KATALYST

NEWSLETTER OF RECONCILING MINISTRIES NETWORK

VOL. 27 NO. 1 WWW.RMNETWORK.ORG WINTER, 2010

How Do You Grow a Growing to Strike “Incompatibility” in 2012

By Rev. Troy Plummer
United Methodist Church?
If you take a statisticians approach “The gay hate language was so
by Rev. John Oda, to the reported votes of annual confer- hard to hear, it just tore my heart open
RMN Board Chair
ences, you can see two things. That again.”
The mission of the the vote totals will be far short of the These calls were supported and en-
United Methodist
Church is to necessary 2/3rds needed to change the hanced by the experiences of other
make disciples constitution of The United Methodist reconcilers:
of Christ for the church, AND that the US annual con- “I thought I was the only one and
transformation of the world. This ferences achieved a simple majority for 40% voted for change here, I need to
means, in part, that our churches the All Means All changes. find them.”
must grow in membership. I Working for justice can just tear “Fear-mongering videos made me
recently sat down with two young
adults and talked about how they you up. It hurts when justice is delayed see red; then I realized that our oppo-
might grow the United Methodist when now is already too late for many nents equate all with gay. That made
Church. Sarah Zils (left) and Jessie of our friends. Some of you shared this me smile. All does mean gay and ev-
Moore are the Youth Directors at with your reconciling staff: eryone else too!”
Davis UMC. I began by asking them “It felt like General Conference all “My straight friends amazed me
why they originally came to Davis over again. We couldn’t even muster a with love and passion that brought
UMC. Sarah was quick to respond,
“We came because the church was simple majority here.” healing I didn’t even know I needed.”
reconciling. We literally looked up “We passed All Means All by 2/3rds, Though the All Means All vote did
gay friendly churches on the internet.” but I thought our vote would be much not reach the super-majority needed, we
Jessie added, “And it was more than higher.” still made progress proclaiming Christ’s
just us being gay. I wanted us to be Continued on Page 6
in a congregation with people who
held the same values as us. I would
not want to worship in a place where
people used the bible to condemn
homosexuality.”
Sarah continued, “As a gay person
we face adversity in our society. We
know that some people don’t think
we are OK, so it was imperative
to us that we attended a church
where people believed that we were
children of God regardless of our
sexual orientation. That’s why it’s
so important that churches that are
reconciling say Out Loud that they
are reconciling, so that the public
knows.”
As teenagers Sarah and Jessie
attended a conservative church.
They were taught in youth group to
Continued on Page 6
Sarah Zils (left) and Jessie Moore

Winter 2010 • Katalyst | 

 Spotlight: Diamond Hill UMC
By Rev. Vicki Flippin
In the fall of 2009, Diamond Hill
UMC decided to officially believe
out loud. Diamond Hill is not new to
controversy. For example, in 1990,
an openly gay pastor was appointed
to Diamond Hill, a small, working
class community church in Cos Cob,
Connecticut. His appointment marked
an important moment in the life of
the church. Some parishioners left
to worship at other nearby United
Methodist (UM) churches; however,
most stayed. By the end of the pastor’s
fourteen-year tenure, every parishioner
respected the pastor’s deep spirituality
and charitable heart. The presence of
this pastor and involvement of other
out gay members changed hearts and
minds at Diamond Hill.
Years later, several factors prompted
the church to begin the reconciling
process. On November 12, 2008, gay
marriage became legal in Connecticut,
and a few same-gender couples began
calling Diamond Hill about weddings,
as the church had become known as a
welcoming UM church. When I spoke
from the pulpit about my sadness in
having to tell hopeful same-gender
couples that they were not welcome
to be married at Diamond Hill, several
parishioners were inspired to ask,
“What can we do?”
In July 2009, I told the congregation
about LGBT rights actions I participated
RECONCILING MINISTRIES NET WORK
mobilizes United Methodists of all
sexual orientations and gender
identities to transform our Church
and world into the full expression
of Christ’s inclusive love.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Helen Andrew
Rachel Birkhahn-Rommelfanger
Vincent Cervantes
Rev. Daniel Diss
Lawrence T. Duncan
Rev. Duane A. Ewers
Elizabeth A. Fimbres
Will J. Green
Rev. Flippin in front of
Esther Villarreal Houser
Diamond Hill UMC
Madelyn Marsh
in at Annual Conference. Several Rev. David Meredith
parishioners were excited to hear about Dr. Randall Miller
these actions. Although it does not self- Rev. Holland Morgan
Rev. Joshua M. Noblitt
identify as an “activist” congregation,
Rev. John Oda
many Diamond Hill parishioners find Elizabeth Okayama
strength in their difference, often stand Rev. Dr. Karen Oliveto
up for what is right, and remember Rosario Quiñones
sending a few petitions to Annual Rev. Dr. Bruce Robbins
Conference once upon a time. Sally Sparks
Rev. Dr. Derrick Spiva
Our small church struggled to find
Monica L. Swink
our mission and vision for the future. Joy T. Watts
When answering the Rethink Church Ralph A. Williams
question, “What is this church known
for?” several parishioners quipped that LEGAL COUNSEL
Jennifer Soule
the church has been known pejoratively
in the community as “the gay church.” RMN STAFF
The response to this question was, “Can Meg Carey
that be turned into a good thing? Why Business Manager
not proudly claim this identity and tell James Dalton
everyone about it? Why not become Communication/Technology
Coord.
Continued on Page 7
Rev. Carl Davis
Director of Development

New Reconciling Communities Stephanie Harris

Admin & Donor Relations Associ-
Congregations ate
Green Street Church of Winston-Salem, NC
Rachel Harvey
Journey of Faith UMC of Round Rock, TX Associate Executive Director
Mount Vernon Place UMC of Washington, DC
Christ Church, UMC of Troy, NY Audrey Krumbach, M.Div.
Diamond Hill UMC of Cos Cob, CT Field Organizer
First UMC of Madison, WI
Rev. Troy Plummer
Communities: Executive Director
Grace Notes SS Class of Denton, TX
Faith & Issues, Living the Question and Spiritual Journey of Delaware, OH

 | Katalyst • Winter 2010

 Planning to Help Through Planned Giving
By Rev. Carl Davis
The couple didn’t know what to do. Their
summer cottage on 6 acres of Lake
Michigan shoreline was a special
place to them. It had been a gift
from the bride’s father on their
wedding day many years ago.
As they raised their family
the cottage became the lo-
cation of many mile-stone
memories. But now their
health prevented them from
maintaining the property and
their children did not want to inherit
it because their careers had taken them far
from the mid-west.
The couple’s first idea was to sell the property and give
the proceeds to their children. But because the property was
received as a gift, the tax basis was -0- making the tax liabil-
ity on the sale proceeds at the maximum. The couple wanted
their children to receive the full value of the property, and
even more than that, they wanted this special place in their
lives to somehow make a special difference in the world.
That’s when they learned about another option through
planned giving. First, they put the house on sale and found
a certified buyer for a price they approved. Secondly, at the
closing, they had present an agent of their church. At the
closing they deeded the home to their church. In that one
transaction the taxes were reduced to -0-. The church repre-
sentative at the closing then sold the property to the certified
buyer, received the check and invested it in a unitrust.
The amount of the sale was about 1 million dollars. A
unitrust requires the donor to receive income at a rate be-
tween 5% - 10%. The couple chose 5%. Now, they receive
$50,000 per year from the unitrust. They used that $50,000
Gifts in Memory and Honor of...
Deborah Maria Honors -
Lebanon Sweet Home
Reconciling Group
Julie Arms Honors -
David Braden
to pay the premium on a second to die life insur-
ance policy that will pay $1 million at the
death of the second person. The life
insurance payment will be divid-
ed between their children. The
original $1 million invested in
the unitrust will grow over time
and, at their death, the benefi-
ciary will be their church. This
wise act of planned giving more
than doubled this couple’s mon-
ey. Their children will inherit even
more money than they would have had
the couple sold the home outright because
of the tax savings and the church which has been such an
important part of this family’s life will be empowered to do
even more ministry in the future through their legacy gift of
1 million dollars.
This story of good stewardship reminds us of the impor-
tance of good planning. Often times it is possible to do more
good than we ever imagined, all through thoughtful planning
- taking the time to ensure that all of our resources are used
according to our values and goals. There are many ways
to support the ministry of Reconciling Ministries Network
through your own planned giving.
If you would like to leave a legacy of justice through your
planned gift to RMN please contact Carl Davis at (773) 736-
5526 or e-mail carl@rmnetwork.org to receive free litera-
ture that describes some ways to include RMN in your estate
planning. Also, if you have already remembered RMN in
your will, please let us know. We would love to know that
you value our work and ministry so much.
The Foreman Family Honors -
Janet Jackson
Ferris Family Remembers -
Kjersti Magnuson
Winter 2010 • Katalyst | 
 Believe
How to hold a Believe Out Loud Gathering:
Phone calls and word of mouth invitations are the most
powerful because they are the most personal, but we know it
can be scary to invite someone to something new. Here are
a few hints to help you get started:

OUTL
• Send invitations. Your personal invitations might sound
something like, “Will you come to my house at 730pm
on Thursday April 15th for a gathering? I am hosting a
coffee party with chocolate cake to talk about how The
United Methodist Church can be more welcoming
to LGBT people.”
• Some people will ask you why you are hosting a
BOLD gathering. If you have two minutes, tell
them your story of self or simply name and describe
a beloved LGBT person in your life and mention
how much you want them to feel welcome in your
church.
In addition to your phone calls and word of mouth
invitations, Facebook, internet invites (like evite.come),
letters, postcards, and announcements in your church
newsletter can help invite and remind people to attend.
A Plan for your BOLD Gathering:
Your BOLD gathering can be very structured with Cambridg
e Welcomin
an agenda, or less planned with a general flow but g Team
flexibility. A few core elements will help you tell
your story, encourage sharing, and invite everyone to
become Believe Out Loud Disciples.
Begin the BOLD discussion by thanking everyone of inclusion, then I ask you to join me in supporting RMN.
for attending and sharing why you chose to hold a gathering. Every person who fills out and sends in this envelope speaks
Encourage participants to get to know one another by asking up for the strong the call for inclusion and justice in The
a simple question, United Methodist Church. Also, I invite you to join me
• Why do you attend the church you attend (if you do)? in sharing financially with RMN. This movement needs
• When was the first time you understood that inclusion of everyone who supports full inclusion to participate in a
all sexual orientations and gender identities is a justice tangible way. When you join me in supporting RMN with
issue? $10 per month from your credit card or checking account,
• What would you change about The United Methodist you give RMN the resources needed to transform the Church
Church? into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love.”
Tell your story of self and invite the participants to share Give people about five minutes to fill out and seal
their stories of self. As the group begins to discuss what their cards. Remember, most envelopes which leave your
could be better about the church, invite them to consider gathering will be forgotten and not returned. If someone
taking tangible action for change by becoming a Believe Out does decide to take their envelope home, encourage them to
Loud Disciple. call you when they send it in, so that you can celebrate their
How To Invite People to Become a BOLD Disciple: commitment with them.
A Believe Out Loud Disciple (BOLD) does three things: After you have collected the cards, consider singing
• Commit to the movement for Full Inclusion by signing a together or offering a prayer of thanksgiving and hope for
RUM card. (RUM = Reconciling United Methodist) the continued growth of The United Methodist Church
• Share their story and invite two other people to become towards full inclusion of people of all sexual orientations
BOLD disciples and gender identities.
• Pledge a regular contribution to RMN
Pass out the RUM envelopes and invite each person to
respond. For instance: “If you feel as I do about the importance
 | Katalyst • Winter 2010
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Goodbye Letter From Tiffany Steinwert

To My Reconciling Family, I only wish you could have the view I have from my
Grace and Peace to you travels. As we gathered in all day workshops, met with our
in the name of Jesus Christ! General and Annual Conference representatives, and mobi-
As many of you know, I lized our expanding constituencies, I glimpsed the Beloved
have been invited to serve as Community coming into being story by story. Friends, our
the sixth Dean of Hendricks movement is magnificent and it is growing! Now more than
Chapel at Syracuse ever, people of faith are gathering to share their stories and
University. It is an unex- break the silence that has kept the church locked in a closet
pected honor and privilege of ignorance and exclusion. By believing out loud these dis-
Tiffany Steinwert
to be invited to serve in this ciples across our connection are shattering the myth that the
capacity and an opportunity to utilize my gifts and graces United Methodist Church is content with the status quo of
as a pastor, scholar and organizer in new ways. It has been prejudice, discrimination and injustice.
a great privilege and pleasure to serve these past three years I am so very grateful for the time we have had together,
as the National Field Director for the Called to Witness for your faithful participation, compassionate commitment
campaign. During my tenure I have had the opportunity to and fierce determination. I have been blessed by your sto-
meet and work with hundreds of faithful Reconciling United ries and forever changed by your witness. While the time has
Methodists…building relationships, organizing strategically come for me to leave the campaign as your National Field
and transforming our beloved Church. All across the con- Director, I will continue to be part of the growing, dynamic
nection from the deep south to the Midwest, from coast to Reconciling movement and the evolving Called to Witness
coast, I met committed and compassionate individuals who initiative from my new position at Syracuse University.
have dedicated their lives and ministries to creating a church Together, my friends, we are truly changing the church one
where all truly means all. story at a time. Paz, Tiffany

Winter 2010 • Katalyst | 

 “Growing to Strike ‘Incompatibility’ in 2012” Continued from Page 1
“How Do You Grow a United Methodist Church?”
Continued from Page 1 inclusive love for all and increasing new teams are forming where little or
“Love the sinner and hate the sin.” our regional organizing skills. Our none existed (Mississippi, Alabama,
As a young person coming out to movement became stronger because South Carolina and Memphis).
themselves, it was hard for them hear
we trained more than 1,000 reconcil- We celebrate that Rev. Dr. Tiffany
this message. Sarah confessed, “It
shook our confidence and made us ask ers in 35 annual conferences. In each Steinwert is the new Dean of the
“Are we OK?” They left that church conference where trainings were held Chapel at Syracuse University and
and did not return to any church for and action taken, there was a double that we already have a team in place
many years. digit percentage increase in support to lead us onward. Tiffany writes, “It
“Churches should come out of the of All Means All compared to other has been a great privilege and plea-
closet about being gay friendly” amendments. It is good to see pow- sure to serve these past three years as
Jessie said, “They would get a lot erful support in the US annual con- the National Director for the Called to
more young people attending their ferences even in the face of a strong Witness campaign…I only wish you
churches.”
disinformation campaign. This sim- could have the view I have from my
Sarah added, “Young queer people ple majority of a church wide vote is travels... Friends, our movement is
don’t go to church because they
associate church as being anti-gay. what we need to strike the “incom- magnificent and it is growing!”
Even allies don’t believe they can be patibility clause” in Tampa in 2012. If you don’t know about the
a Christian and be a gay ally. They And it doesn’t have to be ratified like Believe Out Loud Disciple (BOLD)
think those two terms contradict each a constitutional amendment! Many training in your area, call our office
other. We would see a huge influx of reconcilers experienced the power and ask for Audrey. We’ll get you
young people if we as a church made of sharing their faith story of inclu- connected to what is near you or get
a public statement and said “We
accept everyone no matter what your sion. New leaders are emerging and you the tools to do it yourself!
sexual orientation.”
According to a recent Barna study,
91% of young non-Christians viewed
aff
Meet The RMN St
the church as being anti-gay, and
80% of young Christians described
the church as anti-gay.
Jessie, who is a student at UC Davis
confirmed this, “A lot of kids I talked
to in my classes don’t know that
Davis UMC is gay friendly. I have
to say the word reconciling does not
make it very clear. It is almost a cop
out. It is as if we are trying to say
we are gay friendly without using the
word gay.”
The United Methodist Church has a
long way to go. As an organization
RMN is working hard to continue to
push for changes within the Church
so that young people like Sarah
and Jessie feel welcomed in our
churches.
u d re y K ru m b ach, Carl Davis
A
Troy Plummer, Stephanie Harr
is
Rev. John Oda is the pastor at Davis
James Dalton, y, M e g C a re y,
UMC, located in Davis, California.
Rachel Harve m
He is the current Chair of the
f L e ft to R ig h t - Top to Botto
RMN Board. He also serves on the ove in Order o
California Nevada Annual Conference Staff Listed Ab
Committee on Reconciliation. In
2009 he was honored by City of San
Francisco for his ministry to the
LGBT community.

 | Katalyst • Winter 2010

 Moving Beyond the “Neutral Zone”
by Rachel Harvey
With remnants of Mardi Gras and Super Bowl champion
Saints’ parades still littering the sidewalks and trees, the
RMN board met in New Orleans, Louisiana February 19th
and 20th to celebrate and coordinate, dream and digest,
share stories and strategize. The board welcomed new
MOSAIC representative Maddy Marsh, a student in Denver,
Colorado. Maddy brings a fresh perspective, vibrant energy
and deep passion for inclusion to the board.
In addition to ongoing strategic planning for Convo
2011 and General Conference 2012, the board engaged
in a racism workshop lead by Dr. Martha Orphe, director
of the LA Conference Office of Multicultural Ministries.
Dr. Orphe invited the board to name their fears before
speaking and hearing each other’s stories. Some fears
members brought to the table were: feelings of being
overwhelmed, emotional and embarrassed, that hidden
racism would be made public, empathy would be absent
from our conversation, we would stay stuck in the old
white/black conversation without the complexity of our
full racial/ethnic identities and that we would be too nice
to address white privilege and racism in our movement.
Without allowing their fears to paralyze the group, the
1 3
1) RMN Board in New Orleans, 2) Anti-Racisim Training with Dr. Martha Orphe, 3) New board member Maddy Marsh
“Diamond Hill” Continued from Page 2
officially affiliated with the movement for change in the
church? Let’s get on the list!”
Diamond Hill is not populated by “progressives” or
“activists”- just regular people who feel that any kind
of discrimination has no place in the church. Two lay
members, Randy Dinter and Wayne Hemstead, took the
lead in the reconciling process by writing a letter to the
congregation while learning about discrimination in church
policy. The pastors held a Bible study, which focused
discussions on every word of discriminatory language in
board spoke honesty and openly about places along their
journey where they have witnessed racism from its many
sides. As the group told and heard their emerging story of
us, they began a process to envision a movement where
we speak and hear all stories while working for a church
where we reconcile within and beyond our neutral zones.
In many parts of New Orleans, the median is referred
to as “the neutral zone”. Historically it occupied the space
between American and French neighborhoods; many older
residents remember not being allowed to cross past its
borders. As United Methodists, we live, love and worship
through the effects of neutral zones like the historically
segregated Central Jurisdiction and special Sundays.
Whether the church maintains racial divides via structure
or the establishment of one Sunday to celebrate diversity
– lines are drawn to maintain an air of comfort and sustain
systems of privilege. As Christians we are called to move
beyond our neutral zones and as Reconciling United
Methodists we know that the journey must be traveled with
peace and justice. The board’s work will continue as they
aspire to fulfill our baptismal covenant to resist oppression
in whatever form it presents itself.
the Book of Discipline. After only a few months, Diamond
Hill’s church council unanimously voted to add a sentence
to the mission statement to vocalize disagreement with the
UMC’s stance on LGBT issues.
Many at the church were surprised that no one resisted
the change. In addition, most of the community feedback
has been very positive. The Greenwich Time ran a front-
page story on Diamond Hill’s stance, and the editor wrote a
Sunday editorial praising the church. Thanks be to God that
attitudes are changing in this little corner of Connecticut!
Winter 2010 • Katalyst | 
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Name: (Printed) Year of Birth:

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 | Katalyst • Winter 2010