Of course, some of these comments apply to the thousands of straightforward books about sex.Perhaps one of the most misleading approaches to sex is presenting it as the be all and end all of life. Again and again it is suggested that if only you could do it all correctly, or had a largeenough penis, you would have a majestic relationship and have achieved spiritual enlightenment.This goal orienting, this dangling of carrots, is a great snare that you may become entangled in.Yes, I do now experience wonderful orgasms without tiredness. But I experience similarwonderful feelings while walking in my garden, seeing wild animals, or achieving something Ihave been working toward. Looking upon sex as a means toward final life happiness is as much of an illusion as thinking that having a certain amount of money, achieving fame, or getting a goodpass in your studies, will resolve all your pains and life difficulties. Like every other aspect of life,sex can be a great pleasure or a great misery. But it is not something to hang your hopes of happiness on.What the eastern teachings do state clearly again and again however, is that sexual activity andespecially ejaculation uses energy and can be depleting. They describe sexual activity as one wayof expressing the potential that lies at your core. A way of picturing this is to think of yourpsychobiological energy as building up, rather as it might in a battery. But it is better to think of itas a wave rolling in toward the shore. But in this case it is more like waves depicted whenshowing sound or radio waves. The wave builds up its crest, and then the wave discharges itspower and is flattened. In a sense, the energy is grounded, rather like it is when lightning flashes.With sexual energy the grounding or discharge that happens in ejaculation can become the basisof another physical life form – a baby.
The wave theory of sex
What the eastern teachings suggest is that the energy should not be grounded or discharged. Itshould be lifted up to its peak, and then, instead of discharge it can be held there and pushedhigher. If this can be achieved we burst into a new dimension of experience and expression. In thenatural course of life, if your energy is left to do its own thing, it will usually build up its waveheight, and then discharge in some way. The natural processes in you attempt this because one of your main drives is reproduction. But just as we have learned to understand natural processes suchas electrical discharge, and use them for our own purposes, such as light and heat, so also thenatural flow of psychobiological energy can be used in a way to leap beyond its habitual course.Remember that your psychobiological energy expresses in many different ways. It can express asmotor energy in muscular movement; it expresses all the time as the self-regulating processes of regeneration and repair in your body. It expresses as the urges you feel, to eat and breathe, tomake love and to communicate. It is the energy behind your emotions, you're thinking, speaking,and behind the higher functions of creativity and inspiration. What the eastern teachings say, and Ibelieve rightly so, is that if this psychobiological energy is redirected in the right way, then it canlead to what in the east is called Liberation or Enlightenment. What this means is that you arriveat an enormous synthesizing of your whole life experience, and understanding beyondrationalization, in which you know your essential self.But perhaps the most important thing to recognize here in regard to this energy and the subject of sexual tiredness is that the psychobiological energy is the way that Life itself expresses. It is theenergy that forms and maintains your body. Of course you could call it a process rather thanenergy. But it is still a process that moves, that directs, that effects change. So bear with me if Iuse the word energy. It is also the energy lying behind emotion, thinking, fantasy, dreaming, andthe whole realm of experience we call self.This is important to recognize. The reason being that if your energy is grounded, or dischargedtime after time, there is less chance of it building up to flow into different forms of mental andemotional activity. As Freud so rightly pointed out, frustrated or repressed sexual energy can