A werewolf love story«I sat next to Jared for years, and he barely looked at me twice.But why would he? I was just Kim; plain and boring. He was popular, he was really gorgeous, andguys like him don't go for girls like me. It broke my heart though. Every day he would sit next to me,shouting to his friends across the classroom, completely ignoring me. I don't even think he knew myname.Every day I opened up my homework journal, careful not to let the front cover fall open and reveal thewords I had etched onto it: 'Kim 4 Jared'.I fantasised about him standing up in front of the whole class and announcing that he was in love withme. I imagined him seeing my journal, going quiet for a moment, before showing me the exact samewords etched onto his journal. I know these were pathetic daydreams, but they were all that kept megoing. He was sitting right next to me, so close that I could touch, but yet I knew I never could.I tried to move on and date other boys, but that plan failed miserably. Boys don't like me. I wasn'tstunningly beautiful, with big breasts and long blonde hair, and I couldn't make rude jokes to makethem laugh, like some of the girls in my class, who always seemed to have permanent boyfriends. Iwas just average looking, the type of person you'd walk past and not look twice at.I was also crushingly boring. I could never think of a single interesting thing to say. I could beintelligent when it comes to school work, which I threw myself into to distract me from my hopelessdaydreaming. I came into school every day just so I could see Jared and hope that maybe todaywould be the day he'd look at me. When it became apparent that it wouldn't, I concentrated onschool; anything to distract me from the pain of loving someone who doesn't know you exist.I'm not trying to sound like a stalker when I say this, but I knew loads about him. Whenever he'dhave a conversation with his friends, I'd listen intently, picking out facts about him. I knew stuff heloved, and stuff he hated, what people he liked and who he didn't like, who his friends were, and anyother things he saw as irrelevant details in his life. They were interesting to me.Sometimes I wished he was just turn around and notice me listening. Maybe then he would realisethat there was someone else who did care about what he thought, a lot. But he never turned around.He stopped coming into school for a while. A depression hung over me like a black cloud; persistent,ominous, dark. I lay in bed, watching the time, getting later and later for school but wondering whatthe point of it would be. I realised, pathetically, that I hadn't really a life outside daydreaming aboutJared. That thought made me even more depressed.Without Jared sitting next to me in the classroom, I was invisible. No one looked at me, no one talkedto me, and it was as though my seat was empty. At least people looked in my general direction when
Jared was near. My depression deepened. I felt as though I was treading water - barely - on an opensea. There was only the horizon ahead, no signs of rescue. I could either sink into the ocean, whichwas the easy choice. Just sink into oblivion, because no one would miss me anyway. Or I could keepstruggling to keep my head above the water, just in case a lifeboat decided to drift by.