ay The most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. ” ‘Arun Bandodkar al people do nor know how t0 ‘They have ears thar hear very n gens liste I swell, bt seldom have they acquired necessary aural skill, which would allow those eats to be used effectively for what is called as litening According to Epiceetus, a Greek philosopher who Lived over 2000 years ason we have ewo ears b ago, the fonly one mouth i so that we can liseen tovice as much as we There is one egory of people thar can look like chey ae cealy listen ‘Arun Bandodkar is a human resources trainer with 15 years experience Currently he isthe training manager of HRD Dept, of ETA Star Group and Trainer and Consultant’ for Dubai institute Of Business Management they do not hear even one word. They have this remarkable abiliey eo eune out wh theit head up & down and incesjeting 1 to look like they wad. Meanwhile theit ever is being ssid while bobbing tind is focusing on whacever is really important to chem “True listening is a very important aspect of effective communication and a simple 26 GULF OILFIELD NEWS sku ehae can impeove your elationships Powerful way to connect co another person is to listen. Perhaps, the mose iimpoctane thing we ever give each other isouratcention. When people are talking, no need to do anything but receive them. A good lisener needs to be nether inelligent nor good at reading, Listening isa differen skill altogether Concentration while listening is a greater problem than concentration during any other form of personal communication We think much faster than we tlle ‘On mind can process words at 500-00 swords per minute, and we can only tall. at aboue 125 co 150 words per minute, i 4 real effort 0 keep your focused on another person's words ‘The basic medium of thought is language. Hence words play a large part in our thinking process, The words race through out brains ze speeds much higher than 125 o¢ 150 words per minute Jf you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your miod will wander in a hunded different directions. The more work at paying close a what the other person is saying, che more sel€-discipined you will become When we listen, we ask our besia co zeceive words at an exteemely slow pacecompared with its capabilities. We slow down our chinking when we listen s0.2s 0 coincide with the 125 words per minute speech rare, But slowing down thought processes is very difficule, Therefore when we are listening, we continue to think at high speed whereas the spoken words artive at low speed We can broadly classify listening as passive and active. Active listening: When we're actively listening, we'te making a conscious effore to stay actively engaged in a conversution, instead of passively letting che other person's words pass through our eass. We are processing whar the ocher person is saying and crying to truly understand them, When we conchide thar we know what a person is saying after only a few sentences, we miss the full explanation of that person's feelings and concerns, as well as the subrle nuances such a5 body language, tone of woice, and facial exprassions thie provide a good deal of insighe into a person's meaning, ‘We pick up bits and pieces of what the speaker is saying and begin thinking about whae we want to say in response. We should be active listeners in daily conversations and also in sicuations, Passive listening can easily lead to argument because it doesn’t promote understanding; it promotes conflict. such as classrooms or meetings, when. we're listening ro learn rather chan. participating in ewo-way dialogue, Passive listening: ‘We have been passive lisceners in the classroom session while at schools and colleges. Passive listening, docs have its place. For instance, we're usually passive listeners when watching TV of listening to the radio, Sometimes afticnd or co-workerislooking fo vent about a frustrating experience for a bad day. In thae ease, our buddy is jusc looking for a sounding board and not necessarily for any feedback. Passive listening isn't wrong always. Instead, we've just got to know when and where e's appropriate. Passive listening is also sometimes refersed 0 as “argumentative listening” because planning is going on in the mind, while we are listening, Hence passive listening can easily lead to argument because ic doesn’t promote understanding; it promotes conflict. We're being argumencacive listeners because more concerned with forming come-backs than with resolving the situation amicably. Defensive listening: A related bactier to active listening is judging the concent of what a person is saying instead of listening co the person's intene. Certain words or topics can really push our butcons, eriggering anger ot fan urge to ger defensive, When we're upset by what a person is saying, we stop. listening all rogether and focus on our anger, chinking, “How dare he say chat!” ot, "Boy, do I have something 10 say £0 sha Emotional responses to starements are completely normal and even healthy. What we can do to avoid emotion overpowering our ability co listen is to simply take note of how something, makes us feel and temporarily tuck i away co avoid dwelling on the anger. Then, when it’s time to respond, share the emotion in a productive way. Rephrasing a speaker's staremene lets that person know, you were eruly hearing. what was said and can help ensure that your underscanding of chat statement is Tips for being a good listener: L. Don't finish other people's Don't daydream while the person is talking, 3. Plan your response after che person has finished speaking, even if it sieans there will be a delay in che conversation. A bie of silence is well worth ie 4. Provide feedback ia the form of rephrasing what you heard 5. Take noe of non-verbal cues They're an importane pare oF .