Math Jokes

➢ I failed every subject except for algebra.

How did you keep from failing that ?
I didn't take algebra !

➢ Teacher: Are you good at math ?

Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math !

➢ Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this
problem please ?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I
was a boy !

➢ Teacher: Did you parents help you with these homework problems ?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself !

➢ Teacher, I can't solve this problem.

Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten !

➢ Teacher: That's good

Pupil: Good ?, that's perfect !

➢ Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?

Pupil: That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard
one !

➢ Teacher: How much is half of 8

Pupil: Up and down or across ?

➢ Teacher: What do you mean ?

Pupil: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

➢ Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once.
How much is six plus 4 ?
Class: At once !

➢ If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are
left ?
None, they were all copycats !
 Math Trivia

Q: What Greek math whiz noticed that the morning star and evening star
were one and the same, in 530 B.C.?
A: Pythagoras.
Q: What's a polygon with four unequal sides called?
A: A quadrilateral.
Q: What's a flat image that can be displayed in three dimensions?
A: A hologram.
Q: What T-word is defined in geometry as "a straight line that touches a
curve but continues on with crossing it"?
A: Tangent.
Q: What geometrical shape forms the hole that fits and allen wrench?
A: The hexagon.
Q: What number is an improper fraction always greater than?
A: One.
Q: What two letters are both symbols for 1,000?
A: K and M.
Q: What's short for "binary digit"?
A: Bit.
Q: What century did mathematicians first use plus and minus signs?
A: The sixteenth.
Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-
old Milton Sirotta in 1940?
A: Googol.
Q: What handy mathematical instrument's days were numbered when the
pocket calculator made the scene in the 1970s?
A: The Slide rule's.
 Math Songs

Inequality
Yesterday, equations seemed an easy game to play.
Now I see things in a different way:
I see inequality.

Suddenly, single answers simply will not say

What the situation should display:
It’s an inequality.

Why we have to shade, now I know it shows the way.

I can test a point then decide where answers lay…

Now I say, inequalities are the best way

To show exactly what you want to say.
Oh, I trust inequalities.

Math Poem

My mind is turning into scrambled eggs!

What is x and y to the power of three?
Whole numbers, mixed numbers and absolute,
 exponents, integers and factoring trees.

Terms, expressions and what is the root?

It all sounds like Greek to me.

I must write a poem for another class.

I’m running out of time much too fast.
So I’ll talk about digits and my reaction,
while I attempt to work these equations.

Mixed operations in an expression

must be done in the following manner.
Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally,
to help me remember the proper order.

Parentheses, exponents, multiplication,

addition or subtraction,
that is the order of proper action
for solving math, numbers and fractions.

With fractions when I multiply

it is best to quickly simplify,
the denominators remain the same
these do not need to change.

If fractions I add or subtract

I must remember it works like this,
each denominator must be the same
then add the top like a list.

Multiply two positives they remain just that.

Two negatives will spoil the batch.
Mixed signs will keep the minus too,
keep this in mind or stay confused.

I wish that I could remember more

But that is as far as I have gotten.
Off to bed I must go,
or tomorrow I will feel rotten.
 Math Prayer

Lord God, we thank you for the number of ways…for the gifts
being ADDED and for the sins you have SUBTRACTED.Thank you
for the blessings you have MULTIPLIED and the families you never
DIVIDE. For the intersecting roads we see, may we find the right
way to be. May we face them all in glee, In your GLORY let it be…
The life you gave us is like a circle, which we travel with all our
might. This proves that you are the center of our lives and the
ENDPOINT of the MILE. May each of our problems have a solution
that we’ll thry to solve each day…Please send us the formula so
we may find the SOLUTION for them…I pray too to the HOLY
SPIRIT 1+1+1 is ONE. Be the CENTER, INTERIOR and EXTERIOR of
this circular life we soar. You are the BASE of all GOODNESS…the
ROOT of all RIGHTEOUSNESS…your POWER is to the tenth. Guide
this life to us you lent…You are really NUMBER ONE! Amen.
 Math Quotation

If you disregard the very simplest cases, there is in all of

mathematics not a single infinite series whose sum has been
rigorously determined. In other words,the most important parts of
mathematics stand without a foundation.

"The notion of infinity is our greatest friend; it is also the

greatest enemy of our peace of mind." -- James Pierpont

"The infinite! No other question has ever moved so

profoundly the spirit of man." -- David Hilbert

"[Paradoxes of the infinite arise] only when we attempt, with

our finite minds, to discuss the infinite, assigning to it those
properties which we give to the finite and limited;" -- Galileo
Galilei

"The infinite in mathematics is always unruly unless it is

properly treated." -- Edward Kasner and James Newman

"God created infinity, and man, unable to understand infinity,

had to invent finite sets."