And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness wasupon the face of the deep. And the spirit of god moved upon the waters. And god said “let there be light” and there was light.And god saw light. It was good: and god divided the light fromdarkness…But I wonder how did he know that light was good? What if earthwas covered with light and god said “let there be dark”, then…it did be the opposite.Surrounded with white, black seems to be my colour .Black isbetter for me, white hurts me, it irritates my eyes beside indarkness everything vanishes, even me…There are no clear boundaries or demarcations. It is all dark; pitch dark, deep black,where nothing can see you and you can see nothing. This pitchblackness seems to understand me, empathize with me, unlikewhite which symbolizing purity, goodness, and hope. It mocks at my emptiness, my inability to succeed, to complete my aims and goals. It nags me, this purity, goodness and hope …empty words.Like, the empty vessel makes more noise; similarly I sometimesfeel my soul rattling inside me carving to be a free. This bodily vessel doesn’t want to sail but sink in the depths of the world ocean.Some ask why; what is the point, my vessel has been robbed and is empty.
I hear these unspoken world everyday. ‘She’ is my only connection tothe outer world. Viewing, this dark world from inside her, I sense warmtears trickle down her cheeks. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her, I amthere. But as she closed her eyes pushing herself into more darkness, Imiss my alternative beats; the air calmly enters and leaves as if humming a lullaby, guiding me into a very deep sleep. Is she dying? AmI dying?Is this called dying!!!