Love Relationship Resolutions for 2010By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. Now that we're well into 2010, how are you doing with your New Year's resolutions?Setting goals in the love department is just as important as losing weight or getting your finances in shape. So even though you may already be working on other resolutions, don't put your relationship on the back burner.Instead of accentuating the positives, the advice from couples' research often focuses onminimizing the negatives - don't nag, don't withhold sex, don't overreact, don't try tocontrol. But why not focus your love resolutions on the do's instead of don'ts? Positiveemotions can open you up to new possibilities.
So, if you want to actively enrich your love relationship, here are some tips on how to go about it:1.
Express your gratitude often.
Remembering to thank your partner may soundoverly simplistic, but it can help bring to mind their good qualities. Complimentsserve as positive reinforcements at the very times when you may be taking eachother for granted.2.
Inject humor and laughter
. Lightheartedness is often one of the first casualtiesof a busy and hectic family life. Keep fun alive by joking around or using petnames with your partner. Making time to be playful with each other can often leadto greater intimacy.3.
Compromise works in most conflicts.
Be direct, yet open and flexible as youmake your way through disagreements. Putting yourself in your partner's shoesand truly understanding the other point of view can help resolve a conflict moreeasily and quickly.4.
A gentle touch or a quick hug can release oxytocin, ahormone that facilitates bonding as well as reduces blood pressure and stresslevels. When you're feeling tense, an affectionate moment can help you feelcloser, loved and even more relaxed.5.
Celebrate good times.
Respond enthusiastically when something positivehappens to your partner. Make the most of it by asking relevant questions and being complimentary. Studies have found that celebrating positive events predictsgreater relationship satisfaction than commiserating over negative ones.6.
Pay attention to you.
Investing in your own happiness will take the pressure off the relationship as the main source of your wellbeing. Take positive action in your own life. You'll have a better attitude, be more interesting to your partner, andyour relationship will reap the dividends.