April 1, 2010
Vol. 82, No. 23
The Canchor is student-run and published weekly during the academic year. Editorial decisions for The Canchor are made by a majority vote of its student editorial board. No form of censorship will beimposed by the college. Any material found to be unsuitable or unacceptable in the board’s opinion will not be published. The views expressed in The Canchor, unless otherwise noted, are those of theindividual authors and do not necessarily represent those of The Canchor or of Rhode Island College’s faculty, administration or student body. The rst copy is free. Each additional copy is $2.25.Copyright © 2010 The Canchor. All rights reserved.
on the cover:
Photograph by Hayden James for
Aaron Buckley slathers Editor Andrew Augustus in soothing lotion. Photograph by Alexander Hoffman - Canchor
So I herd u liek Mudkipz.
Canchor Layout Editor Daniel Jordan heard about your interests. Photograph byMadeline Maloney.
Chilean EarthquakeKnocks Earth Off It’s Axis.
How freakin’ crazy is that?SCIENCE!
Obama Declares CuteCat Videos Harmful to Ameri-can Economy.
Obama takes a stance against Internet Cats.
Gamer to Play for De-prived Gamers.
Gamer holds solo marathon for gamerseverywhere.
Gigantic Kitten FightsGodzilla in Times Square.
Twowalk in, one walks out in thisepic catght.
Chess Club Sabotagedby Average Joe.
Conspiracycomes of of old VP puts Clubin checkmate.
Soy un Perdedor.
So-cialists give our Raver a leg cramp.
How to Survive a Zom-bie Attack.
The Canchor’sown zombie tells you how to survive.
We reviewthe best of them all. Greasyburgers.
Spice Up Your Life.
Have great sex by joining your local BDSM scene.
Ever feel like you just need todisappear for a while? Or forever?
How to Raise Your Xenomorph.
Because whodoesn’t want an alien who’ll have babies through your stomach?
Justin Beiber’s My World2.0.
Rob rates this album asWORST. ALMBUM. EVER.
RIC Mainstage ChangesShows Again. “
Chicago” and “Pippen” are exit stage left. In comes “Carousel.”
America the Beautiful.
For those cheap and easydates, try Patriot Cinemas.
Rock Hunt and OSFSFestival Headline April Enter-tainment.
WXIN holds yearlyconcerts yet again.
Attack the Gas Station.
Contains: Chinese DeliveryGangsters. A must see for everyone.
A silly car-toon you’ve probably never heard of.
Editor in Chief Takes thePlunge.
Kam faces biggest challenge of his life in Costa Rica.
RIC Now Home to MidgetTossing Champion.
Seriously.We couldn’t make this shit up.
NFL Becomes NFFL.
The NFL goes for the ags.
March Madness Snips.
Vesectomies go up during big- gest basketball week.
New Fossil SolvesExtinction Mystery.
Dinosaurswrapped it before they tapped it.