GOLD

BRICK
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A gold brick, 7 5/8 inches by 3 5/8 inches by 2 ¼ inches, it

weights almost forty-three pounds. How much is it worth? Hold
on to your pants, a whopping $805,851.00 in today’s market.
That is interesting; you say but what does that have to do with
gold bricks?

Now, I am the most famous twelve year old in the United

States! I am going to be on Oprah, the Early Show and Today
Show, ok it was somewhat cool to have plane tickets and stuff.
Whenever the phone rings, Mary Jane (that is my Mom) looks
at me as if I am an axe murder. I cannot have a cell phone now,
my personal assistant (a real bodyguard in a skirt, steely blue
eyes and permanent frown in Maybelline). Ok I am getting
ahead of myself, all this happened in the last two months and I
am still in Freakville.

I have always daydreamed a lot duh, thoughts just pop into my

head and off I go. My mind is as a speeding car with worn out
brakes, once I start it is hard to stop or slow down. Well
anyway, about two weeks ago, a wild freaky thing happened to
me. I was in Miss Wimples’ afternoon class; I sit in the back
corner by the windows. It was hot that afternoon so I had the
window by my desk pushed out all the way. I had been
daydreaming about Leprechauns, well a particular leprechaun
but more about Howdy later. I began to realize that everyone
was looking at me and whispering to each other, and then
looking back at me strangely.

“What?” I blurted out. I was embarrassed to be the center of

attention. As I turned to look back at everyone, I bumped into

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something rough and heavy on top of my desk. My elbow

rubbed against something very rough. “WOW” I nearly
hollered. Miss Wimple looked up from the paperwork on her
desk, she had been marking papers with the famous ‘blood
pencil’, you get your paperwork back all marked up in red.
“Billy what is the matter with you?” She said with that
distracted look she has behind those big fish bowl eyeglasses
she wears.

My face was white as chalk; my hands were damp with sweat.

“I, I, I have a gold brick on m my desk, Miss Wimple.” I was
mumbling and the noise level in the room had gotten very
loud. “Billy please bring that thing up here.” Said Miss Wimple
always bagged me for goofing and daydreaming. My eyes
nearly popped out cause when I picked up the brick I needed
both hands to hold it. With both hands, I carried the 43-pound
brick to the front of the class with everyone leaning out in the
lisle to get a better look. A tidal wave of noise followed me to
the front of the room.

The top and bottom of the brick were smooth as glass, but the
sides were very rough like a cement block. Even Miss Wimple
gasped when she saw the brick up close. I dropped it onto the
desk only a few inches but it made a loud thunk and dented
the wood of the desk, everyone laughed. Miss Wimple rubbed
her finger slowly back and forth across the smooth top of the
brick, catching her breath, then said. “It really is gold, Billy!”
Miss Wimple’s voice was almost a squeak and she was getting
very nervous and excited at the same time. She leaped out of
her chair and declared in a loud voice “Early recess, but not
you Billy” She turned to Jenny who was just leaving the room.

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“Jenny do not say any thing about what is going on here, but
go get Mr. Nicholas to come to the classroom please.”

Jenny nodded; she always ran errands for Miss Wimple. Miss
Wimple and I just stood there and looked at each other and the
brick. I could hear the slap, slap, slap of Mr. Nicholas’
Frankenstein shoes coming up the hall. The big black shoes
were really Dr. Schools massaging gel shoes. However, one
look at them and everyone said they looked like Frankenstein’s
best pair with thick soles, big toes and clunky laces.

“What the?” Said Mr. Nicholas aka Golden Bear which

everyone called him behind his back. He was almost as round
as he was tall, and he was really-really-really tall like a Chicago
Bears linebacker. He has thick curly blond hair and a beard
that covers his bow tie but you know it is under there. Mr.
Nichols cleared his throat “Wanda (that was Miss Wimple’s
first name but we couldn’t use it) what is going on in here?”
He said, as he reached out and grabbed the brick.

“Billy just had it sitting on his desk, and then he yelled “WOW”
getting everyone’s attention. Almost in a whisper, Miss Wimple
said, “It’s real”. Mr. Nicholas eyebrows shot up under his hair
on his head. “Come along both of you to my office”, he said.

Then that horrible question came out for the first time. The
Golden Bear said, “Billy where did you get this brick?” My face
started burning and I said, “I don’t know it was just there.
Well, I was daydreaming about a Leprechaun named Howdy
and the brick was just there! Honest!” The words shot out of
my mouth like an Uzi submachine gun. The Golden Bear

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stopped (he can really stop fast with those big thumpers)
turned around because he was ahead of me and said darkly.
“Billy! It has to have come from somewhere...” The Golden
Bear was getting upset, he did not like mysteries and I was the
cause of one.

The next hour was the most miserable in my life. My mom said
she could not get off work until 4 o’clock, which frustrated Mr.
Nicholas. However, Detective Smith from the Chesterfield PD
was there with his lights flashing right in front of the school.
Detective Smith was a thin man with a tiny mustache the size
of a small caterpillar crawling across his lip under his hawk
shaped nose.

Detective Smith kept me for another hour and took page after
page of notes from Miss Wimple, every classmate that had
been in the room and the Golden Bear. He just gave me the
evil eye after I told him about Howdy. Finally mom came and
Boy! She took control immediately; she told Detective Smith
and the Golden Bear to leave us alone for a while.

Mom got me a Coke from the machine; it was like a taste of

heaven after the last couple of hours not having anything to
drink. I knew Mom was trying to relax me, but I knew she
wanted every single detail about my daydream before anyone
else. “Go slow Billy and try to remember everything”, Mom
said.

Therefore, I started at the beginning. “Ya see I was goofing

around while surfing the web. I found pictures of Jessie the
cowgirl. I really liked Toy Story and Grandpa Willard had both

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DVD’s for my stay over night last week. Part way through
number two he started laughing at Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl.
He said she looked like Howdy Doody’s sister. I thought,
“Whatever old people get strange sometimes.” However, after
the movies he went down into the basement storeroom and
came back with this old hand puppet. He did kind of look like
Jessie, but even Leprechauns have red hair and freckles I
complained. Where did that come from? I it just popped out of
my mouth I had been thinking of cowboys and Toy Story. That
night after getting off gramps PC having found pictures of
Howdy Doody and Cowboy Bob, Leprechauns and Toy Story I
was very tired. I crawled into my overnight sleeping bag. I was
dreaming about Howdy Doody, Jessie and leprechauns. Howdy
sat on top of a pile of jumbled up gold bricks all laughing at me
and throwing small gold nuggets that hurt! I fought back with
rocks from behind a big oak tree, but woke up before I could
really plaster Howdy.

Grandpa Willard came into the bathroom in the morning and

asked where I got all those bruises on my arms, back and
chest. I wiped steam off the mirror and looked at myself and
there I was with twenty or thirty small black and blue spots all
over me! They never hurt and I forgot about them after I told
gramps about my dream. Now mom had me try to remember
everything about my night at Grandpa Willard’s.

Mom had her cell phone up to her ear but I could still hear part
of what Grandpa Willard was saying. “Mary Jane the boy is
telling the truth. I heard him having bad dreams on the family
room carpet going on about a dream, saying ouch-ouch over
and over again.” Mom walked out into the outer office then

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and had a conversation with Detective Smith and Golden Bear.

So that’s about it, except for daydreaming about having a
rematch with Howdy in class, he still hid behind his gold bricks
except now they were like a fort. I gave a good as I got.

Mom came back into Mr. Nicholas’ office and asked me to take
off “Incredibles t-shirt” I was wearing; Mom sucked her breath
in, because I had those bruises again. I started leaning away
from her against the desk when I felt something hard against
my Wrangler pants pocket. I jumped as if I had been burnt.
There was another gold brick on Golden Bear’s desk.

The Golden Bear and Detective Smith both wanted to know

how it got there! Detective Smith was very excited, because he
said the science teacher called the bank after he weighed and
tested the first brick. It was worth over $800,000 dollars! That
gave me a strange tingling sensation all over. I could almost
hear Howdy laughing at me, and then I went round the bend
when I heard Jenny giggling in the background. I could not tell
if it was Toy Story Jenny or classroom Jenny, it dawned on me
they looked alike. With a sigh of “like this is not the time to
think about that problem”. Billy put his head down resigned;
tons of stupid adult questions were to come.

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Chapter 2

“Is he asleep dad?” Mary Jane stared up into Willard’s eyes

with an expression of total exhaustion. It was three in the
morning, and Billy was finally asleep in his room. It took Mr.
Rippie until after six to get Billy and Mary Jane away from
Detective Smith. Finally, a phone call from the mayor put
Detective Smith on ice. Mr. Rippie was the family lawyer and a
graduate of Butler University School of Law (no one ever left
Mr. Rippie’s office without a Butler booster’s packet). Mr.
Rippie wore yellow suspenders and a matching bow tie seven
days a week with his red shirts and a shapeless brown suit.
Nevertheless, that was not the worst of Mr. Rippie’s habits; he
always wore a pair of crème and tan saddle oxfords. The store

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in Mounds Mall ordered them for him by the dozen, the

problem being that the crepe bottoms wore out after a couple
of months. But Mr. Rippie was very ‘green aware’; yea all the
used saddle oxfords had golf cleats installed and were given
away to the public golf course (tax credit applied for each
time, of course). Mr. Rippie’s golf partner was Elwin
Goldhammer, C.P.A. who buys the most billboard space in
Madison County.

Grandpa Willard pushed Goldhammer out Mary Jane’s front

door along with Mr. Rippie as the hall clock chimed midnight.
There was a new permanent resident added that evening as
well, Lupé Lopez. Lupé was going to take an early retirement
from the Sherriff’s department as gun range supervisor. Lupé
and Mary Jane had been best friends for about thirty years and
Mary Jane could count on her to look after Billy in every way
possible. Lupé made sure Sherriff Higgins had a patrol car
there for Billy 24/7 until all the excitement died down. Which
right now looked to be a long time in coming?

It was almost two weeks before Billy could go back to school.

Billy went from one doctor’s office to the next with the
question “Is he normal?” in the back of everyone’s mind. He
had been poked, pinched and needled (stuff going in, blood
coming out), and he felt like a camel from all the water he had
to drink to fill all those cups. The worst was the “shrinks”,
MD’s, PhD’s and counselors; Billy had to sit or lay on more
furniture than the Furniture Outlet at the mall. All this was
really for the benefit of both Detectives Smith and Mr. Nicholas
who would not let Billy back into school until he was declared
fit.

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Pastor Fred Funk the head pastor of Chesterfield Community

Church was the best though. He knew Billy and the family for
many years. Pastor Fred talked about greed and self-control,
and about being thankful to God. “Every good gift and every
perfect gift is from above” quoted Pastor Fred James 1:17.
Pastor Fred did not say Billy was nuts, he just said ‘God moves
in mysterious ways’.

Billy’s house was an older red brick ranch style with four
bedrooms and many trees all around it. Mowing the lawn was
always an all day job but Billy did not mind as he could be off
daydreaming the whole time. The squad car in the driveway
plus Lupé in the doorway to keep the paparazzi off the
property gave some sense of calm. ISP (Indiana State Police)
kept the highways clear of paparazzi but it was a full time job
for over a week. Because of Lupé, Mary Jane insisted on using
the Madison County Sherriff’s office for all escorts.

Billy did get out of town for his quick plane trip to Chicago and
the Oprah Show. This was Oprah’s last year and she was doing
everything with a bang. Oprah did spent some time with Billy
in her office; she talked about her Book of the Month Club.
Why? Because Oprah told Billy, he still had a “Big” mystery to
solve about the gold bricks and how it would make a wonderful
story.

Jenny Murphy called a couple of times to find out how Billy was
doing. Jenny gave Billy’s stomach butterflies just talking to her
on the phone because he knew she really liked him, but for a
girl she was a friend so it was okay. Carl and Smitty (whose

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name was Larry but nobody dared call him that) were Billy’s
‘buds’ and came over anytime things got too depressing
during that time before Billy could go back to school. In fact,
the only time Jenny came over to the house was when Carl and
Smitty dragged her over to play detective. Billy’s room was
just big enough for the four of them, lying on the carpet in the
middle head-to-head. They were doing this because Smitty’s
idea of taking notes and arguing about the bricks did not do
anything. Therefore, Jenny wanted to try daydreaming as a
group looking up at Billy’s star charts on the ceiling. They
formed a compass, Jenny-north, Smitty-east, Carl-south and
Billy –west. “So here we are” thought Billy. “Ok close my eyes
(eye roll behind the eyelids thinking of all the times the
shrinks made him do this), and just let myself go into a
daydream.” Jenny said no pillows, just heads on the carpet and
NO TALKING. “Geeze Louise Jenny,” Carl grumbled.

Billy noticed after a few minutes the room grew quiet, it was
even hard to hear the others breathing. “Hey!” Thought Billy,
“I’m daydreaming it’s the first time since the principle’s office
it’s really happened. Wow,” Billy thought this daydream looked
like Mounds State Park just up the road. ‘Pussitt’ the sound
came to Billy’s ear and a sting to Billy’s right arm caught his
attention, and there was a nugget of gold lying in the grass!
“Howdy is that you?” Billy yelled after a pop, a sting to Billy’s
back; followed by chuckling from behind a nearby Indian
mound, and Billy knew it was. “You bean buzy Billy boy,”
Howdy chided sounding like an Irishman and not a cowboy “no
time fer dreaming and fighting wid the likes O me?” “Howdy
can we just talk for a minute? Truce?” he asked; “blimey Billy
what would you and I talk aboot?” said Howdy.

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“Well we could start by you telling me why you think it’s funny
to throw nuggets at me.” Billy in an irritable voice grumped at
Howdy. “Oh, that’s my wee way of getting yer attention; ya
really tend to wander when you’re dreaming Billy”. While they
had began talking Billy could just see Dowdy’s bright red mop
of hair bobbing out the side of the Indian mound. “Ok” said
Billy “but what about the bricks?” Howdy threw up his hands
and fell to the ground, kicking his heels into the air and
howling with laughter. Then with tears streaming down his
cheeks he sat up and said:” Billy that’s not been me atall those
bricks have come from your side of the mist, and a fine pair tis
been.” With that, Howdy winked out of existence in Billy’s
dream. Carl gave a big bellow and sat up from the compass.
Everyone sat up; their eyes blinking after being shut so long,
then a stared into the middle where now there were four gold
bricks! A tiny shred of paper atop each with one saying it was
for that person.

Lupé burst into the room, looking very dangerous with a Billy
club in hand. Both Lupé and Billy (the boy not the club)
groaned at the same time. They were already doing reruns in
their minds of past week, boy what a pain. “I can call a deputy
and have him take the brick to the National Bank in the mall”,
Lupé urged. Grandpa Willard was in the doorway with a canvas
bag to put the bricks into it. Billy wondered if Grandpa knew
something he had not shared or if he was just prepared. The
parents were notified, informing them of this startling event.

With the bricks on the way to the bank, of course Detective

Smith was there! “Pictures of my room,” thought Billy “along

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with all that gooey fingerprint black dust. Yuck!” None of the
four friends had had time to get excited over the two new
bricks showing up. Nevertheless, they were certainly giving
each other hand signals and whispering desperately to each
other. No one wanted to tell Detective Smith that each one had
the same dream with Howdy. Carl, Smitty and Jenny whispered
to each other that they had shared Billy’s daydream with
Howdy in it. Both Lupé and Grandpa got the message that the
kids had something to tell them without the Detective present.

Chapter 3
Mary Jane and Billy did not live within the city limits of
Chesterfield Lupé said, to all four after Detective Smith’s crew
left without a single new fingerprint other than those who
were there. Lupé called Deputy Jeb Rozenaxe (and yes he had
a tattoo with a rose and axe on his shoulder) he was a Sheriff’s
detective in the county. After interviewing the ‘Gold brick
gang’ Jeb advised having a State trooper detective along too.
Buzz Nightgear was in uniform and eager to help, he said he
had already called in several units to block off Mounds State
Park.

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Fiddle Back Mound was where Deputy Jeb discovered the gold
dust, tiny particles of gold the dust on the grass behind the
mound. The press denied access to where investigators were,
were frantic for a story. Word did leak out as it usually does
that evidence of Howdy had been found, and now the FBI was
getting involved! What a fight; all the different law
enforcement agencies trying to get a piece of the action! The
FBI had to get a federal judge to allow them access to the
case, the fact that Mounds was a state park not a federal one
caused concern. Everyone kept tight lipped about anything and
everything to do with the “Gold Brick Case”.

The FBI got under everyone’s skin; from the first doorbell ring,
the agents were spooky. The male agent wore dark sunglasses
(mirror reflections) and introduced himself as Mr. Skull E. Oh;
he did not like the tag Mr. E, “just call me Skull E (Skully)

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please” he said. Then there was his partner an auburn haired

woman Ms. Mould D and she informed the gang that they were
from a special paranormal unit. Ms. D wore a black pants suit
with black wedgies, and had identical sunglasses as Skull E.
Agent E interviewed all three boys with Grandpa watching over
his shoulder, and Ms. D pulled Mary Jane, Jenney and Lupé into
the kitchen one by one.

After two more days of questioning the FIB let Billy, go back to
school! However, the FBI’s big black RV stayed parked outside
wherever Billy was at the time. The RV ruined Billy’s view from
his back seat by the window in Miss Wimples’ class, but did
start bring up his grades for the class due to not being able to
daydream so much.

Billy, Carl, Smitty and Jenney hung together during lunch break
and nobody got close with Lupé and the FBI standing guard. As
the ‘Gold Brick Gang’ discussed every little detail they could
think of a few clues became clear. First, they tried pairing up
in Billy’s room Billy-Carl, Billy-Smitty and Billy-Jenney, but
nothing happened other than memorizing the carpet weave.

After a couple weeks back in school agents, Skull E and Mould

D encouraged them to try daydreaming again by getting back
to the compass position after school. A considerable discussion
then took place, and the FBI agreed to sweep Mary Jane’s
house for bugs and any other spy devices. After the sweep,
whatever that meant, there was no love lost for the media, the
FBI had two different news agencies donate to each Gold Brick
Gang member’s trust fund, and need I say more? Then there

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was the clue about the bricks coming from this side of the
Mist, everyone was baffled.

After a couple days of preparation, the gang was in Billy’s

room spread into their compass. It took almost an hour of
patience for something to happen. Billy felt the late afternoon
coolness of the grass and the shadows of the trees; could hear
the White Water River behind Fiddle Back Mound. Then he felt
two other heads touching his on the grass! “We’re all in this
together!” exclaimed Smitty. Then they all heard the shrill
whistle of Howdy. He was leaning against a tree near Fiddle
Back with a sly grin on his freckled face. “Well if it tisn’t the
‘Gold Brick Gang’ paying me a wee visit I see.” Howdy, spoke
in a much-exaggerated Irish brogue. He held up his hand
calling for quiet, as everyone began speaking at once.

“I will not be gainsaying you any secrets today. Now listen

up,” said Howdy in a serious tone... “The answers ye seek can
only be given after you’ve gone to Rockwell College in
Tipperary Ireland. Tis fine boarding school fer lads and lasses
aged from 12 to 19. Each of you has been given a Trust fund
from which all expenses will be paid fer goin to Rockwell, paid
for by a local chapter of the Lucky Leprechaun Society.” Howdy
had quite a twinkling in his handsome green eyes, the look a
knowing one. ‘Mark me all four must go and you must learn
what the school tries to teach ye, including the learnen and
speaking of Irish. You will not be seein my pretty face til ye
can speak to me in the Gaelic tongue.”

With a suddenness of a splash of ice-cold water in the face, the

gang was back in Billy’s room. Each felt the smoothness and

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roughness of a gold brick under each left hand and the

crispness of the little rolled parchment between thumb and
forefinger of the other. Each note gave ownership of the brick
to the holder, instructions, and invitation to Rockwell College.
The arguments within each family were very intense until
nearly the end of the school year. However, the FBI finally
convinced everyone that to go to Ireland was the wisest and
safest thing to do. This would be a secret between the families
and the FBI, uh yea and between the Lucky Leprechaun Society
benefactors as well.

Therefore, it was 10 days after school let out that the four
gathered at the Anderson airport in the wee hours of the
morning. The fast and sleek little 12-passenger jet finally
rumbled and roared down the short runway and into the night
sky full of stars and dreams. The four friends were off on the
adventure of a lifetime.

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