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Book Review "Why Don't We Listen?" Petersen

Book Review "Why Don't We Listen?" Petersen

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Published by Mike Paddy
A required book critique In partial fulfillment of the requirements of Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
PACO 500
A required book critique In partial fulfillment of the requirements of Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
PACO 500

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Published by: Mike Paddy on Mar 17, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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11/25/2012

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 PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW ONE: PETERSENByMichael Vincent PaddyStudent I.D. 22282275Presented to Dwight C. Rice, D. Min. (Ph.D. Candidate)In partial fulfillment of the requirements of Introduction to Pastoral CounselingPACO 500Liberty Baptist Theological SeminaryLynchburg, VAMarch 16, 2010
 
2HEY!Petersen, James C. 2007.
Why don¶t we listen better? Communicating and connecting inrelationships.
Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications³To every one of you who wants deeper connections with people, to get along better withthem, and to do what you can to enrich their lives. To those of you who listened to me with achallenging acceptance. It touched me, grew me, and held me together. To all of you who let mein on your lives ± your struggles, your failures, and your successes«And for all of you: May younot only listen to those around you, but hear them in a way that encourages creativity,collaboration, and growth. May your footprints always lead others on paths of love and justice´(v).In Dr. Petersen¶s dedication, he communicates his desired outcome of all those who readWhy Don¶t We Listen Better (2007). Good, healthy, communication skills is the key in trying toconnect and relate with people. More a manual than a book it is ³designed to be read in shortsections«you can revisit pieces you want to focus on´ (8). The book is also a journey of self-discovery. After many years of using communication techniques, Peterson still revisits thematerial to ³rethink´ (8) how he relates to others.The concept of how communication evolves is represented by three centers of our body,our brain, our heart and our stomach. Each represents a part of the communication process whereour words are visible and discerned by the listener. The brain is the thought area of our speech. Itis where we formulate what words we use and how we use them. The stomach is our emotionalarea. What emotions are we trying to communicate? The heart is where it all is put together andwe speak. A balanced communicator can take thoughts and emotions and meld them into helpful productive communication. A disproportionate blend of either too much brain or too much
 
3
 stomach creates flat-brained syndrome where it is all emotion and no thought, or the flat-braintango, all thought no emotion.The Talker-Listener Process is the key to creating an environment where two or more people can talk and listen to each other well promoting a healthy communication atmosphere.The Talker Listener Card, (TLC), can help those who want to improve their ability to interactwith others and communicate better, especially the listening aspect.Its design is crafted to be a helpful reminder of the roles of the Talker and the Listener.The TLC can be folded into a tent shaped stand with the sides of the tent facing two people whoare trying to communicate. It helps with clear description, goals and actions of each in thecommunication process. The TLC is like a traffic light helping the individuals facing the card tounderstand what they need to be doing at that moment depending on whether they are the Talker,or the Listener.The book moves onto developing good communication skills using honest authenticlistening techniques Petersen offers. We can start by avoiding the traps listeners often fall intowhen faining their interest in another¶s words. There is a whole section filled with helpfulsuggestions in employing good questions, body language and appropriate comments to keep usengaged with each other. The author also offers advice on helping us understand thecommunication process in stressful and unusually difficult circumstances.
TALKER 
 I 
¶m most bothered 
 I 
own the problem
Goals: To share my feelings
 
To share my thoughtsWithout: Accusing, Attacking,Labeling, Judging
LISTENER 
 I 
¶m calm enough to hear 
 I 
don¶t own the problem
Goals: To provide safetyTo understandTo clarifyWithout: Agreeing, DisagreeingAdvising, Defending

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