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The Depression Began After the Girls Had

The Depression Began After the Girls Had

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Published by hooshang danesh
Leile--A short story set in the background of Persian Gulf--
Leile--A short story set in the background of Persian Gulf--

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Published by: hooshang danesh on Feb 20, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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02/20/2010

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Leila
The depression began after the girls had afalling out. I mean they went at each other for months, with the willfulness, andconviction only teen-age girls possess. For night after night they would talk to oneanother into the wee hours of night,gossiping, imploring, and exciting oneanother to no end. A condition which gotevery parent annoyed. And then they, oneby one put an end to it. This was after all aPersian Gulf Emirate. Where a girl is nolonger just a girl at 16, but a possible bride,and if gossip dominates her life then whatelse, well they just weren’t allowed to runwild on their cell phones. The parents hadto exercise some control, perhaps they feltguilty too, for the luxury of things likecamera phones,-1-
 
ipods, ipads, etc. Though the western-educated parents totally snubbed and killedthe idea of the girls having boys, men ontheir mind, the condition went on furtive,and out of their control. So, everything hadan edge of secrecy, which excited the girlsto no end.And of course, the girls went on attractingthe same light any young women soughtand found. Though the friends wouldn’tadmit to the part of seeking it, they baskedin the luminous aura that surrounded them-all Arab girls are full of tales when young,tales of brides having had enduredhardships and existing despite. Like mostmysterious flowers in some brazen garden,they looked out this way to the world, likedark waters, trapped in its deeper feelings,in its juries and channels. So, it wasn’tquite a surprise when Leila got depression.She had to run some way, and the only safeway was solitude, like some undeservedfate- and this grabbed a hold of her, andparked her in a space called to her amazement: dysphoria. She researched iton the web, the sleeplessness, the absenceof that feeling that just had moved out of -2-
 
her body, like a child. She felt the way her mother must have felt after giving her birth.The solemnity of parting. The absence of accumulated fetal joy. She felt like anabsent mother. Her friends had longabandoned her and moved on. She couldn’tquite tolerate their constant talk of boysanyways, she was secretly more ambitiousthan just boys her age. Although she didn’tthink herself above them, to her boys werethese half-human, half-fish things. Beingsshe couldn’t quite figure out. So she ranthis way, that way and finally sought thesolitude of every secret being, and the dailyhatefulness that came with it, the exclusion.She knew in this way, she thrived bydrowning, in the most foreign seas- and inthe hugeness of this vasty depth- she metwith the thoughts of death. This scared her more than anything else. The death openingdoors and paths, death slithering over walls. She felt as though she must choosethis distant rest. Over the thoughts of demolished purity. Over her thoughts of more than just boys. Her friends werecontent with their shadowy existence while-3-

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