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1Eddie Saylor Dr. Rachel E. WilliamsCO 330: Communication Theory16 April 2008Social Penetration TheoryOne of the most profound examples of interpersonal relations, human closeness, intimacy, andemotional bonding that can be seen, evaluated, and used is in a new born and its mother bonding minutes after birth. Babies that are born in a hospital are typically returned to their mothers shortly after birth to strengthen their connection. This alone can attest to the weightysubstance of the need for interaction. Communication is innate within every human being; andintimacy is a fundamental characteristic of many interpersonal relationships. Within the newrelationship the mother discloses herself to her new born in soft gentle calming words andsounds of affection as well passionate caresses to woo the child, soon after the child usuallyresponds or learn to respond and recognize the intentions, meanings, and verbal cues of themother. This communication with the child demonstrates the essence self disclosure undilutedand unrestrained, it is self disclosure in its purest and absolute condition. Interpersonalcommunication is inescapable, we cannot not communicate. The new born child communicateswith its mother as the mother communicates through sound and tone of voice, gesture, andfacial expression. In this paper I present the mother and child as a model of interpersonalrelationships to demonstrate the necessity of interpersonal relations and communication.Social Penetration is basically the study of the development of relationships and howthey penetrate deeper and deeper into private and personal matters. The first assumption of thistheory is relationships progress from nonintimate to intimate. This assumption explains thatinterpersonal communication at first is initially superficial and as communication continues it

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2 becomes intimate based on the persons involved and their intentions. Another assumptionstates that the development of relationships are generally systematic. This systematicdevelopment the second assumption of SPT according to Altman and Taylor exposessusceptibilities and apprehensions, so trust has to be developed along the way just as the childdevelops trust in the mother in the new intimate and interpersonal relationships so do we haveto develop trust in order to move from non intimate to intimate. This assumption alludes to theidea that relationships must follow some kind of path or theme. The third assumptions statesthat relational development includes depenetration and dissolution as well meaning that it willnot remain idle or inactive, it will either progress into something or noting. The Fourth is thatself disclosure is the core of relationship development.Interpersonal relationships are also based on need just as the mother need the child andthe child its mother. It is safe to say that a relationship is a reciprocated filling of needs, thechild fills the mother’s need to nurture and the child’s need is filled by being nurtured.Remembering as stated before this relationship between mother and child demonstratesinterpersonal relations in its plainest form because of the two are in essence make plain their communication and the intention is clear. When we parallel this to the relationship of a manand women we have much more to consider. The stages of the social penetration process arethe orientation, exploratory affective exchange, affective exchange, and stable exchange. Dr.Mark Knapp author of Interpersonal Communication and Human Relationships has what isconsidered one of the most popular models of relationship development and is explained in fivestages; Initiation, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating, and Bonding. According to Dr.Knapp the Initiation stage is usually very short and the persons involved demonstrates concernwith making good impressions, similar to the first orientation stage of Altman an Taylor’s first

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3stage that states the interactions are superficial and only bits of information are revealed. HisExperimenting stage the individuals ask questions about each other parallel to the ExploratoryAffective Exchange, the stage of social penetration that results in the emergence f our personality to others. Interestingly this stage in Altman and Taylor’s SPT and Dr. Knapp’sExperimenting stage compliments each other because asking questions about each other mayresult in the emergence of our true self. In Dr. Knapp’s third stage Intensifying, self disclosure becomes more evident and when compared to SPT’s process Affective Exchange theinteractions are more free and casual and it represents a further commitment and theyunderstand each other’s non verbal communication better. This Affective Exchange can onlyhappen when they understand each other on a somewhat intimate level. A mother canunderstand a her child’s cry because of her care and constant involvement with the her child.So again the stages from Dr. Knapp and of the SPT work with each other. His Integrating stageis when the individuals become a pair and are recognized as a couple compared to SPT’s Stableexchange is honesty, intimacy, and open expression of thought. Dr. Knapp goes a step further by including marriage in his final stage the Bonding Stage.Social Penetration Theorist believe that although self disclosure can lead to moreintimate relationships, it can leave one or more persons vulnerable as well and most at thisstage would prefer to avoid embarrassment and vulnerability it is termed as face saving in theFace Negotiating Theory by Stella Ting-Toomey a theory we will get into later.Richard West and Lynn Turner stated on page 3 in their book Introduction toCommunication Theory that communication depends on our ability to understand each other, inother words communication is useless if the message is not understood by the receiver or recipient. A relevant question would be if communication relies on our ability to understand each