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15 things to do at Walmart (Cullen Style)

15 things to do at Walmart (Cullen Style)

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Published by Abbie
Ever get those annoying, yet funny chain e-mails that say stuff like “15 Things To Do At Walmart”? This is what happens when Bella gets one and decides to enlist the Cullens to help her actually do them!
Ever get those annoying, yet funny chain e-mails that say stuff like “15 Things To Do At Walmart”? This is what happens when Bella gets one and decides to enlist the Cullens to help her actually do them!

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Published by: Abbie on Feb 23, 2010
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11/10/2012

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Chapter 1: The Cullens Go To Wally-World
"Bella? What's going on?" Edward was referring to the fact that I was sitting atmy decrepit computer hunched over laughing hysterically. I tried to take deepbreathes the calm myself down enough to answer him. When the laughter was turned down to a giggle, I turned to explain.He was sitting on my bed, smiling my favorite crooked smile, which made myheart stutter. Once my heartbeat returned to normal─as normal as it couldever be around him─I explained, "I was just checking my e-mail and I got areally funny one from Angela. It's '15 Things To Do At Walmart'." Another giggle slipped out just thinking about it.Suddenly, I got a great idea. I turned back to the e-mail and pressed "print".When the printer finally spit the paper out I grabbed it and started walkingtoward the door, motioning for Edward to follow. He gave me a confused look,but followed.He didn't say anything until we were in the Volvo pulling out of my driveway."So, do you mind telling me where we're going or do I have to guess?" heasked."We are going to your house so we can get Alice, Jasper, Emmett, andRosalie," I answered. I decided not to tell him my plan until we got to hishouse so I could watch him squirm a little, trying to figure out what was goingon in my head."And why are we doing this?" he wondered, just like I knew he would."You'll find out when we get there.""You're not going to tell me?""Nope.""Why not?""Because I want to wait until I can tell everyone at the same time." I lookedover at him to see if he was getting frustrated yet. He was always so beautifulwhen he was frustrated. To my surprise his face was calm and smooth, but inhis eyes there was a small hint of frustration that he couldn't hide. I smiled tomyself. Would I ever get used to his beauty?He didn't say anything more until we were at his house. Edward parked theVolvo outside the mansion, not bothering to use the garage, he must of knownthat we wouldn't be here for long. He got out of the car and was opening thedoor for me in seconds. He offered me his hand and lead the way inside hishouse. Alice had obviously 'seen' what I was planning and told the others,they were all waiting for us and began asking questions as soon as weentered."Okay Bella, what's your big plan for us all to have a fun, non-boringevening?" Emmett cheerfully asked."You didn't tell them?" I asked Alice. I thought she would have gave them afull description of our night already."No, I thought I would let you do that," she replied. I could see she wasalready excited, she was bouncing up and down, smiling hugely."Well," I began, "Today I was reading this e-mail, it listed 15 thing you coulddo at Walmart, you know, to freak other customers out, annoy the employees,or just get a good laugh. So I thought we could drive to the Walmart in PortAngeles and try some of them." I looked around the room at everyone to see
 
their reaction. They were all smiling deviously and looked excited, evenRosalie, who hated Walmart."Yes!" Emmett hollered. "I've been bored all day. What are we waiting for?Let's go!" He started moving towards the door, but before he could make itout, Edward stopped him.Edward turned around to face me. "Bella, exactly, what kinds of things are wetalking about?" he asked warily."Um..." I muttered as I pulled out the list out of my back pocket. "15 things todo at Walmart," I began to read each. Every so often I would hear a chuckleor Emmett would laugh loudly. At one point Jasper had to send a wave of calm his way just to shut him up.By the time we got to Port Angeles we had already decided who would dowhat. Edward pulled into the parking lot of the Walmart and we recapped. Wedecided to meet back at the car in two hours, leaving us plenty of time to pullour pranks and do whatever else we wanted. For me it was to avoid Alice andher mood for a shopping spree.We all made our way into the store and split up, of course Edward decided heand I should stay together, so he could protect me from the 'dangers of Walmart'. First we would do my tasks, which included making a trail of tomato juice to rest rooms─I of course did not pick this, but since I was the only onethat could actually happen to, I had to do it. I also had to get several bouncyballs and throw them down an aisle shouting 'Go, Pikachu, go!'─I was the onlyone who actually understood that one. The last one I had to do involvedEdward too, when a clerk asked if they could help me, I supposed to startcrying and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" while Edwardgave the person dirty looks and trying to comfort me.I made my way to the food aisles, pulling Edward along with me, while hechuckled about what was to come. When we reached the tomato sauce Iturned to Edward for help, "What kind do you think we should use?" I askedhim.He looked a little puzzled, "How do you presume I should know? You're theexpert on food," he pointed out."Well," I began, "You're the expert on blood. I want to get one that resemblesblood the most. If we're going to do this, I want it to look authentic." Why dothis half way?"Okay then," he leaned closer to get a good look at each one's color andtexture. After a few moments of careful consideration, he finally grabbed ageneric brand of sauce in chunky style."Are you sure?" I asked with heavy sarcasm."Yes, love. I am quite sure." he replied very seriously. We made our way tothe restrooms. I unscrewed the lid off the tomato sauce jar and began pouringit little by little, making a trail to the women's door, while Edward 'listened' for anyone coming. Surprisingly, the sauce looked an awful lot like blood, it mademy stomach churn. When I was finished I dumped the jar in a nearby trashcan, while Edward examined my work."Nice job, love," he whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arm around mywaist and began leading me away from the 'blood'. "It almost makes methirsty," he laughed in my ear before he kissed the top of my head. He leadme towards the toy section. When we reached the bouncy balls I took three
 
that were sitting in one of those cages in the middle of the aisle. The weirdthing was, they actually resembled 'Pokemon balls'.We walked over to a fairly crowded aisle. I made sure there were nobreakables around. I threw the first ball, and caught the attention of a fewgirls, who had been ogling at Edward, then I threw the second ball, and thenext. Finally, I yelled with as much seriousness and enthusiasm as waspossible, "Go, Pikachu, go!" Everyone stared at me for a second beforelaughing. If my face wasn't already red from laughing, I would have blushed.Edward was laughing just as much as me. If it were possible, tears wouldprobably be streaming down his face. He kind of reminded me of Emmett."Did those things look fun to you?" I asked Edward when the laughter finallysubsided enough to breathe, let alone talk."Yes, they did in fact look very enjoyable," he said, trying to ease his laughter."Good," I said smiling deviously at him, "It's your turn to help cause a littlechaos."
Chapter 2: Edward in Walmart(Edward POV)
"Okay, here he comes," I murmured quietly to Bella. "Get ready."We were standing in the middle of 'Lawn and Garden' section at Walmart,preparing to cause a little bit of a scene with one of the sales clerks who wason his way to ask us if we needed any assistants'
Wow, that girl is really hot! I wonder if she's with that guy. Oh, well, he's probably a jerk.' 
the clerk thought. I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist andpulled her closer to me. Suppressing a growl at the clerk's thoughts. I didn'twant to give him any reason not to come over to us. Besides, it really wasn'this fault, Bella did look exceptionally beautiful today.She was wearing a lovely blue blouse and a khakis skirt. Did she always haveto be so tempting? And her smell... I swallowed the venom that had built in mythroat, quickly regaining control of 
that 
side of me. It wasn't so hard now toresist her. But I was very happy that the temptation would soon be over. Onlythree more weeks until I finally call her my wife. My mind started to wonder toour honeymoon. When the wait would be over and I could finally have Bella tomyself,
all 
of her.I was brought back to the present with the clerk's cheery salesman voice."Hello, is there anything I can help you with today?" he asked, looking backand forth between me and Bella. Suddenly, Bella started sniffling and her eyes began tearing up."Oh, no, now you've done it," I said to the confused employee as Bella starteda full-on crying jag."Why can't you people just leave me alone?" Bella practically yelled at theclerk."E-excuse me?" asked the dumbfounded salesman."Why would you do that to someone?" I glanced down at his name tag thatsaid 'Hello! My name is Brandt!'with one of those yellow smiley faces on it."Why, Brandt?"A few people had started staring between us and Brandt.'
I wonder what he did to the poor girl. Some people can be so mean.' 
waswhat most of the thoughts were.

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hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lololololol can't stop laughing!!!
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