Déjà, Déjà Vu

Déjà, Déjà Vu
A novel by
Frank Burden
2009
All of the characters in this novel are fictitious and are not
based on any person living or dead.
Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Déjà, Déjà Vu
On a pleasant Saturday evening in August, Gabriel Margenau was sitting on a

beach made up of fine pebbles which had an interesting though not entirely
comfortable texture rather like a beanbag armchair but with a more solid and
gritty stuffing. The beach was at the foot of a high chalk cliff with large tumbled
rocks at its base; in student days he remembered chipping away at them in the
hope of finding a rare fossil or part of a Ichthyosaurus. Now he was entirely
relaxed and for a short while his mind had been almost devoid of thought,
empty, drifting, and this was such an unusual occurrence for him that thoughts
that were on the periphery and normally would have rushed in without knocking
on the doorway of the mind now encountered a locked door. The previous week
had been as hectic as any week can sustain without total nervous collapse,
though he liked the feeling of living to limit. The opportunity to stay with his
friends, Dick and Jodie Horton, at their country cottage above the cliffs to the
west of Lyme Regis had taken up so promptly, with no discussion or allowance
for excuses, by Melissa, his wife, that he had gracefully acquiesced, assuming
that he could secretly keep his thoughts focused on work affairs behind a
gracious countenance. He had managed this all his life whether at home, at
work, at play or in bed, and these thoughts often followed him as he drifted off
to sleep and kept a sentry like posture so that on awakening they were ready to
take charge and not let a moment pass without their insistent voices continuing
to command, remember, plan, love, hate and all competing eternally for the
prime position. Gabriel occasionally wondered if all minds were as hyperactive
and constantly busy as his own or whether there were moments of stillness that
others attained that were denied to him. Neither yoga, meditation, nor drugs, at
least of the milder kind, stilled the constant buzz of existence.
Gabriel's life was filled with activity from dawn to late at night and was so-filled
precisely to avoid any moment of that true contemplation, of a relaxed and
carefree mind, in fear that the realisation of universal purposefulness might

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intrude and make all his activities worthless. So it was particularly unusual to find
himself sitting on a beach with nothing but the gentle murmur from the sea to
disturb the tranquility of the moment and even more unusual to feel entirely at
one with the moment. The cliffs behind him and the small bay in front of him
seemed to cut him off from reality for a while. It was not until a long time
afterwards that Gabriel was able to trace the change in direction of his life to
that moment and when he did eventually manage to salvage the elusive memory
of the moment, it gave no explanation. The only and very small hint that he
could grasp was that he remembered that the blue of the sea and the blue of the
sky had seemed to fuse into an all-enveloping oneness, like an aura, that had
briefly engulfed him. It always eluded him even when the secret seemed to be to
hand, when the new turn of events, that had so disrupted his existence, had
started.
At the time it was just a pleasant feeling of solitude and in spite of its calming
effect on his overactive mind it was no more to him then than perhaps a glass of
whisky before retiring. Just a quiet moment. Nothing more. But just as a large oil
tanker seems to respond to a movement of the tiller a mile or so after it is
turned so this quiet moment seems to have altered the direction of his life. Since
we are all connected closely or distantly to everyone else on earth it altered the
directions of everyone, but particularly so of those who were close to him.
In a short while, when the hardness of the stones intruded into his comfort, he
rose and wandered for a short while along the shore and it seemed to him, and
this he also remembered later, that it was all familiar, not the sea or the beach
but somehow everything, as if life was just a repetition with variations as in a
piece of music with no finale. The sense of familiarity faded as he turned and
retreated to the house where they would all be expecting him for the pre-dinner
drinks and chatter and plans and the trivial but pleasant things of life. He

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climbed the cliff path and jogged the few hundred yards to the cottage where
he heard voice Melissa’s rise as she saw him.
“Oh, here he is; we were wondering when you would surface. Come in out of the
damp and say what you would like to drink. Jodie and I have been thinking
about Christmas and Dick is somewhere in the garden.” He settled for a whisky
and water and awaited the decision.
The activity of life was back in force and being directed by his attractive and
dearly loved, but so organised, wife, Melissa. He turned and headed for the
garden like a well trained dog that recognises the voice of command and
swerves to the new path instinctively, or at least automatically, with a given
purpose that was not its own. He didn’t mind being ordered about at home and
in many ways found it relaxing to be told what to do rather than have to think it
all out for himself. It generally turned out well as Melissa had his measure and
knew exactly when to push forward and when to ease back.
He went through the countrified kitchen, with its stone floor and hanging pots
and pans, through to the back door. As he opened it he was confronted by
Angela, the Horton's daughter, and although he had seen her as recently as six
months ago, he had seen her as a child. Now she was a fully matured woman
and full of vitality, health and a with natural grace that brought all his manhood
to the surface.
She looked at him with a warmth in her eyes and said in a rush,
“Hi Gab, I’m so pleased that you came, how are you, you're looking good, what
have you been up to, do come and sit down in the garden with me and tell all.”
She was dressed for the garden, or rather for gardening, in a khaki shirt, jeans
and boots, all of which somehow enhanced her new role as woman, rather than
detracted from it. She was almost his height of 5’ 10”, slim, blonde and with
piercing sky blue eyes; a femme fatale if ever there was one. They had known

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one another for about 11 years, since she was seven, and had spent quite a bit
of time in one another’s company. Her parents, Dick and Jodie, were close
friends of his, and now Melissa’s. Gabriel and Dick, who was a senior lecturer in
chemistry at Imperial College, had met when Gabriel had sought an opinion from
Dick on the toxic effect of some chemicals that had been leaked, or dumped
rather, into some streams and rivers in Surrey. The consultation had been
successful, the culprit brought to justice and the practice stopped. They had
collaborated on a number of pollution cases and had found that they were
natural allies in their temperament and skills. Dick was not averse to making
some extra cash from his consulting and Gabriel needed his expertise to pin
down environmental villains.
Gabriel was far from putting off a chance to sit with the new and alluring Angela
and replied,
“Ok but just for a while, I’ve been sent to rouse Dick and drag him in for drink.”
“Oh, don't worry about him,” she murmured “he's at his favorite pastime of
talking to the vegetables in the hope of a better crop. He loves the garden down
here and would really like one that he could attend to on a daily basis. The
garden in the city is only good for a few pretty flowers and herbs.”
They sat down on a stone bench and began the small talk of ‘where have you
been’, ‘how are your studies’, for she was now at London University studying
medicine having scored some very high marks in her A-level exams of her main
science subjects as well as some respectable marks for French and German. She
told him that she had had a wonderful first year at college and had gained high
distinctions as well as having plenty of fun.
“I’ve got a wonderful flat in the Docklands overlooking the river. It’s so nice and
cosy that whether I want to study, or just have a quiet time, I can sit and watch
the river traffic from my balcony. Aunt Isobel left me a bit in her will so I was
able to buy a comfortable flat rather than going into the usual shared student
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accommodation. Actually, I’ve got a flat mate but she’s hardly ever there and
then only for a night or two.”
Gabriel thought back to his own student days and the wonderful times he had
had sharing with friends and of the rowdy parties and general lack of
responsibility. He wasn’t sure that a solitary life, even if it did have a view, was
what he would wish for. Still, he thought, everyone to their own needs, and said,
“It sounds as if you have got a great place and I envy the view. How about boy
friends, or shouldn’t I ask?” but all he received in return was a coy look that he
couldn’t interpret.
He changed tack and recounted stories of some of his more famous encounters
with politicians and celebrities in his role as an environmental advocate. They
talked for about fifteen minutes until he asked her about her personification as a
gardening assistant.
“Have you taken up a passion for gardening as well or are you just on contract
to your mother and father to keep the place tidy. You certainly look the part,
what with the big pockets in your shirt and trousers. What do you keep in them,
snail and slug poisons?“
He didn't have a clue as to what a gardener would need, as his protective role of
wildlife didn’t translate to a love of getting his hands dirty, and it was just a wild
throwaway line but her reply was,
“If you really want to know then put your hand in and find out. I’ve got some
interesting things in them.”
which was said while looking directly into his eyes. He didn't dare reply to such a
dangerous suggestion and diverted the conversation by saying that he would
have to fetch Dick and said that if she would like a lunch with him sometime,
she could ring him at his office, or on his mobile, during the week. He gave her
his business card, and said that they could meet up wherever it suited them at

Déjà, Déjà Vu
the time. He had never been one to let a good looking woman go past him
without making some play for her, it was instinctive; he had been like this all his
adult life and it was as natural to him as any other primal need. This was well
known for this amongst his friends and colleagues but was generally forgiven, by
women at least, since he wasn’t persistent, could take no for an answer, and
wasn’t devious or underhand. This was evident to those who knew him and also
knew that his wife was unconcerned, so they looked on it with some amusement.
His previous wife and partners had found this side of Gabriel more difficult but
his current wife, Melissa, just laughed at it and took no notice and, in fact, was
not averse to playing around herself when away from home.
“I'll do that” Angela replied with a grin, “and I’ll make sure that I wear plenty of
pockets, if you like.”
She gave him a winning smile, got up with a very slight wiggle and left him to
fetch her father from the greenhouse. He dismissed it all as a passing
naughtiness though, in truth, he thought she was startlingly attractive and to his
own credit, at 38, he was trim, fit and still, evidently, attractive himself. He
would have to think seriously before venturing in her direction since her parents
were among his best friends and, more than that, the fact that she was so much
younger. She was not even born when he was her age but he wasn’t sure
whether the age factor should be a problem for him if it wasn’t for her. He was
jumping the gun a bit so, removing such thoughts from his mind, he wandered
down the garden and called out,
“Dick, give the plants some rest, I know that out our royal betters sometimes
talk to the flowers but there is no record of vegetables listening with any degree
of attention.”
Dick looked up and smiled his slow smile.
“I don't expect anything from them, Gab, other than a little understanding and
I'm pleased to say that they comfort me enormously. I find that even broccoli
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has sensible things to say in spite of its wooly head. I know gardening isn’t your
passion but everyone needs something to do that doesn’t occupy their mind too
much so that more serious thoughts have time to reorganise themselves. Jodie
says that ironing, of all things, does it for her.”
Since the Margenau’s lived in a house, in Hampstead, passed down from his
grandparents, through his parents, to him, and the Horton’s lived in Fulham,
neither of them had a substantial garden to attend to so that Dick liked to play
gardener a bit when he came down to the country. In town, the two women,
Melissa and Jodie, looked after the small backyards that passed for gardens and,
because they swapped plants between them, their gardens had a certain
similarity.
Gab took hold of Dick’s elbow and urged him with,
”Drinks are ready, Dick, come up and join us and tell me more about this
daughter of yours, recently turned woman, she must be a heartbreaker at the
university.”
Dick grimaced, “Actually I’m a bit worried about her, Gab, because since she has
left home and gone to live in a flat in the Docklands she’s got involved with a
side of the environmental movement that I’m not too comfortable with. I know
its your area, and I’ve nothing against what you do, and in fact I admire you for
the results you’ve achieved against the odds, but student activism is another
thing. They get involved in all sorts of protests just for the sake of it and I’m
worried that she will neglect her studies and get herself into trouble, though her
marks to date have been excellent, so perhaps I’m worrying unnecessarily.”
” You are worrying unnecessarily, Dick. Its true that there are some who will get
involved wherever they can cause trouble but most of them are just young and
enthusiastic, and I think that they learn a lot about the way the world works by
becoming involved in the passions of the day. I was wondering where her

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gardening gear came in and assumed it was actual gardening rather that a
caring role for all plant kind. “
He found that he was glad that she was involved with the wider world and in an
area that matched his own passions.
Dick assented, “I think that the country gear is just a fashion statement on her
behalf but I really feel that she is spending too much of her non-study time with
her activists friends and going with them to lobbies and demonstrations and a lot
more, which I'm sure she doesn't tell me about.”
Gabriel was pleased to hear this, since he was in charge of Earth Trust UK, which
was an umbrella environment organisation for the whole country and he was
their chief spokesman. It took him into the corridors of power and on many trips
around the country, as well as abroad. Perhaps he and Angela had more in
common that he had supposed and again he found that he was rather pleased at
the thought.
They wandered up to the house to take part in the chatter of yesterday and
tomorrow and were shortly joined by the Horton’s son, Tony, who was also down
for the day from his studio apartment in Brixton. Tony was a designer, artist,
musician and seemingly unemployed on a full-time basis, but also reasonably
affluent judging by his clothes, accessories and motorbike. He was a lithe and
confident young man with a good future in front of him if he would only apply
himself a bit more. His work as a designer was excellent, and in demand, but
Tony worked when it suited him and generally no more than necessary to keep
body and soul together, though with style. Gabriel had always got on well with
Tony and had thought that he had had talent from an early age when he used to
sketch whatever was in view and Gabriel had a few rather good sketches done
by Tony, at home in his study. It was fascinating for Gabriel to follow the Tony’s
life as he made his way in the world of art and design and a surrogate for the
lack of his own.

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Tony wandered over to him and asked, “How are things with the environmental
movement, Gab, and when are you coming round to have a drink and see some
of my stuff. “
“The environmental movement is winning about the same amount as it loses as

always, thanks Tony, and the usual problems are still with us – profit and the
economy come first. I’ve been meaning to come to see you but somehow
recently life has been one endless series of trips, meetings and dinners and I
know not what “
“You should take some time out, Gab, its not good for you to be so involved that
there's no time for an hour or two to visit friends. How about next week? pick a
day. “
“Ok, I haven’t got my diary on me but let’s say next Thursday, 6pm, for drinks
and perhaps a bite to eat somewhere since I think that Mel is at one of her
functions that night and I am ‘meeting free’. If I’m wrong about my diary then I’ll
phone so that we can make another time.” Actually he could be out pretty well
any night he chose, so long as he told Melissa in advance, and vice versa, just so
that the one at home knew what to do by way of dinner.
So it was arranged, and they drifted out to the patio where a barbeque was at
the right heat for cooking the steak and sausages. Dick was in charge of the
barbeque, and in full barbeque chef gear, just to over emphasise the point. They
had the meat with a wonderful avocado salad followed by a summer pudding
that Jodie had brought down with her from town. The evening drifted on and
after much drinking, a bit of singing with Dick at the piano and Tony on the
guitar, followed by a moonlight stroll along the cliff top, they all began yawning
and started the movement towards bed and dreams.
As they were climbing the stairs to bed, Melissa was in front with Gabriel behind,
and as he was appreciating his wife's form, with some anticipation and calling
out the final good nights, for a brief fraction of a second the blue aura of the
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beach appeared to him once more and, because he was in the middle of saying
good nights, he stumbled on the stair causing Melissa to turn and ask if he was
all right. He replied that he was and had just tripped, but in fact he was rather
shaken because he felt that there was a message in the aura that he couldn't
read. He wondered if there was something wrong with him but since he had no
other symptoms besides the aura, he nothing to go on.
The next day arrived and all was at peace. Breakfast was served, belongings
gathered up, and the trek back to town, and the business of the day, begun.
Arrangements were made for a restaurant dinner, and perhaps a show for later
in the month, and life took its usual course of serving up some of the old mixed
with some of the new together with the usual promise of uncertainty for those
who were the most certain.
Melissa drove Gabriel back to town in companionable silence and dropped him
close by his office with the anticipation of seeing him that evening at the usual
time, or not if anything came up and, if so, he or she would contact the other by
mobile phone via voice or text.
Melissa had been well aware of the new Angela and appreciated the trouble that
she had been taken in building the image of the pseudo-gardener and could also
see quite clearly for whom she had taken the trouble. She resolved to say
nothing for the present as it could be interpreted in too many ways, but she was
on her guard. Angela had been careful not to overdo her attentions to Gabriel
but Melissa had seen how her eyes had followed him around throughout the
evening. She had known that Angela had had a soft spot for Gabriel from the
moment they had met five years ago, not long after she had started going out
with Gabriel. It had seemed rather harmless at the time and she knew that
young teenage girls sometimes got crushes on older men, wearing off as the
attractions of boys their own age took over. This time it looked more like the
sophisticated tactics of an older woman.
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*****
So the first day of the terrible events to follow started ever so slowly; slowly and
imperceptibly. The office and work was as he left it on Friday and it only took a
glance at his diary to position his thoughts so that a orderly attack could be
made on the day and the week, with each thought in order behind its
predecessor ready to do its duty on the dot of the appointed time.
He enjoyed his work as the managing director (if that wasn’t too grand a title) of
a large, non-profit, environmental organisation, Earth Trust UK and was well
known around the country for his passionate advocacy for a whole range of
issues from sustainability to pollution reduction, and also into wider and more
global concerns. His secretary, Kate, was also a professional through and
through and the two of them made a formidable team She was the organiser
and he was the up-front speaker, negotiator, advocate; an opponent of all those
persons, politicians or corporations that were seen to be doing the wrong thing
by the ethical standards of the Trust. He was responsible to a board of
management but meetings were more of a think tank from which he would sail
forth with increased vigour to confront the world with its misdemeanors.
Kate, was as totally indispensable to his work life as Melissa was to him home
life. She had been with him for 9 years and had started working with him while
he was still married to Kelly. She had proved to be so competent, and the two of
them so compatible, that he had ensured that a special position was created for
her as office director, with a commensurate salary. They also had a strong non-
sexual relationship which enabled them to talk about their private lives in
confidence and to shed worries, or share joys, by going for a drink after work,
which also served as a debriefing session for the in and outs of the health of the
Trust.
On that day everything went smoothly as usual and he even remembered to add
in the appointment with Tony into the diary for the Thursday evening. He had
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several visitors during the day and had just seen the last of them out late in the
afternoon when the aura came again. It was bluish, as before, and only
remained for a split second, but as was once said, perhaps by Trotsky he
thought, it was like the flash of lightning on a battlefield that can be sufficient to
disclose the disposition of the enemy troops. He seemed to see all his love life in
one coherent pattern before the aura faded. They say it can happen when
people have a near death experience but surely not in the midst of a healthy, if
somewhat overactive life, he thought. It was gone as quickly as it came and he
was left with nothing other than a feeling of unease and he resolved to see his
doctor if it persisted.
Angela rang in the middle of the afternoon, not to him directly via his mobile
phone, but innocently through Kate and asked if he would be free for dinner on
the Thursday evening at 8pm at Georgio’s, an expensive Italian restaurant in
Soho. Kate was used to Gabriel’s lunch and dinner engagements that seemed to
have a high preponderance of women. She had met Angela once or twice and
reflected that she must be about 18 now and wondered what category, if any,
she was in; daughter of a friend or a potential conquest. She’d find out sooner or
later she supposed.
Angela had left a mobile number and asked for confirmation by text message
and he duly confirmed the time and place, aware that his drink with her brother
would have to be neatly timed, and resolved to use cabs that day though they
were an expensive way of getting around London. Life went on, he refused to
think on it, put it away at the back of his mind, buried it so that only a slight
reverberation of its existence was apparent in his daily life. He knew full well of
the dangers to himself, his family, and his professional life and yet; and yet he
found that he was incapable of reneging on the arrangement. Was it the
danger?, her allure?, the obvious possibilities, or was it for her herself? Hardly,
he was gracious enough to admit, for he hardly knew her as an adult woman or
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of her interests, passions or way of life other than the little he had gleaned at
the weekend. Or was it his usual existential boredom in the midst of an active
life, of the continual search for the new and the dissatisfaction with whatever the
present held.
Then the aura again, just as he was about to leave work for home around 7pm,
briefcase brimming and checking the security. It was clearer this time and he
held himself very still hardly breathing. A shimmering aura, bluish as before and
somewhat like the effect that Munch gave to some of his paintings where an
anguished face was surrounded by a halo of light, but here containing an image
of converging paths into a clearing that was littered with scraps of paper and
pictures, plus footprints. It started to fade almost immediately but there seemed
to be someone standing at the beginning of a path, but whether man or woman
he couldn't discern before it disappeared. He relaxed and found that he had been
holding his breath and he tried to focus on what had happened and feeling that
it was not external in spite of appearing to be so but something that was
emerging from within himself as from some deep recess. He held himself still
once more and tried to conjure it up again but without success and, in truth, he
didn’t know how to focus, for there had been no forewarnings and nothing to
indicate why and when. Gabriel now gathered himself together and returned to
the world and the tasks to hand and left the office.
The next three days went by without disruption as he attended a few meetings
and did an interview for Channel 4 on the response of the UK to the Russian
decision to ratify the Kyoto Greenhouse protocol. He had done many interviews
in his time at the Trust and this one was more for information of the public than
advocating any position that the government should take though he did castigate
the USA for their refusal to sign. He also had time to spend with Melissa and go
to the cinema with her to see the ‘Day After Tomorrow’, which was a film about
an ice-age triggered by the Greenhouse effect. He had wanted to see it so that
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he could answer in more detail when asked about it by the press. Personally he
found the story line rather overplayed and also too American centered.
As Thursday evening approached his thoughts wandered to the brother and

sister, Tony and Angela. He had always felt comfortable with Tony and even felt
like an uncle on occasion. He looked forward to seeing him flower in his career
and hoped that Tony would find himself in a lasting relationship before too long.
Angela was a different matter for she was much more intense and self-contained
than her brother, and without his easy charm. She was intelligent and attractive
but he sensed that she was dangerous to know, and that was exciting. His
unease was so non-specific that he chose to ignore it and to deal with whatever
came, if, and when, it arrived.
He took a taxi at 5:15 to Tony’s studio apartment in Brixton, arriving almost on

the dot of 6. Somehow he always managed to be on time and wondered about
all those that he dealt with that turned up late by 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or
more. Time, for him, was too precious to waste in this way - he liked things to
be precise and organised. He pressed the bell and spoke into the door
microphone when Tony answered; the lock buzzed and he made his way to the
top of the house. The apartment was really one large room in the roof space that
had been divided off by partitions into a bedroom-come-living-room, a kitchen
and a studio. A shared bathroom and toilet were on the landing below.
Tony greeted him at the top of the stairs, “I wasn't sure that you'd turn up since
I did rather accuse you the other day.”
“Don't worry you were quite right to do so. I've been neglecting my friends too
much recently and allowed my work to fill in all the corners of my life.”
“ Well I'm glad you came and after I've poured you a drink you can tell me why
work has become such an obsession.”
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Duty done and drink in hand they faced one another in Tony's faded, slightly
scruffy, but somehow elegant apartment. It was lined with books, CDs, DVDs
and all the clutter of a young man with little time for tidying up, although it was ,
he noticed, perfectly clean.
“Don't let’s start with me, tell me what you've been creating in this studio when
you’re not with that lovely young woman I've heard about from your father.”
“Oh her, she's history now, so, like you, I’ve buried myself in my work and refuse
to think of what I've lost, or what might be in the future, and have just
concentrated on getting some of my projects finished instead of taking on more
and completing none. I'm not sure I can stand it forever, but there is some
satisfaction in saying well that's done and moving on. I'll show you some of my
work in a moment but tell me about yourself and especially about my sister,
Angela.” This last remark was said with a raised eyebrow and a direct look.
Gabriel stiffened and then tried rather ineffectually to hide it.
“What are you saying, Tony?”
“I know my sister all too well and she is not just my sister when you appear
she’s all woman.”
Gabriel blushed,
“I have never given any indication or made any move that could be interpreted
in such a manner”
“I take that for granted but I'm not talking about you but about Angela, be
aware that what I say is true. She has been like that for the last 11 years.”
Gabriel paused his thoughts a moment and then confessed,
“You must be joking. She’s only 18 now, so you are saying that she’s had her
eye on me since she was 7; I don’t believe it, your imagination is running riot.
However, I have to admit that she phoned me on Monday and that we are
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having dinner tonight after I leave here but I took it to be just a friendly uncle
role on my part. “
Tony shook his head and again looking directly at Gabriel, said
“Be careful, there is danger.”
“Don't dramatize Tony, she is just a young woman and perhaps she does have a
crush on me and, although it’s flattering, I assure you that’s as far as it will go.”
“Be careful, Gab, just be careful. She is the most determined and self-contained
woman that I've met, and that includes my mother. If she makes a play for you
than she’s serious and, although it’s hard to believe, I don’t think that she has
ever had a real boyfriend. She has several male and female friends that she goes
around with but no one special, if you know what I mean. That’s why I’m
sounding so solicitous. ”
“Tony, I'm an older married man and am in love with my wife. I’m not
inexperienced in the ways of women, Trust me, I’ll be ok.”
“Gab, that might be so, and it is evident that you and Melissa get on well
together and enjoy one another's company, but in love? and I say this with
respect, but also as a friend, have you really ever been ‘in love'.”
“I can’t answer that, can I Tony, and I think that we’d better leave it there.”
But he was disturbed because he knew that there was something rather different
about Angela, and almost expected the aura to return. It didn’t. Perhaps it
needed solitude, he thought, ascribing to it a personality beyond his own.
The slight air of tenseness eased and they had a look at some of Tony's graphic
art and surprisingly, to Gabriel, some oil paintings, though he couldn't say
whether they were of any quality even though they stirred some emotions in him
that he couldn't place. The graphic art left him cold, but it was commercial work
for a client in an area that had no interest for him. After another drink he left
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followed by the reiteration of “Be careful”, caught a cab and was soon at
Georgio’s, so much so that he was at 10 minutes early but as he entered he saw
that she was already sitting at the bar.
He felt slightly faint and breathless at the sight of her, she looked so elegant and
beautiful, dressed in a light blue silky dress, and he was almost of a mind to
leave when she turned and smiled and from then on he was lost, and it was to
be a very long time before he surfaced to the real world again. He went over to
her and as he was about to place a conventional kiss on her cheek she turned
her head slightly and placed her mouth fully on his lips giving him a kiss that was
somehow proprietorial and deeply personal. Then, with a fluid sweep of her arm,
she motioned to the bartender and ordered a Jack Daniels on the Rocks. How
she knew that this is what he would have ordered for himself he didn't know,
whether it was a deep knowledge obtained from some telepathic understanding,
or whether she had gleaned it from Melissa, was beyond him, he couldn't
imagine how it could have come into a conversation. In an attempt to return to
normality he sought to a safe topic,
“Angela, you look wonderful and I think that the dress suits you perfectly.” and
he was glad that he had dressed carefully himself that morning and had brought
a clean shirt and less formal tie with him to work. Georgia’s was Italian, elegant
and expensive and not a restaurant that he would normally choose if he were
paying from his own pocket.
She acknowledged his compliment with a smile and privately thought that if he
only knew how much it had cost, and that she had had it made a few weeks ago
in anticipation of this first date, he would have been very surprised. Gabriel con-
tinued,
“I've just been having a drink with Tony and I must say I admire him, not only
for his talent, but for the way he is able to blend both the commercial graphic
designer and the artist into his life.”
18

Déjà, Déjà Vu
But as he said it he was aware of a slight freeze on Angela's part and, though
her inflection did not betray any emotion, she dismissed the conversation.
“Oh Tony just plays with his toys and little ideas but I doubt that it will come to
anything.”
Gab wondered where this was coming from since Tony on his part had seemed
to admire Angela, even if he was a bit worried about her seeming obsession with
Gabriel, and of course he had assumed the admiration was mutual. Assume
nothing, he reminded himself, but time will tell I suppose, whereupon he
dropped the subject, but his ears were still ringing with Tony’s final ‘Be Careful’.
They touched on other subjects mainly around her parents and relations, many
of whom were holiday acquaintances of Gabriel's, and very shortly Angela was
again summoning a waiter with a slightly imperious, or perhaps conspiratorial,
air. She led him to a table and made sure that he had a good view of the room.
He always liked to be seated where he could command a view of the comings
and goings, and she has sensed this, but carried it off as if it was as natural as a
couple having dinner after many years together.
She slipped into her chair with that effortless grace that only the young can carry
off and he noticed as she did so how perfect she was in every way. He thought,
‘How did I not notice her before even though younger, there should have been
some warning.’ He smiled and in return her face lit up and said,
“Gab, I have been looking forward to this for a very long time.”
which of course could mean many things that he did not wish to have elucidated,
so with a slight shrug he replied,
“Angela, you are looking fabulous and I am very happy to be here.”
“Ah, yes” she murmured almost sub-voce.
19

Déjà, Déjà Vu
The waiter arrived with menus and she held out her hand as if to confirm who
was in charge, and he wondered who was to pay the meal because, in spite of
her elegant attire, she was still a student and in her first year at university. Oh
well, he thought, perhaps she has other means and if not I’ll have to cough up.
She passed him a menu and, without even consulting him suggested, that they
have the oysters as they are so delicious at this time of year when they have just
come into season and, if you're willing to follow me, with an arched eye, we
could follow with one of their mouth watering fillet steaks, done quite rare. 'If
you can manage that'. He acquiesced, she knew what to order for him as well as
he knew for himself, but to retain some dignity he appropriated the wine list and
declared for two Australian wines, a Semillon Blanc and a Shiraz, to which she
gave the smallest of nods as if to confirm it against some internal list. The for-
malities over, she leaned back, relaxed, looked him in the eye and gave him a
complicit smile that set the seal for whatever was to follow. Suddenly the future
seemed bright as he gave over part of himself to whatever plans she had, for
she surely had some that went beyond a chat over dinner. As if to read his
thoughts she said,
“Gab, do you realise that you are the first man that I've ever formally dated; well
after primary school.”
“Why me, am I your obsession,” he asked,
“No, I don't think so. I just came to recognise your qualities when I was quite
young and I've never had cause to change my mind or met anyone who inter-
ested me more. I was determined to find out more of the real Gabriel, the one
who lurks behind that charming and cultured presence.”
“Where from here?” he queried. She sighed,
“There is no need to do anything we don't want to, no need to rush, its enough
for the present just to be here, for us to see one another and talk. I'll tell you
about my studies as I doubt that you’ve followed my doings too closely judging
20

Déjà, Déjà Vu
by the feeling I have that I've just turned your world upside down. I decided a
while ago that doctoring in its various forms would provide me with good life and
as I found that I could cope with the study requirements easily enough and had
plenty of stamina, I focused on science plus a languages, French and German,
and obtained enough marks to get me into Kings College, London. I could have
gone elsewhere, but London is London and it won hands down over the other
possibilities. So here I am, and thanks to Aunt Isobel, - remember her? - I have
enough of a financial backup to afford clothes and even to take you to dinner
when I feel like it, assuming you are willing” she smiled, but with no hint of an
expectation of contradiction. He surrendered internally, for the while, but re-
solved to keep up a more reserved front on the outside.
The oysters were as delicious as she had promised and she ate hers in such a
sensuous manner that he was ready to take her then and there. She tackled the
main course with a gusto of one who has not eaten for a week and with the evi-
dent enjoyment of a fine meal, for the steak was accompanied with a piquant
sauce and beautifully presented crunchy vegetables. She was finished before him
and took the opportunity to tell him more of her life.
“I have a very nice flat, or apartment as they are now styled, in Docklands, with
a good view up the river, plenty of light and I share it with a Japanese air hos-
tess, whom I chose because she is so often away and I generally have the place
to myself. In any case, we lead our separate lives and manage to share the day
to day chores equitably when she’s in England. I'll keep her away from your rov-
ing eye. He was not quite finished his food and spluttered in his own self-defense
but she just laughed.
“Gab, I know you, I've seen you at mum and dad's parties and why worry if you
are attracted to women. I bet that you've even made a pass at my mother, but
don't answer that because the answer doesn't matter. You've even cast your eye
around this room and noticed the woman in the green dress over by the window
21

Déjà, Déjà Vu
and, for that matter, her companion has noticed me, Its life and it goes on what-
ever the PC world likes to think.” Privately she was less sanguine.
“I give in and it’s true I do notice women.”
“Their bodies you mean.”
“OK their bodies.”
“And that’s all you want?’
“Sometimes and at other times, more; and now I surrender.”
“That’s too easy, I haven’t finished with you but I’ll leave it for another time.”
“You’re a bit full on aren’t you, Angela, do you ever lighten up.”
“OK enough for now. I’ll try and be good.” But he had his doubts.
The conversation veered into the minutiae of life and he found himself describing
his daily routine, from his early morning exercises, to his nightcap whisky, and all
of the meetings, conferences and travel that were part of his life. She offered
rather less in return but he gathered that in spite of her fancy apartment and
convenient flat mate, she actually seemed to study quite hard and filled in her
leisure time with concerts, art galleries and the environmental activism her father
had mentioned, rather than pubs and clubs. He wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t
have felt more secure with the latter as the former somehow spoke of control
and of self, in spite of the implied altruism. It also occurred to him, that if he was
being targeted, her environmental concerns might have been taken on just to
impress him. It was hard to believe but he had a feeling that she was quite ca-
pable of doing this, and he wasn’t certain whether to feel flattered or scared.
As the dinner wound to a conclusion over a rather sweet concoction of berry

fruits and crème caramel, which they shared, the question naturally arose as to
what to do next as it was still quite early. Gabriel being considerate, or at least
someone with the appropriate manners of what is called the old school, offered
22

Déjà, Déjà Vu
to take Angela home, but she demurred to the extent that she suggested a stroll
along the embankment as a digestive and as he was feeling in need of some air
and exercise after the rich meal, he agreed. They hailed a cab and were soon
gazing over the sparking night time waters of the Thames. As they wandered
along the embankment she hooked her arm into his as, once again, she affirmed
proprietorial rights. After a while they sat down on a bench and she leaned
against him and said in a voice that was ever so matter of fact Gab, I’m going to
kiss you now and you need to know that not only have I waited for this moment
since I was thirteen, but that it is the first of an unaccountable number to come.
He was not surprised by the fact of it, but was a little taken aback at the certain-
ty and decision in her voice and, before he had a moment to contemplate this,
she was kissing him and he knew that somehow his nemesis was at hand.
In such situations, however, his mind, as always, remained at least partially on

the rational plane and, as blissful as it was, he was anticipating the next move
and judging his own reaction, whether to go with the present pleasure and extri-
cate himself later or to call a halt to a disturbing something that he had not pre-
viously encountered. He was a pursuer of women at all times either in fact or in
his mind, but never in his experience had such a forceful approach been made to
him; he was an initiator and had no experience in dealing with this new situation.
The passion of her embrace weakened his stance and he succumbed, at least for
the while, to the immediate pleasures.
His lack of full response drew a laugh from her as she said,
“I have much to learn and I have to admit that I gave way to a suppressed an-
ticipation, but I see that I shall have to lure you more subtlety. So lets stroll on
bit more and then you can take me home to my chaste bed.”
Gabriel wondered about the meaning of that and was unresolved what to do if
Angela made a serious pass at him. As usual, he ducked the question in the hope
that a decision made at the defining moment would be the right one, revealing
23

Déjà, Déjà Vu
to him his own motives and desires. Why he should leave his fate to the chance
of a momentary impulse, given that it didn’t always turn out the way anticipated,
he was unsure but suspected that cowardice, or that a weak sense of proprie-
tary, came into the equation somewhere. They strolled on until a sudden chilling
gust of wind from the river caused them to turn as one and look for a taxi, which
was there almost immediately for them, and once inside she snuggled up against
him as if she had always done so and it felt to him that he was experiencing the
familiar from the perspective of the future; which was at the same time both fa-
miliar and strange. Not much was said on the journey and when they arrived at
her flat she made a small laugh and teased him with,
“Greg, you can now go home now to your comfy house or come in for a night-
cap and then go home. If you have other suggestions I’m all ears but be
warned.” Of what, he wasn’t sure.
A flash of blue momentarily lit up his retina but was gone before he could react
or distinguish anything.
“Angel, I’ll come in for the nightcap if only to see the river view and how a, less
than poor, student lives.”
It was a decision postponed. He had called her Angel, was it a slip of the tongue,
he didn’t know, and neither did she. Gabriel was in the dark of his own confusion
and it was to be a long time before he saw the light. Somehow there was an ex-
istential repetition but as a tree both retains its identity from day to day while at
the same time changing from second to second, so it seemed to him was his life
at that moment.
She led boldly and he trod timidly under the umbrella of her certainty and he en-
tered her flat as if into a new world. It was furnished sparsely, post-modernly,
colorfully and with a minimalist personality. She left him to his own devices for a
few minutes and he quickly scanned the bookcase; modern novels plus a few
classics, art and fashion magazines and some science magazines, perhaps her
24

Déjà, Déjà Vu
flat mate’s but then she was intelligent as well as beautiful and, since she was
reading medicine, why not hers. It was a foreign world to him who had managed
to live with the bare bones of arithmetic and newspaper science though he had
gained quite an education in the course of his job. The TLS was more to his taste
as were the critical newspaper supplements. The books on the other hand spoke
of engagement with the present world and this somehow reassured him.
She returned, saying, “I suppose you’ve cased the joint and tried to work out
what’s me and what’s my flat mate’s? I’ll leave you to guess, though I’ve no
doubt you’ll work it out soon enough.”
She gestured to a low slung lounge, sat down and motioned him to sit beside
her. He did as he was told and waited for the next move but nothing happened
until he looked up and into her eyes to be confronted by high amusement.
“How much for your thoughts, Gab?”
and she continued to hold his gaze. He found her mesmerizing and was frozen
into a paralysis of body and mind until she eventually lowered her long-lashed
eyelids and took a sip of her drink.
“I can guess what you might want, but can you guess in return? I think not and
if you decide you want to know it will take you some effort and time. Now, try
your drink before you spill it somewhere you’d rather not and tell me what you
think of a Rusty Nail.”
He tried it and found it rather sweet with a background tang and decided , cor-
rectly, that it was Scotch and Drambuie, a rather deadly concoction for a man
uncertain in his desires. If he gave in after too much he was just as likely to find
himself incompetent and perhaps, later, repentant. He sipped cautiously and she
moved closer but only so far and then putting her hand on his.
“I enticed you into my lair because I wanted you to see who I am and how I live.
I’ll give you a tour of the place in a moment so that when you leave you will be
25

Déjà, Déjà Vu
able to imagine me in your thoughts and dreams. I must confess that I’d like to
do a lot more, but I think that it is best to wait a little while and for us to take
stock of one another”
He breathed an inner sigh of relief, for it was going too fast for him and he
needed to order his thoughts.
“I think you’re right, Angela, and though you are a big temptress, I think that we
might regret it if we allow ourselves to go too fast.”
With that, he stood up and said,
“Now show me the place that a modern young student has made her home”
She got up and took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze and replied,
“I’m so glad that you’re here at last. It feels so natural even if its all so new.”
and she led him into the kitchen , which was rather small but had all the gadgets
and look clean, modern and efficient.
“I’ll cook something for you very soon, if you’ll take the risk on my cooking skills”
He had no doubt that she would be good at whatever she chose to do, and that
scared him a little.
“Here’s the bathroom and loo, and this is my room.”
He looked in and saw that it was quite large and that it doubled as her study as
well as her bedroom. Her work desk was neat and organised and that there was
a computer, multi-function printer and an cable internet connection. She was
certainly in touch with the world. There was also another bookcase with a multi-
tude of science and medical textbooks which gave the impression of a very se-
rious student.
“You are certainly organised, I’ll say that for you, Angela, though I suppose that
you have had a bit of time off seeing that the universities are on vacation. What
keeps you amused in summer.”
26

Déjà, Déjà Vu
“I don’t stop studying, Gab. To get good marks its a good idea to read ahead,
and that what I’ve been doing and I was also lucky enough to borrow some
notes from a second year student. The notes could have been better but they
point me in the right direction. I’ve also been doing a holiday job in one of the
biology labs at King’s, not so much for the money but for the experience and to
get to know the staff. Its been interesting and quite good fun as the others in
the lab, like the post-grads, go to a pub after the day is over and they invite me
along. The job has just finished and, as its only a few weeks to the start of term,
I’ve started to study harder.”
He was most impressed and thought that Dick would be far less worried if only
knew.
“Why don’t you let your dad know that you do all this?”
but she just shrugged he shoulders in a noncommittal way, so he didn’t pursue

it.
They had a quick peep into her flat mate’s bedroom, which was furnished in a
very minimal Japanese fashion, and it was also obvious that it was a pied-a-terre
which is what had led Angela to choose her in the first place.
“Ok, that’s the place what do you think of it.” and he was full of compliments
much to her delight.
“Gab, I think I’ll call you a cab now, we have infinite time in the future and we
should take it easily and slowly.”
He relaxed and she sensed this and smiled, then she turned and in an instant
had phoned for the taxi. They went down to the front entrance of the flats and
she turned to him and said in a low voice,
“Before you go you should know that I’m serious, and have not yet given my
heart to anyone, and will not until I know that they value it above all else.”
27

Déjà, Déjà Vu
and with that the taxi arrived. Before he had time to gather his breath he was
on the threshold, a light kiss on the mouth and a promise of a call soon.
She waved him off and all of a sudden, sunk into the seat of the taxi, he shud-
dered as if he had had a brush with fate, with a promise of further encounters.
He knew that he was going to have to gather his thoughts, his strength, and his
innermost being if he was to deal with what had been revealed to him; a beauti-
ful, attractive, intelligent, desirable and decidedly dangerous woman was totally
smitten by him. How had it come about, this revelation from nowhere, and yet
there was a certain inevitability, a déjà vu, that he couldn’t decipher; his head
ached and he shuddered again. On arriving home he made immediately for the
whisky and downed a large glass to try and calm the turmoil of the present and
the revealed future. However, once in bed he went to sleep instantly as usual
and only wakened when the alarm went off at 7am.
He was alert at once, as if an intruder had creaked a door hinge or a window had
been opened. There was danger and he readied himself to deal with it when
manifested itself. He slid out of bed quietly, and was tiptoeing across the bed-
room, when it came to him that the intruder was within himself and not an ex-
ternal threat. He felt even less secure because he had no means of dealing with
it and so sat on the edge of the bed to catch his breath which by then was ac-
tually coming in short pants. He calmed himself, and reasserted control, as he
had always been able to do in times of crisis or emergency, by holding himself
very still and concentrating on his body, as he had been taught by an athletics
coach when at school. It had always worked in the past and it did so once again,
so that when he was calm and clear, he went to his study found a paper pad and
began to write about the past few days and, starting with the call to the country.
He wrote down all that had happened to him as he was a believer in the maxim
that thoughts going from head to hand internally and then back to the head via
the eye gave an alternate perspective on events. When he had reached the
28

Déjà, Déjà Vu
present moment, in his writing, he stopped, got up, went to the bathroom and
had a long hot shower, dressed for work and made a light breakfast of toast and
a cup of coffee. Taking the coffee back to the study, he read what he had writ-
ten but now from the new perspective of a man in his working clothes looking at
a report. He was shocked; so much had happened to him emotionally in the last
few days and it somehow matched an inner being, which was sometimes with
him in the moments before sleep overtook him or in the moments of awakening.
He was reading about another Gabriel, one that had traveled with him through-
out life but in the shadows of his everyday persona, never intruding but there to
be noticed if he so cared. Now he did care and, as he became conscious of this
new involvement with himself, the aura manifested itself again and he held him-
self very still as if the answer to his new dilemma could be frightened off, but the
vision held and he again saw the crossing of paths with the still, shadowy figure
at the beginning of one, and this time he knew it was a woman but whom he
couldn’t say. As his right brain tried to analyze the scene it faded and he was left
with the logical notion that it was Angela but his instinct said otherwise. But who
could it be? It was someone familiar, yet forgotten, from the past, from his past,
the irrecoverable past. He was tempted to linger over the mystery longer and
evade the calling day, but he shook himself and tried to clear his mind and begin
the daily rituals, check his diary, gather up his papers, check the house, go into
the garage, start the car and so the days events gradually took him over. There
was no time to think of himself other than as the professional man with the pro-
fessional man’s persona.
There was slight turmoil that circled within him, and would no doubt manifest
itself given the slightest chance, and that it wasn’t going to get for many hours.
Its time would come, and he knew it, and for unfathomable reasons dreaded it.
If he was not to lose his equanimity he must phone Melissa, and was about to
put it off, when he realised that the evasion was part of the current problem, so
29

Déjà, Déjà Vu
he pulled over, parked, and called her from his mobile phone. The conversation
was conventional,
“Hi Mel, how are you, everything ok, how was your presentation and the din-
ner?”,
He gave her a glossed over version of his previous day and heard in return her
doings which were bland and uninteresting as other people’s conferences usually
are, unless, as he had the grace to think, she was glossing over her own activi-
ties of the previous day. He continued his journey aware that he had now be-
come complicit with Angela, and he was sure that she knew it without ever hav-
ing to ask or comment. She had entered his life in the way an invisible microbe
can enter the body, multiply and gradually take it over; he was feeling just the
beginning of the illness but whether of lust or love he didn’t know as the symp-
toms were not sufficiently developed.
His diary for that day was filled with meetings and briefings, and having been
briefed by Kate, they set out to the first meeting with an opposition politician, for
as was their policy, they kept an even hand with politicians and believed that an
opposition was less set in its ways than an incumbent government. The day
flowed as well as could be expected since no real promises were ever won from
a politician but the hope was ever there that a part of their message would be-
come part of the politicians message, even if subliminally. At the end of the day
he went with Kate to a small bar near Covent Garden where they liked to de-
brief and relax before returning home. She was married and he listened with
some amusement as she grumbled and hissed her way through her partners
faults, before returning home to the man she would never let go of for fame or
fortune.
As they were part way through their second drink she said,
“Gab, what has happened to you, you’ve changed in the last week but I can’t put
my finger on it, are you ok? is Mel ok?”
30

Déjà, Déjà Vu
for she was good friends with his second wife and they occasionally went shop-
ping together, and even to a show if their husbands were not available or not
inclined to accompany them. They even went as a foursome once or twice a year
so she knew him well and was concerned.
“No, I’m fine, I had a good weekend in the country with some old friends and I
guess that its put me in a reflective mood, not to worry, it’s not important.”
but it was and he quailed at the thought of what might be coming.
“Well look after yourself and you know that if you ever need to talk in confidence
to anyone that I’m here for you.” He smiled,
“Kate, I can’t think of anyone with a more sympathetic ear that yours and if I’m
ever in need you will be the first to hear about it, perhaps in boring detail.”
“Ok, Gab, but take it easy You look as if you’ve had a shock.”
It was well put but he felt that the shock was a mere tremble ahead of the real
quake. He must prepare himself; but how?
****
Tony had known Gabriel for a long time and they had an easy relationship with
one another. Unfortunately, Gabriel only knew one half of Tony’s life and would
be very shocked if he found out about the other half. It was true that Tony was
an accomplished designer and artist with an easy charm. However, he had a
taste for the good life which was not evident to Gabriel, or his family, and it was
more expensive than his commissions would support. He also had a cocaine ha-
bit which demanded a regular supply of cash.
He had managed to keep his desires and habits under control for a while after he
had left art college. His need for cash had gradually increased but had been met
by a series of rich girl friends whom he had cultivated and charmed with his
looks and manner. At present he was without a partner and had been feeling the
pinch and withdrawal symptoms, which were not too severe as his habit was not
31

Déjà, Déjà Vu
well developed. The solution to his problem was Angela who had helped him out
with some loans, ostensibly to fund his art work.
This source of funds had dried up because in a drunken moment while round at
her flat he had been overcome by her womanly charms and, in a lustful moment,
had made a pass at her. She had been disgusted and sent him packing without
the new loan that he had been hoping to secure.
That was two weeks ago and he had plans to make it up with his sister and apo-
logise for his crudity. He was not sure that she would be so easily mollified, so
that when Gabriel came on the scene he realised that it was going to much more
difficult than he had anticipated. He had half an idea that he might be able to get
some money out of Gabriel himself as a price for his silence but when Gabriel
visited him he knew that it was far too early to make such an attempt.
There was also the problem that it could backfire. He had the feeling that Gabriel
might not be open to blackmail since it appeared that Melissa might turn a blind
eye to Gabriel’s wanderings. If this was so, it could easily mean that his parents
would become aware of his habits and certainly would not look kindly on anyone,
son or not, who resorted to blackmail.
He resolved to keep an eye on both Gabriel and his sister in case anything
turned up to his advantage. He didn’t know that Angela had worked out that he
was on drugs and was not likely to supply him with more funds under any cir-
cumstances. She was also determined that Tony was not going to get in the way
of her plans with Gabriel.
The following week Kate knew Melissa was away up north until the Friday, so in
her concern for Gabriel, she asked if he would care to join her family one day
that week for dinner and he accepted gracefully for the following night, knowing
that he was really welcome and would be well fed, as Kate was a good cook and
knew the way to a man’s heart. After their drink, they parted and he returned
home, after a brief supermarket shop, noting with pleasure that more and more
32

Déjà, Déjà Vu
people were carrying their shopping in calico bags and that the shop even had a
sign asking shoppers to avoid using plastic bags and charging them if they did.
How long will it be? he wondered, before the giveaway plastic bag is history. He
anticipated it would be soon for the tide was flowing that way as more and more
people came to appreciate the damage that the past 50 years had inflicted on
the planet both locally and globally, and were now starting to demand that gov-
ernments lead the way. Recent polling showed that Green political parties were
entering the mainstream and that the established parties needed to take note;
and Gabriel would do utmost to help them gain some real political power.
Returning home he made himself a mushroom omelette and some asparagus,

and settled to watch the TV news but found himself drifting back to the previous
night. Turning off the television and equipping himself with a glass of wine he
decided that he was going to put all this Angela business on a rationale footing.
After all, she was just an attractive girl who had decided to make a play for him,
and, for his part, though the lust was certainly there, he saw that he was enter-
ing dangerous waters since she was the daughter of close friends and more to
the point, it could endanger his marriage. Melissa and he accepted the occasional
fling by the other, especially when out-of-town, but not to the extent of a serious
on-going affair. He had had extended liaisons in the past but they had been wo-
ven in and out of his work and home life so as not to impinge on either, and
whether Melissa knew or suspected at any time she had never commented or
even raised a metaphorical eyebrow, and he supposed that it was reciprocal.
They loved one another, and home life supplied a base or camp to which they
could both retreat, happy in one another’s company and shared interests. So
that was that, Angela could just be an innocent flirtation and occasional outing
without threatening his way of life and equanimity. He relaxed, problem solved
and he even looked forward to their next assignation with the feeling of being in
control. He picked up a book and became so immersed that his normal bedtime
33

Déjà, Déjà Vu
of 11.30 crept up on him and when he noticed the time he put the down the
book and ascended the stairs heading for bed.
The aura, or Aura as he was coming to think of it, struck when he was half way
up and it stopped his ascent instantly for it was now much clearer and he could
see that the crossing of the many paths had footprints, which he somehow rec-
ognised as his own, going back and forth and the sentinel at the end of one of
the paths was a young woman who he thought he recognised but was at a loss
to name. She was no more than 20, he thought, with long dark hair and a very
slim, almost skinny, figure. Nothing moved, the Aura faded slowly and he gasped
for he found that he had been holding his breath and he had to sit on a stair in
order to recover his poise. What was happening? what was the meaning? where
did it come from? and, more ominously, what did it portend? He recovered him-
self and, completing his ablutions, sank into his bed but his mind which had been
so sleepy before was now awake with the new revelations. He shut his eyes and
tried to recall the vision and as he did so it came to him that the young woman
was Christine, who had been his first real love, and they had been inseparable
for a year or more at university until other distractions came their way. He had
been absolutely mad about her, and she him, so that all their friends had as-
sumed that it was a match for life. They discovered a shared passion not only for
each other but for causes, the homeless and dispossessed, the anti-uranium
movement, and they had thrown themselves into these causes with a verve but
never to the extent of being arrested, as were some of their more active friends.
Then their passion for each other faded, but the passion for causes remained for
both of them, which meant that from time to time he met her since, she, like
him, became employed in the environmental circuit. They still enjoyed one
another’s company on such occasions but the flame was burning low and they
just smiled at one another in remembrance of past times. Gabriel was never sure
that Christine would repel any new advances that he might make, but, although
tempted at times, had avoided testing the water.
34

Déjà, Déjà Vu
Why had she turned up in this manner as if she were a saintly vision or other
apparition, and also as she was when he first met her rather than as she was
now, still a very attractive woman. It came to him that her name had cropped up
recently and in conversation with Angela while they were walking along the em-
bankment; what had she asked or what had he told her? It had seemed inconse-
quential at the time but he had a feeling that he might have mentioned her as
his first love. Oh well, he thought, perhaps it was just a day dreaming associa-
tion thrown up because he was tired or emotional, or whatever. He stopped wor-
rying and let his mind return to the present and then to sleep.
The tranquility of the present was shattered early next morning when the phone
rang and as he sleepily answered it he heard the soft seductive tones of Angela’s
voice,
“Woke you up did I, darling, well I won’t keep you long but I have some tickets
for that new play by George Braudel, ‘The House of Sand’ for tonight and have
also managed to get a table for two at 6pm at Bayley’s which almost opposite
the theatre. Come straight from work, as it won’t be a dress up affair and we can
have a nice tête-à-tête beforehand and a snack to keep us from rumbling during
the performance.”
He tried to gather his thoughts and spluttered,
“I’m not sure I can make it, Angel.”
“See you there, darling.” she said as she rang off.
He had her number and could have rung back immediately but he hesitated. His
problem had now come sharply into focus for tonight he was to have dinner at
Kate’s and he would have to excuse himself from that and dissemble in his
excuse. More to the point he would be overturning his previous rational decision
to take it easy with Angela and fly to her at beckoning. He knew exactly what he
wanted to do and that was to see Angela and let rationality take care of itself re-
35

Déjà, Déjà Vu
gardless of the danger to the core pillars of his life. His mind was made up and
all he needed was a plausible excuse, and knowing himself he had no doubt that
he would have one to hand before he turned up to work and looked Kate in the
eye.
He used the simple excuse of an old friend visiting the country which seemed to
be acceptable to Kate and they shifted his visit to the following night with him
making a mental note to tell Angela not to try anything on that would disturb this
arrangement, for Kate was essential to his working life and even to his personal
one. She was his organiser, his confident and his friend.
A day, like many others, finished early enough for him to pay a fleeting visit
home and freshen up in a not too obvious a fashion and then he set off by taxi
to his date. And a date, as quaint as it sounded for a 38 year old, was what it
was, and as exciting as ever. As he entered Bayley’s he had a sense of nostalgia
and when he scanned the room her saw her sitting gazing out of the window at
the passing bustle of the Haymarket and that sense we all have of revisiting an
old haunt overcame him, and he remembered meeting Christine there all those
years ago on their first formal date. How could this be, for as all good detectives
are supposed to believe, coincidences like this just don’t happen, though most
people are rather more accepting than detectives real or fictional.
She turned and he tilted his head in recognition and let the waiter escort him to
the table. She rose as he approached and proffered herself for a kiss he couldn’t,
and didn’t want to, refuse. They sat down and she enquired,
“Jack Daniels on the rocks?” he acquiesced and the wine waiter was there and
gone before he blinked, and he understood that the waiter had been briefed be-
fore he arrived.
“Isn’t this a nice surprise, Gab, and so lucky to get tickets at such short notice
but a friend was unable to go and offered them to me.”
36

Déjà, Déjà Vu
He had his doubts that Angela left anything to chance but he smiled and agreed
with her on their luck. She continued,
“ I love Bayley’s when I’m going to the theatre as its only a short walk to most of
those I frequent and they have quite a varied menu plus a good range of wines.
Now tell me everything that you have done or thought about, including me, since
we last met.”
It was a tall order and she knew it but he sensed that she was quite at ease
playing for large stakes and, in this case, with him as the prize, or so it seemed.
She wanted him off balance and was not averse to a hard shove when it was
needed. It was as well that his years battling for the environmental movement in
and out of corporate and government departments had supplied him with a re-
serve of evasiveness that was enough to carry him through for a while. He began
a desultory account of his previous day finishing up with his drink with Kate and
the date they had for Thursday, omitting that evenings cancellation. It was as
well not to been seen to be at her beck and call at the outset, if ever; a habit like
that would not be broken easily. She quizzed him lightly perhaps just to keep
him on edge but he didn’t bite and skirted the personal and moved on to details
of current projects. She was surprisingly well informed for someone who was not
an official part of the environmental movement and he surmised that he had
probably been the focus of her own personal research project for some time, and
he wondered how much more she knew about him. She quickly distracted him
when she noticed the thoughtful look in his eye and gave him a smile that Helen
of Troy would have been proud of when launching all those ships. It drew him in
to her inner sanctum and made him feel wanted and valued for himself alone,
which, all in all, was what most people desired.
“Gab, don’t be too analytical and just let our new found friendship speak for it-
self. You are happy to be with me aren’t you?
37

Déjà, Déjà Vu
It wasn’t a question, just a statement of the evident truth and he could not deny
it, there was nowhere else he would rather be at that moment. He gave her his
own most winning smile, and said to her
“Angela you are a picture of perfection and a delightful companion, how could I
not be happy to be with you, but it is early days, as you said yourself, and life
has a way of defeating the best laid plans.”
“Trust me, Gab, this is just the beginning of the beginning of the beginning. Re-
lax and let life take its course with me at the helm, I promise you won’t regret
it.”
but he was not entirely convinced. The conversation moved on to her studies
and he came to understand that she was an industrious and talented student
who was determined to do well, and this he applauded. Ambition for knowledge
and the rewards of hard work were part of his own ethos and this brought him
much closer to her. Her choice of studying medicine implied a concern for others
and, in fact ,if she had not shown such traits he would have lost interest in her
sooner or later. He would like to think that this came from deep within her and
not as some part of a larger plan which somehow involved himself. He gave her
the benefit of the doubt; suspicion was not a part of his nature, though he had
been burnt more than once in both his professional and private life as a conse-
quence.
On finishing their meal, once again she summoned the waiter, paid the bill with a
flourish that said I dare you, and led him out of the restaurant with a demeanor
that said I’ve got the best of the bunch, and aren’t you all jealous. He felt very
proud to be thus flaunted by this young woman and knew that he could take a
lot more of it.
The play was a lively, though rather black, comedy of lives built on false supposi-
tions with many a hilarious moment. They both laughed at the same lines and as
he felt her hand seek his he didn’t resist, and was gratified to feel her slender
38

Déjà, Déjà Vu
fingers wrapped in his own. She treated them as one together and he recipro-
cated as if it had been the sole aim of his life to be there when she needed or
wanted him. Was there a price, he thought that there was, but the future as al-
ways tends to pay for the present. At the interval they scarcely saw anyone they
recognised, which was a surprise, though not unwelcome to him, and the few
faces that nodded look appreciatively at his escort. Was he an toy boy or was
she the trophy woman, whatever it was, he had not sought it and therefore was
prepared to revel in it and waited with anticipation for her move at the end of
the performance.
As they left, with her arm in his as before, she said
“Why don’t you take me back to your place for a nightcap so that I can see how
a happily married man lives. I can catch a taxi home later.”
This was dangerous ground; it was not so much that he feared being seen with
her because the entrance to his house was well shielded from his neighbours,
but because of the invasion of his territory. However, once inside, she was quiet
and while he was making coffee, for she decided against alcohol, she just wan-
dered slowly around the house and he heard her climb the stairs, but on hearing
the toilet flush, he didn’t know whether she was covering her tracks or in actual
need.
She returned just as he had put the coffee and cups on a tray with a few biscuits
and followed him to the lounge. He thought to sit in his own single chair but with
a slight touch on his elbow he found that once again he was on the settee with
her, and with her curled up facing him. Coffee having been dispensed, she said
“Now that I know where you live I can think of you more clearly when we are
apart and I’m at my studies. Its much better than a photograph because I know
the atmosphere and order of your life. I’m not sure that I can incorporate Melissa
in the picture yet and wonder if I ever will. Is she very important to you? I didn’t
get that feeling when we were at Cliff Lookout last weekend.”
39

Déjà, Déjà Vu
“Angela, I’m not sure that we should discuss Melissa, she is my affair and so lets
leave her out of it for now.”
“Gab, that may not always be possible.”
“For now, Angela.”
She seemed satisfied with this and began to probe into his recreations when not
out and about and quickly deduced that he was not a watcher, but a reader, and
remarked to him that, in this, they had common ground.
“I have an idea, Gab, let’s read the same book and see if we correspond in our
estimation of it; what shall it be, an old classic, a contemporary novel, a
lightweight action packed novel, what do you say. It intrigued him, he had never
experienced such an approach, a seduction, on such an intellectual level and it
appealed to him. He felt for her a little more and taking the initiative suggested a
novel by the Nobel prize winner, Jose Saramago, since all his work was so com-
plex that there was no danger of lacking material in any discussion. They decided
on The Cave and both agreed to buy a copy as soon as possible. It was becom-
ing clear to him that her seduction, or what he had initially thought of as a pre-
datory approach, was far more subtle and he understood that she had his meas-
ure, and had had it for a while, and he for his part was just seeing past the front
she presented of the beautiful, young and innocent student. They discussed the
Hunting Bill being presented in parliament, Climate Change, Whale hunting and
more, and were comfortably at one in their opinions and projections. At last she
glanced at her watch, it was 12.30am, and said,
“Its time to go home and get some shut-eye, will you call me a taxi?”
That done, she came up close to him and said, kiss me once and properly and he
found that it accorded with his own inclination and afterwards, as exhilarating as
it was, he felt quite peaceful as if a bridge had been crossed, but what was on
40

Déjà, Déjà Vu
the other side he had no premonition. The taxi arrived, he escorted her out,
opened the door for her and as she got in she said,
“Gab, ring me when you are ready, but make it as soon as you can.”
and then pressed a card into his hand which turned out to be her land line and
mobile phone number. Her parting words were,
“Anytime, day or night.”
He returned to clear up the coffee but seeing there was a little left, he reheated
it and sat down reflectively. The word ‘embroiled’ came to mind and he knew
that it described the situation perfectly. Last week he was just coasting through
life with nothing to worry about but nothing that particularly excited him either.
Travel was always interesting and entertaining, the occasional flirtation kept his
blood flowing and his many projects kept his mind occupied. Now everything had
changed; his inner Man the Hunter told him to play it cool and wait a while but
he knew deep down that he was Prey not Predator this time and however long
he waited she would be more patient and, more to the point, he knew that he
would phone her sooner rather than later. One response to attack is to counter-
attack, he calculated that a taxi from Hampstead to the Docks would take 30 mi-
nutes, or a few more, at that time of night; he looked at his watch and saw that
it was 1:10am, he reached for the card and dialed her flat. She answered imme-
diately,
“Gab, what took you so long, I’ve been home at least 3 minutes.”
and laughed a happy, sexy and complicit laugh.
“Angela, no chit chat, lunch tomorrow, 12.30, at Charlie’s in the Strand Ok.”
“Ok.”
she said and rang off. The dice were cast but their prediction was not manifest.
He went to bed and slept soundly until the alarm woke him.
41

Déjà, Déjà Vu
On the way to work the next morning he was able to buy two copies of The Cave
and hoped that she had not been similarly inspired. She hadn’t and, as they sat
down for lunch, she placed her hand over his and said,
“Gab, you know I love you and right now I’m the happiest woman in London but
don’t say anything, I know that you will need time to adjust, so let’s just be
friends for a while and let that time accomplish the adjusting. I won’t rush you.”
He smiled, leaned over and kissed her,
“Thank you, Angela, you are a very special woman I appreciate that. You must
know that I am very happy when I’m with you but that life is not that simple. I
have a wife and , while nothing is perfect, we get along very well, so I’m not
about to break it off all of a sudden. However, we do allow one another some
freedom.” and her gave her hand a squeeze. She lowered her eyes and gave a
contented purr.
He gave her a copy of The Cave and said,
“This time next week for the first discussion, right, but I’ll see you between times
won’t I.”
“Yes,” she replied, “I have 24 hours each and every day and you can have any or
all of them and I know that tonight you are having dinner with Kate but on
Thursday I want to talk to you about Melissa because, although it is your affair, I
need to know how we will handle ourselves if only to prevent a discovery when
unprepared. Actually its more than that, I need to know what you need to do to
keep yourself on the level and functioning at your job, since I have no intention
of making waves that swamp your boat.”
He sat still and she left him to ponder until he said,
“You are right, Angela, I’ll think about it and I’m sure we can work something
out.”
42

Déjà, Déjà Vu
What am I saying he thought, in so deep already on the promise of two kisses

and a declaration of love on her part. He would have to find some thinking space
between now and Thursday if he was going to survive this radical new direction
in his life, and there was Kate’s dinner that evening which he must attend.
“I think it will have to be after work on Thursday.”
he said this so as to gain some extra time to position himself, and she agreed
that they would meet at a bar in Soho plus dinner at nearby restaurant.
With this settled and the necessities of the afternoon and evening in front of him
they had a quick lunch, and it seemed to suit her as well, and he understood that
he was not the only one that would have to adjust, even if his adjustment was
far more complex.
He returned to work, went to some in-house meetings, received some visitors

until it was time to leave work. He hadn’t needed to interact with Kate much dur-
ing the afternoon but as 5:30 arrived she put her head around the door to asked
if he would accompany her home. She normally took the tube but he didn’t feel
up to the crowding and noise, so he offered to take her home by taxi, much to
her surprise.
“What’s up, Gab, there’s no need for this.”
“I just thought of it as a treat for the cook.” he said with a quick smile that eased
the puzzled look on her face.
Once they arrived, and finding her husband Peter, already at home, he quickly
slipped into home comfort mode and accepted a beer and a look at Peter’s new
toy, a 1960’s Norton Featherbed Commander. It was a gleaming and beautifully
restored motor cycle and he could understand the evident pride that Peter had in
showing it off.
“Do you use it Peter?”
43

Déjà, Déjà Vu
“On occasions, but mainly on a Sunday when the traffic is less dense and some-
times when I need to get somewhere faster than a taxi, bus or tube can carry
me.”
Peter was a scene painter for theatres in the West End and, though his job was
mainly done before a show was being performed, there were the occasional
emergencies and Gab could see the advantage of the motorcycle; not that he
would put himself on one now, he had had too many accidents in his youth to
trust himself in todays traffic. They drifted back into the house and were greeted
by the aromatic smell of a home made curry which Kate knew was one of Gab’s
favorites. He looked forward to a memorable meal and was not disappointed. Af-
ter dinner and coffee, Peter excused himself saying that he had some sketches
to finish, and left him alone with Kate.
“Gab”, she said, “I’m going to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me, what’s up so that I get your version rather than a second-hand one, you
know you can trust me. I’ve known you too long not to notice that something
has changed in your life.”
“Kate, I appreciate your concern and I confess that my life has gone into turmoil
this week and all I can tell you is that I have met another woman and am unsure
how to proceed, and if, in fact, it will come to anything, or even if I want to
come to anything.”
“Gabriel, I guessed as much, after all I have seen you through a few previous
entanglements and I won’t ask details but know this, if things get difficult you
can always use our spare room as a refuge while you sort yourself out. Have you
told Melissa? No, I can see that you haven’t, and of course she is away this
week. If you want to phone her now there is a phone in our bedroom which you
can use privately.”
He thanked her and went to do his duty and speak with his wife, although he
would rather have not but knew that if he didn’t she might wonder where he was
44

Déjà, Déjà Vu
and what was up. The call was one of duty and after a few pleasantries and
commonplaces he rejoined Kate.
“Gab, if you need some time off let me know and I’ll rearrange your schedules to
give you a bit of breathing space.”
He latched on to this and asked her to clear the next afternoon which would give
him a few hours to reflect on the new direction his life was taking him before he
met up with Angela in the evening. She had his desk diary with her on her PDA
and it turned out that his request was easily met and on that note he left for
home. She offered to drive him but he demurred and called a taxi; he had had
enough conversation and sorely need to be on his own. However, on returning
home and, feeling the heavy tiredness that comes from emotional turmoil, he
went straight to bed and once again into a sound and dreamless sleep.
The next morning was bright and still and it uplifted his spirits, so that on enter-
ing the office Kate saw immediately that he was once again the buoyant Gabriel
that she had known over the years. He thanked her for the previous night and
for the offer of sanctuary, if needed, then settled down to work. Around mid-day
he had completed a report that was due and thought that if he was gooing to
take the afternoon off he might as well go now; so leaving the report on Kate’s
desk with a few other notes he returned home to Hampstead.
He made himself a light lunch and went to sit in the small garden with a glass of
light beer, a newspaper, a pen and a pad, for his real project was to try and
gather his thoughts and get the previous few days in perspective, as he had tried
to do a few days before. He started by writing down a brief list of the events
starting with the day dream on the beach and as he looked at the list he saw
that where he had thought that the vision had preceded the event that it could
also be looked on the other way round for even before the first aura on the
beach Angela’s name had cropped up in an overheard conversation. He felt a bit
more relaxed as it seemed that it was just a form of auto-suggestion, perhaps
45

Déjà, Déjà Vu
preying on an overworked mind. There was still a niggling doubt that wouldn’t go
away. He cast this it aside and tried to focus on Angela’s attitude towards him;
he could understand a childhood romantic attachment to an older, uncle like,
man and if she was to be believed she had been about 7 when she first noticed
him, which made him 26 or 27 at the time, and he supposed a bit more hand-
some or dashing to a young person. The really bothersome fact was her contin-
ued, and, it appeared, obsessive continuation of the infatuation to her adulthood
and now her blatant and outright declaration of love with an almost fanatical as-
surance of his acquiescence. He could go no further along this train of thought
so started a third page with his own reactions. Pleasure certainly at seeing her
first at the weekend, surprise at the invitation to lunch coming so soon, excite-
ment at the peremptory invitation to the theatre and finally feeling of entrap-
ment that her visit to his house had engendered.
All that was the easy part and of course it didn’t tell him what he needed to
know about himself, and that was, his basic feeling for Angela. He was evading it
as men often do, confused between the desire for a younger woman, the conceit
of being in demand and, finally, the inevitable disruption to his comfortable way
of life and its habitual patterns. Giving up comfort for the excitement of the new
was something he would applaud in others, but felt that he might be too much
of a coward to accomplish it himself. The other question that occurred to him
was, if he tried to stem Angela’s advances, refused her invitations, what would
she do. He doubted that she would give him away so easily after her shadowy
pursuit of him all these years. He would have to end it definitively once and for
all or acquiesce; at this point he knew he was lost for there was no way he could
give her up at this juncture, she had timed her advance on him to perfection
He screwed up the paper and ruefully recognised that he had known the answer
all along and was just letting the left brain inform the right brain of the decision
and now asking the right brain to sort it out.
46

Déjà, Déjà Vu
The right brain sprang in to action and reviewed the possible outcomes of the
dinner that evening and how life would proceed when Melissa was back in town.
Of one thing he was sure, he was not going to make any abrupt decision about
his domestic arrangements until he was certain of the next step; he had been
there before and it had been a mess.
He decided to go on the attack and see what happened. He made his own se-
duction plan and whether it was at her flat, his house or an hotel he determined
to make love to her that night and see how they were situated after that. If that
was all she wanted, they could come out of it unscathed and if she wanted more
then he was prepared. It seemed that a life of deception was to be lived for a
while, which he had done in the past and had found it rather exhausting. He
surmised that in his present relationship (marriage) with Melissa that it would be
easier than previously, both because of her temperament, their rather occasional
love making and also her frequent absences to the remoter parts of the King-
dom. He wondered if he could take Angela with him on his trips to Europe and
the USA. Perhaps he would leave that for later.
That evening, Angela picked up his more relaxed manner instantly,
“Gab, you look good and I suspect that you’ve come to some decision, and no
doubt I’ll find out soon enough.”
He smiled, and told her that she looked beautiful and asked what would she
would like to drink.”
“A G&T thanks”
“And I’ll have boutique beer.”
he said with a malicious smile, I don’t want to be too predictable do I.
“Just be, Gab”, she said, “I’ll settle for that, you don’t need to play games with
me just be honest and all will be fine.”
47

Déjà, Déjà Vu
“I’ll drink to that in a reciprocal manner”, he replied, and they clinked glasses to
seal the bargain.
“Lets wander around Covent Garden shops before dinner” she suggested “they
have some nice clothes and ornaments that I like browsing through, and there
are some mens' stores and shoe shops as well.”
They strolled around until her eye lit on a pair of silver cuff links in the shape of
a tree, she lifted up his hand, which she had taken possession of as they left the
bar, and inspected his cufflinks. She lifted an eyebrow at him and promptly
bought them. Then without a word she replaced the ones he was wearing with
the new ones and said now we are truly a couple. As she was fiddling with the
links he saw on the stall a brooch in the same design and, with a series of nods
at the stall holder, conveyed the message that he would like the brooch, and the
stall holder was smart enough to guess his intentions, so that when she straigh-
tened up he was able to pin the brooch on her dress. She was caught off balance
but after a split second she threw her arms around him and started to sob.
“Oh Gab, I shall treasure it always come what may.”
While letting go of him to dab her eyes, he passed across the price of the brooch
to the stall-holder plus a generous supplement ,which was met with a smile and
wink, as if to say you’ll be alright tonight, and Gab thought that he was probably
right.
She was joyous and bubbly throughout the meal and when he said that he would
escort her home, she just nodded and they were soon alone in her apartment
and gazing out over the Thames. He put his arm around her waist, kissed her
passionately and asked,
“Angela, are you sure that this is what you want because things are moving ra-
ther fast.”
She laughed saying,
48

Déjà, Déjà Vu
“Gab, I’ve had plenty of time to think this through, its not you that should be
asking the question but me, though I can sense that you have come to some de-
cision, as I noted earlier.”
He took her hand and led her to the bedroom. Neither of them would forget that
first night for the rest of their lives. For her it was the culmination of an 11 year
dream and for him it was the most magical love-making that he had expe-
rienced. They lay enfolded in one another’s arms for a very long time
The next morning the alarm went off rather earlier than he was used to but he
was soon aware that Angela had set it some time during the night (unless she
had preplanned it) so that there was time for more love making before they set
off to their daily duties. She was quiet and demure when they rose and, after
showering, he said that he would have to go home for a fresh shirt, socks and
pants, whereupon she opened a drawer and he saw that she had the two of
each and when he tried them on they fitted perfectly. He wondered when she
had bought them; yesterday, last week, last year? it was a bit frightening but on
the other hand he knew this, and if she was secretly planning to seduce him why
not go the whole hog.
“Gab, I know that Melissa is due back today but I feel that we should find time to
talk before she arrives so that we know what we are both intending.”
“I agree”, he said, “but I forgot to tell you that when I was at Kate’s I phoned
Melissa, and she won’t be back until Sunday afternoon.”
Angela glowed,
“In that case Gab, after work why don’t you go home, pick up some clothes, di-
vert your to phone to your mobile and come back here until Sunday morning.”
He could not refuse, especially with the memory of the previous night still mak-
ing his body tingle. It was agreed and she said that she would cook her first
49

Déjà, Déjà Vu
meal for him that night. Life was moving apace and he was being carried along
as a log in a torrent, moving fast but not in control.
That evening she served a grilled salmon steak on a bed of rocket and with a
mixed salad to accompany it together with a 1990 Puligny-Montrachet Chardon-
nay. She was serious about her food and kept to a low fat diet with a controlled
use of carbohydrate, she told him, though there was the concession of warm
bread rolls. Dessert was fruit and coffee after which they sat on the sofa and she
looked at him, took his hands in hers, and said,
“Where to now, Gab.”
He wished the he knew but also knowing the question would have to answered if
only in the short term.
-- So started a new a life of deception and exhaustion, perhaps he could handle

it better this time if only he knew why he did it, and what was expected of him.
“Angela, I don’t intend to leave Melissa in the near future so whatever we do has
to be woven into my life in a manner that doesn’t disturb my equilibrium at
home. A the moment I manage to fill in my time both during the days and eve-
nings with work and leisure which, in part, means that Melissa and I socialise
and go to the theatre etc.”
“Oh Gab, of course I know that, but I’m hoping that with a little bit of manoeu-
vring you can squeeze me in to your routines so that we can get to know one
another more intimately,”
and here she giggled, as it occurred to her that intimacy was exactly what they
had and were experiencing at that moment.
“You know what I mean, but in contrast to most mistresses, I have prepared
myself for a disjointed life with you and have my own studies and amusements
that also keep me occupied 24/7 though it is, of course, more easy for me to re-
arrange my schedules at short notice that you can. I will never knowingly embar-
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
rass you, and will leave it to you to phone me, day or night, while Melissa is in
town.”
Just then his mobile phone rang and there was Melissa on the phone. The con-
versation, as always, was light and pleasant and almost content less, and it
ended with the promise of reunion late Sunday afternoon. After Melissa had rung
off Angela looked at him keenly and said,
“Gab, I think that you had better prepare some general explanations of your ac-
tions, especially if we are seen together. Perhaps we should be a little more cir-
cumspect in our choice of restaurants and other haunts, to minimise the risk but
if we are, then you will have to have an explanation ready. If Melissa is to find
out I would prefer it to be on our terms, as I’m sure you would.”
So they became conspirators. They decided to go out of town on the Saturday

and visit a book fair in Windsor and perhaps to view the Queen’s collection of
drawings and etchings. It was a delightful day and they both felt very comfort-
able with one another by the end of it, and, on their way back, to her flat picked
up some fish, chips and pickled onions and sat in domestic bliss with the aroma
of vinegar filling the flat. By Sunday morning they were becoming very close and
starting to understand one another’s needs and desires, so as the day drew on
and after a light lunch, he reluctantly called a taxi and made ready to depart.
They arranged for a lunch for the Tuesday, if his memory of his diary was correct
and after a passionate kiss and a few tears on her part, he started for home a
happy but confused man.
He was able to shower and change before Melissa returned and was at his com-
puter as she came through the front door. She had brought back a game pie for
dinner and a handsome tie for him. She had good taste and always hit the mark.
She related her week to him and it seemed that she was becoming more impor-
tant in the hierarchy of DEFRA and this consoled him somewhat in knowing that
she was receiving accolades from her peers; he almost thought of it as a com-
51

Déjà, Déjà Vu
pensation for his recent and projected infidelities. He passed of his own week as
a regular working week but remembering to talk a bit about the dinner with
Kate. He had covered his tracks and had left the new shirt for Angela to deal
with and had put her cuff links to the back of an study drawer. He could flourish
them later if he wanted to wear them, but surmised that he would probably only
put them on in Angela’s company.
The new life was about to begin and it was a mystery to him how one week
could change his life so completely, and yet his wife seemed oblivious to any
change in him. Was he that opaque or was she keeping her suspicions to herself.
The usual worry that he had experienced more than once in the past; was it just
a repetition, circling another attractor or was it something different. Time would
tell and the telling would be a surprise
*****
After he left, Angela sank back into the sofa with a glass of white wine (rather
less expensive than she had poured for Gabriel) and took stock. As far as she
was concerned, the plans that she had formed all those years ago were coming
together nicely. She had what she wanted, or nearly so, and she had no doubt
that in six months or a year she would have him as her husband or at the mini-
mum her live in lover. It had been a dream that had underpinned her for years
and kept her focussed on her future in spite of the fact that her parents had
sometimes worried that she was not socialising enough and hadn’t had a real
boyfriend though there had been many advances. However, they had to be con-
tent with the fact that she seemed happy enough and she dismissed their con-
cerns with a ‘Plenty of time for that. When Mr Perfect shows his face I’ll know’;
and that was that.
She knew that she was going to have to live with a greater ache than previously
since now that they had made love and lived together if ever so briefly she knew
what she was missing in concrete reality and that would be difficult.
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
He had been everything that she had desired and she could find no fault with
him and doubted that she ever would. It had started when she was seven and
the families had spent the afternoon together at the zoo. Gabriel was recently
married to his new wife, Kelly, and was full of life and sparkle. On returning to
the Margenau’s house in Hampstead they had sat in the garden for afternoon tea
and she had been attracted to him and sat on his lap while she did some draw-
ings and colouring-in while he told her funny stories that he made up as he went
along. He had felt safe and secure to her, but with a ready laugh and a way of
giving his attention to the other person so that they felt as if they were the only
one that counted. Coupled with the twinkle in his eye and rugged looks she had
felt that she had met someone special. After that day they met on three or four
occasions every year and the families spent a day together on some venture, to
the Natural History museum, to look at the dinosaurs or to a play in the park,
and he was always full of fun and attentive to everyone especially Kelly. She was
rather jealous of Kelly but it was just a nebulous feeling of being deprived. Kelly
now lived in Newcastle and Gabriel only saw her very occasionally when his work
took him north. He had split with Kelly when Angela was fourteen and although
she was unsure of the reason she found herself rather pleased that he was free
of entanglements until Melissa showed up before a year was out. Whether
Melissa was the cause of the breakup or merely a consequence she had yet to
find out; and she would, she was sure. Melissa was a bit of a mystery to Angela
for although the outings and dinners with her parents continued with Melissa
taking the place of Kelly she couldn’t fathom what held the relationship together.
Kelly was an obvious choice for Gabriel as she was light of spirit, good looking,
could hold her own in a discussion or argument and was a talented writer and
illustrator of childrens' books. Melissa was very different with her bureaucratic
job, organised, particular and precise. The house in Hampstead was now orderly
whereas before it was cluttered with books, magazines and an a mass of objects
that seemed to have rained down from nowhere. It felt sterile now to Angela and
53

Déjà, Déjà Vu
though she made an effort to get on with Melissa her heart was not in it. She
wasn’t sure how to compete until very late in the day when she observed that
Gabriel and Melissa were perfectly polite with one another but never touched or
seemed close. She then planned her attack. At first she thought to approach him
while Melissa was away on a DEFRA trip but her information was limited in that
respect and she also realised that he needed to be presented with a contrast be-
tween herself and Melissa; the opportunity came when her parents mentioned
the visit to their country cottage with Gabriel and Melissa so she invited herself
down for the Sunday dinner and an overnight stay. She timed her meeting with
Gabriel to perfection even if somewhat fortuitously; the country garb was de-
signed to highlight her fair hair and glowing health, albeit carefully and subtly
enhanced with a little make-up. Bumping into him as he was leaving the house
for the garden had brought him close up and face to face with her and she was
gratified to see the flash of appreciation on his face.
She had always wanted him just for himself, wanted all of him, wanted to know
all about him, wanted to be with him as in her mind she had been for the last
eleven years. She sighed and wondered about Christine that he had mentioned
as his first love all those years ago, just as she was coming in to the world, and
she felt jealous and excluded. She hadn’t told him, but she had met Christine on
Thursday before she met him and it had been a chance encounter. She had been
in the student union where there was a meeting of an environmental group
planning a march in opposition to fox hunting and she had drifted in, partly to
inform herself a bit more of Gabriel’s interests, when she heard his name men-
tioned just behind her. It was a woman in her late thirties, with a vibrant face,
having an animated discussion with a younger student about the abomination
that was the unelected House of Lords. They finished their conversation shortly
and the woman moved away; “Who was that.” she asked the student. “That’s
Christine Wolverton who is secretary of the anti-hunting league”; It was Gab’s
first love.
54

Déjà, Déjà Vu
Now on reflection she realised that she was jealous of Christine while at the
same time acknowledging the absurdity of being jealous of a love so long ago;
but, nevertheless, she was jealous and assumed that she would just have to live
with it. She tried to dismiss the thoughts and concentrate on the reality of the
present and how she was to live her life in the constant expectation of a phone
call and decided that they would have to have a daily routine so that neither of
them felt out of contact and furthermore that a continuity was preserved; easier
said than done as the trivia of many days doesn’t always translate over the
phone. She contemplated email but dismissed it as a treacherous form of com-
munication which is too easily misunderstood and too hard to retrieve an unfor-
tunate message once the send button has been pushed. Short SMS messages
can however be used to change plans at short notice and are more private than
an email to a workplace and less obvious than a phone call.
It seemed to her that she could begin by re-supplying a light touch in his life and
of course making love with him as often as possible. He hadn’t said anything but
she was guessing that his sex life with Melissa was almost non-existent and she
didn’t think that he was playing elsewhere at the moment. As in all things to do
with Gabriel she had planned carefully for although she was a virgin at their first
encounter she had taken the precaution of breaking her own hymen and even
masturbating a few times to get the hang of it and understand what it was all
about. It didn’t compare with the real thing but it did mean that they were
spared the pain and difficulties of her first experience.
She now looked forward with eager anticipation to their next frolic but also tried
to suppress her desire as much as possible because of the uncertainty of their
meeting. This would have to be rectified and to do that she would have to make
sure that he desired her above all else.
She thought carefully about their lives, where they lived and what expectations
were placed on him by his work and home life. She liked to leave as little as pos-
55

Déjà, Déjà Vu
sible to chance but at the same time be flexible enough to change plans on the
run. She could see that weekends were going to be difficult unless Melissa was
out of town so it would have to be a weekday and either an extended lunch or
an early evening affair and and at the start probably only once or twice a week.
She could handle this as she ought to be able to after waiting so long. It would
be a pity to rush at the last hurdle and knock it down.
She decided that she would phone him tomorrow and suggest a date knowing
that whatever time or place he suggested would also be ok with her.
*****
Melissa was sitting in her study sorting through the papers from her trip to Man-
chester; she was a senior manager in the Department for Environment Food and
Rural Affairs (DEFRA) and was responsible for coordination of some environ-
mental management programs around the country. It took her out of London
about one week in three but she didn’t mind, and in fact positively enjoyed it on
most occasions as it took her out of her office in Whitehall and enabled her to
meet a wide variety of people who were dealing with the environmental policies
in the field. Her seniority gave her first class travel, usually by train, and a decent
hotel room, plus more than enough to cover all other the expenses.
She paused in her sorting to contemplate Gabriel. It had been obvious to her the
previous weekend that something (and it had to be Angela) had affected him
and however he tried to cover it up there were always those subtle signs of a
shift in attention that manifest a fracture in life. It didn’t worry her at the time,
Angela had blossomed into a beautiful young woman and if Gabriel hadn’t no-
ticed that then his manhood was in question, and she knew for certain that it
was very much intact. What bothered her was that he had seemed so polite and
formal over the phone. She didn’t expect effusiveness on his part, that would
have been more suspicious, but it was just different as if he was controlling his
voice and his message because he was with someone else. The message was
56

Déjà, Déjà Vu
bland enough but somehow too bland; she didn’t expect details or, in a normal
week, any information about his work day. However, there was a difference and
that Angela had played some part in it was the obvious conclusion. She was a lot
smarter and perceptive and, even devious, than Angela had given her credit for
and she had decided to stay on an extra couple of nights to give Gabriel and An-
gela, if it was her, time to crystallise their situation. It also gave her time to go to
dinner with her counterpart in Manchester, which proved to be as interesting as
she had hoped. Her marriage to Gabriel was not open in the sense as often un-
derstood, but it was quite capable of withstanding small infidelities. They had
discussed this early on in their relationship and concluded that provided it was
not thrust in the face of the other, and was kept discreet, that it would more
than likely cement their bond rather than disrupt it. It had worked well and al-
though she had got wind of a few of his dalliances they never affected his rela-
tionship with her; he was always attentive and caring, listened to her when
needed, escorted her to films, plays and the opera, was pleasant and amusing to
her friends and was all in all a very interesting person to share a life with. They
had met at a dinner that was distributing awards for environmental services to
the nation and, since he was one of the recipients, and she was a senior official
in charge of the proceedings, they not only came into contact with one another
but quickly found that they had many tastes in common. It wasn’t long before
they were seeing quite a lot of one another and then after a short period after
she moved in with him they decided to get married. In retrospect, the marriage
part was probably unnecessary as they were quite happy as they were but it was
a spur of the moment decision, and she had had no cause to regret it, and didn’t
think that Gabriel had either.
Angela had got it wrong about their love life for although at the outset they had
decided on separate rooms so as to get a good nights sleep and not be tied to
one another’s patterns, they enjoyed a romp together (as they thought of it) on
a regular if less than frequent basis. A satisfactory relationship all round she
57

Déjà, Déjà Vu
thought but with a gnawing feeling that something fundamental had changed.
She would have to find out more about this new grown-up Angela and as soon
as possible in case she was the threat as feared. She returned to her work with a
new determination, and that was that she would fight for her man, as ferociously
as any disturbed tigress.
The next morning on her way to work she called in at a small detective agency
that she had used officially on occasions of employee misfeasance and asked for
a full and private report on her potential rival. She was not a woman to take
chances but in the end they were unable to come up with anything useful but
she suggested that they try again in a week or two.
*****
When Melissa returned, Gabriel felt that he acquitted himself well and was quite
relaxed, so when they went to bed he was pleased to have a romp and he found
that his recent encounter with Angela has put new fire into his body and Melissa
seemed to be fired up as well. Once again he slept the sleep of the innocent and
woke refreshed and energetic. He left home the next morning in the knowledge
that Angela would contact him when she was ready and since he had no lunch
time appointments that week (at least so far) he felt quite flexible to meet her
whenever she suggested.
The call came late morning on his mobile phone and his heart lifted as he heard
her young and lilting tones. She asked after him, and of Melissa, and being as-
sured that all was ok she said
“Gab, I’d like to meet you as soon as you are free and I’d really like to spend two
or more hours with you so we are not rushing and looking at the clock all the
time. If you can make an extended lunchtime tomorrow why not come over to
my place.”
He thought a moment then said,
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
“Better still why don’t I just leave work early and come over about 3.30. It will
save a return journey to central London and I can go home straight from your
place. Since I often have a drink with Kate after work, I can stay with you to
about 6.30, how does that sound. She glowed, though he could not see it, and
said
“Gab, that sounds perfect.”
He knew that he was going to have to draw Kate into the deceit, but this was
not a new thing, and when he approached her hesitantly she said,
“I’ve told you before, don’t worry, but be sure to let me know what I’m supposed
to be doing, and where, before you head off on any assignations.”
Gab was relieved, as he always was at Kate’s understanding and readiness to

take his part and wondered, not for the first time, if a suggestion from him would
not come amiss with her. He avoided that thought, as a friend is often more
valuable than a lover, and Kate and he went back a long way and, what’s more,
on reflection, he knew that he would do the same for her if the occasion arose.
He relaxed and felt that all was under control; it was, but not his.
That evening he had his drink with Kate as usual and went home to a relaxed
evening which included a steak and salad prepared by Melissa, a bit of work in
preparation for the next day and a short comedy sketch on the TV. He slept
soundly.
The following day he bought a snack bar and an apple on his way to the office
and by this means managed to work through his lunch hour so that by 3pm he
was able to leave without having neglected his duties. He reflected that he could
quite easily arrange for most Tuesdays, and even Thursdays, to follow this pat-
tern and keep his external commitments for other days; not always but if not
Tuesday then another day. And he was fairly sure that Angela could, or at least
would, do the same.
59

Déjà, Déjà Vu
The afternoon with Angela was a dream and by the time he left they had not
only spent a wonderful time in bed but had come to an agreement for future
weeks whereby they would manage at least one day and where possible two. A
simple SMS code was agreed on so that variations of the basic pattern could be
signalled and even a complete postponement when necessary. He left with a
light heart and stepped blithely most of the way home but pulled himself up and
sobered himself before entering the front door. Luckily, Melissa was late and he
had an extra 15 minutes to compose himself but unknown to him he was quite
transparent to Melissa. The signs he tried to hide were the wrong ones and a
grumpy exterior and a few complaints would have been a far better camouflage;
but who was she to tell him. She was beginning to realise that this affair might
not be like the others he had had from time to time and that she might have to
act in some way if she was to save the marriage which she valued. It wasn’t
clear yet what course she should take but knew that an outright confrontation
was not lilkely to be productive and might even be the reverse. She would have
to bide her time for a while.
Gabriel had arranged with Angela to arrive at the same time each Thursday and
once again it worked perfectly, only this time she became more adventurous with
him so that he was entrapped that little bit more, as was her plan and she would
increase the tempo a little each time, until he was finally defenceless. Over the
next two weeks she gradually increased her sexual attentions to him. For her it
was a process of discovery and, as he soon found out, she was willing to any-
thing and everything he desired. She invented her own variations which quite
took his breath away.
He felt himself quite torn between his desire for her and the relative tranquillity
of his previous life. His old patterns, were fast slipping away, and when a work
meeting in Milan was proposed for the following Tuesday he asked her to ac-
company him, which she accepted immediately, though they agreed to book two
60

Déjà, Déjà Vu
rooms with Angela paying for one of them. It seemed easy enough and he did
not have to dissemble at work or lie at home. He would merely meet her there
and they could have a secret rendezvous together. Simplicity itself and so it
turned out and that even the couple of people who noticed her there didn’t put
two and two together. Angela had also spied them it made her more cautious,
she wanted him but she wanted to extract him as cleanly and as undamaged as
possible from his present situation.
*****
Christine was walking out of Selfridges and headed towards Oxford Circus. On
impulse Angela abandoned her own shopping mission and followed. The weather
was rather miserable and Christine hurried down the road so that Angela wasn’t
able to put up her umbrella against the drizzle for fear that it would impede her.
A hatred started to well up in her as she thought of the love that had been be-
tween her Gabriel and this woman and perhaps was possible again for she had
caught a nostalgia in Gabriel’s voice when her name was mentioned. Christine
was still an attractive woman and since Gabriel had admitted that he met her
from time to time, she was still a threat as well as being a repository of love not
expended on herself. She continued to follow Christine across the road and into
Bond Street tube station and was immediately behind her as a train came into
the station. It was an east bound central line train so that it was going in the
same direction that Angela would have to take to get home. She had no particu-
lar plans other than shopping for a new winter coat so, on the spur of the mo-
ment, she decided to follow Christine just so that she knew who she was and
where she lived; somehow she felt that knowledge was power. Christine got off
at Tottenham Court Road and went to the north bound platform of the Northern
Line which was extremely crowded. Angela was close behind and during the brief
journey and her dislike, or hatred, for it was much stronger than dislike, of this
woman was growing every minute so that when the train was coming in to the
61

Déjà, Déjà Vu
station Angela eased her full-sized umbrella between the people in front of her
and placed it carefully in the middle of Christine’s back and shoved. Christine
staggered and with a scream fell in front of the train. There was instant pande-
monium and in the melee of screaming passengers Angela, pretending to retch,
slipped away unnoticed by practically everyone.
On leaving the station she walked quickly and north up Tottenham Court Road
until she came to a pub where she ordered a gin and tonic. Her heart slowed
down as she sipped the drink and she took stock of what she had done and
found that she not only had no remorse but that, besides feeling slightly dizzy,
she was actually a little euphoric and had a feeling of release. A potential rival
had been eliminated with little to no effort on her part and furthermore she felt
stronger in herself. She had acted to secure her man, and she was proud of it.
She took a taxi home and on arrival, poured herself another drink, and sat down
to analyse what she had done and what it meant to her. She had discovered an
Angela that she hadn’t known, ruthless and determined; she had suspected that
she was like this but, not having be put to the test before, she had no yardstick
to measure herself by. She found that she was steely in her determination to se-
cure Gabriel and to win at all costs. She now had to accept this new persona and
also ask herself how she would be with Gabriel now that she had murdered his
former lover; there was no immediate answer and she would only discover this
by living it.
The evening news was full of the fatality, and although there was no serious
suggestion of foul play and no explanation for the presumed accident, the police
were anxious to interview anyone who was close by, and particularly a young
woman in a belted raincoat and an elderly man with a walking stick. There were
plenty of women with belted raincoats but she resolved not to wear the raincoat
for a while and to finish off her shopping expedition for a new coat the following
day. She was a little perplexed at how little emotion she felt about the deed that
62

Déjà, Déjà Vu
she had done, but her primary goal, Gabriel, came back into sharp focus. She
began to prepare herself some food prior to some more study. It was done, be-
hind her, she would forget all about it.
*****
On Monday evening Gabriel heard of the accident on the TV news and thought
little about it since he hadn't taken in the name of the victim. That night after he
had said goodnight to Melissa and was in the process of brushing his teeth the
aura returned. It took him by surprise for it had been absent for the last two
weeks and he had assumed that it had been a virus that had given him halluci-
nations. This time it was as clear as in the previous manifestation and again he
saw the footsteps, but now intermingled with scraps of paper and photographs.
The sentinel was missing but then he saw that it was prostrate and as he looked
another figure began to emerge at the entrance of another pathway but it was
too faint for him to make much out. He tried to focus on the photographs and he
was able to work out that they were in black and white and were of a couple and
of groups of people but nothing more. The aura faded and he was left with the
feeling that it was important but had no idea why..
The following morning he picked up a newspaper left on a seat in the train and
read the front page story of the tube incident which contained the name of the
victim and, with a feeling of horror, he took in the name of the victim. Christine
his first, and sometimes he thought, his only real love. The manifestation of the
previous night was still fresh enough for him to connect this death with the ap-
parition and he felt sick not only because of Christine’s violent death but also be-
cause somehow he felt involved but could not fathom what his part in the drama
was. He wanted to tell someone but all the alternatives, Melissa, Angela, Kate,
Dick didn’t seem appropriate, so he was left to deal with the problem on his own.
63

Déjà, Déjà Vu
By the time he reached the office the strange feeling had become subdued and
he was just left with the sadness of Christine’s death. He told Kate and she put
her arm around him and comforted him as he shed a few tears.
“Gab, would you like me to arrange for a condolence to be sent to her home or
do you want to make your own arrangements. I’ll make enquiries about the fu-
neral and make sure that your diary is cleared so that you can attend.
He thanked her and asked her not to send a condolence, he would do that him-
self, but he would like to attend the funeral if possible. He knew, and was on
good terms, with Christine’s family and resolved to speak to them at the funeral
and share some of his love of Christine with them.
He went home straight from work and was glad to find that Melissa was there
before him. She had also noticed the name in the newspaper and had even met
Christine on a couple of occasions in his company. She went to him and consoled
him for she understood that a former love is an important part of a person even
if the hot flame had cooled over the years.
“I’ll come to the funeral with you if you wish, Gab.”
He thanked her saying that he would like her to accompany him and then they
remained in silence for a while as they pondered on the sudden death of a friend
and lover.
The next day he woke with a heavy heart as he remembered the tragic news and
then started up as he also remembered the aura. He was unable to deal with it
rationally and therefore it remained as a fear buried deep inside himself. He re-
membered his date with Angela and wondered how to tell her of his feeling of
loss and bereavement but in the long run he decided that he should be upfront
with it and express his grief as it felt to him at the time. She took it calmly and,
as with Melissa, comforted him and said how she understood his feelings and
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
was understanding when he said that he would be going to the funeral with Me-
lissa.
“Gab, you are still married and living with her; its her place to be by your side
not mine, though in truth I wish it were. I’ll be here for you whenever you need
me, and if you need me, always; I’ll be here always.”
He clasped her to him and felt more loved now than perhaps he deserved but
nevertheless he was quite prepared to revel in it so as to take away the grief he
was feeling. They lay down on the bed but refrained from love making and
though she was feeling strong and vibrant from the deed she had done she
played the tender and understanding lover perfectly. She had reeled him in one
more notch, removed some competition, and was now even more confident that
she would land him.
The funeral was set for Friday and so they agreed that this week they would for-
go their Thursday meeting so that he could accomplish all of his work tasks prior
to the funeral and get himself prepared for a trip to Newcastle where he was to
stay for three nights next week starting Tuesday. He couldn’t resist her request
to accompany him even though it was closer to home and there would be more
people from his own organization present, including Kate. And of course there
was also Kelly who he would have to see, wanted to see, for an evening if possi-
ble. Once again they agreed that she would book herself in to the same or a
nearby hotel and that they would spend as much time with one another as his
commitments allowed. For her part she said she had plenty of study to do, that
Newcastle was an interesting city and she would either act the tourist or go
shopping according to the weather and her inclination. He mentioned Kelly but
Angela dismissed this with a faint flutter of her finger, and said
“I know that you have a past and I don’t want to take you away from it, so see
her if you wish and I will amuse myself.”
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
He knew that Kate would have to be put in the picture since she would be in
charge of his diary and appointments and would wonder at his whereabouts if he
disappeared without an explanation. Kate was not fussed and said that as long
as he promised to keep his mobile phone switched on, other than at very per-
sonal moments, she would ensure that all went smoothly for him. She was natu-
rally very keen to see who Angela was because she intuited that this was some-
thing different from his previous flings.
The funeral was well attended and he was a little surprised to see Angela stand-
ing well back from the main throng and in a coat that he hadn’t seen before; a
bit overdressed for the mild end of September weather he thought. He put her
presence down to her love for him and smiled to himself at the thought and was
also pleased that Melissa hadn’t seemed to notice her; he was wrong in this sur-
mise. At the end of the service he looked around for Angela but she had disap-
peared so he waited a while to speak to Christine’s family and they agreed to
have lunch in a few weeks time and talk about Christine.
They returned home, buying a take away curry at their local Indian restaurant,
and then spent a quiet evening and weekend together; some gardening, shop-
ping and a video was all they managed besides a little light work and reading.
On the Tuesday he left work at 1pm to catch the 1:35 train to get him to New-
castle by 5pm. He had arranged to meet Angela on the train and to fill in some
of the time discussing The Cave as they had agreed to do a couple of weeks pre-
viously. Arriving at King’s Cross in plenty of time he was pleased to see Angela
ahead of him entering the first class carriage and he caught up with her as she
was putting her case on the rack. She gave him an enormous hug and kiss say-
ing,
“Oh Gab, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be going up north with you and
even to meet Kelly. Your old flames interest me so much.”
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
He wasn’t sure that he wanted to mix the old with the new but said nothing and
thought he would play it by ear at the time. He would try and avoid any meet-
ings between Angela with Kelly it if possible. It was never a good idea and al-
ways left him open to conversations he would rather not have.
The journey went by quickly as they discovered how much each of them had en-
joyed Saramago’s book, though both of them thought that the family group
should have stayed at the pottery , dug their heels in and made it work. They
resolved to choose another book for discussion on their return to London. On ar-
riving at Newcastle they risked a joint taxi but asked the driver to stop 20 yards
down the street from the Marriott Hotel and for Angela to go to reception first
with him to follow in 5 minutes. They would contact one another by mobile
phone in 30 minutes.
He had chosen a room with a double bed and the room itself was as comfortable
as expected for the price, with the usual mod-cons of a an en suite bathroom,
mini bar, desk, lounge and even a balcony, though the view was just that of the
nearby street. He phoned her and it turned out that she was just two doors away
and was knocking at his door almost before he had put the phone down. He was
about to say that perhaps they should have a drink and talk about the days
ahead when she said,
“First things first, Gab”,
and promptly took off her clothes and started on his. He couldn’t have resisted
even if he had wanted to and his body certainly didn’t want to. They quickly lost
themselves in one another; they surfaced a while later, checked the mini bar and
found two small bottles of champagne at some exorbitant price, but then price
somehow didn’t seem to matter. He was glad that Melissa and he had decided to
look after their own finances when they got married and to share the main ex-
penses of running the household. It had been her suggestion and he was never
sure whether it was just an independent woman speaking or whether she was
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
more farsighted that him. It did mean that his indiscretions, and perhaps hers,
were kept private as well as preserving for both of them a sense of indepen-
dence which they both valued.
After toasting one another in an arm lock embrace, they sat in bed sipping their
drinks and Gabriel outlined what his commitments were for the following days
which mainly consisted of meetings during the day on Wednesday, Thursday and
Friday morning leaving him free in the evenings. He felt that he would have to
have at least some drinks with his fellow committee members on one of the
evenings and the other for a meal with Kelly. This was going to be the difficult
part he felt but to his surprise Angela was quite accommodating,
“Gab, just go and catch up with her and I’ll see you later. Come back at a rea-
sonable hour so that we can have a little time to ourselves.”
“OK, that sounds good and if I’m free I’ll phone you during the day for lunch.”
He picked up his mobile and called Kelly and Angela heard him make an ar-
rangement to meet in the hotel lobby bar the following evening at 6.30pm. Fi-
nishing their drink they, left the hotel to find a good restaurant and afterwards a
club until they felt like returning, which they both assumed was likely to be earli-
er rather than later.
The next morning Angela left his room at 6:30am so as to give him time to orga-
nise himself and go to the breakfast room where he might expect to see some of
his colleagues. She would have breakfast in her own room. The morning was
much as Gabriel expected and they got through their agenda at a pace so that
there was a couple of hours before the start of their afternoon session; he
phoned Angela only to find that she was at the other side of town in a museum
and that there wasn’t time to meet up. He was not sure whether he was disap-
pointed or relieved but quickly arranged to join some of the others for a lunch in
the hotel.
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
That evening, Gabriel phoned her at 5.45 and Angela went to his for a quick kiss
and drink in his room. Then it was time for him to prepare to meet Kelly so she
left him saying,
"I’ll leave you to get changed and I”ll take myself off for a burger and the cine-
ma as there’s a film showing locally that I’ve been meaning to see; I don’t think
that it’s your cup of tea so I’ll take the opportunity to see it while you are tied
up.”
However, she had observed that the hotel had a mezzanine floor overlooking the
lobby and she retired there with a drink and sat herself in the shadow of a pot
plant so that she both had a good view of the lobby but was not too obvious
from below. She set her camera on zoom, placed it beside her and waited. She
wasn’t sure why she wanted to observe them but the desire for knowledge and
control was inherent in her nature and, when living at home, she would pry into
her parents affairs and would have done so with her brother’s but he was aware
of her nosiness and kept private things locked away. The camera was an after-
thought and it would enable her to have a good look at Kelly in private later on.
She saw Gabriel come down and seat himself in full view of the entrance. It
wasn’t long before Kelly came through the revolving door and Angela knew who
it was instantly, mid-thirties, short fair hair, confident, smiling and in control. It
was only a moment before Gabriel and Kelly saw one another and they came to-
gether with arms outstretched and gave one another a hug, a full kiss and a look
of appreciation that spoke volumes. Angela saw that they were still very close to
one another and suspected that they got together, when they were in the same
part of the country; and not just for dinner. He gestured towards the bar but
Kelly shook her head and they were soon gone but not before Angela had taken
a few photos of Kelly by herself, as she paused on entering the hotel, and more
of them together. She didn’t know why she wanted them but they seemed ne-
cessary in getting to know and hold Gabriel.
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
She returned the camera to her room and then went down the road to a pasta
restaurant, with a book in her bag to read over a solitary dinner. As always she
was propositioned by young, and not so young men, but she was an expert in
shrugging them off, and managed to finish her dinner in peace and also in time
for a romantic comedy showing at a local cinema a few blocks away.
She returned about 10.30pm and on calling Gabriel’s room number was surprised
to find that he had returned already and was more than ready to see her. She
was with him in less than a minute and after a prolonged kiss they sat out on the
small balcony with a glass of wine. She didn’t ask him about his evening but
there was no need as he told her of Kelly’s increasing success with her childrens’
books and there was a bit of pride in his voice that Angela found very irritating.
“She’s coming down to London next Tuesday to take part in a book and writers
festival at the Hyatt near Marble Arch, and will be staying three nights. She’s to
receive an award for the best illustrator of children’s books in 2003 on the Tues-
day night and I’ve agreed to go and support her and join her table at the dinner.
I hope you don’t mind this once but I’ll have to forgo my visit to you that after-
noon” and seeing the look of disappointment on her face he promised to make it
up to her.
What he didn’t know was that Angela had had a big shock because what she had
seen and surmised when Gabriel and Kelly had met in the hotel lobby was now
confirmed. It was apparent that Kelly was an active rival, and while she was liv-
ing in Newcastle it didn’t seem to matter, but with the visit next week, and the
future possibilities that it opened up, Angela knew that something needed to be
done. At this stage it was just a feeling without an action plan. The rest of the
evening was spent in a bit more chatter as she told him about the film and finally
to bed, which was as exciting and fresh to her as on the first night. She was
learning of his needs and desires and was becoming expert at satisfying them.
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
She left his room early, as she had the previous morning, after making plans to
see him at about 7.30pm, giving him time to have a few drinks with his col-
leagues. They would go out for a meal at a harbour-side restaurant and then on
to a night club. On returning to her room and again having a room service break-
fast, Angela sat down at her table and decided to review the situation with Ga-
briel.
The incident with Catherine (for that’s how she thought of it rather than as a
murder) was in the past and almost forgotten. She had given it some thought
after the funeral, but it had seemed like a bad dream that had faded and was
lost in the mist of memory. The newspapers had not followed up on the story or
mentioned the woman in the belted raincoat again so if there had been a mo-
mentary fear it also had vanished and she was left feeling safe in her campaign
to procure Gabriel completely for herself.
Kelly presented a new problem and Angela realised that if anything was to be
done it wasn’t going to be the result of a fortuitous happenstance, therefore, it
was going to be up to her to make something happen. The problem as she saw
it was simple. She wanted Gabriel to herself and, besides the minor problem of
his current marriage which Angela was sure a trivial since Melissa hardly seemed
to offer what Angela had, youth, healthy good looks plus a passionate desire for
all things Gabriel, everything was going to plan. She guessed that the breakup
between Kelly and Gabriel might have had more to do with the problems of living
together than their deeper feelings for one another and such differences could
be overcome quite easily. Angela wondered if Gabriel, and perhaps Kelly even,
had been talking about joining up again. Their body language certainly didn’t rule
it out and the Tuesday dinner added to her uncertainty. She did wonder how Me-
lissa took to Kelly, and would have been surprised if she had known that they
were good friends and were comfortable in one anothers presence, and with Ga-
briel present as well.
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
It seemed to Angela that she would have to do something about Kelly very soon
if her plans were not to go off the rail. Kelly’s visit to London visit was too good a
chance to miss. Having thought that, she concluded that she was going to have
to dispose of Kelly and therefore all that remained was to plan how to do it.
There was a feeling of dissociation that seemed to legitimise her course of ac-
tion, she knew that she had committed murder, was planning another, but
somehow it didn’t seem to matter; it was just Angela reaching out for what was
rightfully hers. She shook her head to dispel these wooly thoughts and get hear
brain into gear.
Angela was a very bright person intellectually and had read enough fact and fic-
tion to understand that the police are also very clever, very experienced in what
she was not, and had the backup of forensic, psychological and other profes-
sionals at their call. She knew that she would have to plan very carefully and she
only had five days to do it if it was all to be accomplished while Kelly was in
town. She reached for a pen and paper and at the same time made her first de-
cision, and that was that whatever she wrote was to be memorised and then the
paper destroyed. Furthermore that when she wrote it, it was to be on a single
sheet of paper placed on a hard surface.
She tore a page from the pad and placed it on the glass top of the hotel room
desk. Where to start? She made some headings which came down to How,
When, Where and an alibi, the last being troublesome not because she was wor-
ried about how to explain her whereabouts, but because there was the possibility
that if the police found out about her, perhaps through Gabriel, then Melissa
would be alerted and she didn’t want that yet. She had dismissed Melissa from
her equations, but also knew that she would have a struggle to break those
bonds which are formed between two people that go beyond love, and rest in
daily habit, and the known as opposed to the unknown that she was offering. At
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
the moment that was out of her control, and in the future, so she started on the
immediate tasks.
Which room would Kelly have at the Hyatt hotel? There was nowhere else that
Angela would have the chance of finding her alone while Kelly was in London. If
all this failed, or proved to be too difficult, then she would have to venture back
to Newcastle to accomplish her mission, and that could prove even more of a dif-
ficult task.
‘When’ was also had limited options, and Angela thought that it had to be in the
hotel and after the award dinner so that Gabriel was not drawn in to any investi-
gation, or even perhaps be the person to find Kelly if he happened to go to her
room prior to the ceremony. This meant that Wednesday was going to have to
be the day, and probably in the evening.
‘How’ was a very difficult problem. Anyone who reads fiction knows the saying
that a criminal always leaves something behind to incriminate themselves and
that criminals, like Angela, thought that they could make this a false boast. The
mode of killing had to be so simple so that there was no means of tracing any-
thing back to Angela, even if she were to be investigated. The absence of a crim-
inal record, on her part, and the lack universal DNA bank in the UK meant that
they would not find her by that means, though once suspected there would be
danger. The simplest solutions are often the best, she thought, and decided that
a whack on the head followed by asphyxiation was possible, if the weapon was a
common item and the asphyxiation was done while Kelly was unconscious. Per-
haps stuffing her mouth with a bathroom towel, or flannel, and holding her nose
for several minutes. It sounded easy enough so far, and Angela planned this as
she would an experiment in the dissection laboratory and with no more emotion.
The real problem was how to get in to the room with Kelly, and Angela reflected
that she would have to disguise herself as an hotel employee and arrive at Kelly’s
room with something that would cause Kelly to invite her in. She contemplated
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
the room she was currently in at the Marriott Hotel and tried to decide who she
would let in; her conclusion was anyone who claimed to service or stock her
mini-bar; perhaps a maid with new towels (unless she had not soiled them when
she would send the person away), and then she fell flat; what else? Then she
had a real flash of inspiration. What about a complimentary bottle of champagne
and perhaps some nibbles. Who could resist a free bottle of champagne and
even if they didn’t want one now, or even if you were a teetotaler, the gift was
hard to refuse. It also solved the problem of the chance that Kelly had someone
else in her room, the being the case she would have to leave the champagne
and exit gracefully. She prayed that Gabriel wouldn’t be there though it was un-
likely since he would have spent the previous evening with Kelly. The scene need
some refining since Angela had to get into the room, deposit the champagne and
catch Kelly unawares, though signing a docket could provide a distraction and
Kelly would hardly be on her guard.
So there was the outline of her plan and she wrote down:
• gain entrance to the hotel room with a gift bottle of champagne
• hit Kelly hard on the head while signing a docket
• close the door
• stuff something in her mouth
• close her nostrils and wait 5 minutes
• pick up everything she had brought with her
• exit carefully
Stage one of the planning was now complete. She reviewed the outline and tore
off another sheet of paper. As she was about to write there was a knock at the
door and she jumped, with her heart beating fast, but she took a couple of deep
breaths, covered the sheet she had written on, and opened the door. It was
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
merely a call for her breakfast tray and she studied the young woman’s demea-
nor as she crossed the room to pick it up. Smiling, assured and competent; she
could be that, it was her second nature, and with an id tag at her waist.
So much for the beginnings, she thought, now comes the detail. First the neces-
sities. She would need an approximation to the uniform of the Hyatt Hotel; a visit
on Saturday should suffice to check the staff uniform, room layout, public toilets
and other rooms and nooks that might come in handy. She could also check out
the cutlery, trays, glasses and serviettes (and perhaps steal one if she had lunch
there) and acquire some literature from which she could fake an id tag with the
help of her laminator if she bought a packet of business card size laminating
pockets. The actual weapon (and using rubber gloves) was a tricky one since she
would have to carry it in without it showing it, or making her awkward in her
movements, but at the same time easy to bring into action.
Angela had been pondering the plan of action in such a focused manner that she
started in surprised when her mobile phone rang and she saw that Gabriel was
on the line.
“Hi Gab”
she said, before he had a chance to speak, and he was caught off guard for a
moment.
“Hi Angela, I’m finished for the morning and was wondering where you were, if
you’re not nearby, I’ll go to the gym otherwise we could have a bite to eat.
“Oh Gab”, she lied, “I developed a headache over breakfast and have been
sleeping if off though I’m glad to say its just about gone now, so if you like I can
come to your room in ten minutes and we could have a salad or something out
on the balcony. I don’t really feel like going down to the restaurants if that’s ok.”
and, she reflected, the less time being seen in his company the better, for she
had to assume that the police would be digging into his past and present follow-
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
ing Christine's death. So it was agreed that they have lunch in his room but
something Gabriel had said rang a bell and it solved the next bit of the puzzle for
her. The gym has weights on a bar and the small barbells had a steel rod of
about the right size for her purpose; better than a piece of the traditional lead
piping, if that was still an available item which she doubted, and easy to buy
anonymously. She freshened herself up, disarranged the bed to make it look as if
she had been sleeping there, and went to his room. He was gentle and solicitous
and she allayed his concerns by saying that it the headache was gone now. They
had a pleasant lunch and reaffirmed their date for 6.30 and he left for his meet-
ings. She decided to go out and get some fresh air and for a wander around the
BALTIC Museum for Contemporary Art and a wander along the river. There
would be quiet spots for her to contemplate her plan in peace, well away from
Gabriel and the hotel, so she left unobtrusively and walked to the gallery. She
spent sometime at the gallery since she was attracted to all things contemporary
and found the installation art to her taste though it wasn’t take home art in gen-
eral. After having a soft drink at the cafeteria she bought a bottle of mineral wa-
ter and walked over the millennium bridge and along the quayside until she
found a shaded and unoccupied seat; she settled down and reordered her
thoughts.
She had a place, a method, a rough plan of action so what else was there to
think about. The hardest from an information point of view was how to find out
the number of Kelly’s room; she felt that there might be three possibilities which
didn’t involve her asking at the hotel reception though she could still do this if
she attempted it on the Tuesday which should be far enough removed from the
Wednesday for her request to be lost in the bustle of a busy hotel. But it was
risky since the police would be questioning everyone and her looks could easily
cause a red-blooded young, or not so young, male to remember her, and women
too, unless of course she disguised her hair which was her most striking feature
at first glance. Going from blond to a light brunette might do the trick if she
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
could find a wig in time and perhaps now was the time to act since she was
away from home. Another alternative would be to wait for Kelly to appear and
to go up in the lift with her and follow her to her room and act as if she herself
was going to another. If she dressed smartly there was no reason for Kelly to
give her another glance and when she appeared at Kelly’s room the following
day it would be assumed by Kelly that she was hotel staff; it sounded good if she
could work out when Kelly was likely to arrive and that was unknown at present.
There was always the possibility that Gabriel would let slip some information but
that was leaving too much to chance and, in any case Kelly, would not know her
room number until her arrival, though she would be seeing Gabriel between ar-
rival and the time of the deed. It sounded like a dead end.
She roused herself and walked along the quayside in the direction of central sta-
tion where she felt that she would find the information she needed about wig
shops in a telephone directory. At the station she picked up a timetable in case it
might come in useful if her current plans didn’t work out, and also because she
didn’t want to use the internet for searching in case investigations got too close
to home, but she would have to remember to ditch it in time and in the mean-
time to keep it out of sight of Gabriel, which would not be difficult but had to be
remembered. She found the address of a wig shop within a 20 minute walk of
the station, phoned from a pay-box to check it was open and enquired about the
cost upon which she withdrew enough cash from an ATM, and went there imme-
diately. Her short hair turned to her advantage since the wigs she tried sat easily
on her head. She chose one with medium length brown hair and tied in a pony-
tail. It changed her appearance quite markedly, so she paid for it with cash and
it was cheap enough to go unnoticed in her finances if anyone were to look.
She now felt that she was part of the way to dealing with ‘the problem’ and since
she was in the Eldon area she had a look around and wandered into a sports
shop to look at weights, though she did not intend to buy one as it would be a
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
bit difficult to take back to London unobtrusively, but just to check whether what
she had envisaged was correct. It was just as she had thought and she decided
to buy one on the Saturday afternoon somewhere in Oxford Street which was
about as anonymous as it was possible to get. She could also buy any clothes
and shoes for her staff impersonation if she checked the hotel out in the morn-
ing. At this point she found that she was rather tired and as it was 4pm she de-
cided to return to the hotel so that she could rest a little before meeting Gabriel.
She hired a taxi and took the same precaution, as on their arrival, of stopping 20
yards short of the hotel entrance and made her way in by the side entrance. On
reaching her room she tried on the wig once again and decided that it would do
the job perfectly, then she lay down on top of the freshly made bed, set the
alarm for 5.45, and dozed off.
Awaking at the sound of the alarm, she got up and had a shower and then set
out to make herself as alluring as possible. She had brought with her a beautiful
designer dress that she had bought in a moment of weakness some months ago,
before she had first approached Gabriel at the cottage, but with him firmly in
mind as she did so. Tonight would put it to the test. It showed off her slim figure
to perfection and was cut low enough to attract any male without looking tarty.
Her jewelry was minimal as her glowing health was all that was required to off-
set the dress.
He phoned her at 7.30 promptly, which showed the strength of his desire, but
that was alright with her and she told him to knock on her door in 15 minutes.
She was actually ready to go but thought that 15 minutes was about the right
amount of time to enhance his anticipation. She sat at the table in front of the
mirror with her bag and make-up exposed as if putting on the final touch. He ar-
rived 20 minutes later and on opening the door to him he gasped,
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
“Angela you are the image of perfection and I could kiss you all night but I guess
that I had better not rumple your dress and make-up though I’m sorely
tempted”,
so he gave her a light kiss on the cheek and after gathering up her bag and
shawl, they left for the evening. They exited by a the side door because although
neither of them was averse to showing off their new partner, albeit for different
reasons, it was decided that this was certainly not the time or place.
The evening was simply marvelous for both of them and after a sea food dinner
and expensive wine they moved on to a night club where they were both de-
lighted to find that they had rhythm together and they were carried away by the
music and exuberance of the crowd. On their return they spent a night together
that they would remember for a very long time.
*****
Gabriel had some meetings in the morning so they left in the early afternoon for
London. Since they were both rather exhausted, as well as exhilarated from the
previous night, they spent a companionable ride home just gazing at the coun-
tryside and even dozing off from time to time. As they approached London she
said,
“Gab, I’ll catch a taxi at the station and go straight home, and you can do the
same. its been a wonderful few days and well, I love you so much I want to be
with you always, but we must take it slowly.”
“Angela” , he replied, “I am falling for you fast but am in a bit of a muddle emo-
tionally and agree that we should take our time to ensure, that whatever hap-
pens, no one will be hurt more than is inevitable.”
If only he had known what the future held.
It was true, Gabriel, thought, I am in a muddle and its not for the first time in
my life, and then it occurred to him that the Auras were from his past as well as
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
the present and it seemed to him that they were trying to warn him about the
current affair with Angela. He pondered on this but couldn’t decipher the mes-
sage and with their infrequent appearance the exact memory of them faded suf-
ficiently between each manifestation for him to lose the thread. In rational
thought he took stock. He had, in the space of a few days, spent time with his
wife, Melissa, his first love, Christine, his previous wife, Kelly, and with the new
and most exciting arrival, Angela, who had burst into his life like a meteorite on a
cloudless and moonless night. She was still streaking across his sky and he won-
dered when the meteorite would land on earth and extinguish itself, if at all.
Gabriel had had minor affairs and encounters with innumerable women through-
out his life, and they all meant next to nothing to him in the larger game of his
life, except for the four he had been with over the last weeks and Beth who he
had not seen for a while. It seemed then that perhaps he should contact her
again for old times sake. He had after all lived with her for several years, until
she became irritable with domestic bliss and become firmly bitten by the travel
bug. She went backpacking around the world and finally arriving in Australia
where she stayed for the best part of a year. He always got cards from her at his
work address, and replied when she thought to give him a return address. She
had returned to the UK a year ago and was now living just outside Oxford on a
small farm with several other women. She had always had an alternative lifestyle
streak in her and now with the farm producing organic vegetables she had found
her haven. Gabriel had a soft spot for all those in the environmental movement
that lived an alternative life style, and especially for Beth who had brought the
flavour of it into their shared house all those years ago. She was plumper than
most of the other women in his life, casual and detached, but she was so full of
good humour and health that he fell in love with her and still regretted some-
what that the her travel itch had separated them.
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He hadn’t seen her for several years so when he had been to Oxford, eight
months previously, for a conference, he renewed contact. He had stayed at
Queens College in one of the small student rooms, with rudimentary facilities at
the bottom of the stairs, and with his room on the top floor. He had phoned her
and they had a meal in a pub near the college and without much being said they
had drifted back to his room. There wasn’t a lot to say and they just went to bed
as if it had been yesterday and rediscovered some of the forgotten pleasures
that they had enjoyed years ago. There was no commitment and it was just a
resurrected memory for them to carry through their lives so as to make sense of
the past, the present and the future. They made no future plans other than to
look one another up when in the vicinity, though they both felt pleasantly nostal-
gic enough to want a repeat performance one day. He resolved to meet up with
her again soon, whether in Oxford or London he was unsure, but knew that if it
were to be Oxford it would not be hard to concoct and excuse to get there over-
night. Melissa knew, and had once met, Beth and though not as friendly with her
as with as with Kelly, she felt no threat coming from her and understood what
she had provided for Gabriel in his early twenties.
Gabriel’s weekend was low key and he occupied himself with a few jobs around
the house, a bit of shopping with Melissa plus a visit to a nursery, followed by a
personal debriefing of the Newcastle papers and meetings on the Sunday after-
noon and evening. He found his thoughts straying to Angela for she had com-
pletely bowled him over on the Thursday night and he found that he ached for
her. Kelly’s visit and the dinner on Tuesday also excited and confused him
though he was uncertain here as to what he either of them wanted or expected
from the encounter, but the hint of possibilities made his blood run slightly faster
and he wondered if this was betraying Angela, or whether it was none of her
business. In his heart he recognised that Melissa had a far stronger hold on him
than Kelly but, like magnets, the strength of the attraction was somewhat pro-
portional to their proximity. He hadn’t made a commitment, had he? ‘falling for
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you’ is just a figure of speech after all and he hoped that Angela hadn’t derived
too much meaning from it but he would have to be more careful in future and
only say what he really meant, for Angela was far too in love with him for care-
lessness on his part.
*****
When Angela arrived back at her flat after the trip to Newcastle she instinctively
knew that someone had been in the flat. She checked her flatmates room but
there was nothing to suggest that she had returned from her latest trips. She
wasn’t due back for another couple of weeks and so far her schedule had never
been broken. So she unpacked her bag, opened a window and went into the
kitchen to make a cup of tea, and there on the bench top was a note from her
brother, Tony.
‘Hi Ang, Sorry to have barged in but I was passing and would have called by my
mobile battery was flat. I thought I’d come up anyway but you weren’t in but as
I badly need a pee I made use of your loo. Hope that was ok. Call me when you
get back. Tony’
Typical of Tony she thought. She’d given him her key and she had his, but that
was just to keep the parents happy and only to be used in real emergency situa-
tions. He hadn’t thought to put a date on the note so it could have been anytime
while she was in Newcastle. She checked the phone and was relieved to find that
there were no messages from him and he didn’t appear to have called. The fact
that he was aware of her absence was only a a slight worry because she could
have been anywhere and she didn’t believe that he would have known of Ga-
briel’s trip to Newcastle, unless, of course, he had called Gabriel. It was all get-
ting too hypothetical so she dismissed it from her mind after noting that there
were always possibilities that were unplanned.
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Nevertheless, she decided to check the flat more thoroughly to see if he had
been poking around. There was nothing obvious except that her computer distri-
bution board was plugged in at the wall and it was her custom to unplug it at
night and if she went away. She was a bit paranoiac about loss of documents
and data and protected her computer in all possible ways from anti-virus soft-
ware to firewall router to unplugging in case of a lightning strike. Switching on
the computer she waited a moment for it to get to the password protect, which
he couldn’t possibly know, though he was very proficient with computers and
might have managed to by-pass it. Immediately on logging on she carefully
looked at the access dates of several system files and found that a couple of
them showed dates when she was away. He had been digging around in her
computer, but for what purpose?
Angela was not worried that he would find anything because she had agreed
with Gabriel that they wouldn't use emails because of the lack of security in his
office and home. The rest of her computer files were entirely innocent, if looking
at photos of young male pop-stars didn’t count.
The conclusion she came to, and it made her a bit frightened, was that Tony was
after something he could hold over her. He must have guessed about her liaison
with Gabriel since she had made no secret to him, at least in earlier times, that
she was enamored of him and perhaps Gabriel had told him of their meetings.
She now feared that Tony was somehow going to use this knowledge to black-
mail her into supplying him with more funds.
Luckily, Tony had his own secrets and didn’t realise that Angela was quite aware
of his drug habit. So, he could be silenced, but it was not a situation of her
choosing. She decided to ring him to try and find out where he was coming from
and slow him down
He answered almost at the first ring and to her mind sounded a bit drunk,
“Hi, who is it, Tony here”,

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“Angela”
“Ah, my darling sister, who’s wondering what I’ve been up to. Of course, the
question has its obverse.”
“I’ve just been out and about with friends these last few days, and you?”
He gave a small laugh, saying
“Yes, there are many friends in life, and some more important than other.
She wouldn’t bite, and replied
“Ok Tony, what’s this all about. You aren’t the one to come calling, especially
unannounced. I assume that there is something on your mind that you want to
talk to me about. Is it our parents?” she said disingenuously,
“No, don’t be silly Ang, I’m in great need of a few quid until I finish a commis-
sion. I’m sure that you can spare a bit of Aunt Isobel’s loot as a loan for a month
or two.”
“Don’t start that again, Tony, you know perfectly well why Aunt Isobel left it to
me. If you’d just tried a bit, and not sighed every time she repeated herself, you
might have got a bit more.”
Angela had received quite a substantial sum and Tony just enough to pay for a
new motorbike. She continued,
“How much are you after, I can’t spare much because as you well know, I spent
the bulk of the inheritance on this flat and the rest has to get me through medi-
cal school, which doesn’t come cheap and goes on for a long time.”
“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point but I really need 5000 pounds as soon as possi-
ble.”
Angela went cold. He was obviously in debt over his drug use, as she didn’t think
that he was a gambler. It was a toss up. If she paid, it would never end and if
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she didn’t she would have an enemy right on her doorstep. She had to compro-
mise,
“I don’t like the sound of this, Tony. What would mum and dad say if they knew
about your drug habits? and, for that matter, what would your clients say? I
can’t possibly lend you 5000 but I’ll let you have 1000, and don’t argue else I
might change my mind. I don’t want any part of this and I don’t want my flat
broached again and my computer searched.” She heard him about to defend
himself, and came back quickly wit, “Don’t, just don’t, deny it. I might not as
computer savvy as you but I can still work out when a clumsy attempt has been
made on my computer. If you pry into my private life then you can expect a lot
of other people prying in to yours. Let’s keep out lives apart as much as possible,
and then we might get on a bit better. Capiche!”
“Ok, little sister, message received. The 1000 will help, when can I get it?”
“I’ll meet you tomorrow at the Green Man at 2pm but I won’t be staying for a
drink.”
“See you then, Ang.” and he rang off.
The Green Man was a pub just off Oxford Street and she figured that she could
fit it into her schedule of visiting the hotel and doing the necessary shopping.
Tony wouldn’t have wanted to have a drink in any case so the transaction
shouldn't take more than 10 minutes. She’d have to visit a teller machine tonight
and then again tomorrow, to raise the 1000, so as not to go over her limit. She
actually had a considerable amount more in the bank that Tony realised because
part of Aunt Isobel’s bequest came as jewelry, and at auction it had fetched
much more than initially anticipated because it had a greater antique value than
her family knew. She hadn’t let on what she had received and was really quite
well off. The 1000 was a cheap price to keep Tony quiet, and coupled with her
threats would , in her estimation, keep him quiet. If he got really desperate it
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might be another matter, but she hoped this would be sufficiently far in to the
future for her to be able to forget about it for a while.
On the other side of the transaction, Tony was quite relieved. He had got most
of what he was after, and although Angela had warned him off, he was sure that
he could tap her for more but might have to wait a month or two before trying
her again. She had sounded quite defensive he thought; she had always had a
brittle side to her but he could tell that something had changed and he was sure
it was Gabriel. He couldn’t afford to get on the wrong side of Angela but he
would have to try and gain more intelligence about Gabriel, and for the moment
the two main sources were Gabriel himself and his parents, not that he thought
it very likely that they would have any better than second or third hand know-
ledge. Dad sometimes worked with Gabriel so some gossip might come his way
via that route. He’s keep them both in his sights just in case.
*****
On Tuesday, Gabriel, had a phone call from Kelly at about 3pm to say that she
was at the hotel and installed in her room. They made an arrangement to meet
in the hotel lobby at 6pm for a drink and a chat before the main banquet and
presentations started. He was surprised that the banquet was on the first day of
the conference, but she put him straight, saying that the conference had started
on the Monday but she had had to miss the first two days because of other
commitments (or would have found it boring, Gabriel, was thinking).
Then he rang Angela since because he was feeling a bit sorry for her, in that he
had canceled their regular arrangement. He found that she was nonchalant and
wished him a good time and said that she hoped to see him on Thursday, and he
affirmed that he’d be there at the usual time. He had brought a change of
clothes to work with him so as to avoid returning to Hampstead, and then setting
out again, for traveling around London was to be avoided, or minimised, when-
ever possible. At 5.30 he left the office for the writers banquet at the Hyatt hotel,
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and was soon sipping a drink with Kelly and as he found out, quite a few admir-
ers of her and her work. He wasn’t going to have her to himself at the start of
the evening, if at all.
The evening went well, Kelly received her award ,for her work in illustrating chil-
drens’ books, to great applause and she made a very good and encouraging
speech in thanks. She had become a accomplished speaker and quite famous in
her area Gabriel noted and found himself glad for her and a little sorry that she
had escaped from his life. On returning to the table Kelly sat next to him and,
euphoric with her success, asked him what he thought of her new fame. Kelly, I
always knew that you were fantastic and I now see that that the rest of the
world has caught up with me. She gave a complicit smile, a rather more than ne-
cessary kiss and then whispered,
“You will see me to my room after the show won’t you Gab.”
How could he refuse such a delicate offer?
They went back to her room shortly before midnight after fraternising with the
other writers and publishers, but Gabriel had sipped his drinks slowly and when
possible had mineral water. He wasn’t about to spoil the promising outlook with
a lack of performance. Kelly was blatant,
“Gab, when I saw you in Newcastle, I knew that I wanted you but felt con-
strained to make a move because of your colleagues and any other away from
home arrangements you might have made. Remember, I know all about that
side of you.”
He had the decency to blush.
With that, she came up close and they kissed passionately before falling on the
bed in an attempt to break records for clothing removal. They spent several
hours together before she sent him on his way with a reminder that he was a
married man with responsibilities.
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He was wondering if it was possible to be unfaithful to two women at the same

time. It was far too confusing to sort out in the middle of the night so he let it
go.
“Remember, Gab, we have both changed and perhaps there could be a chance if
you ever fell like leaving Mel, and as much as I’m fond of her I’m quite ruthless
enough to snatch you back if the opportunity arises. My other relationships have
always been short lived since somehow they never had the spark and flame that
you and I brought out in one another. I’m more flame proof now, as I expect
you are so we might survive next time. Don’t say anything, Gab, its far too late
and far too easy to say something you might regret, as I suppose I might, ex-
cept that I’ve been thinking about it , while you have been messing about with
your latest conquests.”
Gabriel went home and then quietly to bed. There was a lot to think about, but
he had to work the next day and he was only going to get a couple of hours
sleep, if that; but as usual he dropped off immediately and woke to his alarm.
After washing and dressing he went down to the kitchen for breakfast to find
Melissa already having toast and coffee and with a malicious grin on her face
said,
“Have a nice time, Gab”
and giggled as he tried to make a low key explanation of the evening and, by the
time he had prepared his breakfast ,she was standing up and ready to leave.
“I’ll be late this evening so you’ll have to fend for yourself, I hope that your day
isn’t too tiring."
”Ok Mel, I might come back early unless I have a drink after work with Kate, and
I’ll pick up a pizza for myself on the way home.’
Melissa highly approved of Kate who was far more organised than Gabriel and
she recognised that the two of them made a formidable team; he had a way with
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people, could make a good case whether privately or publicly for whatever was
on the agenda while Kate made sure he was properly briefed, his diary up to
date and the paper work was in his briefcase. Without Kate, Gabriel would not
only be less successful but also she surmised a bit more difficult to live with. His
work kept him busy and with plenty of social and work contacts which was what
he needed and home was a retreat and a place of quiet harmony and when she
looked at her own life she acknowledged that it was the same for her.
He went to work and accepted the cheeky look on Kate’s face with a rueful smile
and then settled down to a day’s work at his desk.
*****
On her return from Newcastle, Angela did enough grocery shopping to last her
through to the following Thursday and then she would make another expedition
for the meal with Gabriel, but in the meantime she didn't want to be further dis-
tracted from her task. That evening she carefully drew up a plan on paper to
cover all the possibilities (including failure) and also made a time chart of the ac-
tion plan. She tried to keep everything as simple as possible, but knowing that
one of the main and most difficult keys to success might be finding the room
number, and that if this part failed then she would be out of pocket and the solu-
tion to the Kelly problem would have to wait until another day. The rest of the
plan was fairly straightforward. She would visit the Hyatt on the following day,
in disguise and check it out as far as she could, have lunch there and purloin as
much as possible without arousing suspicions, then go to another hotel, she de-
cided on the Park Hotel as being only a few minutes’ walk from the Hyatt, and
make use of their toilets to remove her wig and some of her clothes. She
thought of booking herself in to the Park but decided against it as she had no
intention of sleeping there and might arouse some curiosity though she knew
that it must often be done by those who needed a room for a few hours. Howev-
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er, she would have to use a credit card and that was evidence of her wherea-
bouts and too risky, but using the toilets should be ok.
She made a shopping list an a separate piece of paper that could be added to at
the Hyatt while she was having lunch and that she could dispose of once the
items were purchased. She felt that she had a few days to go over the plan once
she had acquired what she needed and if anything else occurred to her then
there was time to buy it locally after the main items had been bought in Oxford
Street as she had originally conceived. When she had done as much as she could
she decided that the wig and any other alterations to her appearance should
practiced several times so that she did not get into a mess or panic on the day.
She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and tried to decide what made An-
gela recognisable as Angela. It was no good putting on a wig if her mouth, nose
or eyebrows gave her away, not that she expected to bump into anyone she
knew but it was always possible that someone in the hotel or from across the
street when she was traveling, would recognise her. It is said that the most diffi-
cult thing to disguise is the way a person walks and given all of the CCTV cam-
eras that abounded on city streets and private lobbys she knew that the police
would be hunting for people that could not be accounted for by the hotel staff
and they would try and match them with any suspects that came into focus. She
was not far removed as being a prime suspect, if her association with Gabriel
came to light, though perhaps the motive would prove difficult. She had heard
that placing a stone in a shoe could change the balance of a stride but that
seemed a bit extreme so she settled on a Dr Scholls pad placed in one shoe. She
put it on the list for tomorrow.
She paused for a moment in her planning to think of who might know, or sus-
pect, of her liaison with Gabriel. The list was quite short; there was Melissa, Kate
and her own family of Jodie, Dick and Tony; there was also the off-chance that
Kelly knew but that, of course, was of no concern. She wasn’t sure about Kate
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but if the others knew it was probably just guesswork as she doubted that Ga-
briel had confided in anyone and there was also an unspoken agreement be-
tween them that their affair was to be kept secret, at least for the while.
She turned back to her planning, the wig proved easy enough to handle after a
couple of attempts but she put it on and off a few times in her own lavatory and
then checking in the bathroom mirror. She got if off pat and surveyed the result;
the wig was perfect and no trace of her blondness showed except in her eye-
brows and those were easily enough darkened temporally. Her lipstick was usual-
ly a pale pink so she experimented with other shades that she had bought on
various occasions but hardly used. A maroon colour seemed to go with the wig
and now the only thing that stood out was her complexion and eyebrows which
she also darkened slightly with some make up. All she needed now was some
nail polish to go with the lipstick and she was set. She put it on the list. Wigs are
uncomfortable at first and there is a tendency to readjust them automatically and
as she found that she was doing this she decided to leave it on until she went to
bed and she was so successful that it wasn’t until she went into the bathroom to
brush her teeth and looked at herself in the mirror with a start that she remem-
bered to remove it.
The next day she put on the wig and makeup, removed her pale pink nail polish,
and dressed in a dark blue trouser suit that could pass her off as a business
woman or an hotel employee. She set off to arrive after 10am as she wanted to
explore the room corridors whilst they were being serviced in case there were
useful items that she could pick up and she could peek into some rooms. She
had brought a Selfridge’s bag with her so as to seem the part and it was large
enough to hide whatever she was likely to find. On arrival, she walked straight
over to the lifts and took one to the 5th floor, stepped out and walked down the
first corridor she came to. There was no one in sight but outside a room some-
one had left a food tray with a serviette on it which she quickly placed in her
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bag. Further down the corridor was another tray with a docket which she lifted
from the tray almost without slowing her stride. She noted the style of the tray
and decided that it was nondescript enough for her to pick one up at House or
Heals and then went in search of other facilities on another floor. She tried the
seventh floor and found an unattended service trolley which had some small
pads of the type often placed beside the bed in case the guest needs to make a
note. She took one and placed it in her bag.
On entering the lift to descend she saw that there was a gym listed in the base-
ment so she went down to it and found a public toilet just by the lifts. She
checked it out and came to the conclusion that it would do quite well for chang-
ing her appearance before meeting Kelly
She returned to the lobby and picked up a few brochures, contemplated the
chances of filching a tray but decided that it was too risky, however, she noted
that they were mock silver and perhaps appropriate for a complimentary cham-
pagne. She added one to her list of purchases and sat down for a while, refusing
a waiter’s offer of a drink, and studied the lobby life of the hotel. She noted that
the women behind the reception were in blazers but that other female staff, who
appeared occasionally wore a white blouse with tan slacks and low heeled shoes.
The shoes she had but would need some tan slacks and she studied them hard
to try and imprint the colour in her mind until she noticed that the brochures
were, in part, the same colour which would make life much easier when shop-
ping.
After a short while she took a stroll outside to get a coffee elsewhere so that her
presence would not become too noticeable and she could return at about 12.45
for lunch. She made a booking for two and would make an excuse later for her
absent friend and for herself, used a pseudonym that she had used since a child
when she felt like being someone else, Mary Sanders.
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She returned just before 1pm, explained her missing friend and settled down to
lunch. She had a Greek salad with a glass of chardonnay followed by a latte and
though her sole purpose was to observe the activity in the hotel she found that,
in fact, there was not much to learn. She paid the bill by cash and went to look
for an alternative exit to the main one off the lobby and she found one behind
the lifts that opened out on to a side street. It all seemed perfect if only the
room number problem could be solved.
Her shopping expedition was easy enough and she even found a suitable tray in
in one of the small boutique shops that was cheap enough to discard later. The
weights were more of a problem as she had to buy a 20lb set since the bar was
not sold separately. It was to heavy to lug about for long but so she asked for
the weights and bar to be separated and it turned out to be easy enough to ditch
the actual weights in a small square back from Oxford Street. The bar by itself
was quite manageable and that being her last purchase she returned home by
tube.
Once she was in the flat she quickly got out of her Mary clothes, as she was
coming to think of them, and surveyed her purchases. The most fascinating ob-
ject was the steel bar which was about a foot long and just over an inch thick.
She weighed it in her hand and then went into the bedroom and in her mind she
saw her rival Kelly lying on the bed so she whacked the bar it into the pillow
striking down with all her might. It was a cathartic and satisfying feeling and de-
fused her anger and convinced her that it could do the job. She wrapped it in
some festive paper, tied a small card to it so that it looked like a present whose
contents were rather suggestive.
The next day, Sunday, she tried on the whole outfit and decided to wear some
dark grey slacks under the beige ones so that she could change them fast. The
white blouse was fine though the shoes were not quite right for the grey slacks
as they were for the tan ones but she decided that they would do as not every-
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one is that fashion conscious. She had bought a bottle of a suitably expensive
champagne to lure Kelly into admitting her and, as she thought about it, she
smiled as she imagined drinking it later in celebration. It would have to be near
frozen on the day, to ensure that it was at the correct temperature on delivery
and she would have to do this carefully on the Wednesday morning. Her id card
and the docket needed some work and she spent part of the day using her copi-
er and laminator to make a passable tag for her waist together with a docket
that would pass muster for a quick signature. She had typed on the docket using
her computer with the words ‘Complimentary Champagne from the management
of the Hyatt Hotel in recognition of a special guest: Kelly Margenau’. Anonymous
but flattering, and with the aid of a scanner on the filched docket it looked to be
the real thing. She wiped the text from the computer document, cut and pasted
some of her medical notes into the document, saved it under a medical name
and then on exiting the program, deleted the document. She hoped that this
would do and couldn’t see how it would ever get to this level of detail if her
computer was impounded but just to make sure she used a wiping program sev-
eral times on the free space of the hard disk. Her brother, Tony , with all his
computer graphics had become quite a whiz on computers and had passed his
knowledge on to his sister and had even set up her present system with all the
necessary software.
All was set except for the number of Kelly’s room and she would have to be pa-
tient until Tuesday at the earliest. Perhaps she could bribe someone , she
thought, but decided it really was too risky. Another alternative was too ask at
the desk as if she was a fan of Kelly’s but again, it was doubtful if they would
tell her and would probably just offer to convey a message. Then she got an in-
spiration. Hotel rooms are accessible by direct dial telephone and providing the
total number of rooms was not too excessive they could all be dialed and
checked out. It wasn’t the best of plans but it might be workable if she used a
phone other than the one in her flat, but where? She was stumped for a while
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until her mother rang from the beach cottage just to see how she was and to in-
form her that they had decided to stay down there for the week since Dick had
some leave and she was able to adjust her schedules.
“Why don’t you come down, darling” her mother enticed her “its really beautiful
and the weather is gorgeous. I’m sure that it would do you good to get out of
London for a few days.”
“Sorry mum, I’ve got a bit on next week with some friends and the beginning of
term.”
“Oh well” said Jodie, “too bad, but, if you can, would you call in to our house and
check that all is ok. The neighbour has been feeding the cat so some extra sup-
plies of cat food wouldn’t do any harm.”
“Right-o mum, shall do. Have a good week and I’ll see you next weekend, per-
haps.”
She would take that risk and use her parents phone, with caller id switched off,
to phone the hotel rooms. She would have to work out the number of rooms and
their number beforehand and that would mean another trip to the hotel. She
could do that on Monday. Besides that, all was set and she just had to wait it out
until the Wednesday evening.
On Monday morning, again in her Mary outfit, she wandered the corridors of the
hotel and worked out the possible numbers. Just to be sure she used a pay
phone down the street and dialed the hotel prefix and a room number and was
gratified when it was answered by an elderly lady to whom she apologised say-
ing that she must have dialed a wrong number. So the system was as she
thought but unfortunately there were 135 rooms and she wasn’t sure that she
would have enough time to do all the dialing late in the afternoon of Tuesday
and Wednesday to find Kelly in and still have time to get to the hotel to accom-
plish her mission. She drew up a time chart allowing 40 minutes to get from her
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parent’s house to the hotel, and it could be longer in rush hour, though on call-
ing a taxi firm they estimated 45 minutes at that time of day so eventually she
allowed an hour. She wanted to be at Kelly’s room at 6.30, which seemed about
right for the gap between the conference ending at 5.30 and perhaps going out
for a meal later. This meant leaving the house at 5.30 and the equation just
didn’t work out and she sank into despair and resolved to change her tack. There
was another means that wasn’t too risky and that was to phone the hotel during
the day when Kelly wasn’t likely to be in and then when she didn’t get a reply to
ask the reception for a direct dial number. This thought cheered her up and she
decided to make the call on Wednesday morning since she assumed that Kelly
would be receiving calls to congratulate her on the award.
She phoned as planned on Wednesday and easily got the direct dial number with
the suffix 1702. As it turned out, it was confirmed by Gabriel when he rang her
and asked how she was and giving a heavily edited version of the previous night.
Angela wondered about it as he sounded a bit forced and as if he had something
to hide. However, as he was recounting the evenings adventure he said, Kelly
has the most marvelous suite on the top floor with a great view out over the
Park as a gift from the conference organisers. She knew that suites on the top
floor included 1702.
She set off for the Hyatt in mid-morning as if it was just another shopping expe-
dition and she had no more feelings for it than if she were setting off to college
and a day in the laboratory. She entered the hotel by the side door and going
around to the lift was able to travel to the top floor by herself. On arriving there
she found that there were only three rooms or suites numbered 1701, 1702 1703
with the rest of the floor area serving as a large function room, which she hoped
would be unused that evening. She left immediately, exiting the hotel again by
the side door, and made her way to Chelsea, and her parents home.. She bought
some tins of cat food on the way and placed them alongside the remaining tin
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left ready for the neighbour. Then she dialed, using the caller id block, followed
by the hotel prefix and 1701 and it as was answered by an older man by the
name of Fitzgerald, so she apologised and hung up. Next 1702 and no answer,
then 1703 was answered by a child and again she hung up. It seemed that if her
information was correct that 1702 was the number she was after but would
check later before setting off just to be sure. She would risk a no reply for a
positive for Kelly.
At 5.30pm she phoned 1702 again and heard a voice that identified Kelly as Ms
Margenau, which gave her a momentary shock, but like many women who have
made their career under a married name, she understood that Kelly had opted to
stick with Margenau. Now the time had come to act. She followed her plan and
went to the hotel by underground, for anonymity, entered at the side door,
went down to the basement toilet, arranged her tray leaving her Selfridges bag
containing, her dark slacks and a shawl buried in the wastepaper bin. There was
no way of associating any of it with her if it were found in the short time she
planned to be away. She went up in the lift and, taking a deep breath, knocked
on the door of 1702 and was greeted by Kelly, who on hearing her mission was
delighted and invited her in. When asked to sign the docket she leaned forward
to do this and then Angela struck hard with the disguised barbell, which she had
placed in a fancy bag designed for a gift bottle of wine. Kelly fell to the floor un-
conscious and Angela moved fast to shut the door and seeing a pair of knickers
on the bed forced them into Kelly’s mouth and held her nose. Using the bedside
clock as a timer she held on for 5 minutes, which seemed much, much longer,
until at last Kelly convulsions ceased and she was no longer attempting to
breathe. She tried for a pulse on the neck and could find none. She packed up
her gear into a plastic bag that she had concealed at the bottom of the glitzy bag
and left the apartment leaving the door open. She had though about this aspect
for a while before coming to the conclusion that an open door held more confus-
ing possibilities as to why Kelly let the murderer in than a closed one, and pre-
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sented no more risk, since guests would not wander in unannounced and there
would be hardly any passers by on a floor with three suites.
She left with a confident stride in case she was seen but there was no one
about, so she retraced her steps to the basement, retrieved the Selfridges bag
and changed her clothes. After carefully removing the latex gloves she packed
everything into the bag and then made her way out of the hotel and back home.
The plan had worked perfectly and all she had to do was dispose of any incrimi-
nating evidence. At this point she would dearly have loved to have rested after
the emotional strain of the day but she knew that she would have to keep going
until the job was finished. She placed the gloves, the now unwrapped steel shaft,
and tan pants into a separate plastic bags and these she placed into a calico
shopping bag and then made her way down to the local shopping centre. The
steel shaft, held with a tissue went into a building skip, the pants into a charity
bin and the latex gloves flushed down a shopping centre toilet. The paper ma-
terial, docket etc had been flushed down her own toilet but she felt that the
gloves might be more contaminated and she had to make sure. On her way out
from her flat she chatted with a neighbour, telling her of her parents sudden hol-
iday and her cat mission, and on her return again saw the same neighbour. Not
an alibi but good circumstantial evidence and as far as she could see the police
were going to have a difficult job even knowing where to start looking for the
murderer. They had a conference full of delegates to question and it could be
assumed that not all of them, applause or not, were happy with Kelly receiving
the award. At this thought she washed the champagne bottle and put it in the
fridge awaiting Gab’s next visit, which might not be on Thursday after he found
out about Kelly, but whenever, and she was confident that he would be back
very soon.
She opened a bottle of wine and silently drank to a mission well accomplished
and two rivals out of the way on her path to the prize she had had in her sights
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for so long. In truth, she was a bit worried about Gabriel and whether it would
affect him too much, but was sure that in the long run, whether it be days,
weeks or even months, he would recover and that she would be there for him.
She suspected that he had slept with Kelly on the Tuesday and this reinforced
her satisfaction at removing her from her path. She might even be able to help
Gabriel recover and, such was her unreal perception of the value of life,, that she
even saw herself as the ministering angel to his grief. She returned her thoughts
to her everyday life and got out some of her text books and notes in preparation
for the beginning of term. She would be starting her second year and needed to
revise her first year notes if she was to get to the front of the class as was her
intention, for she was competitive in most things she undertook. Her life went on
and the ripple that had been her Kelly mission smoothed over and disappeared
from her sights as she focused on her present tasks. A while later she surfaced
from her studies, made herself a cup of hot chocolate, and reflected on life. Be-
sides the anxiety of Christine and Kelly, everything was perfect. Her flat was
modern, with a good address and aspect, her finances were very satisfactory
from the legacy, helped a little from her part-time work, her studies were inter-
esting and she was close to the top of the class and, most of all she had Gabriel,
coming closer all the time. She wondered how long it would take for him to make
the break with Melissa and she was confident he would eventually, probably
within a year. She would be just as patient as she had been for all those years
before. Finishing her coffee, and washing up the mug, she took a little time to
look around the flat for anything that linked her to Gabriel but could find nothing.
At the moment it seemed wise to be cautious about such things though of course
a forensic examination would find fingerprints but it was unlikely to ever come to
that.
*****
About mid-morning after their late night encounter, Kelly rang him to thank him
for a wonderful evening and he said
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“Kelly, the night was yours and you certainly made mine.”
and they agreed to keep in touch by email and phone on a more regular basis.
He was already mentally planning his next trip to Newcastle and she was doing
the reverse. After he put the phone down he picked it up again, in a fit of guilt,
and rang Angela, and gave her a general account of the previous day. As always,
she was as delighted to hear from him and they confirmed that he would be at
her flat the following afternoon.
At the end of the day he was feeling perky enough to accept Kate’s suggestion
for their usual after work drink at the pub, where they could review the latest
government machinations as it spoke of environmental concern while steadfastly
refusing to put more than a token amount of money on the table unless ha-
rassed and harangued by the likes of Gabriel, as briefed by Kate. He told her
about Kelly’s award and the banquet in such glowing terms that Kate was in no
doubt that the evening had held other delights for them both. She knew Kelly
and was sorry when she split with Gabriel and, though she could understand that
they rowed when living together, she also knew that Gabriel was still in love with
her. It had taken a couple of years before Melissa came into his life and settled
him down with her calm and organised manner. It was clear that he loved Melis-
sa but not with the fiery spark that he had with Kelly, so she wasn’t surprised at
their recent adventure and wondered if he would get back together with her, if
by chance Melissa left the scene. She thought that he probably would unless his
new affair muddied the waters.
It wasn’t until he got home and was watching the ten o’clock news that he heard
of the murder at the Hyatt and came to the horrific realisation that they were
talking about Kelly. Melissa was not yet home so he wrote a hurried note to tell
her what had happened and, without further thought, took a taxi to the Hyatt.
There were police everywhere and he had some difficulty at first in persuading
anyone to tell him what had happened but, when they worked out that they
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were talking to her ex-husband, they took him inside where the police ques-
tioned him in a room set aside for the purpose. They wanted him to tell them in
detail about the previous evening but eventually had to tell him the bare facts of
her murder before he was capable of a coherent train of thought. He had started
to weep almost uncontrollably and had to be gradually calmed down and fed
with the usual British panacea of tea, hot and sweet. When he was sufficiently
calm he told his story, without embellishment, and leaving nothing out except
their unspoken promise of revisiting their old relationship but including their pre-
vious night’s affair. The police were most understanding and the detective in
charge quickly assumed Gabriel to be innocent of any involvement since he had
been in sight or earshot of Kate all day until about 9pm which was well past the
estimated time of the murder. Of course, they would check with Kate but didn’t
expect her to contradict what he had told them. They also concluded, though
Gabriel made no fuss about it, that he was having an illicit affair with Kelly with-
out his wife’s knowledge, or so they wrongly assumed, and though he made no
request of them they promised that his involvement would not be made public
unless necessary at a trial.
They let him go after an hour or so with the usual caution of remaining available
if needed and asking him to phone the detective inspector the next day to ar-
range a formal interview. The police now had the hard grind of many other in-
terviews of all those involved with the conference and a minute examination of
the scene of the crime. Their inquiries over the next few weeks threw up a few
minor indiscretions on the part of the conference delegates as they gave their
alibis but the crime scene offered no evidence of any use in tracking the killer. It
was obvious that Kelly had been struck down and asphyxiated in a brutal man-
ner, but there was no indication as to motive. Kelly’s personal life seemed blame-
less and there were no enemies in sight. It appeared as if Angela had got away
with it, at least as far as the law was concerned.
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*****
Melissa returned home not long after Gabriel had left and was shocked at the
content of his note. She switched on the radio tuned in to a news channel. With-
in a minute or two the news of Kelly’s death was reported as a horrific and brutal
murder. She wept for a moment for she was not only fond of Kelly for herself,
and her vibrancy, but also for what she meant to Gabriel. She wasn’t a jealous
woman and didn’t see Kelly as a rival but through Gabriel’s eyes as an interesting
and intelligent, and she had to admit, a sexy woman. Melissa was certain that his
brief affair with Kelly would have quietened down once she returned to Newcas-
tle, and even if they saw one another occasionally she didn’t believe that it would
ever return to what they meant to one another earlier. Whatever came of it, she
wasn’t one to get too worked up about it as she a fatalistic streak in her and,
though she would look after Gabriel as long as he wanted her, she wasn’t going
to make waves if it turned out differently. This was not to say that she wouldn’t
use all her wiles to keep hold of him but not at all costs.
Once she had taken in the fact of Kelly’s death she resolved to wait up until Ga-
briel returned, even if it meant all night. This gave her time to think and add up
the fact that two of Gabriel’s former loves had died in a short space of time and
not long after Angela had come on the scene. She didn’t know what to make of it
but since she had been aware of Angela’s interest in Gabriel from the moment
that Melissa and Angela had met five years ago, when Angela was only thirteen.
She had felt that Angela’s interest in him was not healthy, though he seemed
quite oblivious of her, other than his the daughter of a friend. If anything Gabriel
seemed more interested and fond of the son, Tony, than of Angela. Still it was
something to think about, though she couldn’t see quite how Angela could be
involved in either death, and especially such a heartless murder. She decided
that it must be some rival in the publishing world, or something from Kelly’s love
life that Melissa knew nothing about, since it was hardly the murder of a casual
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burglar or intruder. She let it rest but her instincts told her to keep her eyes and
ears open for any possible link of Angela with the two deaths.
Gabriel came home at 3.30am looking worn and haggard. She embraced him
and soothed him and let him cry a bit before she led him upstairs to his bed. She
gave him one of her sleeping pills, turned off the alarm clock, unplugged the tel-
ephone and took his mobile into her room in case anyone called too early. He
went off to sleep as the effects of his late night with Kelly, and now her terrible
murder, overwhelmed him and the pills did their job.
The next morning he woke up at 9.30 and was startled to see the time, and for a
moment he panicked, until the events of the previous days came back to him. He
got up immediately and, putting on his dressing gown, went downstairs to find
Melissa reading the paper in the kitchen. She called him over to her and gave
him a close hug and a kiss.
“It’s been a hard few weeks for you hasn’t it Gab and I’m afraid that its not over
yet. I’ve phoned your office and Kate will deal with everything. She sends her
sympathy and I suspect that she knows, as well or better than I do, what Kelly
meant to you. The police have also rung and asked you to go to the Oxford
Street police station at 2pm. They wanted you earlier but I told them about the
sleeping pills and, as they’ve got enough on their plate at the moment, they
didn’t seem too fussed. However, you had better tell me all about it, or at least
whatever you think fit I should know. In the end he told her everything and it
was no more that she had already suspected. She did no more than tut-tut at his
infidelity and they both knew that this was a problem that they had settled be-
tween themselves long ago, and it had taken a murder to bring it into the open.
He turned to the newspaper to find out more but there was nothing that he
didn’t know already, other than that the police didn’t have a single lead towards
the murderer or at least they weren’t saying anything.
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He went to the police station at the appointed time and was formally interviewed
by the same detective inspector, and a colleague, but before the formalities be-
gan he told them that his wife knew of his dalliance with Kelly on the Tuesday
night so that they wouldn’t waste time trying to tease it out of him. He told them
how it had been in Newcastle as well as at the Hyatt but omitted any mention of
Angela, as he couldn’t see the point of dragging her into the mess. It was proba-
bly his biggest mistake and was to cause more trouble in the future. He unders-
tood that the police were still completely in the dark and were working on sever-
al leads, but he took this as the usual cliché that means next to almost nothing.
He returned home and phoned Kate, who assured him that all was under control,
and when Melissa went out to the supermarket he phoned Angela and told her
what had happened. She sounded horrified and full of sympathy and concern
and said that she fully understood his putting off today’s tryst and that she
would wait for him to call her when he was ready and feeling stronger. He said
that it would not be long and thanked her for giving him the space to grieve over
the loss of Kelly. He reminded her that there would be a funeral at some point
and that he would go with Melissa where and whenever it was held. She replied
that she would keep away this time, as it would not be appropriate for her to be
there, for which he was internally grateful
There was an autopsy on Kelly the following Monday, but nothing new emerged
at the coroners hearing and a verdict of murder by person or persons unknown
was recorded, and her body released for burial. Gabriel had somehow expected
her body to be returned to Newcastle but her parents who lived in Weymouth
asked for her to be buried close to them so that they could visit her grave easily.
The funeral was set for the following Friday.
He resumed his visits to Angela the following Tuesday and she accepted a rather
less enthusiastic love making than previously and understood that his vigour
would return after the funeral. She was right, for the following week he was al-
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most back to his previous self. So life went on for Gabriel and all those around
him and when a few weeks later, at the beginning of November, he said that he
had to go to Oxford for a couple of days and nights and would Angela like to
come with him, she was delighted for it seemed to her that it was the beginning
of a new phase. Melissa accepted his various trips as part of Gabriel’s profes-
sional existence and gave it no more thought other than a vague suspicion that
Angela might be involved somehow. She wasn’t fussed, if it wasn’t Angela it
would just as likely be someone else, even Beth who lived in the area. She
hadn’t heard about Beth for a long time and didn’t even know if Gabriel and Beth
kept in contact but, knowing him, she expected that they did, for he didn’t like to
let go of anyone who had been close to him. As it happened they did keep in ir-
regular contact and before the trip he emailed Beth to suggest having lunch to-
gether on the day after his arrival. She responded warmly and they agreed that
he would phone her after he was in Oxford and had got his appointment sche-
dule confirmed. There were often late minute adjustments with the smaller envi-
ronmental groups as they relied heavily on volunteers who had to fit him in
around their other commitments.
They went by train and then by taxi to a small hotel about a mile up the Abing-
don Road, or as Angela observed a Bed and Breakfast that had pretensions.
They were shown to a comfortable looking room that proved to have a bed with
a mattress that had seen better days, and perhaps much activity. After freshen-
ing up, Gabriel left on foot for his first appointment at the HQ of an Animal Free-
dom group that was concerned about local farm practices. Angela was left to her
own devices until 5.30, when she was to meet Gabriel at the Lamb and Flag
where they would have drink or two before repairing to Brown’s for Italian cui-
sine. That night they tested the mattress hard and found that, when they were
eventually ready for sleep, the sagging springs threw them together in the mid-
dle of the bed. They were not worried by this and went into a deep post-coital
sleep, but paid for it the next morning with stiff backs. Once again he left her to
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her own devices and she had a plan mapped out that took in the Ashmolean mu-
seum, the Radcliffe museum, Blackwell’s bookshop and Exeter College, which
had some tapestries that were visitable for a short period in the early afternoon,
and then to meet up once again at the Lamb and Flag. The day was pleasant
enough, if a bit chilly, but that was soon cured by a brisk walk into town and
resort to the shops and museums. Around mid-day, and before her visit to the
tapestries, she strolled through the market with no more in mind that hoping to
see exactly what she wanted, whatever that was, or at least a bargain. All of a
sudden, she saw Gabriel in one of the market cafes, and he was with a woman.
She darted behind the dresses on a stall nearby and observed them for a short
while. It was quite obvious that they were more than just acquaintances since he
had his hand over hers and their heads were close together, and she could tell
that the woman was really enjoying Gabriel’s company. For no particular reason,
other than to eventually discover who the woman was, Angela took took a few
zoomed shots of them with her small digital camera. She slipped away deep in
thought.
Angela knew full well that Gabriel had a roving eye and was assuming that once
she had him to herself, and preferably married to him, she could provide enough
variety for him to keep him from wandering. That was in the future, but it was
the past that kept coming to haunt their relationship. Without Melissa’s deep
understanding of Gabriel’s character, she saw all these liaisons from his past as a
threat. Angela now knew how to deal with a threat, after solving the problems of
Christine and Kelly, but was a bit aghast at the thought of more.
They met up at he end of the day and, as she had found in the past few weeks,
she didn’t need to ask him about his day for he was naturally loquacious and
seemed to have no secrets from anyone, other than those that everyone buries
about their deepest thoughts, fears, hopes and desires. He was always open and
friendly with everyone and that evening he told her about Beth and the time he
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had lived with her and how they came to break up. Angela said almost nothing
other than a bland statement of how nice it is to meet old friends after a long
parting. It was obvious to her that Gabriel must have initiated the meeting and
that it was not just a meeting of old acquaintances but something rather warmer
and therefore more threatening. A new problem to solve, and she had her first
clues when Gabriel, in recounting Beth’s history, told her of the small organic
farming enterprise that she ran with some friends to the west of Oxford and he
also let slip her surname, Murphy, which he said in relation to her Irish green
eyes together with some admiration in his voice.
The dined elegantly at Elizabeth’s before returning to test the springs again and
once more to wake to a sore back. They were both glad to say goodbye to that
bed however delightful their night had been. On the journey back to London in
the afternoon of the following day they agreed on meeting up as usual on the
following Tuesday and on arrival at Paddington station they parted company to
return to their respective abodes.
*****
That evening Angela started to think and plan again. The first thing she did was
to lay out a time chart of Gabriel’s life with Christine, Beth, Kelly and Melissa. As
far as she could see, they were the main women in his life with gaps of about a
year separating one co-habitation from the next. This confirmed to her that Beth
was the only remaining rival from the past, and hopefully the future, discounting
Melissa as a comfort wife rather than a lover who might try and snatch him away
from her. Once she had extracted Gabriel from Melissa’s grasp she doubted that
Melissa would ever make an attempt to get him back, or that Gabriel would want
to return. Kate she saw just as a work colleague, not appreciating the important
roles that she played in his life.
She found Beth in the telephone directory and the farm was called Cotswolds
Organic Produce farm and was located about 6 miles to the west of Oxford. She
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calculated that if she used public transport it would take her all day to get there
for a reconnoiter and could see no harm in hiring a car for the day and driving
there. She was accountable to no one and she had her mobile phone if anyone
wanted her. This was the obvious first move if she was to find out more about
Beth. She considered disguising herself but again could see no point at this stage
since she was just going to have a look, and Beth didn’t know her.
She hired a basic car, a Vauxhall Corsa, and headed off. The journey took a
couple of hours and she arrived near Oxford at about 11.30am and then drove to
the farm and drifted past slowly. There was a sign outside that said that produce
could be bought at the shop, which looked more like a trestle table set at the en-
trance to a shed than a full-blown shop, and she could see that someone was
inside the shed nearby. There was a three space car park tucked around to the
right and several bushes and trees between the road and the shed. It wasn’t ex-
actly sheltered but it wasn’t totally exposed either, not that it mattered but cau-
tion was her second nature. She drove on and stopped for a sandwich and a lag-
er at a pub while she mulled over her options. She wanted more information
even though she hadn’t resolved to do anything in particular but felt that all in-
formation was useful and that she might as well gather some while she was in
the vicinity.
She returned to the farm and, after parking in the shade of the trees in the small
car park, and noting that they partially shielded her from the road to the west,
she went to the shop, rang a small bell, and was presently greeted by Beth. It
was a bit of a shock for Angela as she hadn’t thought of the person who would
be at the counter and, of course, there was no reason why it shouldn’t be Beth.
Beth had a healthy country glow about her and was freckled quite heavily by her
outdoor life but retained a innocent youthfulness in her sparkling green eyes.
“What can I do for you, madam.”
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she enquired and Angel asked what was for sale and by way of starting up a
conversation said that she had come from visiting a friend at Stow and was tak-
ing in some country lanes before joining the main road for London. She was
shown a range of early winter produce and chose some broccoli, carrots and
runner beans and bought some so as to seem like a genuine customer, and in
any case she could use them easily enough, and then, on noticing that there was
a barn like structure behind the shed with chickens scrabbling about, she asked if
she could wander in. Beth was pleased to be able to show her and the conversa-
tion revealed that there were three women running the farm but that Beth was
the sole owner and occupant of the small farmhouse, though she was hoping to
get a lodger at some point, recognising that it was a bit off the beaten path for
most people. The barn had an assortment of equipment, sacks, timber and a
higgledy piggledy assortment of what looked like junk that might come in useful
one day. She left with the information that the store was always open on a
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with Beth on duty and at weekends with one of
the others minding the shop.
Angela set off for London, buying a local map at a nearby garage for future ref-
erence. She spent the drive back coming to the realisation that this final problem
had got to be solved by that same drastic means the Kelly problem had been re-
solved. Her main thought was one of annoyance, in that she would have to go to
a lot more trouble to free Gabriel from his past than she had anticipated. She
hadn’t expected all this when she first made her play for him but her determina-
tion to possess him knew no bounds. She would do whatever was necessary.
On returning the car to the hire garage, and settling in at home for the evening,
she began work on her second plan. She knew that she would probably only get
one chance and that it would have to be as simple and direct as her dealing with
Kelly, and would have to take place in the barn. She envisaged the two of them
in the barn that afternoon and saw that if Beth had been leaning over she could
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have been hit on the head, but also that a repeat of the same method would be
link the murders very quickly to the same assailant, and then the finger would
start to point in her direction. She also couldn’t afford to have too much blood
produced as its would be the hardest thing to remove. Then she saw in her
minds eye the axe that had been stuck in a chopping block in the barn. A hard
blow to the back of the neck would instantly paralyse and most likely kill the re-
cipient. ‘I’m a medical student’, she thought and went to her bookshelf and
pulled out the latest version of Gray’s Anatomy, and the student edition, both of
which her parents had bought for her on hearing her acceptance at the GKT
medical school. She studied the spinal column, nerves, veins, arteries, muscles
and cartilage at the back of the neck and it seemed to her that she could sever
the spinal column, causing instant paralysis and almost instant death if she could
get in a clean blow and the arteries could be avoided. She wouldn’t be able to
rely on the axe in the barn, that would have to be bought new and sharp, and of
sufficient weight to accomplish the severance. She could practice on a sheep’s
neck in her kitchen easily enough.
The problem of getting Beth to bend over was very simple once she had thought
of it, all she had to do was spill some one and two pound coins out of a purse
and it would be natural for Beth to help her pick them up. She could think of no
other way that would be as simple and effective.
The most worrying problem was how to get there. She couldn’t use a car for
they were too easily traced from a minimum of information from a witness. She
couldn’t take a taxi for obvious reasons, and public transport was out to the
question, which left little choice than that of a bicycle. She reasoned that the dis-
tance from Oxford station was about five miles and that she should be able to
cover that in well under an hour or perhaps even just over half an hour. She
didn’t have a bicycle but knew that stealing one should not too difficult if you are
not after the latest model with flashy locks and there were plenty of knocked
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Déjà, Déjà Vu
about bikes around the college and hospitals that could be nicked fairly safely. It
would leave her exposed for a while on the road back from the farm to Oxford,
but that was a chance she would have to take as it was most likely that the body
would not be discovered immediately, and that the hue and cry would not begin
before she was safely back in Oxford. She could return the bicycle within a mile
or so of where she had acquired it so that it just looked like a borrowing rather
than a theft. The general plan was complete except for the details and the first
of these was to ensure that she could cycle the distance easily. She was fairly fit
and was a regular attendee at the college gym so she would just use the exer-
cise bicycle a bit more than usual to check her stamina.
The rest of the details amounted to buying another wig, some clothes, shoes,
hat and two pairs of thin leather gloves, from M&S, both to look the part of a
country cyclist and to disguise herself. She chose dark colours so that any blood
spattered on them would not be evident at any distance. She also bought an axe
from a large hardware chain store; it felt quite lethal and when tested later on
the lamb was found to be more than satisfactory. She had the lamb in a stew for
dinner that night.
A visit to the gym confirmed that she was easily fit enough for the bicycle ride to
the farm and back but she perservered a bit more to give her an edge in case of
any unfortold circumstances. The following day was spent shopping in Oxford
Street once again, and all of the necessary gear was purchased. The remaining
item was the bicycle that she would acquire the day before the deed was to be
done. She felt that the sooner the better and was going to fix it for the following
Wednesday but thought that an extra week would dissociate it a bit more from
Kelly’s death. She settled on Wednesday, 5 November, Guy Fawkes day, and
chose the Wednesday so that she would not have to see Gabriel immediately af-
terwards.
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She saw Gabriel that Thursday and felt closer to him, knowing that she was
about to become his primary lover, Melissa being discounted, in two weeks time.
He noticed her extra warmth and just luxuriated in it not knowing what it por-
tended.
She spent the weekend going over her plan and the exact sequence of events
until she knew them by heart. She had bought two cheap purses; one for her
personal use, to hold traveling and food money, and the other for spilling out the
coins for Beth to retrieve. All was set and the only job he had to do on the Tues-
day week before Gabriel came round was to acquire and store a bicycle. She
bought a decent lock so that she could chain it up outside her flat without it ap-
pearing to have anything to do with her. She also paid attention to a pseudo-alibi
in that, although she would not be able to really account for her time if she was
questioned closely soon after the event, but she thought that if she could be
seen both early and later in the day it would give a semblance of a continuous
presence. The alibi wasn’t really for the police who were unlikely to come to her
unless Gabriel, Melissa or possibly Kate set them on her. These three would be
very aware that three of Gabriel’s former partners had met an untimely death
and may start to wonder if Angela had played any part in them. She needed the
semblance of an alibi that she could recount to them in some offhand manner
that would prevent them from alerting the police to any suspicions that they
might hold.
She decided that if she went to her usual nine o’clock lecture on statistics and
made sure that the lecturer or some students remembered her being there. and
there was not much difficulty in that since there were several male students who
were always very aware of her presence, and then later in the day she could at-
tend a four o’clock tutorial in chemistry to the same effect. The six-hour gap be-
tween the end of the lecture and the tutorial should be just enough time to ac-
complish her mission if she was efficient in her movements. She had looked up
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the times of the trains between London and Oxford and they were suitably timed
for her purpose and if she missed the tutorial then she would have to show her-
self in the union bar as soon as possible.
The following week she was fully occupied at the university and hospital, though
leaving early for her tryst with Gabriel. He was coming closer to her all the time
and she could feel that he was coming to accept her as a regular part of his life.
He bought her small presents and always came with a nice bottle of wine so that
they could have a drink after their lovemaking. She was in heaven when he was
with her and she longed for the day when he was with her every day,
She had puzzled over this sometimes when a fit of introspection overcame her
but always came to the same conclusion. He was made for her and she for him.
It was that simple, so why agonise over it. To her, he was perfection in every
way.
The following Tuesday arrived and she set out to find a bicycle. It turned out to
be very easy and she found a bike parked outside the student union which was
in inconspicuous spot and, more to the point, unlocked so she didn’t need the
small bolt cutters that she had armed herself with. She threw the cutters down a
grating and rode back to her flat and by the time she arrived was feeling at
home with the bike, its brakes and gears. She parked and locked it nearby her
flat and an hour or so later Gabriel arrived and after an hour or more of passio-
nate sex he left with the promise of Thursday, and she was left by herself and
ready for action.
The following day was mild and she went to her lecture with her disguise and the
axe in her rucksack, having chained the bike up not too far away. She hoped the
owner didn’t happen to go past in the meantime but was fairly confident because
there were a couple of miles between where she had stolen it and where she
now parked it. After the lecture, where she asked a question to ensure being
noticed, she cycled to Padding ton taking about half an hour, changed into her
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disguise in the toilets, and caught her train almost immediately, placing her bike
in the guards van. She didn’t feel nervous and it just seemed like an outing into
the country in spite of the fact that she had a lethal axe in her backpack.
She arrived at Oxford an hour or so later and began her bicycle journey to the
farm. There were no incidents and she found her way there without having to
refer to the map she was carrying as her memory was quite clear on how to get
there. She arrived at the gate and from then on all went as planned. Beth was as
friendly as before and showed no sign of recognising her and, once again, a re-
quest to see the chickens was met with an invitation to enter the barn. A conver-
sation about the hard work of the farm revealed that Beth was on her own so
after a minute or two Angela artlessly emptied her purse on to the ground
amongst the straw and, as she had foreseen, Beth immediately bent down to
help retrieve the coins. Angela pulled out the axe from her backpack, which she
was carrying by the handle, and struck Beth a fierce blow to the back of the neck
and as she did so she felt a wave of relief at the thought of the last of her rivals
was no more. As soon as Beth fell she gathered up the remaining coins in which
time the blood pressure dropped after the heart had stopped beating. She re-
moved the axe, which came out more easily that she had anticipated, placed it in
a plastic bag and put that in her rucksack. She went back to the shed and re-
moved all of the banknotes in the cash drawer and for good measure emptied
the contents of another drawer on the ground. She retrieved her bike and set off
back to Oxford via the same route and without any incidents on the way. The
river Isis provided a good dumping place for the axe which she had removed
from the plastic bag so that the water would wash off any evidence of it previous
use. She caught a train and returned the way she had come, and changing her
plan slightly she left the bicycle near Leicester Square where she was sure that it
would quickly be re-stolen and its history lost. She walked down to the National
Portrait gallery and, using their toilets, turned herself back from Mary to Angela
and then made her way through the market at the side of St Martin in the Fields
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and up the Strand to King College getting rid of the wig and clothes at various
spots on the way. She was just in time for the tutorial and sat through it without
saying any more than necessary, as she felt rather drained of energy. One of the
students asked her how she was feeling and she said that she had had a bit of a
headache and declined his invitation for a drink.
She returned home after the tutorial and on arrival collapsed into an armchair
with a white wine to hand. It was all over and she felt exhilarated, though ex-
hausted, at the thought that Gabriel was that much closer to being hers alone.
To be perfect she would have liked to remove Melissa from the scene but she
saw that it would be completely impossible for too many reasons and as she
didn’t really feel threatened by Melissa’s existence all was effectively perfect. Al-
most perfect, because she would have to cope with Gabriel’s grief once again but
keeping a low profile, and being patient, was one of her strengths and she knew
that she would cope with it easily with the prize now in sight and attainable.
It turned that, although the murder was in the papers, it was not headline news
since Beth was a non-entity as far as the media was concerned, unlike award
winning Kelly. So that on the Thursday afternoon Gabriel made no mention of it
since he hadn’t noticed it in the papers and although Kate had, the name Eliza-
beth Murphy meant nothing to her. Angela was prepared to console Gabriel and,
when he made no mention of it, anticipated that it was going to turn out to be
easier that she had anticipated. She related her previous day with some embel-
lishments to cover the period away from London and showed him a dress that
she had bought the previous week as if she had bought it the previous day.
In fact Gabriel didn’t find out for two weeks when he attempted to phone Beth
and one of her farm friends told him the news. He was shattered and didn’t
know what to think and they told him that it appeared the police had no clues or
suspects. His name hadn’t been mentioned and it appeared that Beth hadn’t told
them of their meeting in Oxford a few weeks previously and he didn’t enlighten
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them, not wishing to be drawn into another murder enquiry. His meeting with
Beth didn’t seem to be relevant. It was also evident that his name couldn’t have
been mentioned as the link with Kelly’s murder would surely have brought them
to his door.
He told Kate after the put the phone down and on returning home he told Melis-
sa. They were both sympathetic and enquired as to the circumstances but there
was precious little to go on and her friends had assumed it was a robbery gone
wrong, though the absence of a suitable weapon was a worrying factor for them
and the police. The inquest and funeral were past so that there was nothing to
do but morn for her. He told Angela all about it at their next tryst and she re-
sponded as the others with concern and from then on it wasn’t mentioned again.
He did wonder at the coincidence of all this misfortune but it never occurred to
him to associate Angela with the tragic sequence of events.
*****
When Melissa heard the news of Beth’s murder from Gabriel her heart froze,
though she kept her feelings locked within herself until she was alone. There was
absolutely no doubt in her mind who had perpetrated this murder as well as the
previous two; she didn’t know how or why but she just knew. She could see it as
an outside observer, she knew Angela and had seen her deep interest in Gabriel
for a long time and had felt Angela’s obsession as an inner fire. She had to de-
cide what to do. She could tell Gabriel but then thought that this might be coun-
terproductive because if Gabriel defended Angela it would bring Angela right into
the middle of her marriage and since she was passionately in love with Gabriel,
even if he was a bit off hand with her at times, she wasn’t about to lose him to
Angela just for the sake of revenge. She could tell the police, and this was the
really difficult decision. It was the most obvious thing to do but if they had not
come up with any clues that led them to Angela so far then there was a good
chance that they had no real evidence. Of course, just by pointing at Angela
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might focus them but it also might not. She felt strongly inclined against telling
them for she knew that Angela was a highly intelligent and resourceful woman
and, whatever she might privately think, Angela had probably covered her tracks
too well and left no evidence and, in this process, she might lose Gabriel. She
could confront Angela but, even as she thought it, she knew that Angela would
just laugh in her face, deny it, get stroppy and even use it to her advantage.
However, there was a need to do something because, if she was right, then the
logical next step for Angela was to go after Melissa, so she had her own personal
safety to consider.
She came to the decision that she would have to enlist Kate, who might also be
at risk. It was a natural choice of confident because it had been clear to her for a
long time that Kate performed that duty known as the ‘office wife’ where she
herself was the ‘at-home wife’. There was, and never had been, a threat from
Kate, who had her own separate and stable personal life, and she was pretty
sure that Gabriel had never slept with Kate even if in the early stages he had
propositioned her. Kate and Melissa were Gabriel’s guardian angels and in fact he
appreciated their combined role in guiding him through the quagmires of life.
Melissa waited until the afternoon of the following day before phoning Kate being
was sure that Gabriel would have told Kate about Beth’s murder by then and
perhaps as soon as he got to work. She didn’t get far into her explanation before
Kate responded with,
“I know exactly what you mean and, yes, we should meet up as soon as possible
as I’m really worried for him.”
They agreed on lunch on the following day, Friday, at a small unobtrusive restau-
rant, just by Cambridge Circus, where they were sure to be undisturbed. They
met as planned and instantly agreed that Angela must be behind these murders,
for it was now assumed by them that Christine had been murdered by the wom-
an in the belted raincoat, who must have been Angela, and also that it was up to
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them to do something about Angela that didn’t, at least initially, involve Gabriel
or the police. This was going to be a big challenge and they were going to have
to be as cunning, even more cunning, than Angela had been in her attacks.
There were two problems, the first was to get some evidence of Angela’s in-
volvement in at least one of the murders that they themselves would find as cor-
roborating their belief, though neither had any doubt, and the second was to get
enough evidence to persuade others, especially the police, that there was a case
to be answered.
They pooled what little knowledge they had about each of the murders and what
they knew about Angela and Gabriel. They concentrated on each murder one at
a time.
The first, Christine, was now over eight weeks old and the only evidence was
that some passenger, or perhaps more, had noticed that there were two people
near Christine when she fell and were unaccounted for. Two months and a fleet-
ing glimpse was not a lot to go on and if there had been a CCTV camera on the
platform and the face of the missing witnesses captured then it would probably
have appeared in the newspapers. Not much to go on there.
The second, Kelly, appeared to be a bit easier at first glance but the as Melissa
remarked,
“I don’t suppose that she just turned up as beautiful, sexy, blonde Angela, she
must have disguised herself surely.” and Kate agreed.
“I’m sure that you’re right and, however she did it, she has managed to fool the
police so far in that they haven’t come knocking at her door otherwise we would
have heard about it. The thing that puzzles me is not only why, though you say
she is obsessive and I suppose that can mean she’s a bit mad, but also how she
came to fix on Kelly. The only connection that I can see, and it’s not my business
to tell you such things in normal circumstances, but Angela went up to Newcastle
with Gab. I wonder if Angela met Kelly though its not like Gab to mix his women
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together, yourself and Kelly being an exception, but then you are his past and
present wives, which is a bit different. I wonder if we can get anything out of
Gab, without him knowing, like if he introduced them to one another. “
Melissa was silent for a moment because she hadn’t known that Gab had taken
Angela on the trip and also that he would have told Kate. However, she quickly
realised that Kate had to know what he was doing during a working day in more
detail than she did, and for a moment she was jealous of Kate, but then dis-
missed it. All personal assistants probably know more than the spouse in many
areas and that this arrangement had been so from time immemorial.
“As you must have guessed, I didn’t know that he had taken Angela with him
though, on reflection, I’m not surprised. He’s done it before with other women
and I had supposed that she is just the latest in his amorous adventures, as I
like to think of them. You’ll have to find out from him as I can hardly do it with-
out bringing the whole Angela affair into the open, which would defeat our pur-
pose.”
Kate hesitated for a moment and then said tentatively,
“I wonder if we could do something anonymously.” but Melissa immediately

knocked it on the head.
“Just suppose we sent a note suggesting that someone knew what she had been
up to. What do you think her reaction would be? Panic? I hardly think so after
what she had shown that she is capable of. I think that she would somehow
work it to her advantage and put me, or both of us in the wrong. After all, who
besides the two of us could possibly make the connections that we have made.”
“I suppose that you’re right”, admitted Kate “but it seems like our only option at
the moment.” Melissa stiffened and said,
“I think that we had best look at the possible outcomes of whatever we are pre-
pared to do and then think of the means of achieving them. We won’t write any-
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thing down, as it can become a bad habit so let’s concentrate and make up a
mental list. I’ll start with Number 1, a life sentence in prison and, Number 2,
some sort of horrible accident that leaves her unattractive and unappealing to
Gab because I can’t see him sticking by her if her obvious attractions are no
longer there. It sounds horrible to say that about someone I really love but, as
likeable and gregarious as he is, he generally just picks on the nearest attractive
woman until he tires of her, or vice versa, and, strangely, for me its flattering
when he comes back after each fling. He comes home as if nothing has hap-
pened, which is true as far as he is concerned, though perhaps not for the unfor-
tunate women he jilts. I can live with this because of all of the good qualities in
him and his compassion for humanity in general which isn’t always reflected in
his private life. But we are all a mass of contradictions aren’t we and, being far
from perfect myself, I’m not in a position to judge. ”
Kate listened quietly and just nodded in agreement and when Melissa had fi-
nished she added,
“Number 3 has to be doing to Angela what she has done to others.”
Melissa stared directly at Kate and said,
“You have just proposed murdering Angela and I confess that I was skirting the
same idea but didn’t have the guts to say it. It will mean that she will have made
murderers of the two of us and perhaps condemned us to that life in prison. Is
that what you are willing to risk?”
“It’s not an easy thing to say, but if we go back to your Number 1, a life sen-
tence for Angela, you can see that it is very doubtful that it can be brought
about. We’ve already touched on telling the police and seen that the evidence is
very unlikely to be there to convict her. What would happen if the plan failed?
That is what we have to ask.”
Melissa thought hard for a moment and came back with,
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“I think that we had best sleep on this and meet up again ASAP. Can you make it
again tomorrow, here, for lunch again?”
“Good idea, and to tell you the truth, as scary as the idea sounds I’ve a feeling
that the alternative is scarier, even if less focused. How we would ever go about
it I have no idea?”
“I’d better get back to the office”, Melissa replied, “I’ll get a taxi and drop you off
and if it make things easier I’ll pick you up and drop you off tomorrow.” So it was
agreed.
The following day the restaurant proprietor was a bit surprised to see them both
back again so soon but then many of his patrons could hardly be said to be con-
ventional being on the outskirts of Soho as he was.
They both ordered a wine and clinked glasses in a conspiratorial fashion.
“I’ll start”, said Kate, “since I proposed this drastic solution. Last night I had a bit
of time for thought as Peter went to bed a bit early. The question I asked myself
was why I was thinking this way and it came down to my own and my family’s
security and secondly because I hate to see Gab, and yourself, being taken down
by this evil woman who will destroy him personally and I suspect make him inef-
fective in his life’s work. The security thing comes down to the fact that Angela
has so far killed three people that she saw as a threat from the past and its logi-
cal to think that she will start seeing every woman that he is associated with in
the same light. She may not find out about his short-term flirtations but we, and
you more so, we will become her next targets sooner or later and I’m not pre-
pared to sit about waiting for it to happen. How she will do it I can’t imagine but
then who would have imagined her past actions?”
Melissa was nodding as Kate spoke, then said,
“I went had much the same thoughts as you but got stumped as to what action
we could possibly take that wouldn’t put us in danger of lifelong imprisonment.
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There is no point in doing anything with any serious risk associated with it, as we
would defeat our own purpose. It’s not just us two that are at risk, there’s Gab
who would be a prime suspect as well. To tell you the truth I think that its al-
most impossible and, as satisfactory as it would be to see her out of the way for
good, I fear that we are going to have to come up with a Plan B.”
Kate smiled and said that it was what all the corporate types called a reality
check and suggested that now they knew one another’s mindset then all they
could do was watch their backs and look out for any opportunities.
“Actually, one of the most difficult parts is just being in the same place at the
same time as Angela. I am never likely to see her unless Gab and I have to go to
some meeting and he brings her along and even then he’s likely to keep her out
of my way. He’s not one to flaunt his affairs around the office, or his colleagues,
so, unless she forces the pace in some way it will just have to be a waiting
game.” Melissa nodded and said,
“ I have much the same problem, unless we happen to meet up at her parents
house or cottage. It could happen at Christmas, but that’s a few weeks off yet.
Let’s leave it to simmer for a while and keep in touch with any further develop-
ments. There is one thing that’s a bit awkward and that is sharing intelligence
because she will be keeping a sharp eye on Gab and both of us are in a trusting
relationship with him. I’m prepared, for his own good - and isn’t that a frighten-
ing phrase - to let you know if anything useful comes up and you will have to do
the same, if you’re willing.” Kate nodded her assent and with that they left the
restaurant and caught a cab back to their offices.
“Watch your back.” were Kate’s parting words.
The following two weeks passed without incident for Gabriel. He met with Angela
at her flat, as before, and they even ventured abroad to one of the local cafes
and a walk on the riverbank. He felt a tension within himself, which he found
hard to pinpoint. Angela was as loving, sparkling and attentive as always though
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somehow, more so. Perhaps she thought that he was about to leave Melissa and
declare himself for her. She was certainly less tense herself but all he could put it
down to was familiarity and contentment on her part. For his part, the fact that
the affair had been going on for so long was starting to make him uneasy for he
could see that decision time was approaching on their horizon and he found that
he was backing off. He had allowed himself to be sucked in to this relationship
on her terms and was beginning to realise that her terms were all or nothing.
Perhaps that was it and the tension arose from the possibility of saying it was
ended and being unsure of the consequences. He had done it often enough be-
fore but it had always been relatively easy, given a few tears here and there. He
had usually initiated the affairs, promised nothing other than a good time and
good sex, so that whatever his current partner wished they probably had no illu-
sions about a long-term future. There was much more a stake in the current af-
fair and he wondered if it was going to be possible to break it off, if and most
likely when, without some serious damage being done. The other thing he knew
about himself, and had always known, was that he was a coward and would put
off the evil day hoping for some chance happening to free him of the bond. Yes,
bond was the right word. A flirtation was one thing but a bond to a possessive
wife was the last thing he wanted.
Angela herself was feeling free and light as air. Everything was perfect and
though she noticed Gabriel’s pensive moments, they didn’t concern her. She put
them down to work, or even domestic, problems that were of no concern to her
enterprise, and this was going exceedingly well. She had started to think of the
next stage because the current arrangements could only last so long before they
started to go stale. They would need to get out and about together to ensure
that their bond strengthened rather than weakened, and that meant that it
would all have to come out into the open. She hadn’t decided whether to induce
him to take more chances and leave it to busybody to reveal their secret to the
world or whether to talk Gabriel into to revealing it himself. She inclined to the
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former view and even wondered if she could engineer a situation where they
were seen together. An ultimatum could easily go against her and she clung to
the old rule of never asking a question that has a possible answer you don’t want
to hear. She knew that Gabriel had had plenty of practice in keeping the various
facets of his life separate, so it might not be easy to lure him into the open. On
the other hand, waiting for chance to accomplish her plans was not her way; she
liked to be in control. The problem needed more thought and she put a deadline
of Christmas, or perhaps the New Year, as a decision point. That was only four
or five weeks off and she reckoned that they would easily hold together until
then.
*****
For once, Angela had made a miscalculation; she hadn’t given Tony a thought
since he unexpected intrusion into her flat a month or more ago. She assumed
that her threat of exposing him to his family would keep him quiet and off her
back. She was wrong and for the reason that, like most people who don’t take
drugs, she didn’t appreciate the hold they had over him. His habit had increased
marginally since they had met and as part of the vicious spiral of dependency,
his work was receiving less attention, and as a consequence his income de-
creased. The thought that his sister had landed so nicely on her feet with a
beautiful flat and a tidy sum to live off rankled more and more. The threat of ex-
posure to his parents began to dim and he began to plan to blackmail Angela,
and perhaps even Gabriel, with the knowledge of their affair. He didn’t have first
hand knowledge but he knew his sister and therefore knew that she would still
have Gabriel in her thrall. There was something else, and it was just a feeling,
but he had overheard his parents talking about unfortunate deaths of some
friends of Gabriel’s and, of course, his parents were full of sympathies for
Gabriel. Tony wondered whether there was more to it. Angela, plus Gabriel, plus
deaths smacked of some involvement by his cold-blooded sister. He had no evi-
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dence and hardly knew how to get any but perhaps even this feeling could be
put to work. However, the liaison with Gabriel was an easier problem to tackle
and he decided to try and gather more evidence or even a photograph of them
together.
Tracking other people’s lives with skimpy evidence is not that easy if you have to
rely on your own resources and Tony knew that he was going to have to be cun-
ning and also spend some time if he was to catch them out. For those with
money, hiring a private detective with some surveillance skills is the best option;
doing it oneself, without those skills is almost not an option except that he had
some insiders knowledge. He decided to ring Gabriel’s office when he was out
and ask Kate which evenings were the best to catch him, or in reverse which
evenings were not suitable. He would plead deletion of his address book from his
mobile phone and if Kate gave him Gabriel’s phone numbers he could at a pinch
ask Gabriel directly. An evening with Gabriel, and a free dinner, would be ok and
he had to admit that he rather liked Gabriel and hoped that he could just get
same cash out of Angela without bringing Gabriel into the picture.
Kate didn’t hesitate and suggested that he was more likely to be free on Monday,
Wednesday and Friday, though Friday was often taken with unplanned meetings
and dinners. He thanked her and then rang his sister, who was in the King’s Col-
lege cafeteria, to ask if he could come round and see her on Tuesday or Thurs-
day evening and that he was sorry for his earlier behaviour. She quickly put the
dampers on that idea and suggested that perhaps Wednesday was a better op-
tion for her and he replied that Wednesday was difficult for him and he’d ring at
the weekend to try and set something up for the following week.
He felt that he had the information he was after and set off immediately to re-
connoitre the area around her flat. He knew the area fairly well but needed to
find a spot where he could keep her flat entrance under observation without
arousing suspicion. He found that with a car, which he could borrow from a
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friend, he could quite easily park it almost opposite the flat entrance or at other
spots up and down the road, assuming that a parking spot became available. Be-
ing November it was dark by 4pm but also rather cold to be seated in an un-
heated car; he would have to put on plenty of warm clothing and take a thermos
of coffee and some sandwiches, as well as his MP3 player to break the monot-
ony.
He settled on his first surveillance for the following Tuesday and prayed that it
would be successful the first time. On the day he found a parking spot after hav-
ing to circle the block a few times, sat in the back seat with his camera, a fast
film and a telephoto lens. There was enough light near the entrance to give him
a good shot if he could only react in time. He was an experienced photographer
and his camera, which had not yet been sold to pay for his habit, had a motor-
ised film, which meant that once he pressed the button the camera would keep
taking photographs until he released it. It would give him a good chance of get-
ting at least one decent shot. He settled himself into the back seat for a long
wait. It was only 15 minutes later that a taxi drew up outside the flat and he saw
Gabriel alight. He grabbed his camera and took about a dozen shots, However,
Gabriel was not well placed for a recognisable photograph and Tony doubted
that any of the photographs would be good enough for his blackmail attempt. He
settled back in to his seat, turned on his radio and started his wait for Gabriel to
come out again.
He was presuming that the two of them would only have an hour or two to-
gether before other calls on Gabriel’s time, or his home duties, sent him on his
way. Tony found that waiting and staying alert is not easy and his mind drifted
off from time to time and he even caught himself nodding off on one occasion.
He opened his sandwiches and coffee after an hour or so and this gave him a bit
more stamina. It was about an hour and three quarters since Gabriel went in
that he eventually came out and Tony was quick enough to get a large number
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of shots that he was sure would be good enough for his purpose. Unfortunately,
Angela was not with Gabriel though he would have been surprised if she was as
he was sure that she was too careful for that sort of exposure. He would have
liked to have confronted his sister there and then but commonsense held him
back Better to have the evidence to hand and the original locked away some-
where. He got out of the car and having taken the telephoto lens off the camera
he slowly walked across the road taking a picture every few steps until he had
the doorway and the name of the flats, Casterbridge Apartments, clearly in the
frame. That would cement any doubts as to where Gabriel had been that eve-
ning.
He returned home and after a snack of crisps and wine he set about developing
the negatives. He didn’t have a proper darkroom but had arranged for the whole
flat to be blacked out soon after he took the lease. It worked fine at night-time
and it wasn’t long before the dripping strips of negatives were hanging up to dry.
He could see that some of the shots were near perfect and left the flat to return
the car while the negatives dried.
He waited until the next morning to ensure that they were dry and hard before
projecting them onto a wall that had been painted white for the purpose. He
found several photos that suited and selected them for printing in the evening.
He made three copies of each of his selected photos, one for Angela, one to
keep in his flat and one to put in the safe keeping of his bank, together with the
negatives. He was set and all he had to do was select the time, place and de-
mand to confront his sister. The actual demand was the hard part because he
didn’t know how much she was worth and it was something to be nicely judged
so that he could go back for more but not so much that she would be unable to
pay. His current needs were about GBP300 per week to feed his habit and until
then he had been using his savings together with the sale of a few of his paint-
ings. He was close to being broke and if he went on much longer he would be
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unable to pay the rent, bills and feed himself. The precipice was getting too close
for comfort.
He decided on £1000 as an initial attempt just to find out her reaction. If she
wanted negatives he would up the demand to £3000 and give her a few nega-
tives and positives knowing that he had many others that would serve just as
well in any later attempt.
He had thought to confront the two of them the next Tuesday but decided
against it on the grounds that Gabriel might keep for another day if Angela dried
up. He wished he knew what she was worth but there was no way of finding out.
He knew how much she had been left by their aunt but not how much the flat
had cost so he was short of information and no way of finding out for although
he was sure his parents knew he also knew that they would not tell him. He
would just have to take the chance.
He rang Angela at the weekend and she agreed to meet him at a pub in her area
at 6pm the following Wednesday. He arrived a bit early and selected a table in a
corner and settled down with a pint of lager. Angela arrived just after 6pm and
he gave her a smile and asked her what she would have.
“I’d like a G&T and if they’ve got any interesting nibbles I’d like some as I’m
starving”
“As always”, he said, “some things never change”.
He brought the drink over and said,
“Tell me what mischief my little sister has been up to since I last saw her.
She looked at him a little coldly saying,
‘Why do you always assume that I’m like you and up to something?”
‘Because its true.’ he said ‘and though others think that butter wouldn’t melt in
your mouth, I’m your brother and know better.’
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She ignored him and carried on,
It’s you that seems to be living the exciting life while I’m just a student who
takes her studies seriously.’
With that, he pulled the envelope containing the photos from his pocket and slid
it across the table. She froze, and said,
‘”What’s this, some sort of game”
“No game, sis, have a look.”
She opened the envelope and out slid the some photos and it was completely
obvious what they were and what the purpose of them was.
“Ok, so you’ve taken some photographs of us. What is it that you want?”
He answered slowly,
“I know what you’re up to and I suspect that there is a lot more to be accounted
for as well.”
“Meaning what? she replied, but he just smiled and said,
“For now, a £1000 on account would help out nicely and we can discuss a con-
tinuing arrangement later.”
Angela was a quick thinker. £1000 was a small enough amount for her but the
thought of an ongoing extortion was out of the question. However, if she played
it well then perhaps Tony could be her means of bringing the relationship with
Gabriel into the open without having to do anything herself. It needed some
thought and she needed to buy time. She came back at him,
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Tony, when you stoop to blackmail and I’m
not sure that I’m prepared to go along with it regardless of the consequences. If
you know me as you say you do you should know that I don’t fall over that eas-
ily. But I will give you a helping hand this once if you give me the negatives and
all the positives and I don’t want to hear any more of this. Remember that you
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have a habit to hide, not only from our parents but also from your clients and
the police. Are we agreed?”
Tony knew that he was on shaky ground but the thought of all the other nega-
tives in the bank reassured him so he made as if to give in.
“Ok, perhaps you are right and I really could do with the money as soon as pos-
sible. Could we meet up tomorrow somewhere convenient to you?”
They settled on a pub off the Strand and Angela said that she would bring cash,
if that was how he wanted it, which, of course, he did. She softened slightly,
“Tony, I know that you must be desperate to come at me like this. We really
should be allies in life, not enemies. The habit you have acquired will get worse
and I can’t help you much as I have less than I think you imagine I have. Why
don’t you let me try and help you give it up? Medical science has a few solutions
that might help. I’ll make enquiries if you want me too and together we can get
you off your dependence.”
Tony was rather floored by this outburst of altruism on Angela’s part and he was
somewhat suspicious of her motives. Perhaps she was just tying to get him off
her back and if he were free of the drug he wouldn’t be calling on her to support
his habit. His rational self also admitted that he wished that he get free of it and
rather than act cynical he smiled at her and said,
“That’s very good of you Ange and, yes, I would like you to make enquiries but
you must realise that until something is put in place I will need to carry on as I
am now. I can’t stop just like that”.
“I know that Tony and will start tomorrow after I have seen you to give you my
gift”, and she emphasised the last word slightly, “and remember that if my own
secret is to come into the open I want it to be at my timing not yours.”
He nodded and thought that perhaps he had come out of all this much better
than he could have expected, and the negatives were still in the bank. His earlier
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suspicion of Angela as a murderer waned under her new found warmth and he
discarded the thoughts, at least for the present.
They met the next day and Angela passed over the money and said that she
would go straight to one of her medical lecturers to begin her enquiries. They
parted amicably and she then phoned her lecturer and made an appointment for
later in the afternoon.
The advice she received was better than she had expected because her lecturer
had had previous experience in helping students in similar situations and was
able to put her on to a good drug rehabilitation group. The group was quite will-
ing for her to accompany Tony on his initial visits so that he could settle into the
program smoothly and were rather pleased when she said that she would not
only meet any expenses but also gave a generous donation. As far as Angela
was concerned it was a good insurance policy.
That evening she rang Tony and arranged a time to make their first visit. It was
really the first time in her life that she had acted in an, almost, altruistic fashion
and also the first time that she had felt any real compassion for another. It gave
her a feeling that she found hard to analyse since it didn’t contain the usual self
centered rationale that usually guided her actions and feelings.
*****
The chance that Melissa and Kate had been waiting for came in the second week
of December. Gabriel and Melissa had agreed to spend Christmas day with Kate
and her family, at Kate’s house, and stay for dinner, games and supper. Howev-
er, they got a call from Angela’s mother, Jodie, a few days later inviting them
down to the cottage, which was actually quite a large affair, for the Christmas
week but had had to decline because of their previous engagement. Jodie, said,
“But that’s no problem, they could all come down as well if we rented our neigh-
bours house, since I know they won’t be there, and they are always willing to let
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it for next to nothing to friends. It would be fun having some small children
(Kate’s, 5 and 7 year olds) to share Santa and all the games.”
Gabriel and Melissa also thought it would be great fun and, the next day, Gabriel
put it to Kate who rang that evening saying that, yes, they would all like to get
out of London for a few days and that their family obligations with parents this
year were non-existent because her parents had departed for warmer climes,
Spain, and his parents were visiting his sister in Aberdeen. He only found out the
following Tuesday that Angela and her brother Tony, were also to be there. He
discussed this with Angela and they came to the conclusion that they could both
handle the situation well enough and, though Gabriel had some misgivings, he
acquiesced to her insistence. He told Melissa that Kate’s family would love to
come. Melissa phoned Kate the following day to say that an opportunity might
arise at the cottage if they were alert. They decided on another lunch, and at it
they planned a scenario that could eliminate Angela from their lives and allow
them to return to normality. They knew that the effect it would have on Angela’s
family would be terrible but they reasoned that it was better than finding out
that their daughter was a multiple murderer.
*****
Angela and Tony went to the first two sessions of the rehabilitation programme
together. He was pleased to have her moral support and she was pleased to see
that he seemed determined to see it through. The initial stages involved some
analysis and some substitute drugs to lessen the craving, though not to eliminate
it. At least it will be a cheaper habit, Angela thought.
They all decided to have their main Christmas dinner in the early evening rather
than at mid-day so that there would be plenty of time to prepare the roast tur-
key and trimmings. They had a ham salad for lunch and a piece of fruit to follow
thus leaving plenty of spare capacity for the evening.
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After lunch Jodie urged them go for a walk, or in fact anything that got them out
of the house and her hair and gave her the space she needed for a few hours.
Dick asked Gabriel if he would come and help in fixing up the boundary fence
and some other odd jobs, Tony went off to do some sketching, Kate’s husband
took the children next door with their toys and declared that he had some work
to do that didn’t wait on Christmas. At this point Melissa suggested that she,
Kate and Angela could go for a walk along the cliff path to work up an appetite,
have a look at the channel, and come back in time to lend a hand. Angela agreed
readily enough, with an inner sense of power over Melissa, and said that she
would be ready in 15 minutes or so.
Melissa and Kate waited outside the front door, renewed their agreement, and
arranged on a signal between them that, when given by either of them, they
would act as one. Just as they came to this arrangement, Angela appeared, look-
ing very pretty in a cashmere coat with a fur lined hood, and they set off with
Angela taking the lead. There wasn’t much choice in direction at the start of the
walk and Melissa was familiar with the path from her previous visits. They
strolled along with Kate and Melissa engaging Angela in chit chat about her stu-
dies, her flat and life in general. They passed the top path down to the beach
and followed the main path as it curved in a parallel direction along the cliff top
. They came to a point where there was a good view out over the small bay and
of some spectacular rocks jutting out from the sea. Melissa started to walk to-
wards the edge cautiously and looked back at Angela asking if it was safe and,
as she expected, Angela scoffed at any danger and came towards the edge, and
there the three of them stood looking out to sea and the deep blue sky. Melissa
then raised her finger and said
“Is that a yacht out there?”
and, at the word ‘yacht’, Melissa and Kate grasped Angela arms and, with a rush,
swept her over the edge with Melissa shouting
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“Murderer” and Angela saying as she went over,
“But you were safe”
and as she plunged down they heard a brief scream and then nothing.
They peered over the edge one at a time with the other one holding on to them
for safety, and it was apparent to both of them that Angela was dead. She had
smashed on some rocks and her head seemed to be split open. The two women
stood back and hugged one another until they stopped shaking, then they turned
and ran back to the house.
On entering they found Tony with his mother in the front room and Jodie was
crying. Ignoring her tears they told of Angela’s accident and of her slipping over
the edge of the cliff.
Jodie looked up and said quietly,
“I’m glad” and paused. “Tony has just told me that before Angela went out he
had quarreled with her and that, in a flash of temper and spite, Angela had said
that Gabriel was just about hers for good since she had seen off the other three
in his life and that they were good riddance.”
He was aghast, in spite of his earlier premonitions, and tried to get more out of
her but she just smirked and said that she was smarter than them all, and that
included the police. Then she had the gone downstairs and out on the walk. To-
ny knew that he couldn’t keep it to himself, it was far too dangerous a secret,
and went down to tell his mother. He had found that she took it relatively calmly
and didn’t argue against his story. She had realised for long, long time that An-
gela had an interest in Gabriel that was far from healthy, her body language
whenever he came in to the room had given her away many years ago and that
recently she had changed. Jodie replied,
“I’ve suspected that there was something more serious between Angela and Ga-
briel recently, but without any evidence. She has always been a clever and re-
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sourceful person with, I’m sorry to say, a ruthless streak in her that demanded
she get her own way. This has led to many family arguments over the years.”
All of this was related to Melissa and Kate in a matter of fact and rather toneless
voice and Jodie finished off with,
“I’m sorry that she was as she was and, of course, its tragic that she met such a
nasty accident, which is hard to wish on anyone, but we would have to tell the
police about our suspicions of the murders and that would not just put her in
prison but would ruin all our lives; not just hers. I think that fate, or whatever,
has taken a hand in her death,” and here she looked at Melissa and Kate, “and
shown us the way forward.”
At this point she dried her eyes, took control in a cool and organised fashion, and
started to direct the recovery operation.
“First of all we will say that she went out for a walk alone and that when she
didn’t return, as it started to become dark and I sent Dick out to look for her and
if he tramples around on the cliff top where she fell it will obliterate any traces .
Melissa can swap shoes with me in case there are any remaining footprints evi-
dent - we know from past visits that we take the same size. Gabriel will have to
be told and I suggest that Kate tells him and brings him in shortly after, but first,
Tony must go back to her flat and check for and remove any evidence of Gabriel,
in case it come to that, and since Tony often used to visit Angela his fingerprints
won’t matter. However, Tony, don’t put any in her bedroom as they would not
expect to find any of yours in there. We can’t remove all of Gabriel’s but a bit of
a wipe in some obvious places won’t do any harm; then go home, Tony, and say
that you have celebrated Christmas with your mates or down at the pub or
whatever is incontrovertible. Melissa and Gabriel likewise are to remove all of
their possessions from the cottage and return home immediately. It must be as if
they had never come. Kate and Peter can stay since they have just rented next
door for a quiet family Christmas and we have joined forces for dinner. I’ll give
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Kate a smaller bird and trimmings to make out that you were going to celebrate
next door before we invited you to share with us.”
Kate interrupted,
“Actually we did bring down a substantial amount of stuff and decorations so

that we would not be dependent on your generosity given that we hardly knew
you.”
Jodie continued,
“I will have to tell Dick, with Tony present, and though it will come as a shock I
think that he will trust us and fall in with my plans. I’m the organiser in our
house and he will be ok and, however upset he is, it will seem appropriate to the
police and rescue workers when they arrive. At a suitable time, that is, after Dick
would have returned to say that he couldn’t find her, I will ring the police and
emergency services and let them take over. We will go out calling for her and I
will make sure that Dick is seen to be doing this when they arrive. I will have to
stay here to receive and brief them.”
As she expected, Gabriel was distraught and Melissa gave him an anti-depressant
pill but was surprised that he didn’t protest Angela’s innocence more vigorously
but she was not to know, until later, that he had had another aura which he had
deciphered, following Kate’s advice, and seen that Angela must somehow, and
he had no idea how, have been involved in the deaths of his former loves. He
had had an insight in to her mentality earlier that day when had seen the look of
possession, triumph and superiority in her eyes. It had faded quickly but it had
given him the feeling of just being a pawn or a trophy in her life and it had re-
pelled him. He listened to Melissa and, trusting her judgment, nodded his assent
and went in to gather his belongings.
Jodie went down the garden with Tony to where Dick was repairing the fence
and told him all. He was unbelieving at first but the force of Jodie’s and Tony’s
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convictions got through to him and even he, a slightly distant father, had seen
the ruthless streak in Angela and understood that she was intellectually capable
of carrying out the murders. He sagged, held on to Jodie and said
“I’ll do as you say, you are generally right in these matters of the heart.”
So, all was set to obscure the true nature of Angela’s fall.
Tony went back to London on his motor cycle and on looking around Angela’s
immaculate flat found nothing of Gabriel which was not surprising since his trysts
with Angela had been an after work affair and he had always gone away with
what he had brought with him other than small gifts, and these could have come
from anyone. There was no record of Gabriel there except for two fresh shirts.
two pairs of underpants and two pairs of socks. He took these for his own pur-
pose and left the flat but not before looking for cash and valuables. He found
very little beyond a few pieces of jewelry and even these he saw were costume
jewelry and of little value. He left empty handed other than the clothes.
Melissa and Gabriel drove back to Hampstead, and, en-route, Gabriel told Melissa
all about his affair from that fatal day in August, the auras , his trysts, his time in
Newcastle and in Oxford. She listened in silence until he had finished and said,
“You’ve been a foolish man, Gabriel, but I strangely enough, I still love you. I
knew that you weren’t perfect when I married you, and I’m imperfect too; that’s
why we are so good for one another. I hope you learn a lesson from all this and
don’t let yourself get carried away by the young and nubile again”
He hung his head and quietly said,
“You are a woman in a million, Melissa, I truly love you and I regret any distress
I’ve caused you. I don’t really mean to be bad, or ever to hurt you, but I know I
let my lusts get the better of me sometimes, and this time it was more like me
being hunted than the other way round. I fell for all the flattery and that was my
weakness.”
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Melissa smiled saying,
“Let’s leave it there. I hope you enjoyed the attention while it lasted. Goodness
knows where it would have led if she had been a bit less ruthless. I suspect that
you would have been a long time regretting it. ”
They arrived back home and after a light snack and a stiff drink, went to bed to-
gether and hugged one another until they fell asleep.
*****
Kate went next door and told Peter about the affair, as far as she knew it, and
confessed to pushing Angela over the cliff with the aid of Melissa. He looked at
her in that calm way he had and said,
“Kate, I trust you, I have always trusted you, and if you say that it was for the
best, then it was for the best. Our job now is to support the story, our friends
and our neighbours. Kate kissed him tenderly and said,
“I like to thank you more, but this is not the time, you will have to go out with
Dick and pretend to look for Angela until the police and others arrive.”
He agreed to do this and left the children with Kate. She took them next door
and she helped Jodie prepare the meal as if nothing had happened because, as
far as their scenario was concerned, nothing had at that point.
Jodie phoned the police at 3.30, when it was quite dark, and they arrived 30 mi-
nutes later from their base in Lyme Regis. They listened to her story, and as she
was finishing Dick and Peter came through he door looking cold and worried say-
ing that they could find no sign of her. The emergency rescue services arrived a
few minutes later, but after checking the local area with flashlights said that they
would have to wait for daylight and would return at 8am. The police took a
statement from each of them and said that they also would return the next
morning.
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It didn’t take long for Angela’s body to be found, though it had been battered
against the rocks during the night, when the tide had come in. She was a nasty
mess and Jodie shuddered and cried when she was asked to identify her. The
body was taken back to Lyme Regis and the due processes of the law. The police
seemed satisfied, as they in fact were. They examined the cliff top and there was
really no evidence on way or the other to suggest how Angela came to slip over.
It was not uncommon for people to peer over a steep drop and then get vertigo
and lose their balance though not often with the dire consequences of this case.
They left after telling the Horton’s about the process of the law, the coroner’s
enquiry the following week and an estimated time for arranging the funeral. This
all proved to be straightforward and a verdict of accidental death was recorded
with no difficulties.
It was a week later that a funeral was held for Angela in Chelsea and she was
cremated followed by a small wake at which Angela’s college friends told the
Horton’s how much they had admired her. After the mourners had departed, the
participants in the main drama decided to meet up in a few days time over a
dinner in a private room of an expensive restaurant in memory of Angela and to
lay her ghost to rest.
*****
The dinner started off somberly over pre-dinner drinks and as they sat down at
the table Jodie rose to her feet and said,
“I’ve asked the restaurant to give us at least 30 minutes before serving the first
course. We are dining here in memory of Angela and I chose this particular res-
taurant because Angela liked expensive dining and came here a few times. How-
ever, I want to lay her to rest properly and I think that it is my prerogative and
duty to do so. I have to say that she was never an easy child and generally
wanted, and often got, her own way. Her early teenage years were particularly
difficult and not for the usual reasons of boys and clothes and all that but be-
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cause she was uncommunicative, kept herself in her room, sulked. This made
her change in attitude when Gabriel visited all the more obvious; she would
brighten up and though she was not overt in her attentions to Gabriel it was ob-
vious to me, and later I think to Melissa, that she was totally smitten by him. I
knew it wasn’t healthy but there was nothing I could do though you may have
noticed that our invitations to you fell off recently; to which Melissa nodded. On
that fateful day last August, she invited herself and I was rather worried for she
had turned eighteen in January, had inherited a considerable sum from her
great-aunt, and had bought a flat in Docklands which she was sharing with an
Australian airline hostess who was hardly ever there and just wanted a pied-a-
terre.
When she arrived on that day, I could see that she was dressed up to kill, even if
she had put on some pseudo-country clothing, and that after she had met Ga-
briel there was a gleam in her eye and I knew that something was afoot. I’m de-
vastated about what happened but of course it takes two to make a couple and
I’m afraid that she picked the right man, Gabriel. However I’m not going to lay
any more blame but I just want to say this, if any of you need or desire to say
anything then say in now and as briefly as you can after which let us keep our
thoughts to ourselves. We should all remember that, however evil Angela turned
out, that we will be had up for murder and accessories to murder if any of this
ever comes out. Do I have your word on this?”
They all assented by nodding and she continued,
“If you really need to talk to someone then keep it within this circle. Now, I’ll
give you all your chance though you don’t need to say anything. Gabriel, you go
first as of those present you have borne the brunt of her malice even if you were
weak in allowing her to seduce you.”
Gabriel responded by standing up and saying,
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“I acknowledge that I have been very foolish in encouraging her but you must all
realise what a determined, and I must say highly attractive and intelligent wom-
an, she was. You all know and tolerate my roving eye, including my darling wife,
and since I have always or nearly always been the pursuer I was extremely flat-
tered by this young woman’s attentions. I should have known better. I grieve
with you all for the loss of ‘Angela the good’ and will try and forget ‘Angela the
bad’.”
At that he sat down and put his head in his hands. Jodie indicated that Melissa
might wish to speak next but Melissa just said,
“I love this man and I’m sorry that he has had to suffer the loss of his former
loves even including Angela. I’ll always be there for him regardless of his wan-
derings.”
and with that she put a protective arm around Gabriel. Kate and Peter had noth-
ing to say and Tony said,
“You are a remarkable mother and I’ll try and make up for what Angela took
away from you. She was always evil and in truth I’m not sorry that she’s gone as
I’ve always known from the very earliest days that she was totally self-centered
and also that, from the age of seven, she had a fix on Gabriel. After that week-
end in August I tried to warn Gab when he came to visit me but I had nothing to
go on besides a foreboding.” He thought it best not to tell them of his own
weaknesses and of Angela’s help in starting him on the road out of his addictive
nightmare. He had deduced that Angels was only helping to get him off her back
and that a sane brother was less likely to cause her trouble. He didn’t like to
think of what his fate would have been if she had decided that he was in her
way.
Dick then spoke and said that he was at a loss to understand where the malice
had come from for it certainly wasn’t from her immediate family and that it must
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have been a throw back. After Dick, they sat in silence for a few moments until
Jodie rang a bell and the meal was served.
The Aftermath
Jodie and Dick
Jodie and Dick led a quiet life for several months as they came to terms with their
shattered lives. Tony stayed with them and eventually confessed to his drug ha-
bits and his attendance at the drug rehabilitation centre. They were neither sur-
prised nor condemnatory and said they would help him in whatever way they
could. In a sense they found it a relief that he was just a normal young man who
had got into trouble and was fighting his way out of it. Their concern for him
muted their angst over Angela and their self-recriminations; it put a purpose and
love back into their lives and the three of them rebounded with one another leav-
ing the dreadful events of the past to fade.
After dinner one night, sitting around the kitchen table told them of the antics of
Angela that they had not been privy to. Cheating in exams, stealing from shops,
and would have gone on until Jodie stopped him. “Tony, my darling, we know
that Angela was evil from the dreadful murders she committed and I think that
those are enough; we don’t need to know all of her misdeeds throughout her
childhood, we were not unaware of all of them and had hoped that as she ma-
tured they would cease and that she would enter the adult world and make her
way putting all the misdeeds of childhood behind her.” They counseled him to
think of positive things in his own life and to stay close to them which he fer-
vently promised to do for he loved them both dearly. Eventually he returned to
his studio flat and felt sadder than he had ever done before and after a short
while started to attend to his latest project and soon the world of Angela was
behind him as he concentrated on line and colour. The memory of Christmas
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2003 gradually faded for him until he saw Angela as a part of his childhood in
that misty memory that most people have of events before they leave the nest.
Kate and Peter
Kate was moved by Jodie’s strength of purpose and determination to put it all
behind her and in discussing her role in the affair with Peter asked him what his
thoughts were on living with a murderer. He replied that he would have thought
less of her if she hadn’t rid the world of such an evil person and that if he was to
be protected in the way she had protected Gabriel than he felt very safe and not
only himself but also for their children. Truly women are far more severe than
men and he was humbled by her steadfastness. It drew them closer together
than ever.
Melissa
Melissa left the restaurant feeling that the world had righted itself and that life
could go on, if not quite as previously, as if there had only been a minor pertur-
bation. She had fought and won for her man, her husband, and was proud of the
fact. She loved him not in spite of his imperfections but because of them. He was
a flawed man in some respects but in the wider world he was fighting for justice
and a decent way of life for all the people and all of nature and she knew that he
was true in his feelings and advocacy. His wandering eye and minor affairs she
saw as no more than someone who has a passion for fajitas or crème caramel; it
was an appetite that he had and satisfied without detriment to those he shared
them with and certainly not to the detriment of the their personal relationship.
He was just what she wanted and needed as she was absolutely certain that it
was reciprocated. She was right.
Gabriel
Gabriel had suffered a lot of shocks to his system over the past six months and
as he contemplated the disasters of the three, no four murders, all on account of
him he felt guilty. However, as he regained his inner strength he saw that he
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might have been weak in letting Angela get such a grip on his life and to suc-
cumb to the flatteries of such a sexy, young and intelligent woman but at the
same time that he was hardly to blame for the acts that Angela had carried out.
This brought him back to reality and as he heard the speeches of Jodie, his wife
and Tony he knew that he was amongst real friends and that he must nourish
these friendships, not for the sake of Angela, but because they were good people
who had put their own safety on the line for him. As the dinner progressed the
confident and outgoing Gabriel came back to life and as he left he passed his
personal card to that rather attractive dark haired waitress unobtrusively. His
blood was flowing again and just after he had done so he caught his wife’s eye
and they exchanged a complicit smile. How many men and women were so lucky
with one another?
Angela
The invitation of Gabriel and Melissa to the cottage at Christmas was just what
Angela desired. She would be able to see Gabriel and gauge the relationship of
Melissa and Gabriel firsthand. She wasn’t sure if Melissa knew but thought that
she probably suspected. It was all too delicious and she was looking forward to
it. She only caught Gabriel on by himself for a few minutes and gave him a quick
kiss and told him to be good.
The offer of a walk with Melissa and Kate was too good to be missed and she
wished that she had not lost her temper with Tony before they set off; but she
assumed that he would not make anything of it and so set off with a light step.
She was enjoying a sense of power and when they stopped at the top of the
cliffs she had the wicked thought that it would have been perfect if she could
have tossed both Kate and Melissa over the edge. The suddenly without warning
they gripped her elbows and with Melissa muttering ‘ murderer’ they pushed her
towards the edge. She tried to say that it was only a thought and she had no in-
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tentions or need to deal with either of them, when she was over the edge and
thinking that perhaps they were a problem after all.
END
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Déjà, Déjà Vu

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

On a pleasant Saturday evening in August, Gabriel Margenau was sitting on a

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Dick looked up and smiled his slow smile.

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Gab took hold of Dick’s elbow and urged him with,

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“The environmental movement is winning about the same amount as it loses as

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

As Thursday evening approached his thoughts wandered to the brother and

He took a taxi at 5:15 to Tony’s studio apartment in Brixton, arriving almost on

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Gabriel stiffened and then tried rather ineffectually to hide it.

“What are you saying, Tony?”

Gabriel paused his thoughts a moment and then confessed,

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“Be careful, there is danger.”

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“Angela, you are looking fabulous and I am very happy to be here.”

“Ah, yes” she murmured almost sub-voce.

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“Why me, am I your obsession,” he asked,

“Where from here?” he queried. She sighed,

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“I give in and it’s true I do notice women.”

“Their bodies you mean.”

“OK their bodies.”

“And that’s all you want?’

“Sometimes and at other times, more; and now I surrender.”

As the dinner wound to a conclusion over a rather sweet concoction of berry

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

In such situations, however, his mind, as always, remained at least partially on

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

“How much for your thoughts, Gab?”

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

With that, he stood up and said,

“Here’s the bathroom and loo, and this is my room.”

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

but she just shrugged he shoulders in a noncommittal way, so he didn’t pursue

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

but it was and he quailed at the thought of what might be coming.

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Returning home he made himself a mushroom omelette and some asparagus,

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

Copyright Frank Burden, Victoria, Australia

He tried to gather his thoughts and spluttered,

“I’m not sure I can make it, Angel.”