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I put on my robe and wizards hat

I put on my robe and wizards hat



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Published by El 13

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Published by: El 13 on Apr 18, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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This is hilarius hope you think so to. I got it off of another forum:
Cyber Sex Gone Wrong
Found this on another forum. It's pretty funny:----------------------------------------------------------------------So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is: bloodninja:Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?BritneySpears14:Aight. bloodninja:Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.BritneySpears14:I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja:Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.BritneySpears14:Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja:Me too baby.BritneySpears14:I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja:I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.BritneySpears14:Hey... bloodninja:I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.BritneySpears14:Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja:I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.BritneySpears14:You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja:Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja:I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.BritneySpears14:Don't ever message me again you piece of shit. bloodninja:Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robotsas flaming piles of metal. bloodninja:King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot SocialistRepublics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja:You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja:Baby?Yeah it was pretty sweet.----------------------------------------------------------------------This one was good. bloodninja:Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3:thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja:A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3:haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3:i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja:I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3:haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3:i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja:Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3:No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja:Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
 j_gurli3:stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja:It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja:I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3:thats it. bloodninja:Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is thelast thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspendedin the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja:Goddam am I hard now.----------------------------------------------------------------------This kinda sucked.BritneySpears14:Ok, are you ready?eminemBNJA:Aight, yeah I'm ready.BritneySpears14:I like your music Em... Tee hee.eminemBNJA:huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.BritneySpears14:Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.BritneySpears14:I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.eminemBNJA:Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.BritneySpears14:What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.eminemBNJA:Oh shitBritneySpears14:I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending mekiddie porn you f*ck up.eminemBNJA:Oh shiteminemBNJA:damn I gotta write down your names or something----------------------------------------------------------------------Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah. bloodninja:Wanna cyber?Katie_007:Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja:What like gardening an shit?Katie_007:Yeah, something like that. bloodninja:Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja:You bend over to harvest your radishes.(pause)Katie_007:is that it? bloodninja:You water your tomato patch. bloodninja:Are you ready for my fresh produce?Katie_007:I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexyfor me?(pause) bloodninja:I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja:I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.Katie_007:Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja:my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja:Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.Katie_007:... bloodninja:My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warmand sticky cauliflower of love.Katie_007:What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja:Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now
you can't see. Bitch.Katie_007:whatever.----------------------------------------------------------------------Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just boughtfrom Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of  barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.Sweetheart:I want you.Would you like to screw me?Wellhung:OK Sweetheart:We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser andnight table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins tofondle your huge, swelling bulge.Wellhung:I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.Sweetheart:I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.Wellhung:Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.Sweetheart:I'm moaning softly.Wellhung:I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.Sweetheart:I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your  bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.Wellhung:My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.Sweetheart:That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.Wellhung:I'll pay for it.Sweetheart:Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.Wellhung:I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?Sweetheart:I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.Wellhung:How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.Sweetheart:I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.Wellhung:I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!Sweetheart:I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.Wellhung:I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.Sweetheart:What?Wellhung:I'm so sorry. Really.Sweetheart:I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.Wellhung:I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.Sweetheart:OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.Wellhung:I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!Sweetheart:I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.Wellhung:I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... waita minute.Sweetheart:What's the matter?Wellhung:I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.Sweetheart:Are you OK?Wellhung:I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.Sweetheart:Can I help?Wellhung:I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup.Where do you keep your cups?Sweetheart:In the cabinet to the right of the sink.Wellhung:I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.Sweetheart:Come back to me, lover.

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