Food for Drunks

What do you like to eat when you’re drunk? We’re talking about food you like to eat whenyou’re actually drunk, not the next day when you’re hungover. That’s an entirely differentsubject altogether. We atCavedayconducted an extensive online survey asking thisquestion. We asked people on Facebook, so you know this survey is legit. Here’s what wefound…The formula is simple. Salt + Fat + Heat = Food. Violate any of the variables of thisequation and it simply isn’t edible. When asked specifically what kind of food people eatwhile intoxicated, mostly everyone opted for Mexican and the rest chose Taco Bell.Some people preferred pizza but mentioned that it’s usually not worth the hassle. What theyreally mean is that it’s too hard to call the pizza place and articulate the order. On that note,the people at the Mexican joint don’t know what you’re saying either, but somehow it worksout. Why is it that drunk people they think they’re fluent in Spanish and that its helpful toorder that way? Good thing our amigos at the taco shop are bilingual and speak Spanishand Drunk. In summary, Mexican food and T-Bell both satisfy the drunken food equationquite effectively. But let’s see what happens when we break the rules.I have this friend who always wants to eat Subway on the way home from going out. Not ameatball sandwich, which possibly might be good, but actually a standard cold turkeysandwich with

vegetables

in it. Think about that for a moment. It’s actually making megag just imagining it. Or how about this scenario? You’re at a friend’s birthday party havingsome cocktails, getting a little tipsy, and whoop-dee-fucking-doo out comes the birthdaycake. You have to eat a slice of cake, it’s a rule. As if you would dishonor your friend if yourefused. Cake, ice cream, and sweets taste like shit if you’ve been drinking. If they don’t,then you haven’t been drinking enough. Stop babysitting.