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Muslim Wedding

INTRODUCTION

Muslim Marriage (Nikah) is a civil contract between two persons - a man and a woman for conjugal lifeand begetting children. It is a contract of a permanent nature, unless dissolved by divorce. It has attachedto it a notion of sanctity as well, since every step in its materialisation and dissolution is guided byreligious dictates.

MARRIAGE THROUGH THE AGES

Islam does not permit inter-religious marriages. Muslims used to give preference to cousins because of some considerations like - pride of lineage and notions of purity of blood; family solidarity; the prospect of the Jahez or dowry given to the daughter at the time of marriage remaining in the same family.Family consideration is the most important factor, which is split into two categories - considerationpertaining to the bridegroom, and consideration pertaining to the bride. The groom is supposed to bequalified, hailing from status family, employed and of good nature. Whereas the bride has to be goodlooking, well-behaved and possess good health. She must be also trained in household managementresponsibilities.

MATCH MAKING

Like many other communities of the world, Muslims too give preference or priority to certain of their kinwhile settling marriage. Due to some socio-cultural factors "cousins" occupy a significant place in thematrimonial alliances and hence they evolved "cross cousin" and "parallel cousin" marriages, which arestill popular. The most probable reason for these sort of matrimonial alliances is that siblings separated bymarriage yearn to remain close to each other and hence they want their children to intermarry and givethe demonstration of "sibling solidarity."The procedure of selection of the marriage partners is considered to be the most important factor: theygive every possible attention to this basic point. The match-making could be done among cousins but it isnot always possible. In most cases, it is the elderly ladies of the families concerned who take the lead inthe matter. They consider it their foremost duty to suggest marriage proposals for the marriageable girlsand boys. Other members of the family are also on the lookout for suitable young people. The elderlyladies of the two parties, when they meet at some function or other the opportunity is availed of to discussthe possibility of an alliance. As it is a family matter and previously contemplated, both parties giveauthority to an elderly lady who settles a date for a talk between the families.Another procedure is through interested friends and relatives, especially when a suitable match is notavailable amongst near-relations. The third procedure is by ascertaining a suitable match throughservants, fruit and sweet vendors, barber's wife and the like who move among several families and areable to render service to various families.In the present society, though the old role of the parents still prevails, under the influence of Westerneducation more and more people consider it proper to take the consent of the young people directly or indirectly with the help of friends and cousins. Matrimonial ads and marriage bureaus are increasingly

being used.Negotiation starts after initiation through intermediaries and friends, and when concurrence has beenreached in settlement , they become more and more defined and details are discussed and a day fixed for the final settlement.It is the bridegroom's party that takes the initiative and makes the proposal for the marriage. But nowdays,the bride's party takes the initiative and makes the proposal for the marriage.As in initiation, so in negotiations, elderly ladies, mutual friends and close relatives play prominent role.Apart from them, a unique personality known as Mushatta was accustomed to play a great role in themarriage negotiations. A Mushatta is a working woman visiting well-to-do families to help young girls tocomplete their toilet, etc. Because of their close associations and unchallenged access to differentfamilies and mixing with them, they used to gain close and deep knowledge of the status of the differentfamilies, the character of the individuals and their behaviour.

COSTUMES

The wedding dress for the girl includes a Sharara, which is a long following skirt and blouse. There is adupatta to cover the head. The groom wears a Sherwani or a traditional salwar and kurta. But there areno hard and fast rules here.

RITUALS

Rituals Before MarriageIstikhara and Imam-Zamin

Muslims complete the negotiation process with the ceremony of Istikhara. In this, it is customary to takethe consent of God for concluding the negotiation matter. Here, the Mujtahid (Religious Head) obtains theconsent of God with the help of a Tasbih (Rosary) and when the Istikhara is wajib (super affirmative), it isconsidered that the marriage between the parties should be finally settled. The mother of the boy or someother close woman relative (if the mother is dead), accompanied by her female friends and relations ,pays a visit to the house of the girl with sweets and Imam Zamin to see the girl immediately after Istikhara.The guardians of the girl accept the sweets and entertain them with refreshments. In most cases the girlis adorned and the women of the boy's family see the girl's face for the first time and the mother of theboy ties the Imam Zamin round the upper portion of he bride's right arm ( a silver or gold coin wrapped ina silken cloth). This ceremony is called the Imam Zamin ceremony.

Mangni (Betrothal)

Mangni is a popular marriage ceremony, which is fast making its presence felt at all Indian marriages. Inthis ceremony, the female members of the boy's family visit the house of the girl, taking with them sweets,fruits and vegetables. The sweets are distributed among the relatives and friends of the girl's family. Inreturn sweets, fruits and vegetables are sent to the boy's house and there also sweets are distributedamong the relatives and friends of the boy's family. Exchanging rings between the groom and the bridedoes also take place.

Manjha

Manjha is a ceremony that starts a few days before the actual Nikah ceremony. The bride wears yellowclothes and in some of the families, the bridegroom is also dressed in yellow clothes. During these daysthe Nawan (Barber's wife) in the case of the bride, in Nai (Barber) in the case of the groom rubs Butna(grounded mustard seeds) on the bride's and bridegroom's bodies and each in his or her own house and

they take their bath daily after that. This is continued after upto the day of Nikah. The bride is confined ina separate room, which is avoided by male members who are older than her. In the case of groom, it isnecessary that during Manjha he should not go out of his house, but few are able to observe thisrestriction. Girl friends and relatives entertain the bride with jokes and humour.Among the Muslims, both at the residence of the bride and of the groom, women of both the sides sing tothe accompaniment of the Dholak (Drum). Grinded Mehendi (Myrtle)is applied to the hands and feet of the bride of the bride before the actual marriage ceremony takes place, and in some families it is alsopasted on the hands of the groom.Manjha is sent from the bride's side and it is the first occasion when specially the women of both sidesmeet one another in close familiarity. The Manjha is taken out in a procession with music bands. Themain articles sent on such an occasion are the yellow robes of silk satin with golden fringes andembroidery. Sweets and pindis (sugar preparations) are also sent in trays to be used by the groom toimprove his health and are eaten with milk. The pindis contain varieties of dried kernels of fruit and gumshaped into round balls. They are also distributed among friends and relatives as a token of intimation of the coming marriage.

Sanchaq

Sanchaq includes jewelleries and costly clothes which are sent from the groom's house to the bride for use on the occasion of Nikah and Chowthi (another ceremony after Nikah). In Sanchaq, articles like, Nuth(nose ring), Tika (forehead ornament), Ring, Suhag Pura (make-up goods for the day of Nikah), garlands,Nuqals (a preparation of sugar), dried fruits, etc., are also included.The procession of Sanchaq contains music bands and all sorts of articles in large pans known asKhawans covered with gorgeous wrappings, the chief being a Matki or a jar with curd in it and fish tied tothe neck of this jar.

Marriage Rituals

Nikah

Invited guests and relations assemble at the bridegroom's place on the Nikah day when the groom wearsthe clothes received from the bride's side. Sehra (a flower veil) is tied to the groom's forehead by thebrother-in-law, who in return receives some cash as a present from the elders of the family. The Parjasi.e. Barber, Sweeper, Washerman, gardener, tailor and domestic servants, etc., are given money andclothes to mark the auspicious occasion. The baarat then proceeds to the house of the bride.Before the Nikah, dried dates, sugar and Nuqal are placed before the bridegroom. One of the Mujtahidsrepresents the groom while the other represents the bride's side. If the settlement of the Maher has nottaken place before, it is done on this occasion. The bride's Mujtahid, goes to the bride in the woman'sapartment and asks her three times whether she accepts the person concerned as her husband, with theamount of Maher as settled and generally she answers in the affirmative. Then the Mujtahids from thebride's side comes and takes his seat in the assembly. Then the Mujtahids of the groom's side asks thegroom three times whether he accepts the woman concerned as his wife with the amount of Maher assettled and he answers in the affirmative. After this is done the Mujtahids of the bride's side recites theKhutba (religious discourse) and then both the Mujtahids pronounce the Sigha of Nikah, and someresponsible persons from amongst the audience sign on the Nikahnama (marriage deed) as the witness.Thus the Nikah is completed. Sehra (sort of poetry) is also recited in the praise of the poets in praise of the groom and his family on this occasion.

Rituals After Marriage