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Vultures on a Carousel: Geriatric Park

Vultures on a Carousel: Geriatric Park

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Published by Mike Greear
Columnist Mike Rutschky of eCorsair takes a minute to focus on the striking similarities between John McCain and gigantic lizards that went extinct 65 million years ago.
Columnist Mike Rutschky of eCorsair takes a minute to focus on the striking similarities between John McCain and gigantic lizards that went extinct 65 million years ago.

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Categories:Types, Research
Published by: Mike Greear on May 21, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Vultures on a Carousel: Geriatric Park
"War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the oldand bitter into killing each other" - Niko Bellic, Grand TheftAuto VI
Forget about the young and stupid part for a second, what I want to talk about isthe old and bitter. These are the crazy old reptiles that we willingly allow to leadour species, the dinosaurs that dodged the meteor and stayed warm during theIce Age. Hell, John McCain probably even gets hazy flashbacks of the ice agewhen people bring up the current “climate crisis.” I realize that it’s customary inour culture to respect your elders, but the people who are saying that are all oldas hell. What did we do with our elders before we respected them? We exiledthem off into the deserts so they couldn’t eat our food anymore. We certainlydidn’t elect them to public office.What does America stand to gain by electing John McCain as President thisNovember? I realize it’s a sure thing, so I’m not going to try to dissuade anyone.The world would come to a grinding halt if someone besides an ignorant oldwhite man ran it. But what are his merits? That he’s old? He sells himself as“experienced,” which is the “inclusive” way of saying that he’s “old as dirt.” Sowhy is it in the nation’s best interests to fall behind a crazy old man?Oh, but McCain also sells himself as a straight talker. He’s blunt and crotchetyand rides around on a bus called “The Straight Talk Express.” Aside from the factthat he’s a politician, which automatically ensures that he’s never once told thetruth to his audience, the guy is George Orwell’s wet dream. Back when he ranfor President in 2000 he told the audience of a South Carolina campaign stopthat he viewed the Confederate flag as “a symbol of heritage,” only three daysafter he publicly stated that the flag was a symbol of hate and slavery. He later admitted that this was “an act of cowardice” and that he had flip-flopped because"I feared that if I answered honestly I could not win the South Carolina primary,so I chose to compromise my principles." Does straight talk about being a lyingbastard still constitute straight talk? He flat out admits he’d tell you anything toget you to vote for him. I also like how he called fellow dinosaurs Pat Robertsand Jerry Falwell “agents of intolerance” and then switched his position andmade nice with them when he wanted to score the religious right vote.If you need more recent examples of McCain’s forked tongue, just turn on thenews. I just watched a three-minute compilation of McCain footage from hiscurrent campaign called “The Real McCain” that played like a “Best of” tape of him getting called out on his various untruths and deceptions. Por ejemplo, whentrying to make his case that everything’s cool over in Iraq, McCain tried to tellWolf Blitzer that General David Petraeus “goes out there almost everyday in anunarmed Humvee,” only to be schooled when CNN checks with Petraues’ peoplewho confirmed that the General “never goes out in anything less than an up-

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