rosalie sat next to Emmett and she looked sad but
Emmett looked so overwhelmed that Carlisle began to panic.
Carlisle looked from Esme to Jasper. “What has
happened?” he whispered. Jasper turned toward them and looked
at Esme, who could not look back at either of them. “TELL
ME!” he demanded after seeing Jasper’s hurt eyes. All of them

466!
stared at Carlisle. None of them had ever seen him lose his
composure before.
“It’s Bella, Carlisle,” Jasper said with a hollow voice.
“Alice saw her commit suicide in a vision about an hour ago.”
Carlisle’s jaw dropped. Then he walked over to the
couch and sat down heavily. “When?”
Alice stepped forward and sat on the floor next to
Carlisle resting her head on his knee. “She’s going to jump off
the cliffs at La Push this morning.” Alice said sadly.
Carlisle looked up. “Is it not too late? Can you stop it
from happening?”
Jasper shook his head. “No. We are too far away.”
“Did you call Charlie Swan? Did you call the La Push
police?” Carlisle reached for his mobile.
“We made an anonymous call to complain about cliff
jumpers behaving recklessly, but the dispatcher said that the
entire Forks Police Department and half the reservation is out
hunting an animal that has killed four hikers. They didn’t have
anyone to send, but they promised to radio the men in the forest
and ask them to check the cliffs.” Jasper said hopelessly. “After
we called, Alice’s vision did not change.”
Carlisle shook his head sadly and his brow creased.
Esme sat down next to him and laid a hand on Alice’s head that
was still on Carlisle’s knee.

467!
 Alice pulled away from Esme’s hand and sat up. “I’m
going to go to Forks. Charlie’s going to be devastated,” she
pressed her hands over her eyes. “Oh, his face! He needs help!”
Carlisle wiped his chin with his hand. “No, Alice. We’ve
done all we can. We’ve done more damage than I thought
imaginable. Leave them in peace,” Carlisle said quietly. I’m so
sorry Charlie… Edward.
“We need to call Edward,” Rosalie said decidedly.
Carlisle looked up at her and thought for a moment, but
then shook his head, “No.”
Rosalie’s brows came down and she frowned. “What do
you mean, ‘no’?”
Carlisle sighed and frowned back at Rosalie. “We’ll tell
him when he returns to us. Right now he needs some time away
from – all of this.”
“But if we call him and tell him he’ll come home
sooner!” She pleaded.
“Rosalie, we already talked about this,” Jasper hissed.
Rosalie shook her golden curls. “But you’re not listening
to me! Carlisle, we can all be together again! Bella is gone,
there’s no more danger!”
Carlisle stood up so suddenly they all looked at him with
surprise. He took a cleansing breath, and gave Rosalie a look that
made her wilt slightly. Then he put up his hand and sighed.
“Stop… just… stop.” Then he ran his hand through his hair.
“Leave Edward alone. Just a little while longer.” He walked over

468!
to the tall glass doors and leaned against them, then he pulled his
wool scarf off. “I need to hunt. Any of you may join me if you
like.”
“I’ll go,” Emmett said quickly. He was upset and didn’t
like sitting around when he was feeling so vulnerable.
“I need to go too,” Jasper said.
“Why don’t we make a trip of it? Head out to Wonder
Lake for a few days,” Eleazar suggested softly.
Rosalie frowned. “Alice and I have a project for school
we are working on that is due after the break, and… I’d really
rather stay here.”
Carlisle could see more emotion in her than he had in a
long time. He knew she missed Edward, but she was also sad for
him, and was upset about Bella’s death. Alice nodded mutely in
agreement.
“OK, Emmett and I will just go out for a short trip and
then come back,” Jasper said softly and then he knelt down and
kissed Alice on the forehead.
Carlisle changed into his track pants and a long sleeved
turtleneck in a few seconds and then helped Eleazar pack the
Rover and Tanya’s restored Scout 800A. Within minutes the
entire family except Alice and Rosalie were on their way. They
did not speak the entire drive. Carlisle flew along the two lane
highway pushing the Rover over 150 miles per hour. He was still
too numb to grieve. He thought of the first time he met Bella just

469!
about two years before in the hospital after Edward had saved
her.
“So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?” Carlisle smiled
at the young girl with long dark hair. She was gaping at him, a
reaction Carlisle had seen many times before. But then he
realized that she was not just reacting to his appearance; she
had a look that he recognized as a person who was on the edge
of recognizing what he was.
Bella realized she was staring and closed her mouth.
“I’m fine,” she said plainly.
Carlisle kept things completely business-like as he
walked to the lightboard and scanned the x-rays. “These look
good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.”
Carlisle played Edward’s game but already knew that she was
not going to accept that she had imagined the incident.
She threw an irritated glance at Edward. “I’m fine,”
then she turned her gaze on Carlisle. Her fierce eyes saw right
through him so clearly that he stepped closer to continue the
examination and hoped to divert her train of thought.
Carlisle ran his fingers gently over Bella’s scalp until he
felt a small bump and she winced. As she recoiled Edward
shifted slightly in his chair. Carlisle glanced at Edward again.
He knew Edward was concerned for her, his face had said as
much when he arrived in Carlisle’s office, but Carlisle realized
just how much he cared. Carlisle had to resist a smile and
looked back at Bella.

470!
 “Tender?” Carlisle asked.
She lifted her chin defiantly. “Not really,” she sniffed.
Carlisle felt the corner of his mouth turn up as he was reminded
of Esme at sixteen, putting on her brave face with a broken leg.
Carlisle glanced over at Edward and saw that his son
was chuckling at Carlisle’s memory and Bella narrowed her
eyes at him again. Carlisle felt the other corner of his mouth turn
up as he watched them. He hadn’t seen anyone amuse Edward
this way in a long time – a very long time – and he was reminded
again of Esme.
“Well, your father is in the waiting room – you can go
home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have
trouble with your eyesight at all,” Carlisle said.
“Can I go back to school?” Bella said quickly.
“Maybe you should take it easy today,” Carlisle
suggested.
Bella gave Edward another livid glance. “Does HE get
to go to school?”
“Someone has to spread the good news that we
survived,” Edward smirked.
Carlisle could see her shoulders bunching with anger.
Edward, don’t wind her up. “Actually, most of the school seems
to be in the waiting room.”
“Oh, no,” she moaned, and she put her face in her
hands.

471!
 Carlisle struggled to keep a straight face. “Do you want
to stay?”
“No, no!” Bella quickly jumped to the floor but stumbled
forward into Carlisle’s arms. Carlisle put her back up on her
feet and looked into her eyes with concern.
She looked back into Carlisle’s amber irises and got a
good look at the color. Then she turned pink when she saw his
concern. “I’m fine.”
Carlisle didn’t see any new signs of a neurological
injury, so when she was steady he dropped his hands. “Take
some Tylenol for the pain.”
“It doesn’t hurt that bad,” she countered.
Carlisle smiled and signed her chart. “It sounds like you
were extremely lucky.”
Bella turned her hard gaze on Edward again. “Lucky
Edward happened to be standing NEXT to me.”
“Oh, well, yes,” Carlisle agreed quickly. He knew that
Bella was not going to let the incident go. All yours, he thought.
Handle it as you think best.
“Thanks so much,” Edward whispered back.
Carlisle’s lips turned up at Edward’s sarcasm. He had
never seen Edward so engaged, and Carlisle could see why. He
could see from her eyes that she was definitely an intelligent,
intuitive type that would seek the truth: a perfect foil for Edward.
A whistle to his right called Carlisle back to the present.
The sun was setting and Emmett had closed in on another group

472!
of deer. Carlisle ran forward and to the left and Eleazar came in
from the right and seconds later each of them had another kill
and Carlisle felt the familiar warmth of the blood as it slid down
his throat and filled his stomach. Somehow, however, it didn’t
satisfy him.
Emmett was nearby and had finished drinking but
instead of running off to find another he was just standing there
staring at the dead animal at his feet.
Esme stood up and cocked her head. “Emmett?
Sweetheart? What is it?”
Suddenly, Emmett turned to the large tree nearest to him
and started to punch it with his fists, yelling with every strike he
punched the tree over and over until the bark was pulverized and
he was well into the wood. Carlisle ran over with Esme and
Eleazar and he tried to pull Emmett off the tree but when they
got a hold of his arms he started kicking it. He kicked the tree
harder and harder as if he wanted to knock it down. Jasper
arrived to help them, and finally, they pulled him away from the
tree and Esme put both hands on Emmett’s face.
“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, Emmett!” She said quietly.
Emmett stopped struggling and his face wrinkled up as
he finally let a sob escape his lips. He pulled his arms free and
hugged Esme, and they cried without tears for Bella.
Carlisle looked away, feeling his own grief take hold of
his stomach. Suddenly he wasn’t very thirsty anymore. “Jasper,
take Emmett back to Rosalie. You should be with Alice too.

473!
You’ve both had enough to hold you for a little while and you
can hunt near the house tomorrow,” then he started to walk
away. Esme kissed Emmett’s forehead, squeezed Jasper’s hand
and then followed Carlisle.
Jasper watched Carlisle walk away, then said to Eleazar,
“You’ll be okay?”
Eleazar nodded. “Of course, Jasper. We’ll return in
another day or two.”
Esme caught up with Carlisle and they walked for hours,
further and further into the woods. As the moon rose over the
forest they climbed up into a tree and watched the birds of prey
hunting.
“Do you remember when Bella first came to the house?”
Carlisle said after four hours of silence.
Esme smiled. “Edward played my song, and then he
played the song he wrote for Bella.”
“She had already decided she wanted to be part of the
family at that point,” Carlisle said sadly.
Esme nodded. “Yes, I could see it in her eyes even
then.”
“And I could see it in Edward that afternoon, when we
played baseball. His heart had already molded to fit hers.”
Carlisle looked over at Esme, “How could he ever leave her?”
Esme picked up Carlisle’s hand. “For the same reason
Raisa left you. Because he knew that if he stayed her death was a
certainty, and it would have been his fault.”

474!
 Carlisle frowned and then squeezed Esme’s hand and
looked up at the thin sliver remnant of the waning moon. It
would be a new moon in two days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleazar drove back to the house in Denali and Carlisle

watched the scenery flash past him. The trip had been helpful,
but he did not want to stay away from the others for very long
because he knew they all needed each other.
As they drove up the long driveway Carlisle finally
turned toward the house, and he saw something that made his
cold heart sink. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were standing on the
porch, and they did not look happy. Tanya, Kate and Irina pulled
up first and Carlisle had his door open before Eleazar stopped
the car.
Carlisle walked up to Jasper because he was standing in
front. He looked into Carlisle’s eyes, and gathered his strength.
“Alice left right after we went to Wonder Lake. She was
obsessed with trying to do something to help Charlie. She found
Bella alive.”
Carlisle smiled, “But,” then he laughed, relieving the
tension in his chest. “That’s wonderful! How?”
Jasper was not smiling. “Jacob Black is a werewolf. He
rescued Bella, and apparently Alice cannot see the future of the

475!
wolves. She didn’t call us immediately because she was afraid of
affecting events any more, and she wanted to keep Bella safe.”
Carlisle nodded, processing this information. Then he
looked back at Jasper’s expression and he frowned. “There is
more, isn’t there?”
Jasper sighed. “Rosalie called Edward yesterday while
Emmett and I were hunting again to finish filling our thirst. She
wanted to try to convince him to come home before you got
back. She finally got a hold of him this morning and she told him
Alice had seen that Bella was dead, hoping it would give him the
freedom to return.” Rosalie did not move or react; Emmett put a
hand on her shoulder and squeezed it.
“Edward hung up on Rosalie and called Bella’s house.
Jacob answered so Edward pretended to be you and Jacob told
him that Bella’s father was ‘at the funeral.’ But it wasn’t Bella’s
funeral, Harry Clearwater died two days ago. Alice tried to call
Edward back but he’s thrown away his phone somewhere in
Rio.” Jasper took a deep breath and frowned deeply. “Carlisle,
she’s seen that Edward is heading to – to Volterra.”
Carlisle’s eyes widened and he knew instantly what
Edward’s plan was, and he could see that Jasper knew it too.
“Alice called me from the plane. Their flight will be less
two hours behind him, but…”
“They’re going too?” Carlisle whispered harshly.
Jasper’s jaw was tight, “They’re going to try to stop
him.” His brows came together and his pain deepened as he

476!
thought of Alice was walking directly into the lion’s den to try to
save Edward.
Carlisle stared at Jasper. Jasper knew that Carlisle
understood there was nothing they could do. Edward would
reach Volterra hours before anyone else could. He would be
facing Aro alone. And then Aro would have Alice and Bella too.
Carlisle’s mind raced ahead with all of the possible outcomes of
that encounter as Esme drew her arms around him.
“Alice has promised to call immediately once she knows
anything,” Jasper said with a hollow voice.
Carlisle hugged Esme back, kissed her forehead, and
then walked into the house without saying a word, leaving them
all standing on the porch. Esme began to sob quietly, and Jasper
put his arms around her and tried desperately to project some
calm into the house, but he failed. Rosalie still did not move.
Carlisle walked slowly up the stairs to his room. He
stood in silence, staring out the window at the trees swaying in
the morning breeze. Then he looked over at the bedside table and
saw the Bible Eleazar had given him for his three hundredth
birthday.
Carlisle walked over and picked up the Bible. He stared
at it for several minutes. Then he flipped open the book to Psalm
61.
“May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him. Then I will
ever sing praise to your name and fulfill my vows day after

477!
day…” Carlisle sank to his knees and bowed his head as he tried
to hold back the sobs.
Please, was all he could think to ask of God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jasper answered the phone when Alice called. She had

Edward and Bella with her and they were speeding toward the
airport, trying to beat the sunrise so they could be safely indoors
until their flight. Esme took care of the flights online while Alice
was still on the phone. She decided that it was essential that they
get Bella home as soon as possible and put Alice, Edward and
Bella on flights from Rome to Atlanta, and Atlanta to Seattle.
Then she packed up the family and they flew to Washington to
meet them.
After they landed Esme sent their ample luggage directly
to the house, which had been closed up since they left because
they could not face the idea of someone else living in it. The
family waited in a dark corner of the clubroom at the airport all
day but none of them spoke. Rosalie and Carlisle barely moved,
and Jasper could not comfort them because his own anxiety was
overwhelming. When the plane they were waiting for was on the
ground they walked to the baggage claim area and waited. The
minutes crawled by agonizingly as they watched dozens of
people from other flights pass by them. Esme was shaking with

478!
anticipation, and she gasped when she finally saw Alice, Edward
and Bella.
Carlisle found it difficult to look at his son as he walked
toward the family. He focused his eyes on Bella, pushing down
his jumble of feelings at seeing Edward alive: relief, joy,
excruciating hurt, anger, remorse, sadness all coursed through
him.
Esme hugged Bella. “Thank you so much.” She threw
her arms around Edward next. “You will NEVER do that to me
ever again!” she growled.
“Sorry, Mom,” Edward said remorsefully.
Then Esme leaned closer and whispered, “Or to your
father!”
Carlisle heard her and he turned his head away as
Edward looked at him with pained eyes. He knew that Edward
was scanning his thoughts but he did not have a coherent one to
give his son. All that he had was an unstable mass of emotion.
Suddenly, he felt Jasper’s calm washing over him; as Jasper had
Alice back in his arms, the peace he felt was affecting everyone
in the terminal.
Carlisle finally took a deep breath, and turned back
toward his son, and saw the remorse and sadness in Edward’s
eyes. It did not cure all of the hurt feelings that were preventing
Carlisle from embracing him, but he put a hand on Edward’s
shoulder and thought in his mind the words that he said to
Edward every time he returned. Welcome home, son.

479!
 As Carlisle started to turn away Edward whispered, “I’m
sorry I hurt you. I hope someday you can forgive me.”
Carlisle sighed. Son, of course you are forgiven. And you
are a man, you may leave any time you feel it is right. Carlisle
squeezed Edward’s shoulder, But please… don’t willingly put
yourself in danger, EVER again. I don’t know if – if I can bear it.
Then Carlisle turned to Bella. “Thank you, Bella, we
owe you,” he said very quietly.
“She’s dead on her feet,” Esme scolded Edward. “Let’s
get her home.”
Carlisle let Esme and Edward support Bella, Jasper and
Alice led the way. Suddenly, Carlisle put a hand on the pillar
next to him. The strain over the last twenty-four hours had begun
to weigh on him in such a way that he felt tired. Carlisle locked
his legs to prevent himself from showing any weakness. Within
seconds he gathered his strength and quickly caught up to the
group before they could notice he had lagged behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle was sitting in the dark in his office doing a

complete check of his physiology. His skin integrity was
unchanged save for the old gouge mark scars on his arm and the
web-shaped scar that covered the left side of his neck. His
vision, lung volume, balance, strength, hearing, touch sensation,

480!
and cognition were all perfect. He could not explain what had
happened to him at the airport.
As he slipped his shirt back on and quickly buttoned it
up he started to wonder if he was making something of nothing.
Everything seemed fine, and though he had never experienced
any sensation of vertigo before as a vampire, he supposed that it
could not be outside the realm of possibility. And then he
knotted his tie, and decided to forget about the entire incident.
Carlisle looked up as he was buckling his belt, Edward
had just arrived and the front door closed. Bella’s unmistakable
scent flowed up to Carlisle’s nose. “Carlisle? Esme? Rosalie?
Emmett? Jasper? Alice?”
Carlisle slipped his scarf around his neck and then flew
down the stairs with out a whisper of sound and stood next to
Bella. “Welcome back, Bella,” he said as he smiled down at her.
“What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the
hour, that this is not a purely social visit?”
Bella nodded, a small fire in her eyes. “I’d like to talk to
everyone at once, if that’s okay. About something important.”
Carlisle’s eyes flashed over to Edward, and Edward’s
expression was displeased but resigned. Whatever was going on
was not his idea. Carlisle looked back at Bella who had seen him
glance up at Edward. “Of course. Why don’t we talk in the other
room?”
Carlisle walked though the formal living room and
around the corner into the dining room, waving his hand in front

481!
of the dimmer. The white walls and high ceilings were slowly
illuminated up to full light by recessed ceiling lights along the
walls and a low-hanging chandelier. Carlisle walked to the end
of the polished oval table and pulled out his customary chair at
the head of the table which he only occupied when they used the
space for family meetings. The last time he had sat there they
discussed whether or not to end Bella’s life, and now he was
inviting her to sit down. It took a moment for Bella to realize that
he was holding out the chair for her. She quickly moved forward
and sat down as he gently pushed the chair in behind her.
When they entered the dining room it was empty, but by
the time Bella was seated and looked up, the entire family was in
the dining room. Carlisle sat on Bella’s right, Edward on the left.
Everyone else sat down and their expressions were curious,
except Alice who already knew what was about to happen.
Carlisle nodded toward Bella. “The floor is yours.”
Bella swallowed nervously, but then bravely stuck out
her chin. “Well, I’m hoping Alice has already told you
everything that happened in Volterra?”
“Everything,” Alice echoed.
“Good,” Bella swallowed again gathering her strength.
“So I have a problem. Alice promised the Volturi that I would
become one of you. They’re going to send someone to check,
and I’m sure that’s a bad thing – something to avoid. And so,
now, this involves you all. I’m sorry about that.” Bella’s eyes
were apologetic as they swept across the faces around the table.

482!
Edward was avoiding her gaze. “But, if you don’t want me, then
I’m not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing to
transform me or not. Please, let me finish.” Bella put up a finger
to stop Esme from interrupting. “You all know what I want. And
I’m sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair
way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you
don’t want me then…I guess I’ll go back to Italy alone. I can’t
have them coming here.” Bella’s forehead creased.
Carlisle looked up at Edward as he growled in his chest.
Bella ignored him. “Taking into account then, that I won’t put
any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on
the issue of me becoming a vampire.”
“Just a minute,” Edward interrupted. “I have something
to add before we vote. About the danger Bella’s referring to, I
don’t think we need to be overly anxious.” Edward leaned
forward and looked around the table. “You see, there was more
than one reason why I didn’t want to shake Aro’s hand there at
the end. There’s something they didn’t think of, and I didn’t
want to clue them in.” Edward grinned.
“Which was?” Alice said skeptically.
“The Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason.
When they decide to find someone, it’s not really a problem. Do
you remember Demetri?” He turned to Bella and she shuddered.
“He finds people – that’s his talent, why they keep him. Now,
the whole time I was picking their brains for anything that might
save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how

483!
Demetri’s talent works. He’s a tracker – a tracker a thousand
times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related
to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the … flavor? I don’t
know how to describe it… the tenor… of someone’s mind, and
then he follows that. It works over immense distances. But after
Aro’s little experiments testing your resistance to him and Jane,
well…” Edward shrugged.
“You think he won’t be able to find me,” Bella said.
Edward smiled up at Carlisle. Carlilse did not smile
back. Edward looked smugly at Bella. “I’m sure of it. He relies
totally on that other sense. When it doesn’t work with you,
they’ll be blind.”
“And how does that solve anything?” Bella said testily.
“Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they’re
planning a visit, and I’ll hide you. They’ll be helpless. It will be
like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!” Edward’s eyes
were bright with satisfaction.
“But they can find you,” Bella replied with a frown.
“And I can take care of myself.” Edward waved his
hand. Carlisle frowned.
Emmett laughed and reached across the table extending
his fist. “Excellent plan, my brother.” Edward stretched out his
arm and pounded Emmett’s fist.
“No,” Rosalie hissed.
“Absolutely not,” Bella growled.
“Nice,” Jasper said approvingly.

484!
 “Idiots,” Alice muttered.
Esme just glared at Edward angrily.
Bella cleared her throat calling the table to order. “All
right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to
consider. Let’s vote.” Her voice was now all business as she
turned to Edward. “Do you want me to join your family?”
Edward’s eyes were hard. “Not that way. You’re staying
human.”
Bella turned to the next person. “Alice?”
“Yes.”
“Jasper?”
“Yes.”
“Rosalie?”
Rosalie paused, biting her lip. “No,” she responded,
putting up her hands to stop Bella from moving on. “Let me
explain. I don’t mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister.
It’s just that… this is not the life I would have chosen for myself.
I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.”
Carlisle knew that she loved him and the family, but the
truth still hurt enough for a slight crease to appear between his
brows.
Bella nodded slowly and then turned to Emmett, who
replied, “Hell yes! We can find some other way to pick a fight
with this Demetri,” and he grinned.
Esme looked back at Bella. “Yes, of course, Bella. I
already think of you as part of my family.”

485!
 “Thank you, Esme.” And finally, Bella turned to Carlisle
with fear in her eyes, but he was not looking at her; he was
staring at his folded hands and his brow was furrowed. He could
feel the eyes of everyone at the table on him, especially Edward.
Carlisle had carefully kept his mind completely blank
during the vote, simply processing everything that was said. But
then he lifted his chin and looked up at Edward. Your plan will
not work. Bella will not allow you to be put in danger. Carlisle
saw Edward’s brow furrow. I have never been a part of changing
a healthy human, but if we do not take responsibility for her, she
will not be healthy for long. Aro will never give up. Now that he
has seen you, and your memories of my family, he will be coming
for me. For all of us. We must protect Bella.
Edward began to shake his head. Carlisle spoke with
great compassion, “Edward,” please son, see reason.
“No,” Edward growled. His jaw clenched.
“It’s the only way that makes sense,” Carlisle insisted.
“You’ve chosen not to live without her, and that doesn’t leave
me a choice.” Carlisle’s gaze pierced Edwards, “I won’t lose my
son.”
Edward dropped Bella’s hand, shoved his chair back and
stalked from the room, snarling with rage.
Carlisle unfolded his hands and put his palms down on
the table as he leaned back. “I guess you know my vote,” he
sighed, and looked up at Bella sadly.
“Thanks,” Bella mumbled, her eyes following Edward.

486!
 An earsplitting crash echoed from the living room and
Carlisle sighed. Edward had just destroyed Carlisle’s brand new
60-inch plasma screen. Emmett would be watching football on
the TV in his office until he could replace it.
Bella flinched but quickly went back to business.
“That’s all I needed. Thank you, for wanting to keep me. I feel
exactly the same way about all of you too.” Bella’s voice broke.
Esme was at her side, and hugged her. “Dearest Bella.”
“Well, Alice, where do you want to do this?” Bella said
standing up.
Alice stared, her eyes wide with terror. Edward roared
from the living room. “No! No! NO!” He charged back in and
pulled Bella’s face away from Alice. “Are you insane? Have you
utterly lost your mind??”
“Um, Bella, I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’ll need to
prepare,” Alice said anxiously.
“You promised,” Bella glared.
“I know but… seriously, Bella! I don’t have any idea
how to not kill you.”
“You can do it, I trust you,” Bella said confidently as
Edward snarled again.
Alice shook her head again, so Bella turned to her right.
“Carlisle?”
Edward put a palm in Carlisle’s face pulling Bella’s
head toward him again, but Carlisle ignored him. “I’m able to do
it. You would be in no danger of me losing control.”

487!
 “Sounds good,” Bella mumbled because she was being
inhibited by Edward’s grip.
“Hold on! It doesn’t have to be now!” Edward said
desperately.
“There’s no reason for it not to be now,” Bella was
becoming irritated.
“I can think of a few,” Edward shot back.
“Of course you can. Now let go of me.” Bella freed
herself from Edward’s grip
Edward folded his arms. “In about two hours, Charlie
will be here looking for you. I wouldn’t put it past him to involve
the police.”
“All three of them,” Bella said dismissively, but then she
frowned, and so did Carlisle. Charlie had been forward in
Carlisle’s thoughts, but he still could not see another solution.
This way Carlisle knew that Charlie’s daughter would be safe.
“In the interest of remaining inconspicuous, I suggest
that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella
finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie’s house,” Edward
pleaded.
Carlisle looked up from the table. “That’s a reasonable
request, Bella.” Carlisle suddenly felt even better about the
decision. It was a perfect compromise.
Bella frowned. “I’ll consider it.”
Edward relaxed a little. “I should probably take you
home. Just in case Charlie wakes up early.”

488!
 Bella looked down at Carlisle who was now looking at
her. “After graduation?”
Carlisle considered the implications one more time of
agreeing and not agreeing. He came to the same conclusion.
“You have my word,” he nodded.
Bella smiled down at Carlisle and he was once again
conflicted. He was furious that Caius felt he could exert his will
and rule of the law on Carlisle. Most of all Carlisle was angry
that Aro had touched any of his children, especially Bella. He
was intrigued by Bella’s resistance to Aro’s power, but knew
that Aro would see it as another reason to focus his energy on
regaining control over Carlisle.
In addition to those worries, Carlisle was also quite sad.
He wondered what Alice’s vision of Bella as a vampire looked
like. Was she happy? Did she have the same regrets that Rosalie
still harbored? Did she resent him for changing her? It seemed
unlikely that this story could end badly, but as he watched
Edward rush Bella out of the house before anything else could
transpire, Carlisle was not as relieved as he thought he would be
to have a resolution to the question of whether or not Bella
would become a vampire.
The story was, after all, far from over.

489!
490!
 CHAPTER 22
~~2006~~

ECLIPSE
The trees were passing in a blur as Alice ran in the lead
and Carlisle was right behind her with Jasper at his side. Rosalie
and Esme were flanking wide right and left with Emmett
bringing up the rear. Victoria’s trail was skirting the Quileute
treaty border perfectly. That in and of itself worried Carlisle.
Only the Cullens and the Quileute knew that border and Carlisle
could not even begin to understand how she had found it. But it
was a perfect method for evading them.
Alice was leading them ahead because she knew exactly
where Victoria was going to cross the border again. Carlisle
wished he had Edward and his speed at that moment, but at the
same time Edward was unpredictable when he was emotionally
involved. It was better that he had taken Alice’s advice and
removed Bella to Jacksonville for the weekend.

491!
 Alice suddenly slowed and turned. “NO!” Carlisle’s
head whipped around and he saw Emmett running toward the
border.
“EMMETT!! STOP!!” Carlisle changed directions and
ran toward his son but Jasper was faster and ran ahead.
“I GOT HER!!” Emmett roared.
Carlisle could see flying red hair streaking between the
enormous trees just beyond the border. “EMMETT!!”
Emmett was within about twenty meters of Victoria and
he took a flying leap. Jasper was forced to stop short at the
border. Just as Emmett went airborne an enormous stormy gray
werewolf appeared and lunged with a snarling growl at the red-
headed vampire. Carlisle watched helplessly as Emmett collided
with the gray werewolf and Victoria nimbly evaded both attacks.
Emmett bounced off the werewolf and flew into an
enormous thousand year-old tree and knocked the tree slightly
askew. When Emmett fell to the ground he did not get up. The
gray werewolf also glanced off Emmett and fell with a whimper,
but quickly stood up and roared at Emmett. Emmett finally
pulled himself off the ground by gripping the giant tree and cried
out, holding his right leg. His face twisted with pain but he still
managed to growl back at the giant gray werewolf.
“EMMETT, YOU ARE OVER THE BORDER!! CAN
YOU MOVE? IF NOT I’LL COME GET YOU!” Carlisle
yelled. Rosalie ran past Carlisle. “ROSALIE, NO!!”

492!
 Rosalie roared just as two more werewolves appeared
and growled back at her. She defiantly put an arm around
Emmett and together they jumped back across the border.
Rosalie tried to absorb the weight of the jump and hold Emmett
up, but he landed on his bad leg and fell to the ground again
groaning in pain.
At that moment the rest of the pack arrived including the
leader. Carlisle had to leave Rosalie and Esme to watch over
Emmett and he went to the border and put up his hands in front
of the leader. “Sam! This was an accident! Emmett was trying to
catch the intruder! Please! Listen to me!” Alice and Jasper were
at Carlisle’s side and an overwhelming feeling of calm overtook
Carlisle. He had never felt Jasper use his full strength, but if
there ever was a time to use it, this was the perfect moment.
Sam was growling as he approached, but by the time he
came close to the vampires he was still rumbling in his throat but
his teeth were no longer bared.
Carlisle kept his hands up. “I’m sorry we ran into each
other this way, but trust me, the intruder is the enemy here! Let
us continue the chase! We are losing time!”
Sam turned his head in the direction Victoria had gone.
He barked, and the entire pack bolted away at blinding speed.
“Let us help you! We can run with you and trap her!”
Carlisle pleaded.

493!
 Sam growled again and his lips curled up over his teeth.
The answer was no. Then he turned and ran off again in the
direction his pack had gone.
Carlisle dropped his hands and sighed.
“She’s gone, they won’t catch her,” Alice said with
frustration.
Carlisle immediately turned and walked toward Emmett.
Without a word he knelt next to him and ripped up the side of
Emmett’s pants. He found a deep crack along the line of
Emmett’s iliotibial tract on the outside of his thigh between his
quadriceps and hamstring muscles.
“Damn it, Emmett, Rosalie, if either of you ever disobey
me like that again and put the treaty in jeopardy…” Carlisle’s
quiet fury caused them all to cringe.
“I’m sorry, sir – ARGH! Never again!” Emmett cried
out as Carlisle used strips of Emmett’s pants to wrap his leg.
“Don’t put any weight on this leg – no, never mind. I’m
going to carry you, we can’t let this crack move any higher
because it might reach your hip.” Carlisle threw Emmett over his
shoulder and the family retreated from the border.
Victoria was still at large and they had no idea of her
next move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

494!
 Carlisle, Esme and Jasper were sitting on the wide
leather couches and watching CNN intently. Carlisle was leaning
back and rubbing Esme’s shoulders, while Jasper was sitting up
perfectly straight. Alice sat at the bottom of the staircase
frowning but listening to the news. The entire family was on
edge, with the exception of Emmett, of course. Carlisle worried
that even after his encounter with the werewolves that Emmett
still seemed to believe he was bulletproof. He was, of course,
bulletproof, but also not completely invulnerable.
Emmett ambled casually into the living room as Bella
and Edward walked into the house. “Hey, Edward. Ditching,
Bella?” he asked with a grin.
“We both are,” Edward said, tossing the paper to
Carlisle who caught it with one hand. “Did you see that they’re
considering a serial killer now?”
Carlisle waved the paper toward the enormous flat
screen television. “They’ve had two specialists debating that
possibility on CNN all morning.”
“We can’t let this go on,” Edward grumbled.
“Let’s go now,” Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm.
“I’m dead bored.” A hiss echoed down the stairway from
upstairs. “She’s such a pessimist,” Emmett muttered.
Edward agreed. “We’ll have to go sometime.”
Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended
slowly, her face smooth and expressionless except for her eyes

495!
which were full of fury. She had not borne Emmett’s injury well
and was very displeased with his casual attitude.
Carlisle was shaking his head as he watched Rosalie
approach. “I’m concerned. We’ve never involved ourselves in
this kind of thing before. We aren’t the Volturi and this is
uncontrolled vampire activity.”
“I don’t want the Volturi to have to come here! It gives
us so much less reaction time,” Edward protested.
“And all those innocent humans in Seattle that are dying
– it’s not right to let them die this way,” Esme murmured.
Carlisle squeezed her shoulders. “I know.”
Edward suddenly turned to look at Jasper, “I didn’t think
of that. I see. You’re right, that has to be it. Well, that changes
everything.” His tone was forlorn. “You’d better explain to the
others. What could be the purpose of this?” Edward started to
pace the floor.
Jasper hesitated as all eyes turned toward him and he
scanned their faces, but he stopped at Bella. “You’re confused.”
“We’re all confused,” Emmett grumbled.
Jasper turned back to Emmett. “You can afford the time
to be patient. Bella should understand this too. She’s part of the
family.”
Jasper turned to look at Edward who responded to his
unspoken question. “No, I’m sure you can understand why I
haven’t told her that story, Jasper. But I suppose she needs to
hear it now.”

496!
 Jasper nodded and then started to roll up the arm of his
ivory cashmere sweater. Then he turned to the table lamp next to
him and traced his finger over a raised crescent mark on his pale
skin.
“Oh, Jasper you have a scar exactly like mine,” Bella
breathed.
Jasper smiled faintly, “I have a lot of scars like yours,
Bella.” He pushed the thin sweater higher up his arm and Bella
looked closer and closer until she gasped. Her human eyes could
barely perceive what the vampires all saw perfectly clearly:
curved half-moons covered Jasper’s arm in a feathery pattern of
hundreds of venom scars from vampire bites.
“Jasper what happened to you?” Bella whispered.
Carlisle tuned out for most of Jasper’s story because he
knew it only too well. A vampire had transformed Jasper
specifically for his military skills as an officer in the Confederate
Army. He had been taken to the southern hemisphere to fight in
the unending blood battles. Covens created entire armies over
and over to fight for their hunting grounds. Jasper had spent his
first 100 years as a vampire in a living hell.
“An army,” Alice whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Carlisle turned away from the television to look back at
his son and Jasper returned the look glumly. “I thought I must
have been interpreting the signs incorrectly. Where is the
motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is
no history there, no vendetta like there is in the south. It makes

497!
no sense from a conquest standpoint either; no one claims
Seattle. Nomads pass through, but there’s no one to fight for it.
But I’ve seen this before, and there’s no other explanation. There
is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle – fewer than twenty,
I’d guess – but, they are totally untrained. Whoever made them
just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won’t be much
longer until the Volturi step in. Actually, I’m surprised they’ve
let this go on so long.” Jasper was looking directly at Carlisle as
he finished.
Carlisle’s lips were now slightly parted in shock. “What
can we do?”
Jasper’s eyes were hard. “If we want to avoid the
Volturi’s involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns,
and we will have to do it very soon. I can teach you how. It
won’t be easy in the city because they don’t care about secrecy,
but we will have to be.”
Edward had stopped pacing and was staring at the
television at the headline on the screen: Pattern suggests the
killer is moving west. “Maybe we won’t have to.” Edward’s
voice was bleak. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only
possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an
army is… us?”
Jasper’s eyes narrowed. Carlisle’s eyes widened.
Esme put a hand on Carlisle’s leg. “Tanya’s family is
also near,” she said slowly.

498!
 “The newborns aren’t ravaging Anchorage, Esme.”
Edward said quietly.
“They are not coming after us,” Alice insisted and then
her mouth hung open. “Or… they don’t know that they are. Not
yet. I can’t see a clear picture… someone’s changing their mind,
moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I
can’t get a good view…”
“Indecision?” Jasper offered.
“Not indecision, knowledge. Someone who knows you
can’t see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is
hiding from us.” Edward’s eyes were dark. “Aro knows you as
well as you know yourself. He touched you in Volterra.”
“Why?” Carlisle’s eyes narrowed. “There’s no reason
for the Volturi – ”
“In Aro’s mind he saw me at his right hand and Alice at
his left: the present and the future, virtual omniscience. The
power of the idea intoxicated him. But there was also the thought
of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The
jealousy and the fear: you having…not more than he had, but
things that he wanted. The idea of rooting out the competition
was there. Ours is the largest coven they’ve ever found…”
Carlisle’s features were becoming dangerously
shadowed. “They’re too committed to their mission. They would
never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything
they’ve worked for.”

499!
 “They’ll clean up afterward. A double betrayal.” Edward
was just as grim.
Jasper shook his head. “No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi
do not break rules and this is too sloppy.” He pointed to the
television. “This person has no idea what they are doing. I
cannot believe the Volturi are involved – but they will be.”
Carlisle bent over and ran his hands through his blond
locks. Aro could not be behind this. He was capable of
underhanded tactics, like the ambush on Alistair long ago in
Italy, but this was on an entirely different scale. There was truth
in what Edward said; he could see every thought Edward was
describing as if he was looking directly into Aro’s mind: the
jealousy, the fear, and the desire.
“What are we waiting for?” Emmett said impatiently.
Carlisle folded his hands in front of his mouth and
looked up at Edward. I’m sure Aro is not involved yet, but Jasper
is right. If we don’t stop this, they will come. And while I do not
believe he would try to destroy me to get to you, I doubt he
would leave without you. We must act. Edward nodded once.
Carlisle stood up. “We’ll need you to teach us, Jasper.”
His jaw was set, but there was deep pain in his eyes. His hand
was being forced again toward violence.
Jasper nodded. “We’re going to need help. Do you think
Tanya’s family would be willing? Another five mature vampires,
and Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous. It
would be almost easy, with their aid.”

500!
 “We’ll ask,” Carlisle said uncertainly. He was worried
about involving them. Tanya would not take a confrontation with
the Volturi lightly.
Jasper held out his mobile phone. “We need to hurry.”
Carlisle hesitated for just a moment, and then took the
phone and paced over to the windows as he dialed. He held the
phone to his ear and laid the other hand against the cold glass.
He stared out at the fog with his brow creased.
“Jasper?” Tanya answered the phone abruptly.
“It’s Carlisle, Tanya,” he said low and quick.
“Carlisle, why are you calling?” She sounded strange,
distant.
“Tanya, we have a serious problem brewing here, and
I’m calling to ask if you can help.”
Tanya paused. “You’re talking about the vampire
activity in Seattle, aren’t you?”
“Jasper believes that the vampires are a newborn army
that is being created by someone who is just letting them loose
with no training, allowing them to slaughter humans at will. But
Edward believes there is a plan… that they are meant to attack
Forks.” Carlisle was still speaking low and fast, but he still had
trouble getting the last words out.
“Why would they attack you?” Tanya seemed
completely surprised.

501!
 “We have one enemy right now, a vampire named
Victoria who blames us for the death of her mate; she might be
irrational enough to attempt this,” Carlisle said exasperated.
Tanya was silent for a moment. “And did you kill her
mate?”
Carlisle blinked. “Yes, we did. He was hunting us.”
“And why was he hunting you?” Tanya asked.
“Because he thought tracking Bella would be good
sport,” Carlisle’s brow furrowed. “Will you come and help us?”
Tanya paused again. “Of course, Carlisle. If you’ll do
one thing for us.”
“What do you mean?” Carlisle’s lips thinned.
“It’s Irina you see. She is rather upset that your pet dogs
in Forks killed Laurent.”
“Tanya, he tried to kill Bella. And he was helping
Victoria,” Carlisle growled.
“You all mourned her and protect her as if she was one
of us!” Tanya spat out.
Carlisle was silent. He was so shocked to hear her speak
that way about Bella he had no response.
“Stand aside and let Irina get her revenge and we will
come to help.”
“We didn’t realize…that Irina felt that way.” Carlisle
stood up straight, lowering his hand from the glass and placing it
on his brow.
“The wolves are directly responsible – ”

502!
 “There is no question of that,” Carlisle interrupted with
an edge in his voice, “But we have a truce. They haven’t broken
it, and neither have we.”
“Then you have made your choice, and we cannot help
you,” Tanya said coldly.
“Where is Eleazar, Tanya?” Carlisle was almost
growling at this point, his voice was so low.
“He is out hunting for vampires with Carmen. They have
been gone for two weeks and they are far beyond mobile
reception,” Tanya said impassively.
“I’m sorry to hear that. We’ll just have to do our best
alone.” Carlisle shut the phone without waiting for an answer.
He continued to stare out into the fog. The cloudiness of the
future of his family consumed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle kept his relaxed, gracious smile perfectly in

place. He was not going to allow anything to ruin Alice’s fun or
Bella’s graduation party. Like Edward, Carlisle was determined
that Bella should have all of the experiences of growing up that
were available to her.
Esme was stationed at the corner bar, serving non-
alcoholic drinks to the entire class of graduates. None of the
students of Forks High School could resist the chance to have a
peek inside the mysterious Cullen household. Alice had spared

503!
no expense in creating a glamorous world for everyone to enjoy,
and Carlisle appreciated the opportunity to ensure all the kids
had a fun and safe evening. There was juvenile entertainment for
those who enjoyed bouncy castles and slip n’ slides out in the
back yard, and inside the house was a club-like atmosphere for
kids who just wanted to dance the night away.
Carlisle had a path that he was walking every hour
patrolling the mayhem and keeping a close watch on his family.
They were all on alert due to the danger brewing just a few miles
away. Carlisle had been trying for over a week to contact his
many friends and acquaintances to prepare for the coming fight,
but as yet he had failed. Garrett was a nomad and never carried a
phone. Siobhan was not in the country and could not reach them
fast enough. Alistair was missing completely. And despite all of
his efforts he could not find Eleazar, who Carlisle knew would
be at his side in an instant if he knew what was happening.
Carlisle was not shocked by Tanya’s loyalty to Irina, but
knew there had to be a larger reason that she would let a dispute
over a vampire who had no loyalty to either family to allow her
to abandon them in their hour of need. Carlisle knew that part of
the problem was Tanya was angry with Edward for choosing
Bella over her, but the hurt went back further. Eleazar’s words
over the last Spring Break haunted him. Carlisle himself had
abandoned the Denali coven to pursue his mission to help
humanity, but then he had gone on to create another family,
separate from the one he left behind. The Denali girls had been

504!
abandoned by their mother when she selfishly pursued her wish
to keep an eternal child, and then he had abandoned them. And
even worse, he seemed to care more for his new family than his
old one. Carlisle felt keenly that he was fully to blame for the
Cullens’ current dire situation.
Carlisle was walking across the back porch and scanning
the students as they bounced and slid on the inflated rides when
he heard Alice approach. As soon as he saw her face he knew
what she was going to say.
“How much time until they arrive?” He said quickly and
quietly.
Alice’s eyes were wide. “Less than three days.”
Carlisle frowned. “Not here, my office.” They walked up
the back staircase, and Jasper followed them. Jasper had sensed
Alice’s change in mood and probably heard everything that they
had just said to each other.
As soon as they entered Carlisle’s office Jasper growled,
“We have to start talking about other options.”
Emmett and Esme walked in next.
“What is going on?” Esme said nervously.
“We have to consider how we’re going to take on more
than twenty newborns, Carlisle. We are going to need the
strength!” Jasper pleaded.
Carlisle frowned deeply. “Jasper, I know that there is a
temporary boost in power with consuming human blood, but it
won’t be a match for the newborns who are still completely

505!
engorged with their own blood. Breaking our vow is not the
answer.”
Rosalie walked up just as the argument was beginning.
“I won’t do it, I don’t care what you say it will do for me. I have
complete confidence in my abilities.”
Emmett shrugged. “But we may need any advantage we
can get, babe.”
Alice turned her head toward the door. “I’m going to get
Edward and Bella, we need to discuss this,” and then she left
without another word.
Jasper decided he needed to keep pressing his case.
“Carlisle, no one is going to help us, we are alone!”
Carlisle shook his head. “Jasper, I know you will do
what you must, I cannot do what you ask.”
Suddenly, Jasper turned his head and ran out of the
room. Emmett rolled his eyes. “What is going on with him?”
Then he looked back at Carlisle. “Look, I’m willing to go with
Jasper on this one. I think that both of us would feel better about
protecting the family. All we need from you is to get some blood
from the bank. No one is getting hurt,” Emmett added, trying to
anticipate Carlisle’s arguments.
Carlisle thought about their perspective. He felt it was
unethical because blood donation was meant to save human
lives, but Carlisle had never felt his family was in such jeopardy
before. If there were ever to be a good enough reason to use

506!
donated blood, this was probably the only occasion he could
think of…
Alice, Jasper, Edward and Bella all burst into the room.
Alice and Jasper were smiling. Edward looked pleased, but Bella
looked like she was going to be sick.
“We have a plan, Carlisle,” Jasper said.
Alice smiled broadly, “The wolves are going to fight
with us.”
Carlisle stood up slowly, then he began to chuckle.
Emmett joined in. And finally, Edward smiled even as Bella
groaned in protest because she feared for the wolves’ lives. She
feared for all of their lives as they worked together to protect
her.
Carlisle walked around his desk, still smiling. “Bella,
you have nothing to worry about. Jasper, it’s time for some more
training.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle stood alone out in the middle of the clearing.

Not two hundred meters away he could already hear them. They
were a rabid mob. The newborns had no grace, no subtlety; they
simply embodied raw power. Edward and his werewolf partner,
Seth, were guarding Bella about nine miles away. He closed his
eyes. Please, God protect them; protect all of us.

507!
 Esme appeared at Carlisle’s side, “Alice says they have
reached the end of the trail, and are splitting into two groups
right now.”
“And the werewolves?” Carlisle asked.
Jasper appeared on Carlisle’s other side, “They are in
position waiting for the ambush group in the forest.”
Carlisle turned to Jasper and nodded, “Well done, son.”
The rest of the family appeared behind them and Alice
smiled, “We are ready.”
Carlisle turned back to Esme and put a hand on her
cheek, “I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes.”
Esme frowned, “You are that confident, are you?”
“Hell yeah, we are,” Emmett chuckled.
Carlisle gave her a half-smile and bent down and rested
his forehead against hers. The newborns were now less than one
hundred meters away and clearing the edge of the tree line.
“My love, forever,” Carlisle whispered. Then he
straightened up and turned and ran with Esme toward the
snarling vampires with Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice.
There were eight newborns and they were relatively
large. Carlisle judged that this was the elite vanguard. Their
strategy was to kill as many as possible, and then the ambush
unit would ensure none escaped the initial assault. However,
Carlisle did not see Victoria among them, and he did not smell
her nearby. The Cullens split into two groups, flanking both

508!
sides of Carlisle and Esme, and then Jasper sprinted ahead and
took down the first newborn.
Carlisle turned toward Alice, “I will cover you, find
Victoria!”
Alice closed her eyes for a split second and Carlisle
turned in time to swing his arm and flip a newborn that was
headed straight for them over and onto the ground. Rosalie
arrived and grabbed the newborn by the head and then brought
her knee down into the newborn’s larynx.
“Nice one!” Emmett roared with laughter.
Alice put a hand on Carlisle’s arm. “She’s not sure
where she’s going, but she has one of them leading her away
from here. I can’t see where they are going, but – CARLISLE!”
Alice pulled Carlisle down just as two newborns crashed
into them. Jasper immediately grabbed the one that had a hand
on Alice, and though the second newborn had missed Carlisle’s
head because of Alice’s vision she had merely done a flip and
now had an arm around his waist. Carlisle jumped up and kicked
the newborn squarely in the abdomen and her hold loosened just
enough for him to pry her fingers off of him and then he landed
with his knee in her chest. She was damaged but she screeched
and with both hands she threw Carlisle off of her and a second
newborn crashed into him.
“EMMETT!! HELP HIM!!” Esme was screaming. But
Carlisle knew that Emmett was busy because he had seen him

509!
fighting off two other newborns with Alice and Jasper just
moments before.
Carlisle skidded across the grass and both newborns
were now on him so he swung his legs around and kicked them
both aside just long enough so he could pop up and then he
knocked the female back twenty feet with his fist before twisting
to the side and cracking the male in the arm so hard his arm
came off in Carlisle’s hand. The male staggered but the female
was running back toward him screaming. Carlisle swung the
dismembered arm at the female’s damaged abdomen and he
heard a sickening crack where the earlier injury gave way, and
her torso fell forward as she split in half. Suddenly, however, the
male with his remaining arm managed to get a strangle hold on
Carlisle’s neck. He tried several escape moves but the newborn’s
strength was keeping him solidly attached to Carlisle’s back, and
he heard the very soft creak at his neck as a sharp pain radiated
through his old web scar and Carlisle cried out.
Then there was a thunderous gallop behind him and a
roar that filled the clearing, and Carlisle was thrown forward and
his face slammed into the dirt. The newborn on his back was
screaming and something was pulling on it even as it was still
trying to separate Carlisle from his head. But suddenly the
newborn’s scream was cut short and then the newborn’s body
and remaining arm were yanked off of him. Before he could
push himself up from the dirt someone had grabbed him by the
shoulders and pulled him up.

510!
 “Why would you take on two by yourself?” Esme cried.
Carlisle kissed her quickly, and then turned toward the
giant wolf who had saved him. “Thank you, Sam!”
Sam still had a dismembered leg in his jaws, so he
dropped it and snuffed at Carlisle. The wolves had driven the
second unit of newborns into the clearing, so while the Cullens
had taken apart four of the eight who attacked them and injured
two of the remaining four, another seven of the ten that the
werewolves had engaged were now in the mix. However, that
meant there was only eleven newborns left, and there were now
fifteen on the home team.
The two leaders, Sam and Carlisle, chose a target and
while Sam roared as he chased the newborn, his deep black fur
bristling, Carlisle came up from behind and twisted the
newborn’s head off. Sam growled in approval as he and Carlisle
finished pulling the newborn apart and then they started a pile
with the remains of the first two that had attacked Carlisle. With
the next target they switched directions, and Carlisle chased a
newborn directly into Sam’s steel jaws and he snapped the
newborn in half.
Jasper and Paul collided with three newborns at once.
Jasper managed to injure one but it ran toward the trees. Alice
and Collin arrived to help and Alice grabbed one of the
newborns by the leg and snapped it off. The newborn tried on
one leg to lunge at Collin, but Paul sank his four-inch teeth into
the torso of the newborn and slammed him headfirst into the

511!
ground so hard he broke apart in Paul’s jaws. Jasper made
certain the head did not remain attached. Jacob grabbed the third
newborn and he and Emmett engaged in an impromptu tug-of-
war and quickly took care of him.
Esme and Quil were staying close to Carlisle and Sam,
but suddenly a group of five newborns attacked in a formation.
They were undisciplined but as the two largest newborns
attacked Carlisle and Sam the other three managed to separate
Esme and Quil and drove them off.
Carlisle turned expecting to find Esme behind him but
she was gone. He frantically scanned the field and saw the
impending slaughter fifty meters away. The newborns had now
managed to isolate Esme from Quil; two had Quil cornered and
one had Esme and another newborn was headed over toward her.
Carlisle turned back to Sam to ask him to come help him
but he had let his guard down for only a split second and a
newborn was flying through the air toward him. Carlisle just
barely managed to duck and shift in time to swing his fist down
and strike the newborn on the back sending him crashing to the
ground. Sam grabbed the newborn by the legs, slamming him
into the ground over and over until the cracks Carlisle had made
finally split the newborn apart.
Carlisle turned desperately toward where he had just
seen Esme and Quil but the entire group was gone again. He
turned back to Sam looking for the second newborn that had
been headed toward them but found Embry had his upper torso

512!
in his jaws and was shaking him like a doll then Jasper sprinted
by and took off the newborn’s head.
“Sam! Esme and Quil were in trouble! Can you find
them?” Carlisle gasped.
Sam lifted his towering head which gave him a better
view, but he also had telepathic communication with Quil. He
turned right and took off running. Carlisle followed behind him
and they found Jacob and Quil were dealing with the two that
had separated Quil from Esme, but Rosalie trying to tear the
arms off a newborn who had gotten a solid grip on Esme’s hair.
Before Carlisle could reach them Esme swept the newborn’s legs
out from under her and then she slammed her elbow into the
newborn’s chest, damaging it enough that Rosalie finally was
able to separate its arm. Then with Esme holding it in place,
Leah roared and used her teeth to maul the newborn’s torso.
Carlilse ran up to Esme and he immediately began
checking her head and slender neck. “Are you harmed??” he
asked frantically.
Esme pulled his hands away and looked up at him. “I’m
fine, my love.” Then she reached up and turned his head running
her fingers over the fine cracks along the scar on his neck. He
flinched slightly as she checked to see how deep the cracks were
but he already knew that they would likely be reabsorbed
without treatment. Then Esme pulled his chin back toward her
and she looked over at Rosalie and grinned, “We are all okay.”
“Alice! Where is Victoria?” Carlisle said urgently.

513!
 Alice was at Carlisle’s side and she put a hand on his
shoulder. “Everything is fine, she and her partner attacked
Edward and Seth – they are fine –” she squeezed Carlisle’s
shoulder as he tensed due to her news. “Edward got Victoria and
he and Seth finished off the male together. They should be here
soon.”
Carlisle looked around and saw Emmett had already
started a bonfire and was whistling as he and Quil tossed remains
into the flames. Most of the other werewolves were fanning out
and sniffing the area because Carlisle knew there was at least
one or two unaccounted for. But then Sam started growling and
took off again. Carlisle looked at Esme and she nodded for him
to go. Carlisle caught up with Sam and found him snarling at a
newborn that was on her knees with her hands in the air.
“SAM!! STOP!!” Carlisle ran up and put a reassuring
hand on Sam’s shoulder, then approached the newborn. “What
are you doing, child?”
She blinked at Carlisle and recoiled from him, shielding
her eyes. “P-please,” she sobbed, “I didn’t know! They said we
were going to be in a fight, but I was just changed a few days
ago! Please don’t kill me!”
Carlisle looked back at Sam for a second, and Sam
growled low and deep in his throat. He didn’t like it, but he
could see Carlisle had already decided. Carlisle looked at the
newborn. “You surrender to us and you will not fight?”
“Yes!” she said desperately.

514!
 Carlisle picked her up by the arm and started back
toward the bonfire. Sam kept unblinking eyes on her the entire
way back and he was still growling at her.
When they reached the bonfire Jasper charged forward.
Even from far away Carlisle could see that Jasper had several
new bites that were bright and swollen on his arms where he had
thrown them up to defend himself, and he had a deep new one on
his neck. “What are you doing, Carlisle?” he said incredulously.
Carlisle gave Jasper a hard look. “This young one has
surrendered. She will not be harmed.” Jasper’s teeth were
clenched and he did not move.
Emmett finally stepped forward and took the newborn’s
arm, then sat her down by the fire. “You see that, little one?” he
pointed to the flames. “You move an inch, bare your teeth, or
look at any of us crooked and that’s where you are going, GOT
IT?”
She looked at him balefully and when he raised his
brows at her she looked to the ground and nodded her head.
Emmett looked up at Carlisle for his approval and Carlisle
frowned but he nodded.
Suddenly, Sam turned his head and howled. The entire
field echoed with cries from every pack member.
“What is it Sam?” Carlisle walked over to his partner.
Sam looked back at Carlisle and whined, then took off again and
Carlisle followed.

515!
 They headed straight for the tree line and Carlisle could
hear two more wolves whimpering. He could see through the
darkness that one was pacing nervously, and the other was on the
ground and shivering with pain.
Sam stopped to make sure that Leah had properly
finished off the newborn that had attacked them, and Carlisle
went straight to the russet-colored werewolf which he
immediately knew was Jacob Black.
“Jacob, it’s Dr. Cullen! Respond if you can hear my
voice!” Jacob dutifully whined. “OK, Jacob that’s good. Now I
need you to stay as calm as possible. I’m going to have a look at
your injuries, all right?”
Jacob whined again and groaned when Carlisle picked
up his right paw. Without even probing deeply Carlisle knew
that Jacob had several broken bones in his right forelimb alone.
Carlisle found a fractured hind leg, shattered wrist, and broken
ribs. Carlisle put his ear to Jacob’s side and confirmed with his
excellent hearing that one of the broken ribs had collapsed
Jacob’s lung.
“He was hiding!” Leah had phased back to human form
behind a tree and was yelling at them as she pulled on her
clothes. She walked out buttoning her shorts. “He was hiding
from us! I found his scent and attacked but he was so fast that he
ran up a tree and dropped behind me! Jacob pushed me out of the
way and slammed into him, but the newborn got a locked hold
on him!” Her face was remorseful as she sat next to Jacob’s

516!
enormous head and frowned holding back tears. “Jake… I’m so
sorry! I’m sorry… for everything. You saved me.”
Carlisle looked up at Jacob’s eyes again. “Jacob, you
have a lot of broken bones. I’m going to brace your limbs and
then we are going to have to move you. Can you phase back for
me, son?”
Jacob whined again in pain.
“He can’t, he can’t concentrate,” Leah said sadly.
“Carlisle!” Alice ran up. “They’re here.”
Carlisle bowed his head slightly. “How many?”
Alice tilted her head. “A small group, no more than six.”
Carlisle looked up at Sam. “Can you smell them?”
Sam snuffed and then growled.
Carlisle nodded. “We have to get the pack out of here,
now. We can handle them, they are just a clean-up contingent.
You do not need to be involved.”
Sam seemed conflicted, but then looked down at Jacob.
When he whimpered again, Sam nodded his head.
“Alice, get me four straight tree limbs at least two inches
in diameter!” Carlisle pulled off his scarf and jacket and Jacob
howled as he checked that the bones were set. Alice returned a
moment later. He used the wood and strips of fabric to hold the
right forelimb and hind limb. Astoundingly, the bones were
already less painful and appeared to be healing.
Carlisle sighed with relief. “Well, I envy werewolf
healing! You are already mending, Jacob.” Jacob tried to move

517!
his right side but howled again in pain. “It will take time, but you
are going to be fine.” Carlisle turned to Sam. “I don’t think you
are going to be able to carry him. You’re going to have to drag
him.”
Carlisle and Alice pulled apart a dead tree that was
mostly hollowed out by termites. The tree shell served nicely as
an emergency sled and they carefully laid Jacob on it on his left
side. The rest of the pack had arrived including Seth; and, using
fabric from their clothes and armbands, they made four tethers,
held them in their mouths, and ran away dragging the sled.
Carlisle watched them go as Esme came up behind him.
“Edward is coming. I can hear him. And you should take a look
at Jasper.”
Carlisle turned back to his family and went directly to
Jasper. Jasper winced as Carlisle checked the edges of the wound
on his neck and forearm. “Carlisle, we really should not keep the
newborn with us. It is a danger to us and the Volturi will not like
it.”
Carlisle looked into Jasper’s eyes for a moment and saw
true concern. “We will show the Volturi who we are.”
“No matter the cost?” Jasper whispered harshly.
Carlisle frowned. “The timing of their appearance
suggests that there will be no cost to us today.”
“Carlisle!” Edward was yelling as he approached. He
was clutching Bella’s limp body close to his chest. Carlisle felt

518!
as if his world was about to shatter, if Bella was hurt… What
happened, son?
Edward’s brow was creased in pain. “She passed out
when I told her about Jacob! But she usually wakes up faster
than this! What did I do to her?”
Carlisle sighed with relief. “You probably gave her a
major shock, son.” Carlisle checked Bella’s pulse. “She’s fine,
just sit down and hold her until she wakes up.”
“Carlisle – it’s been five minutes,” Edward said
anxiously.
“She’ll come around when she’s ready, Edward. She’s
had too much to deal with today, and Jacob is her best friend. Let
her mind protect itself.” Carlisle spoke in calming tones.
“Alice, how long do we have?” Edward said tensely.
“Another five minutes. And Bella will open her eyes in
thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn’t doubt that she can hear us now.”
“Bella, honey?” Esme stroked Bella’s hair. “Can you
hear me? You’re safe now, dear.”
Slowly Bella came around and immediately asked about
Jacob. Carlisle explained everything that had happened and how
Jacob had saved Leah. But suddenly, their captive newborn
started wailing, and Jasper took a step closer to her, growling.
Carlisle was at Jasper’s side in an instant with a restraining hand
on his son’s arm.

519!
 “Have you changed your mind, young one?” Carlisle
kept his voice calm. “We don’t want to destroy you, but we will
if you can’t control yourself.”
“How can you stand it? I want her!” she wailed focusing
her crimson eyes on Edward and Bella.
“You must stand it,” Carlisle’s voice lowered, “You
must exercise control. It is possible, and it is the only thing that
will save you now.” She looked away and clawed the ground as
she tried to control herself. Carlisle looked down at her with pity.
In every vampire he met who struggled with his or her thirst, he
saw an echo of who he once had been. This girl was so young
and inexperienced. Carlisle felt certain that any vampire who
was given the time and attention could have a fighting chance at
abstaining from human blood.
Then Carlisle turned his head; he could hear the Volturi
Guard. Jasper had looked in the same direction as Carlisle, and
then he looked back at his father. Together they backed up away
from the fire and moved closer to Alice, Edward and Bella.
Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme converged behind them. They
encircled their human sister, and Edward locked his arms around
his love.
Carlisle’s face was grave as the petite, cloaked form
flanked by four other giant gray-cloaked Guards all drifted
toward his united family.

520!
 “Welcome, Jane,” Edward said coolly. He clearly felt his
father should only speak to the Volturi themselves. Edward
considered Jane, a mere lieutenant, below Carlisle.
Jane was the only one who tossed back her hood and her
skin glittered in the morning sunlight.
Careful, son, Carlisle said in his mind. Carlisle noted
that Jane’s angelic features were apathetic as she surveyed the
carnage of the battle in the bonfire. Her gaze then moved slowly
across all of the Cullens, lingering for a moment on Carlisle’s
strong, ageless face. Carlisle knew that Aro would have made
sure she knew him on sight. Finally, her gaze slipped to the final
remaining newborn that sat by the fire with her head in her
hands.
Jane looked back at Carlisle. “I don’t understand,” she
said in a toneless but curious voice.
“She has surrendered,” Edward explained.
Jane’s deep red irises flashed toward Edward.
“Surrendered?”
Edward shrugged as if this was a normal thing. “Carlisle
gave her the option.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed at Edward. “There are no options
for those who break the rules,” she said flatly.
Edward began to open his mouth, but Carlisle stopped
him. A fire was growing in his chest. This one is mine, Edward.
“That is in your hands” Carlisle said mildly. Jane’s eyes
jumped back to him. “As long as she was willing to halt her

521!
attack on us, I saw no need to destroy her. She was never
taught.”
Jane seemed to be put slightly off-center by Carlisle’s
words, “That is irrelevant,” she insisted.
Carlisle’s brows came down as he leveled a dangerous
gaze in her direction, and his anger at her lack of compassion
began to build, “As you wish,” Carlisle said with quiet intensity
and his inner power burst outward. Jasper and Alice both reacted
at the same time as Jane and the rest of the Guard as the waves
of power rolled off Carlisle. Jasper looked over at Edward and
realized that this time even he could feel the effects of Carlisle’s
power.
Jane stared at Carlisle with uncharacteristic
consternation. She quickly composed her features as she lifted
her chin and dared to look back into the treacherous depths of
Carlisle’s topaz eyes. “Aro hoped that we would get far enough
west to see you, Carlisle. He sends his regards.”
Carlisle nodded but did not relax his wrathful face. “I
would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him.” Every
word Carlisle spoke was sharp as a knife despite the complete
calm in Carlisle’s tone.
“Of course,” Jane smiled, and Edward could not
suppress a satisfied grin because Jane’s face only betrayed
emotion when she was nervous or upset. “It appears that you’ve
done our work for us today… for the most part. Just out of

522!
professional curiosity, how many were there? They left quite a
wake of destruction in Seattle.”
Carlisle’s eyes narrowed. Aro wants to know how strong
we have become, he said to Edward. “Eighteen, including this
one,” Carlisle said out loud.
Jane’s eyes actually widened and then slipped over to
the fire again, seeming to reassess the size of it. Felix and one of
the other Guards stared at Carlisle and then exchanged a long
glance with each other.
Tread carefully now, Edward, they are becoming unsure
of themselves, Carlisle thought.
“Eighteen?” Jane repeated with more emotion seeping
into her voice.
“All brand-new,” Carlisle said evenly. “They were
unskilled.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed again. “All? Then who was their
creator?” Her voice became sharp.
Edward took over again, “Her name was Victoria.”
Jane turned to Edward, lifting her brows, “‘Was’?”
Edward inclined his head toward the eastern forest and
Jane’s eyes focused on the small curl of smoke from the second
fire. Then she looked back to the bonfire in front of her and
appeared to consider her next move.
We appear to have moved completely beyond what Aro
told her to expect, Carlisle mused.

523!
 “This Victoria – she was in addition to the eighteen
here?” Jane’s eyes were still on the bonfire.
Edward replied again. “Yes, she had one other with her.
He was not as young as this one, but less than a year.”
Jane now seemed completely shaken, “Twenty,” she
breathed. “Who dealt with the creator?”
Edward’s voice took on a deep growling tone that did
not sound human. “I did.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to the girl beside
the fire. “You there, your name,” she said harshly. The newborn
did not respond quickly enough, and Jane smiled at her
angelically as she sent an unseen force from her mind to the
girl’s body. The girl arched stiffly and was distorted into an
unnatural position as her scream pierced the air. Jane was still
smiling when she released the newborn. “Your name,” she
commanded.
“Bree,” the newborn gasped, but Jane smiled again and
Bree screamed in pain.
“She’ll tell you anything you want to know. You don’t
have to do that,” Edward growled.
“Bree, is his story true? Were there twenty of you?”
Jane’s voice was cold again.
Bree’s face was in the dirt as she panted, “Nineteen or
twenty, maybe more, I don’t know! Sara and one whose name I
don’t know got in a fight on the way…”

524!
 Jane continued to press Bree for more details to confirm
her fears, that the Cullens had become more powerful than she or
the rest of the Volturi ever imagined.
Jane is betraying more than she intended, but she knows
Aro will be quite upset if she comes back with anything less than
the full story, Carlisle told Edward.
Jane half-smiled, “I can’t deny that I’m impressed. I’ve
never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do
you know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behavior,
considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the
key?” Her eyes flickered over Bella’s face for a second.
“Victoria held a grudge against Bella,” Edward said
impassively.
Jane laughed lightly, “This one seems to bring out
bizarrely strong reactions in our kind,” she said and then smiled
directly at Bella.
Edward stiffened and Carlisle turned to look at Bella.
Edward had told him that Bella was not only immune to
Edward’s gifts, but every Volturi including Aro himself. It did
not stop Carlisle cringing in fear for Bella’s safety, but he
quickly saw that his fears were without merit, Bella was
completely unaffected by Jane’s horrific gift.
“Would you please not do that?” Edward’s jaw and
voice were tight.
Jane laughed again, “Just checking. No harm done,
apparently.” Then the old apathy crept back into her voice,

525!
“Well, it appears that there’s not much left for us to do. Odd,”
she sighed. “We’re not used to being rendered unnecessary. It’s
too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been
entertaining to watch.”
Edward had heard enough. Their intended timing had
obvious motivations. “Yes,” he said sharply, “And you were so
close. It’s a shame you didn’t arrive just a half hour earlier.
Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here.”
Jane met Edward’s glare with unwavering eyes. “Yes.
Quite a pity how things turned out, isn’t it?” Then she turned
back to Bree. “Felix?”
Edward stepped forward, “Wait,” he looked over at
Carlisle. “We could explain the rules to the young one. She
doesn’t seem unwilling to learn. She didn’t know what she was
doing.”
Carlisle swelled with pride in his son. “Of course. We
would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree.”
Jane seemed to be so shocked she was amused. “We
don’t make exceptions, and we don’t give second chances. It’s
bad for our reputation. Which reminds me…” She looked back at
Bella. “Caius will be so interested to hear that you’re still
human, Bella. Perhaps he’ll decide to visit,” Jane’s lips curled
with delight.
“The date for her transformation is set,” Alice hissed.
“Perhaps we’ll come to visit you in a few months.”

526!
 Jane’s smile actually faded, and Carlisle’s cold heart
shrank. He now knew for certain that the Volturi actually
considered his family a threat. Aro was looking for any excuse to
interfere with the Cullens. This situation was not over; it was just
beginning.
Jane turned back to Carlisle. “It was nice to meet you,
Carlisle,” she said, her eyes sweeping him from head to toe. “I’d
thought Aro was exaggerating.” Then she looked into his amber
eyes which were still tight. “Well, until we meet again…” Jane
turned away from the Cullens. “Take care of that, Felix,” Jane
nodded toward Bree, her voice returning to exquisite boredom.
“I want to go home.”
Carlisle leveled a vicious gaze at all of the Volturi Guard
as Bree’s final scream was cut off and then her remains tossed
into the fire. A final surge of power flowed off Carlisle, and Jane
tried to not betray its effect on her. She failed but did not turn
around, and resumed walking away.
“Come,” she commanded, and the tall gray cloaks
followed her into the morning mist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle was back at the hospital less than six hours after
the confrontation with the Volturi Guard, smiling at his patients
as if he had arrived with a good night’s rest. Carlisle knew that
his problems were no more important than any person who finds

527!
their family or life in danger. Humans faced such vulnerability
and uncertainty far more often than vampires. And he had duties
to humans that were just as important as his duty to his family.
Carlisle was dropping off the chart from his last patient
into the ICU carousel when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He
pulled it out and looked at the number. It was a call from Alaska.
Carlisle quickly left the ICU and ducked into the doctor’s
lounge.
“Hello?”
“Carlisle! Thank God – I can’t tell you how good it is to
hear your voice!” Eleazar sounded overcome with emotion.
“When we returned and Tanya told me what happened, it took all
of my control not to tear her apart. If it hadn’t been for Carmen I
might have done,” Eleazar growled.
Carlisle sighed, “There’s no need, my friend. Our enemy
and the newborn army are dead, we have all survived, and the
Volturi Guard are gone.”
Eleazar paused on the other end. “Jane?”
Carlisle chuckled. “Of course. She arrived right after the
battle ended.”
Eleazar groaned. “Damn, Aro. Damn him to hell.”
Carlisle nodded. “If he had tried to destroy me and failed
when I left Volterra he would have lost everything. But once he
met Alice, Edward and Bella he was content to sit by and see if a
newborn army would be enough to overpower my family.
Unfortunately, now Jane is reporting to him that we have grown

528!
quite strong,” he sighed. And then he smiled. “But, I actually
have some good news, and I expect to see you soon.”
“Why? What is it?” Eleazar was intrigued.
Carlisle chuckled again. “Edward proposed to Bella.
They are getting married this summer, and I want you to bring
all of the girls with you. We will not be split apart like this again
over a traitor like Laurent.”
“You have my word, Carlisle.” Eleazar said with
conviction.

529!
530!
 CHAPTER 23
~~2006~~

BREAKING DAWN
Carlisle flipped through his favorite photo album. It was
the album Tanya had made of his wedding to Esme in Denali.
Carlisle smiled to himself as he recalled every detail of that day.
Esme’s hair had been twisted into ringlet curls and pinned to the
base of her head, and the flowers that were sprinkled into her
hair were covered with fine lace. Her voice had trembled slightly
as she spoke the vows, and Carlisle had become so lost in her
eyes he forgot to say, “I do.” Instead, he said, “My love,
forever.” The pastor of the tiny church had chuckled, and so did
Edward and Eleazar, but Esme had sobbed with happiness and
every time he repeated the endearment she smiled like she had
the day of their wedding.
Edward’s wedding to Bella had been much more of an
event with dozens of guests, and stamped all over with Alice’s
sense of style and theatrics. He suspected that both Edward and
Bella would have chosen a day that resembled Carlisle and

531!
Esme’s wedding, but Edward understood that there was more at
stake than his own happiness; he would have suffered Alice’s
wrath for centuries if he had refused her wedding planning skills.
Carmen and Kate in particular had praised Alice’s excellent
taste.
The reunion with the Denali coven had been bittersweet.
They arrived as Bella and the rest of the family were dressing.
Jasper brought them up to Carlisle’s office so they could talk
away from the gathering throng of guests. Emmett and Carlisle
were standing in their tuxedos and Esme’s silver dress
shimmered and moved even though she stood perfectly still
when Jasper opened the door. Jasper joined Emmett and stood at
attention as his brother crossed his thick arms. Carlisle walked
directly to Eleazar.
“Carlisle!” Eleazar embraced his old friend and kissed
both cheeks. Then he turned to the others. “Thank you, for
having us.”
“All of you are welcome in our home,” Esme said
graciously and smiled at Eleazar. Emmett and Jasper did not
smile.
Eleazar turned back to Carlisle, but his eyes slipped
downward to Carlisle’s starched tuxedo collar and his brows
came together. He put a hand on his shoulder and then with his
other hand he turned Carlisle’s head to the right and looked more
intently at the old scar on his neck – then Eleazar’s grip on
Carlisle’s shoulder tightened.

532!
 “They did this to you?” Eleazar seethed as he pointed to
dozens of new thin scars where the old injury had cracked and
nearly given way to the newborn’s strength as he had tried to
pull off Carlisle’s head. Eleazar was only too familiar with such
injuries and his worst fears were confirmed because he instantly
knew how close Carlisle had come to death. Kate covered her
mouth in horror as she stared at the scars and Tanya’s eyes were
wide with disbelief at the thought that Carlisle could actually be
hurt.
Carlisle gently removed Eleazar’s grasp and straightened
his bow tie and black opera scarf. “It is nothing, Eleazar.” The
injury had been sore for weeks after the battle, and he had only
recently gotten full range of motion back.
Eleazar’s amber eyes were nearly glowing with fury and
he pointed at Jasper’s new venom scar on his neck as he raised
his voice. “I can see where they got your son! How deep were
the cracks, Carlisle? Where else were you injured?”
Eleazar’s wrath when he returned home to find that the
girls had denied the Cullens aid in a time of need was entirely
due to his fear for the family’s safety. The Denali girls knew
only too well that he held them responsible for any injury the
Cullens suffered. Carlisle wanted to stop any further reproach,
and put up his hand.
“It is my only injury. I swear to you, I am well. And, it is
now in the PAST,” he said firmly. He held Eleazar’s eyes with
his and slowly Eleazar brought his rage under control. When

533!
Eleazar had relaxed once more Carlisle turned to Tanya, “Where
is Irina?”
Tanya frowned sadly. “I’m sure you have already
guessed, she is anywhere but here.”
Carlisle’s face fell and he walked back to his desk and
then sat on the edge with his arms crossed. “I had hoped this
would be a complete reconciliation.”
Tanya shook her head. “We are trying to reach her,
Carlisle. All I can do right now is offer my sincere apology for
my part in this. I cannot speak for Irina.”
Kate put a hand on Tanya’s shoulder. “And I must
apologize too, Carlisle. I initially supported Irina. I was angry
with you for choosing the wolves over us,” she said
remorsefully.
Tanya nodded, “And I was angry for… for…”
“For Edward choosing Bella over you,” Carlisle
finished.
Tanya nodded, lifting her chin to face her errors with
direct honesty. “I was angry at all of you after I saw how much
you all loved her when Alice saw her commit suicide. I was
prepared to see that Edward is first in your hearts, but I was
surprised how much you cared about her. And, yes, I was most
of all angry with Edward. And I will get over that,” she said with
conviction.

534!
 Carmen put her arms around them. “Oh, my girls. Can
you forgive their anger? Please, Emmett, Jasper? You must see
their hearts are remorseful?”
Jasper still did not smile. “If not for our alliance with the
Quileute, some or all of us would be dead.”
Tanya dropped her eyes; Kate glanced sadly at Carlisle’s
new scars.
Emmett put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder. “Jasper is very
protective of Alice, and the entire family. He puts our security on
his shoulders. I can forgive you, but only once. And I can’t speak
for the others.”
“Where are Edward, Alice and Rosalie?” Tanya said
contritely.
“And Bella?” Carlisle added with quiet intensity.
“Yes, and Bella, of course,” Tanya shook her head with
embarrassment.
“The girls are helping Bella dress. Edward is out at the
moment extending a special invitation to one of Bella’s closest
werewolf friends, right now,” Esme said plainly.
Carlisle walked forward again and put his hands in his
pockets as he looked down his nose at Tanya. She eventually
looked up into his face and waited to feel the full force of his
distain. Instead, his face was sad; so terribly sad that she felt her
throat close up and she had to look away to keep from losing
control of her emotions.

535!
 “Carlisle, I’m sorry I spoke so disrespectfully of your
daughter when you called to ask for our help. And I swear: I will
welcome Bella into the family. Please, forgive me,” she
whispered.
Carlisle looked at the floor and sighed. “Tanya, I can
speak for everyone who is not here: they all forgive you,
including Edward. And I forgive you for your actions. However,
only you can know your heart. I cannot hope to know how you
truly feel about us. All I can pray for is that you still consider
yourself part of the family, and will from this day forward honor
all of us, including Bella, as your blood.”
Tanya sniffed, and then reached out and took Carlisle’s
hand and looked up into his grieved eyes. “I love you like my
brother, Carlisle, I always have. And your family is my family.”
Carlisle nodded and bent down to wrap his arms around
her. Then Tanya walked around the room and hugged everyone
but Jasper who would only shake her hand. Kate, Carmen and
Eleazar did the same.
Carlisle looked up at the framed portrait on his desk of
the family at his wedding. Next to that was another photo of the
entire family at Rosalie and Emmett’s first wedding, and next to
that was the entire family at Jasper and Alice’s wedding. Soon,
he would have a similar photo from Edward and Bella’s wedding
of the entire family again, which would always include the
Denali coven.

536!
 Carlisle put down his album and stood up. He had to
prepare for his shift at the hospital, and the time for self-
indulgence was over. He was descending the stairs carrying his
briefcase when he heard Alice yelling.
“Give me your phone!” she demanded. Carlisle surmised
she was yelling at Jasper. He flew down the stairs into the living
room where Alice was already dancing back and forth
mumbling, “Pick up! Pick up! PICK UP!”
Carlisle looked over at Jasper and put down his
briefcase, but Jasper could only shrug with confusion.
Finally, Alice stopped pacing. “Bella? Bella, are you
okay?” Alice was trying to keep her voice calm. She paused as
Bella answered. Alice’s eyes locked with Carlisle’s. “He is.
What’s the problem?” He immediately held his hand out for the
phone, but Alice did not hand it over. “Is Edward all right?”
Alice asked warily. He waved his hand at Alice, wordlessly
demanding the phone. “Carlisle!” Alice hissed covering the
mouthpiece, and then turned back to the phone. “Why didn’t he
pick up the phone? Bella, what’s going on? I just saw – ”
Carlisle crossed the room in a blur and put his hand in
Alice’s face with an expression so terrible she shrank. “Here’s
Carlisle,” she said finally, and she handed him the phone.
He put the phone to his ear, “Bella, it’s Carlisle. What is
going on?”

537!
 “I – I’m a little worried about Edward… Can vampires
go into shock?” Bella’s nervous voice wavered slightly, but she
didn’t sound panicked.
Carlisle however, was already imagining all of the
possible ways a vampire could be rendered incapacitated. “Has
he been harmed?” Carlisle said urgently.
“No, no, just…taken by surprise,” Bella’s voice seemed
strangely elusive.
Carlisle’s brow creased, “I don’t understand, Bella.”
“I think… well, I think that… maybe… I might
be…pregnant,” Bella seemed almost unable to say the word out
loud.
Carlisle stood in the middle of the living room frozen in
shock. Alice looked questioningly into his eyes, concerned that
whatever was affecting Edward had somehow affected Carlisle
too. But suddenly, he seemed to recover.
“When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?”
“Sixteen days before the wedding,” Bella sounded
certain.
Carlisle nodded, her math was correct. “How do you
feel?”
“Weird. This is going to sound crazy – look, I know it’s
way too early for any of this. Maybe I am crazy. But I’m having
bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing
up and… and… I swear something moved inside me just now.”
Bella was sniffing as she spoke, she seemed barely in control of

538!
her emotions as she made her case. But then she paused, “Um, I
think Edward wants to talk to you.”
Carlisle sighed with relief, “Put him on.”
“Is it possible?” Edward whispered into the phone.
Carlisle sat down on the couch. “Edward, to the best of
my knowledge our DNA is transferred by venom infection only.
I have never conducted fertility studies. I did not even entertain
the idea that it would be possible for us to procreate after the
transformation. This is completely unknown to me, but
everything Bella is describing suggests that… I was wrong.”
“And Bella?” Edward’s voice cracked slightly.
“Edward, listen to me very carefully: if this is real, and
she is carrying a child with vampire DNA, I have no idea how
her body will react to it. She may reject the fetus completely, or
her body may attempt an immunity attack recognizing it as
containing foreign DNA. I also have no idea how the fetus will
react to her.” Carlisle leaned forward resting his head on his
hand. “You need to bring her home so I can terminate this
pregnancy – immediately.” The strain in Carlisle’s voice was
unmistakable. Jasper and Alice exchanged glances.
“Yes. Yes, I will,” and Edward ended the call.
Carlisle stared straight ahead for a moment, and then he
looked down at the phone and pressed end. Then he quickly
dialed another number. “This is Dr. Cullen. I have a family
emergency. I will be out of town for the next week. Yes. Yes.
Thank you.” Carlisle hung up, and then dialed another number.

539!
“This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, I need to place an order for the
Forks Community Hospital.” He ordered everything from
surgical supplies, including Bella’s blood type, to a fetal heart
monitor.
Then without a word Carlisle left the house to start
collecting what he needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle opened the back door onto the porch and saw
Jacob Black’s head look up at him with surprise. “Are you all
right, Jacob?”
Jacob’s face fell slightly as Carlisle walked toward him.
He seemed to take Carlisle’s appearance on the porch as a bad
sign. “Is Bella…?”
Carlisle shook his head and waved his hand, “She’s
much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I’m sorry. Edward
said you were coming from the forest in your human form, and I
came out to greet you, as he didn’t want to leave her. She’s
awake.”
Jacob frowned up at Carlisle; his eyes said that he knew
Carlisle was holding back. Jacob sat down on the bottom porch
step and slumped against the railing. Carlisle felt as spent as
Jacob looked. He walked down to the step where Jacob was
sitting and leaned against the opposite railing, his elbows on his
knees and his hands folded.

540!
 “I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You
don’t know how much I appreciate your…compassion. I know
your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the
rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do.”
“Don’t mention it,” Jacob muttered. Carlisle could see
that Jacob did not want to talk about leaving his Quileute
werewolf pack and going against their resolve to destroy the
human vampire half-breed and its mother, who Jacob was in love
with. Jacob looked toward the house anxiously and then he tried
to turn his attention away from what was happening inside.
“She’s family to you?”
Carlisle nodded slowly, “Yes. Bella is already a daughter
to me. A beloved daughter.”
Jacob’s brows came together and his eyes narrowed,
“But you’re going to let her die.”
Carlisle felt Jacob’s words cut him like a knife shoved
into his sternum. He was quiet for so long, Jacob finally turned
his angry eyes on Carlisle waiting for an answer. Carlisle sighed
and wiped his face, “I can imagine what you think of me for
that,” he finally said with an exhausted voice. “But I can’t ignore
her will. It wouldn’t be right for me to make such a choice for
her, to force her, even if it would save her life.”
Jacob seemed to acknowledge Carlisle’s reasoning
reluctantly. “Do you think there’s any chance she’ll make it? I
mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about… about
Esme.”

541!
 Carlisle looked out into the forest, his eyes far away in a
different time. “I’d say there’s about an even chance at this
point. I’ve seen vampire venom work miracles.” Carlisle
unconsciously rubbed the web of scars that covered the left side
of his neck as he remembered finding all of Esme’s broken
bones healed as the venom spread. “But there are conditions that
even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard
now; if it should fail…there won’t be anything for me to do.” As
if on cue, Carlisle heard Bella’s heart rhythm falter, then recover
and Carlisle closed his eyes and sighed.
“What is that thing doing to her?” Jacob whispered.
“The fetus isn’t compatible with her body. Too strong,
for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The
bigger problem is that it won’t allow her to get the sustenance
she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I’m
trying to feed her intravenously, but she’s just not absorbing it,
much the way vampires react to eating food. Everything about
her condition is accelerated. I’m watching her – and not just her,
but the fetus as well – starve to death by the hour. I can’t stop it
and I can’t slow it down. I can’t figure out what it wants.”
Carlisle’s weary voice broke at the end and he clenched his fists.
“I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is,” Carlisle
murmured. “The fetus is so well protected. I haven’t even been
able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to
get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won’t agree to
let me try, in any case.”

542!
 Jacob growled at the mention of Rosalie’s name. She
was an unrepentant and constantly vigilant protector of both
Bella and the baby that she could only dream of having herself.
Carlisle understood that Jacob believed Rosalie had more sinister
motivations, but he knew at least that Rosalie was merely
standing up for what Bella wanted: to keep her baby even if it
meant her life.
“A needle? What good would that do?” Jacob said.
“The more I know about the fetus, the better I can
estimate what it will be capable of and how to help Bella. What I
wouldn’t give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the
chromosomal count…”
“You’re losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?”
Carlisle chuckled, even his laugh sounded exhausted.
“Okay, how much biology have you taken? Did you study
chromosomal pairs?”
“We have twenty-three, right?”
Carlisle nodded. “Humans do.”
Jacob paused. “How many do you have?”
“Twenty-five.”
Jacob frowned for a moment. “What does that mean?”
Carlisle looked away. “I thought it meant that our
species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion
and a house cat. But this new life – well, it suggests that we’re
more genetically compatible than I’d thought.” He sighed sadly,
“I didn’t know to warn them.”

543!
 Carlisle turned back toward the door and looked at it
expectantly as he heard Edward ask Rosalie to join him out on
the porch. Carlisle sat up straight and composed his features as
Edward and Rosalie walked out onto the porch.
“What is it, Edward?” Carlisle’s voice was stronger, his
fatigue completely hidden.
“Perhaps we’ve been going about this the wrong way. I
was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were
speaking of what the… fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting
thought. We haven’t actually addressed that angle. We’ve been
trying to get Bella what she needs. Perhaps we should address
the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we’ll be
able to help her more effectively.” Edward tripped over the word
fetus every time he used it, unable to hide his ire.
Carlisle frowned at his son. “I’m not following you,
Edward.”
“Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire
than human, can’t you guess what it craves – what it’s not
getting? Jacob did.”
Carlisle’s face changed. “Oh, you think it is… thirsty?”
He sounded surprised.
“Of course. Carlisle, we have all that type O negative
laid aside for Bella. It’s a good idea,” Rosalie’s took a step closer
to him and her eyes glowed with hope.
Carlisle put his hand to his chin, “I wonder… And, what
would be the best way to administer…”

544!
 Rosalie shook her golden head, “We don’t have time to
be creative. I’d say we should start with the traditional way.”
Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet.
“We’ll ask Bella.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle sped down the rain slick roads because his S55
AMG barely noticed the wet. In the trunk he had a cooler full of
fresh whole blood. Edward and Jacob’s theory had proven
correct and Bella was now regularly drinking and her health was
improving. She had completely depleted the supply he had
obtained when he thought he would be performing surgery on
her.
Nothing had gone as he had expected and it made him
nervous to be away from the house, but of course no one else
could do this errand. Carlisle had to visit the supplier in Seattle
to prevent raising suspicion on where all of the blood was going.
If Bella had not improved so much with the blood nutrition he
could never have gone so far away from the situation.
For the first time in days Carlisle felt hopeful, but the
unknown was the delivery; he overestimated the quantity he
thought she might consume before the delivery to account for the
delivery too. It would have to be a cesarean and he was going to
remove her entire uterus because they would likely have to either
allow the baby to break out of its impermeable sac, or he would

545!
have to tear through it himself. Bella did not care about her
uterus, just the baby. Carlisle also found that for the first time he
was actually invested in saving the baby as well as Bella, and
that made him very happy. There had been so much tension and
conflict in the house it was exhausting him.
As he thought of the general fatigue he had been fighting
through this ordeal Carlisle felt a strange sensation, in his right
side. He looked down at his right hand: it was shaking. Carlisle
clenched his hand into a fist, and he frowned. Not now! They
need me!
Suddenly, the Bluetooth rang in his car. Carlisle took
one cleansing breath and tapped his steering wheel. “Hello?”
Screaming echoed through the speakers of the car in
stereo and his heart sank. It was Bella screaming. She was early,
by Carlisle’s calculations she was almost twelve hours early.
“Carlisle!!” Alice’s voice was frantic.
“Alice! Tell me exactly what is happening!” Carlisle’s
voice was calm but urgent, and hid his mounting panic. With
perfect clarity he could hear Bella was screaming, “GET HIM
OUT!”
“She’s delivering, Carlisle!” Alice sounded as if she was
going to cry, and in the background Carlisle heard very clearly
the sound of Bella vomiting and Edward shouting, “Let the
morphine spread!”

546!
 “Alice! Give your phone to Edward!” Carlisle shouted,
but Alice wasn’t listening to him anymore. He heard Rosalie
scream, “There’s no time! He’s dying!”
Edward yelled, “No, Rose!”
There were sounds of a major struggle, and Carlisle
pressed harder on the gas pedal, pushing his speed up to 180
miles per hour. Suddenly, Jacob cried out in pain.
Edward shouted, “Alice get her out of here!”
The phone went dead.
Carlisle was almost four hours away just outside Seattle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle broke every law possible speeding back to the

house. His senses allowed him to avoid any possible obstacles
and law enforcement. He was now less than two miles from the
house, and pushing his car even faster because he knew every
bump and corner of the roads near his home in Forks.
Carlisle pulled up to the front of the house and slid to a
stop. He popped the trunk as he jumped from the driver’s side
leaving his door and the trunk open, and snatched the cooler as
he sped to the door.
When he threw the door open he saw Rosalie sitting
calmly and rocking back and forth on the white couches in the
living room and it was silent in the house. Carlisle looked more
closely at Rosalie and saw that she was holding a small bundle

547!
and she was whispering sweet words. Carlisle cautiously moved
closer because he had detected a strange new scent, and – a
heartbeat.
“Renesmee, I’d like you to meet your grandfather. His
name is Carlisle,” Rosalie cooed and then she turned to her
father and held the baby up so he could see her face.
Renesmee’s enormous chocolate-brown eyes instantly
pulled on Carlisle’s cold heart. He could not stop himself from
smiling at her and he was shocked but delighted when she
responded by giving him a delighted grin that was full of pearl
white teeth. Curls that were the same color as Edward’s caramel
locks framed her round face. Then she reached out toward the
bottle full of blood that Rosalie was holding, and immediately
took a long sip.
Carlisle remembered what he was carrying in the cooler.
“Bella,” he whispered.
“Carlisle, I need you!” Edward called quietly from
upstairs. Carlisle barely registered that Jacob Black was sitting
on the bottom step of the staircase and staring wistfully and
lovingly at Renesmee.
Carlisle dropped the cooler by the door of his office and
immediately went over to the table where Bella’s unmoving
body lay. The entire room looked like something out of a horror
film. Alice and Esme had cleaned the ceiling and all of his
furniture and belongings, but they were still cleaning the blood
stained floor and spatters on the walls with bleach. Bella’s

548!
abdomen was still cut open and her obliterated uterus lay in a
steel pan on the surgical tray. Edward was leaning over Bella. He
had stripped off his shirt for Alice to dispose of but his pants
were still covered with blood.
“I’ve given her as much venom as I could push into her,
and she was completely dosed with morphine before I started,”
Edward said with a strained voice.
Carlisle looked down at Bella again. He leaned closer
and sniffed the top of Bella’s head. Then he picked up her limp
hand and sniffed her fingers. Then he looked up at Edward.
“She hasn’t moved once, Carlisle. She hasn’t made a
single sound.” Edward looked back at Carlisle with grieved eyes.
“Was I too late?” he whispered.
Carlisle shook his head no. Son, I can smell the venom
spreading. Carlisle laid a hand on Bella’s chest and looked up at
Edward. “The woman you love is a fighter like I have never seen
before. She is transforming.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle looked down at Renesmee curiously and she

looked back up at him with the same expression. She tilted her
head to one side, and Carlisle smiled. She giggled when he
smiled. She tried her new trick again and tilted her head. When
Carlisle smiled once more she squealed with delight at her

549!
success. Carlisle picked her up from the scales and tucked her
into his arm as he reached for his measuring tape.
“Nessie, would you be so kind as to stretch for me
again?” he said, holding the measuring tape in front of her. She
reached up and put a hand on his face, and suddenly his mind
was filled with pictures of the measuring tape and an
overwhelming feeling of boredom.
Carlisle gasped. “Nessie, what was that?”
Her chocolate-brown eyes looked into his and she tilted
her head again. When Carlisle’s smile returned she pressed her
hand to his face again and his mind was filled with dozens of
pictures of him smiling and a powerful feeling of happiness
every time Carlisle smiled.
Carlisle looked down at her and chuckled. “Are you
telling me that you love it when I smile at you, but you are bored
by my measurements?”
Renesmee blinked at him because naturally she didn’t
understand him yet, but when Carlisle started laughing she
grinned.
“Rosalie! Rose!” Carlisle called.
Rosalie was there in an instant. “Does she need
something? What is it, Nessie?” Rosalie said lovingly.
Carlisle’s face was full of excitement. “Has she shown
you her thoughts yet? It is brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!”
Rosalie’s perfect brow wrinkled slightly. “I don’t
understand.”

550!
 Carlisle suddenly realized that this might be new. He
looked down at Renesmee. “Did you just communicate with me
because you desperately wanted to avoid being measured?” She
blinked up at him again and he laughed out loud. Renesmee
giggled at the sound of his laughter. “Sweetheart, I must measure
you, but I’m going to let Auntie Rosalie hold you, all right?”
Carlisle handed over his granddaughter and retrieved the
measuring tape. As soon as he picked it up, however, Renesmee
looked over at Rosalie and she put her hand on Roslie’s face.
Rosalie gasped.
“I think – she just told me that she is bored with
measuring, and she is hungry!” Rosaile cried with delight.
“Feeding! Oh, yes! Let me do this quickly!” Carlisle
moved his hands so fast they were unseen. “Done, Nessie! Let’s
go try some of the new formula I bought, OK?”
Rosalie rolled her eyes at Carlisle and followed him
toward the kitchen. “Carlisle, you know that she hates that stuff.”
Carlisle chuckled, “Yes, but we need to learn more about
what she wants and what she needs. Trying new things is the
only way.”
Rosalie rolled her eyes again but could not help smiling
because Carlisle’s excitement was so infectious. By the time she
sat down with Renesmee by the table, Carlisle had already mixed
and heated the first bottle. He held it in front of Renesmee and
she looked up at her grandfather with a questioning expression.

551!
 Carlisle smiled. “Go on, just taste it. I have three more
for you to try if you don’t like it.”
Renesmee sniffed the nipple. She was wary but put her
tiny hand on the side of the bottle as Carlisle gently eased it into
her mouth. She took two draws on the bottle and then turned her
head, stuck out her tongue and the formula dribbled down her
chin. Carlisle laughed as Rosalie quickly wiped away the mess.
Carlisle brought the next bottle. This time she frowned at
him. Carlisle knew what would entice her to try again. He knelt
down in front of her and smiled winningly at her. “Please,
Nessie? Just try one more?”
She looked at the bottle uncertainly, and took one sip.
This time she batted the bottle across the room, and put her hand
on Carlisle’s face as he laughed. Pictures of red blood filled his
mind and deep thirst that was so intense he actually had to pull
away from her touch. He collected himself and smiled at her
again. “All right, Nessie. No more experimenting today.”
Rosalie was ready and carried her as she filled a sippy
cup full of blood and then held it in front of her beloved niece.
Nessie squealed with delight and put the spout in her mouth
sucking happily.
Carlisle smiled at Rosalie, “I’m going to check on
Edward and Bella.” He patted her on the shoulder and flew up
the stairs to his office.
The room was clean and Bella was changed into a blue
silk dress that Alice had delivered that morning after Esme

552!
finished bathing her. Edward stood on her right side, and was
holding her hand in his as he stroked her hair tenderly.
Carlisle walked around to the left side of the bed and
pressed his cool fingers to her wrist checking her racing pulse.
“Still no change?”
Edward shook his head balefully. “None.” He leaned
down and took a light sniff of her forehead. “There’s no scent of
the morphine left.”
“I know,” Carlisle said as he pressed his fingers lightly
on her chest where her racing heart was bouncing up against her
newly unbreakable ribs.
“Bella? Can you hear me?” Edward whispered into her
ear. No response. Edward lifted her hand slightly. “Bella? Bella,
love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my fingers?”
No response. Edward sighed. “Maybe…Carlisle, maybe I was
too late.” His voice broke on the word late. “No one has ever
remained completely silent through this!”
Carlisle reached across the table and put a hand on
Edward’s shoulder. “Listen to her heart, Edward. It’s stronger
than even Emmett’s was. I’ve never heard anything so vital.
She’ll be perfect.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

553!
 “Please, Carlisle. I will feel much more at ease if you
stay behind me just until we see her immediate reaction,” Jasper
pleaded.
Carlisle knew that Jasper meant well, and that he had
been present at the awakening of hundreds more newborns than
Carlisle had. “I will wait until she becomes fully aware.”
Jasper sighed. “I simply want to make sure she won’t try
to tear through us to get to Nessie.”
Carlisle smiled. “You mean you’d rather she tries to tear
through you before me. You know that is unnecessary.”
Jasper put a hand on Carlisle’s shoulder. “Let me do this,
for Esme’s sake.”
“Of course, son.”
“Carlisle!” Edward called.
Jasper, Alice and Carlisle ran up the staircase and
walked in.
Carlisle laid a hand on Bella’s chest. “Ah, it’s almost
over.”
“Soon! I’ll get the others. Should I have Rosalie…?”
Alice asked.
“Yes – keep the baby away,” Jasper and Edward said
together.
Bella’s fingers twitched and all of their heads turned as
they sensed her movement. Jasper moved Carlisle and Alice
toward the door and stood in front of them.

554!
 Edward reached for Bella’s twitching fingers. “Bella?
Bella, love?” She did not respond, her fingers merely continued
to twitch.
“I’ll bring them right up,” Alice said urgently.
“Just Emmett!” Jasper said anxiously.
Esme, however, was not to be denied. “If you think you
can stop me from being here for Bella, think again!” she hissed.
Carlisle put an arm around Esme and they smiled at each other.
Emmett was shaking with excitement and grinned at Carlisle
then took his position next to Jasper.
Bella’s heart suddenly fluttered and her back arched but
then slumped back to the table as the flutter slowed, and then
with a thud her heart stopped. No one breathed. For almost two
minutes nothing happened. Then suddenly, Bella took a slow
deep breath, almost as if she was testing her lungs. Edward
squeezed Bella’s hand and her eyes instantly flew open. She
jumped off the table and crouched against the wall defensively.
Jasper and Emmett spread out their arms protectively in front of
the family, but Edward reached out to Bella over the table.
“Bella!” his expression was concerned.
Alice, however, was unworried. She peeked out from
behind Jasper’s arms and grinned at Bella. Bella saw her, and
then looked back at Edward. She quickly stood up straight, as if
she suddenly realized that her behavior was improper. Carlisle
watched, amazed. Her first instinct was distinctly vampire:

555!
crouch and defend. Her second instinct was a learned behavior,
but she had only just opened her eyes.
“Bella?” Edward said cautiously. “Bella, love, I know
it’s disorienting. But you’re all right. Everything is fine.” Bella
continued to stare at Edward mutely, but Carlisle could see in her
eyes that she was processing new information at a blinding rate.
He smiled watching her. Carlisle remembered the dizzying affect
of the rush of vampire senses when he first awoke. It took all of
his control not to start screaming. Edward was disoriented for
weeks. Esme would stare at things for hours trying to
concentrate. Rosalie spent many nights sobbing with Esme
dealing with the sensory overload. Emmett was very restless
until he got used to it. Bella was skittish but she was taking it all
in, and appeared to be handling it well.
Edward reached out and caressed her cheek softly. Her
eyes closed for a moment as she absorbed the feelings
overwhelming her, and then she threw her arms around Edward.
Carlisle tensed as he saw Edward wince. Emmett stepped
forward as Edward recoiled slightly, but he put a hand up to
Emmett as Bella looked up at him confused by his withdrawal.
“Um… carefully, Bella. Ow.”
Bella gasped and yanked her arms away, folding them
behind her back. “Oops,” she whispered. Carlisle smiled again.
She was controlling herself so easily. None of the others had
learned so quickly. Carlisle looked over at Jasper and saw that he

556!
was staring with wide eyes. He had clearly never seen anything
like this before either.
“Don’t panic, love. You’re just a bit stronger than I am
for the moment.” Edward reached out to her again to reassure
her.
Bella’s brow creased and she concentrated very hard on
gently placing her hand on his cheek. Then she looked deeply
into his eyes. “I love you,” she said with a clear ringing voice.
Edward sighed and smiled with relief. “As I love you,”
he whispered back. He slowly leaned forward and kissed Bella.
Their kiss deepened and Esme squeezed Carlisle’s hand. Then
Emmett cleared his throat and chuckled. Bella instantly released
Edward and took a step backward. Again, Carlisle marveled at
her. Every time it seemed she might get lost in her emotions or
actions she corrected herself. Edward chuckled and moved
toward her slipping his arm around her waist.
Bella looked back at him and frowned. “You’ve been
holding out on me.”
Edward laughed. “It was sort of necessary at the time.
Now it’s your turn not to break me.”
Carlisle had seen enough, and he put a hand on Emmett
as he walked toward Bella but Jasper still shadowed his steps.
Bella looked at Carlisle and then leaned back slightly and
blinked as if she was looking at the sun for the first time. Carlisle
had seen that reaction from vampires before when he first met
them. When Carlisle looked back at Bella, however, he stared.

557!
She seemed to glow, almost as if she was radiating a faint
corona. He immediately wondered if that was how he appeared
to other vampires.
“How do you feel, Bella?” Carlisle said with a smile.
Bella seemed to enjoy the sound of his voice and
instantly smiled. “Overwhelmed. There’s so much…” When she
spoke her mind seemed to wander and her warm glow pulsed
slightly.
Carlisle examined the corona intently. “Yes, it can be
quite confusing.”
Bella nodded with a quick jerky bob. “But I feel like me,
sort of. I didn’t expect that.”
Edward squeezed her lightly. “I told you so,” he
whispered.
“You are quite controlled. More so than I expected even
with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this,”
Carlisle mused.
“I’m not sure about that,” Bella said carefully, glancing
sideways at Edward. As she considered her words she pulsed
again. She clearly had some sort of mental gift. But that
exploration would have to wait.
“It seems like we did something right with the morphine
this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation
process?” Carlisle’s eyes were eager.
Her corona shrank slightly and Carlisle examined the
light carefully. It was as if she had pulled her radiance inward.

558!
“Everything was… very dim before. I remember the baby
couldn’t breathe,” her head turned instantly to Edward, her brow
furrowed, and the corona expanded further than it had before.
Edward responded with fervor. “Renesmee is healthy
and well.” Then he probed. “What do you remember after that?”
Bella hesitated and her radiating light dimmed again.
“It’s hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then, I
opened my eyes and I could see – everything.” When she
finished her statement she glowed a little more brightly. Carlisle
looked at the others and wondered if they could see what he was
seeing.
“Amazing,” Carlisle breathed. His eyes were alight. “I
want you to think – to tell me everything you remember,” but
then he saw her grimace and he stopped short. “Oh, I’m so sorry
Bella, of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This
conversation can wait.”
Bella’s hand flew up to her throat and she frowned.
Edward took her hand gently. “Let’s hunt, Bella.”
After they reassured Bella that she could meet Renesmee
when her thirst was quenched Bella and Edward left. Jasper
stood on the balcony with Alice and Carlisle joined them.
“I have never seen anything like that before,” Jasper said
quietly.
Carlisle nodded. “She is extraordinary.” He leaned
forward and looked at both of them. “Did either of you notice
a—pulsing corona coming off of her?”

559!
 Alice and Jasper looked at each other and then she
nodded. “I’m not sure I can see everything you can, Carlisle, but
I was telling Jazz that she reminds me of…” she let her voice
trail off and she looked at Jasper again.
“Of what?” Carlisle could barely contain his curiosity.
Alice looked at Carlisle. “She reminds me of you.”
Carlisle lifted a brow so Alice explained. “All of the vampires
you have transformed have some essence of your power,
Carlisle. Something of you has passed to all of them, and they
aren’t as affected by you as the rest of us. But Bella,” Alice
shrugged, “she seems to be even stronger than the others. We are
only seeing the beginning of what she can do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where is Bella?” Carlisle said as he descended the

stairs.
Alice looked up from the chessboard where Edward had
just sighed with exasperation and conceded defeat again without
moving any of the pieces because they had played the entire
match inside their heads. “She’s out hunting with Nessie and
Jacob, why?”
Carlisle smiled. “I figured that Nessie would be with her.
I can wait until they return.”
Edward was sulking about his defeat and Alice was
dancing around the room relishing her seventieth straight victory

560!
when she suddenly stopped and one second later Edward’s
phone rang.
“What is it, Bella?” Edward was silent as she spoke to
him. First his eyes got wide, and then he bolted straight up.
“We’ll be there in half a minute.” Edward closed the phone.
“Carlisle! Come with me now!”
Carlisle immediately followed Edward out of the house
and higher through the mountains. What has happened, son?
“Irina has arrived, and she’s threatening Bella and
Jacob!” Edward yelled as they ran. Carlisle was livid. No matter
what her feelings were toward Laurent, she could never justify
this kind of behavior. Edward ran faster and Carlisle pushed to
keep up with him. They found the hunting party in a long
meadow. He could hear Leah and Seth padding along behind
them. Jacob had called in reinforcements.
Bella pointed. “She was up on that ridge. Maybe you
should call Emmett and Jasper and have them come with you.
She looked…really upset. She growled at me.”
“What?” Edward said angrily.
Carlisle put a hand on Edward’s arm. Even though he
was angry as well, he did not want Edward confronting Irina in
this state. “She’s still grieving. I’ll go after her.”
“I’m coming with you,” Edward insisted.
Carlisle looked at Edward. Son, you are not rational
right now. You should stay with your wife and daughter. Edward
frowned at him, and Carlisle did not want to take the time to

561!
argue. You will let me do all of the talking when we find her.
Edward nodded.
“We will be back soon with an answer,” Carlisle said
calmly.
The trail was barely more than two minutes old. They
followed it all the way to Clallam Bay where the trail ended at
the water. They swam the Straight of Juan de Fuca hoping to
find the trail on the other side, but there was nothing.
When they returned to the house Carlisle called Denali
and told them of the incident. “Do you know why she would
have reacted this way? Does she still harbor such harsh
feelings?”
Tanya was at a loss. “We haven’t seen her since we
decided to go to the wedding. I’m sorry, Carlisle. This has turned
into something that I deeply regret. We will keep you up to date
in our search for her.”
Carlisle nodded. “Of course. Good luck.”
“And good luck to you and Bella. I cannot believe you
are going through with your plan, but I’m sure Aro will be
beside himself with joy to see you back in Volterra of your own
free will,” Tanya said acidly.
Carlisle sighed. “We have no choice. Caius will never
leave us alone until he sees Bella has been changed.”
Tanya paused. “I just hope it’s enough for them to stop
their obsession with you.”

562!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a few days before the trip to Italy, Carlisle and

Edward were staring at a map of Brazil. Their research into
children like Renesmee had led to several accounts of Ticuna
legend that talked about children springing half grown from their
dead mother’s wombs which sounded suspiciously like vampire
child legends. Everyone was concerned about Renesmee’s
accelerated growth so they were searching for any information
that might tell them exactly how long her lifespan would be.
There was an unspoken concern that is she was more human, that
she did not have much time left. After placating the Volturi, they
would leave for Brazil and be in Ticuna territory a week later.
Jasper spoke from across the room. “Let it go, Alice;
she’s not our concern.”
Carlisle looked up at Alice and saw her stick her tongue
out at Jasper then pick up another crystal vase. She had been
arranging and rearranging Esme’s flowers all morning, trying to
distract herself, no doubt.
Suddenly, there was a whistle of air flying past a perfect
crystal edge and an ear-splitting crash as the vase Alice had been
holding shattered on the hardwood floors into thousands of
pieces. Then Carlisle heard Edward gasp behind him.
Jasper leapt across the room and grabbed Alice by the
shoulders. “What? What, Alice?”
Emmett scanned the windows looking for an attack.

563!
 Alice and Edward were standing still as statues on
opposite sides of the room and they whispered together in perfect
synchronization. “They’re coming for us. All of them. The
Volturi. All of them.”
Silence filled the room. Alice was the first to speak.
“Why? How?” She whispered to herself.
“When?” Edward whispered.
“Why?” Esme echoed.
“When?” Jasper repeated frantically.
Edward and Alice spoke together again. “Not long.
There’s snow on the forest.”
Alice whispered alone, “Snow on the town.”
Edward sighed, “Little more than a month.”
Carlisle repeated the next most important question for
the third time. “Why?”
Esme answered. “They must have a reason. Maybe to
see…”
“This isn’t about Bella,” Alice’s voice was haunted.
“They’re all coming – Aro, Caius, Marcus, every member of the
Guard, even the wives.”
Carlisle was aghast. The wives never left the tower. Not
since Marcus’s wife had been killed. “But why? We’ve done
nothing! And if we had, what could we possibly do that would
bring this down on us?”
“There are so many of us, they must want to make sure
that – ” Edward didn’t finish his thought.

564!
 “That doesn’t answer the crucial question!” Carlisle
demanded.
“Go back, Alice. Look for the trigger,” Jasper pleaded.
Alice’s shoulders sagged. “It came out of nowhere, Jazz.
I was just looking for Irina. She wasn’t where I expected her to
be…” Her head jerked up. Edward caught his breath. “She
decided to go to them. Irina decided to go to the Volturi. She was
thinking, ‘And they will decide…’” Alice’s brow creased. “It’s
like they’re waiting for her, like their decision was already
made…”
“Can we stop her?” Jasper asked.
“She’s almost there,” Alice mumbled.
“What is she doing?” Carlisle gasped.
“Think of what she saw that afternoon,” Bella said in a
low voice. Carlisle turned and saw her leaning protectively over
her sleeping child. “To someone who’d lost a mother because of
the immortal children, what would Renesmee look like?”
“An immortal child,” Carlisle’s whisper caught in his
throat and he sat on the sofa putting his head in his hands.
Edward knelt next to his girls and wrapped his arms over
both of them. But Bella went on. “She’s wrong. Renesmee isn’t
like those other children. They were frozen, but she grows so
much every day. They were out of control, but she never hurts
Charlie or even shows him things that would upset him. She can
control herself. There would be no reason…”

565!
 But there was a reason. Carlisle knew what it was.
Edward had predicted it himself. Aro was resolved to have Alice
at his right hand and Edward at his left: virtual omniscience. All
he needed was an excuse to come and collect them, and the
opportunity was about to arrive in Volterra.
Carlisle had a little over a month to find a way to save
his family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle drove a convertible Mercedes down the two-lane

country road outside Lourdes, France. The moonlight above him
glanced off the French countryside buildings and highlighted the
Chateau de Lourdes in the distance. Esme sat next to him
looking over a laminated map of the area.
Their trip so far had been very successful, but Carlisle
wanted to try to find the last one on Alice’s list. He also had to
admit he just really wanted to see this particular vampire.
Esme lifted her finger and pointed to the right, “Turn
here, my love.” Carlisle smoothly turned the car at a high speed,
as if he were on a Formula-1 racetrack. They were moving
deeper into the village surrounding the Chateau and Carlisle felt
many memories of Europe flood his mind as he looked around at
the modern franchise shops filling buildings that were easily as
old as Carlisle.

566!
 Esme pointed again. “Let’s park here and walk. Eleazar
said this area was his last known haunt.”
Carlisle slid the car to a stop in a parallel parking spot,
and then shut down the engine. Because he had announced their
arrival to everyone within earshot, if the vampire they sought
didn’t want to be found, then he would be long gone. Carlisle
lifted his nose and took a deep breath. The vampire hadn’t left;
he was nearby.
Carlisle and Esme got out of the car and walked toward
a sidewalk café. They ordered champagne and watched the
humans stroll by. After a few minutes Carlisle smiled and put a
hand over Esme’s, then looked up at the stars. “My friend,
please, come and meet my wife.”
“What possible reason could you have to seek me out,
animal-feeder?” a disembodied voice growled from the alley
shadows.
“Alistair, have some manners. Come and meet my wife
properly,” Carlisle chided with a smile.
A whisper of a breeze disturbed their hair and Alistair
appeared seated across from them at the café table. “Something
serious has happened.” His brow was creased but other than that
he hadn’t changed at all.
Carlisle turned to Esme. “Esme, my love, this is the
infamous Alistair.”
Esme grinned and nodded. “It’s a pleasure to meet you
finally, Alistair.”

567!
 Alistair waved his hand at her. “Too pretty, Esme, you
are too noticeable. If you need me to help you hide I’m going to
have to put a bag over you.”
Esme giggled. “I have a feeling that if you plan to hide
us anywhere there are females, you will have to do the same with
Carlisle.”
Alistair narrowed his eyes at Carlisle then glanced back
at Esme. “I see your point.” He looked back at Carlisle. “Good
choice, man. Smart one, she is.”
Carlisle chuckled, and Esme squeezed his hand.
“So I heard that you did not heed my warning in Italy
and stayed with Aro for a time; but that you also escaped his
grasp. Quite impressive for an animal-feeder.” Alistair grumbled
as his eyes shifted from human to human as they walked by.
“Like you told me in Rome, no one rules either of our
fates,” Carlisle replied with a grin.
Alistair frowned. “And I also hear that Jane was rather
impressed by your family, Carlisle,” Alistair said while scanning
the nearby fountain as if he expected something to emerge from
it.
Carlisle sighed. “My friend, the situation has escalated
far beyond that, I’m afraid.”
Alistair now focused all of his attention on Carlisle.
“Yes, I can feel it. Something is changing.”
Carlisle frowned. “What do you mean?”

568!
 Alistair glanced at Esme and then looked back at
Carlisle. “Have you have made another vampire?”
Carlisle shook his head. “No, Edward has changed his
mate, Bella.”
Alistair’s eyes became wider. “Ah, it becomes a bit
clearer. She was the human you protected?”
Esme nodded. “Yes, she and Edward are clearly meant
to be together.”
Alistair looked at Esme again, and his expression was
almost sad. “So she was with you, with your family for a long
time before she was changed?”
“A few years, yes, why?” Carlisle’s brows came
together.
Alistair closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then
looked back at Carlisle. “Tell me your story first.”
They all sat under the stars at the café as the champagne
sat un-drunk and Carlisle related the details of the encounter with
Irina, Alice’s vision and their plan.
“Irina thought you had made an eternal child?” Alistair
grumbled with disbelief. Then he looked at Carlisle with a hard
stare. “And the Volturi are now involved?”
Carlisle sighed and leaned forward onto the table with
folded hands. “Yes. We are trying to gather our friends to stand
with us and simply force them to hold off on taking any action
long enough to see that my granddaughter is not what they think

569!
she is. She is something entirely new… and special.” Esme
reached out and held Carlisle’s hand.
Alistair looked away for a moment and pursed his lips.
“Carlisle your entire family may be too special for the Volturi to
ever ignore. I cannot…”
“Alistair, please, I know you are older than the Volturi.
Have you ever seen anything like Renesmee before?” Carlisle
urgently asked the question he had wanted most to ask of his
friend.
Alistair shook his head again. “No. And vampires who
treated human women that way were usually punished.”
Carlisle frowned again. “You mean vampires who got
human women pregnant,” he sighed. “I didn’t know to warn
them.”
Alistair frowned at Carlisle. “No vampires that I am
aware of have gotten as close as your family does to humans in
five thousand years.” Then, suddenly, he closed his eyes for a
few seconds and lifted his chin slightly. “I can’t believe I’m
saying this, but I am drawn to follow you, Carlisle,” Alistair
grumbled and folded his arms, looking rather put out.
Carlisle smiled at Esme. “Thank you, Alistair.”
Without another word they hurried back to the car and
Carlisle brought the engine to life. Alistair looked at Carlisle in
the mirror. “Something is different.”
Carlisle looked back at Alistair and saw that his friend’s
brow was slightly creased. “What do you mean?”

570!
 “Hmm,” Alistair grumbled.
Esme looked over at Carlisle, who appeared troubled by
Alistair’s statement, but dropped the topic as Alistair did.
Carlisle stared straight ahead at the dark road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In all, the Cullens gathered seventeen witnesses to stand

with them, including Alistair, Siobhan, her mate Liam and
Maggie; Tanya, Kate, Eleazar and Carmen; Charlotte and Peter,
friends of Jasper; nomads Mary, Randall, and Garrett; the
Egyptians Amun, Kebi, Benjamin and Tia; the Amazons, Zafrina
and Senna; and finally Vladimir and Stephan, the Romanian
coven rulers who the Volturi had deposed almost fifteen hundred
years before.
The final addition to the talented group was Eleazar’s
discovery of Bella’s hidden talent. The Denali coven and the
Amazon vampires helped Bella develop the power that she had
always used against Edward’s gift without even realizing it. She
had a shield which not only protected her mind from vampires as
powerful as Aro and Jane, but she could extend it to cover and
protect others.
Eleazar walked up next to Carlisle as he stood on the
back porch of the house and watched the motley group practicing
their gifts against Bella’s shield.
“How are you holding up?” Eleazar said quietly.

571!
 Carlisle leaned forward onto the railing of the back
porch. “I am consumed with Edward’s read of Aro’s plan.”
Carlisle closed his eyes. He was so tired. “I would sacrifice
myself to keep Aro from possessing Alice and Edward, but I
really wish Alice was here.”
Eleazar cocked his head to the side. “Alice is following
her own destiny, and watching your new daughter perform,” he
nodded toward Bella, “I’m not certain that we will be taken.”
Carlisle sighed. “Thank you for being such a good
friend, Eleazar.”
Eleazar chuckled. “I told you, I had no choice; you were
like a force of nature, Carlisle.” Then Eleazar’s brow creased.
“Have you been feeling all right?”
Carlisle looked over at Eleazar with his brow creased.
“A bit stressed obviously, but fine, why?”
Eleazar’s brows lifted. “I don’t know… never mind.” He
waved it off and shook his head.
Carlisle frowned, but then stood up again and then
walked back toward the house.
“Alistair is faltering,” Eleazar called after Carlisle.
Carlisle stopped and nodded. “He may be the wisest of
us all if he is pulled away.”
Carlisle closed the glass door behind him and then
looked up at the ceiling. He could hear Alistair pacing and
muttering to himself. He walked up the stairs and into his office
where Alistair was wringing his hands.

572!
 “What do you want, animal-feeder?” he said testily.
Carlisle closed the door behind him and then spoke so
quietly that no one would be able to hear the conversation; even
Edward was too far away to eavesdrop. “You never explained to
me what you meant when you said, ‘something is changing.’”
Alistair stopped and closed his eyes, and then his brow
creased and he looked back at Carlisle with a gaze that had seen
more years than Carlisle dared to count.
“I have been waiting for you, Carlisle,” Alistair’s
whisper was almost as distant as his eyes. “I could never stop my
thirst, but ever since the human population fell, in the time of
famine and ice, I have worked to protect humanity from the
vampires hunting them to extinction.”
Carlisle stared at Alistair, he was older than Carlisle had
imagined.
“I have worked from the darkness. I have watched,
schemed, manipulated, and even undermined my own kind. I
was the one who ensured the Volturi would take power, and I
have been watching them, knowing that one day they would go
to far and would have to be supplanted again.”
Carlisle shook his head. “Alistair, if that is the ‘change’
you speak of, I will never – ”
Alistair cut him off. “But in all of the endless expanse of
my existence, I knew there had to be a solution. I knew that it
had to change. Something had to shift the winds. You are that
gentle breeze, Carlisle.”

573!
 Carlisle’s brow creased. “What do you mean, ‘solution’?
Is this part of why the Volturi are coming?”
Alistair leaned forward and whispered even more quietly
than they had been during this conversation. “They know it too.
They knew it the moment I found you. They are coming to
destroy you before you change the course of vampire history.”
Carlisle frowned. “But, why now? Why threaten my
granddaughter?”
“Because with your children, you are becoming too
powerful. They do not even realize how powerful your family
really is. And, they cannot allow you to continue to live so
differently, and successfully. For their power to endure, the
status quo must be restored. And you are the ultimate game
changer. You are changing all of us.”
Carlisle sat down and stared at the floor.
“I must leave,” Alistair said suddenly, and then he
started toward the door.
Carlisle soundlessly speed over to the door and blocked
it, pleading, “Wait!” But then he dropped his hands and hung his
head. “I would ask why, but I really do not have to know.”
Alistair closed his eyes again. “I was drawn here to see
Renesmee and Bella, and to tell you exactly what I have just
said,” he opened his eyes once more. “And now, I am drawn
away, some other mystery is pulling me – quite strongly, in
fact.” He seemed to be fighting an unconscious urge to inch
toward the door.

574!
 Carlisle sighed, and stepped aside. “I will not disappoint
you, my friend.”
Alistair’s his eyes were pained. “Carlisle, your mere
existence has justified millennia of my own insane struggle. You
have been my savior in so many ways. Thank you.” He frowned,
and then looked into Carlisle’s eyes again. “I sincerely hope that
we will meet again.”
Then, a light shift in the air of the room ruffled Carlisle’s
hair, and Alistair was gone. Eleazar and Edward told the others
about Alistair’s theory. Carlisle hated that the others thought
Alistair was a coward, but he told no one of Alistair’s mission,
because that was not his secret to tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle stood with his family and watched the entire

Guard arrive. The procession of thirty-two walked slowly and
with great pomp. They had brought over forty additional
witnesses as well, from Europe and beyond. Carlisle recognized
many of their faces from his travels in the Old World. Carlisle
watched sadly as Irina wandered in between the two companies;
she stared with horror as she saw Tanya and Kate on the front
line of the condemned.
Edward began to snarl. “Alistair was right,” he
murmured to Carlisle. “They – Caius and Aro – come to destroy
and acquire.”

575!
 Son, this is our chance. I know you have questioned
whether you are ready for this, but I want you to know I have
complete faith in you. No matter what happens to us, they will
not achieve their intended ends today. They will not take any of
us. Carlisle thought with complete confidence. I need to know,
have they chosen their targets? Carlisle shot a questioning
glance at Edward.
“They have many layers of strategy already in place,”
Edward said almost silently so only the Cullens could hear. “If
Irina’s accusation had somehow proven to be false, they were
committed to find another reason to take offense. But they can
see Renesmee now, so they are perfectly sanguine about their
course. We could still attempt to defend against their other
contrived charges, but first they have to stop, to hear the truth
about Renesmee; which they have no intention of doing.”
Carlisle looked over at Edward and a burning sensation
began to build in his chest. He scanned the lines of Volturi and
his eyes narrowed. He thought of every member of his family
and all of the other witnesses who were so bravely standing on
the side of truth, of all of the lives that hung in the balance; and
slowly, the heat began to seep out of him. It was not a wave of
power, it was a steady stream flowing off his skin, and within
seconds the entire group of Cullen witnesses were standing in an
expanding pool. And a mere minute later, that pool was covering
the entire clearing. Soon, every vampire present, Volturi,
Cullens, and witnesses on either side, were all ankle deep in the

576!
largest expanse of Carlisle’s power yet, but they were completely
unaware. No one could overtly feel its influence; no one could
state when its affect gripped them. Just very slowly, subtly, it
seeped into each of them.
I just need a moment, one moment of compassion, let us
speak… Stop, hear me speak… Carlisle pushed his message
outward for anyone listening. And he could feel in the currents at
his feet that some were already feeling the effects of his power.
And then, Carlisle heard them coming. The rhythm of
the large slow heartbeats of sixteen werewolves the size of
horses brought joy and sadness to his cold heart as they padded
up behind Carlisle and his family. Suddenly, the Volturi’s
procession halted. The numbers on the home team had just
doubled.
Carlisle looked at Aro and Caius. He could see them
scanning the field. And then he saw clear disappointment in
Aro’s face.
Alice is not here, Aro, you will not have that particular
prize. You will not have any of them. Carlisle thought angrily.
Then he heard Edward’s breathing speed up with anger. Calm
down, son, what is it? He did not respond. “Edward?”
“They’re not sure how to proceed,” he sounded
surprised, but his teeth clenched. “They’re weighing options,
choosing key targets – me, of course YOU, Eleazar, Tanya.
Marcus is reading the strength of our ties to each other, looking
for weak points. The Romanians’ presence irritates them.

577!
They’re worried about the faces they don’t recognize – Zafrina
and Senna in particular – and the wolves, naturally. They’ve
never been outnumbered before. That’s what finally stopped
them.”
Carlisle frowned. “Should I speak?”
Edward’s eyes shifted back and forth for a moment, then
he nodded. “This is the only chance you’ll get.”
Carlisle immediately squared his shoulders and took
several steps ahead of the defensive line. He saw Edward reach
out instinctively toward his father, but he managed to pull his
hand back in check. It will be fine, Edward. They will not try to
kill me, yet.
Carlisle’s power continued to seep out of his skin and
flow down to the unseen gathering pool at his feet. He spread his
arms, holding his palms up, the old gesture for Aro to read
another vampire’s thoughts. “Aro, my old friend. It’s been
centuries.”
Carlisle watched Aro’s expressions. First, there was a
moment of anger. Next, there was sadness and longing, for days
past. Then, there was a flicker of fear, and finally, well-practiced
composure as Aro and his shield, Renata, took a step forward.
Aro held up a hand. “Peace.” Renata shadowed every
move as Aro cocked his head at Carlisle and he walked forward
a few more paces. “Fair words, Carlisle. They seem out of place
considering the army you’ve assembled to kill me, and to kill my

578!
dear ones.” His milky gaze flickered over the bared teeth of the
werewolves.
Carlisle shook his head and reached forward with his
right hand with the palm still upward as if there were not still
almost a hundred yards between them. “You have but to touch
my hand to know that was never my intent,” Carlisle’s soft voice
seemed to fill the clearing. Everyone present felt as if they were
surrounded by his serene manner and heard very clearly every
word he spoke.
Aro’s shrewd eyes narrowed. “But how can your intent
possibly matter, dear Carlisle, in the face of what you have
done?” But then, he frowned, and a shadow of sadness crossed
his features again.
Carlisle breathed a tiny sigh of relief. He knew that Aro
was being affected by his power no matter how much he tried to
hide it. He projected to the entire company of witnesses.
“I have not committed the crime you are here to punish
me for.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Irina cringe at his
words. Tanya and Kate saw her too and they shifted slightly
behind Carlisle.
“Then step aside and let us punish those responsible.
Truly, Carlisle, nothing would please me more than to preserve
your life today,” Aro was now betraying far more emotion than
Carlisle thought possible.
Again Carlisle pushed his words outward, but he focused
on Aro, holding his gaze. “No one has broken the law, Aro. Let

579!
me explain.” Carlisle lifted his hand again and for a brief
moment dared to hope that the day might be won with only his
power and his words and that he could spare the entire family
and prevent Aro from touching any of them. But before Aro
could answer, Caius swiftly drifted forward to his side. Caius
had come too far for their plan to fail, and he would not allow
Carlisle to exploit Aro’s affection.
“So many pointless rules, so many unnecessary laws you
create for yourself, Carlisle,” the white-haired ancient sneered.
“How is it possible that you defend the breaking of one that truly
matters?”
Carlisle kept his eyes on Aro, and his power continued
to flow off of him slowly. “The law is not broken. If you would
listen – ”
“We see the child, Carlisle,” Caius snarled. “Do not treat
us as fools.”
Carlisle continued to hold his hand out toward Aro, and
kept his gaze steady. Again he pushed his soft voice outward to
the entire crowd. “She is not an immortal. She is not a vampire. I
can easily prove this with just a few moments – ”
Caius scoffed. “If she is not one of the forbidden, then
why have you massed a battalion to protect her?”
“Witnesses, Caius, just as you have brought.” Carlisle
gestured toward the angry horde at the edge of the woods; some
of them growled in response, but some of them shifted their
weight as they stood in the gathering pool of his power and

580!
merely frowned. Then he gestured to the vampires that stood by
him. “Any one of these friends can tell you the truth about the
child. Or you could just look at her, Caius. See the flush of
human blood in her cheeks.”
“Artifice!” Caius screeched. “Where is the informer? Let
her come forward!”
Irina was prodded from behind by one of the wives’
bodyguards and she slowly walked toward Caius in a daze. Her
eyes were still locked on her sisters. Tanya and Kate shifted
again behind Carlisle.
Caius impatiently growled and closed the distance
between them, then slapped Irina across the face to bring her
attention to him. Tanya and Kate hissed in response. Carlisle
turned his head toward them and they brought themselves under
control immediately. Caius angrily questioned Irina, who began
to hesitate because it was clear to her that Renesmee had grown
and was not what she had assumed she was.
Carlisle focused his gaze back on Aro the entire time: in
Carlisle’s eyes there was no anger, no bitterness, just
compassion. You have felt it before, you remember what
compassion feels like, you do not have to do this, remember…
Aro suddenly flitted to Caius’s side and put a restraining
hand on his shoulder, and Caius’s bared teeth instantly
disappeared. “Be composed, brother. We have time to sort this
out. No need to be hasty.” With a sullen expression, Caius turned
his back on Irina.

581!
 “Now, sweetling,” Aro’s voice became high and sugary.
“Show me what you’re trying to say.” He held out his hand, and
Irina took it with resignation. In five seconds he dropped her
hand and turned his back on her. “You see, Caius? It’s a simple
matter to get what we need.”
Aro glanced sideways at his audience of witnesses, now
none of them were growling. The rabid mob was sinking deeper
into Carlisle’s power, and they were now looking for some
confirmation from Aro that they were still in the right. But Aro
had no assurances to give them.
He turned back to Carlisle. “And so, we have a mystery
on our hands, it seems. It would appear the child has grown. Yet
Irina’s first memory was clearly that of an immortal child.
Curious.”
One corner of Carlisle’s mouth lifted very slightly, as
did the tenor of his voice as he pushed it outward once again.
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to explain.” His hope that he
could fix this situation alone floated up once again. Carlisle
lifted up his hand toward Aro.
Once more, however, Caius interfered. He growled and
Aro hesitated for a moment. “I would rather have the explanation
from someone more central to the story, my friend. Am I wrong
to assume that this breach was not of your making?”
Carlisle instantly knew what Aro’s new target was, and
for the first time, his anger began to boil. “There was no breach.”

582!
 “Be that as it may, I will have every facet of the truth.”
As Aro’s feathery voice hardened, and Carlisle’s hope sank.
“And the best way to get that is to have the evidence directly
from your talented son.”
Edward, Carlisle’s thoughts became instantly desperate.
Edward, don’t let him hold you for too long, don’t let Caius
come within ten feet of you, and if you sense they are going to
attack just RUN. Use all of your speed and run back to us. Bella
will do whatever she must to bring you back within the shield…
“As the child clings to his newborn mate, I’m assuming
Edward is involved,” Aro turned his head and smiled at the tall
vampire standing at Carlisle’s right hand.
If they attack you, I will come and get you. I will keep
you all safe no matter the cost. Carlisle gritted his teeth.
Edward turned to quickly kiss Bella’s forehead and
Renesmee’s. He did not look Carlisle in the eye as he clapped his
father’s shoulder as he passed, and Carlisle felt something inside
him freeze over with fear as his son walked toward the jaws of
the lion. Behind him he heard Esme whimper quietly, and
Carlisle’s jaw clenched even tighter.
With every step Edward took Carlisle’s breath
quickened, and his hopes began to drain away and then one
driving thought pushed through his mental walls and came
crashing down on him, I failed him.
Suddenly, Carlisle felt a wave flow over him, and the
force of it surprised him. But, as he shifted his eyes back and

583!
forth to see where it came from he realized that no one else had
sensed it. He could see a radiance was now surrounding them,
and it was covering Edward as well, fifty yards away. Then he
heard a startled laugh behind him, and Carlisle realized he
recognized the cover that now protected him because he had seen
it before: it was Bella. When she practiced the shield was
virtually invisible even to him, but suddenly her power had
exploded, and what he now saw was more like the corona he saw
at her rebirth.
Carlisle felt his hope and power surge and it appeared to
flow through the shield. The witnesses seemed even less sure of
themselves as Edward slowed to a stop just a few steps from
Aro. Carlisle heard Bella growl and her shield pulled back
slightly so that Edward was now exposed. Carlisle frowned but
he knew as well as Bella did that Aro had to see the truth, and
she could not interfere.
Edward mimicked his father’s posture and held out his
hand, arrogantly expecting Aro to close the distance. Aro did so
without a moment of hesitation and when he took Edward’s hand
his eyes snapped shut, and his shoulders hunched at the
onslaught of information. Carlisle was fascinated to see the
effect of his son’s gift on Aro, no one had ever given him too
much information at once, but Edward had seen and felt so much
in every moment that their first contact must have been even
more dramatic. Bella hissed behind Carlisle and Zafrina
whispered words of comfort to her.

584!
 The communication lasted long enough that Carlisle was
certain that not only was Aro reading Edward’s thoughts, he was
attempting to see the thoughts of every one present. Then Aro
straightened up and his eyes flashed open, their expression awed
and wary. Carlisle could see that Aro had not released Edward’s
hand and his body tensed.
“You see?” Edward asked with a calm voice.
Aro smiled. “Yes, I see, indeed. I doubt whether any two
among gods or mortals have ever seen quite so clearly.” He
cocked his head to the side, and his eyes flashed toward Carlisle
and back. Carlisle knew Aro was trying to use Edward to read
Carlisle, and likely the entire Cullen group, but they were all
protected by Bella’s shield.
“You have given me much to ponder, young friend.
Much more than I expected.” Aro’s gaze slipped over to
Renesmee, and Carlisle suddenly stopped worrying about his
son’s tense stance, and now his anger grew as he realized Aro
had a new target.
“May I meet her? I never dreamed of the existence of
such a thing in all my centuries. What an addition to our
histories!” Aro said with eager interest. Carlisle frowned
sardonically as he wondered how much history was erased when
the Volturi took over rule of the vampire world.
“What is this about, Aro?” Caius snapped.

585!
 “Something you’ve never dreamed of, my practical
friend. Take a moment to ponder for the justice we intended to
deliver no longer applies,” Aro said firmly.
Caius hissed in surprise. Aro had distanced himself from
Caius, calling him “friend” instead of “brother,” and he had
ended their call for blood with one statement. “Peace, brother,”
Aro said soothingly.
He turned back to Edward. “Will you introduce me to
your daughter?” Edward negotiated with Aro without words and
then Aro responded out loud for the benefit of everyone who
could not read minds. “I think a compromise on this one point is
certainly acceptable, under the circumstance. We will meet in the
middle.”
Aro released Edward’s hand but put his arm around his
shoulders and kept one his hand in contact with Edward’s skin,
hoping to gain some access to the thoughts of the Cullens as they
walked back toward Carlisle. Felix, Demitri and Renata followed
to put the Guard at ease.
Edward called out calmly. “Bella, bring Renesmee…
and a few friends.”
Bella, Renesmee, Emmett and Jacob all walked forward,
still under Bella’s shield, and met the party from the other side.
Carlisle could barely concentrate on the words exchanged; his
eyes kept shifting from person to person as he worked to hold his
panic in check. Aro had his proof, and he had rejected their plan
to attack. He was now stalling, gathering surveillance. Bella’s

586!
shield was blocking him, so Aro was trying to buy time, and now
he was deciding whether or not Renesmee should be disposed of
in the ensuing battle…
“But she’s exquisite! So like you and Edward,” he
smiled at Bella sweetly. Then Aro grinned at the little toddler
and Carlisle had to clench his teeth again to stop himself from
hissing. “Hello, Renesmee.”
She looked to Bella for approval and then turned back to
the ancient with strange, cloudy eyes. “Hello, Aro,” she
answered in her high ringing voice. Aro’s curiosity was now
piqued.
“What is it?” Caius hissed.
“Half mortal, half immortal,” Aro announced without
turning his enthralled gaze from Renesmee. “Conceived so, and
carried by this newborn while she was still human.”
“Impossible,” Caius scoffed.
“Do you think they’ve fooled me, then, brother?” Aro’s
expression was amused, but Carlisle could hear the ire in his
tone, and Caius flinched. “Is the heartbeat you hear trickery as
well?” Carlisle’s gaze slide over to Marcus as he realized that
this was the biggest crack he had ever seen between the Volturi.
As he expected, Marcus was focused on the situation, and did
not look at all bored.
“Calmly and carefully, brother,” Aro cautioned, still
smiling at Renesmee. “So much to learn, so much to learn! I
know you don’t have my enthusiasm for collecting histories, but

587!
be tolerant with me, brother, as I add a chapter that stuns me
with it’s improbability. We came expecting only justice and the
sadness of false friends, but look at what we have gained instead!
A new, bright knowledge of ourselves, our possibilities.”
He held out his hand to Renesmee, but instead she
reached upward to touch her fingertips to Aro’s ancient face.
Carlisle held his breath as Aro’s smile widened, and he sighed
with satisfaction. “Brilliant,” he whispered.
Then Renesmee released Aro and relaxed back into
Bella’s arms. “Please?” she underlined the question she had just
asked Aro in their silent communication.
Aro’s smile softened and his voice became comforting.
“Of course, I have no desire to harm your loved ones, precious
Renesmee.” Maggie hissed behind Carlisle and the company
knew that Maggie had revealed the lie.
Aro suddenly seemed interested in the werewolves.
“They seem quite attached to you,” Aro said to Edward. “And
your young mate, and your… family. Loyal.” His voice caressed
the word softly with jealousy.
Edward frowned. “They’re committed to protecting
human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us, but
hardly with you. Unless you’re rethinking your lifestyle.” Jacob
whined and asked a question in his thoughts. Edward murmured
back, “He’s intrigued with the idea of…guard dogs.” The
clearing filled with roars of protest, which Sam stopped with a
sharp bark of command.

588!
 “So much to discuss, so much to decide,” Aro’s tone had
suddenly slipped back into business mode. “If you and your
furry protector will excuse me, my dear Cullens, I must confer
with my brothers.”
Edward started backing up immediately and pulled the
group back with him. He smiled tensely at Carlisle as he passed,
and Carlisle forced one side of his mouth to turn up in response.
Well done, son. Very well done.
Aro and Caius began arguing at once, and the mob of
witnesses whispered to each other as they watched the Volturi
unravel before them. Suddenly, Carlisle felt the shield snap back
against him and increase in intensity. He was the furthest
forward, and Bella seemed to be concerned with securing his
position. He shifted back slightly to bring himself closer to the
defensive line so that he was standing nearer to Tanya, and he
felt the shield move with him. It was a like a warm blanket,
hugging his form perfectly. Carlisle smiled to himself; Bella was
getting stronger.
Caius tried to turn the focus of the witnesses on the
werewolves but Edward easily pointed out that the Quileute were
not the same as the Children of the Moon who hunted vampires
down in Europe and Asia. Caius had pushed them nearly to
extinction with his crusade against them. Edward called what the
Quileute had a “genetic skill” – shape-shifting.
Once again, Aro pulled Caius back and stopped the
argument. “They are creatures of the supernatural world, brother.

589!
Perhaps even more dependent on secrecy than we are; they can
hardly expose us. Carefully, Caius. Specious allegations get us
nowhere.”
Carlisle watched with fascination as Caius and Aro
exchanged a long, significant glance. Aro was trying to move
Caius back to the script, but Caius had only agreed to it because
they had never had to use it before. Every encounter they had
before resulted in the slaughter Caius craved. Caius was not
about to leave disappointed.
“Irina,” Caius barked.
She tore her eyes from her sisters again, and jumped as
Caius snapped his fingers at her. She moved to stand in front of
him. “So you appear to have been quite mistaken in your
allegations.”
Carlisle felt Tanya and Kate lean forward and he lifted
his left hand slightly in warning.
“Dear Caius, could you expect her to have guessed in an
instant something so strange and impossible?” Aro asked. “Any
of us would have made the same assumption.” Carlisle saw
straight through the theatrics and knew that the next stage in the
plan had been set in motion, but he was failing to see what role
Irina was meant to play. His mind raced as Caius continued.
“We all know you made a mistake,” he said brusquely.
“I meant to speak of your motivations.”
Irina stared at Caius. “My motivations?”

590!
 Caius leveled her with his gaze. “Yes, for coming to spy
on them in the first place.” Irina flinched at the word spy.
Carlisle heard the girls gasp behind him, and his own lips
thinned. “You were unhappy with the Cullens, were you not?”
Irina turned her miserable eyes to Carlisle’s face. “I
was,” she admitted. Carlisle frowned and his brow creased.
“Because…?” Caius said impatiently.
“Because the werewolves killed my friend,” she
whispered. “And the Cullens wouldn’t stand aside to let me
avenge him.”
Carlisle’s frozen heart broke in two, because he had
allowed such a breach to go unresolved. Suddenly, his lips parted
slightly in a silent gasp of pain and his power ceased to flow off
of him.
“So the Cullens sided with the shape-shifters against our
own kind – against the friend of a friend, even,” Caius
summarized, as he turned his gaze to Carlisle. But Carlisle was
not looking at him, he was still staring in misery at Irina, and
struggling with all of his ability to hide the fact that he was
barely able to stand. He had a well-practiced method for
blocking his thoughts from his son.
Fortunately, Edward was paying too much attention to
the Volturi at that particular moment and did not notice
Carlisle’s rigid stance. He made a disgusted sound as he read the
thoughts on the other side of the field.

591!
 Irina’s shoulders stiffened as she saw the agony in
Carlisle’s face. “That’s how I saw it,” she whispered to him, her
face showing him her unspoken apology.
Carlisle suddenly felt his strength returning, and his
muscles relaxing. He nodded to her in silent acknowledgement
of her remorse.
Then Irina’s jaw jerked up, and her shoulders squared.
“No, I have no complaint against the wolves, or the Cullens. You
came here today to destroy an immortal child. No immortal child
exists. This was my mistake and I take full responsibility for it.
But the Cullens are innocent, and you have no reason to still be
here. I’m so sorry,” she said to everyone on the opposite side of
the field. “There was no crime.”
As she was speaking Carlisle saw a flash of metal and he
opened his mouth to scream his protest but it was already too
late. The Guard had converged and Caius had set Irina’s remains
on fire before Carlisle’s cry left his lips.
“Stop them!” Edward cried out, jumping to grab Tanya’s
arm as she lurched forward with a maddened cry of pure rage.
She tried to shake Edward off but Carlisle was there in an instant
and locked his arms around her waist.
“It’s too late to help her,” Carlisle cried. “Don’t give him
what he wants!”
Kate was harder to contain. She shocked Rose so
violently she crumpled to the ground. Emmett caught Kate’s arm
and threw her down, but then staggered back as she zapped him

592!
and rolled to her feet. Garrett flung himself at her, knocking her
down and locked his hands around her, gripping his own wrists
as his body was rocked with spasms, but his hold did not break.
Zafrina took her sight, and as Kate’s eyes went blank her
screams turned to moans of grief, and Tanya too stopped
struggling.
“Listen to me, Tanya, Kate,” Carlisle said in a low,
intense whisper. “Vengeance doesn’t help her now. Irina
wouldn’t want you to waste your lives this way. Think about
what you’re doing. If you attack them, we all die.”
Tanya’s tensed shoulders finally hunched with grief, she
leaned into Carlisle for support, and Kate was finally still.
Carlisle and Garrett consoled the sisters, and in the quiet clearing
their sobbing was the only sound.
Carlisle looked up as he kept his arms around Tanya,
because now he heard another sound: grumbling. The second
strategy, provoke an attack, had failed, and in fact, it had
backfired. Aro was now scanning the faces of his witnesses and
realized he needed to move on to the next tactic. He turned to the
Cullen’s witnesses and began to test their loyalty. Amun’s
loyalty was easily broken. Siobhan’s was not. So Aro tried to use
his propaganda.
“There is no broken law,” Aro said with a meaningful
pause. “However, does it follow then that there is no danger?
No.” He shook his head. “That is a separate issue. This amazing
child, we know nothing of what she will become! Her own

593!
parents are plagued by fears of her future. We cannot know what
she will grow to be.” He paused looking first at the Cullens’
witnesses, and then at his own. “Only the known is safe. Only
the known is tolerable. The unknown is a vulnerability.”
Carlisle frowned. “You’re reaching, Aro,” he said
bleakly.
Garrett took a step forward, unexpectedly. “I came here
at Carlisle’s request, as the others, to witness. That is no longer
necessary, with regard to the child. But some of us wondered,”
his eyes flashed to Eleazar’s face, “if Carlisle having truth on his
side would be enough to stop the so-called justice. Are the
Volturi here to protect the safety of our secrecy, or to protect
their own power? Did they come to destroy an illegal creation, or
a way of life?” Garrett stared down the uncertain hoard. “Are
you free to choose your path, or will the Volturi decide how you
will live?”
Charles stood close to Makenna near the front of the
witnesses. Charles was clearly upset by Garrett’s words.
“Do not fear us, friend Charles. No doubt the patriot
truly believes what he says,” Aro chuckled lightly.
Charles’s eyes narrowed. “I know when I am hearing the
truth and when I am not.”
“Our witness is that the condemned family is innocent.
Everything Garrett claimed is the truth,” Makenna said. She
turned her eyes toward Carlisle and nodded toward him. “We did
not come for a fight. We’re leaving now.” Carlisle nodded in

594!
response and looked at Charles with thanks for their support
because the entire crowd of witnesses now seemed completely
swayed. The other thirty-seven witnesses stayed, but they had no
intention of fighting for the Volturi.
Carlisle reassessed the field, however, and even with the
assurance that the witnesses would not interfere, he still could
not see a way to leave the clearing without the inevitable
confrontation.
“Is there no hope, then?” he whispered to his son with
resolve.
“There is absolutely hope,” Bella replied in a harsh
whisper.
Carlisle turned toward her and saw the determination in
her face. As Esme stepped forward to hold his hand he looked
down at her with a slightly shocked smile of sudden
understanding. “Bella and Edward are going to be the leaders of
this coven,” he said with a strange sense of joy that she could
barely comprehend.
She looked up at him with fear in her eyes, “No, Edward
and I will never allow Aro to touch you…” she said fiercely,
gripping his arm.
He leaned down and rested his head against hers and
whispered, “My love, forever.”
“Get ready,” Bella whispered. “It’s starting.”
She felt the attack against her shield before they
announced their intentions. It was normal procedure for the

595!
Volturi to incapacitate those on trial so they could not escape
before judgment. Edward heard Jane’s thoughts only a moment
before she tried to bring Carlisle down. She was particularly
eager to deliver Aro’s first target and test her gift against his
power.
Edward’s eyes flashed toward Carlisle but he could not
see Carlisle’s face and panic stabbed his cold heart. He lurched
toward his father. “Carlisle!! Are you all right?” he gasped
frantically.
Carlisle turned toward Edward and saw the horror in his
eyes. “Yes, why?” Carlisle said reaching out to grasp his son’s
hand tightly, Esme still held his other arm in a vice-like grip.
“Jane,” Edward said with a growl, and then he looked
back at Bella.
She smirked with pride, “I am all over this.”
Still gripping Carlisle’s arm protectively Edward turned
toward Jane and bared his teeth at her. Esme stepped in front of
her mate and hissed directly at Jane.
The Romanians chuckled with dark anticipation, and
Jane screamed with frustration as she failed to penetrate the
Cullens’ defenses. Carlisle felt the shield pull away from him
and push outward to stop any attack from even getting close.
Alec sent his clear mist toward the group to cloud their
sight and senses. Suddenly, the wind whipped around them,
circling the Cullens, and the ground opened up between the two
groups as Benjamin worked to take some of the pressure off of

596!
Bella. But the mist skipped over his obstacles and seemed
unaffected by the wind. Jane and Alec smiled.
Then, the mist hit the shield, and revealed the full size
and obvious strength of Bella’s power. The mist rolled over the
flat dome, looking for a weakness and failed. The Volturi were
shocked and stared at Bella in wonder.
“Well done, Bella!” Benjamin cheered. Bella smiled.
Carlisle watched with a mixture of pride and horror as
his company began to divvy up the Volturi. Carlisle turned back
to Aro, and he could see Aro knew his tactics were failing. And
then Carlisle saw from the corner of his eye Chelsea stamping
her feet with frustration as she failed to break the bonds of
loyalty among the Cullens. Carlisle frowned as the Volturi made
a show of their vote on the fate of the Cullens. Aro was still
looking for a way out before he lost any more of his appearance
of authority. But Carlisle had no way to help him.
“The child is an unknown quantity. There is no reason to
allow such a risk to exist. It must be destroyed, along with all
who protect it.” Caius smiled in expectation.
“I see no immediate danger. The child is safe enough for
now. We can always reevaluate later. Let us leave in peace.”
Marcus looked through the Cullens, even past Carlisle.
“I must make the deciding vote, it seems,” Aro mused.
“Yes!” Edward suddenly hissed. Carlisle glanced over at
his son and saw a triumphant, and terrible grin. “Aro?” The tone
of victory in his voice rang across the clearing.

597!
 Aro hesitated. “You have something further?”
“The danger you foresee from my daughter – this stems
entirely form our inability to guess how she will develop?”
“If there was some way to be absolutely sure, then yes,
there would be no question to debate.”
Edward chuckled exultantly. “Then I do have something
more to offer. Why don’t you join us, Alice?”
Alice brought with her a witness from the Amazon, a
child of the Ticuna legends; a child like Renesmee. She had left
the Cullens because she knew that Aro would touch one of them,
either Edward or Carlisle, and he would know before they
arrived that she was searching for absolute proof of what
Renesmee was which might have prompted them to act quickly.
The child of the Amazon, Nahuel, was over one hundred and
fifty years old, and he had reached maturity at seven years. His
appearance was that of a human around the age of twenty-one.
He had aged, like Renesmee, at three times the normal rate of a
human, and had frozen at the age of human physical maturity as
well as mental maturity. He had full respect for the secret, and
for the Volturi.
“Brother,” Aro said softly to Caius. “There appears to be
no danger. This is an unusual development, but I see no threat.
These half-vampire children are much like us, it seems.”
“And his father – this Joham? The ‘scientist’ creating an
‘super-race’?” Caius said angrily.

598!
 Aro looked back at Caius. “Perhaps we should speak
with him,” Aro agreed. Then he turned to the Guard. “Dear ones,
we do not fight today.”
Slowly, the Guard straightened up from their fighting
stance, and then they began to march away. One by one, the
witnesses scattered. Caius and Marcus marched out with the
Guard, but Aro and his three personal guardians stayed, and he
held out his hands toward Carlisle.
“I’m so glad this could be resolved without violence,”
Aro said sweetly. “My friend, Carlisle – how pleased I am to call
you friend again! I hope there are no bad feelings. I know you
understand the strict burden that our duty places on our
shoulders.”
Carlisle stood mere meters away from Aro and the
centuries of animosity flew across that distance. But Carlisle
decided that there was more at stake here than his personal
feelings toward a tyrant drunk with power and his own
megalomanical vision of how to win back Carlisle’s affection, or
simply repossess what he thought belonged to him. This was the
moment where Carlisle knew he had to show everyone present
what it meant to have only love in one’s heart.
One last time Carlisle allowed his power to expand in a
burst. Bella’s shield shimmered as his corona passed through
their defense and covered the entire clearing. This time, even
members of the guard began to look uneasy, and Marcus felt
their loyalty waver. Marcus turned and met Carlisle’s gaze and

599!
he saw for a brief moment a shadow of a smile on the Volturi’s
face. He looked at each of the Volturi members and was satisfied
as he saw on many of their faces questions, and confusion.
Carlisle dared to hope for just a moment that he might have
brought some good to this situation. Finally, he looked at Aro
again. He could see that Aro had the same conflicted look of fear
on his face that Carlisle saw for the first time in his apartment in
Rome hundreds of years before. But this time Carlisle knew
what Aro feared – his own irrelevance, and the effect Carlisle
had had upon him most of all.
“Leave in peace, Aro,” Carlisle said in a low voice.
“Please remember that we still have our anonymity to protect
here, and keep your guard from hunting in this region.”
“Of course, Carlisle,” Aro assured him. “I am sorry to
earn your disapproval, my dear friend. Perhaps in time, you will
forgive me.”
No one but Carlisle and the two other Volturi knew that
Aro never asked for forgiveness – ever. Carlisle’s eye twitched
slightly, unsure of what this meant, but he decided to ignore it,
for the time being.
“Perhaps,” Carlisle said, carefully measuring every word
that came out of his mouth, “in time, if you prove a friend to us
again.”
Aro bowed his head, the picture of remorse, and drifted
backward for a moment before he turned around and was the last
to disappear into the forest.

600!
 Carlisle stood there staring at the edge of the forest even
as Alice assured the company of witnesses that the confrontation
was over. He could already see in his mind Aro’s ire over his
defeat. He could feel Aro’s fear. Carlisle knew that Aro was still
in his future, but he had no idea what that future held.
Edward suddenly broke into his troubled thoughts by
throwing his arms around his father and embracing him so
tightly that Carlisle smiled. Carlisle noticed that his
granddaughter was watching them and smiling back at him from
her mother’s arms, and many of the other family members were
also in similar embraces. For the first time Carlisle’s joy over
their success overwhelmed his worries. He hugged his son back
and laughed out loud.

601!
602!
 CHAPTER 24
~~2007~~

Carlisle stood at one of the large ceiling-to-floor

windows at the back of the house looking out on the setting sun
and smiling to himself. There had been light dustings of snow
earlier that week but it did not look like Alice was going to get
her wish for a perfect white blanket of powder for Renesmee’s
second Christmas. The first one had been marred with
desperation and sadness because it was right before the
confrontation with the Volturi. Alice was determined to make
sure that the second was perfect, and never to be defeated, she
was outside setting up a rented snow machine. Jasper was
dutifully helping her and doing a better job than Carlisle at
keeping a straight face.
After the confrontation with the Volturi all of the
witnesses and friends slowly said their farewells and the family
settled into a period of peace. Edward and Bella had deferred
their admission to Dartmouth for a year to spend some time with
family, especially since Renesmee was still growing so quickly,

603!
they didn’t want anyone to miss it. It also made things easier for
Jacob because he could not leave his father.
Billy Black had taken a bad turn with his diabetes and it
had started to affect his eyesight so Carlisle was spending more
time with him on getting his glucose under control. Jacob was
practically part of the family, but he was busy helping his father,
so Jacob would be joining them later that evening.
Carlisle continued to watch Alice and chuckled to
himself as she buzzed around the backyard spreading the snow
happily over the trees and shrubs, including the trio of enormous
outdoor Christmas trees she had decorated.
Rosalie was hard at work on the tree in the foyer, and
Emmett was helping but could not tear himself away from the
Florida Gator basketball game he had recorded over the weekend
while they were hunting. He kept zipping back and forth from
the foyer to the TV to catch a play and howling with joy or
agony.
“My love, come and help me with these lights, if we
don’t finish this before Renesmee gets here, Alice will have your
head,” Esme called out.
Carlisle chuckled and walked back through the main
family area, he smiled when Emmett fell to his knees in front of
the TV and cried out in agony as Florida fell further behind, and
into the formal living room where the piano sat quietly waiting
for Edward’s return. Alice had already set out a book of
Christmas carol music for him.

604!
 “She’ll have MY head?” Carlisle smiled at Esme.
“Ok, she’ll have both our heads, but she’ll know who
dragged his feet and amused himself by laughing at her spraying
snow on the back yard.” Esme tiptoed gracefully along the edges
of the large windows hanging the lights around the frames high
above the main floor.
Carlisle picked up five more boxes of Christmas lights
and within seconds had them wound around the banister and
hanging from the loft down into the main room. Together they
finished Alice’s vision for the house, covering every available
space they could find with twinkling lights. When Alice walked
back inside her eyes were wide with excitement.
“Oh! It’s exactly as I had hoped! Thank you, Esme!”
She ran to embrace her mother. And when Carlisle cleared his
throat she turned toward him and frowned. “Don’t think I didn’t
hear you chuckling while I worked so hard to make Renesmee’s
Christmas perfect.”
Carlisle smiled and suppressed another chuckle and
Esme grinned at him and stuck out her tongue impishly. Carlisle
decided to stay out of their way as they finished the Christmas
cookies for Renesmee and Jacob, and retreated to his study.
Carlisle scrolled through his digital music until he found the
London Symphony live performance of Christmas carols with
the Vienna Boys choir and lost himself in a volume of poetry.
Emmett burst in ten minutes later still holding tinsel in
one hand and a box of ornaments in the other. “I’ve got it

605!
Carlisle!” He exclaimed with a large grin. “All we have to do is
wait until the majority of the day classes are available online,
and we can attend the night classes. We don’t have to live on
campus, we can claim the skin condition and buy a house and
black out the windows. We can totally make it work in
Gainesville! I’m sure Renee would love to see Renesmee more
for a few years!”
Carlisle could not help but be sucked in by Emmett’s
enthusiasm, and he knew that eventually Emmett would find a
way to be a Florida Gator at some point.
“All right son, we’ll keep an eye on their scheduling, and
see what we can work out,” Carlisle said with a smile.
Emmett whooped with his success, and then zipped back
down the stairs because he could hear Rosalie grinding her teeth
as she waited for the tinsel Emmett was holding.
Carlisle returned to his book, and thirty minutes later he
barely heard the tiny steps behind him before she had her little
hands wrapped over his eyes. Carlisle laughed. “Merry
Christmas, Renesmee.”
Renesmee giggled and lifted her hands then jumped up
onto his lap and hugged his chest. “Merry Christmas, Grandpa
Carlisle.”
Carlisle laid his cheek on top of her warm head and
listened to her soft heartbeat for a moment, hugging her back.
“Where is everyone else?”

606!
 Renesmee pointed outside. “Auntie Alice took Grandpa
Charlie, Mom, Dad, and everyone else outside to show them the
trees. I snuck away because I wanted to see you,” she grinned.
Carlisle chuckled. “Well I’m glad you did because I
have a special gift for you.” Carlisle smiled as he whispered like
a conspirator.
“Really!?” Renesmee clapped her hands together and
slid off his lap, then hopped up and down.
Carlisle reached into his deep desk drawer and pulled
out a package with shining red paper and a red velvet bow. “Oh
it’s so pretty I don’t want to ruin it, Grandpa Carlisle!”
Carlisle laughed. “Don’t worry, that’s the purpose of
wrapping gifts, to enjoy destroying the paper. Go on, open it,” he
encouraged.
Renesmee smiled and pulled off the bow, then shredded
the paper with relish. Inside a red box was a small porcelain doll
with bendy arms, a blue dress, and curly caramel hair, just like
Renesmee’s. She smiled and looked up at Carlisle with dewy
eyes.
Carlisle smiled back. “You’re growing so fast, I don’t
know how much longer you will play with dolls, but I don’t want
you to miss out on the fun of playtime.” He put a hand on her
cheek. “I know this was a tough year for you, and I’m sorry
about that, love. I feel responsible…”
Renesmee stopped him by reaching up and putting her
hand on Carlisle’s cheek. In his mind she projected for him again

607!
one of the first messages she had given him as a baby: all of her
memories of his beautiful smiles and gentle embraces, every
time he made her feel happy and loved.
Carlisle covered her hand with his and smiled down at
his granddaughter. “Thank you,” he whispered.
When he started to remove her hand she lifted it back to
his cheek and started to project other images she had seen of
loving moments she had witnessed between Carlisle and all of
the members of the family. There was an image of Carlisle in a
cheerful embrace with Rosalie after she had fixed his Mercedes
and Rosalie wore a rare, unguarded smile as she hugged him
tightly; an image of Emmett glancing back at Carlisle with a
loving smile and shaking his head as Carlisle strutted away
proudly after he caught one of Emmett’s fly balls; an image of
Alice tossing food at Carlisle while she was cooking for
Renesmee and laughing hysterically at his droll reaction; an
image of Jasper jumping up victoriously and slapping Carlisle on
the back after he beat Carlisle at chess for the first time; an
image of Bella kissing Carlisle’s cheek after an evening at the
house before they left to go back to their cottage for the night; an
image of Edward embracing Carlisle soon after the confrontation
with the Volturi with a pained crease in his brows as he held his
father tightly and a look of pure joy on Carlisle’s face; and
finally an image of Carlisle kissing Esme very tenderly on the
house balcony just a few nights before when Carlisle thought the
rest of the family had been watching TV.

608!
 Carlisle was stunned by the images Renesmee had
shared with him. Not because they were unbelievable, he was
simply amazed at how blessed he was, and did not have all of his
wealth of love held up in front of his face very often.
Carlisle took both of Renesmee’s hands in his and
smiled. “That is the best gift I have ever received. Thank you,
Renesmee.” She threw her arms around Carlisle again. When she
let him go he stood up and put her down on the ground. “My
word, you are at least an inch taller than when I saw you two
nights ago…” He started to reach for the measuring tape but
Renesmee rolled her eyes.
“Come on, Grandpa Carlisle, we’re going to miss all the
fun!” She ran for the door but turned back to wait for him.
Carlisle chuckled and then closed the drawer, but
suddenly he felt the room spin, and he put a hand on his desk to
steady himself. He quickly glanced toward Renesmee, but she
had not noticed anything was wrong.
“Come on, Grandpa Carlisle! Hurry up!” she called and
then disappeared as she ran down the stairs.
She had seen him falter, he was sure of it, but her
innocent mind apparently did not realize what she had seen. It
was the worst incident he’s had all year. After the stress of the
Volturi confrontation the spells ceased for a few months. He
knew he had over exerted himself pushing his power out to the
entire clearing for such an extended amount of time. As he
relaxed with his family his body seemed to recover.

609!
 But then, in March his vision had blurred for several
seconds, and now the dizziness was back. Carlisle lifted up his
hand from the desk and found he had made a dent in the wood
with the heel of his hand. Carlisle cursed quietly; he was going
to have to be twice as careful. His indestructible body was going
to cause some damage if he could not control the spells.
Carlisle took a cleansing breath, and quickly rid his mind
of his shocked thoughts. He could not be reminiscing on the few
other times this had happened around Edward. Edward would
instantly alert the family, and interrogate Carlisle on a subject he
was not ready to discuss. He had to keep this from them, for just
a little while. He had to find some answers.
Carlisle stood up straight as he heard the family
approaching the house and Renesmee threw open the sliding
glass doors and squealed in delight for Alice’s efforts in the back
yard.
Then suddenly, the doorbell rang. Carlisle’s brow
creased and he flew downstairs. He was certain it was a vampire
before he opened the front door.
When the door swung open there was a young male
standing there. His clothes were worn and he was unkempt, but
most importantly his eyes were black. He had a look of
desperation, and he wrung his hands together.
“Carlisle Cullen, sir?”
Carlisle nodded, “May I help you?”

610!
 The vampire paused, considering his words carefully. “I
need your help. I was there, the day of the confrontation with the
Volturi. I don’t want to feed on… humans anymore.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~2058~~
Esme’s fingers jumped across the keys of Edward’s
piano striking the cords as Carlisle skipped his bow over the
strings. The lively piece was a gift from Edward; he had
composed it as part of his senior project in his music program.
Esme had recently sought lessons from Edward and now she and
Carlisle were a regular duet. They were planning to play the
piece for Edward and the rest of the family because they were all
home in Rochester, Minnesota on Spring Break and the Volturi
coven had been visiting since February because they brought
with them the first vampire to leave the Volturi Guard.
Zivon was Demitri’s younger brother. Aro had a habit of
changing entire families if one child seemed talented, as he did
with Jane and Alec’s family. He would simply turn away or
destroy any family members who were not any use to him. Zivon
was less powerful, he could mildly control a vampire’s thoughts
and actions, but when Aro found Jane and Alec he preferred their
direct submission tactics to Zivon’s subtle gift. His physical
prowess saved his position in the brute force of the Guard, but at
the confrontation with the Cullens his long buried compassionate

611!
tendency was unearthed and he was upset about the destruction
of Irina. He finally contacted Eleazar, and the Denali coven went
to Volterra personally to talk to him. They brought him directly
to Carlisle and Esme and his education had been a complete
success. He had never been happier.
Half way through the duet practice session, the front
door suddenly opened and Edward walked in with Bella, Carmen
and Eleazar.
“Sorry to interrupt, it sounded amazing, but Carmen and
Eleazar have a stroke of genius that I really think you should
hear,” Edward said with enthusiasm from the foyer.
Carlisle laid his violin on the piano and turned to see
Edward and the others walk into the living room.
Carmen smiled at Carlisle. “Eleazar and I are talking
about moving back to Spain. We want to act as liaisons to
Volterra for the Cullen family.”
Carlisle lifted his brows. “What made you think of this?”
Carmen continued. “When we were in Volterra we got
the distinct impression that there were several others, possibly
even higher ranking than Zivon, who also wanted to leave. No
one else approached us, and Zivon would not divulge names, but
we do not want any of them to feel they have lost their chance
permanently. We must help them, we must have a presence in
the Old World.”
Eleazar put an arm around his passionate partner. “In my
many, many travels across Europe I have met others who I know

612!
would be interested in hearing from me about you and what I
have seen. I knew more of the Volturi witnesses that were
present than you did, Carlisle, and I know others who would
have heard from those witnesses by now. There are many in
Europe who we can help, not just members of the Guard.”
Carlisle nodded. “I want to help anyone we can.”
Esme agreed. “In talking with Zivon about his
experiences I’m starting to believe that even some like Jane
might be saved.”
Eleazar smiled. “Yes, if she wished it she is not beyond
help. Her power is not to only to cause pain. She stimulates the
feeling of pain within the minds of her victims so you believe
and feel it even to the point where you can be locked up in pain
forever, should she wish it. She can’t control conscious thought,
but she can stimulate other sensations of vampires. For
example,” Eleazar lifted his right hand toward the group and
using a small sample of Jane’s power suddenly every vampire in
the room was overcome with a feeling of intense thirst, and
Carlisle realized that Jacob and Renesmee were approaching the
house because he was suddenly hyper-aware of any being with
blood nearby. Then just as suddenly, the thirst disappeared as
Eleazar dropped his hand.
“My apologies, it was the first sensation I thought of,”
Eleazar grinned.
Carlisle blinked. “That is amazing.”

613!
 Edward glanced from Eleazar and Carmen to Carlisle,
and he smiled at his father. “I think they should go.”
Carlisle smiled back at his son. He saw in his son’s eyes
how much he was starting to believe in the new mission of the
family, and now he was slowly stepping into a role of leadership.
But, he was still seeking Carlisle’s approval for every step they
took.
Suddenly, Carlisle frowned. “What about Tanya? You
didn’t mention her, is she going with you?”
Carmen, Esme and Bella smiled at each other. Bella was
the one who replied. “She won’t be going, but she won’t be
alone for very long.”
Carlisle was confused for a moment, but then he nodded
with understanding. “Zivon.”
Bella nodded and giggled. “He had some minor feelings
for Irina, mostly he felt sympathy for her regarding how she was
treated by the Volturi. But he has been completely drawn to
Tanya since he met her with Carmen and Eleazar. And, he
doesn’t realize it, but he has been unconsciously pulling Tanya
in and breaking down her emotional walls with his powers. She
is completely enraptured by him.”
All of the women sighed with longing for the early days
of a blossoming romance, and Carlisle smiled as he thought of
how much he seemed to miss when he was not paying attention.
“Carlisle, there is something else, unrelated, that we
should discuss while we are home,” Bella continued. “We’ve

614!
been talking to Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett for a while
now about… taking a break from school.”
Carlisle was again, surprised. “Really? I thought Emmett
wanted to go back to University of Florida again in the next
cycle.”
Bella’s laugh rang through the house. “Yes, well, he has
talked about it. But I think if you buy him a Bull Gator box so he
can see as many football games as he wishes, he will be
content.” Then she sighed. “We all really want to spend a little
time in the adult world.”
Carlisle glanced at Esme, and then turned back to Bella
and smiled. “What do you plan to do?”
Bella shrugged. “Well, we all have ideas. Alice and
Jasper have realized how much they enjoy working with Esme to
rehabilitated vampires who have been emotionally damaged.
Rosalie still wants her own children and working with Emmett
on his youth baseball leagues makes her happy. And I want to
apply for a PhD in genetics.”
Carlisle grinned broadly. “Planning to study interspecies
procreation?”
Bella shrugged and ducked her head while smiling. If
she were still human she would have blushed. “Maybe even take
a semester to visit Nahuel, follow the footsteps of Joham…”
Carlisle could see how much Bella had matured even as
he could still see the shadow of the insecure human teenager she
once was. He knew that this new direction for his children had

615!
started with Bella, and he wondered if his original children even
realized how much they had matured with her and gravitated
toward her. Carlisle even found himself thinking about clearing
his schedule so he could participate in her new chosen career
path and study Renesmee’s conception.
Edward put his arm around Bella. “And I will be
continuing with my musical studies so I can follow wherever
Bella needs to go. We both want to see what we can discover
with further research.”
Carlisle smiled as he looked ahead to the future of their
partnership, and he nodded. “I will let my colleagues at Mayo
know you will be applying to their program. And I look forward
to the day you come back. I’m sure Esme will have fun looking
for a house for you.”
Renesmee walked into the living room and everyone
turned toward her. “Did I hear you say that we are moving back
here soon?” she whispered hopefully.
Everyone turned back to Carlisle and he nodded to his
granddaughter. “It looks like the Denali coven may be scattering,
but we will be working together more as a family.”
Renesmee ran over to her parents and kissed each of
them, and hugged Carmen, Eleazar and Esme, then she finally
hugged Carlisle, curling her fingers into his shirt and gripping it
tightly as she held on to him and rested her head against his
chest.

616!
 Bella smiled. “Well, with Renesmee’s approval I think
we have a lot of planning to do!” She turned to Carmen and
Eleazar and they immediately started discussing how quickly
they could move. Jacob had just arrived behind Renesmee and
was munching on a sandwich he found in the refrigerator, so
Edward and Esme went over to fill him in on the entire
discussion.
Carlisle watched them leave and would have followed
but Renesmee was still clinging to him. He looked down at her
and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She was looking at
him with a sadness that he had seen in her face before. The first
time he saw it was the day of Charlie’s funeral, and he had
assumed that it was due to her grief over losing her other
grandfather.
Renesmee sighed. “I’m glad I’ll get to spend as much
time as I can with you,” she whispered. Then she released her
hold on his shirt, turned sadly away and followed Edward, Esme
and Jacob.
Carlisle stood frozen and his eyes were wide with horror.
The sadness he had just seen was from her fear of losing her
remaining grandfather. He now knew that on some level she had
remembered and realized what she had seen back on Christmas
day over fifty years before.
Over the decades since then, his spells continued to
decrease in frequency, but he still had several each decade. In the
last few years, however, as the number of guests seeking help

617!
with switching to animal blood had escalated, the frequency was
increasing again, and his senses were very slowly fading.
In that moment, Carlisle decided to rededicate himself to
working on his theory about what was happening. He wanted to
talk to Esme, but he would wait until he could give her a full
explanation. He resolved, however, not to tell the children. They
were moving in such a positive direction that he did not want to
do anything that would stop their pursuits because he knew they
would drop everything and obsess over finding a way to save
him; especially Edward. And Carlisle knew in his heart, that if
he was right, what was happening to him could not be stopped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~2070~~
Carlisle walked toward his Mercedes SX1000. The lean
flowing lines shimmered even under the fluorescent lights of the
garage at the Mayo Clinic. Carlisle had finished his evening shift
and was leaving to be with Esme for a romantic day together.
Their most recent visitors who were seeking advice on living
without human blood had gone out on their own successfully the
day before, so Carlisle and Esme were alone just in time for their
one-hundred-and-forty-fifth anniversary. Bella was still working
in the genetics lab so she would drive home separately. Carlisle
had ordered roses for Esme, one for every year of their marriage.

618!
He smiled to himself as he pictured the scene as he carried all of
the roses inside in his arms.
When Carlisle pressed his thumb onto the touch pad the
driver-side door unlocked, but then a strange sensation came
over him. The garage lights suddenly became dim and he looked
up thinking that the power in the parking garage was failing, but
as he lifted his chin he started to lose his orientation to which
way was up.
Carlisle tried to grip the handle but he lost his grasp on
the door. His center of gravity shifted as his head spun and
suddenly he realized he was falling. Desperately he tried to get
his bearings so he could catch himself and prevent his body from
cracking the concrete floor of the garage. This was the worst
spell he had ever experienced, and for the first time in centuries
Carlisle felt an element of uncontrolled panic enter his mind.
And then, someone caught him and steadied him at the
last moment. Carlisle gripped the arm of the person who had
caught him and hung on desperately. He turned his head and
tried to focus his eyes on the person who had saved him, but he
could not force his eyes to stay on the face before him. “Who…
who is there??”
“Easy, my friend. It seems that today I repay my debt to
you, and make my penance for deserting your family.” The deep
voice was familiar. Carlisle took a cursory sniff and instantly
knew whom it was.

619!
 “Alistair! Oh God, thank you. Thank you!” Carlisle was
so relieved his voice betrayed his emotion, and he embraced his
friend, his head resting against Alistair’s chest.
Alistair allowed the emotional reunion because he was
feeling deep regret for his actions nearly seventy years prior, but
he could only stand brief physical contact.
“Come now, I can’t work this contraption you drive, you
have to collect your senses, Carlisle.” Alistair swung the door
open and sat Carlisle up in the driver’s seat.
Carlisle felt his orientation returning as he leaned his
head back on the headrest and closed his eyes.
“Alistair, what brought you here?” Carlisle was
completely at a loss.
Alistair sighed, “You, Carlisle. I was drawn here by
you.”
Carlisle opened his eyes and turned toward Alistair, who
was now seated in the passenger seat. “I’m always at a loss to
understand the meaning of your statements.”
Alistair shrugged. “When did I ever know why I am
drawn to or away from some place? All I know so far is I arrived
in Minnesota, and I knew almost immediately that I had to find
you. The moment I found you, you fell to the ground and I
barely caught you.” Alistair chuckled, “It reminded me of the
moment I arrived in Rome, when you arrived just in time to save
me.”

620!
 Carlisle’s brow creased as he began to fully comprehend
what had just happened. Carlisle believed that Alistair was more
ruled by destiny and the will of God than anyone else that
Carlisle had ever met. Carlisle looked into Alistair’s eyes and
saw a calm in them that he had never seen before.
“Alistair, you have been pulled here to tell me something
again, haven’t you?”
Alistair smiled. It was one of the most genuine smiles
Carlisle had ever seen on his face. “What Didyme started, you
have finished, Carlisle. Part of the reason why I pushed the
Volturi to overthrow the other covens was because of Didyme’s
power of love and what I already felt she had done to change
Marcus, who was the leader of the Volturi at the time. I hoped
that she would have a similar influence on her brother, because I
knew Aro could be a problem. And Caius, I assumed, would
eventually leave because I knew he would never change. But all
of my grand plans for the Volturi fell apart when Aro killed
Didyme and took over as Volturi leader. I despaired at what I
had done. It’s too late for Marcus to escape, but because of you
the rest of the Volturi will now be able to make the choice
themselves. Things are changing.”
Carlisle nodded and smiled, but his smile faded as he
saw a sadness overtake Alistair’s features.
“There is more, isn’t there?” Carlisle whispered.
“I can feel it. You are… diminished,” Alistair frowned.
Carlisle looked away from Alistair as he continued. “Looking

621!
back, I recall that I actually felt it when you found me in
France.”
Carlisle still did not respond.
“And, I think I know why I was pulled away when the
Volturi came to confront you.”
Carlisle turned back to Alistair and saw him frown,
remembering that day.
“After I left you, I thought I was the lowest coward in
existence. I count you among the few vampires in my entire life
that I could stand to be around, and you are the only one of them
still alive. I was ashamed that I would give you and your family
up so easily.
“I was drawn back to England for the first time in
centuries, and I wallowed in my own self-pity. But soon after I
returned I was in London and wandering the streets, and I
realized I was standing at the riverbank.
“Suddenly, a vampire approached me. ‘Were you
transformed here?’ he asked.
“I said, ‘No, who are you?’
“‘My name is Arthur. The vampire who transformed me
lived here.’”
Carlisle was now sitting up and stared unblinking at
Alistair.
“I don’t usually suffer strangers, but for some reason he
made me feel more at ease. And I think he felt the same way
talking to me. He had that look I have seen so many times: the

622!
look of a vampire who is thirsty and doesn’t want to feed. But
we didn’t talk about blood.
“Eventually he left and said, ‘It was lovely to talk with
you, Alistair. Farewell.’”
Carlisle blinked. “And, did he… look well?”
Alistair nodded. “He looked perfectly well.”
Carlisle bowed his head slightly. Arthur was the same
age as Carlisle, and had been changed by the same vampire
under the same circumstances. The major difference between
them was obvious.
With eyes full of pain he met Alistair’s gaze again.
Alistair appeared to understand, and there was already a
profound sadness darkening the light in Alistair’s deep red eyes.
“Have you ever known a vampire who died naturally?”
Carlisle asked quietly.
Alistair nodded. “Only my friend, Aldrich.”
“Who was he?” Carlisle asked.
“The first leader of the Germanic covens. He stopped
moving, and spoke only with his mind. Finally, he turned to
stone. He was the only one I have ever seen meet a natural end in
thousands of years.”
Carlisle shook his head. “But that isn’t exactly like what
I am going through.”
Alistair nodded. “Yes, but you are nothing like any other
vampire I have ever seen before. Nothing like anything any of us
have ever seen before.” Alistair looked out through the

623!
windshield of the car and looked back through millennia. “I
became a vampire because I feared death. I suppose, the only
reason I have outlasted them all is because I keep moving, but at
what cost of lives,” his voice broke and he closed his eyes.
Carlisle’s natural curiosity and eternal quest for
information should have made him ask at that moment how old
Alistair was. But then he realized that in the end, it didn’t really
matter. Carlisle could see what living alone for thousands of
years did to a person: it made them mad like Aro, or it made
them despondent, like Alistair. Carlisle wondered how God was
able to endure an existence since time began.
Carlisle’s brow creased again as he thought about time,
and he looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers. He
looked up at Alistair.
“How much time do I have?”
Alistair shrugged. “If I knew the answer to that I would
be your God, wouldn’t I?”
Carlisle did a double-take, and then shook his head and
chuckled uncertainly.
“I don’t know if using your powers drained your already
weakening body, or if the power has given you strength your
whole life and both are now diminishing. You were such a strong
animal-feeder, I wonder if you would have lasted even longer
if…” Alistair shook his head.
Carlisle stopped him from completing his thought by
putting a hand on Alistair’s shoulder. “I think it is both. Do not

624!
trouble yourself with such questions,” he sighed. “Will you come
and say hello to Esme? She will be sad that she missed you.”
Alistair shook his head and seemed overcome with
emotion. “No, I think that it’s best that you are the one to tell her
all of this.”
Carlisle lifted a brow. “Alistair, will you be all right?”
Alistair was now laughing out loud, and that was a
sound that Carlisle had never heard. “Diminished as you are, I
still felt your compassion when you said that, Carlisle.” Alistair
looked up and closed his eyes. “I can already feel the pull on me
decreasing.” Alistair turned toward Carlisle and smiled, “I think
I will find a place where I can go and be still for a bit. Maybe,
later on, I will tell stories of my friend Carlisle.” And then, he
opened the passenger door and closed it behind him. He
appeared at Carlisle’s window a split second later and tapped on
the window, and Carlisle lowered it. “Tell the Cullen family I am
sorry I left, but that I was pulled away… for a reason.”
Carlisle nodded and smiled. “Of course.”
Alistair nodded back. “Farewell, Carlisle.”
Carlisle smiled again, and felt his throat close up
slightly. “Farewell, my friend.”
And then, Alistair was gone. Carlisle blinked a few
times to reassure himself that he was completely recovered, and
then he started the car. The quiet electric motor whined to life
and Carlisle backed out of his parking space and started the drive
home.

625!
 Carlisle stopped at the florist and they filled his car with
roses. He watched them put the boxes of flowers in the trunk and
could not help but feel a strange sadness seeping into his heart.
He began to wonder how bad things had become, how many
more years he would have with Esme, and all of the rest of his
family.
“What is the significance of one hundred and forty-
five?” asked the shop owner with a cheerful smile.
Carlisle smiled sadly and gave his usual answer. “I asked
her one hundred and forty-five times before she said yes.”
The shop owner grinned. “That’s one I’ve never heard
before.”
It will be ‘one hundred and forty-six times before she
said yes’ next year, Carlisle thought to himself, and then he
prayed there would be a next year.
Carlisle pulled up to the large duplex that he and Esme
shared with Edward and Bella. Rosalie and Emmett were visiting
Carmen and Eleazar in Spain, and Alice and Jasper had their
own house two miles away. The large common garage for the
duplex held three of the six family cars and Carlisle pulled in
next to Edward’s favorite motorcycle.
Carlisle got out of his car and assessed his balance and
energy. He felt fine. He left his briefcase on the passenger seat
and opened the trunk. A few minutes later with his arms full of
roses, Carlisle walked up the stairs to the main hall of the house.

626!
 “We’re in the kitchen!” Esme called. One sniff told him
that the “we” included Alice. He immediately became concerned
that she knew something.
When Carlisle walked into the kitchen, however, they
both squealed with delight and greeted him with a kiss on each
of his cheeks. Carlisle smiled and carefully laid out the dozens of
roses on the kitchen countertop.
“Always lovely to see you, Alice. What are you up to
today?”
Alice went to the cabinets and started pulling out crystal
vases and filling them with water.
“Don’t worry, I’m not staying long. I’m waiting for
Bella, and she will be home soon so you’ll get plenty of time
alone, you lovebirds.” She smiled back. Carlisle nodded and also
noted that there was no trace of concern behind her smile.
Esme put a hand on his shoulder and Carlisle started
slightly. “Carlisle… is that… Alistair I smell?”
Carlisle chuckled as he regained his composure, and he
nodded. “Yes, he came to see me today.”
“You’re kidding!” Esme’s eyes were wide with shock.
Carlisle shook his head and slid his hands into his
pockets and leaned against the cabinets. “No, he surprised me in
the parking garage as I was leaving the hospital.”
Alice was now looking intrigued at Carlisle. “What did
he say?”

627!
 “That he was sorry he left us before the Volturi came,”
Carlisle said putting an arm around Esme.
Alice seemed a little apprehensive. “Is that all?”
“He said to tell all of you he was pulled away for a
reason, but – he would not tell me what it was. He said that
would have to be enough explanation for now.” Carlisle turned
to kiss Esme on top of her head.
Alice nodded and frowned, but Carlisle knew that no
decisions had been made and no paths had changed with
Alistair’s visit, so Alice would not see any changes in the
currents she felt that might lead her to see anything new in his
future. In fact, all that had transpired was that Alistair had helped
Carlisle realize what path he was already on. Long before
Alistair arrived Carlisle had already planned to tell Esme his
theory about what was happening to him that evening when they
were finally alone. It was going to be an unhappy anniversary,
but he knew she deserved to hear it from him first.
Once all of the roses were sorted, Carlisle went back to
the garage to retrieve his briefcase and walked slowly up the
stairs to his office. He shut the door behind him and put down his
briefcase and looked out the window at the city. Then he lifted
his eyes toward the stars. Even in a larger city like Rochester,
Carlisle could see past the obscuring man-made lights all the
way up to the billions of stars in the Milky Way. Alistair
believed that the stars held his fate. Whatever ancient tradition

628!
he came from told him that the universe and its heavenly bodies
were the rulers of events on earth, including life and death.
Carlisle did not believe the stars ruled his destiny. He
walked over to the corner of his office and put a hand on his
father’s cross.
I just need a few more years, he promised God.
He was still standing next to his father’s cross when
there was a soft knock on the door and Esme entered. Bella and
Alice had just left, and Esme walked over to her husband and
pulled him close to her. She looked up at him and before he
could speak she put a finger to his lips.
“Are you finally ready to talk to me?” she said without
any anger or reproach, only love.
Carlisle felt his lips tremble and he broke down under
the weight of the secret he had forced himself to keep for so
long. She threw her arms around his neck as he sobbed and he
bent down and hugged her around her torso so tightly she
gasped.
For the first time he admitted to himself that he was truly
afraid. He had not felt fear this powerful since he was a human.
He had been afraid of Esme’s reaction for years, but she
alleviated that concern. And now, he felt the full force of his
anxiety of what was happening to him. But with Esme holding
him, whispering softly that they would face the problem
together, he began to feel it was going to be all right, and he
wished he had not waited so long.

629!
 They held each other until Carlisle regained his
composure, and finally he let her go so he could look her into her
eyes again.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice marred by
emotion, as he caressed her face.
Esme shook her head. “For what, my love?”
He frowned again as his brows creased. “I promised you
‘forever,’ and I do not think I will be able to give it to you.”

630!
 CHAPTER 25
~~2113~~

“Carlisle, we have another visitor,” Edward called up the

stairs.
Fascinating. I wonder how they know we have returned
to Forks? Carlisle thought to himself in his study. Lately, it
seemed that their movements were fairly well known to most of
the vampires on the continent.
Since the confrontation with the Volturi, they had
several visitors each year. Many had been present at the standoff,
but over the last thirty years others who had only heard of the
stories were arriving on the Cullen’s doorstep.
All of the Cullens were helping in some capacity, and
everyone but Esme was still keeping up a profession in the
human world as well. Esme maintained some of her charitable
work, but her primary job was coordination of the rehabilitation
and communication between their friends around the world.
Carlisle descended the stairs of the newly renovated
Cullen family home. Esme had added a large guesthouse with

631!
room for up to six guests that was connected to the main level by
a covered walkway. The second improvement was a new liquid
crystal glass enclosed level on the top of the main house where
the family could watch the sun, moon and stars under cover or
outside on a large sundeck. Carlisle had recently told Esme of
the sunbathed gardens in Volterra where he would sit and read,
and she wanted a place in their home with enough privacy
screening to prevent exposure, and a sanctuary where they could
be alone. In addition, spending time in the sun seemed to
alleviate some of his fatigue.
Carlisle patted Edward on the shoulder when he got to
the front door and was completely surprised to see Eleazar
standing there with Carmen, Tanya and Zivon. Carlisle laughed
out loud, and embraced his old friend.
“Why did you not tell me…?”
They all laughed, but Eleazar was the loudest as he
squeezed Carlisle tightly. “I think that would have ruined Alice’s
plans for a surprise.”
Alice ran up behind Carlisle. “Happy early birthday,
Dad,” she giggled.
“Alice, you have out done yourself,” Carlisle nudged her
chin with his finger affectionately.
Carmen hugged Carlisle next. “Arthur could not make it,
his coven is busy training vampires in the forests outside
London, but he promised to come back to see you next year.”

632!
She smiled sadly because she could see Carlisle’s
disappointment.
Tanya kissed Carlisle on the cheek. “Instead, we have
one more new addition.”
Carlisle turned his attention back to the door and Zivon
smiled as he stepped aside and waved forward a new vampire
and put a hand on the newcomer’s shoulder.
“This is our new friend, Timir; he came to us from India
because he wanted to meet you,” Zivon said cordially.
Carlisle smiled warmly. “Timir, welcome to our home.”
The lean and tall vampire bowed slightly. “Dr. Cullen, it
is an honor to meet you.”
Carlisle looked toward Edward. How is his mental state?
He looks a bit twitchy, like he’s malnourished.
Edward glanced at Carlisle and nodded. “Timir, why
don’t we take you hunting, and then we can continue our
conversation?”
“Yes, yes, it has been difficult for me to gauge how
often I need to hunt so I don’t feed on humans,” Timir looked
troubled.
Edward put a hand on their visitor’s shoulder. “We will
help you with all of that. Let’s go take care of your thirst.”
Carlisle stood on the balcony and watched the entire
group leave.
“Where did Dad go?” Renesmee joined her grandfather,
munching on a peanut butter sandwich.

633!
 “Our new visitor is in a bad state. He’ll be much more
focused when they return.” Carlisle had seen vampires in worse
condition, but Timir was definitely suffering.
Renesmee nodded and looked up at Carlisle. “Are you
happy to be home, Grandpa?”
Carlisle smiled. “Every time we leave Forks I count the
years until we return.” He took a deep breath of the crisp sea air
and then turned back to his granddaughter and put his left arm
around her shoulders, pulling her closer and kissing her lightly
on the forehead.
Renesmee put an ear to his chest. “Breathe out again?”
Carlisle looked down at her and frowned but did as she
asked.
“Has your lung capacity decreased again?” she
whispered.
Carlisle lowered his voice. “Renesmee, we should do
this later…”
Renesmee crossed her arms and frowned at him, “This
was the only reason I agreed: you promised Esme that you would
let me help monitor you.” Then she lifted her watch and said,
“Deep breath, and exhale, now.”
Carlisle took in as much air as he could, and she timed
how long it took him to exhale all of the air he could push out.
When he finished, he already knew the result.
“You have lost another five percent, I don’t like this,”
Renesmee’s brows came together.

634!
 Carlisle put a hand on her shoulder again. “I am still
more than able to work, as long as my reflexes are superior to
humans, I can still do some good.”
Renesmee did not look convinced. “This still feels like
your nervous system control could be declining faster than we
expected. I want to do another cognitive test on you after
everyone leaves.”
Carlisle nodded. “Agreed.”
“And once we reach the threshold –” she continued.
“—We will tell the family,” he finished her sentence and
looked out toward the forest.
Renesmee could see that he was acquiescent, and she
frowned again. It was almost as if she wanted him to be more
combative, but she knew as well as he did that their research
together had shown there was nothing they could do to fix his
failing nervous system. Eventually, that system would fail
starting with his peripheral nerves and moving centrally to his
brain. Once his nerve control failed, he would probably have a
little time of conscious thought but be unable to move
voluntarily and venom production would cease entirely. The
remaining venom that allowed his cells to shift around each other
would become static and also quickly desiccate until he froze
completely into a diamond hard statue.
Even though Renesmee had helped with the work that
led to the development of Carlisle’s theory on the manner of his
death, she still closed her eyes against the images filling her

635!
mind. Then she laid her head against his chest and curled her
fingers into his shirt as she hugged him closely.
Carlisle looked up suddenly as he heard a car approach.
He smiled broadly down at his granddaughter, and they walked
through the house to the front door just as they heard the engine
of a Jeep Wrangler being cut off, and Kate and Garrett were
already standing in front of the door before it had swung open.
“Carlisle!” they said in unison.
“My God, you look like your mother, Renesmee!” Kate
said as she hugged her.
“She looks more like her father!” Bella laughed as she
walked in from the kitchen and hugged them both. “It’s great to
see you both. What brought you this way? Last we heard you
were in China!”
“We were, but we were also wondering if our last recruit
from India made it here. And, I can sense him already,” Kate
said brightly.
Garrett smiled. “We also came back to meet with some
of the first nomads we talked to after Irina’s death, and speak to
their new recruits.”
“Everywhere we go everyone keeps asking about
Carlisle. Word has spread really quickly,” Kate smiled. “We’ve
been to nearly every corner of the globe in the last century.”
Garrett turned back to Carlisle. “But then Kate reminded
me it’s the old man’s 470th, and we were on the continent, so we
made our way back.” He punched Carlisle’s shoulder playfully.

636!
“Because you must be having a party, right, Alice?” Garrett
smiled up at top of the stairs.
Alice was dancing down the stairs with Jasper and
smiled sweetly when they all turned toward her. “Of course! And
it will be a great FAMILY party!”
“I would be fascinated to hear about what you have
learned about vampires in your travels,” Carlisle said.
“The most striking thing we have found among the
thousands we have talked with is the overwhelming desire
among vampires for better connection and cooperation. They
want what we have: family.” Kate looked at Garrett who smiled
and squeezed her hand.
Kate and Garrett toured the new parts of the house with
Carlisle and Esme and when the hunting party returned they
were up on the sundeck under the stars. There were many
exchanged embraces.
“Timir, I would introduce you but apparently you know
Kate and Garrett already. They seem to be responsible for
bringing everyone to us.” Carlisle smiled and turned back to the
two nomads.
“No, Carlisle, you are the one responsible for your own
fame. We have merely made sure everyone who wants to live
like you knows about the life you created,” Kate responded.
Eleazar nodded to Kate and Garrett. “Things are going
amazingly well over in Europe too. They are learning how to live
like us and are passing it on.”

637!
 Esme nodded. “Emmett and Rosalie spent some time in
Australia and we have new contacts over there as well.”
“Vampires around the world know your story. And they
should know they can have a better life. We’re starting a
revolution!” Garrett laughed out loud, lifting his fist as if he was
holding a revolutionary war saber and charging across a muddy
field.
Emmett and Rosalie were the last to arrive home from
their daily routine in the human world, and they spent the entire
evening together on the sundeck, watching the waning moon,
winking stars, and listening to Timir’s story.
His was like many of the stories they had heard. He had
entered into the change without a full understanding of the toll it
would take on his conscience. He was only sixty-eight years old
and he had been depressed for more than half of his existence.
They all listened intently. When he finished his tale, he fell silent
and looked around himself at the gathered family in awe.
“I have never felt so surrounded by… compassion,”
Timit said quietly, and gratefully.
Carlisle put his hand on his chest. It wasn’t until that
moment that he realized that the warmth in his core that he so
often took for granted seemed slightly cool. Eleazar turned his
head, but he wasn’t looking at Carlisle. He was looking at Bella,
who was stroking Renesmee’s hair as her daughter slept with her
head on Bella’s lap.

638!
 On Carlisle’s birthday the sun rose on another cloudy
day in Forks, but the tone inside the house could not have been
brighter. Alice and Esme were hard at work with the
preparations and were cheerfully putting the other girls to work
on the decorations and cake.
Eleazar pulled Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Timir away
from the television and over to the corner where Carlisle was
reading a medical journal. He spoke in a low whisper.
“We must plan our escape now, or else we will be up to
our necks in streamers and balloons,” Eleazar’s brows were
lifted with alarm.
Carlisle could not stop himself from chuckling. “I find
that resistance is often counterproductive, gentlemen.”
Jasper frowned. “We can’t go on a hunt, we went
yesterday.”
Emmett grinned. “No, no, that’s perfect!” He reached
over and picked up Carlisle by the arm. “Rosie!”
Eleazar shot Carlisle a questioning glance, and all
Carlisle could do was shrug with confusion. He looked over at
Edward and saw that he was struggling to keep from laughing.
“Rosalie! We’re taking the old man out!” Emmett said
loudly.
Rosalie was instantly standing in Emmett’s path and
tapping her foot. “Oh, really?”

639!
 Emmett stopped short but did not stop grinning. “We are
starting a new tradition. Every year we’re going to challenge the
old man to some hunting games.”
Bella appeared next to Rosalie with her arms crossed in
the same way as her sister. “You went hunting yesterday.”
“Games,” Emmett repeated with flare. “This is hunting
games! And if I’m lucky you may be looking at the new Cullen
champion of the one thousand yard dash,” he kissed Rosalie on
the forehead and then walked past her with a grin.
Edward snorted at the thought, and then took Carlisle’s
other arm, and also slinked around the girls. “We’ll be back later
ladies!”
Suddenly, Garrett and Zivon ran into the room and were
the first out the back door onto the porch. “We’re going with
you!” They heard the conversation from the kitchen and took
their chance for escape.
As soon as they were outside, the rest of the men zipped
out behind them. Bella and Rosalie shook their heads, and all of
the girls could hear the faint echoing laughter of all of the men
out in the woods behind the house.
They raced through the woods, leaping over fallen trees,
flying across small ponds without disturbing the water, pushing
faster and faster. Carlisle was enjoying the chase and the wind
through his hair, and he was elated that he was actually staying
within the top five of the group.

640!
 Suddenly, Edward, who was naturally in the lead,
stopped on a dime and turned his head: his nostrils flared and he
looked at Timir.
“Can you smell it?” his eyes were wild with excitement.
Timir took a long deep breath, and then he smiled at his
teacher. “Large felines?”
Edward turned to Carlisle. “Mountain lions.”
Emmett let out a howl and then they were off in the
direction of the scent Edward had picked up. They started their
usual game of who can gorge the fastest, feeding on several
species. Carlisle ran with Zivon and Timir.
“I had never thought of feeding with others, or making a
game of it,” Timir said with admiration. Feeding on humans
often became solitary and sometimes shameful as well as
traumatic for vampires. It was an entirely new experience for
many of them to see a group having fun.
Carlisle nodded but Zivon understood, being the newest
member of the Cullen family.
“They are a bit boisterous, but you can easily see the
family bonds,” he laughed as Jasper shoved Eleazar after he stole
a kill from Jasper’s grasp.
Timir nodded. “Yes, I can almost feel it from them, all of
them,” he turned to look at Carlisle.
Eleazar was far more proficient than Edward
remembered and Emmett was racing to keep ahead. They had

641!
moved on to a herd of deer, but after Edward put down his eighth
kill, he realized that Carlisle had only taken four.
Carlisle regretted pushing himself as hard as he had in
the chase, because now he was struggling against his limbs. They
simply refused to move as quickly as he wanted them to, and
then they started to tingle slightly. He was now following along
behind the group, doing his best to keep up, but then Carlisle
watched in horror as his vision began to darken, and then the
warmth in his chest suddenly faded, almost to nothing.
No…
At that moment, Eleazar turned toward him. “Carlisle,
what is happening? Your power feels like it’s… Carlisle?”
All of the boys turned and saw that Carlisle had stopped
walking and he was looking away from them.
“Carlisle?” Edward could hear the distress in his father’s
mind and started to walk toward him. Then he realized Carlisle
was leaning against a tree… as if he were fatigued.
Carlisle gripped the tree and turned back to his family,
his eyes full of pain. He had seen patients take a sudden turn for
the worse over and over in his career, but like many of his
patients, he never imagined that he could be caught away from
the house, and with no way to quickly explain to the others what
would be unimaginable to them. They were all looking back at
him with confusion. Then he turned to his first son.
Edward –

642!
 Carlisle’s last conscious thought was cut short as his
head spun, his legs went numb, he sagged against the tree and
then he fell.
He saw all of his boys and his best friend running toward
him in a blur as he was falling but Edward was the fastest. He
was there in an instant and caught his father before he hit the
ground.
Edward screamed his name but it was a distant, fading
sound to Carlisle as the world went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlisle’s eyes opened and he found Esme curled up

beside him. A quick glance around told him that he was back at
the house, in the hospital bed in his upstairs office. He blinked,
and realized that he had been unconscious. In that surreal
moment, he wondered if he had actually been dreaming for the
first time in almost five hundred years, yet he could not recall
anything… but darkness.
He immediately did a check of his condition, and it was
disheartening. He could no longer move his legs. His vision was
definitely failing, he could only hear muffled bits of the
conversations downstairs, and when he tried to take a breath, he
could barely reach half his lung capacity.

643!
 As soon as his chest rose and fell Esme sat up and
gasped when she saw Carlisle’s eyes were open, then she
grasped his collar in her hands.
“Carlisle! I was so desperate to have one more chance to
tell you I love you!” she whispered, and kissed him on the lips.
Her brow was creased with pain as she pulled back and looked
into his eyes.
“Carlisle, can you speak, or do you want me to talk to
them?”
Alice burst into the room and Edward and Bella were
right behind her. Carlisle caressed Esme’s face, then turned
toward his children.
“Would everyone, please, join us?” Carlisle called, and it
was obvious to everyone that his voice was weaker. His
decreased lung capacity was going to make speaking
increasingly difficult.
A moment later they were all gathered. Timir stood in
the hall just outside the door feeling like an intruder. Eleazar’s
sculpted brows were drawn together, Carmen stood just in front
of him, and his hands were on her shoulders. Zivon and Tanya
held hands behind Eleazar, while Garrett appeared to be
physically supporting Kate who could not even look at Carlisle.
Emmett and Rosalie stood side by side, Alice and Jasper were
near the wall, and Bella and Edward remained right next to the
bed. Renesmee was near the door but she was wringing her
hands anxiously, so Carlisle beckoned her to come closer. She

644!
sat on the edge of the bed and laid her head against his chest as
his arm encircled her.
Are they ready for this? Carlisle sighed.
“What do you mean?” Edward said, with a slight edge to
his voice. “What are you keeping from us?”
Carlisle bowed his head slightly. “About a century ago, I
noticed very subtle changes. My vision was not as acute. My
hearing was slightly less sensitive. And I started having dizzy
spells. Then about forty years ago, my energy dropped suddenly,
and I stumbled.”
Edward suddenly turned to Esme, he had just read her
thoughts.
“You knew? He told you that day?” he said with
incredulity. All eyes jumped to Esme.
Esme sighed and looked back into Edward’s eyes. “I
knew something was wrong long before he told me.”
Carlisle squeezed her hand gently. “I didn’t realize how
much I was being affected, it was so subtle at first. And then I
was researching for answers before I spoke to everyone. But I’d
never seen what I am experiencing.”
“So you’ve found nothing to explain it?” Bella’s eyes
were narrowed with suspicion. Carlisle looked into Bella’s eyes
and then dropped his gaze again, hesitating.
“Carlisle, tell me…” Edward’s frustration was mounting
and he gritted his teeth.

645!
 “I think I’m dying,” Carlisle said quickly. “I… I’m
dying,” he whispered as he repeated himself, as if softer words
would have less impact.
All of the vampires in the room were frozen like statues.
Renesmee pressed her face into Carlisle’s soft stony chest, and
her tears began to soak into his shirt. Carlisle looked to Esme,
and then released his hold on her hands so he could wrap both
arms around his granddaughter.
“Carlisle, that’s… not possible!” Rosalie gasped shaking
her golden ringlets.
“Rose, I’m not saying that my logic is infallible, but I’ve
excluded many, many other possibilities.”
“But Aro is older, still strong and…” Bella whispered.
“No, he isn’t,” Edward said with a hollow voice. “They
have all become more fragile over time. That’s part of the reason
why they increased the Guard over time, and Aro’s shield is not
just for keeping assassins at bay.”
“But you don’t look all thin like they do!” Emmett said
angrily.
Carlisle looked back at Emmett. “What is the main
difference between Aro, Stephan, and myself?”
“You feed only on animals,” Jasper murmured and
wiped his brow.
“I believe I have been experiencing a slow decline in
function, due to my diet,” Carlisle looked over at Eleazar and his
friend looked back at him with a furrowed brow.

646!
 “What evidence have you collected?” Eleazar whispered
harshly.
“We obtained a dismembered vampire leg from our
colleagues in Egypt thirty years ago and for the first time we
excised and tested the vampire nervous system. We knew that
my empirical data on my own function, which I had gathered for
almost twenty years at that point, showed that my nerves were
not conducting as quickly as the nerves of vampires older than
me who feed on humans. But, I decided that was not enough
information, and I had Esme and Renesmee assist me in excising
my lateral cutaneous nerve.”
Renesmee wiped her eyes and sat up. She looked over at
her parents who were staring at her incredulously. “I saw
Grandpa stumble when I was a child and I figured out that there
was something wrong by the time I was grown up. It’s why I
chose biology for my degree and later specialized in
neurobiology once we decided that was his problem.”
Carlisle looked from Renesmee to Bella and continued.
“We compared the composition and function of the my nerves to
the dismembered leg and we found that the venom conducting
the nerve transmissions in my nerves did not conduct as quickly.
We attempted to boost the conductivity by injecting venom from
other family members; we tried venom samples from the genetic
experiments in Egypt and Brazil, but the nerves would not accept
a venom donation. Then I tried all forms of nutrition and energy

647!
transmission to boost my own venom production, but all were
rejected except blood nutrition, as I have found before.”
“And what about human blood, Carlisle?” Jasper pressed
with desperate intensity.
“We tried,” Esme said quietly. “He did not want to do it,
but I forced the issue. I knew that none of us would be happy
unless we explored every possibility.” Esme looked down sadly.
“It was the final option, and it failed.”
Renesmee frowned as she looked at her father’s pained
expression. “We tried donated human blood and found that while
there was a mild measureable improvement in his nerve function,
it was not significant, and there was no regeneration.”
“I am certain,” Carlisle said weakly, “that while human
blood may postpone the inevitable, the damage has been done.
Any extension of my life at this point would be at a lower
quality, and would not stop the process. And I am unwilling to
explore how much donated blood I would have to procure to
extend such an existence. And it is unethical to take life saving
reserves from humans when this appears to be a natural process.
There is no cause to use emergent measures to save me, no
matter how much more good I could do.”
Each considered the implications of this news in their
own thoughts. Then Edward realized that Alice was pressed
against the wall and in her mind she was racing through dozens
of paths every second, searching and searching. She was starting
to go mad.

648!
 “ALICE! STOP! ALICE!” Edward knelt in front of her
and pulled her hands from her face and put her grieved face
between his two hands. “STOP!”
“I…can’t…I can’t see! Anything! ANYTHING!” She
sobbed. They all knew what that meant. Edward pulled her into
his arms.
“Alice, we don’t have to know,” Carlisle whispered.
Edward held Alice closer. He, like Alice, was not quite
ready to accept what Carlisle was saying. Carlisle recognized the
defiance in Edward’s face.
“There must be someone we can call, someone who
knows about this kind of thing…”
“There is only one person you need to call now.”
Carlisle said quietly.
“Aro,” Edward whispered as he read the thought in his
father’s mind.
Carlisle nodded. “Alistair has confirmed that I am dying,
but I believe Aro has seen this before, in other animal-feeders. I
need to know what he has seen and combine it with my theories.
He may know more about what I believe is happening, and tell
us… how much time I have.”
“Well, I don’t trust him enough to let him anywhere near
you!” Rosalie said, angrily. Emmett put a reassuring hand on her
shoulder.
“Rose, please trust me.” Carlisle’s eyes pleaded with
her. He turned toward Edward, who was still not looking at him.

649!
 Please son, I need to speak to him. We have unfinished
business with him that has been left undone too long.
Edward released his hold on Alice and stood up. “I’ll
call him,” he spoke with authority.
“Thank you, Edward,” Esme said quietly, her pain
unmistakable.
Thank you, son, Carlisle repeated, and noted sadly that
Edward would not look at him.
Instead, Edward turned to Timir who was standing still
as a statue at the door.
“How is this comforting to you?” Edward whispered in a
voice so full of agony that Carlisle’s brow creased.
Timir blinked. “Mr. Edward, do you have any idea how
many vampires would give anything to know that there is a
peaceful end to their existence?” He turned to Carlisle. “I wish
all the best to you and your family. I will tell everyone I meet.
You have changed me, for as long as I live.”
Timir nodded to each family member and left. The
gravity of his words impacted them all. Timir found hope where
they were despairing.
Edward bowed his head slightly, and Carlisle could see
just a hint of shame in his face, but then he walked out the door
without looking back at his father.
Bella watched him leave and turned to Carlisle and put a
hand on his shoulder. “He will come around.”
Carlisle sighed. “He has every right to be angry.”

650!
 Bella caressed her daughter’s hair and looked up at
Esme. “None of you owe us any kind of explanation. But, maybe
we could have helped you!”
Bella was still in genetics, and she had been working
with Carlisle and Renesmee to compile as much vampire
physiology information as they could from his old notes and
from new research over the last ten years. She now realized how
much they had been holding back.
Esme reached over and put a hand on Bella. “It was far
more important for us to keep the family focused on the future,
Bella. Nothing was going to stop this from happening.”
Bella frowned at Esme and laid a hand on top of hers.
“You did not have to suffer this alone.”
Esme looked down and nodded. “You are right, and I
will need you. All of you.”
Alice finally stood up again and walked over to the side
of the bed where Esme was sitting and put her arms around her
mother, Rosalie joined in, and Bella embraced them all.
The human valet in Volterra seemed taken aback that
anyone would ask to speak to Aro directly, but when Edward
gave his last name he fell silent.
“Just one moment, please, Mr. Cullen,” he said quickly.
Two minutes later, he returned, and instead of connecting him
directly to Aro, he was giving Edward the flight time of the
private jet. Aro was to arrive in Seattle the evening of the
following day.

651!
 Eleazar and the rest of the Denali coven sat with Carlisle
and Esme that afternoon. Carlisle spoke with them all in muted
tones. He was losing control of his diaphragm and it was getting
harder to take in enough air so he could keep talking. Tanya and
Zivon were quiet most of the time, and Kate sat in the corner of
the room in Garrett’s arms. The loss of Irina was still so fresh
that losing Carlisle too was nearly too much for her to bear.
Eleazar was visibly agitated at the thought of Aro in the
house. “Do you really need to see him?”
Carlisle nodded and spoke in bursts, taking short gasping
breaths in between. “There is more at stake here… than my
health, old friend.”
Eleazar shook his head. “What do you mean?”
“We did not part well a century ago… Since then Aro
has sat… in his cold citadel replaying the… confrontation over
and over… in his mind… He will not leave my family… in
peace when I am gone… unless he has assurances that… we
have no new designs… on Volterra.” Carlisle looked over at
Esme. “And he also needs to hear directly from me… that I
forgive him.”
Eleazar nodded, and laid a hand on Carlisle’s arm. “If
that bastard so much as looks at you the wrong way –”
“NO,” Carlisle gripped Eleazar’s hand. “This ends… in
peace, Eleazar… It must end… with all of us at peace.”
Eleazar nodded, and put his other hand on Carlisle’s arm
in acknowledgement.

652!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night Jacob arrived expecting a party and

called out to the family.
“Helloooo! This place is quiet as a t—”
Edward was upstairs standing by the bed with a
comforting hand on Esme who still had not moved. He shook his
head and turned to Carlisle.
“Renesmee has just shown him what happened. She and
Bella are bringing him up.”
Jacob followed Bella into the room with an arm around
Renesmee but when he saw Carlisle supine on the bed he
stopped short and looked away. Then he saw Edward’s eyes, and
the scene so clearly reminded him of his own father’s death that
he nearly lost control of his calm façade. Finally, he walked
forward and took a deep breath before he looked up again at
Carlisle’s half closed eyes. Carlisle smiled at him.
“Dr. Cullen, without you, there never would have been
any chance for peace,” Jacob said earnestly.
When Carlisle took his first gasping breath to speak
Jacob’s frown deepened and he had to blink away tears.
“Jacob, peace takes agreement… and action… on both
sides… You are the future… of our alliance.” Carlisle nodded to
both Jacob and Edward, and then to Bella and Renesmee.

653!
 Edward bowed his head slightly. Jacob also felt the
weight of such a responsibility on his shoulders. Then he looked
at the others around him, and he knew that Carlisle’s confidence
in them was not misplaced. Jacob pulled Renesmee closer, and
laid his other long arm across Bella’s shoulders, resting his hand
on Edward. The treaty had become a partnership, and now it was
a family bond.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Early the next morning, Alice’s vision changed: Marcus

and Caius were coming too. Eleazar began pacing at an
unnatural speed in the downstairs hallway. Edward was also not
at all pleased. Bella went with him to bring the news to Esme
and Carlisle.
Edward paced next to Carlisle’s bed, and wrung his
hands. “Carlisle, if you die, they may try again to take us with
them.”
“Edward, they cannot… Our family is too strong… for
them to overpower,” Carlisle said confidently.
Edward shook his head, “I don’t trust them. Why would
they come here without hidden protectors?”
“Alice says… they are alone.” Carlisle still did not
waver.
“They know how to fool her,” Bella said shaking her
head.

654!
 Carlisle did not respond.
Esme sat up. “Carlisle?” No response, Carlisle’s eyes
were blank and half open.
Edward leaned over his father and grasped him by the
shoulders, shaking him, “CARLISLE!”
“I’m here, Edward… My vision has suddenly clouded…
I can’t see you clearly…” Carlisle’s voice faded.
Edward’s forehead creased as his brows came together.
“Father, I – cannot do this without you.” Edward’s voice cracked
slightly.
Carlisle moved his head slightly and his pupils shifted
from side to side, searching for Edward’s pale face in the blur
before his eyes.
“Edward, you have known… for a long time that you
were… to lead this family if anything… happened to me…
Together with Bella… you have the strength.”
Edward nodded, and he finally allowed himself one
long-denied tearless sob.
Carlisle put a hand on one of Edward’s arms. “And
son… your family will be at your side.”
Edward released his hold on Carlisle’s shoulders, and
took both of Carlisle’s hands in his.
“I will take care of them. I will defend our family, as you
would have,” Edward said with resignation.
“Thank you, son… but I never doubted… that you
would,” Carlisle whispered, and then he smiled. Carlisle turned

655!
his head toward the place where he had last seen his newest
daughter.
“Bella,” she moved closer and laid a hand on his arm so
he would know she was there. “You are probably only… just
realizing how important… you are to our family.”
Bella’s brows knit and she shook her head, “Carlisle,
I’m not…”
Carlisle smiled again. “You carry the most… of my
power… of anyone in the family… You and Edward… will be
the leaders of a movement… that will continue to change
vampire society… forever.”
Edward looked intently at his father because he could
see an internal serenity growing in Carlisle’s mind. The
tranquility washed over Edward, and for a moment he could not
help but be comforted and the corners of his mouth turned up
slightly. He was very grateful that Carlisle had had the chance to
say the things he needed to say.
But then, Edward realized that as the peacefulness grew,
he could feel Carlisle slightly relax his desperate grip on life.
Edward tensed and then he unconsciously tightened his hold on
Carlisle’s hands and gritted his teeth.
“Not yet,” Edward whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

656!
 The next evening Emmett opened the front door and
Jasper stood next to him with an expression so calm even Aro
could see the danger behind his eyes. Emmett growled low in his
throat, until Jasper put a hand on his shoulder.
“Caius, your weapon,” Jasper said bluntly, holding out
his hand.
Aro did not even look back at Caius to reassure him, and
after several seconds Caius complied when he realized that Aro
was not going to intercede. With that Jasper moved Emmett
aside and allowed the Volturi to enter the house.
Aro, Marcus, and Caius drifted inside and immediately
up the stairs. Edward stopped them at the top landing. Aro
bowed low, and Caius and Marcus followed suit.
Edward seemed satisfied, and he led them straight to
Carlisle.
“He cannot see or speak. He wants you to approach,
Aro.”
Aro was unusually subdued as he drifted toward the bed.
Marcus and Caius stayed respectfully silent near the door,
though Caius did not miss the opportunity to shoot a livid glance
at Zivon. Eleazar and Edward both turned and stared Caius
down. Eleazar had no fear of walking into Volterra and escorting
any vampire out who desired to leave. And Caius knew that he
could not stop him.
“I don’t want anyone to touch my father,” Emmett
growled again. Rosalie put an arm around him.

657!
 Aro turned back and addressed the room, “I swear to
you, no harm will come to Carlisle.”
Eleazar stood stiffly at the foot of the bed and watched
Aro’s every move. Edward’s eyes narrowed and he listened to
every Volturi thought.
Carlisle was laid against a stack of pillows so that he
was nearly sitting up, but his head was tipped slightly back
because he could not hold it up. Esme was sitting on the bed, her
head lay on Carlisle’s right shoulder, and she held his right hand.
Aro nodded to Esme who merely looked sadly back at him as she
blinked away nonexistent tears.
Aro moved to Carlisle’s left and stood next to the bed.
He leaned forward slightly. “Hello, my dear friend. I am utterly
grieved to see you this way.” Then he lifted his right hand and
placed it on Carlisle’s cold cheek.
Aro’s eyes trained on Carlisle and he remained
motionless longer than Edward had ever seen him communicate
with anyone. The two unmoving figures locked in that moment
resembled a frozen Michelangelo sculpture.
At first Aro was watching every experience, every
thought that had passed in Carlisle’s mind from the beginning,
and then Carlisle watched as Aro focused in on one particular
memory of one of their first conversations soon after Carlisle
arrived in Volterra.
Aro walked out into the garden in full sunlight. The
ancient looked almost god-like as his withering skin shimmered

658!
and glowed. Carlisle recoiled until he saw Aro turn and smile at
his friend cowering in the darkness. Carlisle took a few brave
steps forward and was suddenly bathed in a new reality as the
sun’s rays warmed his hands and face. Fire could burn and heal
vampires, but nothing else in the world but the heat of blood and
the sun could warm a vampire. He remembered how the general
cloudiness of Aro’s eyes seemed to clear up as he smiled at
Carlisle’s wonder of the new world around him. And Carlisle
recalled what it was like experiencing the full intensity of the
colors of all of the flowers in Aro’s garden for the first time.
“It almost makes me think that vampires should be
creatures of the day instead of the night,” Carlisle said as he
looked at how the sunlight shone through a translucent green
leaf on Aro’s father’s tree.
“Where does this hatred of your own kind come from,
Carlisle?” Aro’s soft musical voice floated on the breeze but his
eyes searched Carlisle’s face.
Carlisle looked back at Aro and frowned. “I don’t
consider vampires ‘my kind.’ I have never wanted to claim that
identity.”
Aro nodded, as if he understood. “And is that why you
tried so hard to kill yourself in the beginning?”
Carlisle folded his hands behind his back and walked a
stone bench, turning back to Aro as he sat down.
“I tried to kill myself because I could not bear the
thought of killing a human.”

659!
 Again Aro nodded with empathy. “When I first met you
in Rome you said to me, ‘What other purpose could God have for
an eternal life but to help people?’ How could killing yourself,
especially one as extraordinary as you, have been the right thing
to do? Think of all the things you have done so far, how can that
existence be wrong?”
The corner of Carlisle’s mouth turned up and he shook
his head, “It might have been at the cost of my relationship with
God. I would rather be damned by God for killing myself, rather
than be damned for ending another life.”
Aro’s voice now filled Carlisle’s head as their telepathic
communication bound them in an unyielding grip. The entire
family still watched them closely, and Edward listened to their
conversation with fascination.
Carlisle, my dear one, do you still feel the same way?
Even now, that you have found an identity, somewhere between
being what you were as a human, and the vampire that you are
now, do you still believe that you should have killed yourself? Do
you truly think that you should die today?
Carlisle was holding Aro with all of the power he could
muster trying desperately to make sure his final message got
through.
I do not fear becoming a monster as I did when I was
newborn. I do believe that I have served my God’s
compassionate love to the best of my ability, and that my

660!
existence has not been worthless. However, the way I chose to
live my life is exactly why it is time for me to die.
Carlisle held Aro’s mind even tighter. Aro, if I can do
this, if I can overcome my paralyzing fear of what awaits me in
death, and if I can actually die, as clearly my body is ready to,
then I can show the world of vampires that we ARE still on some
level – HUMAN. Birth, procreation, dreams for the future and
natural mortality are the major ways that all humanity is
connected. We have the first three, and I WANT that final piece
back. I want them to see that we can have our humanity back in
its entirety, we can die in peace, and I want my life to stand for
that.
You once said to me that ‘the things that endure have no
meaning, they simply exist.’ I would rather die now and have a
life of meaning rather than just survive and stand for nothing.
Aro’s face suddenly grimaced with emotion. The entire
family saw it.
I wish you had stayed with me in Volterra.
Carlisle smiled. You knew I would never stay.
Aro frowned. I know, Alistair is rarely wrong. He
foretold your arrival, departure, and he foretold your death.
Carlisle’s brow creased. When did he foretell my death?
He came to see me just before we confronted your
family.

661!
 Carlisle realized that Alistair was not pulled away just to
meet Arthur; he was pulled to intervene with the Volturi
themselves.
Aro saw Carlisle’s understanding. He leapt from the
shadows of the private hanger at the Seattle airport just after we
landed. He tore off Demitri’s arm and knocked Renata across
the hanger before he grabbed me from behind. He had me on my
knees with the crushing weight of the endless years of existence
inside his mind. I cried out from the pain even though I had
already seen it once before.
Then, he whispered in my mind these words: ‘I have no
fear of my own destruction…He will outlast us… Do not destroy
what you have loved the most… You must ask him for
forgiveness.’
Then he let me go, and he ran off and melted back into
the shadows. I still held on to my centuries of bitterness toward
you for leaving me behind, so I dismissed his message and
proceeded to the encounter.
I was impressed by how far you were pushing your
power, and I could feel you trying to influence me again. I could
almost hear what you were thinking through your power. But
then, I realized I could see it in your face: you were weaker. I
thought this was my perfect opportunity, I could feel you within
my grasp, but Bella’s shield denied me and then Alice destroyed
my veil of legitimacy. As I resolved that due to your talented

662!
children we could not fight and win, I realized I had heard
Alistair’s words before.
You said to me, ‘I have no fear of my own destruction.’
Marcus said to me, ‘He will outlast us.”
My sister’s last words to me before I killed her were,
‘Do not destroy what you have loved the most.’
I understood what Alistair was telling me, and the last
phrase was his advice, ‘You must ask him for forgiveness.’
So I did, not even knowing what I was asking forgiveness
for. But now I do.
Aro put his other hand on Carlisle’s arm gently. Please,
forgive me for Raisa, and for hating your family who loves you.
Carlisle smiled. I forgave you for Raisa, long ago, and if
you promise to work with my family and never threaten them
again I will forgive the second offense. And I think you may be
wrong, that final message from Alistair was also for me. Can you
forgive me for dismissing your friendship?
Aro grimaced again. You never cared about me; you
only desired my knowledge and the history we had recorded.
Carlisle frowned. You never cared about me; you only
feared me because of what Alistair foretold.
Aro’s voice in Carlisle’s mind was pained. You speak the
truth, but I knew from the first day that you were changing me,
and while Caius resisted, as he still does, I did not. And now, all
I will have left of you is how you have made me more dissatisfied
with living.

663!
 NO – you will find your own meaning, purpose,
satisfaction. Work with them.
You realize that Bella is going to live longer than you
did…
I am counting on it…
I never thought the brightness of your inner power
would ever be spent…
I lasted longer than even Marcus predicted…
Because there will never be another like you…
When Aro finally lowered his hand, he bowed his head
slightly. Edward could hear his sadness that echoed with ancient
desolation and regret, which Edward could not have put into
words if he tried.
I’m fine Edward. It was a very enlightening
conversation, Carlisle thought faintly.
Aro did not look at Edward but lifted his eyes back to
Carlisle’s serene face. “He is declining quickly,” Aro said
quietly and turned toward everyone present.
“I consume blood that has fed my body better and more
efficiently than animal blood is feeding yours. I am a product of
uncounted millennia of evolution. But even I am NOT immortal.
And our beloved Carlisle believes that there is hope for animal-
feeders.” Aro smiled slightly at the entire family. “Carlisle is the
strongest animal-feeder I believe has ever existed, and I believe
his hope for all is justified. As you who were transformed by him
carry on his line, your future progeny will grow stronger.” Aro

664!
looked directly at Bella and she met his gaze. “Your
descendents’ taste for human blood will decline, and perhaps one
day you will live as long as we who drink human blood have
grown to live.” Aro ended hopefully.
“And what do you know of the fate of the rest of us?”
Eleazar said austerely.
Aro looked back at Eleazar and spoke to him for the first
time since Eleazar left Volterra.
“I have watched others before him fade in just over a
hundred years after they stop feeding on humans entirely.
However, I know some have lasted longer depending on how
long they fed on humans before. In the end, your fate is your
choice.”
“Aro, can’t you stop him?” Emmett said desperately.
Aro turned a knowing face to Emmett. “Your father, and
the Carlisle I know would cease to exist if I fed him human
blood, Emmett. He expects that you will treat each other with
that same respect.”
Aro’s deep red eyes held just a slight edge of danger,
and Emmett’s shoulders slumped as Rosalie hugged him.
Aro looked at each of them. “These are the alternatives
before each of you: to reclaim your humanity, and meet your fate
as it comes, because your experiences have all been different, or
to find your way as a vampire. Your father’s legacy is that he has
shown you all that you have that choice.”

665!
 Edward looked over at Carlisle, who gazed in his
direction reassuringly with unseeing eyes.
“He wants to talk to all of the Volturi.”
Marcus and Caius were already floating toward the bed,
and Aro had lifted up Carlisle’s left hand in his. Marcus and
Caius each laid their right hands on top of Carlisle’s, their
fingers intertwining with Aro’s as he served as the conduit
between the minds of all four vampires. Edward watched with
fascination at the re-enactment of a ritual that the four had
performed only once before in their last meeting of the minds in
Volterra two centuries ago.
It is time…
We will never be defeated…
The world has changed…
There is no defeat in living peacefully together…
Our time has passed…
It passed into an age of peace…
Carlisle smiled; Alistair’s mission had been achieved.
Aro turned and raised a hand to the family. “Edward,
Bella, your father has named you both as head of your family.
The Volturi will honor how you govern yourselves among the
humans as along as it does not conflict with our own safety.”
The family all exchanged glances. Edward and Bella’s
position as head of the family was not a surprise, but Aro’s
graciousness was. Caius seemed quite displeased, but resigned.

666!
A diminutive smile passed over Marcus’s face. Their ancient
fight for domination was over.
Aro continued, “We no longer claim jurisdiction among
your kind. We will maintain order over the vampires who feed
on humans, and you will lead the rest. We will contact you for
counsel as needed, and expect you to do the same.”
Edward put out his hand. “Aro.” The Volturi lowered his
raised hand and touched the center of Edward’s palm.
Aro nodded. “Thank you, Edward. I hope the Cullen
Family will accept the Volturi’s deepest sympathies.” Aro turned
toward Bella and bowed. “I look forward to our next meeting.”
Bella nodded graciously.
Aro glanced back toward Carlisle one last time and he
frowned sadly. Then he, Marcus, and Caius all floated down the
stairs and disappeared into the limousine and out into the dark
night.
The family all took up positions on and around the bed,
each one laying a hand on Carlisle. Edward continued to speak
aloud from Carlisle’s stream of consciousness.
Carlisle spoke of his origins, of his transformation, of
learning his new way of life, of finding each of the members of
his family, of finally finding happiness, of his joy at seeing every
one of them happy and fulfilled, and of his love for his only
grandchild.
He spoke of their alliances and friends, and about his
beliefs about the future of their coven, and about his wish that

667!
each of them would extend their families. They all felt the hope,
the love, and the peace in Carlisle’s thoughts. His final thoughts
were for Esme.
“He says, Thank you, my love, my love… forever…” and
then Edward abruptly stopped speaking for the first time in over
thirteen hours.
Edward tightened his grip slightly on Carlisle’s leg, and
found that his father’s once soft stony flesh was now rock solid
under his fingers. Edward’s face twisted with grief, and his cry
of agony echoed in the house, then faded to silent sobs. The
others were so shocked by his open mourning that they kept their
grief more private. Bella threw her arms around Edward’s
shaking shoulders.

668!
 ~~ EPILOGUE ~~

“Dr. Cullen? Dr. Cullen?”

The mildly impatient female voice was distant at first
and then became clearer as I shook myself out of my thick haze
of memories and looked up.
“Yes, Dr. May?”
“Your sister is on line two.” She smiled at my temporary
loss of composure and winked at me.
I was midway through my shift at the hospital and had
merely gotten lost in my mind as I stared at all of the patient
monitors on the large touch-screen wall behind the nurse’s
station which served as a partition between the desk and the
dictation cubicles. The wall had shifting windows of information
that changed every second, informing the staff of the progress of
the patients in the ICU.
“Thanks, Patricia.” I smiled back, and then slid my chair
over to the dictation area and tapped the nearest private
communication monitor. “Hi, Alice.”
Alice’s pixie face grinned at me from the monitor, but

669!
her bubbly voice echoed only in my earpiece.
“Bella, another visitor will be arriving tonight from
Volterra on the intercontinental jet.”
My eyes narrowed slightly. “Does Aro know?”
Alice nodded. “Yes. Apparently he was also a messenger
for the Volturi and simply decided not to return from his last
assignment. Eleazar knows him and he and Carmen both
vouched for him. Apparently, Esme knows him too.”
“Is she going to be there when he arrives?” I asked.
“Yes, she is here now.”
I glanced at the clock in the corner of the monitor.
Fortunately, Edward’s last solo practice session for the Saturday
performance coincided with my rounds.
“We’ll be home in two hours,” I said.
“I know.” Alice laughed and the monitor switched off.
Another visitor. This was the fourth from Volterra. The
shift in the balance of power had begun. Zivon had implied that
there would be an exodus but none of us really expected it to
happen. Aro, however, was not hurting for recruits. He was
actually adding to his numbers each year.
Volterra was bustling, but Eleazar and Carmen were
even busier. Kate and Garrett were being run off their feet,
Tanya and Zivon were planning to build a guesthouse like ours,
and Esme was continent hopping to keep up with everything that
was happening. She split her time between Spain and North
America mostly. Edward and I held down the fort in Forks.

670!
 We had to remind Emmett occasionally that this was not
a competition and our contact with Volterra was relatively open
even if it was infrequent. We had only had one contact from Aro
personally since Carlisle’s death: an extravagant funeral wreath
to be floated in the river behind our house where Edward
scattered half of his remains.
We had a public funeral at the house. Carlisle’s death
shook the human, werewolf, and vampire world. Guests included
his most recent medical school classmates and colleagues,
vampires from around the world, all of the Quileute tribe elders
and the werewolves, and a significant portion of the Forks
community. The entire backyard of the house was filled and it
was standing room only all the way down to the river.
Then the entire immediate family made their way to
Denali and we had a private funeral. Esme scattered the other
half of Carlisle’s remains in Mirror Lake where they were
married. We all stayed with Tanya and Zivon for several weeks
after that and leaned on each other for support.
Carlisle’s last will and testament included a large
donation to refurbish the Forks Hospital, which had needed some
renovations due to advances in the latter half of the 21st century.
The new wing, which included an expanded ICU and an updated
Emergency Department, opened just before what would have
been Carlisle’s 472nd birthday. I walked through the halls of
Cullen Memorial Hospital to my last rounds before my shift
ended.

671!
 When I entered the next patient’s room I had to glance
twice at the name. It was a young girl named Angela Johnson. I
looked down at her and she had the same slim build and long
dark hair as my old friend from high school.
“Miss Johnson? Where are your parents?” I said with
concern looking down at the small, fifteen year-old.
She stared at me for a moment as she took in my
magnetic vampire appearance, and then shrugged weakly.
“We just moved back here and dad had to go open the
house for the moving van, and mom is in the cafeteria.”
I nodded and looked at her chart. “Well, I think you’re
recovering from the appendectomy very well, so we’ll move you
out of the ICU today, and hopefully get you home soon. I bet
you’re sick of this place anyway, huh?”
She continued to look at me with awe, but then gave me
a tiny smile and I smiled back at her.
“Can you tell your mother to call me if she has any
questions?”
She nodded. I put a hand gently on her shoulder and she
flinched.
“Wow, your hands are cold! I can feel it through my
gown!”
I smiled knowingly. “Hospitals are always cold.” I
winked at her and she laughed uncertainly, and then I left.
I continued reporting and giving orders at each bedside
without needing much forethought. The team following me took

672!
many notes. If only vampire medicine were so comfortably
routine, I mused.
Renesmee and I were the only two who had pursued
medicine, and we continued our work on expanding Carlisle’s
book of knowledge on vampire physiology. With our growing
network of friends around the world we gathered everything
from folk healing from the nomads to controlled scientific data
from others working at the research centers in Egypt and Brazil.
Renesmee broadened her interests as she spent more
time with the pack. She took a break from neurobiology and was
currently working as a large-animal veterinarian. Renesmee and
Jacob also maintained the treaty with the werewolf pack and
were present on every conference call between our friends and
representatives around the world. Jacob had started a search for
other shape-shifters, and was trying to find any surviving
Children of the Moon.
After I finished my rounds I changed and walked out to
the parking garage as I checked my messages. I looked up to see
my husband slyly leaning against the car watching me walk
toward him. Edward had even more practice in medicine than I
did from his education before I was born, but Esme encouraged
him to continue to pursue his passion for music until he was
healed from Carlisle’s death.
I smiled when his lips turned up into a half grin and I
slid the thin touchpad that was full of test results into my white
coat. He leaned down for a tender kiss and then rested his

673!
forehead against mine and smiled.
I opened my mind to him. You feel calm today. It must
have been a good final rehearsal.
Edward chuckled. “You are what calms me… and makes
me crazy.” He leaned in for another kiss and slid his hands down
to the small of my back. I deepened the kiss, but then reluctantly
pulled away.
“Let’s continue this at home, shall we?” I lifted a brow
and then kissed him lightly one more time.
Edward smirked again and then cleared his throat as he
returned to business. He opened my door for me and I stepped
into the car as he started relating random news.
“Emmett and Rosalie want me to help coach the disabled
kid’s league tomorrow, so I may not be able to pick you up.”
I grinned. “Fine, then I get the Aston Martin.”
Edward growled and slammed my door, then reappeared
on the other side and slid into the driver’s seat.
“Hmm, you are renegotiating. Fine, then I get Emmett
on my team at our next vampire baseball game.”
I gasped with shock. “But we are playing the Tokyo
league in the next tournament! No way!”
Edward shrugged and tossed up his hands. “Then you
get the other car, sorry.” The “other” car was a brand new silver
Volvo.
I stuck my tongue out at him. I was going to tell Emmett
he was mine for the tournament anyway, so decided to let

674!
Edward think he’d won and I dropped the topic.
“Did Alice call you?”
Edward nodded and started the car. “I’m glad that our
most recent guests left, I would like to have a chance to talk
privately with our new visitor about what’s happening inside
Volterra right now. I really want to know what Caius is doing
these days.”
I frowned. “Eleazar has not been concerned about it, I
don’t think you should be, either.”
Edward’s brows came together. “I know, it’s just, I was
thinking about something Carlisle told me before he died about
his last conversation with Alistair. He believed that if Didyme
had succeeded in changing the Volturi before she was killed, that
Caius would have eventually left because he would not change.
And then Aro said in his thoughts that Caius had always resisted
the effects of Carlisle’s power, but Carlisle had no idea how
successful Caius was at that resistance. So, I just want to hear
from someone who has seen him recently, what is he up to right
now?”
My frown deepened. I had always assumed that Aro
would keep Caius in check. From the outside Volterra seemed as
formidable as ever, but they had been relatively quiet, and they
were gathering more vampires recently…
The phone rang in the speakers of the car and I tapped
the view screen. Renesmee’s chocolate eyes filled the monitor
and I smiled.

675!
 “Auntie Alice wants you to know that she has already
claimed Emmett for her team in the next tournament,” Renesmee
giggled.
Edward growled. “And she sent you as the messenger
because she knew I would not be able to resist you!”
Emmett walked by behind Renesmee and leaned down
to grin into the camera.
“Sorry guys, she’s blackmailing me!” His booming
laugh echoed in the room as he walked away.
“And Esme says that she will need you and Jasper to
help with our new visitor,” Renesmee said to Edward. Esme,
Jasper and Alice had taken on the hard work of rehabilitating
vampires who had been scarred emotionally by their centuries of
torment.
Edward nodded. “Of course. See you soon honey, I want
to hear about your new horse breeding project tonight after we
meet the new visitor.”
Renesmee smiled again, “Oh he’s here! See you in a few
minutes.”
“Nessie, we need to talk about the new information we
got from Egypt, too honey.”
Renesmee’s smile faded. “OK, mom. Bye.”
Edward shifted slightly, and his smile was gone. He
knew that only one kind of research was going on in Egypt: the
project exploring the degenerative condition that killed Carlisle.
It was one of the studies that Esme was funding personally.

676!
Edward was silent for the remainder of the drive.
We pulled into the lower level garage holding fourteen
of the family vehicles. Edward turned off the car, looked upward
toward the main level of the house and smiled.
“Jasper is ‘welcoming’ our guest.”
Jasper was conscientious in his role in family security.
Emmett and I were also on security detail as we were needed.
My shield continued to grow in strength and it constantly
surrounded those I loved.
I could see Edward struggling again with his grief, and I
could see the weight of his responsibility on his shoulders as he
stared straight ahead and made no move to leave the car. I
reached for his hand.
“He would be proud of you,” I said quietly.
Edward turned toward me and sighed. “I was angry for a
long time. And then I was ashamed of my anger because in the
end I was really still angry with God, not Carlisle.”
Edward sighed and shook his head. I already knew most
of what he was telling me, but he still needed to say it.
“I know why he didn’t tell us until the end. And he was
right, damn him, he always was right,” Edward smiled, and a
corner of my mouth turned upward.
“He already knew that I would have this problem with
God, because he knew me too well. We’d had ongoing
theological arguments over the centuries. Some of his last
messages to me were to help me with my spiritual problems. His

677!
final reflections weren’t for himself, they were all to help us.”
Edward’s voice broke and he took a moment to compose
himself, then he looked back into my eyes.
“He told me in his thoughts that he had come to believe
this – telling vampires about how they can reclaim their
humanity – was the reason he was changed. He found peace as a
healer for humans, and his gift has changed the connection
between humans and vampires forever; but he felt that God’s
purpose for him was… to bring hope to vampires.” Edward’s
eyes were so liquid gold it was easy to imagine they were full of
tears. “And I believe him.”
I stared at my husband for a moment because his face
was truly peaceful for the first time since Carlisle passed. Then I
smiled at Edward as my throat closed up, and squeezed his hand.
Long ago, when I was a teenager at Forks High School, I thought
we’d all be together, forever. And Carlisle was still with us.
“Let’s go meet our visitor.” I said with a smile.
We got out of the car and Renesmee opened the door to
the garage and ran down the steps into Edward’s arms. He sighed
and he hugged her a little longer than ususal.
She looked up at her father with a perplexed expression.
“What’s wrong, Dad?”
Edward shrugged and he smiled at her. “We were just…
talking about Grandpa again.”
She smiled sadly up at him and put her hand on his face.
Edward closed his eyes as he watched the images she sent him.

678!
Then, he looked down at our daughter.
“Carlisle was right, Nessie. You do have my mother’s
face.” He hugged her close again. “Thank you.”
I walked over to them and kissed them both on the
cheek. “Where is Jacob?”
Renesmee pointed up toward the main level. “Waiting to
talk to our visitor. He wants to ask him about rumors of the
Children of the Moon migrating to China.”
Edward turned his mind back to the people up on the
main level and his brow creased slightly. Without a word he
headed up the stairs. I shrugged at Renesmee and we followed
him.
When we arrived in the foyer we saw that the former
member of the Guard had long blonde hair past his shoulders and
chiseled features that made him appear to have been cut from
limestone. He was holding Esme’s tiny pale hand and was just
lowering it from his lips where he had deposited a gentle kiss a
moment before we arrived. Edward’s shoulders were tense and
he glared at Alice who was smiling smugly.
Esme took the vampire’s hand and walked over to
Edward.
“Edward, this is a good friend I met when I was visiting
Carmen and Eleazar. Etienne, this is Carlisle’s son.”
I smiled to myself as Edward forced himself to relax,
and he shook Etienne’s hand.
Etienne smiled at all of us and spoke with a thick French

679!
accent.!
“It is an honor to properly meet the Cullen family.”

680!
 ~~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~~

YborJen lives in Ybor City, Florida. She was first introduced to

the Twilight series by her sister and her sister-in-law. She plans
to continue writing after she finishes graduate school.

681!