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Free Will vs. Predestination: Can't Anyone Give Me a HARD Problem to Solve?

Free Will vs. Predestination: Can't Anyone Give Me a HARD Problem to Solve?

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Published by John Shore

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Published by: John Shore on Feb 18, 2010
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04/28/2013

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Free Will vs. Predestination: Can’t AnyoneGive Me a HARD Problem to Solve?
My dachshund's namesake
Lately a couple of trouble-making readers have been asking my opinion onthe question of free will vs. predestination. For some time now I havestruggled mightily to ignore their queries; when finally forced by etiquette toacknowledge them, I suggested, in hopes of distracting them, that theyupgrade their cable service, or invest in pets."You can watch Chinese soccer matches!" I tried. "And a dachshund can beso much fun! They look like sausages--with
 free will!"
But, alas, they stayed on topic. "Stop trying to get out of it!" they responded."Choke up your opinion on predestination!"The problem is that I've never been too interested in trying to suss out theexact relationship between my free will and the idea of God's alreadyknowing my whole life. Once I tried to do some reading on the matter, butright away bumped into words like "determinism," "Calvinism," and"Arminianism."
 
So I ran out and bought a dachshund, which I named Emanuel Swedenborg.And now determined readers are back at it. So let me solve the wholequestion of free will vs. predestination, so that I can go back to watchingChinese soccer.Now then. I am sure I have free will. To prove it, I will now do an imitationof Daffy Duck.There. I did it. There's no way God could have predicted I would do
that.
Ha! And now I just did an imitation of Daffy Duck imitating Road Runner!And---ow. I think I hurt my throat.But the point is: I decided to do that larynx-traumatizer all by myself.There's no way that in any Book of Life written before time there's an entrythat says: "5:43 a.m. July 25, 2007. San Diego, California. Dork on couchdoes imitation of Daffy Duck imitating Road Runner."This proves, beyond question, that I have free will.Except I don't want to have free will. Which is to say, I don't want to be ableto
surprise
God. A God so stuck in temporal time that he has to
wait 
to seewhat will happen next doesn't sound like a very inspiring, very All-Knowingsort of deity. That sounds like ... me watching TV.So forget that. God knows all. Period. That's not debatable.So God
did 
know I was going to wrench my poor little throat box!And yet, he didn't stop me. How ... kind of him.Okay, so what do we have here?I
think 
I have free will---but in actually I don't, because God, knowing all, isperfectly aware ahead of time of everything that I'll ever do, say, or think.

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John. GOD KNEW you were going to EVENTUALLY start posting your great blogs directly onto Scribd because HE KNEW that once you did it you'd be featured IMMEDIATELY! Hmm...that last part doesn't count as omniscience because all your fellow scribes knew that too :)
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