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Love, Sex & Marriage

Love, Sex & Marriage



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Published by F. Remy Diederich
This four part series looks at how a couple develops intimacy in marriage, deals with unresolved anger and gets to the bottom of sexual "turn-downs" by looking at the Bible's Song of Songs.
This four part series looks at how a couple develops intimacy in marriage, deals with unresolved anger and gets to the bottom of sexual "turn-downs" by looking at the Bible's Song of Songs.

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Published by: F. Remy Diederich on Mar 07, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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…a study in the Song of Songs
By Remy DiederichCedarbrook Church
Love, Sex & Marriage
a study in the Song of Songs
By Remy DiederichCedarbrook Church3.7.10
This document contains
Part One:
Sex; a Celebration of Intimacy, page two
Part Two:
Keys to Intimacy, page nine
Part Three:
Catching the Foxes, page sixteen
Part Four:
Romance Busters, page twentyfour 
Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m starting a new series today called
 Love, Sex and Marriage…a studyin the Song of Songs.
If you look through my seven years worth of sermons you won’t find much on marriage. That’sbeen intentional because we have so many people who are single. If you are single I don’t wantyou to feel left out. So instead of talking about marriage
I’ve touched on a number of issues
that relate to relationships. But after seven years I thought I should finally hitthe subject of marriage head on.If you are single, I don’t want you to check out on me. Let me give you four reasons why it’s justas important for you to hear about marriage as it is for married couples;1.
Some day you might be married and you should know something about it BEFORE youget married.2.
Understanding marriage helps you to understand God. I’ll talk about that more later onthis morning.3.
The principles of intimacy in marriage can be applied to other relationships.4.
Learning about love, sex and marriage will help you encourage your friends that aremarried or thinking about marriage.Now, we aren’t going to get very far in the book today…just the first two verses…because thisbook requires a number of introductory remarks. But let’s start with the first verse. It says…
Solomon's Song of Songs.
1:1The first verse is probably just an inscription, a title that was placed on the book to label it. Incase you don’t know, Solomon was one of the sons of King David…king of Israel. And thenSolomon took over from his father as king around 1000 B.C. But, in addition to being king,Solomon was also a writer of songs and proverbs. The Bible tells us that Solomon…
…spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five. 1 Kings4:32
Calling this Solomon’s “Song of Songs” meant that it was Solomon’s best song ever. It’s likewhen we say that Jesus was the “King of Kings”. That means that he is king above every king.And so the “song of songs” is Solomon’s greatest hit. It’s the song that he’s known for like…
Frank Sinatra is known for “I did it my way” or Bruce Springsteen is known for “Born in theUSA” or Lady Gaga is known for… I have no idea what she’s known for! But she seems to be inthe news a lot these days!But this is a song that all the people had heard and probably sang around town. Now, if you arelike me, the natural question I have is…
why would I want to listen to a love song by Solomon?
Imean after all, wasn’t he the guy that had 700 wives and 300 concubines? Not exactly the modelof marital fidelity! But, like many people, Solomon started off well. It was only later in life thathe strayed. When he was young he was a man of humility and wisdom. So his words are stillvaluable to us. (Actually, this is an important principle in general. Just because someone straysdoesn’t mean that we should disregard every good thing they ever said or did. Truth is truth andgood deeds are good deeds. We can still appreciate something that someone did even thoughthey change for the worse.)Now Solomon wrote about the love that he and his wife had for each other and the song startswith her words…
 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-- for your love is more delightful than wine.1:2
Well, right off the bat you get a pretty good feel for what this song is about. There are threeHebrew words for love – one is used for companionship, another one is used for sacrificial, loyalcommitment and the third one, the one used here, is a comprehensive term for lovemaking:kisses, caresses, as well as intercourse. Now, get this. That word is used 53 times in the entireOld Testament. But it’s used 32 times in the Song of Songs alone. So the Song of Songs is afairly steamy book. In fact, about half of the book is this couple telling each other how goodlooking they are and how much they want to want to have sex or how much they enjoy havingsex with each other.I’m not making this stuff up! It’s in the Bible. You see, you should be reading the Bible! Biblereading is going to go way up for us this week for Cedarbrookers.Now, this song was written 3000 years ago. And some of you might rightly ask why we shouldeven bother to listen to it. I mean, come on. We are way beyond that. We know so much moreabout love, sex and marriage than what they knew back then. What can we possibly learn fromsuch an ancient book?Well, I don’t think we are as smart as we think we are. Just because we know a lot aboutsomething doesn’t mean that we do it well. I think the economy is a good example. We havesome of the smartest people on earth from Stanford and Harvard working on it and where has oursophisticated thinking gotten us? In a big mess. And I think we are in just as big of a messrelationally and especially sexually. Last summer TIME magazine wrote an excellent articleabout the state of marriage in the United States and this is their conclusion…
There is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human miseryin this country as the collapse of marriage. Is There Hope for the American Marriage?TIME,
July 2009

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