The coaching relationship (from James Flaherty)

Coaching is more a ‘be’ than a ‘do’. It is a mindset as much as a technique.Elements of the coaching relationship are:Mutual trust. Mutual respect. Mutual freedom of expression.In an ideal situation the coach and the person being coached are equally enthusiasticabout the process. However, this isn’t always the case and sometimes the coach need tohave the commitment and energy to get the coaching process started. To put it another way - the coach has to build a bridge, to help the person being coached to see the benefitsin engaging in the conversation.

Approaches to coaching:

YouMeAgreeThe person being coached should do most of the talking. Whether you are resolving adifficult problem or helping them in taking on something new – perhaps a task they havenever done before. In a club context you may have arranged a specific meeting withcommittee member. Also be ready to coach informally – maybe in a brief conversationafter a meeting – at the bar –on the phone - where ever!

Key skills and attitudes

ListeningAsking good questionsChecking understandingGive person your full attention (no talking and texting)!When something needs to be done be clear about the outcome and open about how it is to be achieved – accept people need freedom to do things their wayGive both private and public acknowledgment of achievementsUse your evaluation skills in giving feedback. Give it promptly and keep it focused.Remember we are all volunteers – influencing rather than managing, persuasion rather than authority.Keep things in perspective. If you find yourself getting over involved in an emotionalsituation step back to gather your thoughts and come back able to help constructively.Get committee meetings to stick to time then socialize and get to know each other.

Questions

What is most important for us to talk about…

Clarifying questions

How do you feel about…(Caroline) What do you think about…(Dorothea)What kind of…Is there anything else…