IntroductIon
We’re DaDs,not MoMs
There was a time when we made too much of the dif-
ferences between men and women. And women usually
suffered. Now our culture has worked double time to get
us to believe there are no differences between the sexes.
For example, some point to the fact that the DNA of men
and women differs by only 1 to 2 percent. This doesn’tsound like much, until you realize that this is the same
percentage of difference between women and female
chimpanzees. (My wife didn’t feel particularly blessed
when I enthusiastically shared this fact with her.)
8
FIve SecretS Great dadS Know
Women and men differ physically, emotionally,
and psychologically. Mothers possess a greater ability
to understand infants and children; they are more able
to “distinguish between a child’s cry of hunger and a
cry of pain.”
1
Mothers release the polypeptide hormone
oxytocin
during pregnancy and breast-feeding, causing
them to be more interested in bonding with children
and engaging in nurturing behavior.
Fathers, by contrast, excel when it comes to discipline,
play, and exhorting their children to embrace life’s chal-
lenges. Physical play is far more important than most of usrealize, promoting “social skills, intellectual development,and a sense of self-control.”
2
A father’s playful side teaches
children how to regulate their feelings and behavior as
they interact with others. Children who roughhouse withtheir fathers usually learn quickly that biting, kicking, and
other such actions are not acceptable.Fathers are more likely than mothers to encourage
their children to take up difficult tasks, seek out fresh
experiences, and endure pain and hardship without cav-
ing. “The bottom line is that fathers excel in teaching
their children the virtues of fortitude, temperance, andprudence for life outside their family.”
3
I monitor what my kids are thinking, whether they need protection,
i h ys hy’ sgglig, h I hlp hm ih hi
difficulties. It is not my nature to keep track of clothes the way my
if s, I’m b h my .
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