As soon as my brother in law left town I returned the Yugo mower and purchased theKansas City Gut Slinger, so named because this monstrosity generates so much blade speed it’lltoss the guts of any unsuspecting frog clear to Kansas City.Sure, it cost a good bit more, but at least you can feel like a man while you ride it.My wife tossed in her usual, “I don’t know why you are always going on about size.Obviously size doesn’t mean a thing to me.”Women are so crazy. She ALWAYS says this!Of course there were some complaints about the signs I put in the yard before I got on themower. Apparently these were also in violation of the neighborhood Constitution, but I thought itwas only prudent to warn anyone without a protective suit to comply with the Gut Slinger’ssuggested 300-yard safety radius.The nutty Boothe family refused to acknowledge that suggestion. At first I waited patiently for them to pass. And waited. And waited. As part of her rehab the little girl was on awalker and good gracious was she playing up the drama. Obviously, that one had a future intheater.With the Gut Slinger guzzling gas, no reasonable person could be expected to wait allday, so I had to go on with my mowing.I saw the monstrous frog at the last second.If the Boothes expect me to pay to get those stains out, they got another thing coming.