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The New Hospital Wing

The New Hospital Wing

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Published by claeu

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Published by: claeu on Mar 17, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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The New Hospital Wing++++++++When some doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at ahospital, the allergists voted to scratch it; the dermatologists preferred no rash moves; thegastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it; the microsurgeons were thinking along the samevein; the neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve"; the obstetricians statedthey were labouring under a misconception; the ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the orthopaedists issued a joint resolution; the parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst";the pathologistsyelled, "Over my dead body!"; the paediatricians said, "Grow up!"; the proctologists said, "Weare in arrears"; the psychiatrists thought it was madness; and finally, the surgeons decided towash their hands of the whole thing. The radiologists could see right through it; the interniststhought it was a hard pill to swallow; the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face onthe matter"; the podiatrists thought it was a big step forward; the physiotherapists thought theywere being manipulated; the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water; theanaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; the cardiologists didn't have the heart to sayno; and the otologists were deaf to the idea. Needless to say, the idea of contributing to a new wing didn't fly! ______________________________________ 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for Imay not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leakytire.3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.6. No one is listening until you fart.7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warningto others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualitie withoutyour help.11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Thatway, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, andhe will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.15. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probablyworth it.16. Don't squat with your spurs on.17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment.22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.25. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and itholds the universe together.26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

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