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Only Human11

Only Human11

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Published by Ana Karen

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Published by: Ana Karen on Feb 27, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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09/13/2012

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Chapter 11
Title:
Only Human (11/27)
Author:
Amethyst Jackson
Rating:
M/NC-17
Category:
Drama, Angst, Romance
Pairing:
Edward/Bella 
Summary:
A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.
Disclaimer:
 
 All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I’m just having a little fun.
 
A/N:
 
Congratulations! It’s a whole chapter of 
 vampire! Edward!
It hadn’t been a full day since Bella’s disappearance, but from my memories, I was sure she’d been
in the past at least a week. I could only dare to hope that the strange time difference would mean
having her back with me sooner. Any other thought was…unbearable.
 
My past self was making the most of the situation…not that I could blame him. Hadn’t I said
before that I would have done everything to make her mine, had I found her then? And my past 
 
self was proving me correct; thoughts of war had flown right out of his head, though he still
pretended…now, all he thought of was providing a home and
 
a life for Bella. I couldn’t feel jealousanymore…I
knew 
those feelings. Those
were 
my feelings. But the fear always remained. If Isucceeded with Bella in the past, if I avoided the influenza epidemic and managed to marry her
like I wanted…would I ever s
ee her again?
I let the memories flow over me…our first kiss in the summer heat, mingling with our kiss afterleaving the meadow…different sensations, but both irresistible. Both
Bella 
. I sighed to myself,fighting the longing that the new memories stirred
in me. My Bella…what I wouldn’t give to holdher now, to feel her softness under my fingertips…
 
I want to take her to the Benedicts’ party,” I told my mother, fighting my embarrassment. She 
knew as well as I did my hatred of such social functions; she could easily guess my motivation 
– 
my 
desire to please Bella, to impress her, to win her heart…
 
Well, I can’t say I’m completely surprised,” she replied, smiling knowingly. “She’s already agreed to go?” 
 
Yes,” I mumbled. My face was flushed.
 
I’ll take care 
 
of her for you, then,” she said. “She’ll be the belle of the ball.” 
 
I rolled my eyes at her smirk…
 
I woke in the middle of the night. She stood there in her pure white nightgown, like an angel or a  ghost, come to whisk me away 
.
I miss home,” she’d told me. I’d taken her into my arms, glad of any excuse to be this close to her, happy to imagine a life where I could lie beside her this way every night…but her sadness haunted me. The longing in her eyes wasn’t completely mine. She still thought of someone 
lse…her Jacob? I felt sick at the thought…
 
No…I knew better. It wasn’t Jacob. She missed
me 
; I had to believe that, or I would go insane.
Clearly she was reciprocating my past self’s feelings, but why? Was it because of missing my 
present self? Or did she feel the same tug that I did in both times, the need to have
her 
, in any setting, any form. Did she feel the same in regards to me? Could she love my human self and my  vampire self equally, unconditionally?Could she come back to me here when my human past held so many more opportunities for her?
I wish I could stop time and keep you like this forever.” 
 
 Yes…I knew the feeling.
 
Edward? 
It was Rosalie this time, approaching slowly. I nodded, acknowledging her andsimultaneously giving her permission to approach. My family had been on tenterhooks with me for
 
the hours since she’d left, and I hadn’t helped any by refusing to move from my spot in the forest,
 where I watched her.
“You’re scared shitless, aren’t you?” she said as she sat beside me. I smiled at her
lack of subtlety.
“Completely,” I agreed. “Wouldn’t you be?”
 
“Yes,” she nodded slowly. “If it were Emmett…I’d be afraid he wouldn’t be able to get back to me.Or that he would love me more, if we were human…if I could give him children, a family.”
 
“Shouldn’t I be worried?” The insecurities spilled forth easily, now that she’d been the first to voice them. “If you had the chance at the life you’d always wanted, with Emmett and all, wouldn’t  you take it?”
 
Rosalie shrugged. “If it were possible, maybe. But if 
 
I were in Bella’s situation, I don’t think I would. I wouldn’t change any of the circumstances that led to me meeting Emmett. I wouldn’t risk letting him spend an eternity alone; I’m sure he would feel the same way. And I’m sure Bella does,
too. Besides.
Bella’s not the type to settle down and have a family. That’s too ordinary for her.”
 
I smiled to myself. “It would be remarkable for her to make the safe choice for once.”
 
“You don’t 
want 
 
her to stay behind, do you?” Rosalie asked, knowing my tendency towa 
rd self-sacrifice.
“No…no, we’ve come too far for me to go an eternity without her now.”
 Rosalie clapped a hand to my shoulder in a very Emmett-
like gesture. “Give the worrying a rest,Edward. You’ll only give yourself a headache.”
 I watched her go, feeling only moderately better. Her reassurance helped, but how much could it do against the images that continued to flood my memory?
I don’t know exactly what to make of you, Bella. There are moments like these when I think you 
might feel as much as I do 
– 
an 
d then other times it’s as though you’re miles away, like you’re dreaming of someone else…” 
 
Someone else like Jacob. Like her past love. Would she cling to those memories forever,continually dream of someone unworthy of her? I could do better. I could be good for her.
 
Edward, I promise, every part of me is with you.” 
 
My heart thrummed with hope. “Every part?” 
 
Every part,” she said. “Of course, it’s not easy to let go of the past completely – 
but with 
 you…that’s where I 
 want 
 
to be.” 
 

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