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Anarca Islam(s)

Anarca Islam(s)

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Published by: gogo56781 on Jan 31, 2010
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01/17/2013

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 Anarca Islam(s)
War of Dreams: Becoming(s) of a Redeemed Circle A with an Eye and a Redeemed Eye with a Circle A
 
Written By
Mohamed Jean Veneuse
 
 1
 Acknowledgments:
To every being mentioned & never mentioned with a name: How can one speak of Acknowledgments? How can one pretend to summarize lives and their effects on I? How am I to deliver Eulogy after Eulogy inthe fake gesture that in such deliveries, in such work on work that has already been given and appropriated by me, someway and somehow, that I absurdly could be regarded as returning a payment, even if partial, of the debt that I owe others? Somehow I am expected to hierarchically do this, to act as this authority figurecalculating whom and whom not to acknowledge, who and whom are relevant?! No! The energy that I could spend in lying and deceiving others and myself leaves me abandoned, left only with one possession:my intentions. Intentions that if I could I would name those met, those never met, those I will meet and those whom I shall never meet. But how can I? There is infinite debt here at work, more than one can fathom and mention. An infinite debt, in admiration for those, who in my mind, have given and entrusted  parts of themselves to me; I have forfeited my infinite debts to God because you have all left me trembling.For how can I not be left trembling if “I am sacrificing and betraying at every moment all my other obligations: my obligations to the other others whom I know or don't know, the billions of my fellows(without mentioning the animals that are even more other others than my fellows), my fellows who aredying of starvation or sickness. I betray my fidelity or my obligations to my fellow citizens, to those whodon't speak my language and to whom I neither speak or respond, to each of those who listen or read, and to whom I neither respond nor address myself in the proper manner, that is, in a singular manner (this is for the so-called public space to which I sacrifice my so-called private space), thus also to those I love in private, my own, my family” (Derrida)
.
 
To Eric: My tongue betrayed my intentions solely once…you have offered me infinite hospitality …and it is
 finitely
for that …I owe you infinite debt.To Sean: A friend, a mentor, whom I have come to enjoy from the meanings of the word freedom. Youmade me discover how one is capable of stuttering it for what remains of one’s life…I owe you infinitedebt.To Sajida: I am told that without commitment, love becomes a friendship, an economy of utility andperhaps even a testament to the impossibility of enduring the experience of earthly pure love. Initially Ipresumed mourning had commenced but discovered that my mourning has yet to be given wings. DearestSajida, You need to know that your love gave me tragic wisdom particularly with what now flows throughmy life…
For how can one have anticipated there to be a love left like this?
I will always sincerely mournthat it wasn't enough with you…for that was my love to you…and I thank you for it is before I had come toknow your name that…I owed you infinite debt.To Marwa: When you told me we were always strangers…I embarked upon a voyage where you werephysically…I never felt that you were so private within me as much as I did upon taking that voyage to thedestination in which you chose to reside…a destination, for I, filled still with horrors…What I discoveredthough was that despite the horrors, all I needed to know, even if I could not see or speak to you, was thatyou were physically there…I never lost hope…I owe you infinite debt.To Richard: You taught me the economy and rhetoric of language. You spoke to me and in mydirections. In truth, for I, in asylums were lab-coats are prominent, you abandoned yours. In truth, Youhave shown me how to make a very thin file from a sledge hammer…and if the reader paused for a momentand only a moment they would understand that I wrote for You and I…
 Nous
…I owe you infinite debt.
 
 2To I: Do you see a reason for yourself? Yes. I am told that like Bartleby I am too smooth for anyone tobe able to hand any particularity on me. I am no one. I am told that I do nothing but take walks, yet amcapable of taking them anywhere, and without moving. I am told that I neither refuse nor accept advances;that I advance only to withdraw upon advancing, barely exposing myself in the retreat and advance. I wasinformed that my formula is such that I do not permit roots to grow or crops to carve out a kind of domesticspace for others and me to reside in. Perhaps because they, these domestic spaces, these tills of land,continue declaring and proclaiming themselves, at least in my perception, rightly or wrongly, as foreign.Perhaps I have said everything, exhausting language in the process and so I wander. Perhaps the intensityof domestication is insufficient to hold me down, or that I see my duty merely to introduce and beintroduced to foreign language constantly; a pure outsider of sorts, to whom no social position could beattributed. But perhaps, just perhaps, that a reason behind my distancing myself from everything else, savemy sporadic insurrectionary disruptions in the lives of others, is not that I lack a commitment to others.Rather that I know now how often parts of myself have betrayed and continue to betray other parts of myself. And so it is that I have come to the realization relatively recently that I only came here, lived andwill die to affirm and testify, to whomever chooses to see, not for my name, for I am no one, but that I had,throughout my whole life and throughout all of my voyages, but a single possession; good intentions.
Thisresurgence of Islam(s) - my faith- denoted a leap forward… & was never a return to the supposedly primitive cube house- the Ka’ba…
To Anarchists, Muslims/Muslimas, past, present & future: I never journeyed here to pledge allegianceto either of you. I also never journeyed here to assimilate/integrate. I came here to negotiate, on behalf of myself, for a tactical and hence organic treatise to begin. But any treatise requires
ethics
because, andwithout deceiving ourselves, differences, within and without, will arise; in fact, they already have. Thosedifferences without come from mutual enemies and thus require that we unceasingly attempt to minimizeour stereotyping of one another, such that we may become more of a force in facing such enemies. Thosewithin come from our own selves and require that we unceasingly and tirelessly negotiate with our ownselves and rely on good intents. We will never foresee from where we stand now what lies ahead and allthat there is; But again we don’t need to, because together and only together will we be able to alwaysdiscover, construct and hence catch a glimpse of it…
Ila Rabe’e:
haqab qa’d
 
Ishtaqa Ghiyabee ilayk
. Asaloa’ka a’n tu
y
asr Le Amri Wa’intchroha Le Saa’dri Wa’nthlol Uqdatan MinLesani
ky Ya’Fqahu
Le Qawle’e.laqa Alhamd Walaqa Al’shukr qat…

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