10 Tips for Keeping Irritable Male Syndrome From Wrecking Your RelationshipRead Jed’s new book,
Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the IrritableMale Syndrome
on Scribd
at:
get a “hardcopy” by going tohttp://www.menalive.com/mrmean.htmJed Diamond, Ph.D. has been a marriage and family counselor for the last 45years. He is the author of 8 books, including
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Male Menopause, The Irritable Male Syndrome,
and
Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome
(May, 2010)
.
He offerscounseling to men, women, and couples in his office in California or by phonewith people throughout the U.S. and around the world. To receive a Free E-bookon Men’s Health and a free subscription to Jed’s e-newsletter go towww.MenAlive.com. If you are looking for an expert counselor to help withrelationship issues, writeJed@MenAlive.com. Studies show that 50% of first marriages, 67 percent of second marriages,and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. As a marriage and family counselor who specializes in helping men and the women who love them, I’ve found thatthe hidden destroyer of good relationships is a phenomenon I call “The IrritableMale Syndrome (IMS).” Here are 10 tips for keeping IMS from wrecking your marriage.1.Know your enemy.Here’s a letter I received, typical of thousands, which describes what familiesare up against.
“Last month a man came home from work with my husband’s face but he did not act at all like the man I married. I've known this man for 30 years, married 22 of them and have never met this guy before. Angry, nasty, and cruel are just a few words to describehim. He used to be the most upbeat, happy person I knew. Now he’s gone from Mr. Niceto Mr. Mean. In spite of how he treats me I still love my husband and want to save our marriage.
Women often wonder how the man can change from looking at her withlove and affection to giving her looks filled with hate and revulsion. One visualaid that helps them to understand what is going on is to recall the optical illusionof the “old-witch/young woman.”
What do you see? Is it a profile of a young and beautiful lady, or do you seean old witch with huge and ugly nose?You can’t see them both at the same time. Our brain organizes what it seesas one or the other. Men experiencing IMS often get “locked in” to the witch andaren’t able to hold a positive vision of their wives.
When IMS comes into the home, he blames her and she blames him. Butthe real villain is IMS monster who laughs maliciously in the background.
2.
Understand your man has been transformed from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.One of the most devastating aspects of IMS is watching the man you lovechange from a loving husband and father to someone who seems bent ondestroying everyone around him.
“My husband’s personality suddenly changed from my funny, loving Dr. Jekyll intoan angry, resentful, and controlling Mr. Hyde,” this married, mother of three, wrote to me.“He grew increasingly angry with me and seemed to withdraw from our marriage. Weused to enjoy being together. Now he spends most of his time in his home office or at theneighborhood bars until well after 1 A.M.”
Fortunately this transformation from Mr. Nice to Mr. Mean is reversible.
3.
Recognize the 4 most common symptoms of IMS.In the research study I conducted with over 60,000 males, I found therewere 50 symptoms (You can take the full quiz atwww.IMSquiz.com) that wereindicative of Irritable Male Syndrome. Here are the most common.
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How to Survive the Irritable Male Syndrome: 10 Tips to Keep Your Relationship From Falling Apart
Read Jed’s new book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome at: http://tinyurl.com/MrMeanBook
Studies show that 50% of first marriages, 67 percent of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.… (More)
Studies show that 50% of first marriages, 67 percent of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.… (More)
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