I sat on the rocking chair and sighed. Alice was right, as usual. No wonder Bella could not acceptmy marriage proposal. She did not trust me. How could she? I bailed at the first sign of trouble.
I’m jealous and controlling. Too serious and brooding. Aside from my physical strength, I’mweak
.I took a deep breath of her tantalizing smell, then added “heroin addict” to the list.
But she still loves me despite all of my faults. She just wants me to love her back.
She looked as beautiful as ever now, curled up on her bed like a kitten. I was glad that Jasper calmed her before she ran out of tears. I had no reason to doubt him. I would have to find a wayto apologize later.The absurdity of my “hands off” policy was quite clear now as well. She deserved a boyfriendwho could kiss her. One who could grip her waist tightly without harm. One who could rubsoothing circles on her hand.I had managed all these things so far. My anger towards Jacob was what clouded my focus. If Icould stay calm around Bella, maybe things could go back to normal.Yet she had brought up my intimacy rule again. I had not realized that it was still so much on her mind. But it made sense; it was always on my mind even though I tried not to think about it. Weloved each other so much, possibly more than any two people had ever loved. But it felt like wewere the only couple in the world that could not fully express those feelings.Her graduation deadline was just a month away.
If she could only wait…
She stirred in her sleep; Jasper’s effects were long gone by now. She whimpered and tossed.
Probably having nightmares about me.
But I usually knew how to stop them.I lay down next to her and lightly encompassed her with my arms. She snuggled against mychest and smiled slightly. As I closed my eyes, I felt as close to slumber as a vampire possiblycould.I eagerly hummed her lullaby as my fingers scaled her clothed back. A
sigh of relief left me.
This plan was the shortest-lived plan in history.