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Handling Difficult People (Sample Book Summary)

Handling Difficult People (Sample Book Summary)

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Published by Samantha Johnson

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Published by: Samantha Johnson on Jan 22, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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05/11/2014

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HandlingDifficultPeople
andlingDifficultPeople
ByJohnTownsend,OMFLiterature,2006
Let'sfaceit,hardaswetry,noneofuscanavoidcontactwithdifficultpeople.Somepeoplejustseemtomakelifehardforeveryone,causingconflictandstresswherevertheyare.Oftentheyaren'tevenawareoftheireffectonothersaroundthem,includingyou!No,youcan'talwaysavoiddifficultpeople,butinlearningtorelatewiththemmoreeffectively,you'lldiscoverthatyouarebecomingmoreandmorethepersonyouweremeanttobe.
BOOKOFTHEWEEK:
OOKOFTHEWEEK:
INSIDETHISSUMMARY:
NSIDETHISSUMMARY:
readthesummary
eadthesummary
PublishedbyBestSummaries.com,7891WFlaglerSt,#346MiamiFlorida,33144©2008BestSummaries.com.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthissummarymaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,photocopying,orotherwise,withoutpriornoticeofBestSummaries.com.
 
TheBigIdeaWhyYouNeedThisBookWho’sPushingYourButtons?
ReleaseWhatDoesn’tWorkReclaimYourHappiness YouNeedPeopleforLifeandGrowthUseWordsWellKnowWhentoLoosenUpRelationshipsRevisited
WhattoDoWhenPeopleTrytoPushYourButtons
 
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WhyYouNeedThisBookWho’sPushingYourButtons?ReleaseWhatDoesn’tWork
Thisbookoffersinsightsregardinghowtodealwithproblematicpeople.Theseinsightswillhelpyoulearntorespondproperlytothesepeopleanddealwiththembetterthaneverbefore.Mostofthetime,thedifficultpersonpushingyourbuttonsissomeoneyoucareabout-yourspouse,aparent,someoneyou'redating,oraco-worker,neighbor,orfriend.Thereareallsortsofdifficultpeople,andtheycanbefoundinmanyareasofyourlife.Lifewithadifficultpersonislikehavingagianttraffic jaminyourconnection,blockingallthegoodthingsyouwantintherelationship.Butastheotherperson“getsit,”beginstotakeownershipofhisproblems,andthenbeginstochange,thejamgetsunblockedandthetrafficflowresumes,distributingallthegoodyouarewanting.Takealookatsomeoftheunsuccessfulthingspeopledowithbutton-pushers,whytheydothem,andhowtheycanstopdoingthem.It'stimetoletthemgo.DENYING.Youmayfindthatyouminimizeyourbutton-pusher'shurtful,annoying,orselfishactions.Youmaysaytoyourselforothers,“Hehassomanygoodqualities”or“He'sjusthavingabadday.Denialkeepsyourheadinthesand,wishingandhopingthatthingsaren'tasbadastheyreallyare.
WhyYouNeedThisBookWho’sPushingYourButtons?ReleaseWhatDoesn’tWork
REASONINGANDREMINDING.Probablythemostcommonerroristobelievethatthesolutionyouneedisallaboutreasonandlogic,ameetingoftheminds.Youthinkthatifthedifficultpersontrulyunderstandsthatwhatyouareaskingforisagoodthing,hewillcomplyandchange.REACTINGANDBLASTING.Thiscapacitytoreactandblastawayisduetosomedependencyyouhave.Thatis,youarelookingforsomethingfromyourdifficultperson,perhapswarmth,affirmation,orlove.Thenwhenitisnotforthcoming,yourespondwithdesperationandhighemotion.BACKINGOFF.Thisistheoppositeofreactingandblasting.Thereisapolite,hopefulpartinyouthatissomewhatconflictavoidant.Soyouwaitpolitelyuntilthebutton-pusherseestheerrorsofhiswaysandcomestoyoutohelphimchange.FEELINGRESPONSIBLE.Takingtoomuchresponsibilityfortheproblemalsohappenswhenyouputyourselfinchargeofthedifficultperson'schoicesandtheoutcome.Thisisoftenduetosomelackofpersonaldefinitionandseparateness.ENABLING.Ifyouareenablingyourbutton-pusher,youmaythinkyouarecaring,butineffectyouarehatinghim.THREATENINGWITHOUTFOLLOW-UP.Whenyoudeliveremptyorinconsistentthreats,youaretrainingyourdifficultpersontoignoreyou.Soifyoubark,bepreparedtobite.Ifyouaren't,getyourselfamuzzle!GIVINGUPTOOSOON.Thisisthe“onetimeshoulddoitapproach,thehopeandexpectationthatoneappeal,oroneconfrontationorinvitationorthreatorconsequence,shouldbeenough.
IndestructibleSelf-BeliefbyFionaHarrold
ndestructibleSelf-BeliefbyFionaHarrold
 
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HandlingDifficultPeople,byJohnTownsend
andlingDifficultPeople,byJohnTownsend
 
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Author:
John Townsend
Publisher:
OMF Literature
DateofPublication:
2006
ISBN:
978-971-0495-19-1
123pages
 ABOUTTHEBOOK:
BOUTTHEBOOK:
ReclaimYourHappiness
Oneofthemostpowerfulprinciplestohelpyoubegintoseechangeinyourrelationshipwithadifficultpersoninvolvesreclaimingcontroloveryourownhappiness.
OwnYourLife.
Getinvolvedinwhateverwasgoodandmeaningfulbeforetheproblemwithyourbutton-pusherbegan.Plugintopeoplewhowillempathizebutwhoalsoletyouknowtheywantamorerobustrelationshipwithyouthanjustproblem-solving.
DependontheRightPeople.
Thesolutionistoendyourdependencyuponthebutton-pusherandplaceitinsteadwithpeoplewhocanfulfilyourneedsforaffirmation,empathy,structure,andreality.
FaceYourFears.
Facethefearsandbecomeanewperson.Beinchargeofyourlife,insteadofwaitingforadifficultpersontochangebeforeyouhavealife.
ReclaimYourHappiness
YouNeedPeopleforLifeandGrowth
Relationshipsprovidevaluablesupport,whetheryouaredealingwithadifficultpersonornot.Thesesupportsarelikeyourcomputer'soperatingsystem,thefoundationthatmakeseverythingrun.
 Acceptance.
Youneedpeopleinyourlifewhodon'trequireyoutohaveitalltogetherinordertobeconnectedandsafe.
Understanding.
Ithelpsthatsomeonetruly“gets”yourexperience.
Feedback.
Askforhelptogrowasapersonanddon'tresistanyauthenticfeedback.Inadditiontopeoplewhocanprovidethesupportslistedabove,youalsoneedotherthingsfrompeoplewillingtohelpyounavigateyoursituationwithabutton-pusher.Hereiswhattolookfor:
Normalization.
Thisistheabilitytoconveyasensethatyouarenotaberrant,different,orbadforhavingabutton-pusher.Yourlifeisdifficult,andthat'sthewaythingsare.
Wisdom.
Definedasthecapacitytoliveskilfully,wisdomprovidesthepathyouneed.Peoplewithwisdomcandirect,guide,correctandprovideinsightforyouaboutyoursituation.
Experience.
Role-playingwithpeopleinyoursupportsystemgivesyouexperienceandconfidence.
YouNeedPeopleforLifeandGrowth
HandlingDifficultPeople,byJohnTownsend
andlingDifficultPeople,byJohnTownsend

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