self was proving me correct; thoughts of war had flown right out of his head, though he still
pretended…now, all he thought of was providing a home and
a life for Bella. I couldn’t feel jealousanymore…I
those feelings. Those
my feelings. But the fear always remained. If Isucceeded with Bella in the past, if I avoided the influenza epidemic and managed to marry her
like I wanted…would I ever s
ee her again?
I let the memories flow over me…our first kiss in the summer heat, mingling with our kiss afterleaving the meadow…different sensations, but both irresistible. Both
. I sighed to myself,fighting the longing that the new memories stirred
in me. My Bella…what I wouldn’t give to holdher now, to feel her softness under my fingertips…
I want to take her to the Benedicts’ party,” I told my mother, fighting my embarrassment. She
knew as well as I did my hatred of such social functions; she could easily guess my motivation
desire to please Bella, to impress her, to win her heart…
Well, I can’t say I’m completely surprised,” she replied, smiling knowingly. “She’s already agreed to go?”
Yes,” I mumbled. My face was flushed.
I’ll take care
of her for you, then,” she said. “She’ll be the belle of the ball.”
I rolled my eyes at her smirk…
I woke in the middle of the night. She stood there in her pure white nightgown, like an angel or a ghost, come to whisk me away
I miss home,” she’d told me. I’d taken her into my arms, glad of any excuse to be this close to her, happy to imagine a life where I could lie beside her this way every night…but her sadness haunted me. The longing in her eyes wasn’t completely mine. She still thought of someone
lse…her Jacob? I felt sick at the thought…
No…I knew better. It wasn’t Jacob. She missed
; I had to believe that, or I would go insane.
Clearly she was reciprocating my past self’s feelings, but why? Was it because of missing my
present self? Or did she feel the same tug that I did in both times, the need to have
, in any setting, any form. Did she feel the same in regards to me? Could she love my human self and my vampire self equally, unconditionally?Could she come back to me here when my human past held so many more opportunities for her?
I wish I could stop time and keep you like this forever.”
Yes…I knew the feeling.
It was Rosalie this time, approaching slowly. I nodded, acknowledging her andsimultaneously giving her permission to approach. My family had been on tenterhooks with me for